i made this a really long time ago but whatevs i still like it

Life/Time/Love

“Here is fine,” Rick said when he saw the exit. The sky was getting darker, and Rick didn’t want them to risk it on the road. He thought it’d be best if they set up camp off in the woods out of sight from all threats. Michonne parked the vehicle and unbuckled her seat belt.

“Here will have to do,” she said rolling her head around slowly. It had been a long day. Seemed like they search for hours for nothing. A few bullets here…a few cans of food there. Some supplies here and there. The search looked bleak, but they weren’t giving up. They couldn’t.

Rick looked outside the window and pointed just to his right. “We can build a fire real quick. Heat up some of those cans of food we found,” he suggested. Michonne sat up and rested her gloved hands on her thighs.

“Sounds like a plan,” she stood, bending over to walk to the back of the van. A clear, plastic container sat behind the driver’s seat with a bunch of canned string beans and pork-n-beans.

“You know…I wish I could eat something that I don’t feed Judith all the time. I feel like I’m the baby,” she playfully complained and Rick opened his door, hoping out the van. Seconds later he opened the side doors for Michonne.

“What’s that I always say…The Law of-”

“Yeah, yeah…the law of averages. I know,” she mocked. “There’s just going to be a big room filled with food that we’ll find one day.” She smirked as Rick helped her get out of the van. Michonne sat the cans down on the ground, and started to collect wood for a small fire.

The weather was nice today. A breeze blew by across her bare arms that she appreciated. Sometimes….just sometimes, there were moments of normalcy out here. Her body would remember to right before the world fell apart, and it was like she was back in Georgia on her grandma’s porch listening to music…dancing…enjoying life. It was funny how a single breeze could do that.

“You miss Georgia?” she asked him. Rick smiled and nodded, beads of sweat coating his forehead.

“It’s funny… with the world the way it is, but I can honestly say I’m homesick. I never traveled before all of this. I never left the county. Maybe just to go to Atlanta a few times. That’s about it. The air don’t smell that great outside with all the decay, but it don’t smell like Georgia. That sound weird?” he asked as they dropped the wood they gathered it into a pile.

Michonne smiled, shaking her head. “Nope. It sounds pretty much like how I feel. Except, I used to travel all the time,” she told him. Rick’s eyebrows raised.

“Oh, really. Where have you been?” he wondered. She grabbed a box of matches and struck one, placing it against the wood.

“Florida…New York…California…Vegas…I traveled a lot for work. Met a lot of cool people along the way,” Michonne explained to Rick.

“I’ve met some cool people along the way, too,” Rick told Michonne. He thought of Glenn just now. He thought about his friend often, but he kept that to himself. Everyone was dealing with their pain their own way right now. He’d have to figure a way to deal with his.

Michonne noticed a sadness to his voice. Since that night in the woods; the night it all happened; the night they lost family, he’d been different. Just this shell of himself. Lately, he started to smile. He started to not let every little threat from Negan get to him, but she noticed things.

Michonne learned not to press the small stuff with Rick. He questioned himself all the time, so she couldn’t question him. As a lawyer she learned that sometimes the people who have nothing to say, have the most to say. Rick was that way. He had so much to tell her, but he tread lightly with his stories.

So she resigned herself to wait. Michonne would wait for him to tell her what’s wrong when he was ready, and comfort him when he sought it. He talked about Shane recently. He would talk about whatever was bothering him soon, because she was with him no matter what.

No matter what.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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My Way - Chapter 01

Description: Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, some underlying angst

Word Count: 9,324

Warnings: Fuckboy!Jungkook, Dom!Jungkook, infidelity, rough sex, thigh riding, very light breath play, gratuitous and shamelessly self-indulgent bragging via sext

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First Kisses

Their first kiss wasn’t spectacular. No one stood in the background, waiting to light off fireworks while hordes of people cheered and applauded. There was no performance at all, really.

The fact of the matter is that their first kiss was on a Tuesday night, and Draco was making Harry stay up with him to study for a Defense Against the Dark Arts exam they had the next morning. They were the only ones in the common room. But Harry looked at the clock and realized it wasn’t Tuesday night anymore, it was actually Wednesday morning, and somehow during their studying they’d slumped over onto each other, eyelids weighed down with sleep. The fire had all but burned out, the glowing coals casting a dim orange light across the two boys on the overstuffed sofa…

It wasn’t spectacular. They just sort of… fell together, I suppose, melting into each other, and Harry wasn’t sure where his mouth ended and Draco’s began anymore. He kept falling. Harry hoped he’d never hit the ground.


Their first kiss was in the rain after Harry and Draco were both shit-faced drunk, stumbling out of the bar while still swaying in time to the pumping music inside. Harry’s glasses were askew, and his cheeks were flushed, and god, his pupils were so dilated… Draco had intended on mapping out every corner of Harry’s face so he could remember it later when he went home alone like usual, but when he straightened Harry’s glasses for him, his hands lingered against his cheeks, thumbs tracing Harry’s lips. Their foreheads pressed together. He could feel Harry’s breath against his mouth and when he finally closed the remaining space between them, Harry’s wand shot out sparks and singed Draco’s coat. If you weren’t looking closely as you walked past them in the dark, you’d think it was one cloaked figure, standing very still outside the crowded bar.

Draco didn’t go home alone ever again after that night.


Their first kiss was in the eighth-year common room, surrounded by friends who had all had far too much firewhiskey to drink. It was Harry’s turn, and his face was already beet red. He wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or from what was about to happen, but he wasn’t sure that mattered right now. He spun the bottle as hard as it would go. Sweat was beading on his forehead, and the bottle just kept going… There was no way there wasn’t magic involved in how long it took it to stop spinning. Maybe he was so drunk, it had stopped spinning hours ago and he just hadn’t noticed.

The room went silent.

Harry was particularly aware of the fact that there was a floor beneath him, and something else underneath, and he felt entirely too heavy to hold up. He looked at who the bottle pointed towards and wished the floorboards would give way to send him plummeting into whatever room was beneath them.

And Ron was assuring him that no, if he really didn’t want to, he didn’t have to do it, but Pansy started chanting “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” and made everyone else join in. Hell, even Hermione was pumping her fists and chanting, and all of the blood in Harry’s body rushed to his head. He was most definitely a deep shade of scarlet now.

He looked up from his lap, though, and inches in front of him was the one person he never thought he’d touch in a way that wasn’t with malintent, and his eyes were already closed.

Draco tasted like peppermint and booze. The first time, at least.


Their first kiss was full of fire and anger and sweat, and they were seventeen. There was no one left in the showers after Slytherin lost another Quidditch match to Gryffindor, and Draco was convinced Harry had cheated. He’d almost had the snitch. He could have beat him for the first time in his life. Draco punched first, hitting the hard brick wall and bloodying his knuckles when Harry ducked out of the way. Harry’s face was covered in dirt and neither of them had much in the way of a hairstyle after playing out in a rainstorm for several hours. But Draco couldn’t think about Harry’s unkempt hair or muddy face right now, because somehow Harry had pinned him up against the wall, breathing hard and muttering something about how Draco should think very hard about what he did next…

Harry had hickeys landscaped across his chest for days.


Their first kiss was confusing for both of them. Of course Snape had paired them together for potions again, and Harry was prepared to sit back and let Draco do all the work again, but they were being watched so Draco thrust into Harry’s arms some things to chop up that had nothing to do with what they were brewing. Harry was getting a Dreadful in this class and he wasn’t sure how he was going to finish school if he flunked out.

“I’ll help you,” Draco mumbled, and Harry became aware that he had somehow managed to say all of this out loud.

“You’ll what?” asked Harry, dumbfounded.

“I said I’ll help you, you git,” Draco sneered, “McGonagall wants me to do something for the less fortunate because it might help me get a job when we get out of here.”

So Harry agreed, and for two hours on Saturday nights Harry and Draco had a scheduled slot of time to argue study. They’d never spent time alone together though, at least not for this long, and Harry began to notice little things about Draco. Like how when Draco was thinking hard about something, he flossed his hands through his hair, pulling it all off of his forehead and accentuating his widow’s peak. He looked like a blond vampire like that. It was a good look on him.

“What did you just say?” questioned Draco, one eyebrow raised. Harry had thought out loud again. Shit. He tried to think of something to cover up what he’d just said, but it was all out in the open now. He couldn’t backtrack on something like that. Draco looked beyond pleased with himself, and Harry felt his jaw clench. That git.

God, Draco got under his skin, but here, in the empty potions classroom, alone, he looked…

God.

He got under his skin so much that skin was all Harry could think about now. Draco’s skin. It was softer than he’d ever imagined. And his lips were another story.


And that’s what I love about fanfiction. The fact that we can write into existence hundreds of first kiss, each one unique in it’s own way, but each one dripping with more magic than anything you can cast with your wand. Each one the jumping off point for an infinite universe of stories, love, heartbreak, and laughter. So here’s to beginnings. Here’s to more first kisses.


Thank you @parkkate for reminding me of the post I made a few months ago that fell along this line! I figured I’d have at it once again like I did with the other post I made yesterday since I don’t really remember anything I wrote last time! 

Missing Link

Missing Link (m)

Word count: 6.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, talk of masterbation and language

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?


“Yoongi~”

“Yes, Y/N?” Yoongi said as he watched tv, happy to be home after a long day with you. 


“Will you please go with me tonight? I don’t want to go by myself.”

Yoongi sighed on the couch next to you. “Y/N, i’m too old to be going to these college parties.”

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latimes.com
'When you’re black you have to fight': Tinashe, Kehlani and other female R&B artists struggle for attention
Only three black women have topped the charts in the past 10 years. Here's why.
By Gerrick D. Kennedy

Three years ago, all the signs pointed one way: Tinashe was on her way to pop stardom.

In 2012, when she was just 19, she produced two critically acclaimed mixtapes that landed her a deal at RCA. A year later her debut single, “2 On,” made it to No. 24 on Billboard’s Hot 100. Her 2014 debut album, “Aquarius,” was met with critical acclaim and she was nominated for a BET Award.

Since then, the singer-songwriter has toured with Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry, collaborated with Britney Spears, earned praise from idol Janet Jackson and issued two buzzy projects, including last year’s digital-only work “Nightride.”

Yet Tinashe’s career has hit an impasse.

Nearly two years after it was announced to much hype, RCA has yet to release her long-gestating sophomore album, “Joyride.” As a string of genre-hopping singles and collaborations with artists like Spears, Chris Brown and Young Thug failed to produce a major hit, “Joyride” and her young career have stalled.

Attempting a restart, she has learned many things: that pop hits speak louder than reviews, only crossover stars make real money and being a black female performer comes with inherent challenges.

“Critical acclaim hasn’t been enough in my experience,” said the 24-year-old, who was born Tinashe Kachingwe. “The label appreciates it, but the music business, in my perspective, is still so much based on revenue and how much they are making in sales. That’s where it gets really [crappy].”

“You just want to make art for the sake of art,” she continued, “and not have people [care] about a number, first-week sales or things like that.”

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THE NINE TIMES STEVE GAVE YOU A FUNNY LOOK

Originally posted by themarvelnerd

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader (Platonic), Avengers x Reader (platonic)

Warning(s): the kinda language Steve would smh at

World Count: 3827

Author’s Note: I got so into this it’s not even funny. After like, two years of not doing anything on tumblr, it isn’t surprising that i write a Steve oneshot for the first time since. But on that note, I don’t only do Steve works, please feel free to request other characters and/or fandoms: masterlist - prompt list.

Preference ★ Imagine ★ One Shot ★ Drabble




[Y/N] [Y/L/N] was an asshole.
You were an asshole.
You are an asshole.

You were slightly narcissistic with an ego as big as the tower, you were very beautiful, and the last person on earth to ever be considered shy.

That made you and Tony Stark best of pals (most of the time), and you and Steve as foes (all the time). He wasn’t rude or a jerk or at all hostile, Steve was just always on edge with you. He didn’t know whether or not your jokes were jokes (you always reverted back to slitting your enemy’s throats – Steve being a righteous guy and all, he wasn’t all that optimistic with that choice), or if you really were here to save people and not for the money the government and Tony Stark paid you — eh, what can you say, it’s very, very good money.

Humble was also not on your list of qualities.

Bold red lips, a wide grin to showcase your pearly white teeth, and heart shaped sunglasses. That was you in your room as you blasted out music at exactly 2100 hours.

You and Steve shared a floor in the Avengers tower.

Why? It was a decision that was absolutely not your choice, but you had no problem with it. Fucking with Steve was fun.

See, Tony had a whole floor to himself, same as Bruce and Vision. Nat and Clint were right below them (Clint usually at his place with Laura, though), Sam and Scott also had their own floor, Wanda and Pietro, then last but not least, Thor either in Asgard or London with Jane – which then pretty much left you and Steve together. Peter kind of lived here during the day then and back at his apartment with May during the evenings. He was a total pest.

A knock went by unnoticed by you. But an upset looking Steve did. He stalked into your (much larger) room and paused your music. He turned and gave you a look.

You raised your brow as you paused your late night dancing. You pushed your sunglasses further down your nose to peak up at the Captain. “Captain.” You greeted, nodding your head towards the brooding soldier once. “May I help you?“ You raised your perfectly sculpted brow in questioning.

Steve took a deep breath and crossed his (also very large) arms. “Your music was too loud and I’m trying to sleep. Can’t you at least keep it down?”

You snorted. “It’s barely nine o'clock, grandpa.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m not a grandpa.” He grumbled with an offended frown. “Just turn it down, will you?”

You smirked and pushed your glasses back up. “Oh, I’m sorry, have I spangled your stars, grandpa?”

With a final narrowed stare, Steve twisted his Dorito-body around and stalked back to his room.

You chuckled and resumed to your midnight dancing with wine.

That was the first time you got on his nerves. It was also the first time you were on the receiving end of his very famous looks.




The second time you received a stupid look was during a mission - in the middle of combat, mind you. This stupid robot who called himself Ultron was trying to ruin everything, and apparently, it was up to you and the rest of the Avengers to stop him – or it. It’s not that you wanted to. it was kind of what Tony Stark paid you to do. And like hell would you pass up Tony Stark’s pay checks.

Steve trusted you now, at least. You only saved his ass, like, a hundred (three) times after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell and he found out his best friend from seventy years ago was still alive. A wild ride, that year was.

Anyway, you and the team were in Sokovia fighting robots.


ROBOTS.


Fuck this shit, if the money wasn’t so good you’d drop your signature double pistols and walk the opposite direction. But one, your pistols were very delicate (silver with diamonds), and you were asked very nicely to stay by Bruce - and you could never say no to Bruce.

In hindsight, the view wasn’t so bad and I guess – I guess – that saving people felt a little good (don’t tell anybody). Sokovia was so far high into the sky that you could have sworn that you could see angels flying around in the distance – some helpful angels, huh.

The sky was beautiful, though. And so was Captain America’s ass.

You beamed at the sight and turned to Steve. “Hey, Cap?” You called out, shooting a robot.

Steve grunted in acknowledgement as he kicked another robot and decapitated it with his shield. “What?” He gave you a glance that barely lasted a second.

You shot another robot. Then another. Then another. Then you turned to him. “Nice ass.”

That was look number two.




"Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

"Yes, Ms [Y/L/N]?”

"What’s your faculty on nicknames?”

"Activated by Mr Stark, Ms.”

"Huh … so, like, what are you allowed to call me?”

"Whatever you ask, Ms [Y/L/N].”

“Right, right … how about Supreme Leader [Y/L/N]?”

"Activated,  Supreme Leader [Y/L/N].”

"Huh … thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

"Of course, Supreme Leader [Y/L/N].”


Of course, that didn’t go unnoticed for long. You were eating dinner with the team – something that didn’t happen often – and Steve took this time to lecture the team about a mission in a few days time. Three days, to be exact. It was located in Paris, and you were all to attend a gala crawling with HYDRA agents, mercenaries, psycho bitches, and anything else in between.

“ – so we’ll go over the plans again after dinner – ”

You groaned loudly and threw your head back. You dropped your knife loudly causing a clink made by the knife and plate. “Rogers!” You whined, “We went over this yesterday! And this morning at breakfast! And two seconds ago while I tried to enjoy my dinner in peace, fighting the urge to grab this fork and shove it through my eye – ” you ignore his wince, “and now again tomorrow?! If you even bring this stupid mission up again, I will resign.” You threatened. “Resign, you hear me. R. E. S. I. G. N.” Drama Queen is also in your list of qualities. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. tell him.” 

Natasha rolled her eyes, Sam cleared his throat, Steve still had his wince and sullen/guilty face, Clint looked bored as he played with his peas, Thor looked confused, Pietro look amused, Wanda was too busy chatting up Vision, Scott was – where was Scott? Tony had a smirk, and poor Bruce just didn’t know where to look. Peter just chewed his chicken in anticipation, looking back and forth between you and Steve for a reaction.

F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice rang out soon enough. “Of course, Supreme Leader [Y/L/N].” Then the AI began repeating your every word.

Natasha’s brow shot up. “Supreme Leader? Really?”

“ – And this morning at breakfast. And – ”

You shrugged your shoulders.

“ – seconds ago while I tried to enjoy my dinn – ”

Steve groaned. “That’s enough, F.R.I.D.A.Y., please stop.”

“Yes, Captain.”

You rolled your eyes. “Traitorous bitch.” You mumbled.

Cue look number three.




The fourth time you received a look was when Steve was fixing a lightbulb and he suddenly found himself on the floor. He did know you guys hired people for that kind of work, right?

Anyway, you and Pietro - bored as hell and without anything to do - you both decided to race from the ground floor of the Avengers tower, to the very top – on foot – using the staircases.

And the silver asshole was absolutely not allowed to use his powers. If he did, you had every right to shoot him in the shoulder with your trusty diamond pistols and he would have to take it like a man. He promised so, himself. “Scouts Honour.” Pietro said, saluting you.

To which Wanda replied with a snort and, “What Scouts Honour?”

You were enhanced, yes, but you were tired. Not too much, just enough not to be tired after running twenty-six flights of stairs. You and Pietro both slammed into Steve’s ladder as he fixed a lightbulb.

You didn’t even bother looking back.

You could not lose this bet.

The entire time you ran, you repeated the same thing in your head over, and over again. Run, Forrest, Run! Whatever - If Pietro won, you had to massage him whenever he felt like it for an entire month. If you won, well, he had to give you a piggy back ride whenever you felt like it. Also for a month.

Steve was really upset after that. He wouldn’t look at you for a week, and when he finally did, he gave you a long lecture about racing inside the tower. “Blah, blah, blah, someone could get seriously hurt, blah, blah, blah, if I see you two race again, blah, blah, blah.”

You leant over towards Pietro who sat beside you. He was also slouched on his chair, eyes looking at the ceiling in boredom. “Are you also feeling the urge to shove your foot up his ass?”

That was look number four.




Look number five + look number six was kind of your fault.

Steve had arrived after being gone for months. He, along with Sam, had been off around the world searching high and low for James Buchanan Barnes. You wanted to go, you really did. Despite your love for annoying the living shit out of Steve, you still cared about him more than you let on. That was not your fault. How? Well, you know the whole shebang: 

Tragic back story: check. Trust issues: check. Daddy issues: check. Issues with not being able to express how you feel without wanting to physically vomit: check.

However, it was in your job description to be able to read people. You were an intelligent person. You knew a lot, you sensed a lot, you observed a lot. You just didn’t show it a lot. And without saying anything, you knew how people felt and most importantly, what they needed.

And Steve just needed his own space – Sam excluded. You were actually kind of jealous of Sam (tell anyone, and you won’t live until the next day). Sam was kind of Steve’s boyfriend (along with dear old Buck-a-roo and Tony).

So while he was gone, you kept your distance. Steve didn’t need any more on his plate, let alone more of your shit. Whenever he called the team for a report or to simply catch up, you never said anything. You had told the crew to just inform him that you were on a mission, in the gym, or off gallivanting somewhere - anywhere, really.

Steve really cared about you though, you knew that. Every time he called he’d see if you were there. And you were. You were there, right behind the monitor that projected him along with the the camera that projected the team from your end. Your face would be resting on your hand, your elbow propped the table. You actually smiled whenever he asked about you. It was cute.

Anyway, you kind of deserved look number five.

Steve had finally arrived with Bucky by his side. Sam had already said his hellos and received his welcome-home handshakes and hugs. Steve stayed behind the Quinjet for a few short minutes before hopping off and finally introducing the famous James Barnes. 

But you didn’t know that.

And neither did Scott.

You two weren’t racing – nope. You were simply just running to get to the last slice of cake in the main kitchen. In both your defence, it was the last slice of the cake Pepper brought home from Paris. Paris. You loved Paris. And apparently, Scott did, too. If that wasn’t worth running for, what the hell was?

You distinctly remember Pepper saying that it was from Paris, and that it was the best cake she’d ever tasted.

So, without looking, you barged through the team yelling bloody murder. Scott was a little behind seen as though you’d throw whatever the hell you could at him. That last slice was yours, and ramming, pushing, throwing off the building, and threatening whoever you needed to just to that slice, you would sure as hell do it.

You felt your hip slam into a corner of a table: ignored. You tripped over a step: ignored. You felt your shoulder ram into a very strong and metal-like object: ignored. You saw a couch: ignored + jumped over.

But alas, you held in your hand … the slice.

A grin erupted on your face. Poor Scoot looked crestfallen.

“Sorry, Lang. This one’s mine.” You grinned.

A clearing of the throat made you jump. What the hell did they want? 

When you looked up, you saw the entire team + Steve + The Winter Soldier.


Well, shit.


“Oh.” You trailed off. You gave Steve a sheepish smile. “Hi, Steve, good to see you again. Did I tell you I missed you? Because I did.”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop running in the tower?” Steve stared into your [Y/E/C] eyes with his blue ones.

“No. You told said to stop racing.”

Steve didn’t reply. Instead he gave you look number five.

You chuckled nervously and stalked towards them. “Sorry.” You looked to Sam and gave him a large hug despite already giving him one earlier. Your right hand still refused to let go of the platter of cake. Then you looked towards James Buchanan Barnes.

Steve cleared his throat. “Buck, meet [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. [Y/N] [Y/L/N], meet Bucky.”

Neither of you did anything. Just kinda stared at each other in thought. He tried to read you while you tried to read him.

He was lonely.

Okay, you thought. So you reached your right hand up and gestured him to take your plate. “Here you go. Nice to meet ‘cha.” 

Steve gave you another look, only, this one was different. It looked funnier – more odd and curious. A look that you had never seen before. That was look number six.

And this time, you didn’t see anyone’s reactions. You just stared at James Buchanan Barnes, while he stared at you, to the cake, then back to you again. 

Thus, a beautiful friendship was born.




Few months later,
Look number seven.


You found yourself in this position a lot, it seems. It would be two in the morning, your head in your hands and your ears perked up.

As an agent, you were trained this way. Your mind had its own mind. Every morning at exactly one o'clock your eyes would flutter open, and without a single thought, your body would move almost mechanically. You’d get up, wash your face, then throw a hoodie over your head. Afterwards, you’d find yourself sitting on the edge of you bed, head in your hands, and your ears waiting for Bucky.

After sleeping in the same floor as Steve and Bucky, Bucky’s room was right across yours. Both your doors were so close you could stand in the hall way, spread your arms, and you’d be able to touch both your door knobs.

Insomnia was something you had as a child. It came very naturally. So, as a cure, you’d take sleeping vitamins – not pills. Though it would help you fall asleep, it was up to you to keep yourself asleep. Five hours was your maximum. If your sleep was disturbed, that’s when you would wake up every day from then on unless you trained yourself otherwise all over again. That could take days, or even weeks going up to months.

So every day, it was up to you. You didn’t want Steve waking up and losing precious sleeping hours. So instead of training yourself to sleep for five hours all over again, you allowed yourself two hours of rest every night. From then on, you’d stay awake and listen for Bucky’s screams.

Then you’d find your feet silently landing on the floor and rushing towards Bucky’s room.


Here are your steps:

  1. Lightly press a pillow on Bucky’s metal arm and cover it.
  2. Sit on his arm to keep him from attacking you.
  3. Softly say his name as many times as it takes for him to wake up.
  4. Press your body harder onto his as he thrashes around.
  5. Then hug the hell out of him and cradle his head when he wakes and begins to weep.


This would have been the one hundredth time you’ve done this. Even now, you could still remember the fourth time you had done this. You had accidentally left Bucky’s door ajar.

You were observant and smart. 

You knew Steve was there.

You guessed you just took a little longer that time to wake Buck up.

You definitely saw Steve’s look then. And again, this look was kind of different. It was a funny look that you had no idea how to read.

The fact that this look was so different, to say it irritated the hell out of you was an understatement. Out of the both of you, it was meant to be you that got under his skin.

You hated feeling this way.




Nowadays, you’ve been more confused than in control.

Back then, you saw Steve, you’d feel the urge to irritate the hell out of him. But now, you’d see Steve, and suddenly, you’d feel a funny feeling in your stomach.

So, naturally, you absolutely despised him for it. Tonight – or morning – when Bucky woke up, he didn’t cry. He just asked if you were hungry. And, naturally, you had said yes. You were always hungry.

Soft music was playing. You didn’t want to wake up Steve, after all. So you stood in the kitchen of your floor and began making pop tarts. Bucky was sitting by the kitchen island while you decided to cheer him up. While the pop tarts were cooking up, you decided to change the music to pop. Then you began dancing.

You were not a dancer. Add that to your list of non-existent qualities.

You sort of just threw your hands in the air and hoped for natural rhythm to save your dignity. 

Bucky looked somewhat amused, so that was the goal accomplished.

It all came to an end when Steve cleared his throat. He stared at Bucky in a way that made all of you uncomfortable. Bucky was going to be just fine, that’s what you thought, anyway. Steve thought otherwise. Steve treated him like a broken vase.

That’s how you and Bucky got so close. 

You refused to look or listen to any of Steve’s old war stories about Buck. Thus, why you called Bucky “James”.

He wasn’t the Bucky he was in the 40’s. And he wasn’t The Winter Soldier, either. He was someone else.

Steve’s eyes bounced from you, to Bucky, then from Bucky, to you. “[Y/N], maybe now isn’t the time to – ”

“No, Steve,” Steve’s eyes snapped towards Bucky, “it’s fine.” Bucky said quietly. “She’s actually making me happy here.” 

After that, nobody talked to a while. Bucky stood from his stool and began to walk off. 

You stepped towards him, “James - ”

He shook his head. “It’s alright [Y/N], trust me. I’ll be fine tonight. I’m gonna try and go back to sleep.”

Well, that was new.

You gave Bucky a funny look but nodded. “Okay. Call if you need me.”

Bucky didn’t say anything after that. He just walked back to his room.

Your pop tarts popped out from the toaster. After that it was left untouched.

Steve cleared his throat. “[Y/N] – ” 

You shook your head. “Nope.”

Steve’s forehead frowned. “What?”

“Do you want Bucky to get over what HYDRA did to him?” You asked. You didn’t wait for him to reply. “Well, too bad so sad, he isn’t going to get over it. Bucky needs to accept it. Then he needs to be angry. Then he needs to be sad. Then after all that, he needs to forgive himself.” You said, your hands on your waist. “And you making him feel like broken glass isn’t gonna help. It’ll confine him and make him feel crazy. Treat him like a normal person, you jackass. Let him feel like a man. Not a baby.” You took a deep breath and pulled your eyes away from his piercing blue ones. You looked at your pop tarts briefly before turning around and walking away.

And you didn’t miss his look when you did. Steve had already realised he was wrong the moment his eyes fell on the toaster.

You left your pop tarts.




Look number nine:

Again, it was in the kitchen. Bucky’s nightmares were slowly fading. Whenever he woke, you’d stay until he fell back asleep. Then you’d proceed to the kitchen and rummage for food.

“Hey, Supreme Leader.” Your head snapped towards the kitchen entrance.

You gave a nod to the blond man in acknowledgement. “Captain.” You said in a mocking soldier’s tone.

You both stood in silence for a while. You didn’t mind it for a while. Your arms were preoccupied with balancing cartons and containers of food as you boldly chewed on your Lucky Charms cereal – and then the silence just got too long. Steve stared at you with a funny look. Eh, eating cereal without milk at three in the morning wasn’t all that unusual – but for some reason, you had a really big feeling the look wasn’t about the cereal. That was actually the reason why Tony always complained about all the marshmallow gone in the morning. Not your fault. Marshmallows were the best part and everyone knew that.

You squinted your eyes as you watched him watch you. A silent growl of impatience rose to your throat. You couldn’t really speak so you opted with growling.

Still no reply.

Finally, you forcefully swallowed your marshmallow and pointed an accusing finger at Steve. His look was different again. It wasn’t annoyed or of frustration. Really it just frustrated you.

You huffed. “You’re looking at me funny.”

Steve just smiled softly. “Bucky loves you.” He said from his position by the entrance of the kitchen.

You just smirked and shoved another handful of marshmallows into your mouth. “Figured that one out a long time ago, Rogers.” Your hand reached into the box once again. “What can I say, I’m good at making friends.” 

Steve chuckled silently. Then he swallowed and looked directly into your eyes. “I love you. And not the way Bucky does.”

You swallowed. The you nodded slowly. Your heart felt so full, you had no idea what to say. And so you said the first thing that popped into your head. You said what you would say, and not stupid Nicholas Sparks movies.

“I know.” You grinned. “And I may or may not feel the same.” Before he could reply, your smile wiped off as you pointed your finger at him again accusingly, “I said maybe.”

It Ain’t Me: Part 6

Jungkook x reader ft. Yoongi

Request: Can you make a fake text about how bf hears a rumor about y/n and decides to break up without even knowing the true facts

*This series did not have a name until this part so don’t get confused!*

Genre: Angst 

Words: 1.4K 

Part 5 | Part 7


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Skyline {II}

Originally posted by over-et

Warnings: Language

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Guys!!! I’m seriously blown away at all the commotion and excitement around Skyline.  In the two days that I’ve posted it, I’ve had to turn off my notifications just because they were blowing up!! Thank you so much for all that you’ve done and, hopefully, will continue to do…as there will be a Skyline pt. 3 and possibly pt. 4!!  One quick thing I’d like to mention, however, is that I’ve gotten a lot of requests to tag people in my writing.  While I’m honoured that you guys want to know as soon as possible when I update, I’ve had so many people request to be on a tags list that I’ve just decided not to do one.  I don’t ever want to leave someone out or forget about someone, so I thought it’d be best to not have one at all.  I really hope this doesn’t affect you guys too much, but if you follow me, I usually give pretty regular updates on what’s going to be coming soon.  And, with that out of the way, I hope you enjoy!!

{part I}

It had taken a few weeks, but life after your meeting with Spider-Man had finally returned to normal. The groups of people hanging around your locker had broken up, the teachers stopped questioning you in front of class, and only three people asked if you had Spider-Man’s number when they wrote in your yearbook.  Despite the attention you had received, however, your school year had come to an uneventful close.  And although you were grateful the interrogations had stopped, you were less than overjoyed about the dullness your days had once again become coloured with.

Your time was filled with events in which variety was far and few.  You woke up at the same time, ate the same breakfast, took care of the same two year old next door, visited your same friends, and tried not to notice the slow ticking of the clock on the wall.  It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy the time with your friends, or your favourite toddler; it was just that you felt…different.  Different in a way that you couldn’t explain, or even put into words.  Just different.

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The Wake of War

[AO3]

So.” Stiles drops back against the side of the Jeep, elbows braced and spine sinking slow against the dusty blue metal. Derek’s hovering a few feet away, at the edge of the lot, not quite ready to vanish into the night but not prepared to join with the rest of the group, either.

He needs their voices, maybe, to block out the ones in his head.

“Looks like I saved your ass again,” Stiles is saying, flashing him a crooked grin. He looks warm and bright like the rest of them, a glow of victory dancing around him that can’t quite seep into Derek’s bones. “What’s the count, now? ‘Cause I think I’m getting pretty close to earning a victory ride in that sweet new Camaro.”

Derek’s lips twitch, a snort slipping out.

“I seem to recall saving you last time.”

“Hey, we’ve been through this. At best, that was a tie.” Stiles looks so smug Derek can’t bring himself to argue, and maybe that’s the reason Stiles’ grin falls. His eyes go soft, flitting over Derek’s frame.

“I’m glad you’re ok, man. …I mean, as nice as it would have been to have my very own, hot guy lawn ornament––”

“Why did I look at her?”

He doesn’t mean to say it; flinches at his own words. His hands are too-tight fists he stretches straight with an effort, and when he looks at Stiles again the bright expression’s gone, replaced by tension and an edge of a grimace he’s trying to fight down.

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self-control (part 1) - steve harrington

Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Angst, some light cursing.

Summary: You’re in charge of homecoming but you don’t have a date.

A/N: OK, honestly I’m so proud of this you guys. It was like ten pages on a google docs. I hope you like it. I know a lot of people want a part 2 to twist of fate, and that will most likely happen pretty soon! But I want to do this as a series as well so we’ll see. Anyway, hope you all like it. I love the feedback, by the way, so tell me what you think!

Gif is not mine, belongs to the owner.

Originally posted by nwetss

The sound of the phone ringing woke you up. Startled, you ran a hand through your hair and looked around before registering where you were. Home. In bed. Things were normal again, right?

Wrong. It was two a.m and the phone was ringing. Why did your parents agree to get you your own line? You quickly flicked on your bedside lamp and then picked up the receiver. “Hello?” You mumbled barely coherently, slowly sitting up in bed.

“Y/N?” It was Steve. You could tell by the way he pronounced your name. Just slightly different than everyone else did. Like it had more meaning coming from his mouth.

You let out a long yawn. “Yeah, Steve. It’s me. What’s going on? Why are you calling me at-“ you glanced over at the clock on your night stand. “Two thirteen in the morning?”

“I haven’t been able to sleep at all,” he said, and you could hear the tiredness in his voice, all groggy and deeper than usual. “Let me apologize. Let me make it up to you. I fucked up, okay-“

“Fucked up is putting it lightly,” you cut him off, your words sharp like daggers. “I don’t want to talk to you about it. Especially not now.”

Steve sighed on the other line. You could almost picture him running a hand through his hair. You hated that you knew him that well. “Go to sleep, Harrington,” You said, and didn’t wait for a response before hanging up the phone.

You tried to go back to sleep but your mind kept drifting back to a few days ago, when everything starting going to shit.

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It Wasn’t Real (finale)

Summary: You’re part of the infamous Loser’s Club, and often asked, what are you afraid of? You reply, nothing, but what your friends don’t know is that your biggest fear is them.

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten -eleven - finale

A/N: THIS IS IT, THE FINAL PART! FINALEEEEEEEEE

I just wanna say like thank you all so much for the wonderful support on this story, i’m seriously gonna miss writing it SO MUCH! It’s crazy to believe i’m already done, but I mean, I did upload like everyday lol. Anyway, thank you all again so much.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

Pairing: Richie x Reader, and Loser’s Club x Reader, also slight Stan x Reader

Warnings: force, bullying, depressing and sad tones.

Tag’s List: @chalatea - @darlingimafangirl - @chalatea - @myfriendmagislit -@frozenhealswrites - @fl0werb0nes18 - @emotionallyenterprised - @alec-lighwccd - @bellasett - @starshininginthedark - @tastefulcaring - @impulsivesuperrobin - @newtandthediamonds - @huge-waste-of-time​ - @jess-sxcks​ - @theoraekensnotsosecretlover​ - @moonageharry​ - @nieligator​ - @sufferingstilinski​ - @the-fantastic-fandom-dork - @horsiesandstuff​ - @arianamichelle04​ - @alloffmyships​ - @darlingimawriter​ - @gcnnyweasleys​ - @redvelvet-cupcake​ - @almusanzug​ - @d0nt-g0-imagines​ - @brighter-thanthe-sky​ - @murphamy-minefeild​ - @celestesfairy​ - @fly-like-a-grayson​ - @emrysaaryn - @holy-minseok - @antiherojason - @multifandom-states - @mysticsthinking - @ladyfairenvale - @crazyinlovewithbatman - @shaniacboogara - @welcometoourcomputershow - @17marvelousfreak - @funtik2011 - @anon-leaning-against-a-trashbin - @terrashrone - @im-fandom-trash - @mrgrytyrll - @ponyboys-sunsets - @captainslugcat - @eachandeveryfandom - @queenylime - @catwoman2502 - @1enchantedfantasy1 - @downtherabbithole66
bolded is who I couldn’t tag.


Originally posted by jayqueenofhell

“It’s coming back now.” Stan explained, nodding at his friends who surrounded him. The group was silent, standing around Stan, battered by what had just happened in the sewers but happy that it was over and their friend was standing before them alive. “Only bits and pieces, but I remember IT just suddenly being there and that’s it. Then I woke up with you guys around.”

Silence echoed Stan’s words, as he slowly let his eyes move around the people surrounding him; hesitant to ask what was on his mind. “What happened?” It was obvious what had happened. IT had come back, just like you’d tried to tell him but Stan had been too stupid, too in-denial to listen, that’s how he found himself here. But, it was almost like there was more; like the day and a bit he’d been gone more had happened then he could ever imagine.

“Y/N t-told us about how IT had taken you.” Bill finally answered, his eyes landing on you for a split second before gazing back at Stan. “She said s-she found the words “W-WHERE’S STAN?” written on h-her ceiling in blood. A-After that, w-we came here to find you.”

As Bill explained, Stan’s eyes fell on you as you looked to the ground. The last time you’d spoken, he’d left you just standing there after practically begging for help. No part of you was mad, but you could tell he felt guilty, just by his gaze. And it didn’t help that he’d bee wrong, that’d just been proven after what’d happened.

“And um- Henry’s dead.” It wasn’t needed, but you felt like you had to say it. Henry was terrible to you but you’d still killed someone. You didn’t know what would happen, though you knew none of them would ever say anything but you’d physically murdered someone; didn’t matter if he was an asshat half of the time. “So there’s that.”

Richie noticed your discomfort, and could only imagine what you must be thinking. Leaning over, he grabbed your hand; ignoring the looks he received from the others. “You did what you had to do.” 

“Bu-”

“Richie’s right, Y/N.” Eddie interrupted you, turning to look at you with a sincere gaze. “Henry would’ve killed you if you hadn’t done what you did. He deserved it.” Richie squeezed your hand as you reluctantly nodded, giving a small smile his way.

But, we’re glad you’re okay, Stan.” Beverly smiled, her blue eyes brighter than before. Despite the fact that you’d all just come from a fight with a murderous clown and quite literally from a trip in the sewers, everyones faces seemed a whole lot brighter. Even you yourself, you felt less empty than you’d felt for so long. The world seemed brighter and a lot more colourful, rather than the dull black and white you’d been seeing it in for the past four years. 

“Yeah.” Mike agreed, nodding with a smile on his face.

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Kim Minseok//At Odds

Summary: You don’t think your soulmark will complete itself on the same day that it comes to be on your skin, yet it happens - and who’s on the other end, a matching tattoo adorned on their skin? Only Kim Minseok, a man who could not be any more different to you.
Scenario: soulmate!AU
Word Count: 6,584

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So Much More

Synopsis: You are a new and upcoming superstar and during an interview, you get asked questions about the one and only Harry Styles. 

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BTS replaced you. - pt.END

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [pt.END]


Originally posted by mimibtsghost

“You guys have no idea how hurt she is that you basically threw her to the curb and left her like that.” I looked at all seven of the men who stood before me after Y/N had ran to her room and closed the door behind her.

“Why are you interfering? What did you say to her to get her to hate us like this?” Jungkook stood before me, squaring up as if he was ready to throw a punch. But I took a step back.

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This issue is a big thing I have seen on the Internet and I have commented on before, but it really saddens me to see how obvious it has become with the release of Hiveswap. Nowadays, a new Big Thing pops up, the Fandom starts getting big, and people enjoy it and praise it to high heaven. Then, suddenly, the Fandom gets so big you see it constantly around, so people not interested in it grow to resent it.

Then, as with everything unpopular, a toxic side of the Fandom begins to take root, and people who genuinely enjoyed it start to see the ‘bad’ of the content they enjoyed, and bandwagon with the people that didn’t have any interest to begin with. This collective of people bashing the new Big Thing will group up the young and harmless part of the Fandom that’s just too ‘cringey’ for their tastes and the Bad Side of the Fandom as if they were the same thing, and act as if it’s the only thing that exists about it.

Suddenly the Big Thing is popular because it’s popular to bash on it and hate on it, which discourages the Good Side of the Fandom and only strengthens the Bad Side, while drawing more people to this collective bashing on it, until the Fandom has been reduced to a shadow of its former glory and all there’s left is Memes about ‘how bad this Fandom was’. Then, if someone still stuck through and enjoys the content, is seen as some sort of ancient, long lost nerd, everyone else has moved on to new Media, but they stuck with this AWFUL thing that used to be Big? Lol, how funny, how dumb!

And yet people keep coming back to ‘Classics’, games, books, movies, that were made 10, 20, 30 years ago, and put them as the pinnacle of EVERYTHING and if you haven’t seen it you’re like, committing a god damn crime.

People on the Internet act like there’s absolutely no piece of media that can last for longer than a few months at best, and are quick to abandon the boat when toxicity starts to show up instead of, you know, FIGHTING back against the awful people and drawing the line? Some will argue we just live in a time where popularity is fleeting, but if you ask someone what their favorite game is, and it was produced less than 3 years ago, they will be looked at like they’re some sort of monster.

Internet Culture right now doesn’t want to consider anything as something that could be relevant or a ‘Classic’ in a few years, even when for some people they may be as good or better than things they consider a ‘Classic’ or a ‘Staple’ of something. And inadvertently or not, they will look for any excuse to bash down and insult actually good things and things that have had a good impact on people based on an old side of the Fandom that may not even exist anymore. Ruining it for potential newcomers, shaming old fans.

Grow up, ignore things you don’t enjoy, and let people enjoy whatever they want as long as they aren’t being dicks about it. And when they’re being dicks about it? Then call them out. Don’t just go like “LUL THE FANDOM IS TOXIC”. Address the issues. Make the Fandom a better place. Otherwise you’re contributing to the problem more than a bunch of toxic assholes ever could.

How to become a good student (again) 4: Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband, cause I’m about to drop the p-bomb:

That’s right… p…p…pro…

PROCRASTINATION!

I know. I know. The moment has come, man. Procrastination has cost me so many hours of my life that I will never get back and I guess it’s the same for you.
Here’s a bit of a secret - the first three posts so far? They were actually also about procrastination. Specifically, they were about WHY you or I might procrastinate.
1. Because you’re overwhelmed by choices
2. Because, goddamnit, it’s HARD to to start
3. Because you have a screwed up relationship with studying

Now, in this post, we will be tying these threads together by looking at the WHAT and the HOW. You’ve examined the roots, you’ve gotten rid of the pesky little bugs living down there, so… WHAT is procrastination really and HOW do you defeat it and actually start studying?

Procrastinaton, for me, is a state of mind, a surround sound and most of all: a place - it’s LIMBO. It’s physically being unable to do something. Being caught in a web (very often the world wide one). Drowning in water. Being pulled apart, gaining momentum, losing control, cotton in my ears, the heat of shame in my chest, a thousand voices in my mind that I try to silence.

“You should be -”
“You have to -”
“You must -”

“Do something, do something, do something, anything, anything, anything, anything”
“You loser, you can’t even -”
“YOU USED TO BE GREAT and now you’re just-”

I hate myself while doing it. I feel horrible. I feel useless.
But at the same time, at the very bottom of my mind, there is something that I’ve refused to acknowledge for the longest time: a sense of pleasure.
Why
do I feel this weird sense of pleasure when I procrastinate? Why do I feel pleasure when I know I’m sabotaging my future through inaction? When I’m digging myself into a deeper and deeper grave? When I hate myself at the same time? Why do I procrastinate at all? Is it because of that underlying ironic pleasure?

Well, to find the answer to those questions, we first need to ask ourselves a bigger one: what is the OPPOSITE of limbo? If limbo is being caught in the middle of nowhere, floating, glitching, slowly imploding, then what is the opposite?
I’d say it’s movement, direction and action - you being in charge and moving things along, having agency, being alive and powerful and energetic and hot. I’d say it’s FLOW.

When I was a child, I had little to no problem syncing in and out of flow. It just came to me like second nature and I LOVED it. I loved the way my brain buzzed and I completely forgot about my surroundings. I loved disappearing into ideas, books, stories, video games, homework, a teacher’s lesson, a friend’s story, my own projects. I went in and out as I pleased and could turn it on and off like a light switch. It was so. much. fun. and I was so, so lucky to have had the privilege of such a talent.

Back then, I used to ache and hunger for a challenge. Things were smooth and easy and fun, but I wanted MORE - harder exercises, deeper questions, more challenging teachers. When I told my father about that, he smiled and said

“Be happy. You have put so much work into this. This is the moment it’s all paying off - you’ve turned and turned and turned your wheel and now it’s running smoothly along the street without even noticing how uneven the ground is.”

He was right, of course, but as time went on, I became more and dissatisfied with my smooth little wheel and started to procrastinate more and more. Why? And, again: where does the pleasure at procrastinating come from?

I’d argue that there are two main factors and one huge reason:

FACTOR 1: The wheel didn’t deliver on its promises

I already mentioned this in the very first post, but basically: disillusionment. I loved working hard, but I also expected it to pay off at some point. However, apart from the occasional pat on the head from a teacher or my parents’ smiles, there wasn’t all that much to be gained. There were no harder exercises, no special treatments, no big revelations - even university, my very last bastion of hope turned out to be a glorified bouncy castle.
I was just bored and the work I put into it wasn’t worth the outcome anymore. The system had failed me.

FACTOR 2: Suddenly, there were a lot of wheels

It is easy to glorify my younger self, but, really, child-me had it a lot easier.
Child-me only had one wheel to spin (school) and as I grew older, I realized that there were, well, many other wheels I had neglected.
I had a lot of catching up to do in areas like empathy, charisma, self-confidence and self-worth outside of academia, humour and fashion. And when I left school, there were even MORE wheels: suddenly, I also had to keep my job, my apartment, my much more complicated social life, my manifold hobbies and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule going.
I wasn’t prepared for this abundance of wheels. I’d grown up thinking that as long as I could keep the one wheel I was good at spinning (academia), I’d be juuuuust dandy. Well, I was wrong and I realized that, once again the system had failed me.

If only I’d had better teachers. If only I’d listened to the good ones. If only I’d worked the problem earlier. If only I was part of a better system that would recognize and foster my talents. Who knows how much I could achieve? Who knows how much I could have ALREADY achieved?

And that’s where the pleasure of procrastination comes from.
It is defiance. It is rebellion. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the system that failed me. It is a “Look at me! I’m operating outside the system and I’m STILL getting semi-good grades. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need any of this. I’m playing by MY rules. I’m getting shit done MY way. Because YOUR way disappointed me. Because I am FREE.”

If, at this point, you’re starting to feel sorry for me (or yourself for being in a similar situation) …that’s exactly the problem. There’s really no way to say this nicely, so here we go:

PROCRASTINATION IS NO MORE AND NO LESS THAN A GLORIFIED VICTIM COMPLEX.

Let me explain.
When you procrastinate, doesn’t it feel like you HAVE TO do things? Like you’re being FORCED to do something? Like you’re POWERLESS? Like you’re STUCK? Like you’re SUFFERING? Like you’re AT THE MERCY of your negative thoughts, the system or you’re conscience? Like you’re being WHIPPED AROUND? Like you crave recognition of your SUFFERING? Like you don’t have a choice except RUNNING AWAY and not facing what you’re FORCED to face?

All of these thoughts and emotions put you in the position of a sufferer - a victim.

You see yourself as a victim of the system, the school, the state, the assignment you should be working on. You deliver yourself unto their power. You submit to a simple dichotomy: I HAVE to do this or I SHOULD FEEL like shit.
I HAVE to do this, so I MUST suffer and accept the infringement of my freedom.

Well, let me tell you something that just about changed my life when I fully, deeply and profoundly realized the truth behind these words:

YOU 
DON’T 
HAVE
TO 
DO 
SHIT. 


…or a bit more eloquently put:

You’re the one in control.

No, honestly. You are. 

If you wanted to, you could throw it all into the wind, take the next train to nowhere and see where life takes you. But do you want to do that? 
And, the even bigger question: why do you feel SO powerless that this small, stupid act of rebellion against The System is enough to intoxicate you SO much that you keep coming back to suckle on its sweet, sweet bitter nectar?

It’s because you feel trapped. It’s because you feel lost. 
It’s because you feel like you have so much potential and it’s all going to FUCKING waste and if somebody were to just give you a FUCKING hand you could really show everybody just how much you can FUCKING do and-

-let me stop you right there and let me ask you 4 questions:

QUESTION 1)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are …but what’s the use of your intelligence if you can’t use it to improve your own life?

If you’re anything like me, you find it very easy and rewarding to help other people with their problems. You easily see the roots of problems and the ways that conflicts could be resolved. You’re an excellent trouble-shooter and a strategist in video games and for your friends… but what about your own life? Why do you ACCEPT playing the role of the victim in your own life?

Why do you accept this suffering?

Long story short: because you’ve grown used to it.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to make active choices, to exert your full agency and to take full responsibility for whatever mess might come of it. Leading me to…

Question 2)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but what’s the use of your intelligence if you don’t take anything seriously?

Be honest: when was the last time you took anything seriously and gave it your all? …no? Nothing?


Well, if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know the neat excuse of “eh, I was just winging it, but if I REALLY tried-” and do you know what that is? It’s cowardice and it’s self-victimization.

I know I’m coming on very strong.
But the truth is this: I know this. I know this because I’ve been living this. I’ve been living a second-hand life that I allowed to be ruled by “the system” and guilt and made-up obligations …and I almost lost myself in the process.

Maybe you can realize it with me: It’s some time ago, I wake up in the middle of the night and randomly feel like taking an IQ test online. I’m still half-asleep, I roll onto my stomach, I don’t even sit up, I meander my way through the questions. Shit. I realize that time is running out and I haven’t even finished ¾ of the questions! I panick. I feel guilty. I finally sit up. I start trying harder. I’m getting faster and faster - faster than I ever thought possible. And despite 5 minutes of good effort - 
I fail. Hard.
And as I sit there in my dark room, my unbelievably sucky result glowing on the screen of my mobile phone and I look out of the window, I realize: this has been my life for the past 5 years. Winging stuff at not even 50% of my capacity and being hurt by the results. Honestly, when WAS the last time I took anything really seriously? 

The next day, I get 8 hours of sleep, sit down in front of my laptop with a bottle of water, search for the most professional IQ test I can find and concentrate from the very beginning. I score 30 points higher. 

Let me repeat that: I scored 30 points higher on an IQ test because I actually tried. Magical things can happen if you take stuff seriously.

Leading us to

Question 3)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but when was the last time your intelligence has brought you joy?

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “The burnt child dreads the fire”? When I thought back on my academic progress in the last years, I realized that there really hadn’t been much joy anywhere. Pretty much everything had sucked. 

Big time.

Of course I wouldn’t want to invest my energy into something that didn’t yield any good results … right?

Wrong. My lack of good results was only an indicator for the real problem: my lack of effort.
The simple truth is this: 
We are smart. We enjoy doing what we are good at. We enjoy hard mental work, REGARDLESS of the results.
But once I started to focus too much on the results and thought it was all about having a great CV and min-maxing my grades… I just didn’t have fun anymore. I didn’t allow myself to have fun anymore. To disappear into a world of thoughts like I used to as a child. To invest way too much time into a project, to have an absolute BLAST creating something complex and outstanding and super cool. 

Bringing us to…

Question 4) 
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but can you really create something extraordinary?

See that’s the thing: when I was a child, I didn’t just take school seriously.
I wanted to go the extra mile. 
And honestly? That was the whole secret. I wanted to create something that wasn’t just special but mind-blowingly special. It’s not like I knew I had it in me, but rather that I wanted grow to have more and more in me and I knew that the only way to do that was to challenge myself again and again.
That’s the difference between viewing your intelligence and your capabilities as stagnant or growing. There is no joy and no truth in regarding yourself as stagnant - the best of violin players started out sounding like a dying cat and the best athletes kept stumbling. If you want to create and become something extraordinary, you need to know that it will not happen overnight. You need to know that it will be a slow, hard and challenging hike up a hill and the only thing that keeps you climbing is your willingness to go the extra mile so you can see the view become more and more beautiful.

The real pleasure of studying is not getting good results and bragging rights - that’s just a cool side-effect. The real pleasure of studying is studying and that means working and knowing that working gets you one step ahead one step at a time.

So HOW can you change? HOW can you regain control? How can you consciously go from limbo to flow?
First of all:

1) RECLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PASSION

The first thing I tell myself in the morning is “My life is in my hands.”
That’s not always an easy sentence to start with, especially if I haven’t slept well or if I’m sick or in the middle of a fight or an existential crisis or just crabby.
But it’s always true. It’s MY life and it’s my responsibility to make the best of it. 

One poem in particular has really helped me, so who knows, maybe it’ll help some of you guys as well:

The Vow

No matter how deep the sadness or wide the pain,
I vow to live for a brighter day will come again.

No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past,
I vow to live and in the future avoid them, surefooted and fast.

No matter how many tragedies beyond my control take place,
I vow to live and stay my course within this race.

No matter how poor or rich I may ever be,
I vow to live and aspire to search for the dignity in simplicity.

No matter how much a lover may pierce the inner core of my heart,
I vow to live for like spring I’ll get a new start.

No matter how isolated and alone I may feel,
I vow to live and do something for someone else to heal.

No matter how hopeless my situation my appear,
I vow to live and reflect until my viewpoint is clear.

No matter what happens in this life – good or bad
I vow to live, do my best, and just for living – be glad.

– Malcolm O. Varner

If you want to find pleasure in studying again, you need to embrace your own passion.
I know it’s a lot “cooler” to be indifferent towards studying, to procrastinate, to do it almost out of spite and at the last minute. But is it really?
No one wins. It’s not rewarding. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll have forgotten it in a week. It just sucks for everyone involved. Love what you do. Love it like you would a lover. Be considerate, be tender and be patient.
It must not feel like an obligation. It must feel like a passion - a fiery want for new horizons, mentals fireworks and lightbulb moments. It must come from yourself, from your bowels, your fibres, your blood - not from some ominous outside force. 

“I have to do this.” -> “I want to do this!”
“I’m losing time. There is so much I have to do, I want to be done with this already.” -> “I want to give this my time. This is absolutely worth it. I really want to be doing this right now.”
“Be fast. Be faster.” -> “Slow down. Be patient. Cherish this moment.”
“This is hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.” -> “This is challenging. I love it. I love it so much.”
“I can make this perfect, it has to be perfect! I could give this my all, I can give this my all. If I’m not giving this my all, I’m a complete and utter failure. Better not try at all rather than screwing it up. Again.”   -> “This is a work-in-progress, just like anything else. I am sure I can improve it bit by bit, by devoting some of my time to it. Even if I don’t get very far today, I’m sure the experience will pay off in the long run and I might find some unrelated ideas for other projects!”

You must go from this:

To that:

2) MAKE ACTIVE CHOICES.

(Like, maybe make the choice NOT to wear that speedo)

Because that’s really what it comes down to in the end: CHOICE. Nobody actively chooses to procrastinate. Procrastination is the absence of choice. 

Years of little to no success make you feel like your choices don’t matter -> you feel like you cannot influence anything -> you might as well not try -> you procrastinate.
But here’s the thing: your choices DO matter (DITCH that speedo!) and you must regain that trust in yourself.

We NEED to be able to make choices about their own lives. It makes us feel powerful and like we are truly alive.
It makes us feel like we are, you guessed it, in the flow.

Now, of course it’d be nice if I told you “Make conscious choices sweaty <3 ;*” and you’d go out and do it and that was it. But, truth be told, it’s hella hard to get there and it will take you at least a year of constant effort.
For me, this year meant constantly asking myself “Wait, do I REALLY want to do this right now?” and establishing a neat rule for all media consumption that goes “Always enrichment, never escape”. But, as I said, that’s a work-in-progress and something that you will have to work on in your own time and at your own pace.
Luckily, I found a shortcut :D

Now, the shortcut does not replace the year of constant effort, mind you, but it can help to make it a lot easier:

THE STUDY ROOM

What’s the “Study Room”? Well…
You might have been wondering what the title “Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself” is all about. This was my thought process:

  • 1) I want to get from limbo to flow
  • 2) And I want studying to feel like a reward in and of itself
  • 3) And it’d be nice if I could concentrate on just spinning one wheel at a time, so I can really lose myself in it
  • 4) I also want it to be a conscious choice, so I can train my decision-making process
  • ….
  • ….but how?
  • …”fake it till you make it” or what, haha?
  • ….I guess what that really means is that you have to act like you’re already there until you’re there?
  • …so, like, you have to artifically induce naturalness?
  • …haha, wouldn’t it be neat if I could do that and “transform” into my “study-form” like the Avatar or a magical girl or a superhero or something?
  • …..
  • …wait. Wait. WAIT. What if I COULD?
  • What if there was a “me” that was specifically always in the flow and already loves and is good at studying and which I only access whenever I want to study?
  • So I create a new “me”, so that, over time, we can become one again and I can change into that “me” whenever I want?
  • …cool.
  • …but how?
  • I could always go to a special place, but that would limit me whenever that place wasn’t availabe.
  • …buuuuuut…..
  • …..what if it was a place I could ALWAYS access?
  • what if it was a place in my MIND?
  • ….
  • …..holy SHIT.

And that’s how the “Study Room” was born. Below, I will detail the journey to my personal “study room”, but I wager that everybody’s study room will look a little different depending on what makes you feel most comfortable, rational and “in the flow”.

STEP 1 - DETACH FROM LIMBO

Close your eyes. Lean back.
Do it with me now. Consider this your tutorial. Bring yourself to a screeching halt, throw an anchor into the the ground of the stormy sea, pull the brakes, just - stop. Stop. Slow down.
Close your eyes, lean back, keep your eyes closed for a good minute - god, how long a minute can be, right?- and feel your breathing consciously, slowly, feel how you are alive and full of hunger, feel how your heart beats, feel how much tension has built up inside of you, how much energy has been stored and how much you actually ache to do something meaningful. Feel it. Keep your eyes closed until you feel it. Then, come back to me.

STEP 2 - BECOME AWARE OF REALITY

I don’t know if you’ll need this step, but I live very much inside my head and limbo just makes that effect even stronger. So, I like to remind myself of my physicality, of my spatial realness, of my ability to perceive and interact with the world in this step. I re-connect with the world and it slows me down even more - it’s a bit like hooking myself into this world, so limbo can’t claim me so easily.
I drink a glass of water, I eat a carrot, I touch a cold tile, I feel the texture of a pillow, I play with my own hair - if I’m in public, like in a library, I usually just brush over my lips or grip the table unobtrusively. It’s a small step, one that usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but it’s one that has helped me a lot.

(When I’m really caught up in limbo, I usually lie down on the floor in my room. That works wonders)

STEP 3 - ENTER YOUR STUDY PLACE

At this point, I close my eyes again and visualize. I enter another world, the world of studying in my mind.

STEP 3A - THE DOOR

My eyes are still closed and imagine a dark, circular room: this is the entrance to my Study Room ™. I stand in the middle of the room - there is one door right in front of me, two to my left and two to my right. I have no idea what’s behind those other doors or why my imagination has conjured up a room like that, but hey, it works and here we are.
I gather all my concentration and repeat “My life is in my hands. I take on the responsibility for my own life. I WANT to learn. I CHOOSE this.” to myself. Then, I consciously choose to walk in only one direction, channeling all my thoughts into a straight line: towards the door right in front of me. I enter through it - somehow, I never have to actually open it, so it might be more like an open doorway?

STEP 3B - THE WATER

I step through the door and find myself in a space filled with water. I have absolutely no trouble breathing and I can easily swim, turn, glide and spiral like a dolphin. The water washes the last remnants of limbo off me, I feel my tensions washing away, my mind waking up, the wheel starting to move, my chest feeling lighter, my heart feeling hotter, my breathing going slow and steady. I swim in this liminal space for as long as I need to, I revel, I breathe, I wallow, I luxuriate until I feel ready to emerge from the water.
(wonder what psychologists would say about this little ritual - is it a literal re-birth? is this the womb? who knows? it works and that’s good enough for me right now …now that I think about it, that beach scene from Gravity might have been an inspiration. Man, I loved that movie already, but that ending?? Aaaaanyway, moving on…)

STEP 3C - THE WORLD

Then, I swim upwards and emerge from the water, head-first. The sun is warm and shines on my head and I step out of the water with bare feet, toes curling around grass and my lungs breathing in fresh forest air. Somewhere, a bird is singing, white clouds are languidly drifting by, all is warm, comfortable and good. I sit down on a giant mushroom by a tree (hey, don’t ask me, I don’t know), take a last deep breath and put pen to paper.
At this point, I open my eyes in the real world. I am completely relaxed, a thousand miles away from limbo, in another dimension even, calm and happy to engage with questions and wonders.

I’m in the flow.

In this world, I am a different me. A “study-me”.
In time, this me and I will merge again and we have already merged quite a bit. My walk through the Study Room process has become faster and faster and I am quite certain that, in time, it won’t take longer than a fraction of a second and it will seem like I can switch my flow on and off again like I used to. My study wheel is rolling again.

But if yours isn’t just yet, then …this is it. This is how, this is why and this is the very moment I re-connect with my “study values”, my passion and my agency, again and again and I choose to do it. Again. And again.


It is, really, all about choice.

And that’s the advantage I have over the old me. The old me studied because I didn’t know anything else and because I thought that I had to. 
The me right now chooses to study because I want to. And that makes it ten times more effective, more freeing and more fun.

So run wild, enjoy, actively enter that world of studying in your head, no matter what yours might look like (rain? palm trees? other planet? go bonkers!), it’s about choosing this and wanting this. It is about YOU saying “Yes, there are other interesting things and wheels out there, but right here, right now, I want this, nothing else and I will give it all of myself for as long as I want to.”

As you might have guessed by the gifs, I really recommend watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club if you’re interested in overcoming procrastination.
(I swear I’m not sponsored by KyoAni, but for all their other shortcomings, their characters always have amazing character arcs when it comes to professionalism and passions) Both Rin and Haru are caught in their own versions of limbo and following Rin’s journey in Season 1 and Haru’s journey in Season 2 really helped me realize a lot of things about my own life and about how I dealt with passion, talent and my career.

The last part of this series will include a Q&A, so if there is something you didn’t quite understand or are unsure about, something you’d like to add or recommend to others, something you’d like me to explain in more detail or demonstrate through other examples, please, just write me a message (my inbox is absolutely open!) and I will answer it in Part 5 :)

Thank you for coming along on this ride! I hope some of my thoughts could help you and please, do let me know if my methods work for you - I’d love to know! :D 

Your life is in your hands,

-studyinstyle

Wanna One Kang Daniel Prince! AU (Part 4)

And here we go, the last part of the Prince AU! Get ready for a wall of text, this is about 50% longer than the other parts (oops). Anyway, this has been such a fun series to write. You can find links to other parts here: 1, 2, 3. Enjoy! (You + Kang Daniel)

Originally posted by parkvmins

  • “(Y/N), do you like me?”
  • oh my god no nO NO non non ono noono nO NO NO what do i s ay oh myg od
  • “Uh, no I don’t, weirdo,” you nervously laughed, backing away from him, turning your face away from him so he couldn’t see the blush that was running to your cheeks
  • Daniel stood up, eyes curving playfully, his gaze boring into you
  • “Hmmm… I heard everything, though, (Y/N),” he walked closer and closer to you, you carefully backing up in response
  • What the hell does he think he’s doing right now oh my god
  • “What did you hear? You must be hearing things, I never said that I like you, you should get your ears checked out,” you replied, unable to meet his strong gaze
  • “There are different ways to say you like someone… and I heard,” Daniel began, poking your cheek, “someone here saying they wouldn’t mind marrying me… at all,” he finished, smirking
  • Suddenly, you had a sudden rush of confidence, standing up straight and looking Daniel right in the eye
  • “Well, last time I checked, “wouldn’t mind” doesn’t mean the same thing as “want to”, in fact all it means that I’m completely neutral about marrying you mister,” you replied, wiggling your eyebrows at him, walking right past him to take a seat on the bed
  • You were too focused on stopPING YOUR OWN HEART from exploding out of your chest to notice Daniel’s quiet “oh” in response to your comeback
  • And Daniel was having problems of his own: for some reason, he was… disappointed by your response
  • Suddenly, he didn’t want to talk with you anymore or finish his homework/lesson with you, and silently walked to his own end of the bed, climbing under the comforter, resting his head on the pillow to face away from you
  • He honestly felt like punching something or slamming his body against the bed but willed himself to complete stillness, not wanting to communicate his feelings to you in any way
  • He didn’t realize how excited and happy and built up he had gotten when you had whispered to him, thinking he was asleep
  • And now he knew he shouldn’t be mad, but here he was, unable to talk to you for some reason
  • You were shaken up as well, on the opposite side of the bed, and climbed in without a word, confused as to why Daniel had suddenly stopped talking to you… was he angry?
  • You laid down there, unable to fall asleep for some reason sometimes sneaking glances at Daniel’s huge curled up body
  • You fell into sleep, emptily staring at him from afar, confused about what was happening
  • Daniel, on the other hand, was unable to rest and forget about the night’s previous events
  • He tossed and turned in the dimly-lit room, sometimes facing you, looking at your sleeping face
  • Why am I feeling like this… 
  • He silently raged at himself, never having felt this way before, before one clear and frightening thought entered his mind
  • I wanted her to like me.
  • That was it. That’s the entire explanation, and he still struggled to understand why he wanted that
  • Daniel fell asleep out of exhaustion, his last thoughts before he drifted off being a complete mess
  • zzzz good night you two
  • The next morning, you groggily opened your eyes, only to find yourself face to face with Daniel’s shirt
  • It took a couple seconds for you to process the position you were in: all snuggled up in Daniel’s chest, his arms holding you against him
  • oh my gOD WHAT HE WHAT IS HE DOING HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
  • You two slept in the same bed literally every night, and this had never once happened in all that time
  • Keep in mind the bed is huge, and you two are all the way shifted to one side, leaving the other side completely empty
  • Nevertheless, you couldn’t will yourself to move out of Daniel’s grasp, you wanting to stay in this position… for as long as possible
  • You didn’t make a move, and closed your eyes again
  • In your logic, you two were on your side of the bed, so whatever happened wasn’t because of you, so you just went with it
  • You had no idea that Daniel was also awake and pretending to be asleep LOL
  • He was equally shocked when he woke up; he had no idea how he ended up in this position over the night, but he found himself enjoying the feeling of your body warming him up
  • He hoped you wouldn’t feel his heart racing, your face right on his chest
  • And the both of you just laid there, trying to keep yourselves perfectly still, secretly appreciating the other’s presence as much as possible
  • Y’all dumb af lol
  • You two would have just laid there forever until you turned into corpses, if not for the intercom interrupting your peaceful silence
  • “Prince Kang, Miss (Y/L/N), please wash up and join the family for Lunch at noon.”
  • that dAMN security system… the Queen and King are probably watching us like we’re characters in a movie, deciding to “wake you up” now
  • You both twitched in shock from the noise, sitting up in the bed, eyes finally meeting one another (and you two were both pretty much wide awake by now lol)
  • “Oh- um hey,” Daniel greeted you, the first words he had spoken to you since last night
  • You cleared your throat, “hey, good morning”
  • It wasn’t every day you saw Daniel at a loss for words – he was quiet and you two just looked at each other before getting up, mutually agreeing to pretend like last night and this morning never happened…
  • …or so you thought.
  • You were on your way out of his room, mumbling that you would go wash up first, when you heard Daniel’s voice call out from behind you
  • “(Y/N).”
  • You stopped, and turned around, to come face to face with Daniel – when had he gotten so close?
  • You looked at him, not having time to say anything, when his bunny teeth poked out from between his lips
  • “You like me. You totally do.”
  • wait. what? where was this coming from…
  • This time, you had nothing to say to Daniel, and just blankly stared at him, waiting for an explanation
  • Daniel smugly smirked at you, before continuing
  • “Maybe you don’t realize it, but you totally like me, I just get this vibe from you,”
  • “What are you babbling, get ahold of yourself man” you said, kicking his leg and running away
  • You didn’t know what Daniel was trying to pull here, and honestly he wasn’t sure himself
  • He just wanted not to be awkward with you, and for things to go back to normal – and that meant teasing you, even if it was over something that wasn’t… confirmed
  • And maybe, he was hoping to himself that it was true, and telling you that you liked him made him take his mind off the fact that there was a possibility you didn’t, serving as a source of comfort for him
  • Over the next couple weeks, you could count on Daniel to catch literally any small action you did and turn it into a “you like me” thing
  • Every night he would set up a pillow barrier between you two, claiming that other night that you jumped him and he was trying to “protect” his “purity”
  • Even if your hand slightly touched him for one reason or another, he would get all on your case about that
  • “OH I CAUGHT YOU!!!” or “What can I do, I’m so charming, even you couldn’t resist me”
  • Sometimes he’d purposely set you up, asking if you wanted some of his drink, and when you agreed he’d tease you for sharing a drink with him
  • Most of the time you were just too done to respond to him, only managing an eye roll or glare
  • Ong and Jaehwan saw all of this happen, and would give Daniel the "really bro” look every time (just to go unnoticed by him)
  • To them, it was obvious that all this teasing was just a sign that he had a huge crush on you (which they had picked up a while ago)
  • They’d whisper about Daniel right in front of him lmao
  • “Daniel is good looking, but really bad at dating”
  • “I have no idea what he’s doing”
  • “What a freak”
  • “It’s funny how he claims (Y/N) likes him over the dumbest things but he can’t realize he likes her over the same teasing he does to her”
  • “That’s dumb Daniel for ya”
  • Daniel was really like a little kid, unable to figure himself out
  • He was the type to tell someone directly when he liked them, but he hadn’t seemed to have figured out his feelings for you… weirdo
  • So you were stuck with all this teasing, but you were in too deep in your own feelings for him that you didn’t even care at this point LOL
  • Everything was stuck in this strange limbo between friendship and dating until one day, when you were to take a multi-day trip to attend a competition for one of the clubs you were in at school
  • And of course, Daniel made this big deal about you going to miss him
  • “If you get too sad while I’m not there with you, feel free to call me or anything (Y/N), I’ll make sure my phone is always turned on for you, I wouldn’t want you to be sad on your trip,” he teased, poking your cheeks (he tended to do that a lot lol)
  • The line between joking and serious was completely blurred at this point, and for the time being you didn’t make an effort to clear it
  • “Sure thing, fella, I could say the same to you,”
  • You went on your trip, and on your end it was for the most part uneventful
  • After all, you were already self-aware of your emotions for him, and you had already come to terms with missing him for a few days
  • but the case wAS DIFFERENT FOR MR. KANG HERE
  • He had laughed at his own jokes over sending you off, but once you had left, he was an absolute mess
  • That afternoon at the coffeeshop, Daniel barely spoke a word to Ong and Jaehwan, and kept checking his phone and putting it back in his pocket over and over again
  • After a while, Daniel couldn’t take it anymore, and told Ong and Jaehwan that he had to leave
  • “I think I’m feeling sick, I have no idea why, my head hurts for some reason, I’m going to go home early today guys”
  • Jaehwan and Ong already knew that if they told Daniel he liked you, he would just deny it and tell them they were crazy
  • This one, he had to figure out on his own
  • Daniel couldn’t focus at all; when he arrived back at the palace, he had no idea what to do
  • For some reason, he couldn’t remember what he used to do after school before you lived with him
  • He tried playing computer games and eating food but couldn’t stop checking his phone
  • “She definitely misses me, why isn’t she texting?”
  • He even checked his temperature, trying to find the cause of the weird feeling that was taking over his body
  • He flopped on his bed, staring at his phone and flailing his limbs around because he’s strange
  • Daniel found himself mindlessly tapping his phone to almost call you multiple times before catching himself and stopping
  • But on one attempt, he failed to stop himself and the call went through, unbeknownst to him LOL
  • “Hello?” Your voice called out from the other line
  • wa w ahat (Y/N) how is she here what why is she on the call
  • He quickly came to the wrong conclusion, that you had finally called him, quickly getting cocky again
  • “Ah, (Y/N), looks like you finally caved in and called me, I know you couldn’t resist, you totally missed me, but what can I expect if you like me so much,” he cackled out
  • You were, obviously, extremely confused as to what was happening
  • “Daniel? I didn’t call you though,” you replied
  • “Yes you obviously did, Miss (Y/N)”
  • “Daniel. Literally check your phone, you’re the one who called me, if anything, according to your own logic, this means you are the one who misses me and you like me, idiot”
  • wait, what? Daniel checked his phone log, the outreaching arrow indicating that he was the one who had started the call, his eyes nearly popping out of his head when he saw the symbol
  • He sat there in silence, shocked, still on the call
  • “Daniel? Are you still there?” your voice reclaimed his attention
  • “yeah,” he responded, shocking you – in that one word, you heard softness and vulnerability
  • “Uh- are you okay? Did something happen?”
  • Without thinking, Daniel finally let loose the words that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue for so long, shocking the both of you
  • “I think I like you, (Y/N).”
  • “What?”
  • Everything was becoming clear to Daniel – how had I not figured this out earlier? You’re literally such a fool, he thought, scolding himself
  • More confidently this time, he repeated himself
  • “(Y/N). I definitely like you. I miss you too.”
  • “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is happening now, Daniel I’m literally on a bus right now,” you quietly laughed into the phone, hoping the sounds of the bus were too loud for others to hear your conversation
  • Hearing your laugh made Daniel’s heart literally flutter, his feet kicking his bed in happiness
  • Everything was finally making sense, and that was in itself comforting
  • “Sorry I didn’t tell you before, (Y/N), I literally just figured it out. Like 30 seconds ago,” he giggled back at you
  • “You’re so dumb; this whole time you were the one making fun of me and telling me that I was the one who liked you, you fool”
  • “Well, I mean, you do, right? Like me?”
  • “No, I don’t, and now I’m going to tease you about liking me for months!” (you couldn’t hold back at this momentary revenge on him)
  • But Daniel felt his heart drop at your answer
  • “Wait, you don’t? But- but you always stare at me and joke with me and we’re just perfect together you have to like me!” Daniel cutely protested, and you completely gave in – you were a total sucker for him
  • “I’ve literally liked you since that holiday party months ago, don’t even I’ve deadass been waiting for a sign from you since forever” you replied, unintentionally confessing more than you had intended
  • “Wait what? Since the party? Oh my god, you’re SO into me, and I’m never going to forget it”
  • “Ugh I’m hanging up, I can’t believe I told you that,” you said angrily, but Daniel heard the smile in your voice
  • “Okay, we can continue this juicy information session later then, dumbo”
  • “I’M LEAVING BYE”
  • “Bye sweetheart”
  • “…never call me that again or I will end you”
  • “I thought you were leaving? Can’t seem to end the call with me? You really are in too deep girl”
  • “Shut up I’m going now” you hastily hung up
  • And the both of you just sat in your respective locations, with huge grins covering your faces
  • Not once could you two have a prolonged nice moment without turning to harass the other… but nevertheless, it felt so right
  • For the next couple days of that trip, you two called each other every night, but throughout the day solely communicated through those sticker emojis on the text message app (wtf)
  • When you returned to the palace after what seemed like the longest 4 days of both of your lives, Daniel was the first one to greet you, opening the doors of the palace himself, urging the servants to let him do it himself
  • You began to greet Daniel with a simple “hey”, but he immediately smothered you in a tight hug, making the servants giggle in shyness behind him
  • “Dan- dude I can’t breathe” you mustered out, your face smushed against his chest
  • All he did was laugh in response and drag you to his room, quickly closing the door behind him and holding you still in front of him, his hands cupping your shoulders
  • He looked like a complete puppy, happy and shy and excited at the same time
  • He still hadn’t said anything, and was still laughing, breathing heavily at the shameless running the both of you had just done
  • And just like that, you felt his lips on your forehead, there one second and gone the next
  • “Oh my gosh, that felt as good as I imagined,” he breathed out, sTILL LAUGHING LIKE HE WON’T STOP LAUGHING
  • You could only look at him, taken completely by surprise, rapidly blinking due to the closeness between the two of you
  • “Can I do it again?” Daniel asked, finally getting a hold of himself
  • “Like you asked the first time,” you muttered, feeling your heart dance as he wrapped a hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him
  • “Good point. Sorry about that. Can I do it again though?” he cockily asked
  • You snatched up some confidence you didn’t know you had, and pecked his lips in response, making the both of you pink
  • “Um- I couldn’t reach your forehead,” you sheepishly explained, leaving Daniel the one in shock this time
  • “Oh, sorry, I should’ve asked,” you apologized to Daniel, confused at what he was silently thinking
  • “No. It’s fine.” he rasped back at you, his eyes changing to something more… intense, before nodding at himself and simply embracing you in a hug, patting your hair with one of his hands
  • “I’m glad you’re back,” he mumbled into the top of your head
  • “I was only gone for a couple days, Dan”
  • “Still cmon you missed me too,” he prodded, slightly nudging your leg with his knee
  • “Yes I am aware”
  • “I mean, not like I had to ask, you’re the one who’s liked me since the holiday party, jeez”
  • You stepped away from him in response
  • “Oh, you wanna go there? Really? You’re the one who confessed over the phone after calling me and proceeding to claim that I was the one who called and missed you”
  • “HEY”
  • “HEY YOURSELF”
  • Welp, there goes that moment NICE ONE GUYS
  • And the two of you were all weird again, bickering as usual…
  • but you wouldn’t have it any other way :’))
  • The both of you officially dated from then on, making the King and Queen very happy about the development
  • And yes, they did tell you to begin preparing for grandchildren after you two got married, making you two very embarrassed LOL
  • You two actually didn’t talk about marriage, but it was looming over your heads
  • Jaehwan and Ong were relieved that Daniel had finally figured himself out, and they complained to him about all the times he annoyed them over it LOL
  • You two actually went out alone sometimes now, but for the most part your relationship was the same as before… except for the occasional attempts at romance and… intimacy aHEM
  • Daniel would do the cringiest things, like say dumb pickup lines and help you put on your shoes, calling you “princess” (which makes sense)
  • You would be mesmerized or disgusted by these efforts, and frequently made fun of him, but you both just liked each other so much so it didn’t matter much LOL
  • The King and Queen absolutely adored the two of you, and were incredibly satisfied that their master plan had resulted in fruits of success
  • They caught you exchanging your first “love you”s and blushes and the Queen literally screamed jfc
  • (why Daniel said “love you” instead of “thank you” when you passed him the juice at dinner one day was still unknown to this day)
  • And slowly, over the course of weeks, the both of you drifted together before sleeping, getting closer and closer until one day you both just began falling asleep in the other’s arms, both of you extremely content
  • And one night, as you two were drifting off together, Daniel’s voice softly called out to you
  • “(Y/N).”
  • “Hmmm?” you groggily responded, about to fall asleep
  • “I already call you my princess, why don’t we just make it official?”
  • Suddenly, you were wide awake – did… did he just propose to me?
  • Like you two were already set to have an arranged marriage in the next year according to the parents, but why were these words making you so happy?
  • “W-what?” was all you managed to get out, a smile already forming on your lips
  • “(Y/N), you know what I mean. Let’s get married?”
  • You couldn’t hold back your excited squeal as you pulled yourself into Daniel’s warm chest, quickly nodding in response
  • A year ago, you couldn’t imagine being proposed to, in the middle of the night, cuddling with the nation’s literal Prince Kang Daniel, but here you were… and now this life seemed not only normal, but necessary
  • “Okay, sounds good. Good night Princess (Y/L/N),” Daniel whispered, as if he didn’t just propose to you a minute earlier… 
  • And you loved him for that.
  • “Night, Daniel.”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Originally posted by fydaniel


A/N: Ahh I hope that ending was alright… guess I wanted to keep it a simple contrast to what happened right before that 😉 This part came out to be longer than the others, but I really wanted to finish it up this time. Hope you enjoyed!

I haven’t been updating as frequently as I am preparing for pre-college things, but I also don’t want to rush so that I can make sure to put out quality writings that I feel confident about. Hope that makes sense!

Thank you once again for all of the patience! I know many of you have been waiting for a while 💖

Leave

Originally posted by ohstylesno

This was a request from @ashgrayily! Thank you so much, this was an interesting one. Hope you all enjoy. xx - L

The story about Y/N and Harry’s on-and-off again relationship.

Warnings: Mention of smut

Word Count: 2,201

Keep reading

Love Me Please

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: CEO!AU | Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 1872

Author’s Note: I do not own the gif. Credit goes to owner.

↠ Masterlist | ↠ Ask


Being the personal assistant of one of Korea’s well known businessman wasn’t easy. Especially, when said businessman was the most morose and irritating person you’ve ever met in your life. To be honest, when you first applied for this job, you did not expect your boss to be a 22-year-old young man. At the beginning, you admired how well he handled his work and company with passion and hard work at such a young age, finding it even attractive to the point where you couldn’t wait to go to work the next morning. Well, that was until he removed that heartwarming smile and showed his true face. Who would have known that said boss was hiding a very conceited personality behind that ‘Oh I’m so hardworking, down to earth and I love my job’ mask? Surprise! You didn’t. Until he started picking at everything you were doing, be it good or bad, giving you harsh comments every now and then, making you want to punch him right in the face. But being the hardworking woman you were, you never gave up and worked even harder, proving to him that no matter what he was doing, you wouldn’t break down as he wished you would.

You name is Y/N, and you are going to show your Boss, Kim Taehyung, that you’re unbreakable.


“Mr. Kim, we need to hurry-“

Before you could end your sentence, you covered your eyes with your hands, turning your head around so fast you thought your neck snapped.

Taking a deep breath, you clenched your jaw tightly and hissed slightly. “Mr. Kim! The dinner starts in 15 minutes, we need to leave now.“

“Babe, why don’t you just kick her out?“ You heard the woman sitting on his lap ask with a high pitched voice, her lips still attached on his neck.

Chuckling at the question, your boss answered with his raspy voice. “Darling, you know I would, but this dinner is important. My dad has obliged me to go there no matter what.“

“But Babe~“ She whined as she pouted her lips.

“I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart.“

Gaging at their nicknames for each other, you watched how your boss winked at his–most probably–one night stand as he reached out for his jacket, walking toward you with a smirk plastered on his lips.

Rolling your eyes, you opened the door and stepped out of his office as you were looking down to your planer. When you felt his presence beside you, you started talking. “Chairman Kim wanted me to say that this dinner with Mr. Byun is very important. The last dinner you both had didn’t go well, I know. But please try to make sure to convince him to sign the contract, Sir. Otherwise your father will be mad at you.“

“You’re really talking too much, Y/N.“ Your Boss huffed as he nodded to his driver once to affirm him that he could drive now.

Taking another deep breath, you tried to calm your anger down. “This dinner is important, Mr. Kim. Please, take it seriously.“

Clicking his tongue, he mumbled. “Whatever.“

Looks like tonight was going to be a very stressful and long night.


“But Sir, your father wants you to apologize!“

Glaring at you, Taehyung hissed. “I’m not apologizing, Y/N! You, out of all people, should now that!“

Placing your fingers on your temple, you whispered. “I know, Sir. Mr. Byun wasn’t behaving like a professional either but this is really important for your company. This is the best deal we’ve received for this project and everyone worked really hard on it. Please, do it for your workers, Sir..“

You watched how his eyes softened after hearing your words. Tilting your head a little bit, you looked him expectantly in the eyes. “Hmm?“

Breaking the eye contact, he nodded and mumbled softly. “Okay..“

Smiling triumphantly, you leaned back in your chair. Checking the time on your watch, you confirmed. “It’s already 8 o’clock, he should be here any minute-“

Just before you could end your sentence, Mr. Byun walked up to your table. Nudging your Boss, you whispered. “He’s here.“

Now you just had to do one thing; get the signature.


“Taehyung, my friend, why aren’t you eating?“ Mr. Byun asked as he smirked at your Boss.

Placing a fake smile on his face, Taehyung answered. “I’m not hungry, Mr. Byun.“

“Why did you order food if you’re not hungry. Wait, why do I even care? You’re the one who’s going to pay.“ Mr. Byun laughed shamelessly.

Turning your head to your left, you observerd Taehyung’s face, who, by the way, insisted you should sit beside him. His jaw was clenched and his hands were formed into fists, anger running through his whole body.

The dinner wasn’t going as smoothly as you hoped, the sarky remarks that was leaving Mr. Byun’s mouth turning the atmosphere into an uncomfortable one. Every now and then, you turned your head to your boss and tried to make eye contact with him, making sure that he wouldn’t jump out of his chair and punch Mr. Byun right in the face.

“My lovely Y/N, are you just eating a salad?“

Hearing your name coming out of Mr. Byun’s mouth in such a way, your whole body tensed. “A-Ah, yes. I’m not that hungry,“ you said while forcing a smile.

“Ahh, so you’re taking care of your body, hm?“ He asked again.

“E-Ehm, yeah, yeah..“

“Believe me, sweetheart, I would do the same if I would have such a beautiful body like yours. I wish I had such a beautiful assistant like you. I would work 24/7 and never leave my office.“ He said as he observed your body up and down.

You jumped slightly when you heard your Boss slam his cutlery on the table. When you turned your head to him, you saw him glaring at the man sitting in front of you, the veins on his neck already visible.

Taehyung was angry, very angry.

You, on the other hand, didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t ruin this dinner, you had to think about your coworkers who had worked so hard on this project. They deserved the best. So, you took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

Cutting his steak into pieces, Mr. Byun asked another inappropriate question. “Sweetheart, are you single?“

Gripping your chair, you answered through your gritted teeth. “Yes, I am, Sir.“

Don’t ruin this, Y/N! Don’t!

“Hm, beautiful.“

From the corner of your eye, you saw Taehyung lift his knife up as he glared at Mr. Byun. Immediately, your hand reached towards his hand, taking the knife away from him and giving him his glass filled with water. When you made sure that nothing sharp was near his side, you slightly leaned to him and hissed. “Don’t, Mr. Kim. Don’t forget why we’re here. Here, drink your water.“

Thank God, Mr. Byun oblivious to all this since he was enjoying his steak.

Looking up from his plate, the man sitting in front of you smiled at your Boss. “So, Taehyung. I’m listening to you.“

Turning his head to you, Taehyung watched how you nodded at him once. Gulping down, he started talking. “Our last dinner we had a few days ago didn’t went so well. I might have overreacted a little bit. I’m..“ he closed his eyes and tightened his fists, “I’m sorry, Mr. Byun.“

Looking up at Mr. Byun, you saw him smiling triumphantly. “That’s how you should do it, my dear friend, Taehuyng.“

Every word that was coming out of his most was making Taehyung’s blood boil without thinking about the consequences. Slowly, but surely, he was reaching his limit.

You watched how the man sitting in front of you drank his last gulps of water, holding the glass almost in front of your face. “Could one of you bring me water?“

Cursing inwardly at him, you forced another smile. “Ah, yes, of course.“

Searching for a waiter in the fancy restaurant, you turned your head from side to side. Taehyung, too, searched for one.

Seeing that nobody was anywhere near, Mr. Byun spoke up. “Taehyung, your assistant should pour me some water. I would love to drink the water poured by such a beautiful woman.“

Taehyung’s head snapped towards Mr. Byun in a blink of an eye, his jaw almost breaking from the way he was clenching it with such force.
The moment you realized that your Boss was ready to attack the shameless man, you intervened. Grabbing his arm, you stopped him immediately and spoke up. “I can do it!“

Standing up, you searched for a carafe, walking toward Mr. Byun’s side of the table and pouring it in his glass. Placing the glass on the table, you took a step away from him, ready to sit back down on your chair, but stopped when you felt his hand on your wrist. Yanking you down beside him, Mr. Byun wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled at you. “Thank you, sweetheart. Now why don’t you just sit here for the rest of the night and accompany me, hm?“

That was it, that was the last straw.

Without being able to understand what was happening, you were yanked away from Mr. Byun and soon, your Boss was punching the man in the face with his blood covered fists.

Immediately, you rushed forward and tried to stop your Boss, shouting in between his curses. “Mr. Kim! Sir, Please, don’t! Sir, stop! TAEHYUNG!“

Hearing his name coming out of your mouth for the first time, Taehyung stopped immediately. Grabbing your wrist, he turned to Mr. Byun and hissed. “If I see you ever again, I will kill you!“

With that, he walked out of the restaurant. “Mr. Kim! What do you think you’re doing?! What are we going to say to Chairman Kim now?! You’re father is going to-“

“He was literally harassing you, Y/N! I’ll kill that bastard!“

“Do you know how much I struggled to arrange this dinner, Sir?! I begged to so many people so that Mr. Byun would clear his schedule for tonight! You ruined everything!“

“What should I have done?! Should I have watched how that disrespectful bastard was harassing you in front of my eyes?!“

“For the sake of your company, yes, Sir! You know how important this project is-“

“NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, Y/N!“

Frozen, you looked at his face. “W-What?“

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t stand seeing him harass you like that! I don’t know why but whenever I see you near a man, I get angry and I have the urge to protect you!“

Blinking a few times, you asked hesitantly. “Mr. Kim, what are you talking about-“

“I think I’m in love with you, Y/N.“

Well, shit..

Golden Hour

Originally posted by tomshollandss

Tom let out a sigh of relief as he rounded the corner into the quieter section of the airport, away from the demanding paparazzi. There were fewer people here, all lost in their own worlds, wanting to get to their planes. He wasn’t famous to them, just another passer byer.

In front of him you talked to Harrison and Harry, unphased by the previous events that occurred not even five minutes ago. The screaming, the grabbing, the shoving. All calling for Tom, all needing to be seen, but he was only one man. Tom Holland loved his job, it was everything he ever dreamed of, but he was only human and the world refused to believe that.

When you noticed Tom had fallen behind you excused yourself from the conversation and slowed your pace until you and Tom were in the same rhythm side by side. You gently smiled at him earning a fake one in return.

You hated seeing him this way, but it had become a norm. He was an amazing actor, using his skill more off screen than on. Constantly putting on a show for everyone around him, smiling, laughing, taking everything thrown at him. He couldn’t falter, not even for a second, or the media would eat him alive. So the second he was behind closed doors he would come crumbling down and let the exhaustion take over. So it wasn’t uncommon that he would spend the day moping around in bed or be a little grumpier then was called for. He would apologize like crazy afterwards, wanting to be the perfect boyfriend for you but you would just curl up next to him and tell him that everything was okay. And every time it would throw him off guard expecting you to be mad but you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to be his girlfriend, you didn’t sign up from the perfect person the world made him be, you signed up for all the little imperfections that made him Tommy.

“Wow,” You grabbed his hand, catching his attention. “Look at that view.”

Behind the glass wall the sun kissed the horizon in an explosion of warm yellows and reds, turning the sky into a work of art. A plane could be seen in the distance, heat radiating into the atmosphere, rippling the sky around it like a pebble into a pond.

You didn’t travel nearly as much as Tom or Harrison, this was only your third time tagging along on one of his press tour locations, so you were sure he had seen this view hundreds of times but you wondered if he had ever really taken a second to just enjoy it.

“You know, they call this the golden hour in photography.” You glanced over at Tom whose tired eyes were soaking in the view. “It makes, like, the perfect photograph or something.”

“I can see why they’d call it that.” His voice was soft and low, worn out from all the use from earlier in the day.

“I can’t wait to see it again tomorrow.” You smiled. “And the day after that, aaaand the day after that. With you, in airports and hotels or wherever this crazy adventure takes us.” You swung your connected hands, trying to bring some energy back into the peaceful moment.  “So come on, Holland, lets get to our plane.”

You tugged at his hand, pulling him along. He kept stealing glances at the view, wanting to just stop time and enjoy this moment with you. Because if he was being honest with himself this was the first time he felt like he could breathe since he stared filming Spider-Man, all because you said ‘us’. He wasn’t on this adventure alone, you were right by his side, even when he was at his worst. Even when he rose his voice at the stupidest of things, or didn’t have any energy to go out on a date, or when he didn’t want anything to do with anyone, you were still there. Even if you were in different countries your face would pop up on his phone when he needed you the most. You were his golden hour, you were perfect.

“Will you marry me?” He tugged back on your hand, making you stop midsentence, talking about whatever book you were reading this week.

“What?” You asked, not hearing his quiet voice over your loud one. “Tom we can talk and walk, we gotta go, the plane is going to be taking off soon.” You tried to tug on his hand to make him move again but he stood his ground.

“Will you marry me?” He asked again. You furrowed your brows, confused. Without a second though he dropped down to one knee, holding your hand in his and that when everything started piecing together.

“I don’t have a ring, and I know this really isn’t the right place to be asking but fuck, (Y/N), I love you. And I really need you to say yes. Because the second we get off that plane I want to run to the closest church, or city hall or anywhere that will make you my wife. I can’t take another second of not knowing you are mine forever.” You watched him ramble on, tears prickling at your eyes.

In front of you, Harrison looked back to see what was taking you both so long to catch up. He slapped Harry’s arm, getting his attention.

“Yes.” Happiness spilling out of you in a form of a laugh. “Yes, I will marry you.” You were bouncing on the balls of your feet now, unable to control yourself. Tom stood up, a grin plastered across his face.

“Yeah?” He questioned, making sure one last time he heard you right.

“Yes.” You kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leaned into you, deepening the kiss before lifting you into the air and spinning around.  As he put you down, Harrison and Harry ran up behind you, wrapping you both into a hug before laughing and congratulating you.

And as promised, the second you got off the plane you had found the closest city hall.