i made this like three years ago

anonymous asked:

i would like to curse you to a thousand years of capitalist oppression for you have made me listen to every rise against song three times each by this point. i thought i was free of them after i got tired of them six years ago, but you have brought them back into my life. curse thee, cat.

I won’t crawl on my knees for you
I won’t believe the lies that hide the truth
I won’t sweat one more drop for you
Cause we are the rust upon your gears

hey remember after iron man 2 came out and everyone was like “lol tony and I are one, tony’s so relatable” and then when the first avengers came out and everyone was like “aww tony didn’t mention himself in the super power lineup poor baby :( I relate tho” and then Tony’s ptsd and depression stopped being so cute and relatable and starting being debilitating and his anxiety wasn’t a quirk it was an untreated mental illness that gave him hyper-paranoia and made him make questionable decisions and then he stopped being everyone’s quirky fave and became tumblr’s scapegoat and the embodiment of all that is evil because “remember how tony sold weapons, remember when tony was mean to Steve on the helicarrier” even though you guys completely ignored that like three years ago lol remember that those were good times

“The cocaine made me feel important. I thought I was always right. I was fighting a lot of people. I was cheating on my wife. I felt like I had superpowers. I was hiding my addiction from everybody. Nobody knew I was using until I had a breakdown. I stayed up doing coke for three days, and became convinced that the television was speaking to me. I tried to get through the front door of the largest television station in Brazil– screaming that I was Jesus. They put me in a clinic for eighteen days. That was three years ago. I don’t mind talking about it. I’m embarrassed by it, but it happened. And it caused me to get clean. It was humiliating, but it’s also the reason I’m able to sit on this bench– calm, relaxed, and not thinking about drugs.” (São Paulo, Brazil)

Mental breakdown tag lol

do I use this script or not

also vedj - still going, but will probably miss some days and that’s OKAY
I’m worried for this video, because rather than generalising mental illness as important, and needs to be talked about, I go into detail about the specifics of what I’m feeling. And it’s not pretty. If you can’t relate, and I hope you don’t, I’m going to seem very very strange. But mental illness isn’t simple, it’s not all let’s blow on thumbs together to stop these darn panic attacks, or this cute cartoon girl crying in a corner. It’s so much bigger and uglier and more complex.
I haven’t been making videos because I didn’t know how to when my head has been consumed and overtaken by what I’m about to talk about. But I think I’ve figured it out.
so here’s the thing
you may have seen on twitter
i mentioned that i haven’t really felt like i’m here since i was 17 in a vid recently
and then within the last week that sort of upped as a problem by like, 80%
i went to wales for some shoots, felt crazy the whole weekend, then came back and got very panicky about the fact that I was going mad
I had slept fine, and I kept expecting to wake up better, but I just didn’t
I’ll explain what this all actually is and how it feels in a bit, plz hold
so I got back, and knew that I felt messed up, so tried registering to the doctors
walked there, in my weird dream state, took a proof of address cause I knew I needed that, handed it in, and then they said that I needed proof of address within the last two months
i was teetering on the edge of tears and also feeling really weird so I think they must have thought I was actually insane
I forgot how to say thanks and bye so I think I just left, dunno
walked home, in this strange, bright dream world
tried finding proof of address, forgot how to talk to my housemate, scared she was going to notice that I was drunk, except i wasn’t drunk
and then my mum called and said dodie
are you okay
and I just sort of
broke
i was sobbing, rummaging through bin bags to try to find some sort of proof of address, on the phone to mum, and I decided to visit home home for some sort of familiarity, cause I used to feel so normal and alive in that house, when I was younger
so I went home home, crying on the train, panicking about the fact that I was going mad and all my friends were like dodie wtf
that was when I tweeted saying I needed a break
then I saw mum and started crying about the fact that I left my old bedroom bed in dovan flat, cause I just wanted my normal bed in my normal room so I could feel normal
and I came home but of course I wasn’t magically cured because going to that house is not the same as time travel
i’m not taking a trip to 2012 when I go home, as much as I want to, i’m a broken dodie visiting a broken house and a broken ish family
I even visited my old primary school which shut down, like, years ago, and I wandered around with hedy
I don’t think that helped, cause it felt like it had just, grown leaves and aged in like 20 seconds
it just made me feel even weirder
so what am I feeling? Okay. let me explain. Or try to.
here are a bunch of messages I have sent to friends of mine, to try and explain wtf this is
“i’m so tired
I’m just so tired I feel like I’ve been awake for 4 days And I don’t feel like I’m here I feel like I’m drunk Like I’ve had three wines and shots and beer and I’m tired and ready to go home and I can’t talk to anyone because I’ve forgotten how I usually talk
I don’t even look like me
Everything is so wrong and weird and scary
I honestly think I’m going mad
I can’t stop crying
I’ve got such a bad headache” to lucy
And I’ve just constantly felt like Drunk and blind You know when you’re hammered
And everything’s really bright and you can’t remember how to talk properly and you’re not really taking anything in cause you feel really weird and you can touch things and see things and talk to people but you’re not really There
I genuinely genuinely think I’ve gone mad
And I don’t know if I’m ever going to see things like normal again” to sammy
“Here’s the thing
I’m alive
I can breathe
I can eat and talk and sleep and see and feel
So I should be okay
And objectively, I am fine
So why am I not
It’s one of those things that I keep thinking about over and over to the point where my head is like is this really happening and then I’m like is WHAT really happening
I used to not understand mental illnesses at all
I was like
Just think of cats and rainbows
But now I get it
It’s so much deeper in your brain than cats and rainbows
I used to say if I ever got dementia or something id fight it
But how can you fight it when the it is the thing you’re using to fight with
Dodie has gone full blown mad” to jon
now, thanks to the last vid, and to google, I’ve found out what this probably is
and I’m trying my best to register and see a doctor and get therapy and sort this out and also
I know what you’re thinking
if you have no idea what I’m talking about, if you’ve never had anything even close to this, if you are mentally dandy
you’re thinking dodie
you sound mental
just shut up,
turn it off
you’re fine
you’re obsessing over nothing, you’re attention seeking, just stop thinking about it
firstly, I am so happy and thankful that you feel normal and happy and go and enjoy your life because you can
and secondly, I would do anything to turn this off and feel normal again, literally anything. But I can’t. not right now. I don’t know how.
so. here’s my plan.
I’m going to act fucking normal.
I can still sing. I am still alive, on this planet, even though I don’t feel like it. I still find things funny, I still can taste food, I can make jokes, and write songs and hang out with friends, even though I literally feel like I’m hiding something from everyone and I keep looking at everyone as if I’m a robot.
but I’m going to sort this out, somehow. I’m going to sleep before midnight and wake up before 9, I’m going to give myself weekends, I’m going to do mindfullness meditation at 11am, and Im going to go running at least twice a week and eat healthy and drink water and not drink too much alcohol and treat myself when I’ve done well and not overwhelm myself. And I’m going to go to a doctor, and then therapy, and deal with this. But this will not consume me.
Yeah I feel fucking weird. Bring it. I’m so done with the constant buzz in my head - why do I feel like this why do i feel like this why do i feel like this
I just do. And I can’t change it right now. It’s not going to turn off. and I can’t just stop the world until I feel normal again, because I’ll get to my 70s and be like well shit, I missed it all.
So I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to make the videos that make me happy. And I’m going to laugh about the fact that I’m a bit mental. Cause what else can you do.

Whilst I type this I’m on the phone to my bank to get a statement sent to prove my address to go BACK to the doctors to prove I live here then get an appointment to get referred to therapists. The NHS may be free but it’s not bloomin easy lol.

gotta say making this video was super healthy for me. It was good to edit together and see that I can pass as a functioning human.

tacmc  asked:

Drunk Rhys, Cass, and Az talking about their women when they get home from a night out. PLEASE.

Here you go, BFF. This became much fluffier than I anticipated it would be. Enjoy!
.
.
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Collapsing on the couch, Rhysand loosened the topmfew buttons on his shirt. The sleeves were already rolled up, exposing his inked forearms and as he stared at the designs, he could have sworn the swirls were moving.
A can popped up open behind him and turned to see Cassian walking into the living room carrying two beers. Azriel was only a few steps behind him, a glass of scotch in his own hand.
“Don’t you think we’ve had enough?” He asked, even as he took the cold can from his friends hand.
Plopping down next to him, Cass took a large gulp from his own as Azriel took a seat on the fire place. “The girls are off getting primped and pampered at whatever spa Mor took them to. This is our night. Let’s enjoy it.” He held the can in the air, toasting the evening.
Truth be told, their evening had begun about 5 hours ago, in a bar in downtown Velaris. A couple of beers, turned into a few more, which became a couple of shots, and then a few more.
After Ubering home, they elected to just crash at Elain and Azriel’s new home.
As it were, Cassian was staring around the room. “So did you even get a say in the decorating?”
Az just quirked a dark brow at his brother. “What do you mean?”
Cass motioned around the room. “Dude. There’s fucking flowers everywhere.”
Azriel rolled his eyes as Rhys began to chuckle. “Right, or I could decorate my home like you decorated the apartment to surprise Nesta.”
A drunken outright giggle bubbled through Rhys’s lips as he remembered the look on Nesta’s face as they all walked into the apartment for the first time, her unknowing Cass had decorated it with the finest Illyrian war memorabilia he could find. He spent weeks returning and shipping old weapons and documents back their former homes, and soon his own home looked less like a museum and more like the place he’d live with the love of his life.
A set of hazel eyes turned towards Rhys. “And what are you laughing about? That man cave you always bragged about looks pretty good as an artist’s studio I guess.”
Rhys pursed his lips. “Touché,” he said.
The males laughed and fell into a gentle quiet.
“How the hell did we get so lucky?” Azriel whispered, breaking the silence, his speech slightly slurred.
“I don’t know, man,” Cassian said, as usual the most intoxicated of the trio. “But I’ll do anything I can to make Nes happy for the rest of my life.”
The men looked at each other, and the coincidence was not lost on them. The three outcasts who had grown up as brothers had fallen in love with the three most beautiful women who had even walked on this earth.
“There’s this thing that Elain does,” Azriel mused, leaning his elbows on his knees, empty glass between his legs. “Before I come to bed. She’ll get into my side first, and warm it up for me, before scooting to her own side to fall asleep. After I finish my paperwork or whatever I’m doing, every night, without fail, my said of the bed is warm, and my pillow smells like her.” He leaned back on his hands and looked at the ceiling. “It seems stupid, but, I don’t know.” He paused. “No one has ever loved me that much.”
Cassian kicked his boots off and rested his socked feet on the edge of the the coffee table. “Nesta wakes up at 5:15 every single morning to make me coffee.” His brothers’ eyebrows shot up. If there was one thing known about the eldest Archeron sister, it was that she valued her sleep. Cass only nodded. “She wakes up on her own every morning to get up and make me coffee while I’m in the shower. Since we moved in together, there’s been a fresh cup of coffee, made just how I like it, steaming on the bathroom counter, waiting for me when I get out of the shower. And she’s already curled up back in bed, fast asleep.” He stopped at looked at his brothers. “No one has ever loved me that much.”
Rhys smiled, thinking about how three years ago, he’d accidentally spilled his drink on a girl at the New Year’s party his friend was throwing, and today, she was his wife and somehow, her sisters loved his brothers.
“What about you, man?”
Rhys’s head snapped up at the sound of Azriel’s voice. He and Cass were looking at him, the misty haze of the liquor from the night softening his friend’s faces. “What?”
“What does Feyre do to prove that she loves you?” Cassian asked.
Rhysand sat back and crossed his ankle over his knee.
“She does…,” he paused and thought.“Well, everything.” He smiled. “If I have a shit day at the office, I come home to one of my favorite meals without having to say anything. If I’m aggravated at a client, she takes me to the gym to train instead of sitting there and getting angrier and angrier. She’s my other half. It’s not just that she loves me. I’ve never loved anyone that much.”
Cassian held his can out in front of him. “To the Archeron girls. May they never figure out how much better than us they can do.”
With a laugh, the clinked glasses and finished off the rest of their drinks, hearts and dignity intact.

How to become a good student (again) 3: Yearn for friendship - not worship; not debasement

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

‘tis done! This beast just got longer and longer, so I decided to cut it down a bit for the sake of readability. But let me know if there’s something that was too vague - the nuance might have got lost in the editing process.

Alright, let’s get down to business (to defeat! The Huns!)! So, if you’re an ex-good student, I’m pretty sure that you know this static in your head, right? Whenever you really need to do something but you just can’t get up and do it, so you keep procrastinating even though you hate it and keep scrolling and scrolling or gaming and gaming and feel more and more guilty?

Well, it might not be the most immediate analogy, but for this post I want you to consider that what connects you and your subject of study is essentially a relationship and that this static is (among other things) an indicator of how screwed up your relationship is. Just like with real people, your relationships with subjects can either

  • prosper and bear fruit (me & Creative Writing)
  • become cold and distant (me & French)
  • or, worst of all, turn sour and actively harmful. (me & PE, back in school)

Now, nobody likes to hear that they’re relationship-ing wrong. And it is true that different approaches work for different people. But here are the counter-productive relationships that I’ve personally ended up in and I’m gonna show you how I got into and out of them, so you can try to do the same. Maybe it’ll help you lift that static from your head.

Side-Note: Always remember that, since your subjects are just that (subjects), and not real people, you are the only one who can actually mend these relationships and, conversely, you are the one who screwed them up in the first place (probably with good intentions, though).

So, we’ll take them in this order:

1) Overeager Debasement

2) Undereager Debasement

3) Worship


(Oh, and in case you wanna catch up:

Masterpost 

Part 1

Part 2)


1) Overeager Debasement

What is it?

The desire to do everything, perfectly, at the same time, right now. Not to limit yourself to just one field of study, but to master them all, to reign supreme above knowledge, to keep your mind wide open to new possibilities, similarities and contradictions.
You overvalue your own capacities and undervalue the needs and difficulties of your subject.
(also refer to the first post for this)

How did you get here?

(read picture from right to left)

So. Many. Possible. Reasons.

  • it’s a cage. The idea of doing just one thing for the rest of your life scares you and you feel imprisoned at the thought of it
  • you know that you could be outstanding if you applied yourself
  • you know that you could be even more outstanding if you became accomplished in multiple fields
  • you want to find connections between fields nobody’s ever considered before
  • you feel like you’ve wasted your last few years and need to catch up to others
  • you’re afraid that you’re not good enough
  • you’re afraid of being ignorant
  • you’re arrogant

No matter the reason (I’ve gone through them all), people caught in this state of mind shovel more and more onto their plate.
And then wonder why they can’t swallow it all.

What do you think you’re doing?

A labour of love, most likely. You think you love languages and sciences and athletics and programming and cooking and hanging out with friends and being alone and so you just want to do it all!
You don’t want to limit yourself! You don’t want to lose any time! But there’s just so much and you have so little energy and ugh, if only I wasn’t destined for greatness, then I could relax like other little people, but no, I need to keep pushing! In every! Direction! At the same! Time!

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend who gets up at 6am, watches the sun rise, does yoga, eats a healthy breakfast, goes for a quick run, comes back home, answers all correspondence, is artistic for a few hours, then scientific for a few hours, then social for a few hours and ends the day with tiny masterpieces in each area, goes out with friends or family to grab a healthy dinner and goes to sleep, happy and balanced :)

Well, you know what, my starry-eyed friend?

What are you actually doing?

You’re the mental equivalent of a social butterfly.
You’re being fucking disrespectful.

You’re always on the run and never able to really commit to anything, because you’ve already scheduled something else afterwards. You’re shallow, deluded, that one friend that always comes in running, screaming “Besties  ~ ♥” and everyone shifts uncomfortably in their seats and smiles a painful smile and humours you, because they know you mean well, but they also know that you know nothing about them. 
You’ve never been there for them ever, but always expect them to be there for you. Whenever they want to talk about themselves, you nod and then proceed to about yourself and your plans and “ohmygosh, this is so nice, we need to meet more often ~ ♥ “. But at least you mean well, so they’ve agreed to keep it simple and on the “The weather is nice today”-level with you. 

But here you are, wondering why you’re not making any progress.
Mysterious.

So what do I do?

Well, you need to go from this:

To this:

How? More on that below.


2) Undereager Debasement

What is it?

This stage is what happens when you notice that your lofty ideals from Overeager Debasement cannot be fulfilled. You turn bitter, hateful, cold. You think you’re a failure, you think you were too soft. Instead of wanting to be friends with everyone, you now want to rule over everyone, fuck what they want.

You’re burnt out. You’re done. You just want to get through these stupid classes and catch a goddamn break, goddamnit.

And you WILL get through. You’re too proud to do anything else. But you don’t really care about any of it.
You just want to make it.

How did you get here?

If you were a good student, you probably heard at some point or another that you were “different” and that your complex and mysterious ways were not understandable and definitely not achievable for your average classmate.

Most people who tell you this mean well. A few want to make fun of you, but most actually do mean it as a compliment. But they don’t know how dangerous it is to hear it again and again, because regardless of whether it’s true or not, you start to believe it.
You start to believe that somehow, you have a higher calling, a higher standard. And you start to long for that day when your high standards will be met - when you will go to that one mysterious class where everyone is just as eager as you are, where the “Oh, captain, my captain!”-teacher will spark a fire in your brain that will never go out and when your ominous “gifts” can finally be put to good use for the prosperous future of mankind.


And you work.

And work.

And the class never comes.

You feel the weight on your shoulders when teachers talk of “high expectations”, you feel it crush you a little bit every time your friends tease you about your genuine fear that you might not get an A, that you might lose it all, that your “gifts” could disappear and you’ll be stranded and useless and you put in the hours, you work your ass off to keep that high standard, all in the hope of having that one miraculous class that never comes.

I realized that that class would never come when I entered university.

University, I’d told myself, would be my Arcadia, my Eden, my academic paradise where all my hard work would be rewarded!
Instead, I only found more drudgery, more incompetent professors, more disinterested students and even more bureacracy. To say that I was “disappointed” would be putting it very lightly.

I became disoriented and disenchanted. I realized that I could get through most classes with half-assed effort, I was hardly ever challenged, I floated along and hated every second of it. I blamed my boring teachers, the imperfect system, the teachers who had given me hope only for me to watch it crash and go up in flames.

What do you think you’re doing?

Being badass, cool and detached, most likely.

You dream of yourself as a master and your subjects as slaves. They bow to your will, they dance to your tune, you command them with the snap of a finger.

“Look, you slave of the system”, you say, lying on a velvet sofa, “Look, at how it hardly takes any effort for me to pass these classes! Look at how I spend my time doing things I actually like and that are actually worth it, unlike these stupidly easy classes taught by stupidly incompetent professors in a stupidly screwed-up system! Look at me, being edgy and drowning in self-hatred because I can physically feel myself gliding off the rails that made me so “special” and becoming one of the average people in the masses, haha. Ha. Ha. Screw academia, but still give me good grades, amirite?”

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend that never studies for classes, comes for three lectures per semester and still manages to get perfect grades because everything you do in school is, like, so five years ago. That one friend who has read all the classics in their spare time, has conquered and enslaved all the knowledge actually worth knowing, will quote obscure Polish philosophers you’ve never heard of and plays the piano with a perfect pitch. They’re the wisest, most culture-non-conforming people you know - they’ve been up until 5am, wandering the streets and drinking vodka from a bottle while forcefully pentrating the mysteries of the universe all by themselves until they finally fall asleep on a park bench and awake with an epiphany about Klein bottles.
They’re “special”.

What are you actually doing?

Caring more about appearing “special” than actually trying to be “special”, that’s what you’re doing.

But, look, what made you so “special” and “different” in the first place was not a “calling” or “gifts” or the fact that you wrote good grades and were destined for greatness.

Here’s a handy chart I’ll use later - you were lucky enough to fall into the green zone, lucky enough to be born with an innate respect and a love for learning. That’s what made you “special”. That’s what made you succeed. Not pressure, not warped ideals and certainly not the fear of failure.


But somewhere along the way you forgot that and only focussed on the results. You started to believe yourself to be so special that everybody else should cater to you.
The fancy titles, the awe-struck looks, the “You’re so amazing”s and the “The genius of a decade”, the planned Nobel prize speech and the prestige, the dream others had lovingly created for you and you had slowly absorbed and warped as your own? It got to you. Hell, it got to me.
And it became more important than learning itself.
Somewhere along the way, you and I, we became an arrogant and lazy assholes.

You looked down on your easy courses and homework and instead of recognising how lucky you are, doing it in a minute and a half and then putting in the extra work on top to dig deeper and to maybe contribute something of value and fun, you threw it aside with a snide remark as beneath you.
Of course it wasn’t fun. Of course it wasn’t challenging. You never even tried to make it either.

(And don’t get me wrong: I honestly do think that the education system as it is right now needs MAJOR reforms. But right now? It is what it is. And instead of making the best of it and doing what you once loved so much, you succumbed to societal pressures you found yourself unable to fulfill and said “meh”.
You cared so much about the fame and the title that the relationship itself didn’t matter.)

But this isn’t the master-slave relationship you imagine it to be.
It’s a trophy-friendship. Once upon a time, you got on really well with this person and other people loved your friendship. You fell in love with the ideal, with their connections, their money, their prestige, their name on a CV, and you stuck around just for that.
You valiantly ignore the reality of the state of things between you two
and take them out only when absolutely needed, only when things are this close to falling apart and so you keep walking a fine, fine line.
Whenever a deadline approaches, you shower them with attention and love and, gingerly, they open up to you and you see a depth and complexity to them that astounds you and makes you think “Imagine! Imagine how much more I could have seen if only I’d started earlier?”
But the moment the crisis has passed, you toss them aside once again.

Because this is enough to make your name.
You may not remember much about these nights or about the person at all, but the only thing that counts is that it will fulfill your “special” prophecy and make you a legend, right?

Well, always remember this:
(read picture from right to left)

You’re not “special” if you made it to university. You’re not “special” if you’ve made your name. 
It comes down to a simple choice: do you value appearances over integrity or the other way round? Do you dare to look like a fumbling idiot again when you start something new? Is the “appearing like an idiot”-part more important to you than the “learning/creating something new”-part? 
Have a think about it.

3) Worship

“Alright”, you’ll say, “Alright. I get it. So I’ll treat my “friends”/subjects with respect and integrity and I’ll take all the time and concentration I can bestow upon them, just as I would upon real friends. But do you want me to be like, uh - like…

What is it?

“…like one of those anime characters that lives only for their dream and gets up at like 6am, does the thing, talks about the thing, breathes the thing, goes to bed, dreams of the thing and then wakes up at 6am to do the thing?”

(Google: Did you mean Hinata Shouyou?

Yes, yes, I did, google.)

Well, no, I don’t want you to do that. See, that’s the other extreme and unless you’re an anime character, chances are that it won’t work out for you. 

How did you get here?

Personally, I was caught in this trap for a loooooong time. Anime offered me a new way of relating to my passions that neither my family nor my school had ever shown me: unabashed obsession.
I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be obsessed. I wanted to give myself up to a higher ideal, something above human consciousness, something that would endure. I wanted to, well, get up at 6am, do the thing, talk about the thing, breathe the thing and so on - “the thing” in question being, of course, studying. I made elaborate plans, complicated lists, study-plans that shift on a daily basis and cover all grounds, I wanted to study for two hours before school, wanted to repeat lessons, wanted to give myself up to knowledge, made cool covers for my notebooks, made mock exams for my friends to use, planned to focus on each continent for a month and study it, planned to listen to one new composer each day, planned to go to the museum every week, planned to analyze Sherlock Holmes and think just like him, planned to - you get the idea.

I wanted to be like this:

What do you think you’re doing?

Being but a humble servant to the eternal workings of truth. Knowing thou art unworthy, yet suffering the perfection of study.

I wanted to go from 0 to 100, I wanted knowledge and wisdom to transform and deliver me, I wanted to feel enlightened, I wanted to feel my brain burning, pushing frontiers and breaking through to new horizons, I wanted to elevate myself to touch even the lowest levels of truth.
I wanted to do something noble, something worthwhile, something that could never be critisized and would always be valued, something with eternal meaning that would echo through the ages and I wanted to be even the tiniest cog in the machinery of mind.

What are you actually doing?

Being, quite simply, an idiot.

This is one of my favourite quotes (David Wong):

“There are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.” 

The same goes for studying. As shown above, studying won’t work out if you do not treat your subjects with respect. Conversely, studying also won’t work if you continue to idolize it as work beyond all work and reproach, as the only true calling, as the realm of the genii and by self-flagellating yourself and repeating “I’m but a humble servant in your kingdom of reason and will never reach where you are, but will spend all my time trying to reach you.” 

Why? Because by saying “I’ll never reach you or be worthy of you”, you’ve already sealed your fate. Some students (no matter how well they actually perform) are stuck thinking that they are stupid and incapable of doing well. Others think that the trick is in the preparation and they undergo complicated rituals of finding exactly the right study spot, exactly the right study drink, exactly the right study time, etc. in the hope of channeling the connection between their godly subject and themselves, but it never turns out quite as glamorous as they’d hoped (once again, speaking from experience).

This is because you cannot force a true friendship if you think yourself unworthy of it. It will always be worship. 

And why are you worshipping?
Because it takes the pressure right off of you
. This always annoyed me about some of my fellow students. They treated becoming a good student as this miraculous and unlikely event that only happens to the #blessed.
I insisted that “no”, it could be done. “Yes”, it was hard work, but ultimately absolutely doable. But now that I’ve been in their shoes? I understand.
Admitting that you could have done it anytime implies failure on your part for not having done it. By saying “Oh no, it is so very complex and divine and a lowly worm like me could never hope to crawl in its shadows”, you shift the focus away from yourself and onto the thing itself. 

But this is a synthetic, manufactured relationship with a partner that does not even exist. It is, at its heart, a kyaa  ~ I hope senpai notices me! (๑♡⌓♡๑) - kind of relationship. It’s idolizing not a person’s true character, but their appearance, their aesthetic and the values that they represent for you. It’s not really listening to what they’re saying, but warping their words so they fit into your perfect idea of them.
Just, unlike with undereage debasement, you do not play pretend that everything’s fine and secretly hate the other person deep down - you honestly idolize them to heaven and back, so you could never possible reach them.
You’re using them to fill in the holes in your own personality.

And that … just isn’t fun? I dunno about you, but treating studying as something that must be done perfectly with exactly the right pen and the perfect face-mask after the right smoothie and in the right lighting by a window overgrown with ivy and with perfect concentration from the first moment and unwavering, knightly passion and exact planning from 6am to bedtime all because I know deep down that I will not be able to fulfill these ideals and thus don’t have to feel bad about not reaching them just … isn’t for me. I don’t like my relationships to be all overstructured and “perfect” and high maintenance like that.

I want my friendships and my studying to be authentic. And that means that sometimes it’s messy and sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s quoting Keats while lying on the floor at 2am in the morning and chugging milk out of a carton, but it’s real.
I truly do understand this longing to make studying look pretty and like a magical realm, because when you’re in the flow that’s really what it feels like. But the beauty comes along with the practice, not the other way round.

No, but honestly - what do I DO then?


Y’remember Hippogriffs from Harry Potter? That’s how I imagine my subjects. Approach them carefully, honestly, maintaining eye contact and as equals and they will respect you. This scene:

This scene is what I’m talking about. 
If you were in a worship-state, you would only admire them from afar, gushing over how beautiful they are, but sad that they would never deign to even look in your general direction. (think of all the subjects you thought would be way too difficult for you)
If you were in a debasement-state, you’d either try to make friends with all the hippogriffs, hopping from one to the other and forming no bond with either or you’d “tsk” disdainfully and try to force them to obey you against their will. (*cough* Malfoy *cough*)

If, however, you’re in the green, there will be mutual respect between you and you will be able to fly.

So what does it mean to be in the green? 
It means not to do any of the above, obviously, so 

  • take your time for and invest brainpower into each and every one of your subjects - be a good friend. Be there. Listen. Even if they have crazy ideas at 4am in the morning. 
  • appreciate your subjects and know that they are more than the teacher who tries to get you to know them. Sometimes, some people just have a really shitty PR department (especially maths)
  • don’t think too much or too little of yourself. You can do amazing things, but that does not give you the license not to do amazing things anymore, rest on your laurels and expect others to applaud you for it. 

  • some relationships take longer than others to build, but getting to understand someone who puzzled you from the first moment and challenged your beliefs will improve your own personality as well
    (side-eye at PE. Yes, I love you now, you crazy athletic bastard)
  • do it for the sake of the relationship itself, because you enjoy their company. Results are presents which, although very much appreciated, should not be the main motivator to keep you going.
    This essentially means that you should think of studying as hanging out with a friend - already makes it seem so much more inviting and way less daunting, does it not?

    (Logic and I, being saltmates. Real friends judge other people together)
  • be aware that all friendships go through rocky patches and some subjects might take a while to warm up to you or you to them. But if you think that it’s worth it, then you gotta power through that. If you don’t think it’s worth it, you gotta be brave enough to say good-bye. 


Look, what I’m actually saying is … be Souma Yukihira from Food Wars.

Food Wars is a crazy and at times pretty pervy manga/anime, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t also one of the best pieces of fiction I’ve ever consumed and if Souma isn’t one of the most admirable main characters I’ve ever encountered.  

The relationship between him and cooking is filled with trust, love and equality. He trusts his cooking skills, because he knows that they have spent a long time together - cooking won’t let him down and he won’t ever let cooking down by stopping to look for ways to improve.

That doesn’t mean, however, that he’s always deadly serious - he loves to play around with cooking and to try ridiculous new things. He never forgets the joy that even the simplest form of cooking brings him. 

There’s one great episode where he puts his life as a chef on the line and someone fearfully asks him what he’d do if he lost. He shrugs and says he could become a lawyer or a teacher or something. So while he loves cooking profoundly, he does not worship it and he knows that there are other relationships he could build up if he had to. He just …doesn’t want to, because cooking is his bff. 

He loves to take on challenges to see how far he and cooking have come -

- and he takes challenges very seriously -


- but takes it even more seriously if he loses -

- and nonetheless knows that they are stronger for the challenges they have faced together. 

So, yes, this is what it means to be in the green. Cherish your friendships, hang out together, be honest, funny, clever, curious and you. 

You’ll be surprised at how much fun the two of you will have, now that all the pretensions and pressures are gone. 

Just …hang out and have fun.

(and maybe watch Food Wars!, because damn, Souma is the MVP of my inspirational heroes)

Have a great day and I’ll see you in the next (and hopefully shorter) part 4 :)

6

One Piece Treasure Cruise Post Skip Swimsuit art. Two years ago they made these three in their pre-skip styles so it’s nice to see how they designed them for their current styles. As I’ve mentioned before, I love the effort they put into their designs. Each style looks like it’s something the character would wear instead of something generic like some other merch does.

I’m almost too lazy to make this post because God it’s just so self explanatory but my loyalty to Temari runs too deep so here goes: 

They did exactly what I called they were gonna do and made her an over aggressive nagging house wive. This is why I complained over and over again three years ago when I saw they had moved her to Konoha because I KNEW someway somehow they were going to subject her character to this. They want her to be Yoshino 2.0 even though that’s NEVER been who she is because “lmao get it Shikamaru is just like his dad! Parallels!!”. They don’t take the time to think about how her character would actually react because none of that matters now - she exists solely to be Shikamaru’s wife. 

Some people are crying “abuse!” at what she did but I don’t really want to go there tbh. It’s very clear that in the Naruto universe things we find abusive are just par for the course. Calling out Temari in this instance would require we call out basically ever other female character which is not realistic. Domestic violence in Naruto is always played for laughs which is obviously fucked up but not something I think it’s fair to fault the characters for as we’re not intended to see it as abusive (even though realistically it is). No, what I really take issue with is the fact that being an overbearing and strict mother/wife is basically all Temari is given to do. 

This woman was born in one of the most fucked up situations of any character we see. He father was a walking human disaster, her mother was dead, and her youngest brother had a nasty habit of slaughtering anyone who looked at him the wrong way. She has always been strong and confident but throughout the series she softens considerably as she learns caring is not a weakness. She is a better diplomat than either of her brothers and remains calm and collected in even the tensest of situations. Her dynamic with Shikamaru has always been one of mutual respect and understanding which is what makes their relationship work so well (and IMO better than any of the canon relationships we got). Yes, Temari is a take no shit kind of person who probably WOULD chastise her son for his pitiful behavior - but not in the way we’re shown. In Boruto her parenting method basically amounted to “I’m just going to hit you and intimidate you until you get the picture and ultimately just end up listening to your cooler nicer wiser dad.” She doesn’t actually say anything of significance to Shikadai at all - that is reserved entirely for Shikamaru as he’s the influential one in their sons life. Temari is just there to be the ol’ ball-and-chain ~what a drag~ mom whose only dominion is the house she is confined to. THEN there’s the fact that Temari refusing to make dinner inevitably meant neither Shikamaru nor Shikadai could eat - as if a grown man could not make his own dinner and HAD to have his wife do it because it’s her domestic ~duty~. This is extra and dramatic but it actually makes me sick that they’re doing this to her. After everything she went through she would have something worthwhile to add to the conversation other than “bah you’re too easy on him I’m going to withhold meals to prove a point!!!”. She doesn’t treat her brothers like this and they’re consistently shown to value her opinion because her opinion is worth hearing. 

Temari played a crucial role in Suna politics prior to the end of the series. She sat on the council and came with Gaara to all the kage summits/meetings. She was one of the best kunoichi in the series just brimming with potential and strength and ferocity. During the war I began to get annoyed with how much they were making her revolve around Shikamaru’s character because after a certain point basically all her dialogue was in relation to him. That’s when I knew things were about to take a hard left turn for shits-ville and boy was I right. In chapter 700 ALL we see her doing is sitting in a house chastising her son and serving her brothers tea before they head out to a kage meeting without her. We don’t get any indication that she’s still affiliated with Suna, hell we don’t even get any indication that she’s still a ninja. In the boruto manga/movie she doesn’t interact with her siblings ONCE and is not with them in the pit with all the other Kage/advisors. I was happy to see she still had her fan but other than that I left highly unimpressed. Now in the anime she is ONCE AGAIN pictured in a house, serving people drinks and nagging away as if that’s all she’s good for anymore. I know it was played as a joke but that’s exactly what makes me so mad - her character has become nothing more than a trope meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The nagging housewive angle truly is the lowest hanging fruit but studio peirrot really could not resist could they.

Nevermind the fact that it would have been way funnier had they subverted the whole “why did you marry such a strict woman” thing by having Shikadai side with his mom instead, saying something to the effect of “why did you marry such an unmotivated slacker”. Can we stop treating Temari like she’s just an overly aggressive loaded gun that’s just one mistep away from going off. I mean I genuinely love Shikatema but I do not think the Boruto anime understands Shikatema. Part of me still wishes they just hadn’t got together because they don’t actually feel like “them” when they’re portrayed like this. No one is being respected as a character. 

Anyway all this to say I’m basically done with the Boruto anime now. I might still watch the next couple of episodes because curiosity is gonna get the better of me but emotionally I have severed all connections. It just comes down to the fact that I cannot handle them so grossly mischaracterizing characters that I have loved since I was 11 years old. I actually don’t mind the new gen when they’re on their own but every damn time they show one of the original characters they manage to fuck them up in some way. We see it with Temari, with Naruto, with Yamato, with Sakura. Hell I can’t stand Sasuke and even I’m mad about what they did to him post chapter 699. I am never going to like the new gen characters more than the original cast so if watching Boruto means seeing them get completely decimated then I’m not gonna watch it. Simple as that. Naruto being an absent father is the worst crime but I have no doubt they’ll continue to top that in future episodes. 

How the media made me question my sexuality for like tHREE FUCKING YEARS

- Most of my otps are gay, obviously, but I actually have very few lesbian ships.
- I’ve seen a couple posts on tumblr about how your otp is subconsciously what you’re looking for in a relationship.
- Of course, this freaked me the fuck out, because I was like “wait does that mean I’m not as attracted to females as I thought?”
- For two or three years after that, whenever someone asked me a question about my sexuality I was like “shit shit shit”.
- So flash forward to a months ago, when I’m just scrolling on the internet, doing my thing, when I wonder upon an article.
- In short, the article explained that the reason that lesbian relationships are so uncommon in media is because in order for them to be enjoyable for a majority of an audience they have to be displayed as pornographic. Not only does this often lead to an unhealthy relationship between characters, but it’s hard for viewers to make a legitimate connection to them, therefore whether they are endgame or not doesn’t matter.
- Idk how, but that actually made so much sense to me.
- Bottom line for all my female bi/pan peeps: Don’t question yourself because you don’t make deep connections with lesbian relationships in TV, it’s probably not your fault.

Meet me in London

Simon meets Baz online and they become best friends.

Based on the prompt: Baz and Simon meet online and become internet friends and skype everyday and end up in love

As always a very big thank you to @eroticgropefest for being an amazing beta!


I met Baz three years ago on tumblr. One day I saw an edit of his on my dash and I went to check his blog. The guy made black and white aesthetics that looked awesome in a dark sort of way. So I started to follow him. After he reblogged a video of a guy playing violin, I decided to send him a message.

Dragonwings61: for a disturbed guy, you really have an interesting choice in music

Disturbed-pitch: So because I’m disturbed you feel like I’m not allowed to like classical music?

Dragonwings61: Shit sorry didn’t mean it like that.

Dragonwings61: What I meant to say was

Dragonwings61: I’ve never really heard classic music before but I really liked the song :)

Disturbed-pitch: It’s one of my favourites, you should try to listen to more :)

It started there and we haven’t stopped talking since. We became so close that last year I really wanted to see what he looked like. He’d become my best friend and I wanted to see his face.

Dragonwings61: Baaaaz

Dragonwings61: I wanna ask you something

Disturbed-pitch: Hey. What is it?

Dragonwings61: I’ve been thinking about this a lot

Dragonwings61: And I really don’t want you to freak out ok?

Disturbed-pitch: Go on.

Dragonwings61: I just

Dragonwings61: I really wanna see what you look like

Dragonwings61: pls don’t freak out, If you’re not comfortable with this pls forget I ever asked

Disturbed-pitch: It’s fine Simon… I thought about it myself quite a few times lately.

Dragonwings61: Ohhh

Dragonwings61: so is that a yes?

Disturbed-pitch: Yes I’d like to see your stupid face too :)

Dragonwings61: I bet your face looks more stupid than mine

Disturbed-pitch: We shall see

We exchanged photos and one day, I was having trouble with my homework–I’d never cared for math–and he wanted to help me out so we skyped. And I’m glad we did. Baz is beautiful. He rolls his eyes a lot at me and fucking sneers but… I just really like looking at him. I like Baz a lot.

After that we became even closer. We talked almost everyday, first only for a few minutes then for hours on end. We would just turn skype on and do our own thing, like studying, or reading. Baz even played violin a few times for me to see and it was so fucking beautiful. Everything he does is perfect.

Now it’s the end of the summer and I’m going to university in a few days. I haven’t figured out what I want to major in but I’ll try a few different classes and see what sticks.

I told Baz my plan of moving to London months ago–I live in Manchester and Baz leaves in Hampshire–and he hasn’t said a word as to where he’s going. I’d love to meet him one day… I’ve just never had the courage to ask him. But I really want to touch him, make sure he’s real. I mean, of course he’s real, but I’ve never seen him outside of my screen before.

I’m at my laptop scrolling through tumblr when Baz asks to skype. I accept.

“Hey.”

“Hey Baz.” I smile at him. I’m always happy to see him.

“Listen… I’ve been meaning to tell you something for awhile.”

I stare at him through the screen. Why is he nervous? He’s making me feel nervous “Okay.”

“I just…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair “You know that I’m going to university.”

I look at him expectantly. Is he finally telling me where he’s going? It’s not like him to keep things a secret; not from me anyway.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything but–” he continues, and he’s blushing right now and I feel like blushing myself just by the way he’s looking at me. “I’m going to London.”

“What?” Wait, what? Did he really just say–

“London. I’m going to fucking London, Simon.”

“Why?” I ask stupidly. But I start grinning at him like an idiot. We’re going to be in the same city. Fuck, I’m gonna be able to hang out with him and actually see his face.

“Well there’s a really good school there… Besides, there’s someone I was really hoping to meet in person.” I feel my cheeks burning as he says this.

Holy shit this is really happening. I’m going to finally meet Baz. “When are you moving to London?”

“I’m already here. I just arrived at my aunt’s flat a few hours ago.” Then he grabs his laptop and turns it around so that I can see his new room.

“Baz?” I call him, and he puts his laptop on the desk again.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna be in London in a few days.”

“I know–”

“Let’s meet?” I say unsure, interrupting him.

“I’d like that.” he tells me, half smiling.

And there’s nothing to lose now, so I might as well try my luck. “As in, a date.”

“Oh?” He looks surprised.

“Is that cool?”

“Fuck, of course it is, Simon.”

***

We agreed to meet at Kings Cross, Baz said he would pick me up when I arrived (everything that I own fits into a bag) and then we would go on our date. I can’t believe this is happening, that he actually said yes to go out with me.

I’ve been so nervous the last couple of days because of this, of finally going to meet him. But as the train arrives at the station and I exit the platform all that anxiety melts away when I notice him staring right at me.

Once I reach him I let my bag drop to the floor. I put my arms around him to pull him closer into a tight hug and he does the same. He feels so good this close to me, and smells incredible, I don’t know how to describe it other than that he smells posh and it really fits him.

“Baz.” I say, grinning into his neck. I still can’t believe that he’s actually here in front of me.

“Hello, Simon,” he says, and it’s muffled by my hair. He holds me tight against him longer than necessary before letting me go.

When I step back all I can focus on are his lips. They were so close to mine. And I just really want to kiss him.

I put my hand on his neck and make slow movements with my thumb. “I want to kiss you…” I start,“but we haven’t even been on a date yet.” That gets me a eye roll from him.

“We’re not exactly strangers,” he says, leaning into me.

He’s so close now; if I just leaned a bit forward, we’d be kissing. “I know, but I still want to take you on a–”

And then he kisses me.


(see my snowbaz fic masterlist)

Surprise? || Jughead Jones

Prompt by @dontstopxx: Can you do a jughead x female reader where no one knows they are dating and they are having a heated make out session and then Kevin Ronnie Betty and Archie walk in and they all really ship them xx thank you I love your writing by the way

Gif by @greyjoyvs

—————

“Jughead!” you loudly whispered. “Jughead!”

Jughead removed his lips from your neck and looked at you.

“What?” he asked, out of breath.

You felt a fire ignite in you when you saw the hunger in Jughead’s eyes but decided to push the feeling away. For now.

“Do you hear that?” you asked as you craned your neck as best you could.

You and Jughead were on your bed and had been making out for the last ten minutes. The rest of the Core Four (and Kevin) were coming over any minute now and all your senses were on high alert. Jughead on the other hand…

“Come on,” he murmured in your ear before he began to nibble on your earlobe. “We have time. No one’s here yet.”

“But I could’ve sworn I heard—”

Jughead looked up at you again, a dopey smile on his face.

“No one’s here yet,” he repeated. “Okay?”

You sighed before Jughead reclaimed your lips with his again.

You and Jughead had been dating in secret for the past six months now. You had kept it on the down-low because you and Jughead didn’t want to have to deal with the others’ reactions. The squealing and cheering over the fact that you and Jughead, originally just your best friend of 10 years, was now also your boyfriend. The playful teasing that would come afterward (So what’s he like in bed, Y/N?) wasn’t exactly something to look forward to either.

You pulled away again looking up at the teenager who was practically on top of you.

“Okay, but what if—”

Jughead chuckled as he looked down at you.

“Y/N, at this point, I don’t care if they find out. Right now, I just want to be with you.”

You smiled softly at his words and Jughead leaned down to kiss you again.

“Oh, alright.” you muttered before you gave in to Jughead’s sweet kisses.

You could never resist him anyway.

Jughead slipped a hand under your shirt to gently cup at your breast, making you gasp softly.

“You sure we have time for that?” you joked in between kisses.

Jughead chuckled again.

“We’ve done it in less time before.” he said.

“Oh my God!” a voice exclaimed from your doorway making you and Jughead quickly pull away from each other, looking towards the source of the sound.

There in your doorway stood Veronica, Betty, Archie, and Kevin all staring at you with wide eyes. You and Jughead quickly jumped apart, Jughead now standing up a good five feet away from you while you sat up on your bed.

“W-What did you see?” you croaked.

“Jughead kissing you and his hand up your shirt.” Archie said matter-of-factly, smugly grinning.

You groaned, covering your face with your hands.

“How long has this been going on?!” Veronica exclaimed.

You looked up at the Lodge girl shyly.

“I don’t know… Six months?” you offered quietly.

“Six months?!” she nearly screeched, a surprised and impressed look making its way onto her face.

“And you didn’t tell me?!”

You and Jughead flinched at her tone.

“Yeah… sorry.” Jughead said as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

Kevin rolled his eyes.

“You better be sorry. I’ve been rooting for you two for three years and the fact that I could’ve found this out six months ago is just…” he trailed off, shaking his head in disapproval.

Betty scoffed.

““Three years?”” the blonde asked. “Try five years.”

“Uh, try seven.” Archie cut in.

Everyone looked at him, eyebrows raised.

“What?” he defended.

Veronica rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she turned back to you and Jughead.

“We’re going to Pop’s where you two… are going to tell us everything,” she said as she made her way over to you, linking your elbows together.

“Now, Y/N…” she began as she started to lead you out of your room. “What’s Jughead like in bed?”

You groaned, face turning beet-red.

“Still don’t care if they find out, Jughead?” you called as Veronica practically dragged you out of your room.

“I need to hear this.” Archie said as he dashed after the two of you leaving Jughead, Betty, and Kevin alone.

Jughead smirked.

“I don’t care at all.” he mumbled under his breath.

Betty and Kevin watched Jughead with wide eyes as he left your room.

“God, they’re so cute.”

“I know, right?!”

—————

A/N: Hope you enjoyed!! :)

Taglist

@lydixstiles @jughead-from-riverdale @pinkhappypanda @iamthegoatmaster @subsi4123 @deanskitten @latenightbooknerd @lostinpercyseyes @captainelsaeverdeen @itsjaynebird @allineedisconnor @superoriginalteenwolf @sastielstan @1amluke @satanwithstardust @babearchie @theselfishllama @katshrev @juggiesjuliet @betty-coopers-number-one-stan @imperfectanatomy @casismyguardianangel @irrajj @fangites @apocalypticangell @sparklingriverdale @jvghead-jones-iii @onceuponagladerhead @isabellaskyliner @vodkaluh @tegan-eva @murderyoursoul @regenpony @xbobaaa @farmfreshcoldsprouts @hellolittlebigstudent @audreyxhorne @faithmichaluk @thebloodyshuckface @castawayalicia @lost-in-wonderland-x @holoqraphik @nadya0128 @soulception @jughead-archie-imagines @juggys-betty @twizzlersnizzler @riverdale–trash @barbarachern @likesiriusly @thatsavagehufflepuff @multi-madison @mrs-fangirl @thatcraxygirl15 @frobert20 @miss-mia-rae @buckyplease @myblackwings5 @thecrossroad-demon @writing-in-riverdale @jghdjns-iii @johnmurphys-sass @killjoyloki @the-local-dreamer-star @stephyra17 @reginaphlanageadams @river-vixns @genderabused @wetsknn

“You’re going to fall one day.”

Member: Mark Lee x Reader
Genre: Little Angst/little Fluff 
Word Count: 1,944 words

Y’all this is my first scenario, I hope you enjoy! It’s a little rushed, sorry about that! Also please tell me if you like it or not, please~

(A/N I just reread this and realized that i have many typos sorry friends;;;)

-TT

Originally posted by haechannie

Another day at school. At least it was Friday, and you didn’t have much to do in most of your classes. You sighed, your dumbass stayed up late again scrolling through your explore page on Instagram.

Keep reading

Poshmark for Cosplayers (a sort-of guide)

I’ve been using Poshmark to buy pieces for some of my cosplays for a while , and since it’s really come through for me, I thought I’d put it on your guys’ radar.

The basics: Poshmark.com is one of the many online secondhand clothing sites out there, but they’ve been around for ages. People use it to clean our their closets, find out-of-stock pieces, and make swaps. It’s like eBay, but just for clothes and shoes, with simpler search perimeters that you can set and save to your custom size. Best of all (for me): you can make offers. There’s no guarantee the seller will take your offer, but I always try to knock off a buck or two if I can.

What it’s good for: Finding screen-accurate pieces that have long since sold out. I was trying to find a pair of boots featured in a single episode of a show like three years ago; no one had them. But some chick in TX trying to make a quick buck was selling a pair. Match made.

Most often, I use Poshmark to find pieces for cosplays I’m loathe to make from scratch. Currently, that means Prompto from FFXV. This nugget. More on that under the cut.

Keep reading

First Impressions (Part 1)

Prompt: Imagine your friend, Anthony Mackie, brings you with him to an event and introduces you to his friend, Sebastian, who’s blown away by you. He immediately starts flirting and acting silly because you make him nervous and he just wants to impress you

Warnings: flirting (adult style), language (always, with me, come on), and drama (later on in the fic)

Notes: If anyone has kids or wives out of the celebrities mentioned, in this universe, they sort of don’t exist….Just for the sake of keeping it concise. Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes (because shes perfectly amazing) and I could NOT, not, just not have done any of this at all without my amazing girl, @amarvelouswritings

Forever Tags: @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise19982sand @missinstantgratification @thejulesworld @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock

Chris Evans Tag (Normally wouldn’t, but he’s featured a lot): @nedthegay @camigt1999  @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Originally posted by ohh-bloodyhell

“Thank you for inviting me,” you said to Anthony as you rode with him in the back of a luxury sedan.

“My pleasure. I know how big of a Marvel fan you are, it’s time I invited you to one of these things.”

“Yes, this is long overdue.”

“You look great tonight. New dress?” he asked.

“Yes, my stylist insisted. I can’t blame her. If I could wear dresses all the time, I would,” you said, laughing lightly.

“Well it looks amazing,” he said, gesturing to your long sleeve, plunging cleavage, cherry red, satin dress.

“Thank you. I hope to turn a few heads,” you noted.

Keep reading

Distractions

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11 || Pt. 12 || Pt. 13

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: You were always there for him. You cheered him on, supported him, but apparently, you were just a distraction.

Word Count: 1548

Originally posted by bwiseoks

“I’m sorry” were the last words you could ever remember him telling you. 

That day you were so fired up with feelings of anticipation and excitement; it was only a few days before your boyfriend was to debut after all. For as long as you could remember, music always had such a strong grasp on Yoongi’s heart. He practically breathed music, hell he probably was made of music itself. 

You had always known about how his parents didn’t take too kindly of his passion for music, but you had always been there for him. You, along with his older brother, were the only support he had until he auditioned for an entertainment company called BigHit. Although he placed second in his audition, he still managed to grab a spot as a trainee. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration if you were to claim that you were beyond ecstatic. You were practically bouncing off the walls when Yoongi had told you that he had made it. 

You both knew what it meant for your relationship when he became a trainee. He had to work hard and spend most of his time moving towards his dream. This meant less time spent with you, but you knew how much this meant to him. You loved him so much that you prepared yourself for the lack of dates, the lack of communication, the lack of affection shown towards one another. You prepared yourself because you wanted him to fulfil his dream, even if it meant putting a strain on your relationship. 

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You spin me right round Fatal right round-

Still working on getting ready for Chapter Three, but I’ve been dying to practice animating because I’ve been getting some ideas so I snuck in some practice. I’m slowlyyyyy getting used to Flash again (the last time I used it was…psshhh 4 years ago?) but I keep using my Photoshop hotkeys and it’s frustrating, haha XD

I made this while on my work computer which has CC 2015 on it, but if I can open this file on my laptop (which has CS5) and I don’t fall asleep immediately after arriving home I might just stream me coloring it and adding glitches and such.

Yoongi Scenario: In A Heartbeat.

Request: I have one idea ! Since a long time, it’s like a dream. You met Yoongi in Korea, had was in love with him. Bcos you don’t want to be an obligation and disturb his life, you leave him. 3 yrs later, you come back with a little boy who look like Yoongi.

Genre: Family / Drama.


Yoongi never thought seeing you after three years could provoke so many emotions in him, but when he saw you sitting in his study he confirmed himself wrong. 

Nobody told him he had visit when he entered the company that afternoon, the guys were in their personal or individual activities so Yoongi decided to spend his time in work, but when he opened the door of the studio he discovered it wasn’t lone like it should had been. You stood up when you saw him and both of you just started at each other for a good while before you could properly react. You with a bow and a soft smile, him with a frown and a bunch of words stuck in his throat.

-What the hell?- were the first ones he could articulate. -Y/N-

You nodded the confirmation Yoongi didn’t need, of course he knew it was you, what he couldn’t understand and the reason why he probably had a confused expression on his face was what were you doing in there, Yoongi hadn’t seen in you in three years, you had gone out of his life without saying goodbye so now he couldn’t understand why you had sneaked into his studio. All the feelings he had for you started to resurface, all the accumulated thoughts over the past three years making him blind with anger and confusion. 

-How you got here?- he asked before anything else although that wasn’t the question he wanted to ask. 

-A friend let me in- you answered. -It was Hoseok- you gave in with a sigh when he glared. -He did it for a good reason though, and I had to talk to him into it, so this is all me-

Yoongi did a mental note to smack Hoseok or something. -Why? What are you doing here?- he asked now, you were here to see him obviously but why, three years ago you had disappeared in thin air not caring about anything, as far as he knew you had left Seoul, or the country, since he couldn’t find you and god knew he tried to.

-You must hate me, I forgot about that- you said with another sigh, it sounded sad and it made Yoongi bite his tongue to not say anything. -But I want you to know that three years ago I left this country for a reason-

-You didn’t leave this country- Yoongi said despite himself. -You left me-

You opened and closed your mouth but then shook your head. -I did, not because I wanted to believe me, I just had to do it-

He snorted. -What? You are going to say someone payed you to go like some kind of cheap drama?- he shook his head, he was getting too angry and you took a step closer. Yoongi couldn’t refrain himself from staring, you were still beautiful, you had always had the ability to catch his eyes not letting him look at nothing else, you could still do that and he found himself inspecting everything, your hair falling behind your shoulders, your body, your eyes. He was angry at you for leaving and he was angry at himself for still feeling his chest thunder over the sight of you. Yoongi felt like an idiot for feeling like he did, after three years it should have been more than over, but you appeared out of nowhere and he was already a mess of emotions.

-No, I’m not saying that and don’t be sarcastic with me please, you know I hate it…- you shook your head. -I didn’t come here to fight Yoongi, I came here because I… because I needed to see you and because you need to meet someone-

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