(Hello children! I’m here with pref 300! I’m so amazed that I even made it this far. I couldn’t have done it with out all of y'all’s love and support. A little background on this- it’s set in the 40’s, just after wwII had ended. I’m sorry if everything moves really fast, I was just trying to write a lot of info and not have it drone on and on. Also at certain points it might seem like that one I did where they recorded everything but I promise it’s different! Sorry for this monster of a note Hope you beauties enjoy!)
I finished applying my red lipstick and sighed contently as I looked at myself in my vanity. I looked quite decorated- pearls, my best dress, and my new lipstick. I would only wear the best to see my Philly.
I checked the clock next to my bed and smiled excitedly as I saw it was finally time to leave and meet my baby at the train. It’d been so long since I’d seen him and all I wanted to do was kiss him all over.
The time had finally come; my baby nearly jumped out of the train to see me. He was finally home.
“Darling,” he held me tightly after kissing me with so much power.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you terribly. I’m sure it was fun knockin’ old Adolf down but I’m so happy to have you back here. I have never been so anxious and stressed as I have the last year, not knowin’ if you were coming home.” I shook my head and shuddered.
“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to just focus on how happy we are right now. What do you say, lets go dancing tonight?” He wrapped his arm around my waist and we began walking to the exit.
“I’ve waited so long for that,” I grinned up at him.
That night, we stood out on the floor with our arms wrapped tightly around each other. We didn’t even move when the announcer came out on stage.
“Alright folks, we’ve got a real treat for you tonight. Here to perform for you is miss Lauren Michelle,” he introduced a lovely young singer.
The band picked up with “It’s Been A Long, Long Time.” I looked up at Phil, tears prickling in my eyes.
“It’s our song, baby.”
Months later, I had just put a record on before I began tidying the living room.
“I recognize that tune,” Phil said happily as he walked in the front door.
“You’re home early. Could you not handle being away from me anymore?” I teased, kissing his cheek.
He took of his coat and turned the volume up before taking me in his arms. “You’ll never know…” He sang into my hair. “Or how empty they all seemed without you,”
I pulled out and spun back into him. “Kiss me once, then kiss me twice,” I sang back goofily. With each part, he kissed me on either cheek.
“It’s been a long, long time.” We sang in unison, both chuckling at how cheesy it was.
Even after the record stopped, we still stood there. “Philly?” I piped up after a few moments.
“Hmm?” He hummed into my hair.
“I think after all this time, you’re still the dead hoofer in this relationship.” I giggled.
“You’re a witch, Mrs. Lester.”
“Hey philly?” I said again.
“What now?” He joked.
My pregnancy was one of the more rough points in my life. Everything was swell at first, but I was quickly put on bed rest because my heart was under too much strain.
At one point, I began to cry in bed from feeling so detached from everything. Phil, being the dear he is, decided to “give me a show.”
“And what kind of show will I be receiving, hmm?” I wiggled my eyebrows.
Phil laughed. “Get your mind out of the gutter, little miss. I’m going to give you a nice show.” He walked over to the record player in our room and put something on.
“How did I know.” I rolled my eyes and laughed as our song came on.
He began to “sexily” dance in front of me. He swayed his hips and pulled his hands slowly up his body like a show girl. I laughed loudly, ignoring the pain in my back.
“You’re a mess!” I felt tears coming, I was laughing so hard. I also found the harder I laughed, the more my back hurt.
“Alright, alright, you have to stop. My back is gonna break if I keep laughing.” I smiled but it quickly faded.
“What’s wrong?” Phil came and sat next to me on the bed.
“Oh, just back pain. It’s hurting particularly bad today, I’m not sure why,” I waved it off.
“You know, it’s so weird how our lives have been.” He mused. “I got drafted, which seemed to last forever. So I proposed to you and we got married right quick,”
“And my mother nearly died when I told her we eloped. She claimed that I was so young and we’d never last.” I chuckled.
“And here we are, almost two years later.” He kissed my cheek.
He took my hand in his and we laid there for a little. I’d squeeze his hand every now and then when the pain picked up. At first it was spread out over every couple of minutes, but then it moved to constant.
“Phil,” I breathed. “Phil, I don’t think I’m alright. This really hurts,”
He sat up. “Okay, I’m gonna call the doctor. You just stay right here.”
He didn’t return after a few minutes and I began to panic. I tried to stand up, but quickly regretted it.
“Phil!” I screamed. “I’m bleeding!”
No one expected the miscarriage. Everything had been going so smoothly, we had no reason to suspect anything.
Even though I was only 11 weeks along, I was already so attached to the baby. Phil was already so attached to the baby. I felt like such a disappointment.
I didn’t want to do anything. I spent the next two weeks after the incident barely getting out of bed or eating.
“Darling? Are you awake?” Phil crept into the room one afternoon.
I didn’t roll over to look at him. “Yes.”
“I’m not gonna ask how you’re feeling. We’ve had enough calls at this point with neighbors asking. But I am gonna ask you if you’ll look at me.”
I began to cry for what felt like the millionth time the past two weeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I know you wanted a child.”
He laid down behind me and draped his arm around me. “You’re such a fat head sometimes, you know that? I have been worried sick that you were never coming out again and all this time you’ve just been worried to face me? Dear, I just want you to be safe.”
I finally rolled around. “I love you.”
“Now. Lemme see a smile. Because,” he grinned. “It’s been a long, long time.” We both broke into laughter.
Everything was peachy for a little while after that. We decided a baby wasn’t for us yet, and we went on for a while normally.
I had to get regular check ups for my heart, since the doctor said all the strain from the pregnancy and miscarriage had done no good for me.
We didn’t worry though, because he said any chances of something happening to me because of it were very slim.
“Alright, I’ve got everything…” Phil said to himself.
He grabbed his keys and headed out the door. Not long after leaving, he arrived at his destination.
“Sorry I’m late, darling. You know me, I don’t think I can ever be on time to anything.” He laughed.
After a few moments of silence, he sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t take note that you were looking particularly pale that day. I’m sorry for not making you stay home or go to the doctor or do something, anything that could’ve stopped it. I still get people now and then telling me how you were so young or it shouldn’t have happened.” He stopped for a second.
He reached out and touched the tombstone in front of him. He traced the numbers at the bottom that read, “1924-1946.”
Almost subconsciously, he began to sing quietly. “Kiss me once…” He stopped, taking a deep breath. “Then kiss me twice. Then kiss me once again.” Tears filled his eyes.
Tbh I follow a lot of fanfiction writers who are really cute and other suggestion blogs are complete dears and I may be rambling at this point but,,,let me tell you people grow on me so fast and I get little crushes so fast so I can guarantee that if you have so much as interacted with me you made my heart go “!!!” At some point
My school friends have noticed. I brought a lunch today and as usual asked anyone if they wanted some. Said i wasn’t hungry. They all kinda looked at each other and said no. I asked what was up and they said I should eat my own lunch. I haven’t eaten my food in days. I about cried eating half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It made me so sick. I ate pizza last night with the family, cereal this morning, and now a sandwich for lunch. This is ruining it all. I low key wish they would mind their business and let me eat when I want. I’m drinking plenty of water. Its perfectly safe. This is getting so fricken hard. I was doing so good😟
New FT chapter was one roller coaster to me. I tried to draw/doodle some serious Nalu/jerza/gruvia but my heart couldn’t take it so here's some fast doodles mama zeref was result from lack of sanity so please forgive me
Okay I’m sorry but I need Snow to learn something real fast and hard right now because this is getting ridiculous.
Emma is who she is because of the choices she’s made in her life. Snow did nothing in regards to that.
I get that both Snow and Charming were afraid and simply wanted to ensure their child had the best possible future, but neither one of them gets to argue that any disgust Emma feels at their actions is a direct result of those actions. Snow saying it was worth it just made me want to scream because she is basically telling Emma that anything inside her that can’t imagine hurting an innocent baby is because her parents made it that way. That it wasn’t her choice. That Emma coming out still a good person despite all the terrible things that have happened to her isn’t because of her strength and the things she’s learned, but because someone else engineered her that way.
Snow is completely invalidating Emma and all her feelings by saying, well this is why we did it, because it made you into this wonderful person see!
I just. I’m so tired of people taking away Emma’s agency and making her feel like nothing, like she’s accomplished nothing. I’m tired because first it was Neal, then it was Regina and Rumple and now it’s even her own parents. At least her father has the decency to look ashamed of himself.
The only two people who have never invalidated and put down Emma and made her feel like nothing are Henry and Killian. And Henry is her child, he idolizes her, despite understanding her flaws. Because she’s his mother and his best friend and she is always there for him. To Henry, Emma is probably the strongest person he knows. And Killian, he’s a respectful fucking person because he understands that personal agency is important.
I honestly want Snow to realize that it doesn’t matter what she and Charming did. Emma is who she is because of her own choices. They didn’t decide her feelings for her before she was even born. And they don’t get to use her disgust at what they did as justification for doing it in the first place.
So here’s my story…. On April 24th, Taylor reblogged a video of me dancing to Bad Blood and ended up lurking my blog, liking several posts (I obviously FREAKED OUT !!! Because that was the first time Taylor directly interacted with me and it made me feel so happy inside) anyways, fast forward to June 9th, three days before the Philly show. I wasn’t planning on posting about the show a lot because I’m going to another one in July with my best friend wildeztdreamz and we were going to try and meet her then, but I kind of figured it’s nearly impossible to meet Taylor out of all the fans. Therefore, I posted a few things about going to the show because I was at my cousin’s house making shirts for it!! Next thing you know, I got a message from Taylor Nation (I started crying). Then on June 10th, I got a phone call from Sierra from Taylor Nation (the LOVELIEST woman ever, and her country accent is my favorite thing) and she said she loved my videos and that Taylor loved them, and she proceeded to tell me that I would have to come a little earlier to the show because there would be meet and greet passes for me at will call. At that point, I started bawling my eyes out on the phone and I’m pretty sure Sierra couldn’t understand a word I said after that; she kept congratulating me and I kept thanking her. Then, two days finally passed by (I had to keep meeting her a secret), and I left school early to go to the concert. Since I knew ahead of time that I was meeting her, I had an outfit planned and I also wrote her a letter (it’s probably really embarrassing because it was so late when I wrote it, I don’t even remember what I said, but I remember I explained what my URL meant in the letter!!). When I got to the concert, we (my mom and I) went to will call and they kept sending us to different will call stations and I really got a workout walking around the stadium in high heels in 90 degree weather. Next thing you know, I got the meet and greet pass! My mom and I waited in line to get in the stadium and since I had to go alone to the meet and greet, I found this mother and daughter who won the Keds contest, and I walked with them to the section we had to wait in to meet Taylor. I talked to the mom about how I got my meet and greet pass, and she ended up watching the video of me dancing to Bad Blood. They were really nice to me and the little girl was sosososo cute. Anyways, we waited outside and then started moving, and the line stopped on these stairs (IT WAS SO HOT) but finally we walked past the loft 89 place and waited in an air conditioned hallway type room. Then, they called the first group into the loft 89 room to meet Taylor. Next, it was my turn. So, I walked into loft 89 (it’s absolutely the most adorable place ever, and it’s way smaller than you’d imagine but it’s also way better than you’d imagine) and then I saw Taylor in the small little room with the camera, and everyone who met her came out smiling and freaking out. It finally hit me that I was going to meet Taylor, and when it was my turn they handed me the card to get my picture later off the website. When I walked in the small room with Taylor, she was turned around talking to her people. I didn’t want to be annoying but I kind of like tapped on her shoulder (I think) and said “taylor” and she turned around and casually (as if we were like childhood friends) said “oh hey Jen” and my heart stopped. After that moment everything was kind of a blur, but I asked her if I could stand on her left side and she was like “sure!!” She hugged me and I thanked her for watching and liking my videos and she said “oh yeah I love your videos!!” And I think she said something else about my videos before we took the picture and then I walked away and right before I left I shouted “I LOVE YOU” and she said “I’ll see you online.” Once I walked out, I started crying so hard and heard someone say “see I told you people cry after meeting her!!” I couldn’t control my emotions because she knew my name and told me she loved my videos and I just kept remembering that throughout the night and couldn’t contain myself. After the meet and greet, I got to my seats and went on to see if Taylor was online and I saw that she liked two of my posts. I started crying in front of my mom. It made me even more emotional because the last thing she said was “I’ll see you online” and she stayed true to her word and went on my page and liked my post. I just love Taylor so much for making all of this possible. I am so grateful to have her in my life. She is the most beautiful person inside and out (especially in real life) and she cares about us all so much. The concert was the BEST thing ever! I danced like nobody was watching (even though several people were) and I don’t regret it at all. Taylor, if you’re reading this, thank you for not only inviting me to meet you but for indirectly introducing me to so many wonderful people online. I’ve never felt more welcome anywhere, and even though I may not be the prettiest or most popular person in school, I feel happy because of Taylor, and NOTHING can or will beat that. I hope each and every one of you gets to experience this feeling of pure happiness and joy, and I can’t wait to read all of your stories one day. I will never forget this moment or experience. (I’m going to finish this off with explaining my username just in case any of you still don’t understand it: urineluv is a pun for you are in love, okay goodbye now I love you all)