i made you the thing mom!!!

Things Said in my Group Chat Starters

Feel free to change as needed!

  • “Beat up a doctor then steal his healing powers. You’ll never get hurt.”
  • “I made a coffee martini today. Tasted like satan’s sweat.”
  • “Time heals all wounds but not this bitch’s windows.”
  • “BURN IT. BURN THE SUN.”
  • “She had it coming. She had the mom sidebraid.”
  • “I need to stab.”
  • “THEY STOLE MY MENUS!”
  • “Eat the trees.”
  • “Sleep is just a myth anyways.”
  • “Hot writers in YOUR mobile game? It’s more likely than you think.”
  • “I wanted to burrito in bed today.”
  • “No embarrassment, we die like men.”
  • “Eat the world.”
  • “HELP ME I’M DOING EXTREMELY STUPID SHIT AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF INSTEAD OF SLEEPING”
  • “This summer I am exclusively eating bread.”
  • “We must stab it 23+ times.”
  • “A trumpet a day keeps the cold away.”
  • “Thot successfully repelled.”
  • “Don’t die. Death is dangerous.”
  • “CUDDLE ME!!!”
  • “You fool. That is not merely writing. That is art.”
  • “Centuries of evolution and mankind produces me. A person who can’t wear matching socks.”
  • “Your moral compass is a fidget spinner.”
  • “You appeared so I wanted to hug you.”
  • “Why are you breaking everyone’s arms?”
  • “Stabby dreams.”
  • “I must stop this harem in progress.”
  • “All we can do is stick out our leggy.”

dovebalitang  asked:

Hi! I saw the anon question about being a parent while blind and I wanted to share that my mom is blind and she's the best mom ever (no bias lol). Other than a few very minor things (I probably carpooled more than my friends) I had a very typical childhood. I never felt like I missed out on anything because my mom couldn't see. I just wanted to reassure anon that it's very possible to have kids while blind and if they (or anyone) want to talk to me I'm happy to answer questions!

Awww thank you for sharing this!! That’s really nice to see and I’m especially glad that you never felt like it made your life weird or sad. Thumbs up to your mom from a blind college student and thanks again for putting yourself out there for people to talk to!

Not so fast Morty 🏃🏻 you heard your mom 🙎🏼 we’ve got adventures 🔥 to go on Morty 😱😩👌 Just you 🤦🏻‍♂️🔫 and me 👨‍🔬🔫 and sometimes your sister 💁📱 and sometimes your mom 👩🏼‍⚕️🐎 but ‼️ NEVER ✋ your 😤 dad! 🤷🏻‍♂️❌😷 You wanna 🙈 know why Morty? 🙊💯 Because he CROSSED me 😡🙅‍♂️ Oh 😵 it gets darker Morty 😎🌚 Welcome 👽 to the 😭 darkest 😈 year of our 👨‍👦adventures 🙏😫 First 1️⃣ thing that’s 👩‍🎤 different ⁉️ No more dad Morty 🆒 He threatened 👀👎 to turn me in 🙋‍♂️👮 to the government 😓🙄 so I made him 🤤🐀 and the government 💩 go away 🖕 I repla😖ced them both 🌜🌛as the 😈 defacto 🤡 patriarch 👴🏻 of your family 👨‍👧‍👦and 😲 your universe 😱🌌🙌 Your mom 🐎 wouldn’t have 👋 accepted 🤝 me 🙄 if I came home 🏡 without you 👦🏻 and your sister 👱‍♀️ so now you know 🎓 the real 💯 reason 🌟 I rescued ⛑ you 👍 I JUST 💅🏼 TOOK OVER 🔝😵 THE FAMILY 👨‍👧‍👦 MORTY 🙍🏻‍♂️ And 👀 if you tell 🗣 your mom or sister 👩🏼‍⚕️💁 I said any of this 🙊 I’ll deny it 🙅‍♂️😤 And 😏 they’ll take my side 💕😌👫 because I’m a 🕺 hero 🏅🏆 Morty 😂🤣 And now 👊 you’re gonna have to do 🤹🏻‍♂️🐒 whatever I say 😝 Morty 😥 Forever 🕐🕔🕤🕙💀 And I’ll go out 🚶🏼 and find 🔭 some more 🙀 of that 👅 Mulan 🥋🎎 Szechuan 🐉🏮Teriyaki 😫💦 dipping sauce 🔥👌🙏 Morty 💦💦💦🙌 Because that’s 👉 what this 🎉 is all about Morty 🍗 That’s my 1️⃣ one ☝️ arm 🤳 man 🕺 I’m not ❌ driven 🚘 by avenging ✊🏻 my dead 💀 family 😭👨‍👩‍👧 Morty 💧 That 🤣 was 🙉 FAKE ✨ I’m 👨‍🔬 driven 💨 by finding 👀 that 😩 McNugget 🤘 🍟 Sauce 💦 I want 😱 that 😳 Mulan 🐉🥋 McNugget 🤡 Sauce 🍆💦Morty 😭 That’s 💪🏼 my series 🎬 arc 🌈 Morty 👑 If it takes ❤️ 9 ❤️ seasons ❤️ I WANT 😫 MY 👏 MCNUGGET 🍗🍟 DIPPING SAUCE 💦SZECHUAN 🔥 SAUCE MORTY 😡😵 IT’S 🤤 GONNA 🤸‍♀️TAKE 🚀 US 🙆🏻‍♂️👴🏻 ALL THE WAY 💫 TO 👉 THE 👉 END MORTY 🏁 9️⃣ MORE 💰 SEASONS 🤖 MORTY 💎 9️⃣ MORE SEASONS 🙌 UNTIL I GET 🎁 THAT 😍 DIPPING ‼️🔥 SZECHUAN 🎎 SAUCE 🍆💦😩 FOR 9️⃣7️⃣ MORE YEARS ⌛️🕰 MORTY 💀 I 👏 WANT 👏 THAT 👏 MCNUGGET 👏 SAUCE 👏 MORTY 👏

no not so fast morty. you heard you’re mom, we’ve got adventures to go on morty. just you and me, and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom. but never your father you wanna know why morty? because he crossed me. (ok take it easy rick, tha-that’s dark). oh it gets darker morty, welcome to the darkest years of our adventures. first thing that’s different, no more dad morty he threatened to turn me into government so i made him and the government go away. (ohhhh fuck). i’ve re-BURP-laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if i came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason i rescued you. i just took over the family morty! and if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because im a hero morty. and now you’re gonna have to go do everything i say morty. forever! and i-i’ll-i’ll go out and find some more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce morty! anb-because that’s what this is all about morty! tha that’s my one armed man. i’m not driven by avenging my dead family morty, that was fake, i-i-im driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! i want the mulan mcnugget sauce morty! that’s my series arc morty! if it takes 9 seasons, i want my mcnugget. dipping sauce szechuan sauce morty! (what are you talking about rick!?) that’s wha-that’s what (what are you talking about??) gonna take us all the way to the end morty! season 9 9 more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce. (what is that?!) for 97 more years morty (what are you talking about!?). i want that mcnugget dipping sauce morty!

Not so fast Morty 🏃🏻 you heard your mom 🙎🏼 we’ve got adventures 🔥 to go on Morty 😱😩👌 Just you 🤦🏻‍♂️🔫 and me 👨‍🔬🔫 and sometimes your sister 💁📱 and sometimes your mom 👩🏼‍⚕️🐎 but ‼️ NEVER ✋ your 😤 dad! 🤷🏻‍♂️❌😷 You wanna 🙈 know why Morty? 🙊💯 Because he CROSSED me 😡🙅‍♂️ Oh 😵 it gets darker Morty 😎🌚 Welcome 👽 to the 😭 darkest 😈 year of our 👨‍👦adventures 🙏😫 First 1️⃣ thing that’s 👩‍🎤 different ⁉️ No more dad Morty 🆒 He threatened 👀👎 to turn me in 🙋‍♂️👮 to the government 😓🙄 so I made him 🤤🐀 and the government 💩 go away 🖕 I repla😖ced them both 🌜🌛as the 😈 defacto 🤡 patriarch 👴🏻 of your family 👨‍👧‍👦and 😲 your universe 😱🌌🙌 Your mom 🐎 wouldn’t have 👋 accepted 🤝 me 🙄 if I came home 🏡 without you 👦🏻 and your sister 👱‍♀️ so now you know 🎓 the real 💯 reason 🌟 I rescued ⛑ you 👍 I JUST 💅🏼 TOOK OVER 🔝😵 THE FAMILY 👨‍👧‍👦 MORTY 🙍🏻‍♂️ And 👀 if you tell 🗣 your mom or sister 👩🏼‍⚕️💁 I said any of this 🙊 I’ll deny it 🙅‍♂️😤 And 😏 they’ll take my side 💕😌👫 because I’m a 🕺 hero 🏅🏆 Morty 😂🤣 And now 👊 you’re gonna have to do 🤹🏻‍♂️🐒 whatever I say 😝 Morty 😥 Forever 🕐🕔🕤🕙💀 And I’ll go out 🚶🏼 and find 🔭 some more 🙀 of that 👅 Mulan 🥋🎎 Szechuan 🐉🏮Teriyaki 😫💦 dipping sauce 🔥👌🙏 Morty 💦💦💦🙌 Because that’s 👉 what this 🎉 is all about Morty 🍗 That’s my 1️⃣ one ☝️ arm 🤳 man 🕺 I’m not ❌ driven 🚘 by avenging ✊🏻 my dead 💀 family 😭👨‍👩‍👧 Morty 💧 That 🤣 was 🙉 FAKE ✨ I’m 👨‍🔬 driven 💨 by finding 👀 that 😩 McNugget 🤘 🍟 Sauce 💦 I want 😱 that 😳 Mulan 🐉🥋 McNugget 🤡 Sauce 🍆💦Morty 😭 That’s 💪🏼 my series 🎬 arc 🌈 Morty 👑 If it takes ❤️ 9 ❤️ seasons ❤️ I WANT 😫 MY 👏 MCNUGGET 🍗🍟 DIPPING SAUCE 💦SZECHUAN 🔥 SAUCE MORTY 😡😵 IT’S 🤤 GONNA 🤸‍♀️TAKE 🚀 US 🙆🏻‍♂️👴🏻 ALL THE WAY 💫 TO 👉 THE 👉 END MORTY 🏁 9️⃣ MORE 💰 SEASONS 🤖 MORTY 💎 9️⃣ MORE SEASONS 🙌 UNTIL I GET 🎁 THAT 😍 DIPPING ‼️🔥 SZECHUAN 🎎 SAUCE 🍆💦😩 FOR 9️⃣7️⃣ MORE YEARS ⌛️🕰 MORTY 💀 I 👏 WANT 👏 THAT 👏 MCNUGGET 👏 SAUCE 👏 MORTY 👏

(1/3) “In every sense she was the perfect mom. She always tried to encourage me when I was younger. I was really shy, so she always worried about me being alone. She would ask things like: ‘Have you met anyone at school?’ or ‘Does anyone like the same things you do?’ She always knew when something was wrong. I never had to tell her anything. But Dad was the opposite. He ignored me. He never did anything wrong. He wasn’t an alcoholic. He wasn’t violent. He was just nothing—like a chair or a piece of furniture. His only idea of fatherhood was going to work. He never reacted to anything in my life. Not the good things, or the bad things. He didn’t react to me staying out late. He didn’t react when I experimented with drugs and alcohol. I made my mom very sad by trying to get my dad’s attention. A few years ago I got hit by a car. When I woke up from my coma, I called home to tell my parents what happened. My father answered the phone. I told him everything. All he said was: ‘Your mother is asleep right now. You can call her tomorrow.’ That hurt me worse than being hit by the car.”

(Santiago, Chile)

Y’know, I really appreciate Urbosa’s characterization in BOTW. Instead of making her that inappropriately flirty cougar type that Nintendo is so fond of using, (I’m looking at you great fairies,) they just kinda made her the mom?

I mean, look at her.

“Well, I’m sorry your mom died of a plot contrivance, and your father is an ulcerated dickblister, but good news, you’re mine now. I’m gonna buy you so many books. Do your chores and you can steer the Divine beast. Then we can braid each other’s hair and throw rotten fruit at men from Gerudo town’s walls. Link you better protect my precious daughter or I’ll crush your fucking skull between my thighs.”

Like, I’m imagining Riju making a pilgrimage to meet her ancestor’s spirit and the first thing Urbosa says to her is, “Did you eat breakfast this morning? Hold on I’ll make you some porridge.”

psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: Not so fast Morty you heard your mom we’ve got adventures to go on Morty Just you and me and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom but NEVER your dad! You wanna know why Morty? Because he CROSSED me Oh it gets darker Morty Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures First thing that’s different No more dad Morty He threatened to turn me in to the government so I made him and the government go away I replaced them both as the defacto patriarch of your family and your universe Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister so now you know the real reason I rescued you I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this I’ll deny it And they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say Morty Forever And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty Because that’s what this is all about Morty That’s my one arm man I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty That was FAKE I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce Morty That’s my series arc Morty If it takes 9 seasons I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY IT’S GONNA US ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY

psychic: what  t he  fu c k

blogcamarofreak  asked:

hmmm cause kuro is partly galra cat-like ? how would he respond to a litter filled with kittens ? is his nature taking over, like cat moms would ? or would he ignore it ?

Mama cat. Kuro would be The Mama Cat™

Like… he’d purr at them and respond to their meowing with strange cat-like noises. And he’d take the whole litter and build a nest of clothes and blankets for them in a safe place - Lance’s and his walk-in closet.

And he’d totally do that mama cat thing, you know, proudly showing off his kits to people like “look what I made” and as soon as people try to pat them, he’d go all “NO TOUCHING” on them (the whole program, hissing and clawing and everything).

when cutting onions:

-noct cries and complains about the fact that he’s crying
-prompto cries onto the actual onion
-gladio tears up and asks iggy why he’s doing this when literally anyone else could instead
-iggy doesn’t tear up because he’s a fucking beast

This is what “balancing the Force” looks like:

I wrote a 25-page paper on Star Wars arguing that “bringing balance to the Force” didn’t mean “the Jedi will be 100% in control” (and of course not the opposite) but bringing the two aspects of the Force into alignment, using Anakin as a case study. Brief recap of my paper:

  • EPISODE I
    • The Jedi literally don’t know that slavery still exists in the galaxy and are shocked when Shmi says “The Republic doesn’t exist out here… We must survive on our own.” So like… the fuck.
    • Anakin asks Qui-Gon “Have you come to free us?” and Qui-Gon says “No, I’m afraid not,” to which Anakin replies, “Why else would you be here?” Here we can see the innocence and goodness in Anakin juxtaposed against the moral ambiguity of the Jedi. They’re there for repairs on their ship - nothing more, nothing less. Witnessing slavery does nothing to change those priorities.
    • The Jedi take a child away from his mother, and when Anakin is (rightfully) scared for his mom, who has been left in slavery, the Jedi are still like well, you know, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, enforcing the laws against slavery seems kinda like a lot of work so we’re just not gonna get involved. That’s like… not quite what you would expect from the “Light” Side.
    • Anakin is literally a child whose mother has been left in slavery and, understandably, he’s kind of freaked out. Instead of acknowledging Anakin’s pain as legitimate and working with him, the Jedi take an oppositional stance, telling Anakin that “Fear is the path to the dark side” - a phrase that was much more apt in the Original Trilogy than it is here, where Anakin is only nine, and his fears are 100% rational.
  • EPISODE II
    • Obi-Wan asks Anakin if he’s sleeping poorly because of his mom, Anakin basically admits yes, and Obi-Wan says “Dreams pass in time.” Uh, Obi-Wan, I’m sure you have good intentions and all, but the problem isn’t in the dream world. Anakin’s dreams are a reflection of the actual, legitimate, very real danger his mother is in, and Obi-Wan’s response only dismisses Anakin’s fear and drives him further away from the Jedi Council. And, again, the Jedi could have fixed this entire situation by either rescuing his mother or actually trying to stop slavery instead of just paying lip service to the idea.
    • Anakin and Padmé fall in love, and Padmé is like “yo is this, like, allowed to happen for you??” and Anakin says “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life, so you might say we’re encouraged to love.” So… Taking a woman’s child so he can fulfill their prophecy and leaving that woman alone and enslaved on a desert planet is compassionate behavior now? Right. Sounds fake, but okay. Also, Anakin is literally pointing out the hypocrisy in that statement - so you can love humanity and people, but you can’t love a person? That’s super weird.
      • Falling in love is like… not really something you can help? Especially not the first time. Just, you know, speaking as the classic lesbian who has fallen for a straight best friend… just saying “don’t do that” is not really going to help. At all.
    • At this point, the Jedi have created a situation where if Anakin falls in love (as he is wont to do as a literal teenager who was not brought up in the Jedi Order of his own volition), he has to keep that love secret or a) risk expulsion from the Jedi and b) prove them “right” that he can’t be trusted. Which, you know, nobody wants to do.
    • Padmé tells him that he “had a nightmare again last night,” and Anakin says, “Jedi don’t have nightmares.” Yo, what the fuck. This kid is a teenager, his mom is on a desert planet and enslaved, and now he feels like he’s not even allowed to have nightmares? Which are not conscious? I get that the Jedi are supposed to have total control over themselves, but first of all, that’s a completely unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, much less a teenager, and second of all, that’s a real fucked up thing to imply on a mental health level. “You’re guilty, even for the pain that your brain is inflicting on you from childhood trauma in situations (i.e., unconsciousness) that you can’t even control!” Yeah, no. There is no way that could possibly go well. 
      • If Anakin is made to feel guilty for being scared or having nightmares or missing his mom from whom he was taken when he was not even ten years old, and Jedi are pointing to those feelings as evidence that he is dangerous and untrustworthy, he is put in a situation where he cannot admit that he needs help and therefore cannot access help. Like, just get the kid a shrink! And maybe rescue his mom! There are ways to address this and help Anakin stop having feelings, if that’s something we really have to do, without shaming him, which is gross and also distinctly unhelpful.
    • Anakin goes back to Tatooine to find his mom, she’s been kidnapped and tortured by Tusken Raiders, she dies in his arms, and he slaughters the Tuskens and vows to become so powerful he will be able to stop people from dying. Which, like, is not ideal - not condoning murder - but he’s also seen his mother for the first time in years, like at least half a decade, and he is a) completely overrun with survivor’s guilt and b) rightfully grieving and c) also rightfully pissed the fuck off that he finally sees him mom again only to have her die in his arms. Like, I’d be pissed, too. And you know what helps with grief? Talking it out!! Therapy!! Friendship!! You know what Anakin doesn’t have? Literally any of those things. He can’t admit that he’s grieving his mom because it would threaten his place in the Jedi Order. The Order’s strictness continues to place him in a catch-22 where admitting he needs help is already condemning him.
  • EPISODE III
    • Anakin beats Count Dooku in part because he is furious that Palpatine has been “captured” and taps into the Dark Side with that emotion. THEN, Padmé’s like “surprise, I’m pregnant,” and Anakin (again, understandably) flips the fuck out. He has nightmares about her dying in childbirth, and guess who he can’t go to for advice or help or even consolation? The Jedi!! Wow, this is going so well for everyone, what great policies we have here.
    • The Jedi Council want Anakin to spy on Palpatine, and Anakin (correctly) points out to Obi-Wan that this goes against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, and asks why Obi-Wan is asking this of him… to which Obi-Wan replies, “The Council is asking you.” So, you know, this doesn’t exactly endear Anakin to the Council, who have already been pretty shitty to him and are now seemingly hypocritical as well.
    • Palpatine says to Anakin, “Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you.” and yeah, he’s playing on Anakin’s confusion and suspicions and totally using him as a pawn here, but he’s also right. The Jedi have proven themselves to not have Anakin’s best interests at heart, even if they have good intentions. And they do fear Anakin, so, you know, that whole “non-attachment prevents fear” thing isn’t really working out for them either.
    • Palpatine tells Anakin that the Dark Side can allow you to control death, and Anakin (who, let’s remind ourselves, has watched his mother die in his arms) begs to know how so he can save Padmé should his nightmares come true and she die in childbirth. And, again, since he can’t go to the Jedi for any help with this, he feels he has no choice but to trust Palpatine.
    • Here we get to a real fun sequence of events. Palpatine tells Anakin he’s a Sith. Anakin threatens to kill Palpatine, but doesn’t, so he can maintain the possibility of learning how to save Padmé. He goes to tell the Jedi, who rush into action and don’t allow him to join them because they think his fear will cloud his judgment, ignoring the fact that a) they’re scared out of their asses too, and b) he literally just betrayed someone close to him??? for people who have really been nothing but shitty??? So I feel like Anakin’s doing surprisingly well rn and the Jedi are basically like, “Yeah, great, but also fuck you and stay here.”
    • Soooooooo, Anakin goes to save Palpatine (again, to then save his wife), and in order to save him he kills a Jedi. At this point, Anakin’s like “I’m completely fucked,” which is true (although he’s been fucked from the beginning because the Jedi suck), and he pledges himself to Palpatine because he doesn’t think he has any other option.
    • Okay, then he goes and murders a bunch of kids, so like. That’s not great. Not gonna condone that. This was A Mistake™. I think we can all agree on that. Moving on.
    • Obi-Wan and Yoda see footage of Anakin’s fun murder time and Obi-Wan goes to try to find and defeat Anakin. In order to find him, he tells Padmé what happened and then hides away on her ship.
    • Padmé talks to Anakin, flips out when she realizes Obi-Wan was telling the truth, and as she tries to talk Anakin down from his panic- and grief-fueled descent into insanity he says, “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother! I’ve become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’ve done it for you. To protect you.”
      • Side note, at this point I get annoyed because, like, Anakin, she literally Did Not Ask. Buddy, pal, friend, she specifically told you not to do this. I know your heart is in the right place, but like, this really could have all been prevented if you’d just listened to your wife. Why are the women in Star Wars consistently the only people who know what the fuck is going on?
    • Obi-Wan reveals himself, Anakin thinks Padmé betrayed him, and Force-chokes her. So, like, again, the anger is understandable, the Force-choking is not. Not going to defend that.
    • As Obi-Wan and Anakin fight, Anakin says something extremely telling: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” He isn’t lying. He isn’t even exaggerating. The Jedi have fucked him over at every turn. And the point that is being made here is that Anakin descends into madness because he, like the Jedi, lives at moral extremities. He goes mad and gives himself over to the Dark Side because the Jedi have thoroughly erased any possibility of a middle ground. 
      • The utter distrust that the Jedi Council have of “Gray Jedi” and the fact that “Gray Jedi” means both people who walk the middle ground of the Force and people who don’t answer to the authority of the Jedi Council also point to this. We can see this with Jolee Bindo and Qui-Gon, among others. If you walk the middle line, the Jedi will turn their backs on you. (Pro tip: if nobody is allowed to disagree with you, you’re probably not the good guys.)
    • Aaaaaaaaand finally the whole fight ends and Anakin becomes a weird lava-deformed creature of the night and when he finally wakes up and asks Palpatine if Padmé is okay, Palpatine says, “It seems in your anger, you killed her.” So, Anakin at this point a) is consumed with self-hatred, b) has nothing to live for because all of his loved ones either hate him (Obi-Wan) or are dead (Padmé, theoretically), and c) feels like he has no way out of the horrifying mess he’s put himself in. And here the prequels end.

What I’m trying to say here is that the Jedi aren’t perfect, and they don’t always use the Force for good. (See: “slavery is cool, we guess.”) Their emphasis on shutting out your emotions is ultimately what drives Anakin to the Dark Side because they allow no room for mistakes and therefore erase the possibility of Anakin ever getting help. Or, you know, compassion, which is supposed to be the Jedi version of love. So… The Sith suck. But the Jedi also suck. Not as much, for sure, but they are definitely guilty of some real fucked up things.

Now for the fun part!!!!! Rey, in Ep. VII, wins her battle against Kylo when she gets pissed. You can also see in that scene that when he’s overpowering her, you can see both the red and blue light reflected in her eyes, and when she closes her eyes and thinks “use the Force” and opens her eyes again, you only see the red.

What that piece said to me, and what this trailer and the poster say to me, is that “balancing the Force” means recognizing that emotions are not evil unto themselves, that you can love people and use that love to fuel goodness. Rey has the potential to balance the Force because she has already proven that she can harness emotion, be driven by emotion, and still use that for the Light Side.

Anyway, I fucking love Star Wars, meta is great, Rey can kick my ass any day, and if I’m right and these trailers are backing up my theory I am literally going to lose my mind.

anonymous asked:

“You bake when you’re stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you’re giving me whole baskets each day, now I’m not complaining but are you okay?” au sterek? <3

OK, I wrote you a quick little thing. :)

now also on ao3

*

When Derek shows up at Stiles’ back door that morning with a basket full of about three dozen cookies, all carefully iced to look like Batman and Spider-Man, Stiles doesn’t say anything. He just gets up from the kitchen table and opens the screen door, and then he looks down at the basket for a long, long moment, and then he rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes and groans.

He looks kind of… unkempt. He’s wearing the same sweatpants and lacrosse hoodie he’d had on two days ago when Derek saw him at his mailbox, and his hair is sticking up everywhere, and it’s obvious he hasn’t shaved in a while because there’s some actual stubble there. Derek didn’t think Stiles was even capable of facial hair. It only adds to his attractiveness, but still, Derek can’t help but be concerned.

Derek doesn’t usually start conversations, but today he feels like making an exception. “Are you okay? This is a lot more baking than usual, even for you.”

“What? What do you mean?” Stiles says, dropping his hands to his sides. His face cycles through about five or six different expressions before settling on something that’s probably trying to say “innocent and oblivious,” but… well. Derek might not know Stiles that well, but he knows Stiles is definitely not either of those things, ever.

“The cookies,” Derek says slowly. “That you leave on my doorstep a few times a week while I’m out on my morning run.”

Stiles glares down at the cookies Derek’s holding like they’ve betrayed him.

“We don’t talk about it,” Derek says slowly, unsure, “but I thought you knew that I knew it was you. I mean, no one else in the neighborhood even talks to me.”

Keep reading

Not so fast Morty,
You heard your mom
we got adventures to go on Morty🖐🏻
Just you and me
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom
but NEVER your dad!
You wanna know why Morty?
Because he CROSSED me 👍🏼

Oh it gets Darker Morty,
Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures,
First thing that’s different
no more dad Morty
he threatened to turn me into the government, so I made him
and the government go away.

I repla*burp*ced them both as the patriarch of your family
and your universe 👉🏻
Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me
if I came home without you or your sister,
So now you know the Real reason why i rescued you
I Just Took Over The Family Morty!
& if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this, I’ll deny it!
& they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty!
Now you’re gonna have to do whatever i say Morty! Forever!!
(as if he didnt already)
(that close up of Rick looks sexy btw)
& I-I
*has a mini stroke with his words*
I’ll go out and find some of that, Mulan Szechuan* Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty!
BEcause That’s 🙌🏼
that’s what this is all about Morty!
That’s my one arm man?!
I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty!
That was FAKE!
(Morty tries to crawl away and Rick pulls that bitch closer to him)
(Morty looks genuinely terrified LOL)
I’m driven by finding that
McNugget Sauce!!
*Morty in the backround*
“Nugget?!!”
I want That Mulan McNugget Sauce!
Morty!
That’s my series arc Morty!
It takes 9 seasons!
(I’d watch that tbh)
I WANT MY MCNUGGETS! 👉🏻

—  Rick Sanchez
Rick and Morty S3 E1
April 1st, 2017

A few years ago, I started doing this thing where I take care of myself from a third-person perspective. It started when I got diagnosed with my neurological condition, as a way to remember and embrace that I had a handicap, and that my life would improve if I observed proper care of it. For example, when I started to get overloaded I taught myself to step outside of the situation and say, “Self, hey, I think we need to get out of here. Remember that you’re sick, and it’s okay that you’re sick. I know you’re still working, and I’m sorry, but it’s time to take us home.” A big step in my life happened when, on one of those days where just nothing worked at all, I just put myself to bed with a book and glass of milk at 4:00 in the afternoon, saying, “We did our best, but I think we need to shut this day down. This is your job right now; I need you to get a lot of rest, because there’s a lot to do tomorrow.” Everything feels so much better when someone understands and accepts what’s up with you, even if it IS you. Even the tough-love aspect through the worst of times that says, “I know this is breaking you down into little pieces, and I’m so, so sorry to do this, but I need you to keep going. I’m going to get us out of this, but in order to that I need you to keep going” makes everything so much easier. 

It’s turned into this major thing in my life. I can already state that this is the most important thing for success in grad school. When you can look at yourself objectively and feel a need to care for that good, hardworking little human as best you can, it makes it easy to put your health and safety first. It’s second nature to celebrate even the smallest victories of that person, because you work so hard to take care of them, and you see that hard work paying off in countless ways. Standing up for yourself if easy when that voice in your head rears up at once, unable to just sit by and let your person get kicked around. It’s hard for me to think, ‘Hey, please don’t say those mean things to me,’ but when I look at the situation from the outside I immediately start going, ‘Woah, buckarooni, you think I am gonna just sit here, let you talk at my human that way? Bouta get my foot in your face is what’s bouta happen, friend.’

This practice has made me more compassionate, more patient, and less tolerant of mistreatment of those around me in any form. The saying, ‘treat others as you treat yourself’ goes a long way when you treat yourself really, really well. I strongly recommend this practice to you student types. Be your own mom/big brother or sister. Or date yourself, be a healthy relationship. Put your own name on the list of people in your support system. 

Unlucky Nine: A list of antis you may or may not have encountered in the vld fandom

Start Note: When I mention [Ship Name] Anti, it means a shipper of that ship who is also anti of another ship mentioned depending on the context as opposed to Anti-[Ship Name] which is someone who is an anti of the ship mentioned.

I. “Ship K/ance or Sha//ura or my ship instead” anti

These antis are just assholes. They insult other ships that contend to their own. These antis are prevalent in Sheith, Kallura and sometimes Shidge tags.

You get K/ance antis calling Sheith yaoi culture but then they totally change Keith and Lance’s character to fit the same trope. I was so pissed the other day because someone took Lance and just shoved Uke™ on him to fit an AU where he crushes on Keith.

You got K/ance & Sha//ura antis calling Kallura heteronormative but we aren’t the ones who’re forcing a mom troupe on her despite her not being really motherly. (Hunk is the mom friend but let us forget the fat character for aesthetics) You get them saying they love Allura but her story line, which focuses on her duty and willingness to sacrifice anything for it, is shoved for some romance. (Allura, although possibly having some romantic take to it, did not save Shiro because she had a fucking crush on him. She saved him because he needed saving and she viewed his role to Voltron as more important than hers.Stop acting like it is a canon romantic scene. No real scene in Voltron is really inherently romantic.)

You got K/ance shouting if Kallura happens, there won’t be any representation (m/m) but we still got Shiro, Lance and Hunk. Yes, we still got Shunk, Shance and Hance. if we go poly, there is Shunce. And if we dig deeper and you are willing, add Coran into the mix(I’m shoran trash undeniably).

You got them saying Shidge is wrong but the most official thing we got is actually the OFFICIAL Voltron site (whose content probably was made known to the entire crew and was advertised to the general public) saying ‘5 teens.’ But let us dwell on a half-baked video where a person throws numbers into some of the crew’s mouths. Let us not dwell on how Allura has no one bit of an age meter. For all we know, she could be a centuries old Alien. But sure why not, dwell on Shidge.

They put their ships on high pedestals to trample on other ships but you are probably a hateful bitch when you call them out on their shit.

II. “Shiro is spacedad” anti (bonus points for Allura as space mom)

These antis believe Shiro is a grandpa. They seem him as a father figure which would have been okay because let us admit that at some point the space dad joke were funny UNTIL PEOPLE TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY. Unlike the typical fan who laugh at the jab, these people take things to far and actually think it is canon. Shiro is actually a dad. “How dare you hc Shiro as a young and vulnerable character instead of my perfect space dad™?” All that crap.

But if you remember Prisoner Shiro, Kerberos Shiro, he looks pretty young. If you change back his hair before the frosty tips, remove the scar and the buff bara bod (he probably got from fighting in the ring), you wouldn’t find him looking wise beyond his years.

Coupled with Canon™ Space Mom Allura, it just pisses me off. Allura is enigmatic, a bit impulsive but her impulses are mostly practical, not afraid to jump into action, a bit bossy and domineering at times, yes, but deep down inside Allura is just a princess who wants her life back, who wants to live in peace with pretty things like her Altean flowers, who wants to go shopping for sparkly things, and maybe experiment with cute hairstyles.

This is why it kinda pisses me off. The idea was cute. Heck, I made an entire Sha//ura au once with my friend with the whole vld family thing but when they just pushed for it on discourse and acted like it was some holy canon grail, I was just really seven levels of salt.

III. “Pidge is like 4 months old” anti

These antis just infatalize Pidge. “Pidge is a kid. She can’t make romance decision. Pidge is practically a baby. How dare u” and all that shit. But it is totally fine for someone you see as a ‘kid’ to be flying an alien warship and engaging in an intergalactic war? Same goes for those who infantalize other Paladins. The logic is flawed enough but something else really pissed me off in this one.

My main concern with this is that the blatant forcefulness that Pidge is young because she has all the stereotypical looks of younger people. It undermines short girls who never grow up to be tall and developed upfront. Some people never get hit with puberty right. I was thirteen and 5′1 and now I’m  nineteen and guess what? 5′1.5. Where is the justice puberty? You didn’t hit me up. You just poked me with a stick once and left.

And just the other day, guess what? I was again assumed to be like fourteen, especially since I was standing right next to my tree of a younger brother who is like sixteen. I probably would be rich right now if i had a dollar for every single person who thought I was fourteen. Pidge may look young by stereotypical standards, sure. But that doesn’t mean she is. She could just be a short 19 year old.

The concept of child-coded is bullshit. I mean look, I look, by stereotypical anti standard, like a fourteen year old therefore when tall people my age or older (who coincidentally also fit the stereotypical adult look standard) theoretically like me, we are perpetuating pedophilia. If we start dating, since they are adult-coded and I’m child-coded, it’s almost as if it is already pedophilia.

If anything, the infantalization of Pidge showed me that people, yes I repeat, people will continue to be misogynistic to women who do not fit the stereotype of what a woman should be. I mean, when did height and cupsize amount to a woman’s age and maturity as a person? It just says you have to fit this shitty standard to be something and to be recognized and that is fucking bullshit.

Oh well, to the antis, I guess I’ll be a minor forever. And to end this segment with another one of your fave defenses, “I”M MINOR-CODED AND CHILD-CODED SO YOU CAN’T ATTACK ME UWU”

IV. “Shiro’s trauma is an issue” anti

This is by far the one of the things I’ve seen. These people say that because Shiro experienced some traumatizing shit, he is not eligible for a relationship with any of the Paladins. It basically says that because Shiro has ptsd, he can’t date anyone who is potentially(meaning they see this character as young or immature and they aren’t actually as such) less mature™ or younger than he is. It basically says that since Shiro has ptsd, he must be toxic by default. It thrives upon the logic that anyone with mental health issues is gonna be toxic in relationships. (except Sha//ura cuz apparently Shiro who they call toxic in all other relationships isn’t toxic there)

V. “go fucking kill yourself” anti

No explanations needed. Assholes with no regard for human life. Suicide baiting, Gas lighting, you name it. Best thing to do is just block these. No arguing with them.

VI. “I’m a minor/survivor/minority group so I am allowed to be an asshole to anyone” anti

These are the people who go and attack others but when you call them out on their shit, they go like “but we are a minor/survivor/part of a minority.”

I’m only gonna say this once so listen well. (Who am I kidding? I’ve stressed this so much.) Being a minor/survivor/minority does not excuse you from being an asshole. You can experience terrible things and be like fourteen but you can still be an asshole. It does not give you a free pass to ruin other people’s lives. Get that inside your head. Someone can be depressed and still be an asshole. Someone can be autistic and still be an asshole. Someone can be gay and still be an asshole. Someone can be part of a general minority group and still be an asshole. Their status as a minor/minority/survivor DOES NOT make them an asshole but this specific person, who coincidentally fits in a certain group, is just an asshole. Their status is merely circumstantial and not the root of their being an asshole therefor it must not be used as an excuse for them to be one.

VII. “Shaladin is okay except for Shidge ft. Ship Sh/att instead” anti

I’m like WHY? These antis act like they are allies and they are good™ but they throw Shidge under the bus and vilify it to somehow make other shaladin ships appeal to the anti standards. You draw the line in Shidge? Well, I draw the line in vilifying ships to put yours on a pedestal. I would’ve understood if it was just basic ‘I don’t like Shidge’ but no, it has to rhyme with the anti logic of infantalizing her and all those things.

And don’t let me get started on Sh/att. Cuz it just shattered all the hope of me getting into this ship. This was good, old friends trope, I couldn’t save you trope. You name it. It has all the layers of angst that normally i would dive into. But the shippers use the same rhetoric shaladin antis use on Shidge. “It’s shidge but gay” Do you know how misogynistic you sound? And how dare you think I ship my ship because ‘aesthetics uwu’.

The idea of throwing Shidge out to appeal to the antis like some sacrificial lamb is just anti rhetoric itself. “It’s okay if one ships takes the fall for us.” It’s just pointing fingers at someone, in this case some ship. And honestly, that sucks.

VIII. “I’m gonna misuse social justice to call you all these names and not appreciate social justice when it is working against me” anti

These antis are those who try to shit on ships by appealing to twisted social justice but the moment actual social justice works against them, they try to ignore it and you just know, it was never a social issue to begin with.

A perfect example of this are the “Bi Lance for K/ance” antis. They shout and tell the world,”we got Bi Lance, we got a bi character in our ship. Whoop Whoop representation” but moment someone goes “oh nice, I ship Lance with Allura/Pidge/Nyma/Plaxum/any girl in existence.” They jump at you and call you cis het scum or whatever. But Lance is Bi right? Don’t Bi people like umm girls too???? Yes??? Do you know what a bi is?????

You see, they actually don’t care about bi representational at all unless it is used to put their ships up. And don’t get me started on the hate for ‘Bi Keith.’ I know the idea of Gay Keith is a fan fave but Bi Keith is a possibility. Like Bi Lance is everything to the universe but you are suddenly Zarkon if you as much think about Bi Keith. You love bi representation so much don’t you?

Oh and the antis who go like “we are protecting survivors and minors” just as they attack survivors and minors. Good job on the protecting.

Everything these antis do is just plain crap. When you untangle their twisted social justice and see the ulterior motives, you see their actions for what they are, personal vendettas against shippers, attacks so that whatever shitty ship they have gets to trample on other ships.

IX. “fiction is reality” anti

These are just antis who thrive on the idea that fictitious content is actually reality and therefore every dark-themed content is evil.

Tell me why I’m not marking Priests with hot iron stamps fresh from flames and killing them? I read Angels and Demons. Tell me why I’m not suddenly killing humans and eating them? I watched Hannibal. Tell me how I haven’t butchered the person I like? I watched School Days + Higurashi and I was like thirteen, a minor yes, at the time. Tell me how I’m not suddenly taking people in strange boats and making them go through hell, I was eight, a fucking kid, I watched Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl). They are unanswerable because fiction is in fact not reality.

The idea that fiction is reality is just the same as how way back four or so years ago, there was a backlash in gaming like with fighting and guns because it supposedly perpetuates violence and supposedly hypnotizes people. And you know how stupid that idea is? That is how stupid the idea that ‘fiction’ is reality’ in fandom is.

And if you actually do think fiction is reality, I suggest you seek medical help.

End Note: Antis may appeal to other forms of attacks or a mix of these but you guys stay strong and safe.

Dear @markiplier,

I don’t know if you know about what happened on Friday. I woke up early to get the bus to get there “On time” like many others might’ve. Since the line up for your signing wasn’t supposed to be until a hour and a half before as a bunch of people said and in the past the cap was at 200 people. I got there around 9:32 AM just about. We rushed down to the Queue Room as fast as we could go. 

When we got there we discovered that they gave out tickets at 8 am and they were gone by 8:30 am because the Center opened a hour early for some reason. We tried to bargain, we tried to sneak (like a few I know had done who ended up seeing you), we tried so many things to no avail. It felt so unfair that me along with so many others were kicked out because the line up time wasn’t correct for meeting you. 

I was heartbroken, devastated even knowing I could never meet you. I promised so many good friends I’d ask things since they couldn’t go. I had letters, art even one from @simpleagle that I printed out to give you. But I failed my promises. I failed my friends. I failed to be a messenger. I began to sob as I sorted through the pile of things I had printed for you my stuff I drew, wrote and other things my friends made. My face was so red from crying I felt like a idiot in front of all those people waiting for you.

After I came back from getting food my mom was there following the line saying a Enforcer let her in but another came to get out or we’d be flagged to even going near you he sounded almost cheerful saying it. They made us give them our gifts to them because “he wouldn’t care/he won’t even look at it” that hit me with a sinking feeling of dread. 

I don’t know if you will see this @markiplier but hopefully you will. Hopefully others will share this so you can see the mess that happened.

Dear Ex-Best Friend,
So I’m writing this currently and there’s so much I could say but I don’t know how to say any of it. Are you hurting, are you affected by this at all? I’m not trying to come off as an ass but I genuinely want to know are you hurting. I mean when the final decision was made I cried on and off for 2 hours. And currently, I’m still not fully over it. I don’t think I ever will be. I know they’ll be days when I see you at school or on the bus and my heart will just hurt because it’ll make me think of what we used to have and it’ll want that again. I hate the fact that I lost you, my best friend. The memories we shared are ones I’m never going to forget. They’ll always be in the back of my mind and every now and then they’ll come back and show me the amazing life I had with you. You were there for me through pretty much everything whether the problem is big or small. You made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that I didn’t have to feel weird about things. You were also my support and backbone through everything, whether the situation is stupid or serious. You were always there and now not having you here a piece of me is missing. When you left I literally felt my heart just break and then I felt empty, but now I don’t know what I feel. I just feel nothing I guess. I wanted you to be the friend that when my kids asked “Mom who is your best friend?”, I could say you. I wanted us to be the 2 old crazy ladies in the nursing home dancing to One Direction. I wanted you to be the one to help me plan my wedding and my baby shower(s). I wished and wished that we could be those friends that their bond lasts forever, but it was only just a wish. Eventually, I’ll move on but I’ll never forget you, and I hope you’ll never forget me. I still look at your page and from an outside point of view it looks like you don’t care, but I don’t really know that. I hope I don’t look stupid for crying all that time and just wishing it was a dream that I could wake up from. I hope that I’m not the only one who now has a piece of their heart missing that’ll never be found. I hope one day along the road possibly we can bump into each other and automatically connect like nothing ever bad happened. I’m probably hoping for something that’s never going to happen but hey, a girl can only hope. I guess this is goodbye. I don’t want it to be but it has to. Well, bye I guess and I hope you have a good life.

Sincerely,
Your ex best friend

10

Perfect Princess Moon vs. Actual Queen Moon Butterfly 

Yeah. When you write a character who is like yourself or someone you know, you don’t want it to be reduced down to something like, She’s crazy or She’s a bad mom, or She’s a good mom with a bad daughter. I wanted to write complex characters who sometimes do bad things. I wanted to put something on every page that was like, Just remember, they’re a human! There’s a paragraph that’s like, They’re doing the best they can, but sometimes the best you can do falls short. That’s the most terrifying part. But you fall in love with these people and you hope that you made them nuanced enough that people won’t reduce them down. Lynn Steger Strong 

+ BONUS

8

Top 10 One Tree Hill relationships (as voted by my followers) #8 - Brooke and Nathan

“The thing is, the two of us have been down very similar roads. I mean, we were in the same cliques first. We both felt the same pressures, same expectations. Our parents were like children, and we both grew into kind of bad versions of ourselves way too fast. So I think you know I get it. They never really gave us a chance, did they - our parents? They didn’t know how. Look, the thing is, you made your dream happen, all right? And even though I didn’t quite get there, when it was taken away from me,I dealt with it alone. That was stupid, selfish and wrong. So if your mom tries to take your dream away from you and you feel that same pain I did I’ve sort of been there, okay? I’m gonna be kind of pissed off if you don’t come talk to me about it. Anyway, thank you for coming today. It means a lot. I know you didn’t know Quentin but it doesn’t surprise me that you’re thinking about other people when all this stuff is going on with you. That’s not bad for a girl who never had a chance.”