i made this when i was watching that tv show with my dad

Things the Hogwarts Houses say

(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)

Hufflepuff -

  • “If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend" 
  •  "I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
  • “Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
  • “Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
  • “Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
  • “You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME
  • “Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
  • “Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
  • “Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
  • “This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
  • (crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”

Ravenclaw -

  •  "Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
  • “What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
  • “Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
  • “I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
  • “What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
  • “Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
  • No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
  • “You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go
  • “I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
  • “Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
  • (crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”

Gryffindor - 

  • “I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
  • “Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
  • "What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
  • “Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
  • “Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
  • “Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
  • Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
  • “Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
  • “I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
  • “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
  • “I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”

Slytherin - 

  • “Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
  • “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
  • “Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
  • “If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
  • “Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
  • “Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
  • “But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
  • “Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
  • “My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
  • “I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
  • “What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”

Ring Once

Story by reddit user Pippinacious

I’d never been good in storms, but I was even worse in hospitals, so when the choice came to go visit Nana, my ma’s mother, or stay home and brave the thunder and lightning on my own, I only hesitated for a moment before making my decision.

“You sure you don’t want to come, Hannah?” Ma asked, hovering uncertainly in the doorway leading to the garage.

Keep reading

Prompts for writing, journals, get to know me’s or whatever

About me

Am I a clean or messy person?
Am I a tea or coffee person?
Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
Am I afraid of heights?
Am I allergic to anything?
Am I an early bird or a night owl?
Am I an extrovert or introvert?
Am I an innie or an outie?
Am I easily embarrassed?
Am I in a relationship?
Am I left or right handed?
Am I much of a daredevil?
Am I scared of the dark?
Am I social?
Am I superstitious?
Am I ticklish?
Can I bake?
Can I cook?
Can I curl my tongue?
Can I dance?
Can I drive?
Can I juggle?
Can I play poker?
Can I roll my r’s?
Can I sing?
Can I spell well?
Can I swim?
Can I wiggle my ears?
Do I correct people when they make mistakes?
Do I have a collection of anything?
Do I have a strong accent?
Do I have any nicknames?
Do I have any pet peeves?
Do I have any piercings?
Do I have any strange phobias?
Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?
Do I have much of an ego?
Do I judge a book by its cover?
Do I like bubble baths?
Do I like classical music?
Do I like clowns?
Do I like my handwriting?
Do I like roller-coasters?
Do I like scary movies?
Do I like shopping?
Do I like to gossip?
Do I like to talk on the phone?
Do I like travelling?
Do I play any instruments?
Do I sleep with the lights on or off?
Do I smile at strangers?
Do I suck or bite lollipops?
Do I talk to myself?
Do I tend to hold grudges?
Do I use earphones or headphones?
Do I use sarcasm a lot?
Do I want any tattoos?
Do I wear glasses?
Have I ever been on a plane?
Have I ever been on tv?
Have I ever been to the hospital?
Have I ever crashed a car?
Have I ever got in trouble with the law?
Have I ever had a rumour spread about me?
Have I ever had braces?
Have I ever pulled an all-nighter?
Have I ever skipped school?
Have I ever started a rumour?
Have I ever thrown up in the car?
How long does it take for me to get ready?
How many relationships have I ever had?
How old was I when I first got my period?
How tall am I?
What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside?
What am I usually doing on a Friday night?
What are my favourite bands?
What are my favourite flowers?
What can I smell in the air?
What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe?
What is my appearance like?
What is my culture?
What is my current wallpaper on my phone?
What is my full name and why did I get it?
What is my greatest strength?
What is my greatest weakness?
What is my guilty pleasure?
What is my Hogwarts house?
What is my most expensive piece of clothing?
What is my most heavily used makeup product?
What is my most used phrase?
What is my most used word?
What is my personality like?
What is my personality type?
What is my religion?
What is my spirit animal?
What is my strangest talent?
What is my zodiac sign?
What is one trend that I completely bought into?
What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try?
What is something I hated as a child that I like now?
What is the last thing I bought?
What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep?
What is the pet I would like to have?
What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten?
What language do I want to learn?
What video games do I play when I want to relax?
What was the last book I read?
What was the last movie I saw?
What word do I always use as an exclamation?
What word do I always use to describe something great?
Where do I currently live?
Which is my favourite season?


Favourites

What is my favourite accent?
What is my favourite animal?
What is my favourite band?
What is my favourite childhood book?
What is my favourite colour?
What is my favourite drink?
What is my favourite flavour of ice cream?
What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day?
What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day?
What is my favourite number?
What is my favourite place on the planet?
What is my favourite radio station?
What is my favourite sandwich?
What is my favourite snack?
What is my favourite song?
What is my favourite swear word?
What is my favourite word?
What is my favourite thing to wear?


People

Do I remember the day I met …?
How are my mother and I similar and different?
What are the compliments I have given other people?
What are the compliments people have given me?
What do my best friend and I have in common?
What gifts would I like to give everyone?
What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose?
Where is my best friend?
Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?
Which teachers inspired me the most?
Who are my favourite characters?
Who are my friends?
Who are my parents?
Who are my sisters?
Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met
Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write?
Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky?
Who is my best friend?
Who is my celebrity crush?
Who is my favourite youtuber?
Who is my role model?
Who is my secret valentine?
Who is someone I admire?
Who is someone that saved me?
Who is the most intelligent person I know?
Who is the most supportive person in my life right now?
Who was the last person I texted?
Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with?
Who would I love to randomly see this week?
Who would I really like to hug?
Who would I really like to punch?
Why am I grateful for …?
Why am I grateful for dad?
Why am I grateful for mum?


Music

A playlist for 12-year-old me
A playlist for throwback Thursday
A playlist for when I’m angry
A playlist for when I’m in love
A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party
A playlist for when I’m sad
A playlist of songs that I have on repeat
A playlist that makes me want to dance
A playlist that makes me want to sing
A playlist to inspire me
A playlist to listen to on the bus/train
A playlist with the classics
A song that really speaks to me
A song that was stuck in my head today
Bands and their logos
Song lyrics
What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle?
What song always brings a smile to my face?

Places

A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning
A place where the customer service made me tip £100
A place where the memories were unforgettable
A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere
A place where the people restored my faith in humanity
How to get to my favourite place
Places I have never been to but want to see.
Somewhere I want to go before I die
Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20
Somewhere I would rather be right now.
What are the popular places in town?
What is the worst place I’ve been to?
Where is my favourite place to shop?
Where was I born?

Lists

A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands

Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).

Places I would like to see.

Sounds I like.

Sounds I dislike.

Sports I like.

Star signs.

The first 5 things I saw on my way home.

The first 5 words that come to mind.

The main roman gods.

The main Greek gods.

Things I don’t own but like.

Things I want to buy.

Top 10 episodes to watch

Top 10 favourite quotes.

Top 10 movies to watch.

Top 10 people I want to meet.

Top 10 places in Manchester.

Top 10 restaurants I love.

What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?

What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?

What tv shows do I always recommend?

What were my favourite tv shows as a child?

What words don’t seem real to me?

Wish list



Experiences/Memories

A memory in summer

A memory in winter

A memory with my family.

A memory with my friends.

I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.

Memories from high school

Special moments I want to witness.

The story behind my first kiss

The story behind my last kiss

The stories behind my scars

What are the memories I never want to forget?

What is my saddest memory?

What is the first thing I remember?

What is the funniest thing I remember?

What was my most embarrassing moment?

What was the happiest day of my life?

What was the last concert I went to?

What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?

What was the most disappointing thing in my life?

What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?

What was the saddest day of my life?

When was I last scared for my life?


Letters

A note to my favourite teachers.

Dear _____, I would like to tell you.

Dear 5-year-old me.

Dear 10-year-old me.

Dear 13-year-old me.

Dear 15-year-old me.

Dear 16-year-old me.

Dear 18-year-old me.

Dear 21-year-old me.

Dear 25-year-old me.

Dear all the boys I’ve liked.

Dear someone I need to forgive.

Letters to my future children.



Questions to answer

A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree?

Advice to any if the new kids at sf.

Am I a bad loser?

Am I a good liar?

Am I a writer?

Am I an artist?

Am I good at giving advice?

Am I happy with myself?

Am I happy with the person I’ve become?

Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend?


Books I always reread

Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Do I admit when I’m wrong?

Do I believe that people are capable of change?

Do I belong here?

Do I hold grudges?

Do I have trust issues?

Do I like confrontation?

Do I live or do I just exist?

Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it?

Do I really want a cat?

Do I trust easily?

Have I ever been bullied?

Have I ever been on a date?

Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough?

Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family?

Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy?

Have I ever had a paranormal experience?

Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad?

Have I ever had a song or poem written about me?

Have I ever hopelessly failed a test?

Have I learnt from my mistakes?

How am I feeling?

How do I find comfort when I’m sad?

How do I vent my anger?

How do I want to be remembered?

How could I avoid getting hurt?

How does a (any appliance around the home) work?

How I think will determine how I live – agree or not?

How would I define my sense of humour?

What am I like when I’m angry?

What am I most afraid of?

What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness?

What did I like about being a kid?

What did I want to be when I was younger?

What do I admire most in others?

What do I hate about sf?

What do I hate most about myself?

What do I love most about myself?

What do I notice first when I see someone?

What do I think about selfies?

What do I think about the most?

What do I think could be improved in the educational system?

What do I think people think of me?

What do I touch first when I stick my arms out?

What do I wish I didn’t miss?

What do I wish for every night?

What does a rainbow mean to me?

What fictional character do I wish was real?

What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?

What is an experience that has made me stronger?

What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without?

What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality?

What is my biggest what if?

What is my greatest achievement?

What is my greatest failure?

What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me?

What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about?

What is one thing I am interested in learning more about?

What is something that makes me feel vulnerable?

What is the best gift I’ve ever received?

What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’?

What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life?

What is the ideal age to be and why?

What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in?

What is the nicest thing about a person?

What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far?

What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far?

What makes a great relationship?

What makes me smile?

What motivates me to succeed?

What part of my life would I relive if I could?

What part of my life would I remove if I could?

What question am I afraid to tell the truth to?

What questions would I ask to get to know someone better?

What was I doing at 12am last night?

What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older?

What was my favourite subject in school?What was the last lie I told?

What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry?

What will I do in university?

What would I change about my sf?

What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die?

What would I change about the world?

What would I like to change this year?

What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me?

What would I do in the event of an apocalypse?

What would I have to see to cry tears of joy?

What would I want written on my tombstone?

When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd?

When do I feel most at peace?

When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone?

When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have?

When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret?

When was the last time I cried?

Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time?

Where do I want to live?

Where is the best place to get pizza?

Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere?

Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty?

Who do I get on with better, girls or boys?

Who do I miss the most?

Who do I need the most?

Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning?

Why couldn’t I sleep last night?

Why do I hate insects?

Why do dogs hate me and I hate them?

Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started?

Would I ever spread gossip?

Would people consider me a diva?

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Keep reading

smile ✦ peter parker

summary : as the adopted daughter of none other than tony stark, you have a myriad of responsibilities. babysitting peter parker probably wasn’t supposed to be one of them. not that you’re complaining.

word count : 4.7k (also known as the longest thing I’ve ever written)

author’s note : ur adopted b/c not everyone is white and i don’t want anyone to feel excluded from reading this due to the fact tony is white (and yes ik there are interracial couples i just want everyone to feel included i want to make sure whoever wants to read this can without feeling weird about it b/c i know it is something that bothers people in the fanfic community okay bye enjoy my loves.)

   Tony Stark was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was the billionaire, he was the genius, the philanthropist, and the notorious playboy in his younger years. Most notably, however, was that he was Iron Man. He was marveled at by the entire world, him and the group of heroes that stood beside him; the Avengers, as they called themselves. To you, however, he was your father. 

   A terribly overprotective one, at that. 

  Of course, this was only to be expected of a father, even a foster one, but the lengths the man went to in order to keep his only daughter out of whatever he deemed trouble were rather extensive. You rarely ever left the Avengers tower, and if you did you were accompanied by a team of people you could only describe as rip off Secret Service men. Sometimes, Natasha would replace them, or Steve, but that was a rare occurrence. You were homeschooled by the best tutors his money could pay for- this particular move was less about refining your education and more about keeping you away from any boy in the five boroughs. 

   You chose to spend majority of your time reading in your room and training, always wary of anyone who approached you about being a friend. Your surname meant everything to people, especially the girls that wandered around Manhattan desperate to become the bestie of the daughter of the richest man in New York. You loved your dad with all your heart, but the stigma that ran with the Stark name would never stop irritating you. 

   That, and the impromptu plans he threw at you on a regular basis. 

   “Miss Stark, your father is requesting access to your room. He knows you hate it when he barges in.” Vision drifted into your room without warning, making you jump. You yanked your earbuds out of your ears, giving him a look. 

   “I hate when anyone barges in, Vision. That includes you, too.” You pushed your chair away from your desk, placing your pen on the desk and shutting your notebook. “Tell him he can come in if he lets me become an Avenger.” You raised your voice at this, knowing he would hear you. 

   “He says that he’ll consider it if you let him in.” 

   You raised your eyebrows. “Touché.” You motioned for the door to open, and your father walked into the room, immediately taking his pristinely polished shoes off and lying down on your bed. You stared at him.“Dad, it’s not cool to wear sunglasses inside. You look lame.” 

   Tony Stark rolled his eyes at you. “It’s called a look, sweetheart.” You laughed, pretending to nod in agreement. He placed his hands behind his head as you spun your chair back around to your desk. “What are you working on?” 

   “Something for Bruce,” you muttered, pen cap between your teeth as you continued to jot down important points from his numerous lab reports. You were going to have to hand in a full analysis of his findings for your end of term science paper, and he was more than willing to aid you. “Science report.” 

   “My daughter, beautiful and intelligent, my flesh and blood,” Tony declared proudly. 

   “Dad, I love you to the death, but I’m still not your biological kid,” you smiled all the same, though, and he knew behind the tough exterior you were happy to hear his expressions of admiration. 

    “Who needs a biological kid when I’ve got this great, wonderful adopted one right in front of me.” 

   Not looking up from your notebook, you said, “You’re really laying it on thick today. I’m all of those things, obviously, but I know you want something. So, what is it?” You paused, then said, “Thank you, by the way.” 

   “You sure we’re not related?” He sat back up, clasping his hands together. “What do you say about Germany?” 

   “Nice enough place I guess, interesting history, why?” 

   “I kind of need you to go there for two weeks with me.” 

   With a groan, you dropped your pen and held your face in your hands. “Another surprise trip? Dad, I have school. I have homework! Do you see this?” You held up the thick stack of reports from Banner’s lab, waving them around. “This is gonna be, like, my life’s work.” 

   Tony shook his head. “Kids these days and their homework. Seriously. When I was at school I would have taken any opportunity to shirk my responsibilities.” 

  “You did do that.”

    He waved his hand. “Technicalities. Anyway, as you know the Avengers have been disassembled. Sokovia Accords and all that bullshit. I assume you’ve been keeping up?” 

   “Hard not to.” It was true. Anything in the news was about the great split of the infamous team, Captain America vs Iron Man. It was impossible to turn on the television without hearing about it. And, considering you lived underneath the same roof as half of them, it was quite literally not an option to be ignorant to what was going on. 

   “Good,” he grinned proudly again. If there was one emotion that the man felt whenever he was around, it was proud. Nearly everything you did made him beam with pride, and if you had been placed into an actual high school, there was no doubt in his mind that the person at the top of every single class would be you. You excelled no matter the circumstances. “So, to sum up, there’s gonna be a big showdown in Germany. Western style, naturally. Guns blazing and everything.” 

   Your eyes lit up and you nearly flew out of your chair, rushing over to him. “Oh my god, are you finally gonna let me fight? You’ve seen my training, right? I’m getting so good. I’m like, practically Natasha level good. She’s been showing me that move where I can snap people’s necks with my thighs and-” 

   “First of all, your thighs are not going around anyone’s neck, so jot that down,” he interrupted. Your enthusiasm visibly deflated. “I need you to kind of watch over this kid who’s coming with us. He’s from Queens. You love Queens.” 

   “You’re making me babysit?” You flopped down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. “C’mon, dad, I’m sixteen. That’s practically an adult. I think I should be allowed to fight this time. I’m Avenger worthy.” 

   “Practically an adult is not the same as literally an adult, as in over eighteen.” You groaned again. “Don’t call it babysitting, anyway. He’s your age. Well, he’s a few months younger, but that doesn’t matter. Just call it… hanging out with a good kid that’s fighting for your dear old dad and making sure he doesn’t get into trouble in Germany or annoy Happy too much.” He patted your knee, standing up. “We leave in the morning, kiddo, so pack up.” 

   “How come he gets to fight if he’s younger than I am?” 

   “’Cause he’s not my daughter. Goodnight, light of my life.” He kissed your forehead before leaving, giving you another encouraging smile.

   “Goodnight, pain my ass,” you grumbled as he left. He popped back in, a stern expression on his face. “If I watch your new protégée can I become an Avenger?” Tony rubbed a hand over his eyes. Teenage girls were exhausting. 

   “We’ll talk about it.”


   You’re sitting at your breakfast table with suitcases piled next to you when Peter Parker strolls into your life with happiness in his every footstep because he is just so, so glad to be there. You’re spooning cereal into your mouth when he sits down directly across from you, a video camera cupped in his soft looking hands and the little red button clicked on, meaning that he is recording you. You place your spoon back into the bowl of milk that is dusted with cinnamon sugar from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch you’ve been eating for the past ten minutes. 

   “Do you mind?” 

   “Mind what?” He asked, peeking up from behind his camera. You gestured toward it, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. 

   “The camera. I’m kind of still in the middle of eating breakfast in my pajamas,” you leaned forward, switching it off. “You must be the Spider-Boy.” The chestnut haired boy feels a blush creeping up his neck and settling along his cheekbones when you say that. 

   “Oh, did Mr. Stark tell you that?” He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly. “Um, it’s Spider-Man, actually.” He mumbled the man part, knowing fully well that he didn’t look like much of a man in the eyes of anyone, his eyes casting down as he fidgeted with the strap on his camera. 

   “Oh good,” you nodded. You took another spoonful of cereal. “I like that better. Nicer ring to it.” You grabbed your box of sugary breakfast and pushed it toward him, an offering. 

   “Huh?” He was a bit dazed. He stared at the box in front of him and then realized he had been doing that for far too long of a time to be considered normal. “Oh, right, um, sure, thanks!” He opened the box and took a handful, shoving it in his mouth. You kept eating your cereal, silently staring at the bowl and willing yourself not to laugh at the boy in front of you. With all his nerves, he was still a bundle of energy and cheerfulness, and, well, let’s face it, he was sort of adorable. “So, you think my name’s cool?” He tried to sound suave, charming, as he said it, tried to smirk at you, but he stopped when he realized that he looked stupid.

   You gave him a half smile. “It’s pretty good.” His face positively lit up with happiness to be taken seriously, and you knew the feeling too well. You stuck out your hand. “Oh, forgot to introduce myself-” 

  “Y/N Stark, adopted daughter of Mr. Stark, probably the smartest girl in all of New York and, uh, correct if I’m wrong but… Black Widow’s best student as well as Bruce Banner’s apprentice.” 

   You gaped at him. The blush he had been sporting crept up to his ears and made his nose turn the shade of a strawberry. “Well, uh, yeah,” you said, flustered. “Should I creeped out or flattered?” 

   “Flattered, please.” The genuine worry in his eyes as he leaned forward made you laugh. He had an endearing personality. 

   “Flattered it is.” You watched the slow sigh of relief leave his mouth, his hands flying up the mess of hair atop his head and fixing it distractedly. Your dad walked into the room, and Peter practically fell out of his chair trying to stand up and seem presentable. Your slouch was indicative that you didn’t care much. He was just your dad. “Morning, pops,” you slid the box over his way.  

   He frowned at it.” Y/N, that stuff is crap. I don’t know why you eat it.” 

   “Wanda and I like it,” you said defensively, a slip of the tongue. You knew your dad was going to get annoyed at the mention of the Scarlet Witch, who had evaded and ignored his attempts at keeping her powers under control. “It’s good. High quality. Right, Peter?” You whipped your head toward him. 

   He felt his heart give a little tug. He grabbed the box out of your hand and shoved more cereal in his mouth, the cinnamon sugar sticking to his lips. “Yeah, Mr. Stark. Best stuff ever,” he said through a mouthful of it. Tony gave them an amused glance, picking up your two heaviest suitcases and beckoning you both to the landing strip. Peter swallowed his food. 

   He didn’t even like Cinnamon Toast Crunch that much. He was just thrilled that you knew his real name.


   Everything about this kid was infuriatingly dorky in the cutest way possible. You came to this conclusion as you boarded the jet with ease, sitting in your usual spot by the window and greeting Happy with your typical friendly smile and idle chitchat. Peter stumbled onto it with awe written across his features as he stared around the place, touching nearly everything much to Happy’s dismay. 

   “Haven’t you been on a plane before?” The man asked, growing irritated with the way the kid was filming everything. You saw Peter zoom in on Happy’s face and grinned out your window. 

   “Nope, never!” Peter exclaimed, his video camera still in front of him as he captured every detail of his trip. 

   “Well, sit down so we can take off,” Happy said gruffly, grabbing Peter’s shoulders and forcefully placing him into a seat. 

  Peter sat still for a moment, then hopped over to the seat next to you. He placed his camera in front of him on the tray table. “Y/N, smile for the camera. I’m recording.” You looked at him, then turned to the camera and gave it a deadpan stare. You even threw in a slow blink. “Good enough,” he shrugged. He kept it recording as he shifted in his seat so that his entire body was facing you, his chin resting in his hand and his elbow on your armrest. His gaze was sort of nice. “So, Miss Stark, I have a few questions.” 

   “Um, okay, shoot,” you closed your book that you had open on your lap. “I’m not that interesting, just so you know.” 

  “I think you’re interesting,” he assured you. You heard Happy let out a choked laugh at Peter’s flirting attempt, but it was just another thing you found sort of lovely. It was a genuine compliment. “What’s your favorite subject in school?”

   You’d been expecting the typical what’s it like being Tony’s daughter spiel, and you were pleased to get an actual question about yourself for once. “I like everything, I guess. I kind of love school, but I don’t go to a conventional school, so. Training is cool, I like that a lot.” 

   “You train with Black Widow, I have to ask- can you show me some moves? I need to refine my technique before the fight,” he explained.  

    “Do you wanna learn how to crush people with your thighs?”

   “Wow! Do you think I could? Could you teach me? That’s so cool,” he beamed, turning to the camera for a split second with an overexcited look. 

   You pursed your lips, staring out your window for a minute. You were up in the air by now, and there was long flight ahead of you. “Maybe. If my dad is okay with it. I have to check.” Peter looked confused, 

   “Why wouldn’t he be?” 

   “He’s, you know, really overprotective.” You put your first against the cheek, leaning the same way that Peter was. You sighed. “I don’t have a lot of friends. Which is fine, but I can’t even attempt to go make any because I have a whole freaking SWAT team on my ass the minute I step out of the tower because he’s so worried about my safety.” You let your head hit the window, your eyes rolling skyward. “And that makes no sense because-” 

   “You’re really strong and stuff. You can protect yourself,” Peter finished. 

    “I think you know me a little too well, Peter,” you said, poking him lightly in the arm. “But… yeah, exactly. I don’t really get to do anything fun. I don’t have adventures. Sure, reading is fun and studying is fun for me and training is great and I love hanging out with everyone in the tower but I’m still a teenager. No fun for me, though. My life is pretty boring, sorry if that makes your little video diary suck.” You stuck your tongue out at his camera.  

   “No worries,” he said, taking it off the tray table and turning it toward you. “Tell me every boring detail, Miss Stark.” 

   “As long as you stop calling me Miss Stark.” 

   “You’ve got a deal.” 

   It was a seven hour trip, and you both passed out by the three hour mark after Peter had pried every excruciating detail from your life out of you. You hated sleeping on airplanes, but your head was slumped against his shoulder and his arm was knocking against your own and his sweatshirt was as soft as pillow. You remembered the shy glance he had given you just before you knocked out on his shoulder for the remainder of the flight. He had a sweet smile. 


    Peter filmed absolutely everything. He filmed himself getting off the plane and then filmed you getting off the plane and nearly shoved the camera in Happy’s face until he threatened to break it and Peter backed off. He radiated enthusiasm. “Look at this, and this, and this, oh shit wow that’s so cool look at this! Oh man this is good stuff!”

   “Peter this is literally just the airport how am I supposed to take you around the actual city?!”

   “OH WOW Y/N have you seen this!” 

    “Yes, Peter!” 

     He zoomed in on your face, your devoid of emotion look appearing again. “Are you ever gonna smile for the camera?” He gave you a pout, doe eyes and all. You turned away. 

   “No. I’m supposed to be babysitting you, please be behave.” You touched your fingers to the bridge of your nose, dragging Peter to a couch. “Please sit. We’re getting the hotel reservations checked.” 

   “Do they juice boxes? I’m really thirsty.” He was just trying to make you laugh at this point, and annoying you was kind of funny for him. You let out an involuntary chuckle when he pretended to claw at his throat, throwing himself on the ground. 

   “I’ll make sure they have juice boxes for you, Petey. You’re such a seven year old, geez.” You pretended to gag. 

   Looking offended, Peter replied, “I’m actually twelve.” 

   Jokingly, you said, “You’re a twelve year old that’s going to get a punch in the face if you don’t settle down right now.” He stood up, directly in front of you with his light eyes and little grin, another feverish looking heat burning at his face. Nevertheless, he still said, “It’d be an honor to get beaten up by you.” 

  His voice, the sincerity he carried within it despite the ludicrous statement, made you feel those famed butterflies fluttering inside you. Maybe it was the way he looked into your eyes as he said it. Maybe it wasn’t. But something within you was starting to like Peter Parker, and you’d barely known him for twenty four hours. 

   Then again, it was hard to not like Peter. The kid was just so damn likable. 


   He had known it from the moment he first set his eyes upon you that day in the tower that he was a goner. If he had known it then, just from sitting down across from you with nothing to him but his lanky figure and a suit that resembled a onesie more than it did a costume fit for a hero such as he, he was sure of it now, a week and a half later. 

   Every day had been the same routine. He’d be up bright and early in the morning so you could help with him his training, teaching him how to utilize the suit your father had given him with ease rather than his usual tactic of jumping into everything blind. You’d been the one to help come up with nearly all of the web shooter combinations. He didn’t know all of them yet, or close to half of them, but he was progressing wonderfully. 

   After training, you’d give him the tour of your favorite places around Germany, close enough to where you’d both be able to get back to the hotel before dark. He filmed the both of you constantly, but you shied away from the cameras every time without fail. He couldn’t understand why, but he didn’t push. He just liked filming in general, and would accept you not smiling in any of his clips as long as you were still in there. 

   There was a beautiful sense of normalcy that came with hanging around Peter. You reveled in it. No one had ever made you laugh so hard with his ridiculous attempts at jokes or made you smile so much at his shy flirting skills that clearly needed to be revisited. 

   It was okay. You didn’t mind. And the fact that you didn’t tease him for it made him so, so happy. 

   Then, came the day of the fight. Peter had his camera out, he was dressed in his spidey suit, and you were standing there next to him dictating who he should and shouldn’t go after. 

   “Don’t go after Wanda ‘cause she could obliterate you in two seconds and Cap could crush you, too, but he won’t ‘cause he’s really nice like that. Bucky won’t care as much, though, so don’t do that- Ant-Man seems pretty cool and harmless but I don’t have as much intel on him and Peter if you get hurt you have to go hide somewhere-” 

   “I’m not gonna get hurt,” he said confidently. 

   You ignored him. “I’m gonna be in your earpiece, figuratively speaking, so I’ll hear everything you do and if you talk I’ll be able to hear you and you can hear me. So, just… keep me updated.” Peter took off his mask for a second, hair sticking up everywhere from the static. You leaned up, smoothing it back into place. Everything about him was soft. You wanted to curl up in it and stay there for as long as you could. 

   “I’ll be fine, Y/N, don’t worry,” Peter placed his hand on your shoulder. You felt your face heat up. 

   “I- I’m not worried.” You totally were. “I know you’ll be fine.” You didn’t want him getting hurt. “I just want you to be careful.” You didn’t want him to fight. 

   You could’ve sworn his face fell a  bit when you said you weren’t worried, but he squeezed your shoulder anyway. Without a moment’s hesitation, you threw your arms around him, your nose pressing against his neck as you took a deep breath. He stood there for a second without doing anything until he realized that if he didn’t hug you back, he’d be the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. You felt his surprisingly defined arms hug you back. 

   You didn’t look at him when you pulled away. You stared at the spider emblazoned on his chest, gave him a quick good luck, then departed from the room. You sat on your own hotel bed with a rapidly beating heart.

    The nerves were killing you. Ten more minutes. You opened your laptop and pulled up the system that would allow you to communicate across Team Stark. You were more focused on your dad and Peter. You tapped into your dad’s earpiece after placing the headset on. “Dad?” You spoke into the microphone. 

   “Hey, kiddo, everything okay?” 

   “Y-Yeah I just-” you took another breath. “Be safe. I love you.” 

   “I love you too, Y/N. Are you sure everything is okay over there?” 

   “Can you just make sure Peter gets out okay? If he gets hurt, bring him right back, please. That’s it.” Maybe it was a stupid request in someone else’s eyes, but you needed Peter to make it back in one piece. Tony Stark looked over at Peter Parker, crouching in his hiding spot and fumbling around with the gloves of his suit and gave the kid a knowing smile. Of course that was the one his  daughter fell for in the end. Perfectly fitting. 

   “I’ll make sure.” You knew your father couldn’t see the grateful smile on your face, the sigh of relief that fell past your lips when he spoke these words.

   Peter Parker, I swear if you make it out of this, I will smile like an idiot in every single one of your stupidly adorable video diary things. I swear. Just be safe.


 “Your black eye is awful,” you told him, dabbing at it with more cream. “Totally ruins your face.”

   “I think I look manly.” 

   “You think incorrectly.” You stepped back, your fingertips tilting his chin up so you could examine it further. “I think I got the worst of it. You did really well, Peter. Exceptionally well.” His face was glowing from your compliment. 

   “Can I get on that tape?” He asked excitedly, ducking under his hotel bed for his camera. You nodded, and he switched the camera on. He held out his arm so that you were both in frame. And you smiled. He forgot all about what you were supposed to say the moment that beautiful smile appeared there. “I- wow, Y/N.” 

   “What?’ 

    His stare was kind as it usually was. “You just-” he paused. “Your smile is really, really beautiful.” There was no way for you to turn away from the camera this time and you were left grinning like a lovestruck idiot at the boy in front of you, leaning up on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

  “Thank you.” 

  You slept the entire plane ride the way you had the last time, curled up against Peter. This time, it was intentional. One of your arms was flung across his waist and his was wrapped around your shoulders, the sweatshirt he had came in now swaddling you cozily. There were two separate cars waiting for you. You stood in between them when the flight got off, the sleeves of his sweater hanging off your hands as you reached out to grab his. He felt you push a piece of paper into his hand. “You better call me, Peter Parker. I’ll be really upset if you don’t.” 

   He wrapped you suddenly in an embrace that lifted you off your feet just a little bit, his lips pressing against your temple. “I’ll call you every day.” 


   He kept true to his word. Every day without fail, your phone rang with a call from Peter, and you fell asleep on the phone with him more often than not. If you weren’t on the phone with him, you were texting him, and if you weren’t doing that, you wished that you were. The consistent communication was better than nothing, but regardless, you missed his presence. You missed the way you felt walking next to him as he explained why chocolate ice cream was so clearly better than vanilla. You just missed him. 

   “Peter?” You held the phone to your ear, nestled in your blankets already even though it was barely nine o'clock. His sleepy voice mumbled out a yes? “Would it be stupid if I said that I missed you?” 

  She could practically hear his wide smile through the phone. “Of course not. I miss you, too. So much. Probably more than you miss me.” 

   “That’s so not true!” She scoffed. 

    “Wanna bet?” His tone was mischievous, no longer the hoarse, pretty voice of a boy just waking up from his nap. “Open your bedroom door.” 

    “Are you joking?” 

    You hung up the phone, throwing back your covers and not caring one bit that your hair was a dripping mess from your shower or that you were wearing  a terrible set of hello kitty pajamas that weren’t meant for anyone over the age of ten based on the size of the top. You nearly tackled him to the ground when you saw him standing in your doorway, a happy squeal escaping your lips. You were surprised he even got in, considering your dad wasn’t home, but you figured Vision had let him in. Vision always had a way of knowing. 

   “Have I ever told you that you have a really pretty smile?” Peter’s lips hovered over yours, almost hesitant. You took the initiative to kiss first, your hands delving into his silk-like hair. There was no point in waiting anymore. Your noses bumped together clumsily when he tilted his head back, admiring. You could feel your whole being light up when he gazed at you the way that he did, in that admiring, careful, Peter way of his. 

   “Careful, Spidey,” You warned, hands on his chest as you stared right back up at him. 

   “Careful of what?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

   “You’re going to make me fall in love with you one of these days if you keep looking at me like that.” It was only the truth, and you were a honest person.

   “That’s sort of the plan,” he shrugged in a seemingly careless way, but he couldn’t hide it. He was an open book. An open book who loved you, and the way that you smiled at him when he pulled back his sleeve to reveal a web shooter, a strange glint in those brown eyes of his as he said, “You up for an adventure?” 

7

On the Coastal Tip of Jamaica, actress Candice Patton stands barefoot in a sheer yellow dress before settling turquoise waters. Her arms sway back and forth as the Caribbean air billows through the thigh-high slit. She gives the camera a small smile as the sun radiates off her skin and the tide tiptoes towards the shore. The Instagram boomerang I’m glancing at has now been viewed over 200,000 times by her 1.2 million-user following.

It’s mid-June; a median between two milestones in Candice’s life - two weeks before her 29th birthday, and two weeks after the Season 3 finale of The Flash aired in homes nationwide. The superhero fiction show, based on the DC Comics character of the same name, stars Candice as Iris West, opposite Grant Gustin as the titular hero, Barry Allen. In the last three years, The Flash has garnered over 15 awards, with Candice herself most recently winning a Saturn Award for “Best Supporting Actress on Television”. It makes sense that CBS Watch! Magazine would send her over to the Caribbean for a photoshoot. 

The CW star calls me from her residence in Los Angeles on a Friday afternoon, after her trip in Jamaica. I expect her to sound exhausted from her jet setting, but she’s not. To my astoundment, there’s a lot on her mind. I come to realize that, unlike Iris West, Candice Patton is equipped with a power of her own.

Keep reading

Fruits - Peter Parker

request -  hi! i was wondering if you could write something about a peter x fem!reader where she’s homeschooled and doesn’t have friends and then she meets peter and they become close ? thanks!! 

a/n - i changed the request up a bit, and made the reader tony’s daughter to give it an even more ‘fluffy’ feel to it and i think it failed horribly BUT thank you so much for 1k!!! i can’t even believe all the love i’m getting for these fics, it makes me so happy to know you guys like them :) don’t forget to request a peter parker/spider-man fic if you’d like and follow!

I sat at the dining table just across from the living room, headphones in as I watched a math lesson that was just uploaded onto my school’s website. It was just around 10 AM when my school day started, a bowl of freshly cut fruits on the table as I took notes in my small book, sometimes glancing around to see if something more entertaining was going on.

Being the kid of a billionaire had it’s perks, but some downsides to it as well. Sure, I was able to access anything through money, but I was stuck at home a good 99% of my life, hidden away from the public eye at the request of my father. I’ve never been able to go to school and have a ‘normal’ life, with my only friends being the middle aged people the world calls the Avengers.

I paused the lesson and took my headphones out, heading out to the kitchen counter to pour a cup of coffee for myself, only to hear the door opening.

Keep reading

Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Doing Humor Right

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a show that has been praised by both critics and fans as one that is not only hilarious, but progressive as well. It starts out with a squad of detectives who have to adjust to a new Captain named Raymond Holt, who just so happens to be a gay black man. Jake Peralta—the Jewish protagonist whose only unsolvable mystery is how to grow up—butts heads with him almost immediately. The show goes through its classical sitcom scenarios as well as crime shenanigans and often surprising season finales as they find themselves in dangerous situations.

What’s so remarkable and surprising about this is show is how they deal with humor with such a diverse cast. When any of the characters joke about their ethnicity or their sexuality, it isn’t aimed at the white and straight viewers and that makes a huge difference. For example, in one episode Holt talks about how he made a bad impression on his husband’s parents by mistaking two different compositions for each other. When asked by Jake if that’s really all it took for them not to have approved of the two of them, Holt clarifies that “they’re huge homophobes that think I made Kevin gay with my magic genitalia.”

Originally posted by holt-cozner

This, like many lines, are meant to pander to those in the same demographic as the character who spoke it. Often times on TV and in movies, queer and POC characters are played off as jokes that the privileged are supposed to laugh at. “See, they’re not like us, isn’t that so bizarre and funny?” However, Brooklyn Nine-Nine understands that queer and non-white characters also watch television like everyone else. They make a major effort to be inclusive and inoffensive with their humor while still being hilarious. Even those who don’t watch the show probably know the gag with Jake playing a guitar loudly and screaming in an attempt to annoy someone into confessing, or the scene where Jake accidentally calls Holt “dad” and then tells him he sees him as a “bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me” rather than a father figure.

Originally posted by alexanderburrsir

Not only that, the show also turns many tropes on its head and does its best to make characters as fleshed out as possible. None of them even come close to being stereotypes. Jake seems like the typical male protagonist who thinks he’s better than he actually is and belittles his coworkers, then turns out to be a genuinely caring goofball who learns to work as a team and punches a homophobe in the face. Amy Santiago seems uptight and too dedicated to her work to have any fun, yet even while she’s driven she also participates and leads in most of the team hijinks.

It has garnered critical as well as public acclaim and hopefully its success can set an example for future shows and they way they deal with diverse casts. 

It’s not perfect–sometimes the fat jokes can be rather excessive and uncomfortable to sit through. There was a particular scene where Gina calls Amy an “asexual nerd who can only be friends with service animals” that I found rather tasteless. It takes a while at first to find its rhythm, yet upon rewatching the first season I found it picks it up quicker than I remembered. Nothing can be absolutely flawless, yet the cast show they genuinely care about those who watch it and that says a lot. 

Even besides all that, it’s a genuinely fun show and one of my favorite sitcoms. Its happy, light-hearted tone is a blessing and it’s often like visual comfort food. As the premiere of fifth season is about to begin, now is as good as any time to binge it. I fully recommend Brooklyn Nine-Nine regardless of who you are.

OTP Things:

1. “I’m not dancing in the rain. Why? Because I’m not getting wet and you can’t even dance.”

2. “Canned spaghetti rings is not gourmet. I don’t care what you did in college.”

3. “No cats, no dogs, no ferrets. Just a fish. No that doesn’t mean a frog, turtle, or fucking lizard.”

4. “I don’t wanna go to your moms-s-s.”

5. “We can share the shower, you know that right? It’s actually encouraged at this point.”

6. “Hey, buy me a cookie or no sex for like two years.”

7. “I was gone for two days and every dish in this freakin’ house is dirty.”

8. “All of our white clothes are pink because you just HAD to wash your new tee shirt.”

9. “Have fun explaining to the priest why you have a boner during our wedding class.”

10. “This is my desk. This is my office. This is my space. You’re only allowed in here when you’re sick, so I can keep an eye on you.”

11. “I thought you were drinking water for once…that ended with me choking on vodka.”

12.“Dude, you’re more of a man than me. Wtf.”

13.“Wait, your dad isn’t going to walk you down the aisle with a shotgun?”

14.“Babe, we need to talk. When you cuddle with me, your knee always squashes my junk.”

15.“Your nail polish got all over my Xbox paddle!”

16.“If you want to get to the coffee pot, kiss me and end this war.”

17.“I lock the door every night so no one can steal you from me.”

18.“That’s my ex. Makeout with me and make him jealous.”

19.“Scrape your goddamn plate off BEFORE you put it in the sink!”

20.“YOU USED THE LAST OF THE TOILET PAPER AND DIDN’T GET ANY MORE?! I AM STRANDED!”

21.“Thanks to you, the whole house smells like Taco Bell.”
“It’ll smell like something different soon, just give it a couple hours.”

22.“You’re my best friend.”
“My dog’s my best friend.”

23.“Did you just poop with the door open?”

24.“I didn’t have any underwear, so I stole yours.”

25.“No, you ARE talented. You’re the only one I know who can lay in bed and watch the same TV show for 47 hours straight.”

26.“Don’t go to work. You’re mine, not theirs.”
“But you don’t pay me to be here?”
“Are you a prostitute?”

27.“My car’s broken, I have to walk to the store.”
“My nephew’s bigwheel is in the garage. Take that, I have.”

28.“It’s just a little cut, don’t worry.”
“No, let me be your doctor.”
*gets peroxide and box of Hello-Kitty Bandaids*

29.“Hey, babe, does my makeup look okay?”
“I like you better without it. But you’re gorgeous, as always.”

30.“Pink and blue only go together if it’s cotton candy. Go change.”

31.“You have a huge job interview. Get dressed, or I’m throwing your PS4 in the pool!”

32.“You drool when you sleep, and I don’t know. I might just go tell everyone if you don’t give it back NOW!”

33.“Baby, I’m sorry. It’s checkers, please talk to me.”

34.“You didn’t text me back, so I checked your Facebook to see if you were dead.”

35.“You made me breakfast? You know our anniversary is in two days right?”
“Fuck. I was pretty fucking close this year”

36.“Rock, paper, scissors to see who gets up and turns off the light.”

37.“Look, cousin Larry will flirt with you. We’re pretty sure he’s got diseases. So if you do cheat on me, you’re fucked.”

38.“I really don’t like it when you get mad and you start mumbling in another language.”

39.“Footy pajamas! Now we can match!”

40.“Oh, so you think you’re a better driver? Prove it?” *lets go of wheel*

41.“You bought tampons when you went shopping? That’s some Prince Charming shit, right there.”

42.“Why aren’t you wearing lipgloss? I like tasting strawberry when I kiss you.”

43.“Can you explain why there are sheets strung up around the apartment?”
“I built a fort.”

44.“You scare me when you watch those cop shows. You could kill me and no one would ever notice.”

45.“Did you just fart?”
“If you want to live, don’t lift the blanket.”

46.“Toast. T-O-A-S-T. Is it that hard to put bread in the toaster?!”

————————————————

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anonymous asked:

can you tell me about the bts ships? not just otp's, brotps too!

YESSsssSSS I CAN TALK ABOUT BTS SHIPS ALL DAY FAM

but ill only talk about the ones im familiar with:

1. YOONMIN (yoongi/jimin):

ok holy shit where the FUCK do i start with yoonmin. they’ve been my bts otp since day 1 so i have a LOT TO FUCKING SAY LOL 

first off, refer to this post as to why i started shipping them, they have a LOT of cute fucking moments predebut and its been a painfully beautiful journey ever since 2013

before we jump in we need to talk about how YOONGI WROTE A SONG FOR JIMIN BECAUSE HE ADMIRES HOW HARDWORKING JIMIN IS. IF THAT AINT REAL THEN GET TF OUT OF MY FACE LMAo like where dat song @ tho yoongs

ok i need to chill, but theres more:

like jimin being yoongi’s #1 cheerleader at ISAC lmao look at him cheer his name in front of all the fans and other idols with ZERO shame, and then there’s yoongi pretending like he doesnt hear him #typical

^ TYPICAL YOONGI. this ship is very love-hate. mostly false pretense of hate on yoongi’s end and WAAAY TOO MUCH SHAMELESS LOVIN on jimin’s end BUT we all know yoongi’s putting up a front. like there’s actually so many subtle moments where he reveals how much he cares for jimin and they kill me every time, like this one:

but then right back to pretending like he dont give a fuck lmfao:

ALSO THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST LEGENDARY YOONMIN MOMENTS, THE “YOU KNOW. I KNOW.” MOMENT (explanation here) :

this whole v app broadcast was a yoonmin fest and it was a blessing. jimin got him a sweater for yoongis birthday and they basically confessed on live broadcast that they’re soulmates. ugh im so sensitive about this moment

in summary:

  • yoonmin are polar opposites and that heart-pulling cold/warm dynamic they have is super shippable, thus the reason why they’re one of the most popular ships in this fandom
  •  yoongi puts on a cold exterior and doesn’t really show his emotions. jimin on the other hand is super openly loving towards others, especially yoongi, and its really fucking cute how yoongi reciprocates sometimes
  • the two really do care about each other a lot though and it’s really heart warming to see. also yoongi had jimin rap on his Tony Montana stage and it was everything

there’s tons more but for the sake of room lets move on

2. TAEKOOK (Taehyung/Jungkook)

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my babysitter later she was my swimming instructor.

When I was 7-8 my mom and dad went out to eat dinner with some friends. The girl they got to babysit was a very nice girl. That night I wanted to watch TV and not get my bath she told me I had to get one and took me to the bathroom and made me undress and get in the tub. I just sat in the water she got upset and took her close off and got in the tub and washed me up. I don’t remember if she did anything at this time but that was the start of me wanting to see nude girls. Forward to when I was 15 I had been taking swim lessons for years and was going to my lifeguard classes and she was the teacher. I was happy to see her again she was 18-19 years old don’t know for sure. One day she told my mom she would bring me home later that she wanted me to give her a hand getting ready for the next day. Mom trusted her so she let me stay. She was setting on the diving board and I was chilling in the water. She called me over and I swam up and grabbed the end of the board and pulled my head up so I could see her. I could tell her nipples were hard then I noticed that her crouch was wet in her bathing suit she had not been in the water. She asked if I liked what I saw. I said yes. She asked if I wanted to see more. of course I did she pulled it to the side and showed me how wet she was. She slid to the end of the board and said touch it. I did then I licked it she was going wild.we had the place to ourselves. we ended up fucking in the pool and on the diving board after that she said she needed me to do one more thing but we would have to go to changing room for it. She had cum more then I could count and I had shot 3 loads inside her sweet hot pussy. She got up nude and said come with me I did when we got to changing room she opened her licker and pulled out some lube she rubbed it on my cock I got hard fast. Then she turned around and lubed her ass and said I need you to slam your hard cock in my virgin ass and do it hard make me hurt. I lined up with that sweet ass hole and in one thrust I went balls deep in her she screamed and said again harder so I went at her ass like an animal she was coming like crazy she almost passed out from the coming I shot a load in her ass and we collapse of a bit then she rolled over and started sicking my cock as soon as it was hard again she climbed on me and slammed her pussy down on my cock and road me tell she squirted then she pulled herself up and lined me up with her asshole again she road my cock in her ass coming the whole time tell I dry fired. We spent lots of time that summer fucking each others brains out. Best summer ever.

Stranger Things/Jim Hopper imagines - Behind closed doors

Originally posted by timmy-chalamet

AN: First of all, Season 2 is my life and my religion and Stranger Things is one of the best tv shows I’ve ever watched honestly how they topped season 1 is mind blowing. Also, me being me and you guys know me well, I was attracted to many characters on this show but Hopper is daddy (in more ways than one). I want to write more stranger things so stick around and send in requests for any character but let’s kick this off with some pure smut. You’re welcome. 

Summary: You get into some trouble and Hopper hides you away in the cabin until it blows over but isolation isn’t for you. (Basically this is what I figure would happen if Hopper had the argument with someone older.)

Pairing(s): Hopper x Reader

Word count: 1,593

Warnings: Reader is 18 so is of age. It’s cliche but you’ll like it, Mentions of dead parents. This is smut. So expect smut. Vaginal fingering, dry humping, rough sex, hair pulling, and strong language ahead. This takes place probably after season 2 as I need to use the cabin.  

You were such an idiot. You were always so careful and this is the time you get caught.

You went to the only person you knew that could help you and it was Jim Hopper. He was friends with your father when your father was alive and you figured your dad asked Hopper to look out for you if anything ever happened to him. 

Unfortunately for you, Hopper said there was nothing you could do except wait it out in hiding for it all to blow over and then took you out into the middle of nowhere to an old cabin and told you that this is where he hid Eleven. 

He told you that he didn’t know how long it would be until the storm passed but you’d be safe there. 

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stay in the dark (a mileven fic)

hey there mileven readers, it’s me, ya girl savannah. the lovely @thecakegoesmeow requested Mike and Eleven hanging out in the cabin and Mike seeing El’s amazing curls for the first time. I hope it’s everything you wanted! (ao3 link) 


“What’s going on in there?” Chief Jim Hopper shouted, for the fifth time- and yes, he was counting. He stood outside the bathroom door, conveniently locked, knocking again. “Come on, kiddo it’s been like an hour.”

“20 minutes!” she yelled from behind the locked door.

Hopper looked around to show the empty room the confusion on his face. “What?” he shouted back.

“You said an hour!” he heard her yell again, “it’s only be twenty minutes.”

“It’s called an exaggeration, El. Wasn’t that your word of the day, what, like a week ago? I’d have thought you would have that one down, you sure seem to like ‘em.” he mused, laughing at his own joke. When the teenager behind the door didn’t respond, Hopper let out a sigh of exasperation. Guess it was still too early to start using Dad Jokes on her.  “Listen, he’s gonna be here any minute. You gonna stay in there the whole time he’s here?”

El’s reflection in the mirror frowned at her, and she untangled her goopy hands from her head. “Stupid hair,” she grumbled, her shoulders falling.

“What’d you say?” she heard her Hopper’s muffled voice ask. El’s forehead collided with the mirror as she let it drop, giving up altogether and letting her hands hang down by her sides.

“My hair.” El half whispered. Her eyes trained in on the the other girl in the mirror, her mind focused on the curls that stuck up way behind her head, willing them to obey and lay flat. They began to fall back in slow motion, El finally smiling. Stay, she prayed.

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stargazer606  asked:

Can you RFA gang being left alone with their new baby for the first time. Like MC had to go grab diapers or something and they are alone with the baby for the first tine

◉ Yoosung 

  • For a while he just watched the baby sleeping
  • He leaned over the crib and contemplated touching the babies little feet
  • But he didn’t want to disturb the infants sleep
  • It was odd for him to be the only one home
  • He wasn’t exactly worried…
  • But it was just strange to think that you weren’t there if he needed help
  • Eventually he got on LOLOL while he waited for you and the baby napped
  • He was in the middle of playing when he heard soft cries coming from the crib
  • It took him a second to remember that you weren’t home
  • Freaked out and jumped up to get the baby
    • “Awww…are we hungry little guy?”
  • He picked him up so delicately and held him in his arms
  • Grabbed a bottle from the fridge and prepared it while rocking the baby
    • “Wanna watch daddy beat some monsters while you eat?” he smiled, “your dad is so good, he can play with one hand!”
  • He felt pretty proud of himself and his multitasking abilities
  • Explained everything he was doing in the game
  • Every now and then he’d stop to give a light kiss to the babies head
  • And he laughed when he got excited at defeating a monster and the baby smiled
    • “Oh! You like that? No one can beat your dad!”
  • He was just about to stop playing when you came home
    • “Oh, he’s awake? How is everything?” you asked
    • “Great, honey. He just ate…and I think he likes watching me play”
  • You laughed as you brought your bags inside
    • “Now don’t start using the baby as an excuse to get online.”
    • “No! He laughed I swear!” he gave you a kiss

◉ Jumin

  • He’s not worried at all when you have to leave and fetch diapers
  • After all, he’s Jumin Han
  • He can handle anything
  • He’s feeling pretty confident until the baby starts crying
  • He holds her at eye level
    • “Now, what’s the matter…”
  • Right, she can’t talk
    • “You’ve just eaten…so you can’t be hungry…”
  • He checks her diaper, but it’s dry
    • “Now, how did MC do this?”
  • He holds her to his chest and starts to pat her back
  • Thinking maybe she needs to burp?
  • After several minutes of her still crying he is starting to get worried
  • He doesn’t want MC to come back and think he can’t handle his child
  • As he begins to rock her he hums a little bit
  • To his surprise she starts to quiet down and relax
    • “Oh? You like that?”
  • He puts on some soft opera music and hums along for her
  • Pretty soon her eyes are closing and she drifts off to sleep
  • Just as you come home
  • You can hear him humming as you creep into the bedroom
  • You smile wide
  • And see him laying her down gently in the crib
  • He closes the door behind you both and silently follows you back to the main room
    • “How was she?” you smile
    • “Just fine, perfect as always,” he kisses you

◉ Zen

  • Ummm…wait, what?
  • Okay he is a little panicky
  • It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he is scared of doing something wrong
  • Has you show where everything is like 5 times
    • “Zen, babe, you know what to do. Stop psyching yourself out,” you laugh
    • “You’re right…I’m sorry,” he takes a deep breath and holds the baby
  • Watches as you leave the apartment
  • Stares down at the baby in his arms for a while and smiles at how cute she is
  • He doesn’t know what to do at first
    • “Wanna help me run some lines?”
  • Sits with her on the couch and reads from his script
    • “I’ve listened to your lies for the last time, Rebecca!” he reads
  • The baby smiles and coos a little laugh
    • “No, you’re supposed to be upset you little cutie. Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to practice,” he kisses her forehead
  • She’s making little faces and he can’t help but take out his phone
    • “Mommy will want to see this!”
  • He’s taking selfies and short videos and sending them to you
    • “Me and the little actress in training are having a good time! Miss you!”
  • When she falls asleep he doesn’t want to put her down
  • Finally you come home and see them quietly sitting together, her nestled in his arms
    • “Why don’t you put her in her crib?” you say sweetly as you place a hand on his shoulder
  • He’s looking down on her and running a finger on her cheek
    • “I will…in a minute,” he smiles

◉ Jaehee

  • She’s got this honestly 
  • She has the babies whole schedule planned out
  • Feeding and nap times
  • She knows approximately how many diapers you guys go through in a day etc
  • She is supermom
  • And she urges you to go out and get some time for yourself
    • “Bring me back a pastry and a coffee from the cafe, please,” she smiles and calls to you as you leave the apartment
  • Plays her favorite Zen musical on the television while she rocks the baby
    • “This is the best number,” she whispers
  • Sings along to it
  • And the baby smiles
  • She’d never let anyone else hear her singing, though
  • Dances a bit while she rocks the baby
    • “I’ll take you to all of the shows you want when you get a little older. Maybe you’ll be an actor like Zen! Oh, but you don’t have to. You can be anything you want and I’ll still love you”
  • She almost lost track of time and rushes to get a bottle prepared
  • Just as it is warm enough he starts to get fussy
    • “I know, I know, here you go baby”
  • Her favorite thing is feeding him
  • Well, almost favorite thing
  • She loves when he falls asleep after eating
  • Which he always does
  • She places his sleeping frame gently in the crib
  • And presses a finger to her lips to let you know that you need to be quiet as you enter the apartment once again
    • “Your coffee and pastry as requested,” you whisper and hand them to her
    • “Thank you so much, I really needed this,” she sighs and gives you a quick kiss before taking a sip

◉ Saeyoung

  • It’s all fun and games until the reality hits that he’s alone with a tiny human that needs him
  • He’s read enough book and articles on the internet to take care of his own child
  • Sighs and reassures himself
  • Places her in his sling as he makes her a bottle
  • He LOVES baby wearing
  • Keeps his hands free
  • So nervous that he’s acting like he’s never made a bottle before in his life
  • Testing the heat on his skin over and over because he’s worried it might be just a little too warm
  • Finally it’s good enough and he sits down to feed her
    • “You have milk, daddy has chips!”
  • Pops a few HBC in his mouth
  • Drops a couple crumbs on her
    • “Whoops!” wipes them off, “don’t tell mommy” >.>….
  • Notices she looks a little weird
    • “What’s that face? You can’t have any chips yet you don’t have teeth”
  • Takes the bottle from her and starts to pat her back for a burp
  • And she spits up all over him
    • “Noooo! My hoodie!” T_T
  • Okay but he laughs a little
  • Takes it off and throws it in the wash
    • “You’re the first and hopefully the last girl to ever puke on me…you’re lucky you’re cute”
  • Grabs a book and holds her in the rocking chair
    • “I know you’re little, but I think you’ll like this story”
  • Reads to her until she falls asleep
  • And even he is dozing off a bit when you come home
  • You take her from him and put her in the crib
    • “Where is your hoodie?” you ask when you notice he isn’t wearing it
    • “She destroyed it,” he cries
  • You just laugh and laugh
    • “I wish I could have been here to see that,” you kiss him
    • “It’s not funny!” he pouts
proof

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Prompt: Reader is the child of Tony Stark. While talking to Peter one day you discover that Flash is bullying him, and decide to take matters into your own hands by showing up to Liz Allen’s party to put an end to it. 

Requested by: n/a

Warnings: slight spoilers for Homecoming, mild swearing, bullying

Word count: 2,805

Notes: I know this isn’t the exact dialogue as in the movie but I’m just working off my memory so bare with me folks. Also this took me several day to write but I love it, even though the ending is kinda shaky but this is very long and I would enjoy you guys sent in requests! My masterlist is in my bio (it’s almost empty but that’ll change) along with a prompt list you can request off of if you want!

Originally posted by zgallagher

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The Arrangement (pt 5)

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

After having a quick dinner, you set the table with Jimin’s food and made your way to your room. You immediately started packing all that you could and all the while made a mental list of all the things you wanted to get at the store tomorrow before your in-laws would be home. 

Jimin came to the kitchen a little while later and he was expecting you to be sitting at the table, eating dinner. But instead, he found some dirty dishes in the sink and his food set on the table. He hated eating alone, but he got used to it at night. Sometimes you would eat with him for breakfast, but you only ever sat in silence. You had one friendly conversation after all these months, so nothing was supposed to change in your dynamic… right? He sighed as he pulled his chair out and sat down. 


The next morning, Jimin woke up to the sound of the vacuum. He turned to look at the clock and was surprised that it was already 9:30. Usually, he would have been at work by this time, but he had taken the day off in order to prepare for his parent’s arrival. He quickly brushed his teeth and took a shower in order to prepare for the long day ahead. He entered the living room a few moments later only to find it more clean than usual. You had always made it a deal to have the house clean, but everything was in tip top shape today. The magazines were all organized neatly on the coffee table and that vacuum patterns on the carpet were left to be admired. He looked up to your side of the house and found a few boxes outside. You exited your room a few minutes later, wiping off some sweat from your forehead. 

You hadn’t heard Jimin wake up and you figured you would just let him sleep in on his day off. You weren’t really sure how much help he would be anyways. 

“So…I guess I’ll move these boxes into my room then?” he asked, walking towards the first box.

“Oh. Uh, good morning. And yeah, that would be great, thank you” you said, thankful for the help. 

Pretty soon, all the boxes were moved into his room and you were almost done cleaning the house. You had been up since 6am, cleaning and packing and rearranging the guest room. You still had so much left to do though and you were tired just thinking about it. 

“How about you go unpack the boxes? I cleared out some space for you in the closet and in the bathroom” Jimin said. He could notice how tired you looked already, but the job had to be done. The act had to be perfect.

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The Secret Book Club Part 2

Originally posted by lokitty

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Content/Warnings: Innuendos, naughty Loki, mentions of sex toys, 50 Shade of Grey (does that class as a warning?), mentions of sexy times (though none yet dear reader, none yet), heavy flirting, Thor is a sweetheart

Words: 2984

Prompt: LOKI X READER WHO SHARE BOOKS AND READ TO EACHOTHER AND LOTS OF FLUFF HHH THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE PLEASE

Part 2 has arrived and OH BOY is it getting hot in here?! I’d like to say a quick massive thank you to my new followers, there’s over 200 of you already and I’ve only been here for a few days! 

@Mrsethedreamqueen, @Asometimestroubledmind, @undiscoveries, @ladydork, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @What-lies-within-us, @mymourningtea @weasley-parker, @deafeninghighheels, @also-known-as-me

Part One
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven (NSFW)

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“Really, Peter, my daughter ?” - Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary : Peter starts to date Tony Stark’s daughter and the Iron Man isn’t sure he’s liking it…Well, actually, he’s pretty sure he hates it. 

I wanted to write something else than Batfam or DC related for once sooooooo…Here’s a Peter Parker story yo. It has probably been written a thousand times, but after I watched “Spider-Man : Homecoming”, all I wanted to do was writing a story with Peter starting to date Tony’s daughter so…yeah. Here it is. Hope you’ll like it : 

My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

__________________________________________________

Peter didn’t really mean for this to happen. Far from it. Oh it would have avoided him a world of troubles if none of this ever happened. 

Nope, totally didn’t mean for this to happen. Besides, when he first met you, he had a massive crush on Liz and had eyes only for her. Oh he was head over heels for her. And, your first encounter wasn’t exactly…a smooth one. 

************

Months earlier, when Peter helped your father against Captain America: 

It was very soon after the big fight between “Team Iron Man” and “Team Captain America” that you met him. Peter was waiting for  “Mr. Stark” in the Avengers’ watchtower, in one of the waiting lounge. 

An annoying elevator music was playing and Peter was awkwardly sitting in one of the ridiculously fancy chair of the lounge, waiting for…Someone. Anyone really. 

He had been waiting for hours. Did…did they forgot about him ? Nooooo, Mr. Stark would never do that to him. 

And when the door opened, Peter’s heart leapt at the thought of talking to his hero again and…A girl he only saw on TV appeared, hurriedly closing the door behind her. 

You. It was you. The famous (Y/N) Stark, only daughter of the even more famous Tony Stark, and therefor, sole heir to the Stark’s fortune.  

You didn’t even notice Peter at first, as he was sitting in the chair furthest to the door, and when you did, the face you made made him flinch. You seemed so unhappy to see him…

-Who the Hell are you ?

You ask without any other preamble. Peter stands up and clears his throat…and oh he wanted to slap himself when instead of telling you his name he said : 

-You’re…You’re (Y/N) Stark ! 

You roll your eyes at him and approach him slowly, giving him a suspicious look before saying : 

-Thank you, without you, I think I would have never known my own name. I’m so grateful right now…

The sarcasm in your voice was so strong Peter thought he could feel it squeezing his heart and self-confidence. It took him way too long before he finally answered : 

-Peee…Pee…Peter Parker. 

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Okayy so I recently ruined my life by watching like 14 years of a tv show in less than a month. So now, yes, I sold my soul to the one and only supernatural fandom (courtesy of @downworlderss)

I just got a couple of remarks for this show and none of it had any structure or order so here we go.

*MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ALL THE SEASONS*

  • This show fucking ruined me, binge-watched seasons 1-12 in about 4 weeks, my pinterest board had over 700 pins in like a week afterwards
  • It started off genuinely creepy and then kinda digressed and idk if I just got desensitised or what
  • John Winchester is a terrible father
  • Bobby Singer is an amazing father
  • I was really confused when season 5 ended because I still had 6 more dvds (and season 12 on amazon prime cause I couldn’t get the freaking dvd because being British sucks sometimes) and I thought it was ending at season 5 because DEAN WAS FINALLY HAPPY DAMNIT
  • It was about season 7 when I got a new pair of glasses ‘cause my eyesight got worse and made the realisation that JENSEN ACKLES HAS FRECKLES WHAT
  • Called it that Chuck was God from the moment I saw him- he literally fucking told them he was a god come onnn
  • Dean’s contact name for Castiel in season 11 or 12 or whatever better be a fucking joke because it’s Cas not Cass
  • I thought I couldn’t hate Metatron more and then he goes and spells his name with a double S and I decided he needed to die
  • The subtitles also say Cass (on amazon anyway) and.. just no, okay? It’s CAS
  • Cried when Cas killed Balthazar
  • Kevin’s life went to absolute shit and idk if it was terrifying or hilarious
  • THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN J2 AND MISH IRL YES
  • Naomi is actually the worst, why do more people not hate on her? She tortured Cas and I am not okay with that I was happier when she died than when Metatron did I’m not joking
  • Sam kinda breaks my heart
  • THE WINCHESTER RELATIONSHIP SAM AND DEAN HAVE SUCH BROTHERLY COMPASSION DIE FOR EACH OTHER ALWAYS
  • Gadreel was decent, okay? I think I genuinely liked him and I don’t care.
  • I mean I know he killed Kevin but still
  • CROWLEY OWNS THE FREAKING MOON
  • Cas, honey, you’re a wonderful person/angel but mannn do you fuck up sometimes, I mean seriously
  • Misha Collins is a fucking incredible human being and his acting skills give me goosebumps I’m deadly serious. What with Cas and Crazy!Cas and Castifer and Godstiel and Levi!Cas and MetaMisha I have so much respect for this man and he is a national treasure.. of America.. damnit
  • I threw something when Charlie died
  • Lucifer is actually really cute (mainly just when he’s in Sam’s head though) but yeah, I think I love satan is this an issue
  • Okay but sometimes it hits me that Jared and Jensen and Misha are just three middle-aged dads running around pretending to stab things and smite demons I think that’s beautiful
  • I think I cried when the angels fell I can’t remember
  • Fuck Adam, I don’t care about him honestly- if he comes back he’s gonna be a crazy bitch- we should all just forget about him like the boys did
  • I’m pretty sure Mary Winchester is actually a terrible mother
  • Jody Mills is a fucking incredible mother, she’s like mum bobby
  • Season 12 made me hate my own nationality because THE BRITISH MEN OF LETTERS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES OKAY I was so happy when the freedomsquad rolled in with their whiskey and flannel and UGHH it was so good to see Britain fall, okay?
  • Apart from Mick, he was okay… before he died
  • Okay, but the season 12 finale
  • I WAS SOBBING FOR A SOLID 14 MINTUES
  • I HAD TO LEAVE MY HOUSE I WALKED UNTIL I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE I WAS
  • TURNED OUT I WALKED 6 MILES FROM MY HOUSE SO I HAD TO WALK 6 MILES BACK
  • 12 MILES BECAUSE OF CAST-FUCKING-IEL
  • Dean’s reaction made me wanna throw myself off a bridge
  • I didn’t even care about the Nephilim by that point
  • Just Cas’s relationship w/ Dean (I am neutral ground between platonic and destiel atm) but whatever you think you cannot deny that these two fucking love each other and it’s just so damn beautiful
  • JIMMY NOVAK IS THE BEST FATHER IN THIS THING
  • The Novak storyline just makes me cry
  • Lucifer Cas was genuinely disturbing at times but this fucking line is now my life

  • Actually so many things Castifer says and just the way Misha portrays all of the alter egos. It’s just amazing.
  • When we’re introduced to Levi!Cas Misha freaking Collins wtf how do you do that crazy thing with your eyes that makes you look like a completely different person
  • When Dean calls Cas his brother and says ‘i want you to know that’ is so fucking important to me because this wonderful being has been hunted by his angel brothers and sisters and Dean Winchester does not idly throw around a word like brother this scene was so special
  • Assbutt
  • Castiel’s wings scorched onto the ground just hit me so fucking hard and goddamnit it I can’t deal with that because he’s actually dead
  • Just… Castiel

-I’ll probably think of a load more this show man…


UPDATE:

  • HOW THE FRICKATY FRACK DID I FORGET GABRIEL
  • The car scene with Gabe and Cas and the parallels between them and the Winchester boys
  • BITCH PLEASE YOU’VE BEEN GOD MORE OFTEN THAN DAD HAS
  • I don’t think I stressed Balthazar enough because his death and the fact that Cas did it killed me.. and him
  • Crowley crowley crowley crowley
  • These boys are frustrating as fuck sometimes get your damn feelings sorted out you are brothers for fucks sake love each other always
  • It’s just when they’re like ‘oh we can’t be brothers anymore how could you do that to me’ and I’m sat there thinking ‘YOU LITERALLY DID THE SAME EXACT THING TO HIM LAST FUCKING SEASON COME ON’
  • Alsooo when Cas is Castifer everyone just seems to forget that, hello, CAS IS BEING POSSESSED BY LUCFIER DO YOU WANNA KEEP HIM SAFE IS HE YOUR FRIEND OR WHAT. And then Dean goes ‘what about Cas’ and I’m marginally satisfied
  • This scene
  • LOVED THIS SCENE
  • I always love Lucifer until he goes after Cas and then I hate Lucifer and when he’s doing something else I love him again
  • This is not devil worship
  • Sam’s exasperation and the bitch face is honestly so funny to me I have no idea
  • SASSTIEL
  • The fact that Cas thinks so little of himself that the only way he believes he can be ‘of use’ to the boys is BY ENDLESSLY SACRIFICING HIMSELF
  • STOP CAS
  • YOU’RE FUCKING LOVED
  • Also the way Dean screams Cas’s name and how Sam has to drag him back through the portal to their side in the season 12 finale PFFFH don’t even get me started
  • So is Gabe alive or what?
  • So is Cas alive or what?
  • SO AM I ALIVE OR WHAT

UPDATEUPDATE

  • The storyline with Hannah and Cas was SO uncomfortable
  • Like, they’re literally siblings and the whole weird half-romantic subplot was just… ergh
  • I’m so fucking hyped for season 13, give me scooby-doo spn and I sure hope it’s Gabriel because, honestly, who else would put them in scooby-doo, pleaseeee give me richard speight jr
  • I’ve been reading a ton of fanfic, this has ruined me. There’s this wonderful author on fanfic.net called 29pieces who does amazing fics and they’re my life now
  • Cas’s eyes yes please give me the sky
  • Spn is creepy ass monsters and traumatizing characters and heartbreaking scenes
  • But sometimes they just throw in a crack episode and they keep me sane, honestly. I would be in a limitless pool of tears if not for the crack eps and the gag reels
  • THE GAG REELS
  • THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES HE GOES FROM CAS TO MISHA IN LIKE A SINGLE SECOND
  • Back to sadness
  • CAS’S FACE AFTER METATRON SAYS ‘he’s dead too’
  • And he sees dean’s blood on the angel blade
  • HEARTBREAKING NO THANK YOU
  • SEASON 9. MAKES. ME. SO ANGRY. HOW DARE SAM AND DEAN HUNT WHILE CAS IS HOMELESS AND COLD AND A L O N E
  • I’m so sad about Cas being homeless because Misha and oh my god
  • Future!Cas also makes me sad because I know it’s funny and all to see Cas high but thinking about the road that led him there is not
  • Thinking about Cas’s depression that led him to drug abuse keeps me up at night
  • I NEED CHUCK TO TELL CAS HE’S HIS FAVOURITE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY PLEASE
  • My angel feels inadequate and I cannot handle that today 
  • Everything about Cas just makes me sad
‘BabyGirl’ Part 1- Serpent!Jughead x Reader

For an anon request ☺️ I twisted this request around quite a bit Im sorry. This is a little less angsty (with mentions of an argument) and a little tiny hint of smut and los of teasing. I do hope that this is all okay for you. 

WARNINGS: Hint of smuttiness and teasing - swearing (Slight mention of a daddy kink)   MASTERLIST  Part 2

Originally posted by jughead-thethird

You waltzed into the bar that night. You and Jughead had, had an argument that morning about how you were his and his alone. How you would never show that you were his and it frustrated him. This all came from one incident last week when some young serpent at school decided to press you up against your locker in the way Jughead did and try and have his way with your lips. What Jughead hadn’t seen as he had pulled the twit away by his neck was that you were very ready to knee him heavily in the groin. You wore his jacket around your shoulders tonight and a constant smirk. You were used to arguing with him. You knew how this would play out.

It wasn’t long after you had downed one shot that you felt his hands on your waist, tight and demanding. Just how you liked it.

Jughead had changed since becoming a serpent. He was more confident and more at home and my god did you love it. Betty gaddamn cooper had left after she found out but you were always there and that’s what put you here, in this bar again but with his jacket  - not your own, and his lips inching evidently towards your ear,

“And what do you think you are doing wearing this?” His grip tightened on your waist before trailing down your hips to thumb and the very very short skirt. His body was pressed up against yours keeping you facing the bar,

“I’m being adventurous” you purred. You knew exactly what to do with him, “I thought you would want people to know I’m yours.” You turned your head to look at him still not able to turn around fully and pretending he wasn’t on about your skirt.

“Don’t play with me, baby girl. And there are more ways of showing you’re mine.” He almost growled the last word as his darkened eyes locked with yours before his lips planted themselves firmly on your neck, sucking and biting quickly and leaving a deep purple mark.

“Juggle! We’re in public”

“And you still decide that something so short is appropriate. Therefore I think this is appropriate.” His lips connected to your neck again and you sighed in content that you had gotten what you wanted - his full attention.

“Juggie, babe, come play pool with me?” You asked doe eyed as he looked down at you,

“Not tonight. Not while you are wearing that. Flaunting your ass to the whole bar? Not on baby girl. That ass is mine” he squeezed your behind firmly then placed a light smack on it.

“Oh I just remembered” you said sarcastically as you finally managed to turn in his arms, “I can do what I want” you smirked and pushed away from him, joining some of the guys in a game of pool.

You liked teasing Jughead for one reason - he would finally release his full dark side, he was dominant and possessive and you loved it on nights like this. You made a point of laughing a little louder and sweeter, and you certainly made a point of bending over the table a little in his direction, either squeezing your chest or allowing your skirt to ride up even more. The guys knew you were Juggies. Damn, every one knew you belonged to Jughead and with him being the leaders son, they didn’t touch you. They knew better than that. The third time you bent over you felt someone’s hips press up against you, their hands on your waist again and a hint of excitement in their pants. With his firm grip and large hands, Jughead managed to pull you up so you were standing flush against him once again and with a single nod, the guys you were playing pool with had left, heading for the bar.

“You need to cut this out, Darlin’. Now.”

“And why the hell should I. We’re having a lovely game here aren’t we boys” you shouted to them and smirked at how they were a little to scared to answer. Jughead had managed to establish quite the reputation for dealing with people who tried to deal with his woman.

“Now you are playing dangerously.”

“And when have you ever known me to be tame?” You teased back wiggling yourself against him. With a firm tug and a grip that would surely leave a mark - that you were sure he would add to later, he pulled you tighter against him and moved to wrap his arm around your waist pulling you away from the table and towards the back door.

As soon as he got you out into the abandoned alleyway you were up against the wall, “how dare you be like that in there” he demanded, “blatantly flaunting yourself like that like you were everyone’s to fuck and see! That’s not how this works (y/n).” You refused to give in and simply leaned closer.

“Yeah? And what are you going to do, Jughead?”

His lips found yours ferociously, his tongue winning immediate dominance, before he detached your lips and moved downwards. Down your neck and pulling his jacket away from your shoulders so he could reach your very exposed chest. The cold air had chilled you but you felt two warm hands slipping up your skirt almost ripping it with how tight it already was,

“Don’t wear shit like this unless you want shit like this to happen, baby girl” you sighed and smirked but he had caught you. “you did this on purpose, didn’t you. You wanted people to see you, you wanted me to do all the hard work with you didn’t you”

You hummed against his lips as you pulled him closer, “yes daddy.”

“Fucking hell, baby girl” he retracted his hands from your skirt quickly and grabbed your wrist harshly as you continued to smirk. His dads trailer wasn’t too far away so, ignoring the fact you were wearing heels, he pulled you to it. Throwing open the door and pushing you in before him he closed and locked the door. Immediately his face was close to yours again,

“You wanted me to get like that hmm? Lose control with you? Expose you fully, didn’t you?” His voice was so low it was almost a growl, here he was. The darkness. You nodded refusing to speak and break the smile on your face, “fine then” he pushed you into the bedroom and you went to lay on the bed but he tutted, “na ah, not yet baby girl.” Kicking off his shoes and socks he laid out on the bed, his hands behind his head as he watched you, eyeing you up with care. “You wanted to be exposed so badly, then strip for me, baby girl.”

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