i made this yesterday thought it was horrible

Joker Imagine - ‘Just Kill Me!’ PART 2

Part 1 here

Originally posted by suicidesquadsource

Originally posted by relationshipaims


Your P.O.V.

The next day I woke up alone in our bed. The other side of the bed was still a little warm so I knew J hadn’t been up for long. I yawned and sat up, but stopped in my tracks as I felt a paint in my ribs. ‘’Ouch’’ I mumbled, knowing immediately that a bone must have been broken. I got out of bed and made the bed before getting dressed. I was wearing a silky nightgown and that’s all. I fluffed the pillows and then made sure everything was neat.

I got in the bathroom and washed my face. As I started to brush my teeth and put on make-up, I thought about yesterday. What a horrible day. J promised to not hurt me again and I really wished with all my heart that he wouldn’t. I was terrified.After a long bath and being kissed all over, he ordered some pizza for us. The rest of the day was ok.

Fifteen minutes later I was done with my makeup and I changed my clothes.  J was probably two floors down with his henchmen, planning the next mission. I was still not sure whether I could come or not. But based on his anger yesterday, I doubted it and I wouldn’t even ask.

Another ten minutes later I was dressed in red underwear, black jeans and a blue button up shirt of his. His shirts were comfier than mine , at least at home. I walked out of our penthouse and got into the elevator. As I saw myself in the mirror, I realized that the bruise on my jaw was still visible from under the foundation. ‘’Oh well..’’ I sighed just as the doors slid open. His henchmen were around computers and some of the offices were taken. I walked further inside and tried to find my J.

Instead of finding Joker, I saw Frost by a group of henchmen. I felt like I had to apologize to him sooner or later, even tho I couldn’t remember quite what I did wrong. Just then I heard J’s angry voice. I followed it and stayed behind a corner where I saw him in front of about 10 of his men. 

‘’If I see that one of you do that again, I will put a bullet through your fucking head!’’ He snarled angrily at them. My heart started to beat harder in my chest even tho he wasn’t yelling at me. The henchmen nodded and some said ‘yes sir’ or ‘yes boss’ in fear. Everyone feared Mr.J. Even Batsy even tho he tried not to show it.

‘’Oh and one more thing’’ J suddenly remembered and walked towards the corner where I was. I literally held my breath so he wouldn’t notice me. I watched as he got in front of a dark haired guy. J smiled evilly and I recognized that smile. It was a smile you didn’t want to see, because nothing good ever followed afterwards. ‘’I know how you looked at my girlfriend yesterday during mission’’ J told him, making a shiver run down my spine.

‘’Boss I-I didn’t..’’ He defended himself with a stuttering voice. ‘’Oh’’ J fake pouted and grabbed his gun from his silver jacket. I watched as he pressed it against the man’s abdomen. ‘’You tried to distract her didn’t ya? It’s you who wanted her to fail..’’ He growled deeply, raising the gun up until he was pointing at his head. ‘’No boss, I didn’t’’ The guy gulped, but even I could hear it was a lie.

‘’Oh such a shame..’’ J sighed and pulled the trigger. I had never startled from a gun before, but suddenly my heart jumped to my throat and a flashback of him hitting me flashed before my eyes. I saw the guy fall dead on the ground and blood pooling on the hardwood floor.

‘’To the others, don’t ever mess with Y/N’’ J warned them,but I was too shocked to focus. I could literally see him hitting me again and again and again. Before he could find me, I hurried back to the elevator. I pressed the button to get on the 30th floor which was our penthouse. Just as I thought the doors would shut, J stepped in. ‘’Oh you’re awake’’He noticed and smiled.

‘’Yeah, I was..looking for you’’ I said nervously, ignoring the fact that I had seen him kill the guy and that I had a flashback. ‘’You found me’’ He chirped and then the elevator shut and went up. ‘’Y-yeah..’’ I mumbled quietly.Fuck it, I was a bad liar sometimes. But J didn’t question me. I saw that he raised his arm and it caused me to flinch. I raised my arms in front of my face and shut my eyes tightly. My muscles grew tense and my breath hitched in my throat as I waited for a hit.

‘’Sorry! Sorry..I didn’t mean to lie!’’ I whimpered and my knees started trembling. ‘’Y/N..’’ J said my name sadly. I gritted my teeth nervously and peeked at him between my arms. He looked sad, not angry or shocked, just really sad. ‘’I wasn’t going to hit you’’ He told me with a broken voice. Oops. I lowered my arms and then bit the inside of my cheek. The elevator doors opened, but he didn’t walk out. ‘’Did you think that babe?’’ He whispered and slowly moved his hand on my shoulder.

A blush spread on my face from embarrassment. ‘’Sorry J’’ I apologized and felt uncomfortable. Why would I do that? ‘’Don’t be..’’ He sighed and then walked into our penthouse. I followed him and stayed quiet. Just as he shut the front door, he spoke again. ‘’What were you saying in the elevator?’’ He asked me and walked to the kitchen. I followed him a little nervously. Would he be mad again? I guess I just had to find out.

‘’I saw that you shot him..’’I admitted and then played with the hem of the shirt I was wearing. J faced me quietly and it made my heart beat harder and I hated it. I hated to be scared of him. ‘’Good. At least I don’t have to tell it to you’’ He said rather calmly which surprised me. ‘’Are you sure you’re ok with it?’’ I looked up to him in surprise. 

His red lips curved into a sweet smile. ‘’Yes doll’’ He purred and suddenly I felt his hands on my hips. ‘’Relax babe’’ He told me, probably noticing that my soul nearly jumped out of my body whenever he moved. ‘’I’m trying’’ I admitted shyly and looked away. Usually I was carefree and hyper around J. He probably hated me like this which made me feel more of a bother.

‘’Let me make you feel good..’’ He whispered into my ear and suddenly pressed his crotch against mine. My eyes widened and I was sure I was blushing. ‘’Okay babe?’’ He asked me and rubbed my back. Holy shit he was hot when he spoke like that. I nodded and let him lift me onto the kitchen island so I was sitting on it. I wrapped my legs around him and then kissed his red lips. J kissed me warmly and was quick to push his tongue into my mouth. I could kiss him until I’d choke because these moments were somehow rare but so amazing.

J touched my body softly and started to unbutton the shirt while his lips were devouring mine.His warm kiss made me relax and melt onto him. ‘’You have the sweetest lips doll’’ He let me know and then threw the blue shirt on the kitchen floor. Then he unbuttoned my pants and dragged them off. ‘’Eager much?’’ I smiled and looked into his darkened eyes. ‘’I’m hungry’’ He told me raspily and I swear it was the hottest thing. I nearly came at the sight of him being horny.

His fingers hooked around my red panties and he pulled them off. I kicked them on the kitchen floor and then laid down on the kitchen island. J sat down on a stool and wrapped his arms around my legs. ‘’You’re so wet doll’’ He let me know raspily and then kissed my thigh. ‘’Don’t tease’’ I begged, really eager to feel his mouth do the magic on me.

Suddenly J pressed his warm mouth on my wet pussy and licked up from my slit so he could taste me. My eyes rolled to the back of my head from the pleasure I hadn’t felt in a few weeks now. Foreplay had stayed aside lately which was kinda sad. ‘’So good’’ He purred and pressed his tongue on my clit. It felt so good.

‘’Yes J..’’ I moaned as he started to eat me out real good. He pushed his face closer to me and gently nibbled on my sensitive nub. I moved my hands to his hair which I usually wasn’t allowed to do. The only time I could mess with his green hair was when he was between my legs. J pushed his long tongue inside of me, spreading my soft walls a little bit. Then he started to push his tongue in and out of me, making pleasure build up in me.

‘’Fuck yeah’’ I purred happily and bucked my hips against his face while pushing him closer by his hair. I was so fucking sensitive so it felt ten times better. Each time he did a little rougher move, I bucked my hips and moaned louder. After a while he pulled back and I looked down at him. His face was glistening because of my arousal. He was smiling and looking at me darkly because he was so lustful. 

‘’Boss are you here?’’ Someone yelled from behind the door. ‘’Yes and I’m busy’’ He shouted back and suddenly pushed two fingers inside of me, making me gasp in surprise. I had to cover my mouth with my hand so the man behind the door couldn’t hear me. ‘’How long?’’ He asked J. Joker started to fingerfuck me roughly, pushing his fingers deep inside of me each time. I could hear my wetness as he fingered me. It felt so good that it was nearly impossible to shut up.

‘’Twenty minutes or something’’ J informed the guy and came closer to me. As he fingered me with his long fingers, he pressed his warm mouth on my throbbing clit. That’s it. A loud moan escaped my mouth and I felt like heaven. I knew the man had heard us, but I didn’t care anymore. An orgasm was building up inside of me and J pushed me closer each time he touched my G-spot.

‘’Fuck J!’’ I moaned loudly and wanted more. He licked and sucked on my clit and then pushed a third finger inside of my tightness. First it hurt a tiny bit, but pleasure took over quickly. He used his other arm to keep my hips down so I couldn’t squirm if it got a little too much. ‘’Come for me baby’’ He encouraged me and then looked up to me while eating me and fingering me.

I held my breath and then let go. A powerful orgasm hit my like a brick wall and I yelled out his name in pure pleasure. My walls tightened around his fingers ,yet he didn’t stop. ‘’J!’’ I whimpered and tried to wiggle away because I was so sensitive. Every little touch made me jump, but he kept me down. ‘’Relax’’ He told me darkly and continued licking my clit. I couldn’t even breathe properly.

‘’Fuck fuck fuck’’ I grunted and tried to handle the pleasure that was overwhelming me. My vision got a little blurry, but I managed it. Since he never stopped, it didn’t take long for a second orgasm to come closer. ‘’J..Oh..fuck’’ I whimpered and tugged his hair. My other orgasm came out of the blue, numbing all my other senses but the ability to feel. As the pleasure rolled on my body, my legs started to shake and my head fell back in pure pleasure.

I swear I could see stars.

J pulled out his fingers and I felt something wet. He started licking my pussy hungrily, making me whimper because I was still sensitive. This really drained my energy a little bit. ‘’You taste delicious’’ He let me know while finishing me up. My body was taken over by the pleasure and sensitivity of two mind blowing orgasms. J noticed and stood up. ‘’Aw baby..do you feel good?’’ He asked me and helped me to sit. I squeezed my legs together and leaned against his chest while catching my breath.

‘’Mhhmm’’ I tried to mumble a yes. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. ‘’You squirted babe’’ He whispered proudly while holding me. A blush spread on my face, but I didn’t really mind. He did it to me. ‘’The others heard us’’ I reminded him. ‘’So what? At least they know that you’re mine doll’’ 

When it comes to looking at the nature of your thought or your emotion for that matter, any number of times in your life, it has made you believe so many things and after little bit of time it makes you feel like a fool for what you believed yesterday. Today your emotions tell you that this is the most wonderful man, then tomorrow your emotions tell you that this is the most horrible man and both seemed 100% true. So both your thought and emotion are tremendous instruments of deception. They can make you believe just about anything.

Just look at your own beliefs – none of them will stand any kind of investigation. If I ask you three questions, your whole belief system will collapse. But your mind will make you believe different things at different stages in your life and firmly believe that is true.

So intensity means just going by the way of life. If you just exist here as life, pure life, it will naturally go to its ultimate nature. You are creating a huge hurdle in the process of life reaching its natural goal by becoming a thought, emotion, ideas, opinions, prejudices, anger, hatred and so many other things. If you just remain a piece of life, you will very naturally reach your ultimate nature.

—  Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev
Leading Suspects: Chapter 23

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22.

“Get up, Sleeping Beauty! The calvary will be here any minute now!”

“That makes no sense and is the most offensive thing you’ve ever said to me,” I groan and shove my head back under the blankets. Everything hurts and I’m not even hungover. I’m not ready to face anyone and I have no idea what the hell Johanna is talking about anyways. She might mean that Peeta’s finally sworn out a warrant for my arrest, but I doubt she’d be this excited about that since she hasn’t secured a raise yet. Really, I’m shocked that he still hasn’t dragged me or Madge or both of us down to the station in handcuffs.

Keep reading

It’s Always Been You PT.1

Summary: You and Bucky had instantly clicked as soon as you arrived at the Avengers Facility, and soon became best friends. He trusted you implicitly and ever since heard you sing, he felt himself falling faster as the days rolled on. So when you start to pull away from him, he feels betrayed and upset. Thinking it’s something to do with him and his past.

Little did he know that it was nothing to do with his past, but your shame in your body, your feelings of self-loathing, your ever growing love for your best friend.

Bucky + Plus Size Reader 

OOC Tony? Maybe?

STORY TW: Weight Issues, Fat Shaming, Swearing, Violence, Smut (Maybe? Idk yet)

CHAPTER TW: Weight Issues, Bullying, Swearing, Violence

Fluff & Angst

Part 2

Word count: 1413

A/N: So, this is my first fanfic/drabble/short story/imagine whatever you wanna call it. I love reading these and I thought I’d give writing one a go, so sorry if it’s horrible! Any tips or pointers would be MUCH appreciated! Especially on how to create a masterlist! I think this will be a series, because I have more ideas for where this story could lead! Thank you Dolls! - Rae xo

1: Beautiful Souls

               You woke up to the smell of freshly made pancakes seeping through the crack under your door, knowing exactly who was making your favourite breakfast. You stretched your aching muscles as you had gotten back from a mission yesterday and were ceased up. Without paying any mind to what you were, or weren’t wearing, you hopped out of bed, a smile plastered on your face as you happily plod through the corridor, following the scent all the way into the kitchen. You poured yourself a cup of coffee and grabbed a plate, tapping you foot and looking at your chef impatiently whilst waiting for your stack of fluffy pancakes.

“Bucky, hurry up please! They smell so good, I need them in me now” you pleaded, giggling. Your comment had caught him off guard and he nearly dropped the juice he was handing you on the floor.

“Really doll? You’re so fuckin impatient! They’re coming right up, take a seat” he chuckled, “Good Morning to you too by the way!” rolling his eyes dramatically, causing you to giggle again. He winks at you and turns his focus to the task at hand, putting his earphones back in. You can do nothing to stop a blush from creeping over your cheeks.

“Sorry, Good Morning bub” you smiled at him through your still sleepy eyes. Rubbing them awake, you take a look around the room to find everyone staring at you, no one saying a word. Their stare making you shuffle uncomfortably on the bar stool you were sat on. “What?” you asked innocently. You locked eyes with Tony and raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to say something, as you wanted an answer as to why all of the Avengers were speechless.

“Y/N, you might want to go get dressed, or at least cover yourself up for gods sakes” You looked down at what you were wearing, a tank top, and boy shorts. Looking up again, you noticed that Natasha was wearing almost the same outfit as you, and no one was telling her to cover up!

“Why? Nat’s wearing the same thing as me practically…” You countered, not expecting the answer you were about to receive.

“Well, it’s different for her, cause she-“ Tony said, before realising what he was saying, and cutting himself off before he really hurt your feelings.  You already knew what was coming from Stark, but you didn’t think he’d have the balls to say it to you, especially with Bucky standing right behind you. You glanced back, trying to grab Buck’s attention, but he was in his own little pancake making, music listening world. Looks like you’re alone in this one, Y/N,

“No Stark,” the venom in your voice almost poisonous, “please continue.”

Never being one to back down when challenged, he spat out, “Well, it’s different for her because she’s hot. We like seeing her half-naked” Smirking at you with a shit eating grin that you wanted to smack off his face, he continued, “But you? Seeing you like that, well, it’s enough to put anyone off their meal’ He huffed victoriously, knowing that his words had hurt you he leaned back in his seat. It normally wouldn’t affect you this way, but today, his words, combined with his slimy grin, cut you like a knife. Sam and Nat were quick to come to your rescue, telling him that he was way out of line, but you didn’t hear them, you were half way back to your room, determined to not let them see you cry.

Bucky span back round, beaming with the stack of pancakes in his hand, both falling when he saw the sight unfolding before him. Natasha had Tony by the throat against the wall, spitting Russian curse words into the billionaires face. He pushed himself in between them to break it up.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” his voice boomed, silencing everyone in the kitchen, and placing the fear of god into them, they all knew what Bucky was capable of when he was angry. He shared a murderous glance between the two fighting Avengers, “WELL?”

“Well, it’s her fault really. That fatass should have fucking known, no one wants to see that. It’s disgusting,” Stark knew that this would rile Natasha up again and she lunged for him, but Bucky had already beaten her to the punch, quite literally. He landed one straight in the middle of Tony’s face, breaking his nose and knocking him out instantaneously.

All you heard was a loud thud, someone running, and a fast knock on your door. You wiped your face of all evidence that you were crying before you allowed him in, knowing exactly who it was coming to check up on you. You felt the edge of the bed where you were sitting dip next to you.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry about him” Bucky looked at you, a mix of hurt and anger swirled in his ocean blue orbs. For a second you lost yourself in his beautiful eyes. The thought of him seeing you as nothing more than a friend through them made your heart break a little bit more.

“He’s right though Bucky. I am disgusting, I mean…just look at me,” you prodded your soft tummy. Stifling the sob threatening to escape your mouth and swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked at the floor, suddenly very interested in the carpet. You felt hideous, you felt repulsive and you felt astronomically ugly. “I’m worthless,” You whispered to yourself, barely audible. If Bucky’s senses weren’t as heightened as they are, he wouldn’t have heard you at all. He quickly pulled you into his side and you resisted the urge to sob into his embrace. He kept you like that for a while before turning you back to face him.

“Please angel, don’t talk about yourself in that way. You’re none of those things, Y/N. God I wish that you could see in yourself what everyone else sees in you. You’re beautiful, inside and out, You’re so dang talented and special! You kick ass and take names daily, you’re funny and kindhearted. You’ve helped me so much since you’ve been in my life, in ways that you can’t even imagine doll. I can’t even explain it’ his voice broke and you could see his eyes start to well up. What did you do to deserve this beautiful soul in your life? “So fuck Stark, and anyone else who has ever made you feel worthless, because you matter to me Y/N, so much. You’re invaluable angel. Come here.”

He pulled you into a tender yet firm embrace, it was as if he was trying to hug the bad feelings out of you, and you smiled into the fond moment the both of you were sharing.

“I’m gonna get back into bed Buck,” you whispered into him and Bucky pulled away, all too soon for your liking.

“OK, well, I’ll leave you to it then doll, if you need anything, just shout me, you know where I am.” As he was leaving, you called out to him,

“Buck, you wanna stay with me? I’m gonna watch Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives?” you bit your lip hopefully, knowing all too well that the offer of a cuddle and Guy Fieri was too good a situation for him to pass up.

“Shift up then angel, it’s time to take a trip into flavourtown,” he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously and practically launched himself onto your bed. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Bucky, and as you rolled your head back in laughter, you hit your head off the wall. Making you both laugh even more, as you rubbed your now sore head with a small scowl on your face. Looking at Bucky while he was being so carefree and happy, made your legs turn to jelly and you could feel the butterflies doing their familiar dance in your stomach. As you leaned into him, he kissed the top of your head softly and you smiled into him.

“So you kicked Starks ass then?” you suppressed a laugh.

“Of course I did! No-one talks about my angel like that!” he puffed his chest out in a proud and protective manner before pulling you closer into him. You blushed at his comment, but before you could enjoy that fact that he’d called you his, you felt a pang of sadness in your heart. ‘If only he meant it the way I want him to’ you thought.

If only…

jessicanjpa  asked:

Would you consider giving us a spoiler/sneak peek of the next TLP chapter? (don't if you don't want to, I just thought I'd ask) p.s. we miss you!

Hi! Of course! I’m really sorry I am so absent but my life is such a mess right now, my brother got in a bad car accident and I had to work in between and I’m moving soon, and I’m trying to crank in some writing when I can. Here’s a snippet from the enxt chapter, which will hopefully be up within the next week:

Before he could make sense of his confusion, a movement behind the door caught his attention, and the door opened in front of him. Claire stood in the doorway, hair in a disheveled bun, eyebrows raised questioningly. “I know this door is pretty, but you’ve been staring at it for a solid three minutes, and I was getting a little worried to be honest.”

He chuckled lightly. “I’m sorry. I was lost in thought, it seems.”

Carlisle made to move, but Claire raised her hand and narrowed her eyes. “Hold up, stop right there. I haven’t forgotten yesterday, so tell me: Who seeks entrance, Carrot Carlisle or Cupcake Cullen?” She stared at him suspiciously, but the left corner of her mouth wobbled slightly.  

He lifted the bag and the coffee in front of him and lowered his head slightly. “My sincerest apologies. I behaved horribly and I regret it immensely.“

She grinned brightly and took the bags from him. “Apology accepted,” she mumbled as she took a sip from the coffee, quickly followed by a muttered expletive as she promptly burned her mouth. Amused he watched her hoping from foot to foot to distract herself from the pain, and stepped past her inside the shop as she made way for him.

14.06.16 // my last ever revison session for a-levels

I had my last exam this morning!! It went fine and I’m just super super glad it’s all over :D I made this time lapse of me doing some practice questions yesterday, since I always find them super satisfying to watch, and I thought it would be a nice way to mark my last ever revision session!!

i. cannot believe it.

i actually made a walking animation for the sprite i created yesterday???? it works and doesn’t look horrible??? 

made pixel art for the first time, then animated something for the first time…… what the fuck. 

i’m on a roll¿


7x17 “The Born-Again Identity”
“Hey, I don’t trust you either, but I could really use Emmanuel and he trusts you. So for now it’s in everyone’s best interest to hold hands and cross the street together, okay?!”

For some reason yesterday I had to think about Meg. For one, because I always found her to be a really interesting and layered character, especially in the latter seasons when it seemed she had rekindled a little bit with her humanity and all. And while pondering about her arc I just kind of had to think about hers and Dean’s dynamic and how I kind of always could have imagined that Dean may have become a little like Meg had Cas not raised him before all of his humanity was burnt away.

And then, theeeeeeeeeeen I suddenly was caught on thinking and envisioning how Meg would have reacted to meeting Demon!Dean. And just… Ugh… It really may would have been a pretty amazing exchange. Tragic and horrific too, but also so very revealing.

Like… I can almost hear Meg’s voice saying something along the lines of “Look at you, Dean-o. Finally. Good to see that side of you again. It’s been too long. I always thought those pretty eyes of your looked better with a hint of black.” And there would have been so much room to allude to Dean’s time in hell and all that. And it would have been painful and horrible and scarring and scary, but damn, ever since yesterday I can’t shake the thought that a dialogue or meeting of Meg and Demon!Dean - both so very much rebelious against Crowley - would have made for great scenes. Demon!Dean meeting Ruby for that matter too actually…

Deaaaar peoplee hiii <3 Soo happy to be back,hope you all are good and having an amazing day! <3 I love you guys soooo much and enjoy :D And sorry for being so short :/ -Admin Kookie

Read previous parts:
Part 1 / 2 / 3

“I can’t let go” Jimin story - Part 4

Olivia and Chris were done with their project they had to do together.Nothing special happened between them.But Olivia started to like Chris because he looks like a really funny and sweet guy to hang out with.
Around 2AM Olivia slowly opened your guys bedroom door..She camed inside walking on her toes,left her stuff on the desk and then notice you in your bed and Jimin in her bed.
“Ah really?” she said to herself

She felt bad to wake up Jimin,so she can sleep in her bed.So she just took her phone and walked outside of the room and called Chris.
“Do you know where Jimin is?” he was worried
“Yeah,he’s sleeping in my bed..I think Jimin and Y/N hang out tonight..I don’t know” she said
“Ohh..I was really worried..”
“Chris,can i come over again and sleep in Jimin’s bed?”
“CHRIS obviously,Jimin is SLEEPING in MY bed” she said
“Ohh right…I forgot already *laughs* Okay,come over” Chris said
“Of course you did” she laughed and hang up and walked back to Chris’s and Jimin’s place

She walked inside again and Chris was laying in his bed already.
“What would they do?” he asked looking at her
“I don’t know Chris..But all I know they are getting close to each other” she lays on Jimin’s bed
“But like really close,seriously..They should get together already.It’s obvious they like each other” he laughs looking at Olivia
“Well yeah,I know…They are so dumb “ she laughs

Jimin woke up with a headache.His head hurt so much,he felt weak and not so well.
He opens his eyes and looks around the room.He looks to his right and there you were sleeping still.
Jimin observed you…The way you look so cute and just beautiful while sleeping.Your hair is messy,which made him laugh a little at you.

You moved to other side,still sleeping.Jimin was just laying down still looking at you.Even that his head hurt,throat a little and the way he was feeling like shit,still he wanted to wait till you wake up.

As the minutes passed,Jimin felt like he was feeling even worse.He hates being sick.
Olivia walked in and notices Jimin awake.
“Oh hi..You’re still here” she wispers sitting next to him
“Yes..Just waiting Y/N to wake up”  Jimin looked at her

Olivia gets closer to his face
“Are you okay? Because you don’t look okay” 
“Well I am not so okay…Just feeling little sick I guess” he looked around the room
“You are sick and in my bed? Oh hell noo Jimin” she said
“Sorry..I’ll go” Jimin got up and looked at you
“Why are you still here? I mean I don’t mind..Just-Yeah” Olivia smiled
“I…Um..Waited Y/N to wake up,but I guess she’s sleeping really good” 
“Well you can be here till she wakes up”
“You just said-”
“I was just joking” they were wispering to each other

Jimin’s head started to hurt more
“Oh God” he said putting his hand on his head
“You okay?”
“I am not feeling well..I’ll go..” he takes his phone and opens the door
“Bye,see you later..And rest” Olivia walked towards Jimin
Jimin slowly nodded his head and smiled walking away.

“OH YOU’RE HERE!” Chris shouted as Jimin walked inside
“Don’t shout,my head hurts” he said and layed on his bed
“You’re sick?”
“I don’t know..Just not feeling so well” Jimin closed his eyes
“Will you go to class today?” 
“Yeah,I’ll handle it” Jimin sighs

Later,you open your eyes and Olivia was close to your face,smiling at you.
You scream and move away from her.
“OLIVIA YOU ARE CREEPY!” you shout looking at her and she was just laughing
“It’s not funny at ALL!” you added
“Your…Your face..” Olivia couldn’t stop laughing

You sigh and roll your eyes..Then you look at her bed and Jimin wasn’t there.
“Jimin left?” you asked
“Yeah,he left like 30-40 minutes ago” she said standing up
“Oh…” you nodded your head and got up

You dressed up,put your hair in a messy bun,put on some makeup and you were ready for college.
You didn’t want to go so bad,but you had to.
“Coffee first?” Olivia smiled walking with you
“Always” you smiled

It was around 15 minutes till the class starts,so you sat down and just checked your phone..When you turn it on it was Jimin’s selfie.He took it few days ago and you didn’t even noticed he changed it.
You laugh looking at the picture.It looked like you guys are best friends or even something more.
“Y/N!” Olivia shouts and sits next to you
“What happened?” you were worried
“I forgot to ask you,why did even Jimin sleepover?” 
“I thought something was wrong!” you slap her arm
“I’m sorry” she laughed
“Umm…The weather was really bad yesterday,you know that…And umm you know I am scared of thunder storms and we were talking and everything cut off lights,signal…It was horrible then he camed over and made me feels safe” you explain the situation
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww” she raised her voice
“Shhhhhhhhh” you put your finger on her lips making her shut up because people were looking at you two
“Just get together already” she smiled and walked out

You laugh and get on your phone again.
Jimin walks in and puts his stuff down on the table and doesn’t even say anything.
“Hi” you said looking at him
“Hi” he looked at you then looked away

You thought he’s mad or he doesn’t want to talk to you.
It was bothering you so much,it drived you crazy..
During the class he didn’t look at you not even once.He puts his head back leaning back on the chair.
It was like he changed overnight.

After class Jimin just took his stuff and exit the classroom.You followed him and took his hand,making him stop.
“Jimin…What is going on?” you asked looking at him
“Nothing,I gotta go” he looked at you and put your hand away from his and walked away.

You stood there watching him leave.You wanted to cry for some reason,but it was stupid.
Few days passed and Jimin didn’t come to classes at all.He didn’t asnwer your phone calls,texts..You were really worried.
Chris wouldn’t tell you anything,he would just eat food and hang out with Olivia.

Finally next day,you decided to go check up on Jimin.YOu just needed to know where he is.
You walked outside during a big break,there was no sign of Jimin,but you spot Chris eating,alone,finally.
“Hey Chris,where’s Jimin?” you said
“I don’t know tho…If he’s not at college,he’s probably at the room” he smiled
“Thanks” you said and walked away

You couldn’t wait till all the classes end..So you can go check on Jimin.Something was wrong,that is not Jimin you used to know.
“I can’t right now,I’ll talk to you later” you said,cutting off Olivia and walking faster to Jimin’s room.

When you arrived,you knock on the door and no answer.
You knock again,nothing.
You call Jimin and you can hear his phone from the inside.
“Jimin open up” you said

Slowly Jimin opens the door looking at your eyes.He wasn’t good,he was looking horrible..
“Jimin” you said and he steps back letting you in.
You looked at him closely..He layed on his bed,looking at you.
“I am sick” he said
“I can see that..Why didn’t you respond to anything?” you said
“I can’t,I am not in a mood for anything…”

You sat next to him and looked at him.
He slowly moves his hand on yours,and takes it.You look at the hand then back at him.
“And..I am sorry for being an asshole the other day” 
You smile at him
“It’s okay,I mean I was worried why were you mad at me”
“I wasn’t mad,it was just that I hate being sick and then I am not so happy about anything” he explains
“Oh” you nodded your head
“I saw you put up yourself as my cover photo on my phone” you laugh

Jimin laughs a little at you.
“Well like you don’t want my picture” 
“Well I really do like it” you smile at him
“You like me too” he smiled biting his lip,your heart right away skips a beat
“You like me too” you point at him smiling
“That is true” he said

You smiled..
“Imma take care of you” you stood up
“Y/N don’t try to avoid the situatiooooon” Jimin notices 
“What are you talking about?” you laughed
“I am not avoiding anything” you added looking at his beautiful brown eyes
“Right,you aren’t” he shakes his head gently, smiling at you

You stayed with Jimin whole time that day.You brought him food,drinks and just simple stuff he needed.
“Wanna take a selfie?” you asked looking at him
“But I am sick and then you’ll get sick” Jimin caughs few times
“I don’t care” you laugh
“Okay” Jimin smiled

You layed next to him,closer a little.Jimin smiled looking at you as you layed down.
“Wait” he said
“Lift your head up” he added,you did that and he puts his arm under your head and you lay your head on his muscles
“Comfortable?” he smiled looking at your eyes then at your lips,which you noticed
“Yeah” you smiled and click on a camera and put the phone away from you guys and take few selfies with him.

After checking the photos,you were still laying on his arm and your bodies were close to each other.
“If you didn’t come up to me,we wouldn’t be doing this now” you look at him
“What you were shy?”
“I still am..I mean I am that kind of person” you smile
“Well I noticed that” he laughs

After his laugh,you two stared at each other…The situation got heated up..You felt fire inside of your body,so did Jimin.
You guys never looked at each other like that.
Jimin looked down at your lips then at you,and repeated that few times while leaning in..
Your lips were inches apart
“I AM HOME-OH SHIT” Chris walks in

You get up and feel really awkward and shy.Jimin tried to pretend like nothing happened.
“Were..YOU guys about to KISS?” Chris smiled poiting at you two
“N-noooo” both of you say in same time and then look at each other

You smiled and bit your lip
“I gotta goo..See you later” you said walking pass Chris

When you camed back to your room,as soon as you closed your door you slide down and sit on the floor with your back against the door.
“Oh my…GOD” you said thinking about how Jimin and you almost kissing each other
You couldn’t stop smiling…You felt so excited,happy and you just couldn’t express how you felt now.

Jimin on other side,did the same thing.
“You always have to ruin stuff” he shouts at Chris
“I am sorry”
“But we were so..Close” Jimin smiled licking his lips
“Chris,you gotta be cool and gentle yo” he laughs
“Whatever” he rolls his eyes
“AHHHHH” Jimin couldn’t stop thinking about you
“Just stop fangirling so much and think how you guys will kiss soon”

Jimin just looks at Chris and smiles.
“I want to kiss her so bad”
“She’s…Driving me craaazy” 
“Jimin..I know all of those stuff already!” Chris laughs at Jimin


Hellooo lol i’ve made this blog like years ago but only started using for about more than 2 years? anyway, yea, i’ve been wanting to make one but i suck at editing and too lazy to think of an idea pfft ik sorry. and i finally made it dun dundun (look above^) ik the cutting is horrible rofl (and obviously, those are my ultimate biases). 

Anyway(pt.2), I want to thank all of you followers, those who followed since my reblogging days or since my heirs gifs days(lol) or since got7 debut days, or even yesterday to today. Learning photoshop while making gifs or edits is really fun, i never thought i would ever touch this program even though it’s on my computer lol and I get happy when ppl send me compliments haha i love you all

These blogs that make my dash beautiful full of my bbs;;; i’m following 99 blogs atm #powerof9, but I won’t list all. 

marktherapper, yoontaeny, got7virtues, taengtoro, tiffiana, jaebuming, jaebumssi, 2pmj, tuansandwich, got7-jb, tupiem, ggoh, dandyjinyoung, 1400hrs, my-j, marktuat, jackseonwang, ot9s, seul-g, gotsoshi, sexyhoneythighs, ohmy-goddess, markjestic, jackseons, bambeombaem-baem, markyien, choijaes, ivegot7, markjin, eventvr, got7, b2pmgg, telepany, itjuneos, cnbluemakesmehigh, minyuukk, krystals, kidjin, taecyonie, bastardfeels, yadongs, fanytastic09, taecyeon-1, he0t4kimtaeism, jiyeon-jjang, itsjaebeom, soshiplanet, beautifulgeneration, xiucon, kimjhyun, generationofnine, stepbystephwangtaekyeonie, taengisc, j7ckson, infinitytearstaec-yeon, woojuyu, foryourwish, wooso, wonderwatermelon, 2pmisthebest, hotwalkin, jimseung-dols, itsallabout2pm, oneday-everlasting.

fuckyeah-gotsevenfuckyeahjangwooyoung, fyjunhofy-got7fuckyeahjun-k, fykhun, fyeah-marktuan, fyeahtaec, fychansung

Lying (Part 2) // 4/4 5SOS Preference

Read Part 1: here



When Calum had left you didn’t know what to do. You needed someone to talk to and to explain everything because you couldn’t keep this all building up inside you. Without hesitation you called up your best friend. After explaining the whole situation to her, you were called you talked to her.

“Look, you just have to confront him. You can’t avoid something like this. It’s too big to just brush off and wait for him to come around. You need to tell him what you think and talk to him about your future. If you two don’t agree then you just have to think about what is best for the kid and for yourself. Okay?”

Your mind was running crazy after the advice your best friend left you with. You hadn’t noticed when Calum came home the next afternoon. He somehow managed to take a nap next to you without waking you up. When you noticed his arms slightly wrapped around you, you felt a little upset.

You quickly pushed him away and walked over to your bathroom. After washing your face to wake yourself up a little you looked at yourself in the mirror. You were just thinking of what to say.

“Y/N! Hey! Are you alright?” Cal banged on the door urgently.

Your eyes widened and you quickly composed yourself. He continued knocking the door until you opened it.

“What are you banging on the door for?” You snapped.

“When you rushed out of bed I thought something happened. I wanted to see if you’re okay.” He replied.

“Oh.” You said softly. You didn’t feel as angry and just stared at him. He looked beyond tired and probably overthinking as much as you. He moved aside to let you walk out of the bathroom but stayed close by your side. “Cal?”

“Yeah?” His head quickly snapped up to look at you. His eyes searched your face just in case he understood why you sounded so upset.

“I um… I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” You mumbled.


You didn’t know how to tell him so you bluntly said, “I overheard you on the phone to Mikey yesterday. I know you don’t want the kid.”

His facial expression changed suddenly. He looked scared for a moment. “Y/N…”

“Look Cal, I really don’t know what to do. I’m scared shitless right now. I just want to know if you’re gonna be here for me or not. That’s all I want to know. Because from what you said yesterday, it sounds like you don’t want to be.” You said quickly.

“Hey Y/N, hear me out okay?” Cal pleaded. “I know what I said yesterday was horrible and you probably thought the worst of me. But I talked to Michael last night and he made me realise that what I was thinking was completely stupid. I care so much for you. I love you, okay? And that fact that you’re having my kid made me love you more. Because I can’t fucking imagine having a future with anyone but you.”

You were so scared still. “But… but what if you have doubts again? I can’t do this alone Cal, I can’t….” Your voice broke at the end of the sentence and you found yourself wiping away tears from your cheek.

Immediately Cal brought you closer to him and rubbed your back, soothing you. “Hey shhh… You’re not going to go through this alone. You’re not going to go through anything alone. Remember that.” His palms brought up your face to look at his. His thumbs brushed against your cheeks and he smiled down at you. “I love you. And I want to be with you and this kid. I want to be by your side. Always.”

He kissed you sweetly and you smiled against his lips. “I love you too.”


To say that the phone call ruined your night would be an understatement. When you went back to your friends you decided to shrug it off and enjoy the rest of the night. It was like that until your friends wanted to go somewhere else for the night. You were reminded that your husband was at home with the kids who could have been potentially injured. You quickly told your friends your situation and they encouraged you to just go home. They promised to go out together another time.

The sound of your keys was the only sound you heard when you entered your home. The house was pitch black except for the dim light upstairs. You quietly walked towards it and you suddenly felt guilty for snapping at Mikey.

The sight warmed your heart. Mikey had Charlie’s head rested on his shoulder while she slept. He gave Logan a quick kiss on the forehead and said goodnight. You watched as Mikey bounced slightly to keep Charlie in her slumber. He spotted you from the corner of his eye and gave you a guilty smile.

“I am so sorry and-“

You cut him off. “Shh, you’re gonna wake her up.” You whispered. You went over to them and pressed your palm lightly over your sleeping baby’s face.

“I’m so sorry for messing up tonight.” He said in a much quieter voice.

You just shook your head and made him follow you to her crib. You watched as he carefully laid her down and realised these were moments you needed. You shouldn’t be arguing and annoyed over stupid things, you should be enjoying them time you have while Michael was away.

When Mikey walked over to you, you placed his face in your hands and kissed him. “I missed having you home.” You said against his lips.

He leaned his forehead against yours and smiled. “I missed this too.”

His arms wrapped easily around you and you smiled back up at him. “I’m sorry if I seemed mad before.”

Mikey just chuckled and kissed your forehead lightly. “Don’t worry, I knew you weren’t really. You can’t stay mad at me.”

You nudged him but giggled. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

You hadn’t slept that peacefully like that night in a while. You fell asleep with your head tucked under his chin and each other’s arms wrapped around, like you were scared to let go. But when he kissed your lips just before you drifted off to sleep you couldn’t feel any safer than this.


Luke was driving towards the venue, you thought he was thinking it was some cute weekend getaway that you had wanted for a while. He seemed a bit agitated so you commented on it.

“Luke, are you alright?” You asked.

It took him a few moments before he blinked and said, “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

You gave a nervous laugh. “That didn’t sound like you were fine.”

He nodded before saying, “I just… I’ve got to tell you something okay? When we get to that place I’ll tell you.”

When you and Luke had arrived at the venue, you were getting excited. You even noticed Luke’s mood change slightly. You had texted Michael that you and Luke finally arrived and he had told you that everything on their end was prepared. Right before you opened the doors for Luke to be greeted by everyone, Luke pulled you aside.

“I feel really bad.” He said in a rushed tone.

“What for?” You were beginning to get worried now.

He rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip. You could tell he was trying to figure out what to say next. “You know that afternoon when you forgot to pick me up? And you said you were with Y/F/N?”

“Yeah…? Luke what does this-“

“Just wait a sec while I explain.” He interrupted. “So that afternoon I was worried why you were late. I called up Y/F/N to see where you were, but she said you weren’t with her that afternoon. So when we got home I was really worried. I started to think about all these things, like why were you lying to me? What couldn’t you tell me?”

You were confused to where he was going with this.

“When you were busy doing something else, I snooped through your phone. I don’t know why  I did, I just thought these horrible things and then when I read through your messages with Ash I just felt so guilty that I didn’t trust you. And then I didn’t know how to tell you that I ruined your surprise and didn’t trust you at all.”

Maybe because you were short on time and there were over a few hundred people behind the door next to you. Or maybe it was because you just didn’t understand Luke at that moment. But you snapped at him.

“I don’t know what gave you the right to think that you could just go through my phone. Look, there is a party on the other side of this door. I’ll pretend that I’m not furious with right now and you’ll pretend that you never knew there was a surprise party.” You narrowed your eyes. “What did you think I was up to anyway?”

“I just thought… I don’t know… I thought you were cheating on me or something.” He mumbled.

“I honestly can’t believe you right now.” You muttered. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off quickly. “Just do as I said before. I’ve planned this for far too long for it to be ruined by you.”

Without hesitation you went and opened the doors with a fake smile. Just moments later Luke was bombarded with a huge surprise greeting and after introducing him to his party you quickly fell within the crowd. You tried to keep your interaction with Luke to the minimum by talking to the guests and keeping yourself busy with running the party smoothly. Luke was a little anxious with you avoiding him so he took it upon himself to grab your attention.

“Hey guys!” Luke said happily into a microphone someone had handed to him. “I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight, it honestly means a lot. I’d also like to thank my amazing girlfriend for setting this all up.” He gave you a small smile which you couldn’t help but return. When everyone in the room was finished cheering and clapping, Luke made his way over to you.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

You laughed a little when he was surprised that your arms wrapped around his waist and your head rested under his chin. “I know you are.”

His arms hesitantly wrapped around you. “I really really am sorry.”

“Oh god you’re so stupid.” You laughed. “But I want you to know, that I would never cheat on you. Trust me, please.”

He kissed your forehead lightly. “I promise.”

“That’s all I want.” You hummed lightly as he swayed you slowly in the hug.

You smiled against his chest and he couldn’t fight his smile while he looked down with you in his arms.


When Calum knocked on your door one day, you were confused to say the least. He seemed nervous and possibly scared. You didn’t know why he was even in the city.

“Aren’t you supposed to be back next week? Where’s Ashton if you’re home already?” You asked when he paced around your lounge room.

“That’s uh… that’s what I came here to talk about.” Cal muttered.

“Look Cal, you’re freaking me out. What’s wrong?” You said.

He stopped pacing and there was this sad look on his face that made you feel sick. “I’m so sorry Y/N.” He was silent for a moment before he sighed and sat next to you. “Ash… Ashton isn’t… he… Look, it’s been a while since I’ve been meaning to tell you this. I feel like shit because you’re my friend but he’s my best friend. But I have to tell you because you deserve to know, you deserve to be happy. Ashton… he’s seeing another girl.”

Your silence scared him. You just stared blankly at Cal.

“Did you hear… did you? Ashton is cheating on you Y/N. And it’s been going on for a couple of months now. We’ve been back in the city for about two weeks now but he didn’t want us to visit you ‘cause then you’d ask questions.” Cal continued to explain. “He’s still in London with that girl.” He said with a disgusted tone.  

“And he’s going to come back next week?” You said softly, scared that your voice would sound so weak.

You didn’t know what to think. You didn’t know if you were angry, if you were confused, if you were tired. Or maybe you were all of the above. Cal just stared at you in shock.

“I just told you that your fiancé is cheating on you, and you’re just worried about his arrival?!” Cal asked exasperatedly.

You didn’t mean to snap back so harshly, but you did. “Of course I’m worried when he’s coming back home. Because I need to leave! I can’t stay here Cal. I can’t. Everything here it’s…”

You couldn’t finish your sentence because that’s when you were finally feeling everything. You broke down. You sobbed uncontrollably and Cal let you cry on his shoulder. He felt so bad for you. Even though Ashton was his best friend, he couldn’t believe he could treat you like this.

“I have to leave…” You whispered to Cal. “But I need to talk to him.”

“Shh, of course Y/N.” Cal said. “Look, when he comes back home talk to him. Leave him if you can. The other two boys and I will help you. You deserve to be happy.”

You gave him a sad smile.

Even with a week before Ash came home, you could never be prepared to face him. Ash had taken care of you since the day you two met. He loved you when you felt no one would. He was your world. And now it was crashing down to the ground.

“Y/N! Babe, I’m back!” You heard him call cheerily from the front door. His voice now just made you sick. “Y/N? Why is everything gone? C’mon babe, you’re scaring me.”

You walked into the room and his eyes instantly found you. Though there was confusion his face, he immediately lit up. You hated how easily he acted around you, like he wasn’t somewhere in the world fucking another girl. He quickly rushed over to you and pulled you into a bone crushing hug.

“I’ve missed you so much.” His breath ticked your neck. You hated how you still felt special in his arms. But you knew there was someone out there who felt the exact same thing with Ash.

The lack of affection you had shown since his arrival confused him. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You took a few deep breaths before replying. You were glad your voice was strong. “I’m leaving.”

He stared at you seriously for a moment before cracking a smile. “C’mon, don’t joke with me now.” But when he noticed how serious you were he frantically began to look around. He noticed the empty tables that no longer had your photo frames on them. He noticed all your CDs and DVDs weren’t stacked next to the TV. “Why are you doing this Y/N?” He sounded so scared, so broken.

You started to get mad. He had no right to blame you. “Why am I leaving? Well, maybe it’s to do with the love of my life fucking someone else while he’s away for ‘work’. Maybe that’s why!”

The moment his eyes widened, you knew he understood. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t-“

“Cut the bullshit Ashton! I’m so sick and tired of being lied to.” You didn’t want to cry in front of him, but you couldn’t help it. “Was this a lie to? Did you really mean it?” You had taken the ring off your left hand. “I fucking loved you!”

“Y/N please listen to me. I need to explain-“ Ash spoke.

“No, you do not get to explain and have a chance to reel me back in with your words. You’re so good with your words, so good with twisting them and lying straight to my face.” You slowly walked up to him and watched as be begun to break.

“Y/N, please…don’t go…I need you.” He said softly.

You pushed the ring into his palm. He looked utterly speechless. “I’m leaving. I’m not coming back. You’re never going to hear from me ever. Don’t ever try to talk to me, to find me.”

He stood still but his eyes watched as you took a bag and went to leave through the door he had just entered. Just before you left you spoke, your voice weak.

“I deserve to be happy Ashton. I deserve something better that this. I deserve better.”

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on some certain ableist "slurs" like lame and stupid? I was told by an able-minded neurotypical yesterday that these words were bad and that I should be ashamed to use them-- but should I really? Language policing activism has never helped me before; what does help is lessening stigma and barriers to health care. Idk, this whole thing has made me fall into a low mood and distressed slump. I feel like a horrible person, and I still don't know what is right.

(I would also like to add that the person who called me out is also able-bodied. Just a fyi and a heads up. Sorry for not clarifying earlier!)

I think most people can tell the difference between an insult—especially an insult to them or to someone who can’t defend themselves—and another use of a word that is not insulting anyone but rather a genuine expression of a person’s real feelings.

In my opinion, people who attack others for using the “wrong words” seem to want to just shut down any voices that are not part of their little in-groups. And the “go kill yourself” rhetoric with which some people are attacked just for saying, “I feel so stupid today” is just plain vicious.

Not to mention, long lists of Good Words and Bad Words can trigger obsessive behaviors in some people and social avoidance in some other people.

Everybody just needs to chill.


You know what I noticed?

Everything that my anxiety told me I couldn’t do, I actually did do it, and well:

  • One semester of college I thought I was going to get bad grades but I actually made Dean’s List.
  • I thought I couldn’t work last summer but I got a fellowship and lived on campus.
  • I thought I couldn’t make any new friend but I’ve made 2 awesome new friends since having anxiety.
  • I thought I wasn’t going to finish off my Fall semester because of all the classes I missed but I got help from the Disability center.
  • Yesterday I was dreading my boyfriend’s graduation but I went and I was fine.
  • On May 10th, I will be receiving my bachelor’s degree in Sociology. Right now it seems impossible but I will walk across that stage.

I just want all of you to know that anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses create these horrible barriers in our mind but we are stronger than we think! I had the strength to make it through all of these despite my mental illness and you can too. Anyone have anything difficult coming up? 

The Park - Part 1

Thanks again to everyone for the likes, reblogs and comments on my last effort. Also for a couple of special lovelies that messaged me to say they liked my stories and wanted me to continue - thanks so much. I have confidence issues and those messages made me really happy.

All previous fics are here; Ramblings

This bunch of beautiful peeps volunteered to be permanently bombarded with my brain vomit; i-dream-of-emus finnnelsonpls ililypop  mirandasmadeofstone kneekeyta tinakegg  @idontneedamoralcompass and mmfdfanfic - never fear you can opt out at any time!

And a big, big, big, big thanks to the wonderful Dana AKA nemo-miracle-grow for casting her magic on my ramblings and transforming them into something much more coherent:-

The Park

Muttering to yourself is never a good idea. Rae is sure of this. If she carries on she’ll be carted straight back to the looney bin. Although, in her opinion, this might be a good thing. She’d be back in the loving comfort of her friend Tixy instead of fretting about her forthcoming meeting with Chloe.  

Keep reading

Unfiltered so you can see how raw I feel.

Just had my first panic attack in 3 years. So that was special. I feel empty right now. I feel like I have nothing to give tomorrow. I know it’s there somewhere, enough to get by. But I’m going to struggle. And it’s possible that I’ll be involved in a confrontation tomorrow leftover from some decisions I made yesterday. Decisions to advocate for my patient that I stand by.

I know it was only 2 (extremely) hard days at work. But each day was 13.5 hours of stress. I don’t know if people truly appreciate the amount of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual strain even a regular day has on a nurse. A horrible day is so much more than that. You feel guilty, inadequate, exhausted, fearful.

So the thought of going back tomorrow makes me stomach turn. I know I have to, but it’s going to take all my effort to get through it.

But get through it, I will.

Feelings - Part Two - Luke Hemmings

“I woke up at about 11 the next morning to the smell of pancakes coming from the Kitchen. I fixed myself up and grabbed my dressing gown and heading towards the kitchen ready for my breakfast and to talk to Luke about how I was feeling.

“Good Morning!” Luke cheered with a huge grin on his face whilst placing a plate of pancakes in front of you as you sat down. You hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time and it was defiantly a nice thing to wake up to.

“Someones looking very happy this morning”

“Well I’ve got my best friend and a plate of pancakes, whats there not to be happy about!” He sat down opposite you with his plate of pancakes and began tucking in.

“So I take it your totally okay with the whole you and Annie thing then.”

“Yeah, I’m just annoyed at myself for being so blind.”

“Well don’t be and anyway we are going to Calums today so you better eat up and get ready.”

How where you going to talk to him. He was your best friend and you didn’t want to loose him but you didn’t know if you could go on knowing that every second you spend with him your feelings just grew.

7 Hours Later

You were sat in Calums back garden with the boys, a couple of their girl friends and a few other friends. You had just finished a Barque and were now onto roasting marshmallows and talking. You and Luke had been inseparable all day and you really liked getting to spend time with him again. You were yet to tell him about the way you feel and you couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Luke please can we go for a walk, the smoke from the fire is starting to give me a headache.” You lied 

“Sure, come on.” He said jumping up and grabbing your hand before informing Calum where you two were going. He lead you through the house and out the front door and you began walking in the direction of the beach.

 “Luke there is something I want to talk to you about.” You started

“Sure are you okay?” He asked still holding your hand.

“Yeah I’m fine it’s just that I haven’t stopped thinking about what you said yesterday.”

“What did I say yesterday?”

“You said that ‘if it was you that I was dating’ and ever since its made me think about me and you and what it actually would be like if me and you became more then just friends.”

“Y/N yesterday when i said that I had only just realized how horrible she was I was lying, I’d kind of always known it but I looked past it.”

“Why? Why would you be with somebody that would treat your friends like that and make you distance yourself from them.”

“Because I was too scared to tell the girl I really liked that I liked her and I thought that it might destroy our friendship so I got into a relationship with a girl that destroyed it anyway. It wasn’t until last night that I realized that I was loosing you and that I didn’t ever want to loose you. So, I left and I’ve been trying to rebuild our friendship and every second that I spend with you I just want to kiss you and tell you exactly how I feel. ” 

“So why don’t you?”  Before you could even finish you sentence Luke had grabbed you by the waist pulled you towards him and kissed you in the middle of the street.

“I like you Y/N. I really like you and you make me happy. I want to be your boyfriend and I want to be able to wake up every morning  with you and cook you breakfast. Y/N Y/L/N please be my girl friend”

You didn’t even answer you just pulled him close and kissed him.

“I take that as a yes then.” Luke smiled

“It’s a yes.” You giggled

Part 1



Tall Boy with the Beautiful Smile,

I apologize for being so horribly awkward yesterday. It’s just that I don’t get asked for my number often, and when you of all people asked me, I admit I thought maybe it was a joke or something. Things like this don’t usually happen to girls like me. 

Thanks for texting me. It made my day.

-The Short Girl