i made this while very drunk

justice league final tally

+ 1 point for having a comprehensible plot unlike badman vs stupidman

+ 1 point for being technically more of a movie than bagman something superman

- 10 points for continuous Wonder Woman upskirt shots

- 10 points for wonder woman’s panties in the first scene she shows up in

+ 3 points for cyborg have a coherent personal arc with emotional beats that sort of work unlike everyone else in this movie

- 3 points for never fully explaining what aquaman is doing her and trying to cram his entire character into like 2 scenes

+ 1 point for the gag where Wonder Woman puts her lasso in aquaman kind of Landing or maybe I’m just that drunk

+ 2 points for Batman being in love with super man?

+ 10 points for the goofy visual of Superman’s shitty naked cgi rag doll body floating in the sky in that one scene

- 1 point for every line that was obviously penned by or derived by joss wherein

- 5 points for worlds least interesting villain

+5 points for worlds least interesting villain looking exactly like the bull guy who schtups the freddie mercury wizard in dragon age

- 2 points for every time they reuse the gag where all of the justice league is looking cool and dramatic but the flash is making a funny face

- 747362637848494 points for affleck being an ok batman but a terrible person

+ 5 points for Batman’s mask being comically too small for Ben Affleck face

+ 15 points for more bitchy effete Jeremy irons Alfred than the last movie

- 10 points for every scene where they want to reference the Wonder Woman movie because it’s the only dcu movie that’s considered good but the only thing whedon & Snyder can remember about it is that Chris Pine died and that made Diana sad

- 10 points for “Diana is the HEEEAAART of the league”

+ 1 point for the flash and cyborg making conversation while digging up dead superman. That’s charming

???????? Points For no one uttering the name “Martha” even once. Cowards

- 55555555555 points for the very concept of hiring both Zack Snyder and joss whedon (½ of the horsemen of the apocalypse) for the same movie

- 7 points for the fact that the upcoming tomb raider movie I saw a trailer for appears to be following the same plot as the horrid 2013 “Egregious Lara Croft Torture Porn” game


I’m too drunk to do math

Kick me and my kids out after 2 years of me taking your abuse just to move in your new girlfriend? Hope y'all like crickets serenading you as you try to sleep.

The title says it all for the most part. I stood up to his abuse, and he disclosed to me that he wanted me and my kids to move out immediately so he could move in his new gf. Now, I like to end my relationships amicably.  I am friends with a few of my exes. This one, however, has been a weapons grade douchebag to me for a couple of years and then threw me and my children out suddenly with nothing but the clothes on my our backs and made a few choice death threats to me. Don’t worry, the police are involved. Well, a few hours earlier I went with a police escort to gather the rest of mine and my children’s belongings. He was sitting on the couch with his new gf, both drunk af. The officer stayed with them. I went to what used to be our bedroom, packed my belongings quickly, packed my children’s things, then released 100 crickets under his bed, in his closet, in his dressers, and in what used to be the childrens’ bedroom. I made sure there were more male crickets than female, so they’ll be noisy as all hell while attempting to find a mate, and these little buggers will eat anything, wood, clothing, and they’re very good at hiding during the day.

Good luck with your new gf, and have fun trying to get rid of your new-found cricket infestation.

miraculouslydottedcat  asked:

How about “Must be a day ending in y."  for one of your fabulous Drarry prompts

“Hermione, I don’t know if this is such a good idea-” Harry started.
“Oh, do be quiet. We’re trying to promote unity; what better way to do it than a Halloween party? Besides, it’ll be great to see everyone again.”

Harry could think of a million different ways that would be better than a Halloween party. But he knew there was no arguing once Hermione had made up her mind so he kept them to himself. After all, it couldn’t be that bad, right?
Harry stared at the pile of tan colored clothes sitting on his bed.
“Er, what exactly am I supposed to be?” he asked, carefully picking up the outfit.
“A ghostbuster,” Hermione said simply. Harry raised his eyebrows in confusion.
“Oh honestly, the Muggle movie, you know? These guys decide to set up a ghost removal service-”

“But I thought Muggles didn’t believe in that sort of stuff.”
“Typically, they don’t. Which is why Halloween for them is all about the supernatural and things they don’t understand.”
“I thought it was to dress up and get candy-”
“Harry! Just go put it on, we’re going to be late. Ron and I will meet you there,” she yelled, shoving Harry into the bathroom.

~~~
Harry felt like an idiot. A lonely ghostbuster, whatever that was, in the corner watching as his friends had fun on the dance floor. Ron and Hermione dressed as ghostbusters too but it didn’t quite work when they spent their time together and not with Harry.

It wasn’t like Harry wasn’t getting any attention. Of course he had people trying to ask him about the war or Voldemort, but Harry was used to that and he’d taken to shooing them away with part of his costume, something like a proton gun.
As more and more people arrived, the dance floor became so packed that Harry could no longer see his friends, so he decided to head over to the bar, taking a seat next to a white sheet.

“Firewhiskey for me please, just keep them coming,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. The bartender seemed to be in awe but luckily didn’t say anything. Harry glanced over at the sheet. That person must be dressed as a ghost.
“Hey. Do you need some, er, busting?” he asked, trying to make conversation. The ghost jerked upright as if they’d been asleep. “Oh trust me, I need plenty of busting,” the ghost giggled with a familiar voice before turning toward Harry and gasping.

“Wait, who’s under there? You sound familiar-”
“Potter! Oh look it’s precious, pretty Potter!” yelled the ghost as a pale hand came out to punch Harry in the chest. Suddenly the sheet was gone and Harry was left staring at Draco Malfoy, clad in a cape, fangs and blood. Wait, was that real blood?
“Oh. Hey, Malfoy?” Harry hadn’t meant for the name to sound like a question. “Are you okay?” he asked carefully as Malfoy continued to stare at him with a goofy grin, exposing his fangs.
“Oh, my dear, how could anyone not be okay around YOU?” he asked, forcefully poking Harry’s cheek as he almost fell off the stool.

“Malfoy, how much have you had to drink?” Malfoy waved his hand dismissively. “You know, Potty-Potter, didn’t expect to see you here, looking so good, oh but of course you would. Hey, why ya covered in blood?”
Harry looked down in a panic before remembering Seamus had dumped a bucket of fake blood on him about half an hour ago. At least, Harry hoped it had been fake. Seamus never really answered that question. However, Harry was more concerned about the fact that it sounded as though Malfoy just gave him a compliment.

“Seamus,” he answered. “Oooh! I must owl him then, because you look delicious,” Malfoy licked his lips as his eyes traveled down Harry’s body. What was Malfoy doing? He’d only ever seen that look on a person when Ron was about to devour a chicken leg.
“Er, you’re not like a…real vampire now, are you?” That made Malfoy laugh so hard he actually did fall off the stool and onto Harry’s chest. “Silly Potter, no. It’s you that looks delicious.”
“Yeah but-”
“All the time,” Malfoy purred, “You know I’ve had a thing for you for years?” he asked, absently tracing circles on Harry’s chest.

“Yeah?” Harry croaked, swallowing hard.
“Oh, yeah,” Malfoy smiled as he looked up at Harry, still crumpled in his arms. It was probably a good thing they were both already covered in blood.
“You’re plastered.”
“Indeed,” Malfoy’s smile turned wicked.
“So you don’t know what you’re saying! You-you hate me!” Harry finally let go of Malfoy, carefully setting him back on the stool.
“Is this just some kind of joke for today? To see how I’d react?”

Malfoy’s smile faltered, “Oh no, love. Tell me, what day is it?”
Harry stared at the glass in his hand, “Er, must be a day ending in y.”
He’d had 3 drinks already since this conversation began and he was beginning to think that he was getting drunk too.
“Well,” Malfoy purred, leaning close to Harry again, “Must be a day ending in y, that I’ll love you.”
Harry froze. The first time anyone had ever said those words to him, came from the mouth of his drunk ex-nemesis. Why couldn’t he have a normal life? Although he couldn’t deny the way his heart clenched at the confession.

“That’s it, Malfoy. You need to leave.” He tried to haul Malfoy up but he banged his fist on the counter.
“No, Potterrr! ’M not done drinkin!”
“You are now,” he growled, making Malfoy shiver, “I’m getting you out of here.”
“Oh, yours or mine?” he winked.
“You don’t even know what you’re saying right now. Come on, I’ll take you to mine. I don’t trust that you’d be able to remember where you live, let alone apparate there.”
Harry slung one of Malfoy’s arms across his shoulders, and they headed toward the door, where he caught sight of Ron and Hermione before leaving. Ron looked like he might burst into flames while Hermione just gave them a smile before he dragged Malfoy out of the club.


He led Malfoy to a dark alley where they could apparate but Malfoy let go of his shoulders when they arrived.
“Is this your house, Potter? My, my, it’s not what I pictured but it certainly is…pretty. Let’s get on with it, shall we?” he left no time for Harry to even wonder what it was before Malfoy lunged at him, falling to the ground when Harry moved away.
“Oh, you want me down here then? Potty doesn’t like foreplay, I presume.”
“How are you still so articulate when you’re this drunk?” He fell silent as Malfoy crawled toward him, sitting up and nuzzling Harry’s thigh with his cheek. Harry suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe; everything got so much tighter.
“Why so tense, Potter?” Malfoy purred.

Harry groaned quietly before yanking Malfoy up by the arm. “Listen. We haven’t even apparated yet, we’re standing in an alleyway. I want you to grab my shoulders like before and I’m going to grab your waist to make sure you don’t splinch yourself. Got it?”
Malfoy nodded vigorously as Harry wrapped an arm around him and they disappeared.

As soon as they landed in Harry’s flat, Malfoy pressed Harry against his front door and kissed him hard. Harry froze, his lips unmoving, still gripping Malfoy’s waist. Regaining his senses, he broke the kiss.
“What?” Malfoy panted.
“I can’t. You-you’re drunk, it wouldn’t be right-”
Malfoy stepped closer.
“Yes, you can. And if I remember correctly, you had at least four glasses of firewhiskey while talking to me. Besides,” he leaned in to whisper in Harry’s ear, “I think it would be very right. I think it would be the first right choice I ever made. In fact, I think it would be,” he slowly moved his head, “perfect,” he whispered against Harry’s lips.

“Fuck,” Harry murmured, gripping Malfoy’s hips and pulling him in for a desperate kiss. Malfoy tasted like Firewhiskey, hot and bitter, but there was also a hint of sweetness. Malfoy didn’t kiss like a drunk person, he kissed Harry deeply and passionately and as much as it felt like fighting it felt more tender than any kiss Harry had ever had before. Malfoy nipped at Harry’s lips, drawing blood with his fangs. He panted and groaned into Harry’s mouth and tilted his head to deepen the kiss, pressing his body as close as he could to Harry’s as he cupped Harry’s face with one hand and dragged the other through his hair. Harry kept one arm locked around Malfoy’s waist as the other ran up and down his back before ripping off his cape. Malfoy gasped but still never left Harry’s mouth, until one of Harry’s hands slipped lower to grab his arse and he tore his mouth away, dropping his head into the crook of Harry’s neck in an attempt to muffle his moan.

Harry quickly let go as he came back to reality. “Oh god I’m so sorry, we really can’t do this. I took advantage of you. I don’t want you to be drunk if we’re gonna do this. Look, you can have my bed and I’ll sleep out here, okay?”
Harry felt so guilty. Malfoy probably had no idea what he was doing yet Harry had kissed him anyway. Malfoy was silent as Harry led him to the bedroom, throwing him one of Molly’s Christmas jumpers Harry liked to sleep in when it was cold.

Harry had just gotten settled on the couch when Malfoy appeared in the doorway wearing nothing but Harry’s jumper. He was biting his lip and looking down at his feet like he wanted to ask something, and he looked much younger than he had moments ago.
“What is it, Malfoy?”
“Look it’s your house you shouldn’t have to-the thing is-” Harry could tell he sounded exhausted but couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t just sleep.
“What is it?” he asked gently.
“I can’t sleep alone,” Malfoy finally met Harry’s eyes.
“Malfoy, I told you I can’t.”
“We’ll just sleep, I promise,” he stepped closer to the couch as Harry sat up, “Please, Harry,” Malfoy pleaded, his voice breaking.
That sound made something inside Harry fall apart, so he got up and followed Draco into the room.
~~~
A scream woke Harry up a few hours later to find Draco at the foot of his bed with a shocked expression.
“Morning to you too, love,” Harry groaned.
“Love? Why in the name of Merlin did I wake up in your bed? Cuddling you, of all people?” Draco screeched.
“How much do you remember from last night? You must’ve been more drunk than I thought,” Harry laughed, sitting up to rub his eyes.
“Drunk? I wasn’t that drunk, Pansy gave me some…oh, god,”
“What?”
“I remember Pansy telling me she laced my few glasses of firewhiskey with veritaserum…”
Harry gulped. Did that mean-?
“And you. You were there!”
Harry nodded.
“Oh Merlin I thought it was a dream. That actually happened? All of it?”
“What exactly did you dream about, Draco?” Harry asked, crawling toward the foot of the bed.
“No. It’s not possible,” Draco backed away as Harry climbed off the bed.
“Really? Because I seem to remember you flirting with me,” he stepped closer, “telling me you had a thing for me,” another step, “and saying, what was it? Oh, ‘Must be a day ending in y, that I’ll love you.’” Draco’s back hit the door and he breathed rapidly.
“That’s p-preposterous, Potter.”
“Oh, Potter, is it? That’s too bad. I guess you won’t get my response then. At least tell me you remember that kiss. When you had me up against the door like this,” he grabbed Draco’s hips, turning them around so his own back was against the door as he pulled Draco close.
“Feel familiar?”
Draco gulped as he stared into Harry’s eyes, gasping as Harry pulled him in for a sweet kiss.
“How about that?”
“Nonsense, Potter. It was more like this.”
And Draco was kissing him again, and everything felt right as he was led back to bed.
~~~
It was a few years later that Harry stood across from Draco, staring into his watery grey eyes as he slipped a ring on his finger and whispered, “Must be a day ending in y that I’ll love you. I’ve never stopped and I never will.”

Take Responsibility

Originally posted by wonhosjaan

This is my first story in YEARS and also my first ever smut so be gentle but feel free to give criticism or send asks/requests. I’m slow with everything so…we’ll see how that goes. Ps I wrote this on my phone and idk how to tumblr on my phone. How does one tumbl?

Genre: Smut / Crack

Warnings: Masturbation (male receiving) Bad humor

Summary: You must own the bone.

Keep reading

Ted Bundy talks to Dr. Al Carlisle about his long time girlfriend Elizabeth Kloepfer (Kendall as a pseudonym) and about his relationship with her.

Ted: I met Liz Kendall that fall (1969). I have a lot of pleasant memories of her and her three-year-old daughter. I had my own apartment but I stayed in her apartment for weeks at a time. We took a trip that Christmas to see her parents in Utah. Her father was a doctor. She and I had an intense relationship. In June of 1970 I returned to the University of Washington and majored in psychology. I got my BS degree in psychology in June of 1972. I got a part time job in a warehouse delivering medical equipment. It was a very tranquil period for me. It was a growing period as well. 

Al: How did the relationship work out?

Ted: She wanted to get married, and there were times that I did as well. But when it came right down to it I wasn’t quite in the mood. We got a marriage licence but I hadn’t graduated from college and I wasn’t a wage earner so I didn’t follow through. I deeply loved her. My being able to go back to college was largely due to her support. She frequently supported me, in fact. 

Al: What kept you from marrying her? You had some finances coming in, you spent a lot of your time at her apartment, and she was supporting you in college. What was wrong with the relationship that kept you from marrying her?

Ted: Liz didn’t fit the mould of a politicians wife and she had a daughter. She stopped taking her birth control pills at the recommendation of her doctor. It was just to give her body a rest. She got pregnant early 1972 and she decided to have an abortion. I didn’t urge her to or try to stop her. She had the abortion. We both had deep, deep regrets about not having a child. During the first two and a half years I ate almost all my meals at her house. She gave me $100 for school at one time.

Al: Did the relationship continue to go well? This would be the spring of 1972. Right?

Ted: Yes. I had an emotional falling out. I can’t think of any event that precipitated it. There was no arguing or yelling. It was that Liz needed constant reinforcement. She needed love over and over again.

Al: What were some of the things that caused a conflict between you?

Ted: One of them was her ideas of how to raise a child. She had no firm idea of how to do it. My position was that a time out was the best solution when a girl showed disrespect toward her mother. Liz exploded on her daughter. She would grab her daughter and just shake her. I was the object of their anger. I became insensitive to Liz. I began forgetting her birthday and not showing up for dinner when she expected me to be there. But we always came back together. 

Al: Were there other things she did that made you angry?

Ted: I think I may have blanked out things that I was angry about. However, there were no major things- nothing that lasted more than one day. However, there was one occasion when she had somebody over to her apartment. She was drunk and they had sex. I felt terribly hurt. I went home and sulked. My world was destroyed! THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW!

His statement was slow and firm. At this point, Ted went silent and stared into space. He was reliving the event. There was a dramatic change in his body language. His voice was stronger, he was very angry and, while his face was turned toward me, he looked beyond me. What I saw was a very hurt man. He had just finished telling me there was nothing major that made him angry with Liz. Now he reported an extremely emotional event. It appeared that this memory was one that he couldn’t suppress and, once it came into his mind, couldn’t avoid talking about. After several seconds he regained his composure. He looked at me and said, “But we got back together and we both cried. That was the only time she was unfaithful.”

Source- Violent Mind by Al Carlisle 

Drunker, richer and happier

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word counts: 800ish

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, drunk sex, language and all that comes with it.

A/N: @kdfrqqg said Hey girl! I got a drabble request for ya. It’s been on my list for a while to write. Please take it and find your inspiration. Lazy sex with Dean after he comes home drunk and flush with cash after hustling pool all night. He wants the reader on top but he is not able to get it in for the couple of tries or he falls out alot. Either way very comical and realistic. Lol! Just tag me sweet pea!

So, I try to be as realistic as I could without hitting the dubcon hint, think I made it but I’m still not sure. Quick edit, I want to thank @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname for the read over and the feedback!!

Wanna join my tag list? Also some feedback would be awesome!

Originally posted by thejabberwock

Originally posted by stilinski-ortiz


Drunker, richer and happier

“This is actually a lot of money!!” Raving you straight a few of crumpled bills. “You sure it was just pool? I mean, you didn’t go outside to give some McDaddy a BJ?” You laugh.

“I’m not called Y/N,” Dean jokes, a little bit of a slur around his words.

“Hey!” That was just you!” Standing from the edge of the bed you defend yourself. “And you never payed me, by the way!”

“I did return the favor.” He sits down where you’ve just been taking a couple of twenties. “What’s your fee now?” He goes for a seductive tone, failing miserably.

You laugh while opening the mini fridge door to take a water bottle. “Certainly more that forty bucks!” unscrewing the cap to take a sip before passing it on to him.

“You have any discount for regular customers?” Water drips down his chin, he successfully leaves the bottle by the foot of the bed and lays down, propped up on his elbows, calling on you with one finger.

Keep reading

My first year at EU was interesting to say the least. I learned the secret behind the many strange traditions early on. I learned of you within the first month. I went from shock at your discovery to fascination. Then to fear and loathing as I saw what you would do.

I didn’t let that get in the way of my schooling. I was majoring in Conservation Biology, so you left me be. I was protecting your places, after all. The fact that I wasn’t doing it for you didn’t matter. I could feel you watching me as I knitted in the common rooms or worked on my book in the food court, and I could hear the baying of the hounds and the cries of the hunt some nights. But you left me be, and so I carried on.

I took the normal precautions, of course, and a few of my own. Vervain in the window-box, iron wire on the bedposts, iron charms for wrist and neck, iron symbols on the walls of my dorm. A pair of iron knives beneath my mattress, salt packs in my pockets when I walked alone, especially at night, shampoo made with rowan, lotion of hazel. I fed the crows, read them poetry, talked to them about how my semester was going. I gave them trinkets, and their favorite foods. I grew popular with them. Far more than I was with the other students. And for the most part, my first year at EU was uneventful.

No, the first year went fine. It was my sophomore year that things got bad. It was an active year, my RA told me. Kidnappings were frequent. You took many, and kept them for a long time. Several were never returned. The faculty started pushing more precautionary measures, warned us all to be careful, though many never learned what they were being careful of. I was safe, though. I was cautious, I was an ally of the crows, I had little to fear. But not all were so lucky.

It was midway through the first semester when you took something of mine.

I say mine. She was everyones.The most personable, gentle, kind person I knew. One of few I would really call friend. But she was in the choir, and could play the flute with skill, and you took her for yourselves. Everyone who knew her was upset, but musicians and singers are the ones most often returned unharmed, so we waited. I waited. For a month, when It finally became obvious that you had no intention of giving her back. And I knew rage, and I would make it felt.

I made a pair of goggles from silver wire and mood rings, sewed iron charms into my clothes, and I wove iron wire into a helm, made iron rings for my fingers. I spoke to members of the chemistry department, who told me of the war they had fought in the 80’s to get back their professor. Burning iron and sprays of silver had taught you that not everyone would suffer your depredations, and if you would not give her back I would do the same. I had no desire to bargain, because a bargain would have implied you had some right to take what you did. Several other science majors came with me, and we entered your world, and we demanded you return what was ours. You laughed until the iron knives came out, and you hissed when we reminded you of the iron that burns hot and bright as the sun. You gave her back, unwillingly, but without violence. You promised there would be a price, and I promised you that if you tried to take something of mine that I would burn you all.

Now, I am a 5th year working on my masters. There is peace between us. I still take my precautions, but I set out offerings for you some nights. I have drunk with you, made bets and won, given and received favors; given gifts. But you remember that what I give you must be given freely or won, and that you do not take what is mine. You know who is responsible for the ring of five rowans in the middle of campus, who gives out iron charms to the freshmen, who has the protection of the crows. You know that while your activities are tolerated, there are lines you would be very very wise to not cross.

[x]

The five times you see Sam Wilson shirtless

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader

Warnings: A lot of feels.

A/N: Literally inspired in @bovaria​ “The five times you see Dean Winchester shirtless”. My birdman needed some love while I finish the semester and the ton of things I have to do, enjoy!


Originally posted by gweonteam

The first time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was when you were finishing your shower after training. He walked right past you –more like bumped into you—, with his earphones well-secured in his ears and his mouth moving—he was most probably lip-syncing to god knows what. He was sticky and sweaty, and as you fell together, you realized he had been training very hard. You were starstruck and your hands were still on his pecs; his lips were dangerously close to you and you were damn sure you had the funniest and dorkiest face ever.

“My god—I—I’m so sorry!” You babbled once you regained control of yourself and got up on your feet again and helped him up too.

“No, I’m sorry,” he said in a careless manner, “I was not looking and it was my fault. I’m Sam by the way, Sam Wilson…”

“Oh, you’re the new one. Steve’s friend,” you nodded, “it’s good to see you’re accustomed to be here, you’re making your way here and that’s good to see.”

“Well, this is not different from the army, except that I can actually wake up when I want to,” he chuckled, “by the way, you never told me your name.”

“I’m (Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” you reached out your hand to shake his, “I’ve been here with the team for a while now, I was from SHIELD,” you explained.

“I think I saw you… when agent Hill took us to that secret spot,” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to remember it. “You were one of the doctors taking care of us.”

“Yes!” You squealed. “I was indeed, it’s great to have you here as part of us; I’ve seen you in combat and… you’re impressive,” you admitted feeling your cheeks warming up and tainting with a hot pink flush. “Sam, I have to go, Natasha’s waiting for me upstairs. It was very nice to meet you,” you smiled.

“I’ll try to be less distracted when I walk around you,” he slyly said, “take care.”

The first time you see Sam Wilson shirtless, you made a fool of yourself but he didn’t seem to care.


The second time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was at one of Tony Stark’s parties. He was drunk, and golly you pitied him for the hangover he was bound to have the next morning. You were sitting with Natasha while the rest of the males tried to lift up the hammer.

“Oh come on girls!” Sam blurted. “Don’t you wanna know if you’re worthy?”

“No thank you, bird brain,” Natasha replied and turned her head to you, “stop staring at him or he’s gonna notice,” she took the bottle to her lips and smiled knowingly before drinking.

“Notice what exactly?” You rose an eyebrow.

“That you like him, you dork,” the redhead said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t like him,” partially true, “I just like to see him; he’s got some nice ass and a great front to look at,” you said. “Can’t blame a girl for liking those assets,” you shrugged and leaned your head on her shoulder. “What about you and Rogers?” You elbowed her. “That looks steamy, aw!” You teased.

“Yeah, don’t change the topic,” she teased back, “you like Wilson, and I like that; he’s a great guy and you deserve someone like him; you’ve stumbled into too many assholes in the time we’ve known each other—”

Out of a sudden, Tony started playing some random playlist on Spotify, and the first song was Ed Sheran’s “Shape of You”. You looked at Nat and you both started laughing at the two men approaching you; one was Sam and the other was Steve who was not as drunk as his friend. Natasha accepted without further argue; you on the other side, were a bit more reluctant to dance with him, especially when he was shirtless and you were drooling like a dog at Pavlov’s experiment.

“Come on, don’t say no to this song,” he held your hands; they were rough and a bit dry, but his grip was quite gentle, “and try not to say no to me too,” he added.

“Sam, go get dressed, dammit!” You scolded him. “You’re gonna catch a cold!”

“Bullshit,” he clicked his tongue, “now come on,” he tugged at your hands and you accepted to dance with him.

His hands, even though he was completely drunk, were still very respectful and you had to give him a point for that. You held on to his broad –and naked—shoulders and danced the night away. You two even kissed a few times as the songs played and the dancing became a bit heated, but he surely wouldn’t remember a thing of it.

The second time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was not required and probably the most uncomfortable thing ever, but the man had a body and you had functioning eyes, so why not?


The third time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was after a mission. He refused to let his shirt go but you threatened to hit him with some big ass dose of horse tranquilizer so you could rip the fabric away and he reluctantly obliged. You had seen it before, but this was the very first time you had such a close look at it. You could still see the marks of the suit all over his chest and back, some of the scars; the old and the new ones, and the laceration that was causing trouble.

“Sam, if you could please relax…” You sighed, putting on your gloves. “Just a few stitches and you’ll be just fine.”

“It’s not that, (Y/N)… It’s just that it’s the first time you’re voluntarily seeing me like this because I always go with someone else, but they’re all busy today,” he sheepishly admitted, “and we’re not drunk, or distracted,” he looked down at you and you felt a shiver running down your spine; his eyes had never been this fixed on you before it was surely making you a bit uncomfortable and very self-conscious.

“But not the first time I see you shirtless, so suck it up,” you replied in an unfriendly voice. “Sit down and turn around before that thing goes bad,” you ordered. It was the usual procedure: cleaning and clearing, sewing and covering the wound with bandages. Sam winced and tensed when you started the first part. “Sammy, I’m sorry but the sooner we get this over with, the better, okay?” He breathed out heavily and nodded. “Alright, here I go again,” you warned and started stitching him up. He endured the whole process stoically and he didn’t grunt not even once. You softly patted his shoulder to let him know that it was over. “Good boy, you deserve a lollipop,” you giggled, “I’m sure I must have a candy somewhere—”

“Uhh, (Y/N)?” He nervously asked. “I was wondering if you… I don’t know… maybe we could go out one day?” he scratched the back of his neck; needless to say, he hadn’t put on his shirt yet.

“Are you… Are you asking me out?” You asked, rolling all the dirty things you used into one great ball and heading for the trash can. You pursed your lips trying to hold back a childish and nervous titter.

“I mean—yeah, why not?”

“You promise there won’t be any nudity, alcohol or anything that’s not PG-13?” you folded your arms over your chest and rose your eyebrows. You wanted to say yes, of course, but he was not getting a positive answer so fast. “Sam, promise me that,” you urged him.

“Some old Disney movies are going to be played in the park one of these days, would that be okay with you? PG-13 enough?”

“That would be perfect,” you nodded happily. “I like peanut butter sandwiches more than popcorn, and I tend to speak a lot during movies, and if there are songs I know, which is really likely, you can be well damn sure I’m going to sing the hell out of them, so consider yourself warned. I’m the worst person to watch movies with,” you shrugged.

“Warned and taking the risk anyway, so stop putting me off and just go out with me, okay?” He chuckled, sliding down his chest the t-shirt that seemed a bit small, but perfect enough to hug him tightly and reveal his chiseled torso. It was the first time you saw him under such an attentive eye, and you were quite intrigued by the findings.

“You got it,” you breathily laughed, “I’ll write our date down so I don’t forget about it, you happy?”

The third time you see Sam Wilson shirtless got you a date.


The fourth time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was after a great night of sleep. You rolled to the other side to find him peacefully sleeping. He groaned and lazily started to stretch as he opened his eyes; he looked at you and smiled.

“What up, naked woman?” He giggled as he saw your uncovered torso; the night had been a long one and for a period it seemed sleepless, but you two run out of energies after some passionate love making and decided to go to sleep without any clothes at all.

“What up,” you replied in a whisper and leaning forward to peck his lips. “Did you have a good night?”

“The best one in years,” he yawned, “and you? Did I interrupt your night of sleep?”

“Not at all, Mr. Wilson,” you bit your bottom lip and snuggled closer.

Things had gotten official between you two the night before; Sam Wilson made the question publicly and you drank until very late with the rest of the team. You hadn’t been this happy in years, and Sam was doing everything in he could to keep you like that, but he didn’t need to try that hard, just being himself was enough.

It was the very first time you asked someone to move in with you, and even though Sam lived with you for a long time, you never invited him to the privacy of your own sanctuary. He had invited you to his room on countless occasions but it always ended up in the walk of shame.

“I just want you to know,” he said, placing a hand on your jaw to cup your face. He stroke gently your cheek, “that I’m really honored for this… I know you’re not the one to share your room,” his nose bumped with yours, “and I hope this is the first night together from many more to come, when we get a place on our own,”

“Is this getting serious, Sammy?” You chuckled. “Because if it is, you could might as well propose to me right now,” you pecked his lips and he helped you getting on top of him. “Oh, someone’s getting excited?” You bit your bottom lip and started rolling your hips gently. Sam pulled you closer for a heated kiss; it felt nice to have his skin so close to you again.

The fourth time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was the moment you realized you wanted to be with him for the rest of your life.


The fifth time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was on a mission; one that ended abruptly. He’s bleeding a lot and you’re damn sure he won’t make it. Steve’s carrying him in his arms back to the quinjet and you’re following his steps trying hard to keep yourself together. Natasha runs behind you, calling your name to please go back and help her, but Sam is everything you have in mind for now. You know you can’t abandon your job just like that, but you can’t abandon him either.

Steve placed him on the quinjet’s floor and started setting the medical equipment to keep him alive, but the wound was too profound and he was losing a hell lot of blood.

“(Y/N), you either go back and fight, or you’re useful here, but don’t stay there doing nothing,” Steve blurted, ripping you from your thoughts. You kneeled next to him trying to ignore the gushing blood coming out of Sam’s stomach.

You started cutting Sam’s shirt and Steve hurried to press some gauze onto the wound to stop the flow. You took some more fabric and pushed Steve’s hands away. “Don’t die on me, Sammy, don’t you dare,” you threatened, with your voice breaking and your hands shaking. “Sammy talk to me, now,” you cleaned your forehead with your arm while Steve changed the gauze.

“This is gonna leave some big ass scar,” a weak voice startled you. Sam tried to smile and so did you, but the laceration was too big and too scary to even fake. “You know what’s funny?” you shook your head, “I wanted to propose to you today… but I don’t think I can now,” he gulped and winced from the pain. “Steve…may I have a moment?” Steve nodded silently; he placed a heavy hand on your shoulder and squeezed it lightly. Then, with loud steps he got out to meet the rest of the team; the fight was fortunately won by the Avengers and they were all waiting for the diagnose on Wilson’s state. Steve’s face said it all. “I don’t have much time here, gorgeous,” he coughed, “so I’ll try to make it quick. You’re so—so fucking awesome and… I love you, just that…”

“Don’t say it as a goodbye, Wilson—you can’t do that! Not to me!”

“Kiss me as if it was the last time…” He teased. You leaned in to feel him one last time, trying to make his last minutes on earth the happiest ones. “You’ll be just fine without me, you’ve always been anyway,” he smiled lightly and sighed deeply. He slowly closed his eyes until you realized there was no life in that body.

“Sam… Sam, no. Dammit no!” You placed your hands on his chest to shake him, but there was no answer. Loud steps stopped just behind you and a warm hug took you away as you kicked and screamed to be put again next to Sam’s lifeless body. Thor was dragging you back and trying to keep your breaking self together.

The fifth time you see Sam Wilson shirtless was also the last one.

Ties That Bind Us

Part 5:

Of course once Hunk walked into the kitchen and spotted his best friend looking sick he turned into the universes biggest mother hen, scooping him up into his strong arms and not even batting an eye at Lance being dropped over Keith.
“Coran is there a bed in the in infirmary I can put him in?” He asked.
Coran seemed to snap out of his worry stricken state and nodded.
“Yes I will accompany you and set up the equipment.” With that the older Altean hurried off followed by Hunk and the limp Lance.
Keith stared after the three planning to follow but as he was about to stand up Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder making the message clear.
They were going to have the talk.
And it was happening now.
“Pidge, do me a favour and go help out Hunk and Coran.” The way Shiro said it just screamed he was telling Pidge to get out while she could.
“Oh…oh yeah I’ll do that” she said shooting Keith a half sympathetic half amused look before leaving the two alone.
“Look Shiro I-”
“Did you kiss Lance or did he kiss you?” Shiro interrupted.
“What?”
“I need to know who kissed who, this is important.” He said sternly.
“Well Lance kissed me first both times.”
“Both…” Shiro rose an eyebrow.
“Well… erm see after Lance found out he was part Altean we kinda talked then he kissed me before he went to talk to Coran…” Keith rambled quickly feeling his cheeks blush as he went on.
Shiro didn’t say anything for a moment and Keith began to feel uncomfortable under his glare.
“I need to know your not going to take advantage of Lance in his current state.” He said finally, however it was like a punch to the gut.
Shiro was seriously worried he would take advantage of Lance.
“What! Shiro quiznark no! I didn’t even realise he had fever when we were making out. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Do you regret it?” Shiro asked crossing his arms.
Keith didn’t say anything, instead he looked at his feet giving Shiro the answer he needed.
“Listen Keith I’m going to make myself very clear. While Lance is going through these Altean changes you are to deny all his advances.”
“What do you mean?” Keith asked quietly.
“What I mean is that Lance isn’t in his right mind right now. But you are. It’s your responsibility to keep him safe from making a mistake he could come to regret.”
“So that’s all I am Hu? A mistake to be made!” Keith snapped.
Shiro slammed his hand down on the table so hard that Keith jumped. “Dammit Keith you know what I meant! Think of it this way, if Lance were drunk and tried to sleep with you, a decent guy would say no. But if the same situation were to happen while he were sober then a decent guy could say yes…”
The two stared at each other for a moment “do you understand?”
Keith slowly nodded and sighed “yeah I do.”
He knew then that it would be a while before he could be that close to Lance again, because despite everything and despite how much he hated it.
Keith was a decent guy.

NCT 127 reaction to gf being drunk

@kpop-is-mye-lifeu requested: “Would you please please pretty please do an nct 127 reaction (members: Mark, Doyoung, Taeil, Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta and Jaehyun)  reaction to their gf being very drunk, when she has never touched alcohol before? Thanks chingu lol <3″

Aww yes! I would love to do this reaction because this would be so me if I ever got drunk. No worries chingu I got you 😄 I know you have had to wait a while so to compensate for that I made this fluffy! Happy Reading 💛

MASTERLIST


Taeil

He reached the bar where you had gone out with your friends and saw you sitting outside with your belongings scattered around you. “Y/N” he crouched down cautiously. He collected your things and put them in your bag. When you reached home, he piggy backed you inside and laid you on the bed. He took off your shoes and covered you with a blanket. He turned off lights and came back with a glass of water and put it on your bedside table and some painkillers for the morning. He then laid down next to you and gathered your flail body in his arms and kissed your forehead. “Thank god you are safe” he whispered against your forehead. 

Taeyong

“Stay there with her and don’t leave her alone” he said with urgency over the phone. He was worried all the way, because he knew you would get sick. He was handed your sleeping from by your friend. He considered taking you to the hospital but a phone call with Doyoung helped him calm down. “Ughh why do you do shit like this when you know..” he said to no one particularly. He kept glancing over at you making sure you were fine. The next morning he sat you down and gave a lecture for a good hour before cupping your face and kissing you with intensity you had never experienced before. “ Don’t do this ever again. You know you can’t handle it”

Doyoung

Doyoung was very pissed off the day after he brought you home in a drunken state. He was sitting on the couch looking up at nothing in particular. You were making the best puppy face you could muster. “Don’t give me that Y/F/N” he said. You tried speaking but he cut you off before you could say a single word. “You my love will only listen to me. I am not happy that you got yourself in that situation. You have never touched alcohol before and anything could have happened to you in such a state” he continued. You apologized profusely. “I am just worried is all. I want you safe” he said as his arms automatically wrapped around your hunched figure.

Yuta 

You came home stumbling, stuttering and an half conscious mess. Yuta led you towards the couch. He handed you a glass of water and a painkiller just in case. You were able to stay conscious but not for long. He sat next to you watching over you, making sure you didn’t puke all over the place and just generally because he was worried for you. “You know you always end up giving me frights out of nowhere. You are one crazy girl, but I love you so I end doing crazy shit for you” he said as he tucked strands of hair behind your ear. He kissed your cheek, and made himself comfortable on the love seat, turning on the tv. 

Johnny 

He couldn’t wrap his head around the whole situation. “Why did you drink so much for your first time?” He asked as he held your hair back as you puked. He forgot for a second you probably couldn’t talk. “Y/N baby come to your senses please. I need you to take care of yourself” He wasn’t angry or anything he just couldn’t understand why you decided to chug down a whole bottle in your first try. “It was a dare…” you said in between retching. “Next time don’t so this to yourself. I really can’t see you in a such a state” he gently stroked your head as he held the rest of your hair back still.

Jaehyun

He was one worried boy. After you had come home in a drunken state he ended calling his mom asking her for a solution. He made a hangover juice for you, which you drank and came to your senses in no time. “Do you need anything? A paper bag, a bucket, a towel, painkillers, food?” He rambled on. “Jae, baby I am okay” you assured him with a smile. “No you are not. Do you feel sick anywhere? he asked.You shook your head, so he helped you into bed, and tucked you in. He gave you warm milk to help you sleep, and put on soft music on his phone which he placed next to you. “Goodnight my princess. Sleep well and be more careful.” he kissed your nose as your eyes closed shut.

Mark

This lil baby would be very confused. He called one of the older boys to help him. Once you had fallen asleep, he sat next to you on the bed holding your hand. “You know I wouldn’t be able to tell you this if you were awake, but I love you and I am sorry” His breathed hitched in his throat as you stirred in your sleep. He continued when he was sure you really were asleep. “I don’t know how to handle such situations too well. But I promise to be more mature in the future and take care of you like you deserve to be taken care of ” he smiled softly. Kissing the back of your hands he left you peacefully in your slumber.


I hope you liked it! 

Drunk confession

It was 4 am when I heard my roommate open the front door. He’d been out all night, and I was pretty sure he came back drunk out of his mind as always. I was watching Family Guy in the living room and tried to ignore the sound of my roommate trying to take his shoes off. I could tell that he was struggling to keep his balance due to him stomping on the floor very loudly from almost falling over every few seconds. When he was done I heard him making his way over to the couch.
Okay, I’ll admit that I don’t dislike him as much as I’m making it seem. He is pretty attractive and quite nice. We’d become pretty good friends over the years and knew a lot about eachother. A few personal things as well. One of those things being that I am a feeder. I’m very attracted to bigger people, always have been. He found out when he caught me looking at pictures of overweight men, staring at their bulging bellies. Now, my roommate wasn’t exactly the skinniest dude either. He’d grown quite a bit of a belly over the past year due to an injury to his leg which prevented him from running like he usually did. This of course was the perfect opportunity for him to tease me with his little beginners gut. And tease me he did. After every big meal, which is all of them, he’d rub his belly and stare at me a little bit too long and hard just to see if he could get my attention. Or he’d walk around without a shirt, or he dramatically complained when he was hungry, or he showed me the part of his wardrobe that didn’t fit anymore… I mean, I can’t complain. I got to see some belly and I also got to see his own little game catching up to him. All the teasing, and making sure his tummy was bloated so he could tease me with it made him put on quite a bit of weight. If I had to guess I’d say it’s around 15 pounds. So yeah, I’m not complaining!
As expected, he let himself fall on the couch right next to me, which made bounce off the couch and into the air about an inch, and sighed deeply. I felt him staring at me after a while I asked how his night was. Instead of answering my question he slowly took my hand and placed it on his very very bloated belly. “Feel” he said in a drunk but calm voice. What I felt was a sloshy, rumbling, protruding and very bloated belly. My eyes sprung open with surprise and I turned to face him to then look down at his belly. “How the hell did that happen?” I asked, clearly shocked. A wide grin appeared on his face along with a drunk chuckle that coming out of his mouth as he leaned in closer. “For you” he whispered, and softly kissed my cheek. “Please touch it. I drank so much.. It hurts”. A drunk, horny, handsome fat guy longing for me to touch his aching, painfully full and sloshing belly was just a little too much for me to resist. So i decided to give in and gave his belly an approving squeeze. He replied by moaning deeply, and leaned back against the couch. I could tell that he was enjoying his bellyrub and that he had been wanting this for a long time. As time went on we both got more and more into it. I looked over at him and saw a look on his face that I can only describe as “horny af”. His lips were slightly parted, breathing deeply in and out through them, letting out a moan every once in a while. His eyes were fixated on his own bulging gut, and my hands caressing it, squeezing it, and jiggling it. When our eyes met I slowly leaned in closer to his face and softly placed my lips onto his. He kissed back and was looking to deepen the kiss very quickly. His tongue dartled out of his mouth and brushed against my bottom lip. I enjoyed this sensation and gave him permission to deepen the kiss by flicking my tongue against his.
Before I knew it I was straddling him and made out with him intensely while rubbing and squeezing his very full and large belly. His arousal was undeniable and so was mine. He probably didn’t know what the hell was happening to him. Poor fatty, haha. I started riding against his hard manhood and heard him moan and breathe deeply. I moved faster and faster, making sure to brush up against his belly, which in turn started sloshing loudly. We could both hear all the liquid he had consumed that night move around in his giant gut, which seemed to be a great turn on for him. After both hearing this and acknowledging the sound, things moved quickly. In to time our clothes were on the floor, and we were having great, fat, drunk sex. If this is how he feels while drunk, fat and bloated, I’ll send him out to drink with his friends a lot more often.

My first year at EU was interesting to say the least. I learned the secret behind the many strange traditions early on. I learned of you within the first month. I went from shock at your discovery to fascination. Then to fear and loathing as I saw what you would do.

I didn’t let that get in the way of my schooling. I was majoring in Conservation Biology, so you left me be. I was protecting your places, after all. The fact that I wasn’t doing it for you didn’t matter. I could feel you watching me as I knitted in the common rooms or worked on my book in the food court, and I could hear the baying of the hounds and the cries of the hunt some nights. But you left me be, and so I carried on. I took the normal precautions, of course, and a few of my own. Vervain in the window-box, iron wire on the bedposts, iron charms for wrist and neck, iron symbols on the walls of my dorm. A pair of iron knives beneath my mattress, salt packs in my pockets when I walked alone, especially at night, shampoo made with rowan, lotion of hazel. I fed the crows, read them poetry, talked to them about how my semester was going. I gave them trinkets, and their favorite foods. I grew popular with them. Far more than I was with the other students. And for the most part, my first year at EU was uneventful. No, the first year

went fine. It was my sophomore year that things got bad. It was an active year, my RA told me. Kidnappings were frequent. You took many, and kept them for a long time. Several were never returned. The faculty started pushing more precautionary measures, warned us all to be careful, though many never learned what they were being careful of. I was safe, though. I was cautious, I was an ally of the crows, I had little to fear. But not all were so lucky.

It was midway through the first semester when you took something of mine.

I say mine. She was everyones.The most personable, gentle, kind person I knew. One of few I would really call friend. But she was in the choir, and could play the flute with skill, and you took her for yourselves. Everyone who knew her was upset, but musicians and singers are the ones most often returned unharmed, so we waited. I waited. For two weeks, when It finally became obvious that you had no intention of giving her back. And I knew rage, and I would make it felt.

I made a pair of goggles from silver wire and mood rings, sewed iron charms into my clothes, and I wove iron wire and heavy yarn into a helm, made iron rings for my fingers. I spoke to members of the chemistry department, who told me of the war they had fought in the 80’s to get back their professor. Burning iron and sprays of silver had taught you that not everyone would suffer your depredations, and if you would not give her back I would do the same. I had no desire to bargain, because a bargain would have implied you had some right to take what you did. Several others came with me science majors all, and we entered your world, and we demanded you return what was ours. You laughed until the iron knives came out, and you hissed when we reminded you of the iron that blazes hot and bright as the sun. You gave her back, unwillingly, but without violence. You promised there would be a price, and I promised you that if you tried to take something of mine that I would burn you all.

Now, I am a 5th year working on my masters. There is peace between us. I still take my precautions, but I set out offerings for you some nights. I have drunk with you, made bets and won, given and received favors; given gifts. But you remember that what I give you must be given freely or won, and that you do not take what is mine. You know who is responsible for the ring of five rowans in the middle of campus, who gives out iron charms to the freshmen, who has the protection of the crows. You know that while your activities are tolerated, there are lines you would be very very wise to not cross.

[x]

youtube

“I was meant to sit next to Russell Harty and keep still and quiet. I was all dressed up like an Amazonian seductress, and treated like the hired help. This is no way to treat a guest. Being stuck there while he ignored me made me feel very uncomfortable.”

“I wasn’t attacking him because I was drunk or stoned. I was lashing out because I felt he was not being proper. Harty was rude. I wasn’t going to put up with it. I lashed out on live television. It takes balls to do that, which could be seen as a little crazy. And then they tried to get me back on the show! The ratings soared. I had done him a favor. They wanted a rematch. It was all so tacky.”

“When he died, my phone never stopped. It rang off the hook. What do you think about Russell Harty dying? Well, I am very sorry, but what do you want me to say? I didn’t know him at all. I didn’t kill him. I had nothing to do with it. I wasn’t there at all. I had an alibi.”

In Your Head- Part 5

Jughead Jones x Reader

Reader: Y/N

Brother: Y/B/N

Word Count: 1,601

Summary: You are almost 3 months into a relationship with Jughead Jones. You are going through a tough time being too much in your head as the anniversary of “that night” comes closer. Jughead can sense something is wrong.

Warnings: Features sexual content, as well as a rape flashback and parental abuse. Please don’t read if easily triggered.


….“but now I want to show you”.

Jughead looked into your eyes and while he could see that you meant every word, he took a breath for himself. “Maybe we should talk about this first? We haven’t really before…”

You leaned back on the bed and laid next to him. You thought for a moment. He was right, if you were going to do this, you should talk about any other feelings you have. In the same instance of these thoughts, you also couldn’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe he just didn’t want you. “No one will ever love someone like you” - your eyes were closed - and all you could hear were those words in your mother’s voice.

You finally looked back at Jughead, who once again had a look of loving concern in his eyes. “Yeah I guess your right”. You looked away from his eyes and just focused on holding his hand, “I guess, I mean, do you want to with me?”

He pulled your chin having your face looking into his eyes and giving you a reassuring smile, “Of course I do Y/N. I love you”. He paused to kiss you again. “I just want to make sure what this means for us”.

You smiled, feeling better about your thoughts. You hadn’t asked him anything like this next question. “Okay. Well have you ever? Before I mean…”

He gave a laugh, thinking you already knew that answer. “Y/N. You have been all of my firsts so far”.

You were a little surprised. How could anyone else not notice this amazing guy before you?

You smiled. “Sorry, I guess I just wasn’t sure. I mean you’re kind of perfect you know?” 

He gave a soft laugh again. “Yeah well, I don’t think many girls find the name Jughead too attractive….” 

“Perfect for me then”. You smiled again bringing him in to kiss again. His hands moved to your hips, and after your gentle kiss he looked nervous. 

Looking down back to your body, he chalked up his courage to ask you next. “Have you? I mean not what with happened last year….”, he lost his words a bit, “I mean I know that doesn’t….” 

You smiled, now bringing his face to yours. “No, I’ve never made love to anyone before”. You took a pause again, mustering up some courage while knowing what you wanted to say. “So….I love you, you love me, and we both want to do this…is there anything else?” 

“Yeah….”, he hesitated and then bit his lip before saying, “You’re not still drunk right?”. 

You laughed again, “No, no. I am very sure I want this with you. I trust you, don’t worry”. 

 “Okay, but I need you to do something for me…”. He looked back in your eyes grasping the sides of your face with both hands, “If I am hurting you or you feel uncomfortable in ANY way, you have to tell me. Okay? The last thing I’d want….” 

You cut him off, “I promise I will but I’m not worried. A little nervous maybe….but I love you”. 

He smiled again before bringing you in for a heavy kiss. His mouth on your bottom lip, turning into a deeper kiss, his tongue snuck in while moving his hands to your hips. You moved your hands to his neck, moving your body closer to his. Your hands went upwards to his head and you slid off his beanie and started to play with his raven hair. He made a slight groan and paused at the end of this kiss, looking at your body up and down while taking a deep breath. “Stay here for a second, I have to get something…” He kissed you on your forehead before making sure with his eyes that you were going to stay on the bed before hurrying to the door. 

You took a breath to yourself, looking up at the ceiling. You had someone that loved you and cared about you in a way unlike any other. You decided to take the rest of your hair down, which took a little bit as it felt that Kevin had used a hundred bobby pins in your hair. All the while just thinking of how much you loved this guy, this amazing guy that you lucked into. You couldn’t get the smile off your face and you looked up after hearing the door move again. Jughead closed and locked it while coming back to the bed. “Thank goodness for Archie’s room…”, he joked while putting a condom on the nightstand next to the bed. He sat back down next you, you got up slightly. 

 “Come here”. You grabbed a side of his face while bringing him back to your lips again. You kissed him hard and deep, starting slow while moving the pace of your mouth a little faster. His hands moved to your hips again, as he paused from kissing, he looked down staring at your shirt. You gave him a smile and a slight nod and he began to move his hand up it. His hand made it to a cup of your bra and he gave a slight sigh while now kissing your neck. You moved your body on top of his, straddling his hips with your thighs. You lifted the cropped shirt off, tossed it to the side of the room and began to remove your bra while he never left his eyes off of yours. You slid off the straps and tossed the dark bra to the middle of the room and he began to look down. “You’re so beautiful”, he said as his eyes went back to your lips. He once again moved his hands up from your hips and started to caress your left breast. He groaned slightly while bringing your body closer to his, towards the pillow. You began to kiss his neck while your body began to warm all over, you started to grab his hips, your body in-twined with his. 

You began to lift his shirt up, until he paused, lifting his body up a little to help you get it off. With his shirt now off, he began to kiss you all over, starting with your neck. He paused right before his mouth got to your breasts and then dived in. With his mouth on you, you knew you had never felt anything like this feeling. His hands went back up to your neck and his mouth trailed up your body back to your lips. In that moment, you were all his.


You both laid there, under the covers, panting in what was the feeling of ecstasy. You looked back to him, your hands over his chest while looking back up at his face. His brow had a little sweat, but his large smile is what you were focused on. You were still breathing heavily getting the words out, “W-well?” 

“That was…”, he was still catching his breath as well, “amazing”. He brought your lips back to him and smiled while parting them. “I love you Y/N. So much.”

Again, still smiling to him, “I love you too”. 

“How do you feel?”, he was checking in on your emotions again. 

“Different. A little light headed…”, you gave a smirk, “but great. You?” 

“That was the best physical feeling of my life”, his words were honest but the way he spat them out he laughed a little after. You giggled back. 

He thought for second, “also hungry…” 

“When are you not?”. You laughed together before you grabbed one of his flannels from the floor and began to button it. You grabbed your pj bottoms out of your bag. He was watching you every slight second you moved, “what are you doing?” He asked, still with a smile on his face. 

“Making us something to eat of course”. You smiled back. 

“Give me a little bit and I’ll be down there with you, okay?”. He stood up and leaned in for a kiss and grabbed his boxers as well as his beanie before heading towards the bathroom. The smile never left your face as you headed towards the kitchen. You didn’t think this feeling of love would ever end. 

You opened the fridge and grabbed some eggs, then went to the pantry and found some pancake mix. Jughead was walking down the stairs, wearing just his boxers and beanie, walking over to you. The smile was still stuck on his face as well. He came behind you, as you were now mixing eggs in a bowl, and kissed your neck while giving you a slight hug. 

“Can I help?” 

Eyeing the pan next to you, “Yeah put that one on the burner”, and while giving it to him you gave him a peck back. You looked up to the side of the kitchen and saw the clock. It was a little after 2am. You were a little surprised it wasn’t later, as it felt like a very long day. You started in on the pancake mix while Jughead got another pan out. 

At the same instance, you heard the front door open. You both lifted your heads and were welcomed by Archie. He looked at the both of you and smiled. “Heh, well your guys’ night definitely turned around…” He gave a slight eyebrow raise with the statement. 

“Errr well…yeah”, Jughead was messing with the hair under his beanie out of nervousness. You yourself were practically red. You stared back at Jughead, knowing that pancakes wasn’t going to be the end of your night.

I LOVE DRUNK ME - BUCKY BARNES

(A/N): So, I wrote this shit. Yeah, I know I can do better but I was in a mood for a one-shot that sux. Anyway, I might do part 2 but I’m not sure yet. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary:  (Y/N) got drunk and said her secrets to the one and only Bucky Barnes - the man she had a crush on.

Warning: humor, alcohol, language

Words: 1700+

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by natpekis

I LOVE DRUNK ME – BUCKY BARNES

It was rare when the team saw (Y/N) drunk. Most of the time, she would have a wine or two, not risking getting wasted or in any funny mood. This time, it was different.

The best hits of the 80’s were heard in the whole room while the guests were drinking and dancing. It was Tony’s idea to have a themed party. It was for the two White Walkers as he liked to call Steve and Bucky. Of course, he had invited as many people as possible.

Natasha was sitting at the bar with Clint and Bruce, sipping a drink and talking about Clint’s family. All of them wore colorful clothes that perfectly represented the 80’s fashion. The redhead even helped the two soldiers to put on something appropriate.

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You knew love

Originally posted by mukenope


Summary: You knew love, and you knew Luke, Michael, Ashton and Calum.

A/N: This is my favorite piece so far! It has been on a long road but now it’s here and I’m actually really proud of it. It’s a bit different, but I hope you’ll give a chance! Also, I really like the Michael part, but it contains mentions of alcohol, drugs etc. so if you’re not comfortable with reading about that, you can just scroll past his part x


You knew love, although your version was a bit different than your friends’. They would fall in love over and over again and their feelings never lasted long. They got drunk on love and swelled in self-pity, when the hangover hit them, while you saw love as something precious, something rare and something that made life worth living. You had experienced love four times, with four very different boys; their only thing in common was a strangely passionate fondness of music. And the love you shared with each of them had taught you about yourself, truth, sadness, anger, hate, love and life itself.


Your first love taught you that soft, blushing cheeks, nervous whispers and sweaty palms were way better than bad boy images, expensive cars and heartbreak. Luke taught you how to fall in love without getting broken, he taught you how to trust and how to not just be lovers, but also best friends.

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  • the foxes as shit i did in high school
  • neil: made my history teacher cry after giving a detailed 10 minute explanation on why she was terrible at her job a day before she left for a long vacation to have a surgery
  • andrew: sat up on the catwalk 30 ft up in the theater and threw balls of tape at people while insulting their intelligence, surrounded by packets of sugar i was hoarding and eating
  • aaron: made a kid cry in chemistry class because i dragged him so sufficiently, then told by the teacher that i am "very good at making people feel stupid"
  • kevin: came to school drunk and aced a history test
  • matt: skipped my classes to go hang out with my friends in their classes, somehow ended up doing their assignments
  • nicky: tried to tell a girl i liked her but ended up walking straight into a trashcan then still managed to get a date with her
  • dan: was made fun of by the football guys in the weight room for being small then squatted more weight than them
  • renee: got nominated to be an ambassador for an anti-bullying campaign by a teacher who saw me kick a guys desk over for being a dick
  • allison: came to shop class in a dress, full makeup, and heels, and ended up doing more than all the guys put together
latest updates on sims!crowley and sims!aziraphale

(part 1 of the saga here):

- they are best friends now. crowley still wants to kiss aziraphale but haven’t. he gave aziraphale a book called "french toast, french fries and french kissing” tho (which aziraphale read really fast, by the way)

- crowley called aziraphale to cuddle on the sofa (this was all him, i didn’t do anything). so they were cuddling As Friends, as you can see here:

- i made crowley share a secret with aziraphale, and was expecting him saying something like “did you know i like cars a lot??” (like yeah total secret) but what he said was: “you are my best friend.” THE SIMS 3 ALMOST GOT ME CRYING

- they went to a pub and got very drunk. when i checked on aziraphale after a while HE WAS DANCING ON THE COUNTER. and crowley was just sitting there watching with a straight face and waiting to get them drinks lmao. 

i recorded a video of it that ended up being really low quality (and i put sweet dreams funk version playing in the background): you can watch it here

- after that, crowley decided to go dancing on the counter. and a few seconds after he started the pub’s lights were turned off and they had to leave because it was closing. poor boy always trying to be cool and always failing miserably

The Life and Times of Tigger

Originally posted by yong-guks

Dating Bang Yongguk could only be described as an experience. A good experience, but an experience nonetheless. An experience that you would never even dream of trading.

Over the course of your relationship with Yongguk you learned more than you ever thought you would. Yongguk preferred to make each word count and, although he was on the quiet side, each conversation was meaningful in its own way. He taught you about your own life, the lives of others, and how to make the most of both. He taught you how to be a better person and how to appreciate all that you were given.

He taught you how to be a genuinely good human being.

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