i made this weeks ago but got annoyed at trying to reduce it

How to Return to your Manuscript

Every writer knows what it’s like to set a manuscript down for an evening and just… not pick it up again.

Usually when this happens, we have every intention of returning to it the next day, but for some reason or another, we don’t. 

One day turns into a week. Which turns into a month. Maybe two. 

The longer the manuscript’s been set aside, the harder it becomes to pick up again. It turns into this dark, hulking presence lurking at the edge of your consciousness, like something in a horror movie, eating away at that piece of your identity labeled “writer.” 

The reasons for not picking it up may change, but there’s always one.

You may not know where to start again, or doubt that your abilities are up to the standard its plot or characters require. You may not know where to find the time to write anymore. You may have even sat down to write just a few minutes ago, and ended up here on Tumblr instead, unable to bring yourself to open the manuscript file. 

If you’re reading this post and feel personally attacked…

Don’t fret. 

I have a writing exercise for you. 

Set aside ten minutes of your day to look at your manuscript. 

  • I recommend reading the last scene you completed, but this is your manuscript and your time. You can look at the first page. Or that one scene in the middle that you actually kind of like. Just don’t look at a blank page. Blank pages are scary and this is all about eliminating writing anxiety. 
  • Personally, I make this the last thing I do in the day, so I go to sleep with my manuscript in my head. Sometimes it helps to let my unconscious mind have a go at sorting through what I’ve read. However, I think it’s helpful to do this before any long period of time when you can let your mind wander. You may find writing more helpful before work/school or during lunch. Before a commute. Whatever works best for you. 

But don’t write and don’t look for more than ten minutes. 

  • You’re not allowed to change a single thing in the document. Not a comma. Not a misspelled word. 
  • When the ten minutes are up, simply close the document and go on with your day/night. 
  • There will probably be some things that you do want to change in the manuscript. They may be very simple, sentence-level fixes, but they may be as big as an idea for continuing the scene or the start of the next chapter. Let those thoughts sit with you, instead of all of the manuscript doubt and anxiety that were sitting with you before.
  • And yes, keeping your time down to ten minutes is important. You want a focus on a bite-sized portion of the manuscript. If you read too much, you’ll give yourself too much to consider for the next day, you’ll find too much to change, and you’ll run the risk of making your work as anxiety-inducing as ever. 

The next day, sit down with your document for another ten minutes. 

  • Allow yourself to make the changes you didn’t make the first day, or ones you’ve come up with since. This may mean adding a few commas and removing a few ‘that’s. This may mean continuing with the scene. Ten minutes is the perfect amount of time to set down a good paragraph. Try that. 
  • Again, force yourself to stop after ten minutes, even if you’re on a roll now. The stopping means that you have to keep all of those changes that you’re excited to make inside your head. It means that your thoughts about your manuscript are good and productive. It’ll keep you looking forward to your next writing session. Key advice: at the end of every writing session, always leave an edit in your head. It’ll be that small, tangible thing you can start with in your next session. 

Rinse, repeat, and develop a routine. 

  • Sit down for at least ten minutes every day. Make it a routine. Once the manuscript is open, do whatever feels comfortable to you: whether that means reading a chapter, editing something old, or writing something new. 
  • If you’re coming up with edits and scenes that simply require more than ten minutes, start amping up your writing time. Write for an hour. Write for two or three. 
  • Have a super busy day and know you can’t write for an hour? Those ten minutes are still fine. They’re still enough. Never feel like having spent three hours writing yesterday means you have to spend three hours writing today. Never feel like a failure for not spending X hours a day writing. That will only lead to not writing at all. 
  • What if you get stuck again? Go back to a shorter writing time, go back to reading and not writing. Reduce the pressure you’ve put on yourself and relax your expectations. The most important thing is simply returning to your manuscript every day whether you have something good to set on the page or not. 
  • Never got un-stuck in the first place? That’s still okay! Keep spending your ten minutes with your manuscript. Write or just read. Keep it in your thoughts. Make it a defined, real, thing instead of that monster lurking in your head. It may take time, but eventually, something will click, and by that point, opening that file and getting started will be a piece of cake.
  • If you are able to write for an hour or two each day, you may find it useful to continue setting aside ten minutes each evening to read that day’s work–read but not edit–and keep a few edits in your head for the next day’s session. 

By the end of a week, whether you’ve written a hundred new pages or fixed a lot of bad grammar, you’ll at least be in a place where you’re once again thinking about your manuscript in tangible terms, as a thing made up of words and paragraphs instead of anxiety and blank pages. 

Maybe in the end, you’ll decide that you simply need to abandon this story and pick up a new one. If this happens, you’ll be in a great place to start, with a writing routine already in place. 

More likely than not, just spending time with your story will fan up your love for it again. And once more, your manuscript will be the annoying, stubborn, untameable child you adore instead of a lurking horror. 

For more advice on working through writer’s block, check out another post of mine: What to Do When You Can’t Write

Originally posted by gypsyastronaut

Wings

Author’s Note: lord i didnt think id be writing this so soon but ive been so soft ™ and pcy has been doing the most™ so here we are i guess. this is the first part of his Did You See story. im weak as hell lmao
Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female)
Summary: Chanyeol is your best friend and travel buddy. Everywhere you go, he falls a little bit more in love with you. Eventually, he tells you why he goes everywhere with you - just you. 
Genre: fluff; angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some swearing
Word Count: 5,356

Originally posted by parkchanyeolieoppa

Yeolo sent a Photo
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YN[12:06 AM]: im stunned
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YN[12:08 AM]: youre like…
YN[12:09 AM]: slightly organized chaos
Yeolo[12:10 AM] - Message sent with Confetti: CHAOS

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My Love

BUCKY BARNES x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Reader is in the hospital, all about Bucky and how he’s coping with the situation.

Warning: I think there’s like one curse word and it’s really sad.

A/N: Sorry I’ve been away for so long, kind of hit a small wall while writing and college has been stressful. Anyway, this was requested it’s kind of based off the song My Love by sia. I’ll also be updating Written In The Stars sometime during the week. Enjoy and thank you.xx

Originally posted by thespoilerwitchblog

The room was filled with sunflowers. The yellow hues contrasting against the dull white of the wall Bucky was currently starting at. He hated the flowers, they stood there all tall and bright mocking him. While he sat there feeling all small and dull like the wall behind the stupid flowers. He was numb and broken like the cracks that had started to form through the concrete due to old age. He felt lifeless like the color against the bright yellow. And if someone else walked in with another vase of flowers he was going to explode.

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The best

Winter

“Ok I am done” Maya Penelope Hart hiked up her high heeled, brown suede boots. They had been given as a present from her step father Shawn Hunter. They had been her favourite attire to move around in but sadly she had been frustrated when a heel had been broken until Shawn had taken it to a shoe repair shop and returned it to her as if it was brand new, with a little bejewelled piece as an addition in the colour of midnight blue, M. P.H. Maya swore she would never wear it again until special occasions and it seemed that, that day had finally arrived. She stood up twirling around in her short red and black shirt dress, in front of Riley Matthews who lounging on her bed focused on her mobile phone seemed taken back. A small smile formed on her lips as she walked over to her brunette bubbly best friend

“You seem so excited” Riley said making room for Maya on the bed, Maya shrugged letting tendrils of her long blonde hair fall on her back as she fell on the bed with a flop.  “Of course I am Riley; the art museum only opens this month to celebrate the anniversary of De Vinci’s work. And I got these tickets for Josh and I to actually go. Plus, I also missed him a lot” She wasn’t lying, She and Josh hadn’t seen each other for almost 4 months, Whilst Maya had been thankful for Zay who stayed by her side as her pseudo boyfriend, Maya’s excitement over her unofficial boyfriend was through the roof.  Riley nodded in an absent mindedly way, picking up one of the earrings and handing it over to Maya who grabbed it happily and continued moving around.

“So you think he’s planned something?” Maya’s face beamed in response happily. Riley noticed that it had been a while since she smiled that excitedly over anything since the last trip to upstate last year she was sure. It caused knots of guilt to form in her stomach but finally she shook it off and shoved that unsettling prodding back down where it came from. Maya had hope now again and she was happy again and even though Riley and Lucas had broken up properly after she had gone insane whilst trying to protect Farkle from being hurt, Riley had felt guilty because she had begun to think of how Maya must have felt about Lucas around that time. She had been so clueless.  Maya never let Riley know how broken she had been because of them getting together but Riley noticed quietly and regretfully refusing to butt in this time. Maya’s phone chimed noisily and she jumped up hurriedly grabbing it, “That must be him” She said, she knew she was 30 minutes late and she felt guilty about making him wait but she had helped her mother in the morning preparing for her new role and time had flown by, before she got to Riley’s house to get ready. “Alright I’m off” She had told him she’d meet him in Topanga’s so she hurriedly went there without checking her phone. Slowly she entered the small cafe and looked around expectantly. Nope, no sight of Josh.  Maya sighed fiddling with her handbag and finally noticed the missed message that blinked brightly at her on her phone. Dreadfully she opened the phone, and as she read it, disappointment crept up on her which suddenly she felt it hit her with a ton of bricks. Ouch.  Maya nodded frustrated and shrugged retreating to the empty bay window space in Topanga’s.  Of course he couldn’t make it, college was harder now and he had to focus. She knew that, she understood it, heck for her the preparation for her own future had become a nuisance and frustrating as she gave most of her time in perfecting her art collage and centrepieces. It was just that after the 6 weeks thing they hadn’t seen each other for longer than 6 months!!, Josh never seemed interested in anything she wanted to do as well, and there was no time for her to visit him in college, Josh’s amount of trip round the Matthews reduced as time came and so maybe just this once her hope had been high when he had replied he’d come get her. Irritated with tears at her eyelids, she felt a bit pathetic to be honest, she sat down on the chair, and looked around shamefully.

As she continued to sit quietly, the door opened and in walked her biggest nightmare Ok so it had been an exaggeration but it seemed fitting in this situation, Lucas Friar was laughing and making jokes with Zay before he had stopped immediately and noticed Maya who was still all dressed up for her date. Maya tried to pretend to give a smile, and waved over.  Damn was it awkward, the same guy Maya had told 6 months ago she liked and due to his confusion led her to lie that she had no feelings whatsoever for him. And she tried to avoid him she did, but she also had to act unfazed when he and Riley had told her that she and him were going to give it another go. Of course Maya also knew that Riley had dumped him sadly because she mistakenly grew feelings both hers and his best friend Farkle, and she didn’t want to carry on lying anymore. Maya tried to avoid him after that but Riley had promised Lucas that things wouldn’t change, so Maya couldn’t close him off either, she still had to act like a friend  to the same guy she had been trying to avoid for a year who by the way kept on showing up everywhere after he and the girl he chose her best friend had broken up  and the same who was still making her heart flutter and flip over like an excited child bobbing up at the sight of a gift which you know was freaking annoying and weird.

“Maya?” He made his way over there questioningly.  Maya couldn’t help but grit her teeth at him, Zay had slouched his arm around her whilst grinning, Maya smiled back before turning to Lucas “Huckleberry sup” Lucas sat down, a look of worry filling his stupid, idiotic yet good-looking face and she detested it. That frustrating look of pity. She looked down uncertain, “Maya? Shouldn’t you be…” Maya shrugged, and Zay finally let go of her when he noticed Lucas giving him a strange glare. “Well he’s…busy” Lucas rubbed his hands around his neck and nodded tersely. “Maya…” She shook her head “Look Lucas I’m not in the mood right now for you and Zay to discuss how stupid you two think I am for waiting for him” Zay nodded as if to say it was stupid which Maya shot him a glare and he raised his hand up backing of. But Lucas shook his own head in silence as well as returning the glare to Zay as well “How about this?” He said clapping his hands together excitedly a big toothy grin forming, which Maya somehow forgot why she was depressed and almost broke into laughter at how dorky he looked. “Let’s have a day of just being Maya, a day where we can do anything you want” Maya turned and looked at him in awe and confusion “What?” He shrugged shyly “Hey” he said looking into her eyes before she looked away. “I can’t leave my friend in need” Maya cringed at the mention of ‘friends’ Liar. She thought, when was this idea of friendship a year ago after they had broken up. But immediately that thought appeared, she found herself laughing as Lucas wiggled his eyebrows at her “Well what do you say?” Maya shook her head still laughing “You are such a huckleberry” Lucas tipped his imaginary Cow boy hat and Maya’s heart stopped abruptly at the gesture, she rolled her eyes and Zay grinned too, “Glad to be of service Ma’am”

Lucas didn’t know why but the thought of his plans with Maya caused his skin to burn with fire as he thought about her smile and how he felt incomplete when he had seen her shattered by Josh leaving her. It wasn’t the first time that he had seen that face on her.  He thought about her outfit, how she had donned the finest jewels and dresses for Josh when she looked beautiful either way, he would have been stunned even when she was in her jogging shorts and her hair in bun with no makeup, like how she recently had been when she painted and created pieces and got lost in her own little world. A world he wanted to discover and fall into. He thought about her excitement, about their time together like how she couldn’t stop laughing at him making faces by her side or the sneaky side eyes they were giving when Matthews had been talking about how he was trying to stop linking history every time to their lives. Which caused his own heart to respond to each beat with her chuckles. And as he looked over the list he thought that he was so lucky to have that girl be his friend and also care about him. Lucas had set the table with the fake art works trying to make the room look like a cute gallery of different stuff Maya hart would have found funny, he even had bought Mexican takeaways and had placed it on the picnic basket with flourish, even if she had missed the opening of the gallery he was goanna make sure she felt like she hadn’t. And God he was such a sap he thought blushing. He had finished prepping everything when he heard a knock. It was Maya and she was standing outside leaning by a tree fidgeting nervously, “Maya?” She turned to stare at him, her eyes full of happiness and hope like her wish had come true.  “Huckleberry I came here to make sure you haven’t done anything yet,” she was literally buzzing with happiness, but uncertainty “It was a ruse” she breathed short breaths, her voice getting higher “Josh booked a restaurant to surprise me God I’m such an idiot, He was just pulling my leg” Lucas felt stabbed and immediately he looked hurt, Maya turned to him “Huckleberry? You ok? I can cancel if you want me to, did you pay for anything for today?” Lucas took a deep breath She was so beautiful when she smiled, and she was his Maya, his frustrating yet wonderful Maya, his cheeky yet awesome Maya, and she was happy which is all he wanted for her, every day, every night, everywhere “No Maya… I actually didn’t yet do anything was lagging behind, you know kinda was distracted by Zay” he let out a laugh, trying really hard to seem excited, but Maya stared at him her eyes wide. She stopped and looked at him, really looked at him, looking into his eyes and for a moment it seemed that Time froze, it was just her and him, in this place, he looked down laughing nervously, but she slowly reached forward to grab his head to turn to her. “Are you…ok Lucas?” He laughed again “Of course Maya don’t worry about me, go on your date” Maya leaned closer her breath closer and kissed him on the cheek. Lucas Froze again. What was that?? Why did she think torturing him was the best idea right now, a kiss on the cheek really?  “Ok” she sounded uncertain but she did turn to leave “You’re the best huckleberry Guess I’m goanna go get ready” Lucas sighed and turned away a fake smile still on his face.

She couldn’t believe it; it had never happened before. Of course it never happened before, this wasn’t a natural or normal occurrence, and it wasn’t really an expected sight when she had excitedly stood up, due to the door ringing and she was the only person at home since Shawn and Katy had already left for their celebration of their anniversary. Maya was going to later on retreat to Riley’s to stay over. How was it possible that, when she opened the door standing there, in his turquoise shirt and jeans, with his dirty blonde hair drenched falling unto his green eyes gasping for air because it looked like he had ran, was Lucas Stupid Friar.

“Lucas?” she squinted, “What are you doing here?”  Lucas turned to face her “No Actually I’m not fine.” Maya’s mouth was ajar and she blushed furiously, “Lucas it’s 9 am I don’t have time for Jokes” Lucas nodded “, I know said, I didn’t care about it but it does and it’s been bothering me” Maya sighed “You could have said this when I came to see you Why are you here?” Lucas looked at her even more frustrated “There’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you and I couldn’t do it for a year” Maya folded her arms at him angrily “Why not?” Lucas looked at her annoyed she was avoiding his line of sight, she knew why “You know why Maya, things changed remember, you became distant and then I felt like I couldn’t do it, until we got back to normal” There’s no we, Maya thought to herself angrily, “And today you decided” Lucas sighed back as he unfolded his arms and came closer looking into her eyes which caused her to almost choke.

“Yes, I decided today of all days was the day I’d have confidence to give you this” Maya stepped back, coughing softly, and then peering back up at him from under her lashes,. He had given her a small blue notepad, something that looked a bit worn and torn, and Maya looked at it uncertainly  “Why are you doing this?  Why are you here doing this?” she realised too they were now inches away and she stepped back looking away hurriedly, “I guess” Lucas said softly, “Because I’m angry at myself” Maya froze. She didn’t want him to continue. But Lucas used this opportunity to lean closer and turn her face towards his, “The whole year I noticed your depression about not getting into that art summer school project thing and I’ve always been angry I’ve always wanted to do something, to remove these problems for you but I was happy you could stay here with us then but because of what had happened with Josh…I… I couldn’t just waltz in here anymore and do anything anymore… “Maya sighed shaking her head “I don’t want your pity Lucas”

Lucas face changed to frustration though, “Maya I’m angry that it took me this long…” “Yeah I know, took you long to realise that you can talk to me” But Lucas also stood up, and grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. “Lucas I have a date in like 2 hours” She gasped, he continued “No. because it took me this long to figure things out, I lost important things, I lost the confidence to even visit you, I lost our banter, I lost your nicknames, I lost our fights, I lost the right to be jealous and I also lost you” Now Maya looked frustrated too “Lucas what’s wrong with you?  did you drink or something?” But Lucas leaned closer making her stop talking, “Because I was scared, I didn’t think I deserved you, I was scared of being the guy who lost you if we got serious, scared of losing everything but I lost everything by agreeing to try again with Riley? And after Riley and I broke up, I realised things …” Maya was angrier now

“You realised that your second choice was not goanna be there waiting to run into your arms? Well no Lucas, I’m not second choice and also I don’t understand why you are freaking talking about this 2 hour before I go on a date, now get off” But Lucas shook his head “No! After Riley and I broke up, I felt happy ok? I felt like all the guilt was gone, because I spent all that time loving you ok? I hated myself for even thinking like that and hurting Riley, I hated everything, but you were acting like my friend, but you were distant, you weren’t distant to anyone else but you were distant to me and I was angry and sad and heartbroken and…” he sighed again “I came to tell you after a year, that if this isn’t working, if you keep being sad then don’t do it, the only thing bothering me is your happiness, I tried to fix it today even if I lost everything, I thought I could still use that to make you happy I thought, I could still maybe get you back as my friend, and we could not be distant anymore, but I can’t lie to myself Maya, I can’t just ask you to be normal again, because I won’t be. I’m too in love with you so I won’t be, but if I stop everything with you that’ll hurt more” Maya had tears in her eyes by now, listening to how he felt, how much he hated himself just like how she hated herself, she leaned in and kissed Lucas on the cheek again while he tried again to tell how he felt. It was soft and then she pulled and even though God help her she knew she wanted more than that, she was happy for being stupid and selfish for that 2 seconds, but something dark appeared in Lucas’s eyes and as Maya pushed him away after tried to brush it of by returning inside, he frowned and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in a passionate kiss. This one he wasn’t intending to break, or even act cool or calm, this was fire, he didn’t want to stop kissing her, she didn’t either. And then they heard Ginger’s scuffle and Maya’s face heated up and she pushed him away. “No” her voice was raspy and out of breath and she felt like she was electrocuted again. “Maya” Lucas tried but Maya turned to face him “No just…No” She looked around the house and stood up and walked away leaving Lucas in her own house with his thoughts.

Maya thought of places she could run to, Topanga’s meant she’d had to see her mum and explain, Riley’s meant she’d have to let Riley know that Lucas had confessed to being in love with Maya the whole time, and she just couldn’t with the guilt, Josh? She couldn’t even look at him right now, Upstate? It seemed weird but the little house of Shawn’s in upstate had become her place of refuge, and Shawn had given her a key whenever he was up there, she could come and visit him of course when he had work to do in upstate. She knew that her mum and Shawn wouldn’t have gone there since he was taken her to Philadelphia to see where he came from and etc. Right now Upstate was the only place she thought of going where she could avoid being near Lucas. She texted Riley telling her she had to go somewhere and not to worry, Of course Riley being Riley sent texts with bajillion worried mum like questions which Maya was thankful for. Maya proceeded to text Shawn and Katy where she was and sent Josh a text asking him to understand that she couldn’t make it anymore and sat in the subway looking out at the windows. She turned off her phone breathing in and closing her eyes trying to remove the memories from before. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair at all, Lucas was an idiot, he had shit timing, he came whenever he pleased and he left whenever he wanted, her heart was tired of being wringed out and tossed back and forth. So many scars, and tears, so many freaking wounds and holes left. It just wasn’t fair.

The first thing Maya proceeded to as she arrived was light the fireplace, she was freezing and running out without her coat wasn’t ideal, neither was leaving her house alone with Lucas in it. She proceeded to get the little art pad she was holding when she ran away and some colour pencils Shawn had also left for her whenever she returned and began to sketch. She sketched furiously, then joyfully, then happily, and she ruffled some stuff from the house shocked with her mood board for the centre piece. She coloured until her hands hurt and by that time the evening had arrived. Maya was exhausted, but she felt calm and finally after opening his stupid note book, she staring at the ideas that he had left on there. She looked at all the writings he’d written each of them, weird and out of the blue. Notes he left from reading the book and other ideas he had left for the art piece. His hard work stood out on the pages like icing on a cake, and Maya couldn’t help run her finger through it as she read. This time she finally broke down, it wasn’t easy for her to read them, it was the ideas that he’d done, each of them titled the best, it was the other memories he had written down, like a cowboy hat with a rose underneath, the very rose which she had dried and used in an art piece hidden in one of her sketch books, or the harmonica he brought from Texas when she made fun of him for, the other ideas he had planned to do for her which were ruled out of frustration because he had to start avoiding her because he had chosen Riley, or the recent ones after they had broken up which never seemed to end including the fake art museum idea she never knew about. Maya’s heart swelled with joy. He had also written in the books, Reasons why Maya Hart makes me smile, reasons why she was beautiful, reasons why he was so lucky to have her as a friend, nicknames she called him, nicknames he was going to try and call her, with shortstack of pancakes ruled out with a little note saying she hated it, Maya laughed reading it, ideas to save the creativity arts, the first time she came to him and pushed Riley on him etc. The note pad was filled with every freaking moment they had shared, every of his thoughts, every of his frustrations every of his mistakes. And Lastly in the last page, there stood two words, in bright shining out bold CAMP FIRE. Nothing else was written but Maya understood why, she understood why he was speechless because of it, the one moment where she wanted to go on forever, the one moment she’d spent the whole year dreading, regretting but wanting, hoping for, wishing for, dreaming about. It was there and Maya noticed it, the last words on the page was “She’d never see me like that”  

A sob came out of Maya’s mouth, her hands flying to cover it in shock, almost as if the book was an arrow scorching hot which burned through her own heart, it wasn’t as if she ever thought he too was in agony as she was. It wasn’t a surprise of her to think there was nothing more to his actions after he had let her dump him and gone to Riley.  But she  didn’t know he also was suffering from anguish because of her

Everything since he appeared had filled her life with so much annoyance, so much regret, yet also she had been really happy, she had felt safe and he had broken her walls in fact demolished it down which no one could do, not even Riley could completely tear down all the walls, it wasn’t possible. All those years she saw her mum give up on love because of how she had ‘pushed away’ the man in her life, Maya never knew what Love could possibly feel like. The heart ache her mother must have felt she finally understood after confessing to Lucas her feelings, Him choosing Riley had sealed her ideas on her finding true love, it wasn’t for her and she didn’t deserve it. She only hurt the people she loved, she was a broken mess who pushed away everyone she cared for and that’s what she had thought of herself for the whole time she was trying to give up on Lucas,  she didn’t know that Lucas was feeling exactly the same way, thinking he didn’t deserve Maya, thinking he would never get her to truly love him the way he did for her, Maya finally understood his anger and exhaustion when she came up to him those years ago to hahurr in his face, because he wanted to reach towards her and hold her too, just like how she had done it because it was the closest she could ever be to him at that time, at that time everything she had done had been done unconsciously whilst Lucas had seen her from the first time and every action he had done for her was on purpose,  he knew he had feelings for her, he followed and allowed her to tease him because he thought she had been doing them as well on purpose, that’s why he stopped, He completely had given up on any thought of her and him as a couple in that ski lodge and she let him. Thinking she could prevent everything they had. She had resented him so much for it, for letting her go when in the end She had been the one who hurt him every single day because she kept pushing him away. THE IDIOT! The frustrating Idiot who never told her his feelings. Maya wanted to hunt him down. STUPID FREAKING HUCKLEBERRY!! Maya didn’t care about anything else she threw the notebook away frustrated, it was too late for sure, this was stupid how could he choose this day to this, to ruin everything she ever thought about him.  
Maya looked out at the window and noticed it had started to snow. The first snow falls of the month and she sighed. She couldn’t return to NY she guessed that day, the snow had already made its way on the floor in heaps. The trains probably had stopped working or delayed, and to walk in the snow in her outfit wouldn’t really be a smart idea. Considering you know she walked out not thinking about anything and went straight to upstate without thinking! But Maya found herself clutching to blanket that was on the couch clutching it to her chest and walked outside. She raised her hands to feel the snow and let a breath out which was visible because of the reduction in the weather. Her hair had been a matted mess because she had laid on the couch in a mess but she finally had tied her hair in a small bun and it felt like most of the snow had fallen in the bun. She shivered slowly and closed her eyes. She probably should have headed back in but she walked closer out and sighed. It felt cheesy but she found herself wishing things could change except she felt stupid in the end she had ran away from Lucas again, again she had hurt him, again everything had fallen through because she was scared.  A gust of wind rippled through her clothes and she shivered again the snow that had been fallen on her head suddenly stopped, she put her hand out confused still eyes closed and felt them falling even harder which confused her so much more. Opening her eyes she looked up at the sky to notice a black umbrella. And underneath by her side in his own jackets and the jeans and the boots was Lucas peering down at her. Maya gasped and tried to move back but Lucas grabbed her and pull him back to his side, the umbrella falling now. “You’re cold” he said stroking her head. Maya looked at him in awe “What, what are you doing…” Lucas had managed to grab her hand now, as she shivered and pulled her back inside looking around at the messed up couch now with the papers all strewn over the place. Maya was still shocked and had lost her ability to speak.  Lucas had found his way in the kitchen after removing his jacket and covering Maya in it as well making her even warmer. But it might have been because him grabbing her was leaving warmy tingling sensations around her whole body to be honest it probably was that.  Lucas was bustling around the kitchen with the kettle, and the hot chocolate powder looking intent as he stirred the drinks and finally Maya who had managed to sit on the couch managed to retrieve one of the mugs and looked at it before finally snapping out of it and taking a sip. Lucas looked up at the ceiling and then around “Wow this place is cosy” Maya turned to face him “Wow we’re just goanna ignore the fact that you randomly popped up in here as if that makes any sense” he laughed and came closer “I thought it’s the only way for us to talk, Immediately you left I went to the Matthews” He dropped the hot chocolate mug on the table in front of them and Maya gasped again, “I saw Riley and she said that you’d gone here and Matthews offered to drop me here”  Maya looked even more shocked dropping the hot chocolate and standing up to look outside the window “Not here, they went to some restaurant first they’d be here later”  Maya sat down frustratedly and awkwardly refusing to look at Lucas anymore. But the idiot refused to look away, of course she had also noticed annoyingly that he had lit the fireplace and when she glared at him he smirked again.  “Oh for Goodness sakes huckleberry STOP staring” She threw a cushion at him which he caught laughing “I’m not going to we need to talk” Maya shook her head “You need to talk not me… I’ve done all the talking since I met you…”  He sighed and came closer, “Maya…” she shook her head “No don’t come closer idiot, just say what you want to say” Lucas looked at her “I can’t be your friend” There  was an awkward silence “You’ve never been my friend” Maya retorted He flinched at her anger “I don’t want us to be friends. I never did from the beginning I first met you” Maya looked away “You were a shit friend Lucas, you were horrible annoying hop along who was too perfecty perfect” . Lucas looked at her “And you were frustrating, you broke the rules, you prevented anyone from getting to know you and you were freaking horrifying” Maya frowned, “For once in your life ranger rick just SHUT UP.” She had come closer standing and looking into his eyes “SHUT Up and Just tell me the TRUTH don’t beat around the bush” she stopped “Please” she sounded exhausted, Lucas stared at her “I’ve been a fool for so long, It’s always been you, you know that, I know that, Zay knew that God Maya everyone knows it’s always been freaking you everywhere I go I can’t get you out of my head, I can’t get the campfire out I dream about smores, pancakes, and more just to think about you” He dropped his hand from their folded position “It’s like no matter where I go no matter how much I want to escape you I just can’t”  Maya sighed “You’re a thorn in my flesh Huckleberry that’s not a good thing, and all I’ve done since I met you is bring you down I’m not princess like, or all happy go lucky that’s not me” Lucas leaned closer finally cupping her chin and looking at her “ I don’t want that, I want you, you’re the only person who understands me, who sees what I am and accepts me, I’m not saying good bye to you again” Maya shook her head “No huckleberry we’re bad for each other, we’d kill each other alive because of fighting, you said so remember it’s why you let me go, why you gave up”
“Maya I was stupid “
“And  I understand we can’t be friends but I don’t want to hurt you again huckleberry, I can’t let this happen we’ll both be hurt”
“Maya”
“It doesn’t make sense it’s not fair I know, but you’ll meet a better person who is the one for you”
“Maya”
“And you’ll be happy Lucas, but that person is not me,  I’m bad for you, I can’t lose you”
“MAYA”
“What??” she said quizzically looking at the boy who looked angry and frustrated
“I’m in love with you, you annoying shortstack of pancakes!!  Seriously would I be doing all this if I didn’t know the risks or the outcome, would I have freaking ran after you in the stupid snow just to come see your face if I didn’t think we’d work out?” He ran his hand through her hair “I’m tired of waiting Maya I’m tired of not being able to talk to you and I’m not giving up” Maya found herself grinning, winding him up was so fun she walked closer and pulled him by the collar of his shirt “hey cowboy” Lucas looked at her surprise almost as if he hadn’t finished his rant on why she was an idiot for thinking that they couldn’t be together “What? I’m not finished don’t change the subject” Maya shook her head “Shut up” Pulling him to her she kissed him, it wasn’t hard/ rough but it also wasn’t soft, it was a kiss of longing better than before, this was better and she found herself melting and it wasn’t as if Lucas had time to think it through but he took the lead after a second and moulded her into his own body, feeling like he had finally fulfilled his quest. All these years he’d been running from his past from who he was, but here with this short angel by his side, he felt like he’d finally returned home and he wasn’t leaving her side ever again.  


MERRY CHRISTMAS  @thefriartoherhart i’m your secret santa i hope you like this edit of an old fanfic i wrote for you 😄😄😄 i made it longer winterthemed and made lucas finally say the words hes been dying to say 😃😃😃😃 And maya finally alloweed him to….hope  you enjoyed it hope the length wasn’t bad 

Fly out: A story written for Zutara week 2015!

Ao3 : Here

Summary: Katara just wants to go home for the holidays but it seems the Spirits ( and an unfortunately timed snow storm) have other plans. Stuck in an airport while her flight is delayed, Katara has the chance to meet a stranger that throws her whole world upside down.

Rating: For Chapter 1 and 2 it’s gonna be G but as soon as Chapter 3 rolls in it’s gonna be M cause of sexy situations.

Chapter 1: Happenstance

Her eyes search the departure board quickly, looking for the name of her home town amidst the names of the other destinations. At the end of almost every row there is the same word flashing in capital letters: DELAYED. She swallows as she spots the United Nations Airlines section. There’s a knot in her stomach, and for a moment she debates on whether she really wants to look down the board. Doing that wouldn’t fix the situation, she knows that. So like a big girl, she follows the Southern Tribes row, stopping when her gaze reaches the Departure time. Like all the others the banner, ‘DELAYED. AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS’ rolls across the screen. Her shoulders fall and tears well in her eyes. She just wants to go home.

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Poor

1.

Poor. I try to weaponise the word; arm myself with it so maybe it doesn’t have the same connotations as it had a few years ago during my first year of university, and my housemates convinced themselves that I had an eating disorder because they never saw me cooking. I try not to let it have the same connotations as it had when I explained, and one of them tried to help me get a week’s shop, only for me to nearly break down in tears when it slowly crept past £10.

What is it, then? If it’s not rigged with connotations?

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