i made something again i could just cry for joy now

the signs feeling intense anger

Every sign can reach the stage when the mind just ‘quits’, no matter how laid back they are. check mars and moon!


Aries: She feels no anger. She feels rage. The intensity, the strong, sometimes short but intense feeling of emotions was something she was familiar with, but what she did hate was the feeling of anger she could mostly never shake off. It was always there with her, she let her rage out and it seemed like an exploding volcano. All she saw was red, there was too much energy flowing inside her bones that she could not get rid off and so she let out her anger, and she did not care who would see her like that. ‘I am fire and you will get burned.’

Taurus: He was angry. Angry with the world, angry with this unsteadiness, angry with the fact, that he could not do anything to stop the current situation. Long, slim hands pulled him out of his nest and threw him hard on the ground. He flinched as a cold breeze came and took away all his warmth. “No, do not take everything away from me!!”, he screamed but the dark did not listen. Gritting his teeth he felt his temper raging, long horns started to grow out of his head and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling of losing himself. 

Gemini: Emotions were an construct. A map with a thousand of points, connected with each other by a small, small string. No there was a knot in the strings, there and there was nothing else he could do to untie them, to clear up this mess in his head. It was like the road for his thoughts was blocked and now everything just piled up. Irritated he shook his head, even communicating was hard and the knot in his head slowly transformed in his whole body. Then his mind just quit. Rash action. 

Cancer: She could not tame herself anymore, she got hotheaded again and knew the will easily fall in an tantrum again. Followed by this feeling of guilt: why me? Why this unfairness? Why the need to upset others and be upset? In the end a wave of intensity and sadness washed her away before she could get a hold of herself again. And getting back to the surface after being pulled down by the ocean would cost her a lot strength. Strength and a long time of swimming through these endless waters. 

Leo: “I do not like this”. It all started with the feeling of unfairness, adding a a little bit of hurt to the shattered self that lay on the ground. “I cannot let them now I am hurt! I will not allow them to touch me gain that deeply.” She opened her mouth and showed her long, sharp fangs. She roared. It was loud and vibrant. Whetting her claws she narrowed her yellow, fiery eyes. “Pray for yourself”, she whispered before sprinting to her prey. 

Virgo: The head was a like a working space. There were many files and papers he read, worked with, analysed, only to put them into a new file that was stored somewhere in his office. “Wh- what is this?” This certain piece of paper  was not like the others. Unreadable. Impossible to put somewhere, therefore it was just out of order. “I..I have the control..”, he said, his hands starting to shake. “I..I have the control over it…I have the control..”, he repeated unsteady before standing up and shredding the unknown paper. He started breathing hysterically, what was that? This brooding fear inside of him? “Control…”, he said one last time before shattering the mirror and flipping his precious work desk. 

Libra: These thoughts. These worries. These fears. She did not know what to do. How was she supposed to handle? “It is their fault!!”, she cried. But at the same time is was her own fault. She cried quietly, feeling like she wanted to let everything out, but couldn’t reveal herself, because everyone next door was sleeping. She did not want to disturb them with the mess of feelings. “I will ignore it. Swallow it.” But it was far too much to keep on pretending. She felt like being on fire, but she still smiled. A poisonous, deadly smile. Everyone should feel her poison sting inside their veins. 

Scorpio: His anger is intense. It’s like a thunderstorm with roaring thunder inside of him. His heart is beating and he wants to destroy, cry and scream. He wants to let out his darkest thoughts, he wants the world to feel his pain, transformed out of the bitterness. But in the end, he remains silent and waits till everyone left. He could hurt anyone right now, but he know it’ll be no good, knowing that he will destroy for sure if he demonstrates his power. So he balls his fists and closes his door. Outside of his bedroom you can her the thunder roaring. 

Sagittarius: ‘Do not stop me’, was all she thought. These feelings were caging her. No matter what she did to distract herself, the anger would haunt her after all, so the minute it became to much she snapped. She could be free spirited and joyous but deep emotions were something completely different, especially anger. Because she was not only the laughter of joy but indeed the stomp of a herd of wild horses swirling up dust as they made their way through the steppe. There was raw force and energy inside of her and that needed to get out, now. 

Capricorn: Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Now. But there was no way to get himself under control. There was this dam inside of his head that stopped this enormous river of feelings of overflowing. Now, there were little cracks in the once so strong concrete and each of them plainly showed the nerves he lost from time to time. He sat at his desk, swallowed and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the dam broke. The raging float of dark water swallowed him completely. 

Aquarius: She saw it often on other people. Anger. She watched them live it out, stomping with their feet, raging, screaming, shouting. Now? She felt it herself. “I know this, this familiar”, she explained to herself. But familiar did not mean good. She knew her temper tantrums for when she was young. She knew that destructiveness could be a part of it. “I do not want that. I will not.” Suddenly a dark, whispering voice talked to her: “You do not choose to be out of touch. You are not your own master.” She widened her eyes anxiously. And suddenly, it was like she was 7 again. 

Pisces: Anger? Anger, he felt it so deeply, anger and the need to cry out of frustration, he did not want to feel it anymore, the worst thing that ate him alive right now. So he grew bitter. “I can turn nasty”, he thought. “I will be the worst if you make me feel this again.” And so he did. So he became the feeling of anger and bitterness himself. As he looked in the mirror he couldn’t recognize himself anymore. Dark, red eyes starred at him, tears flowing. 

I looked through our conversations when we used to be on cloud nine and in love, these were the times you told me how lucky you are to have a girl like me, how thankful you are because you never received such love I was giving to you and whatever happens, you will never let me go. The words you said mean everything to me and it stabs my heart, realizing that these words mean nothing anymore. I can’t help myself but to cry my heart out till the sun has set. The pain is too heavy to bear, the love I believed to be true and different was gone. We used to be over the moon, but the present tells the opposite. This is stupid of me to say but, I won’t deny the fact that I miss you so much. I love you, I still do. But somehow, I’ve come with the thought that I can’t do anything anymore, I need to let you go because it’s the right thing to do. I’ve decided to finally move on and this would be the last time I would cry over you because there was nothing left to hold on to and I can’t hold on to something that doesn’t want to be held.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I was the reason why you let things end. I’m sorry for the terrible mistake I made, I never blamed you for deciding to end this because you were hurt and I understand. I only have myself to blame. But, I was hoping you would’ve understood, that I did it for us. I always feared the day would come, the day you will finally won’t take back the words you’ve said. I’m sorry for the other things that have hurt you, for the things that made you cry, jealous and mad. 


Thank you. I’m thankful that I met you because you have given me a temporary bliss. I laughed and smiled because of you. Somehow, you made me feel loved and beautiful in a short period of time. Thank you for the good days: the days we felt unstoppable like we’re flying high, when holding your hand felt like home, leaning on your shoulders made me feel secure and hearing your voice sound like the angels are singing. It was worth it, being loved and loving you. Thank you for making me realize how capable I am to love someone. You proved forever within a number of days. You were the greatest and worst thing ever happen to me. 


Goodbye. This will be the last time that I will write you a message, I’ll accept the fact that some things are meant to end, even though I used to believe that you won’t let that happen. I did everything I could to make you stay, but I guess your life no longer includes me because, you’re happy now and I can see that clearly. You already found a love that’s all the things ours couldn’t be. I hope you find overwhelming joy by her side, I hope she won’t hurt you and make you cry. I hope for the best for the both of you. It hurts but I’ve accepted the painful truth that I am just a distant memory now. I don’t regret loving you, but what I regret is that I let myself believe that this would last.


I won’t forget you and the memories, I will always keep you alive in my heart. I’ll just get used to not having you in my life anymore. Deep within my heart knows getting over you won’t be simple. I need to stop loving you so I can start loving myself again. You were a painful blessing, but you were also a great lesson. I guess you’re just another chapter of my life needed to end. I still and will pray for your safety and happiness even though I’m in pain right now, I still believe you deserve the best. I hope you find everything in her that you couldn’t find in me. You will always be my greatest love.

—  S.L // unsent last message
NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost




Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

Keep reading

Ball Chain & Satin

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: “Can you write a one shot where Bucky and Reader are getting married, but Bucky is scared. Angst or fluff, it’s up to you. Thanks!” Requested by Anonymous.

Word Count:1,391

Warnings: Language (probably)

A/N: I’m working on my requests, yay me! Oh boii, the fluff is strong :) Hope you’ll like it!

Originally posted by heartsandwheels

You were in front of the mirror, admiring your sleeveless satin wedding gown when someone knocked on the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

Grabbing a fistful of satin, you gathered up the skirt of your gown and moved closer to the door. You pressed your ear against the wood and heard him shuffling around on the other side of the door.

“Buck, what are you doing here? We’re not supposed to see each other before the ceremony.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“You’ll see me in an hour. Now, hush!”

Keep reading

His || Jungkook || 0.17

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13| 0.14 | 0.15 | 0.16 | 0.17 |

Keep reading

To Maggie Stiefvater - thank you

Dear @maggie-stiefvater,

A year ago this month, you replied to my ask about how you deal with the fact that your OCD will never go away. I wanted to tell you how much that reply​ means to me, even a year after you wrote it.

I cried when I got that response, and then laughed and literally went for a run around my neighborhood because I was so excited. I had been struggling for so long, and hearing from someone who understood - and who was my favorite author - was more amazing than I can tell you. I printed that reply out and hung it up on my wall beside my bed so that I can read it whenever I’m struggling.

And I went though a lot of struggles in the past year since you wrote that reply. I started seeking help for my OCD, and that involved a lot of unhelpful and even rude therapists and medications that made me sick and even more anxious than I already was. I lost my best friend. The social anxiety that accompanies my OCD got so bad I couldn’t even talk in school without almost having a panic attack. I almost quit school. I stopped writing because I couldn’t do it without my OCD making me hate every word I wrote. Even reading became hard because my brain was too stuck in a loop of obsessions to focus on what I was reading. I started having awful suicidal thoughts and urges to self harm. Every day, I wondered how I would make it to the next. If I would.

Your words - whether they be in the response you wrote to me, in your books, or what you’ve posted on tumblr - helped to give me hope. There were times that I’d lie on my bed crying with my Raven Cycle books next to me because they reminded me I wasn’t alone. I read about Gansey and his anxiety in BLLB and felt like someone understood. I read about Ronan in TDT and found enough hope that I, too, would survive the suicidal thoughts. In the midst of being extremely lonely, I read about all love and friendship between the characters and felt like I had a friend in them, too. Sometimes at night, I would take the response you wrote to me on tumblr down from my wall and read it to remind myself that I’d be okay. Sometimes it didn’t feel true. You said my OCD could be a super power, but at that time it just felt like it was trying to kill me.

Even though it didn’t feel true then, it feels true now. I kept working to find the right medication and therapist, and it worked. The suicidal thoughts began to fade. They only really come back when I’m having a bad day, and they’re much easier to control. I can sit at my computer and actually write. It’s still hard sometimes, but I’m finally finding joy in it - and the rest of life - again. Also, I’ve realized that when I’m not in the midst of being controlled by my OCD, I’m driven and can get a lot of work done quickly. I don’t think I would be this way if I didn’t have this disorder. That doesn’t mean I love having it - there are still times that it feels like torture - but it is slowly becoming something I can control and use instead of something that controls me. Sometimes it still feels like a curse, but now I’m starting to see that yes, sometimes it’s also a super power​.

So thank you. Thank you for that response and your books and your honesty. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for helping me choose to stay. - theletterem
I Want All of You

(A 12/23 Coda.)


After he got the phone call, Dean couldn’t have driven back to the Kelly’s house fast enough.  

Some part of him was sure that it was just some cruel, cosmic joke, that Cas couldn’t possibly actually be there, alive and waiting for him.  

They’d watched him die, watched the grace flash out of his eyes, seen the wings emblazoned on the ground.  Hell, they’d buried him.

Sure, they’d lost Cas before, but this seemed so final.  Dean had spent three days in depression, drinking his sorrows, thinking about how he’d never again get the chance to hear Castiel’s voice, wake up to those blue eyes looking down on him.

Thinking how he’d died without ever really knowing how Dean felt about him.  

But then, the phone rang, and Dean, predictably, ignored it.  

It rang three times before Dean bothered to pick up, grunting a tired, “Yeah, what?” into the receiver.

There was a brief pause before a deep, gravelly voice Dean never thought he’d hear again said, “Hello, Dean.”    



Dean found Cas asleep on the sofa, curled up like a shrimp.  Some generic reality show buzzed softly on the television set, illuminating the darkened room.

For a long moment, Dean just stared at him.  Only his bare feet and shock of dark hair protruded from the thin blanket he was wrapped in, his soft snore permeating throughout the otherwise quiet room.  

It couldn’t really be him.  It just couldn’t.

Gently, Dean reached out and let his fingers brush his shoulder, so gently that Cas didn’t even stir.  Beneath the blanket, the flesh was toned and warm, and distinctly human.  

Dean tentatively touched him again, this time more firmly, letting his hand rest there a moment.  

“Cas,” he whispered, shaking him gently.  “Hey, Cas.”

Cas awakened with a soft, startled snort, sitting up and rubbing his eyes in a way that reminded Dean of a sleepy kitten.  

Dean watched him in sheer awe, unable to believe this wasn’t a dream:  this was, most definitely, Cas.  His Cas. 

He blinked at him, squinting dazedly.  “…Dean?”  he inquired, voice still slurred from sleep.

Dean swallowed wetly.  “Yeah, it’s me, buddy.”  

The blanket pooled around Cas’s waist, and only then did Dean register Cas wasn’t wearing anything except for his boxers.  

Cas followed his eyes, then gathered the blankets up around him, abashedly.  “Apologies,” he murmured.  It was difficult to tell in the dim light, but he seemed to be blushing.  “My clothes are in the wash.  They have been…persistently dirty.”

Dean chuckled, but decided against telling Cas that a suit like that would be dry-clean only.  “No worries, man.  I’m just happy to see you.” 

Well, that was the understatement of the twenty-first century.  Dean realized belatedly his hands were on Castiel’s forearms, though whether they were trying to steady himself or Cas he really didn’t know.  He made no effort to remove them.

“So, you’re uh.  Sleeping,” Dean remarked, stupidly.  “Does that mean you’re low on grace, or…?”

Cas shook his head.  “No,” he said gravely.  “I’m human.  Completely, it would seem.  My grace was extinguished when Lucifer stabbed me.”

Dean blinked.  This couldn’t possibly be real, could it?  Cas was human, and it seemed to be permanent.  There’d be no more vanishing off to heaven, no more long, lonely nights wondering where he was.  Cas would be soft and warm and tangible now, possibly forever.  

It was a dream come true.  Dean was about to say something along the lines of “that’s amazing,” when he realized belatedly Cas was crying, his chest heaving in quiet, painful sobs.     

Dean scooted to sit beside him, never taking his hands off Castiel’s arms, afraid he’d disappear if he stopped touching him for one instant.  

“Cas, buddy, what’s the matter?”  he murmured, tipping his head to get a better view of his face.  “You’re alive, man.  We can finally go home.”

“But I’m a human again, Dean,”  he whispered.  “I’ll never be anything more than a burden to you now!”

Dean opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again, instead just wrapping the shaking form up in his arms.  God, it felt so good to be able to touch him again, to hold him again, soft and warm and alive. 

“You could never be a burden, baby,”  Dean murmured, not even questioning where the endearment came from.  He breathed in the smell of his mussed-up hair, still slightly damp from the shower and smelling like shampoo.  “You never were.  And it’s not gonna be like last time, either:  I’m gonna take real good care of you, okay?  I promise.”

Cas stubbornly pushed him away, still sniffling slightly and refusing to meet his eyes.  “I don’t want you to have to take care of me, Dean.  You owe me nothing.”

Undeterred, Dean scooted closer to him on the couch, putting a tentative hand on his knee.  “Well, I want to,” he said with certainty.  “And for the record, yeah, I do:  I owe you a hell of a lot, Cas.  You pulled me out of hell, saved me in every sense of the word.  And I don’t think I can live without you anymore.  Or at least, I sure as hell don’t wanna.”

Cas started to cry again, and Dean didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around his bare shoulders, rubbing them gently, making soft, soothing sounds until the tears finally stopped.

Part of him was sad that he’d ever made Cas feel so useless, that he couldn’t convey the indescribable joy of just having him in his life.  But another part, the larger part, couldn’t stop being happy that he was here again.

And that was all he needed.



That night, they lay in bed together, Dean gently, soothingly, stroking his fingers through his hair.  He hadn’t stopped touching Cas since he’d gotten back, and he didn’t plan on it, either.

“Dean, I was thinking,” said Cas, thoughtfully.  “I don’t believe hunting is a good career for me.”

Dean’s fingers momentarily stilled.  “No?”

Cas shook his head.  “I’ll continue to live in the bunker, of course, and I’d still join you on the occasional hunt, but I don’t believe I want it to be my primary career.  I think I’d like to do something else.”

“Oh, yeah?  Like what?”  Dean asked, more at ease now that Cas had confirmed he was going to keep living in the bunker. 

Cas rolled to face him, looking slightly up at him through long eyelashes.  “I think,” he said thoughtfully.  “That I’d like to be a professor.”

“A professor?”  Dean repeated, a little surprised by the assertion.  

Cas nodded.  “I have vast stores of knowledge from my long lifespan, and could easily relay enormous shares of it on history, theology, mythology, mathematics, physics, and/or combat strategies.  I also retain fluency in over 150 human languages, and have a significantly higher than average IQ,” he added modestly.  “I believe you and Sam would be able to forge me the appropriate credentials?”

Dean took a moment to process it:  he thought of Cas coming home in a sweater vest and glasses, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, all nerdy-hot.  He liked the image immensely.

“Yeah, baby,”  Dean grinned.  “I think we can.”

Cas smiled softly, internally relieved at the thought of being useful at something.  At being more than just a burden to his human family.

Sensing he was retreating back into his self-deprecating thoughts, Dean brushed a gentle thumb over his cheekbone.  “Hey,” he said, tipping Castiel’s chin up to face him, meeting his eyes fully.  “We’re gonna have a great life together, you hear?  Not normal, I tried that and I think it’s safe to say it ain’t either of our cup of tea, but it will be a great one.  I wanna marry you, Cas:  I wanna propose, with a ring and everything, and then have a classic hunter wedding.  Then I wanna take you on a long-ass honeymoon, somewhere warm and sunny, where we can do it on the beach, and maybe someday, we’ll even have kids.  I wanna have it all with you, Cas.  And then, someday, we’ll both kick it, and God-willing, we’ll spend eternity together in heaven, doin’ it like bunny rabbits.”

Cas’s eyes grew wider with each passing second, expression unreadable.  Three days ago, he wouldn’t have even considered spilling his heart like this.  But that was more than enough time to get a taste of what a missed opportunity would feel like, of the hollowness of losing Cas without him knowing how Dean felt.

Dean was never going to let that happen again, consequences be damned.      

After a moment of silence, Dean smirked – trying to hide how vulnerable the confession had left him – and added, “That is, if a gorgeous babe like you is okay with spending eternity with my sorry ass.”

Cas blinked, then nodded mutely, expression vaguely stunned.  

“Yes,” he said finally, voice barely a whisper.  “Oh, God, yes.”   


… 


The next morning, Dean woke up next to Cas for the very first time.

Up close, in the daylight, he could see the delicate stubble of his jaw, full lips chapped and slack with sleep.  He could see the dark fan of his eyelashes, the little lines between his eyebrows where they drew together when he was confused. 

Dean couldn’t stop staring.  Which, under most circumstances, might be considered the slightest bit creepy, but he figured turnabout was only fair play.  And besides, if a man couldn’t watch his back-from-the-dead boyfriend sleep – or fiance, rather – what was the world coming to?

Warmth bloomed in Dean’s chest.  He wasn’t sure how this had happened, or why.  He didn’t know how he was going to explain this to Sam, and he didn’t care.

All he knew was that Dean Winchester was one lucky bastard, and wanted to wake up next to this for the rest of his life, snoring and all.  

After a while, Castiel blinked open his eyes, blue and beautiful as a pool in summer.  He smiled softly, and Dean hoped he was thinking something close to the same thing.  

“Hello, Dean.” 

❝ I love you too, Jungkook. ❞

Plot: You’re an idol and you’re dating Jungkook. You show up at one of his fan sign and he says to everyone that you two are dating. 

Pairing: JungkookxReader 

Words count: 1,8k+

Genre: Fluff 

For anon, I hope you like it cutie! - M. 

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner! ♥

Deciding to go meet your boyfriend during a fan sign didn’t seem to be any more a great idea as at the beginning. The black mask covered your face and fortunately your eyes didn’t reveal much of who you were. Yet the feeling of being perpetually observed didn’t seem to disappear and so the anxiety increased to every minute that passed.  

But you haven’t seen Jungkook for weeks, and if that was the only way to change the situation, you’d be well-born to be discovered.  

“Next time I’ll close you in our room.” Your best friend muttered, as well as the leader of your group and the worst advocate in the world; making you smile amused from underneath the mask.  

“I didn’t ask you to come.. Then we repeated several times that we’re their fans, even if they discovered there I know hey couldn’t see anything strange… ”  

“YOU KNOW? I swear that if I read another article where they ship me and Taehyung I shoot myself. ”  

“What a bad thing Unnie…. In short, Taehyung is an incredible guy. ” You whispered in response, not understanding all that boredom towards that sweet and a little crazy boy. “Then he is also extremely beaut–”  

“But think of your boy!”  

“You Like him! That’s why you’re bored by the articles…. because you’re ashamed to talk to him. ”  

The slap that came soon after on your shoulder only made you entertain more, while patiently expected your turn to go to get the album signed.  

He was as beautiful as always but he seemed particularly cheerful that day, he could even not to bully his hyung and his smile could make you completely melt. It’s been seven months since you started to date and you’ve already figured out you were falling in love with him, but you were too intimidated and scared to confess your feelings. It was your first serious “relationship”, although not yet effective because he didn’t really ask you to be his girlfriend and you were both so young that you were afraid that he could run away in front of your confession.  

“Jungkook-oppa!” “Jungkook, you are beautiful!” “Jungkook I love you!”  

Keep reading

Best Friends?

peter parker x reader

warnings: cursing, fluff, kissing

word count: 1,539

“(Y/N)!” Peter waved his hands rapidly in front of you, “Mrs. Morris is going to flip out on you, you’ve already been caught twice today,” he shook his head at your actions.

You shook your head, laughing at yourself. “Damn it, i just can’t focus today, sorry petey!” You tried to focus on the board, giggling at your actions

You tended to zone out, or rather, truthfully, stare at your best friend, trying to figure out how to tell if he’s interested in you. Peter had been your closest companion just since forever. Forever meaning too long ago to remember exactly when.

Your ogling at Peter still continued through the class, but to your luck, you didn’t get caught.. again.

Mrs. Morris continued spewing on and on about the subject that you had completely let escape your mind,

As the bell rang, Peter stood from your table, pushing in his chair.

“(Y/N), what the hell is up with you today? are you okay, did something happen? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, i’m just worried,” His face filled with more and more concern with each word, “You never zone out in Morris’ class. Like ever,” he said.

You laughed shaking your head. “I really appreciate your concern, Peter, but i’m okay, I promise!” he raised his eyebrow in response, giving you that “Really?” look.

“Peter, I. am. perfectly. fine!” you said.

The smile that broke out upon his face made you want to kiss him in that very moment. He was the more considerate, adorable boy you’ve ever laid your eyes upon.

Your heart raced in your chest as the two of you discussed your plans for tonight, your daily movie night. It was usually spent on either his or your couch, watching the worst possible movies you guys could think of, just for the good shits and giggles of it all . Though, The Star Wars original trilogy was brought out every so often though, just because it was peters ultimate favorite, as well as yours.

“So my place tonight?” he asked, leaning forward towards you. “May won’t be home, out of town or something. You can spend the night if you want, i’ll take the couch.”

You nodded, grinning at him. “Sure, but i’ll take the couch Pete, it’s your place! i’ll be over at six, im bringin’ the popcorn, extra butter just how you like it!”

“God, extra butter? for me? You’re the best person in the whole damn world, (Y/N)” Peter said, mock excitement etched in his words.

You laughed, then kissed him on the cheek. “Just for you, Petey!”

His eyes widen, and you suddenly begin to realize what you did. You did that. You kissed Peter, fucking, Parker. On the cheek. For no reason.

You walked away, well more like ran, but you managed to take a glance at peter. He had the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen and his hand was placed on the exact spot where you had kissed him. He looked like the happiest man, but confused man alive.

You finally reached your home after a short walk,and began to search throughout your pantry for the extra buttery popcorn you purchased just for tonight.

The thoughts of the incident went through your head at a million miles a minute. We’re you supposed to act like nothing happened? He obviously looked happy about so, does he like you back??

Sitting the bag on the counter, you reach for your phone to text Peter, but are surprised at the fact he had already texted you.

“hey, (Y/N). you’re still coming over right? i thought we could bring out star wars tonight! :)”

You typed out your response, smiling at his text. He always brought a smile to your face.

“yep! admit it, you just want me for my popcorn.”

“Haha, no. I just want my best friend to come watch movies with me, but.. the popcorn is a bonus too.”

Laying the phone down on the counter, you made your way to your room to change into something much more comfortable than your current clothing as you were wearing jeans, which were the most uncomfortable pants ever compared to your pajama pants.

Before leaving, you sent your mom a text saying you were sleeping over at your friend Amelia’s house tonight. Your mom responded quickly with an okay

You left the house, making your way, walking fast in full on pajamas, and began your short walk to Peter’s.

The kiss was still on your mind with each and every step. Would he mention it? How would you respond if he did? Were you worrying for no reason? The more you thought about it, the more apprehensive you became, so you attempted to distract yourself as you walked

Reaching peters apartment, you knocked three times, followed shortly by Peter opening the door.

If it were anyone else, you would have felt very uncomfortable showing up in your pajamas at six in the evening, but it’s Peter, and he’s in his pajamas anyways.

“I’m afraid i can’t let you in.” He smirked, “Atleast not until you show me you brought the popcorn.”

You raised up the bag up and he dramatically sighed, allowing you to come in.

The two of you plopped down on the couch, and Peter began “A New Hope.” The Main Title began to play, and you didn’t appear to notice that Peter wasn’t paying to the movie at all, his eyes glued to you as you read the words on the screen with such excitement. Even if you’ve seen this movie dozens of times, you always looked beyond happy watching it.

Finally, halfway through the movie peter turned to you.

He nervously looked down, fumbling with hands, “Can I tell you something, (Y/N)?” He glanced up at you, “Something really, really important?”

A thousand thoughts flew through your head. Seeing Peter worried, or nervous made you worried or nervous. “Yes.” Your words were softly spoken.

He shook his head, a faint appearance of a grin on his face. “There’s this girl. This amazing, wonderful, smart, beautiful, hilarious, girl. I could go on and on about her,” He laughed looking down again.

You wanted to cry, you wanted to just curl over in a ball and and sob your heart out. But that wasn’t an option, not now. Peter was your friend, your closest friend, and you can’t force him to like you. Especially since he obviously adored this girl. This girl he hasn’t told you about. So, you tried your best to put on a believable face of happiness.

Peter continued his thoughts after you spoke. “I’ve been trying to talk to her, which i do on a daily basis so i don’t know why i’m acting like it’s so damn hard. I just want to tell her how i feel. But I can’t put into words how she makes me feel.” His eyes met yours, his gaze filled with love. “It’s you, (Y/N).”

“Peter,” You spoke, about to confess that you felt exactly the same, but he cut you off.

“I know, I know. We’re friends, but damn ever since you kissed my cheek today, i couldn’t get my mind off that one day possibly becoming a normal thing. I want to be with you, so much. I’ve tried to tell you so many times, but i couldn’t. I rather have you in my life as a friend over not having you at all, so i’m putting this all on the line telling you this, (Y/N). He returned his gaze to the ground, unable to make eye contact with you.

You grabbed his face, making him look up at you. Making his beautiful, brown eyes meet yours.

“Peter Parker, luckily,” You stroked his cheek gently as you leaned in closer. “I’m hopelessly in love with you.”

In that moment, you felt the most overpowering feeling of what you assumed to be love. You never wanted forget how this felt, this overwhelming feeling of adoration for this boy, your best friend. You wanted to feel like this for the rest of your life, forever. As The wave of affection consumed you, and you slowly leaned in.

You were nervous, and so was peter. The both of you were over the moon in joy that the feelings you felt were reciprocated.

Your lips met, and it felt so goddamn right. He leaned his head to left, and his hands met at your waist, pulling you closer to him, making it nearly impossible to get any closer to him. Your hands ran through his brown hair, the kiss being so full of passion, you felt as if you could do this forever. He deepened the kiss, making it feel like this was a just one giant fairytale kiss. You couldn’t describe exactly how wonderful and ethereal it all felt.

You guys’ began to realize that you needed to pull away, but Peters forehead remained against your own as you slowly opened your eyes.

While Panting, Peter began to speak. “Well in fact, I’m hopelessly in love with you, (Y/N).” He smirked, and you leaned in again.

“Whatever bug boy.”

Victor Nikiforov Appreciation Post!!!

I just want to take a moment and talk about how much I love Victor Nikiforov and how he’s just such a refreshing character. I know everyone and their dog has done a post like this already but I’ve been crying over this lovable goof for months and this had been sitting in my drafts for too long now anyway and also I’m avoiding my textbooks AND THIS SORTA TURNED INTO A CHARACTER ANALYSIS I’M SORRY.

So as far back as the PV, there were assumptions flying around that Victor would end up being an antagonist of some sort. That either he was using Yuuri for his own gain, or was just straight up evil. Laughable now, of course, but the reason those rumors were prevalent was because we see it so often. How easy was it to think that Victor was “helping” Yuuri only to further his own goals in the end? We’ve seen this common mentor-betrays-student trope before and it’s no wonder that early on fans were afraid of this even as the show progressed. And honestly? This would have made for some great drama—for Victor to turn out to not be such a nice guy and for him to eventually become someone Yuuri had to defeat in competition. However the show did not go down that route at all. It turns out that yeah, Victor is actually just a really nice guy who cares a great deal about Yuuri and the people around him. He doesn’t show up in Hasetsu with any evil ulterior motives—he just wants to get to know Yuuri and help him take his skating to the next level, and maybe find inspiration (and love) along the way.

Also how could a man with a heart-shaped smile be evil???

(Continued under the cut.)

Keep reading

Our Son

HIIII!!! Umm could I request a scenario where y/n has Jungkook’s child but he doesn’t want it and leaves y/n and y/n is all alone until Taehyung says he’ll take care of the y/n and the child and you fall in love with Taehyung and Jungkook Regrets it after the child is grown up… Its kinda long sorry!! BUT I LOVE YOUR BLOG❤❤💙💙💙❤💙

For anon

Here it is

Hope you like it

M

Originally posted by sugutie

Yet another test, another result. Unless they were all flawed, they were clearly saying that you were pregnant.
And it was a big deal. You were too young, you would have had to give up the University and mostly you did not know how your boyfriend would react.
Jungkook was as young as much as you are and you were always so careful. You could not figure out how it happened when memories of the night a few weeks before get into your mind.
You were so taken by the passion that you had given up the condom and that was the result; a completely unexpected pregnancy.
“Baby, you’re locked in the bathroom for nearly half an hour. Are you feeling okay?”
Jungkook’s voice jolted you and you quickly threw the tests in the trash near the sink, by covering them with a paper towel so as not to make them visible.
“Sorry, I was removing makeup. You know things for women, Kooks ” You apologized, coming out of the bathroom and smiling at him mildly; “What are you staring at?”
“You look pale. Are you sure you’re okay? ” He asked curiously, coming closer to you and brushed your cheek with your fingertips; “Don’t make me worry.”
“It’s okay, Kooks. Everything is fine. ”
And that was the first lie in a long line.

__________
Your lies were getting too many and it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the truth to Jungkook.
After making up some courage you had decided that that night you’d have said everything, hoping that he would have taken it good and above all being happy.
After initial shock, you had begun to accept that pregnancy more and more until you felt happy to bring one creature in your womb. It was the fruit of your love and what could be wrong with something so pure and beautiful?
“Kooks… Do you have two minutes? I need to talk to you. ” You began, sitting on the bed beside him, busy playing a video game that you didn’t know.
“Sure baby, talk to me.” He smiled and hope kept increasing in you.
“A few weeks ago I discovered something. Of course at first, I was scared… but I mean this is an amazing thing, believe me. ”
“Don’t keep me in suspense, tell me what’s going on, Jagi” He encouraged you, slipping on the mattress as he approached you; “Have you found to be the best of your course? Is your brother getting married? Have you won a vacation? Teeeeeeell me. ”
“I’m pregnant.” Your emotion was palpable in the tone of your voice and your gaze was bright, but Jungkook’s look made you freeze completely.
His smile had vanished, his eyes were wide with shock and his look was totally blank.
You immediately took his hand, stroking the backs with the pad of your thumb, waiting for the news to make way into his mind and the happiness you felt became his own.
“Kooks.. I know we’re you–”
“No, I don’t want it.” He immediately stopped you and those few words were a stab to your heart. There was no happiness in his eyes, only anger and you could feel it on your skin as he stared at you. “What you wanted to tell me, huh? I don’t want that son, Y/N, and you should think about your future, how it will be ruined by this child. ”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Yes, I do. We’re nineteen, we are kids ourselves. How are you going to raise him? Huh? ”
“Kooks…”
“No, I’m sorry but… It’s not what I want. ” He almost screamed as he rose from the bed, jostling you away and reaching the wardrobe.
You looked right at him while he was taking a duffle bag and started to throw in his clothes, without bothering to fold them and place them.
He was leaving you and just because you were pregnant, the idea itself disgusted you incredibly much and hurt you so much to leave you speechless.
“I’m sorry Y/N; but this is not the life I want. ”
“So you don’t assume your responsibilities?”
“I… I can’t do that, I’m sorry. ” He whispered, turning to look at you. You could understand his fear, but not his actions. You looked into his eyes for a moment and after that little moment he turned back again, taking the bag and leaving the room.
The sound of a door closing, shortly after, made it clear that he was gone. Forever.

___________

“Yah, Y/N … He’s a jerk, I’ve always said that. ” Taehyung said for the umpteenth time, while his arms welcomed you with joy and you were hiding among them.
It was in days you were in those conditions, struggling to eat, to sleep, that everything reminded you of him and it hurt you.
The only relief came from the presence of Taehyung, who tried in every way to help as best he could. He even volunteered to come with you to the check up that you had hoped to do with Jungkook, but all your hopes and dreams were completely blown away.
“How… How do I do it now? ”
“What does it mean? Do you want this baby? ”  
He asked earnestly, looking down at you and shifting a lock of your hair so he can see your eyes.
“Of course, Tae. ”
“All right, then fuck Jungkook. The only thing that you have to think about now is your health and the health of the baby ”
“I’m alone…”
“What am I? A Unicorn? ”
You heaved your face, upset by his attitude. He could not have really understood that if he wanted to help you during those months, he would have had to be close. It was too much to ask him and you did not want to ruin his life, it was the last thing that he deserved.
“Taehyung… I can’t ask you this. ”
“Listen, Y/N, you know me. I love children and you’re one of my dearest friends. Let me help you, I want to take care of both of you. ” He said, then giving you one of his brightest smiles. Tears pinched your eyes  (but not enough to make you cry, just smiling back.
He was there and for the first time in days, you did not feel alone anymore.

___________

“TAEHYUNG.”
“WHAT WHAT?” Taehyung screamed, running out of the kitchen with a fork full of food in his hand, looking upset.
“I THINK… I THINK IT’S TIME … ”
“I’M NOT READY Y/N, CAN’T HE WAIT?”
“ASK HIM!”
“SOOYOUNG, WHY YOU GOTTA GET NOW I’M EATING GOOD RAMEN?”
You, as a reply, threw against him the remote control while the umpteenth and violent contraction made you fold in two for the pain.
They had begun that morning but were mild and your gynecologist had made sure they were normal in calving.
“KIM TAEHYUNG!”
“OKAY, OKAY… WE’RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL, YOU … THE BAG, I GOT IT, ” Yet another scream as he ran to retrieve the bag, ready for days, for the hospital and came back to you. “ I HAVE TO TAKE YOU IN MY ARMS OR CAN YOU WALK? ”
“JUST GET YOUR ASS TAEHYUNG, IT HURTS TOO MUCH.”
You did not know what to expect, you were afraid that something could go wrong, that your little boy would be likely to hurt himself. A thousand thoughts invaded your mind but when Taehyung, without saying anything, took you into his arms and came running out of the house, all the negative thoughts vanished.
Your guardian angel was with you, nothing could go wrong.

_________

It was the most difficult and painful twelve hours of your life, but in the end, the little Sooyoung had seen the light. He was perfect, with already a bushy little of hair, powerful and clear voice so as to make the nurses laugh when he started to cry.
You were too dazed to figure out anything and you accepted willingly the anesthetic in order to rest for at least a few hours without the slightest pain.

“Sooyoung, you look exactly like your mom. Yes… You’ll become a beautiful little man. How about I wake her up? ”
A deep and full of sweetness voice woke you up and opening your eyes you laid your gaze on Taehyung, sitting in a chair beside you, holding your child in his arms.
“Hey.. Look who’s here. ” He muttered with sweetness, getting up and approaching you. Gently, he put Sooyoung into your arms and a swirl of emotions made you break down and cry, while you kissed and caressed with your lips that perfect and small face.
“He’s beautiful.”
“As his mom… I’ll leave you alone, you need some time to get to know him. ” He rose from his chair but immediately you gripped his wrist, blocking him from leave you alone.
“Stay.”
“But… I mean, I think you want to enjoy this time with your son. ”
“O-our son.” You faltered while he stared, caught off guard by your words. “Taehyung.. In these months you never left me alone and … I… Don’t go away. ”
“Why? Let me hear you say, Y/N ”.
“Because I fell in love with you, Tae.”

_____________

“Apppppppppppppppppppa!”
“Why is my champion screaming like that? What’s going on? ”

You were sitting on the couch, checking out some books to write the next chapter of your thesis, while Sooyoung kept running around the house chasing Taehyung. Their screaming did not bother you, indeed ,somehow, they helped you to stay more focused. After four years you were completely accustomed to their madness.

“Appa I want ice cream!”
“You have to ask mom.” Taehyung gave to you the “problem”, causing you to raise your eyes to heaven in a fake desperate way. Immediately the little Sooyoung jumped on the couch, holding onto your neck and stuffing your face with kisses.
He was a corruptor, just like his father.
“EOMMAAAAA, I WANT ICE CREAM” he screamed, pouting his lips as he always did Taehyung whenever he wanted to get something. “PLEAAAAAASE”.
“All right, let’s go get some ice cream.” You agreed, squeezing him softly in your arms and getting up off the couch completely ignoring your studies; “But when we finish the ice cream, we get back home.”
“YES, EOMMA!”
It was a day in June, the sun was high in the sky and the temperature was perfect. You were holding hands with Taehyung while Sooyoung was two steps ahead of you who hopped, unable to contain the enthusiasm that he was trying at that time.
“Sometimes I wonder if he’ll run out of his energies …” Taehyung whispered into your ear, making you smile and shake your head immediately; “But he’s so bea–”
His break concerned you right away, so your eyes returned to alight in front of you. And the reason why he had stopped was immediately clear to you.
Sooyoung was in front of Jungkook, the last person you wanted to see.  
Jungkook bowed to reach the cap that your son had lost and your looks have met.
“Your cap, kid.”
“Thank you! ” Sooyoung thanked him and you could see his toothless smile even though you were a few steps away from him.
“Sooyoung, come here. Let’s choose our ice cream, come ” Taehyung recalled the child without deigning to glance Jungkook. The little boy immediately turned and ran up taking his hand he was holding out.
They went into the ice-cream parlor, leaving you alone in front of your biggest regret and disappointment.
Jungkook came up to you, his hands in his jacket pocket, and a guilty look drew onto his face. He smiled but you did not smile back, remembering only at that moment how much pain he had inflicted on you.
“You’re looking good.”
“Thank you.” was your answer, totally icy.
“You and Taehyung, huh?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Already… He… What’s his name? ”
“It’s none of your business, Jungkook.” His smile faded away to your answer, but you did not felt sadness at seeing that look on his face. “Now I’ll go back to my son and my husband if you don’t mind.”
“I regretted my choice every day for the past four years, Y/N”.
“Jungkook… I don’t regret instead. Because I found a person a thousand times better than you, who didn’t leave me. On second thought, I just have to say thank you for abandoning me. Thanks to you, now I know what it’s like to be really happy. ”

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Perfect-Jughead Jones

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Description: Reader’s parents makes them question their relationship with Jughead (based on the song perfect by Ed Sheeran)

Warnings: You might cry tears of joy, I sure as heck did.

Disclaimer: I know other people have been writing songfics for Jughead with this song and not to be that salty bitch but it was mY FUCKIN IDEA BITCHES I SEE YOU ok now that I have that off my chest u can carry on srry


———————————————————–

“We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was.”

The first time I met Jughead Jones, I was 5 years old. We were in kindergarten, and he didn’t have any crayons, so I shared mine with him. He just stared at me when I had slid the pack in between our desks. I nodded towards the box and he took one, nodding back. Even though he didn’t say anything. I knew he was thankful.

We didn’t talk much until the third grade, when he was having trouble in school and I offered to help. Once again, I never got a thank you, but I didn’t mind. I knew he was thankful, even if he didn’t say it.

We were casual friends through elementary school, and in the 6th grade we rode the bus together. The first day of middle school, I spotted the boy in his oversized gray beanie sitting alone on the big yellow vehicle, a scowl on his face that I was almost convinced was permanent. He was alone in the very back seat, staring out the window. I immediately made my way to the back, plopping my tiny body right next to his. We looked funny together, me in my incredibly bright blue skirt and pink top, and him in his black clothes, but I had always thought we contrasted perfectly.

I sat by him every day, getting on the bus and smiling at him before silently doing my homework, and him staring out the window. Sometimes I tried to talk to him, but I never got a response.

One day, I had gotten on the bus before Jughead after school. Feeling particularly down that day, sat in a seat near the front alone. I set my bag on my lap, resting my chin in my hands and staring out the window sadly. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Jughead standing by my seat, a questioning look on his face. He jabbed a thumb towards the rear of the bus and held out his hand, and I smiled before taking his and letting him lead me to our seat in the back.

After that day, he spoke to me every time I saw him. He had told me about his hobbies, and what he liked to do. He told me about his mom and his dad, and his sister, and when I realized that there wasn’t really a lot he was comfortable telling me, I would tell him all about my life. Those days on the bus turned in to days spent with each other as much as we could in school, and then hanging out after school and on the weekends as well. Jughead was my best friend, and I was his.

“Well I found a girl, beautiful and sweet.
Oh I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.”

Fast forward to high school, and our friendship grew in to something more. Despite how different in personality the two of us were, somehow, we were attached to each other. The night Jason Blossom’s death became a homicide case, Jughead was knocking on my window, crawling in to my bedroom and hugging me tightly. He cried in to my shoulder, telling me how terrified he was. After I had told him he would be fine, he shook his head, telling me I was the only thing he was worried about. I cupped his face in my hands, pulling him down and kissing him softly. That was the night we got together.

We had been together as a couple for a few months now, although it felt like longer. The only thing that had really changed between us was that we kissed a lot more, and there was a little more PDA. We didn’t fight or disagree hardly ever, which was a relief for me, considering my parents did a lot. I was grateful my relationship with Jughead was smooth and unbreakable, because everything else around me always seemed to be falling apart.

It was the night before my birthday, and I was with my friends at Pop’s. I sat on the counter of the diner, Jughead sitting in the chair in front of me with his head laying against my leg. I played with the hair that stuck out of the front of his hat as our friends talked about school and other things. It was late, and I knew that I would have to be getting home soon, so I tapped Jughead’s shoulder. He moved his head and I hopped off the counter, smoothing out the front of my blue dress.

I said goodbye to my friend, giving them each a hug, before Jughead took my hand, leading me out the door. I looked up at my boyfriend, the ends of my lips curling in to a smile. I leaned my head against his shoulder as we walked towards my house, happy to be wrapped up in the bliss that was being with Jughead Jones.

But, of course, all good things come to an end, and soon enough I was in front of my house, my body feeling with dread. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to my mother and father have another screaming match, especially the night before my birthday. I gave Jughead a kiss goodnight, after he hugged me tightly and gave me a few words of encouragement.

I unlocked my front door, turning the knob and going inside. It was almost too quiet, the silence crawling up my spine and giving me unfriendly goosebumps. I saw the kitchen light on and headed towards the room, avoiding a picture frame and a vase that were shattered in the hallway and living room. I sucked in a breath, knowing that whatever happened tonight didn’t end well.

I stepped cautiously in to the kitchen, seeing my dad sat at the dining room table. His head was in his hands, his fingers tangled in to his hair.

“Dad?” I spoke softly, and I almost thought he didn’t her me until he raised his head and turned to look at me. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were wet with tears.

“Hey, sweetheart.” My dad sniffled, wiping away the tears that fell down his face and waving me over. I walked slowly to him, sitting down at the table. My dad took my hand, trying his best to smile at me.

“What happened?” I asked him. My dad tensed a bit, looking down at the hardwood table that his arms rested upon.

“Your mother and I got in to a fight tonight. A big one.” He started, stopping to take a deep breath.” And she thinks that things would be better if we were separated for a while.”

I knew that was coming. It had been a long time coming, to be honest. I wasn’t too surprised.

“Ok, where’s mom?” I asked, my head turning to look around the house, as if she would magically appear next to me at any moment.

“She, uh, she left.” My dad gulped, looking at me with sad eyes.

“Where’d she go?” I asked, my heart now breaking.

“I-I don’t know, kiddo, but look.” My dad turned his attention to me, full on.” We’re going to make the best of tomorrow, ok?” I nodded and my dad leaned over, wrapping an arm around me and hugging me.” I’m sorry that she did this, but I promise I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t ruin tomorrow.”

I hugged my dad goodnight, not really in the mood to talk about anything else, and went up to my room. I laid on my bed for a while, not having the emotional energy to do anything else. After a bit, I went and checked on my little sister, and went downstairs to check on my dad. I sighed, seeing him passed out on the couch. I couldn’t be in this house right now. I had to leave for a little bit.

I grabbed my jacket from the hanger by the door, shoving my phone and wallet in the pocket and slipping on my tennis shoes. I quietly opened the door and stepped out, hearing the door click softly. I locked the knob and stepped off my porch, walking down the driveway. I was on my way to Archie’s house, knowing that there was only one person I needed right now more than anything.

When I made it to Archie’s, I pulled out my phone, clicking on Jughead’s contact. I sent him a quick text and waited a few moments before seeing a shadow at Fred Andrew’s door, sneaking out the front door.

“What’s wrong?” Jughead immediately asked, his arms going around me.

“She left, Jughead. She just… left.” I spoke blankly, my chin resting against Jughead’s shoulder. Jughead pulled back, looking at me.

“Who?”

“My mom. She’s gone. She left town. Nobody knows when she’s coming back.” Saying it out loud made the whole situation hit me, and I started crying, sinking in to Jughead’s chest.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Jughead hugged me tightly. I sniffled, staining his jacket with my tears. Jughead’s hands ran up and down my back, calming me as best as he could.

After a few moments when I had stopped crying, Jughead took my hand and led me down the sidewalk. I leaned against his side, the side of my head resting against his bicep. We strolled down our neighborhood in a comfortable silence, and I felt a lot better now that I was with him. Something was bothering me though, and I knew exactly what it was.

I tugged on Jughead’s hand, leading him towards a bench while we passed by the city park. I sat down, Jughead sitting right beside me.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Honestly?” Jughead nodded.” I feel terrible.”

Jughead sighed sadly, his face softening at my words. His arm went around me, rubbing my shoulder tenderly. We sat in silence for a few moments before I finally spoke again.

“Are we going to end up like them?” I turned and looked at Jughead, who looked confused.
“Our parents. Are we going to end up like our parents?”

Silence.

Jughead’s hand stopped rubbing my shoulder, falling down my back. He looked away, biting at the inside of his cheek. After a minute, he looked back at me.

“Y/n, we aren’t our parents.”

“That doesn’t mean what happened to them won’t happen to us.” I pointed out, my hand moving away from Jughead’s thigh, where it had previously been resting.

“It won’t.”

“How do you know?” I argued, standing from the bench. I started to pace, trying to calm myself down. I didn’t want to fight with Jughead, but if I kept this up, that’s where things were going to head.

“Y/n, will you sit down please?” I turned to Jughead who was now standing, hands shoved in his pockets. He nodded his head towards the bench and I complied, walking back toward it and smoothing my dress against my legs as I sat.

“When we first met, we were in kindergarten.” Jughead began, standing in front of me.” You were the first kid to talk to me. All throughout elementary school, you would do nothing but show kindness to me, even though I hardly ever returned it. You never gave up on me, even following in to middle school. I had these walls built so high even at such a young age, but you were the first person to ever get through them. Now I can’t ever seem to imagine living a life without you.” Jughead paused, his hands moving in his pockets.

“I don’t deserve you. I honestly don’t. You keep me going, even when everything else around me feels like its falling apart. Everything I’ve been through, everything we’ve been through, you’ve stayed by my side the entire time.” I saw Jughead’s fist clench in his pocket and he exhaled, the cold air showing his breath flow from between his lips before disappearing.

“I was going to wait until, well, tomorrow to do this, but I think right now is better.” Jughead got down on one knee and my breath hitched in my throat. I felt my heart stop for a second before it began to race.

“I want to make a promise to you. I want to promise you that no matter what happens, I will never leave your side. I want to live my whole entire life with you. When I imagine what my future will be like, all I have to do is look in your eyes. I see you in every part of it. I want that. I want to live with you, I want to wake up next to you every day. I want to fall asleep next to you every night. I want to have kids with you, and grow old with you, and whatever else I do with my life, I just want it to be with you.” Jughead’s hand left his pocket, a small black velvet box now in the palm of his hand.

“I know we’re only kids still, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that I am truly, wholeheartedly in love with you, and that I want to share my entire life with you. If there’s only one thing that I can ever call mine in life, I want it to be your heart, and I want you to have mine.” Jughead lifted his other hand, opening the box. Inside was a ring, with a diamond on top, and two tiny round diamonds engraved in to the ring on either side.

“Your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you’re holding mine”

“I know we’re young, and we can’t really…get married for another year.” Jughead paused, exhaling quickly through his nose. “But what I’m asking is, when that time comes… Will you marry me?”

By now I had tears flowing down my cheeks, my mouth over my hand and unable to speak, so I furiously nodded my head to say yes. Jughead smiled brightly, taking my left hand in his and sliding the ring on to my finger. Jughead stood from the ground and I jumped up from the bench, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. Jughead’s arms went to my waist, lifting me and spinning me around once before setting me down and dipping his head down to kiss me.

“We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds”

When we broke apart, my hands went under my eyes, wiping the tears that had been falling down my face.

“Gosh, I probably look like a mess.” I laughed bitterly, and I was betting I was right. I hadn’t taken off my makeup when I left my house, and my hair was up in a messy bun, and there was probably black all under my eyes from my mascara.

Jughead cupped my face in his hands, the pads of his thumbs running against my cheeks.

“You look perfect.” He spoke, so soft that I almost didn’t even hear him, before leaning down and kissing me again.

“When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight”

February: The fall starts easy. I took baby aspirin, and a rusty spoon to my head, and smoked the stale weed my brother left in a broken vase before he left for college. Night comes fast, and tells the creation story. I ignore her this time. I don’t give a fuck about how I was made anymore tell me how I fall apart.

March: Nobody can ever find the raw spot on their leg until they start itching. I remember 6th grade when the mosquito bit my calf. Larvae and laps on the soccer field in early spring. He is oozing into my shoes with the mud.

April: My mother buried my rusty spoon, and took my brown hands. the clothesline was dripping carbonated orange soda sun, the wind was soft, the mice were sleeping warm beneath the floorboards; she spread my tarot on the floor with the forever broken and gnarled thumb she stuck in a blender when she was 5. That spring I walked home alone some nights, the heatwaves followed me like the labored breath of drunk men who don’t take no for an answer, I turned over The Devil and someone dropped a wine glass next door, she gasped, white eyes, the mice began to scrape and scream, the heatwave killed their children like it split my shoulders open and ate the youth inside.

May: The month of falling out of trees, junior high was gonna shipwreck any day now. There is a fast food place where the milkshakes taste like cough syrup and the skater kids cheat death on 3 feet of concrete stairs. There is a crack in the sidewalk in front of it, and he kick flips on it to break the back of the mother who left him at 13, he breeds violence between his fraying vans and then something in his ankle snaps, my oxygen goes tar black. He bleeds, he. Makes this sound. Like a dog when you step on its foot. I want to hold him, put a butterfly on his cheek, give him a band aid, something, God, something. He looks like he’s in pain. I want to. I don’t know. Help.

I walk away trembling and put my head between my knees behind a dumpster full of shitty milkshakes.

June: The neighbors fuck like rabbits while I’m trying to cry to joy division. I pray for a lightning strike. This type of poetry is for pretty girls, anyway.

July: my birthday flies into the glass of my bedroom window and breaks its neck. mom said the only things you can grow in summer that won’t die are grapefruit and hair, and I made a garden, I cut my chest open for Demeter each full moon. These locks were watered with gulf stream sea spray. I fed them bludgeoned daydreams. I threw my head against church doors trying to send Jesus some red flowers for his funeral, or maybe his birthday, doesn’t really matter, we celebrate both.

August: I got kicked out of high school knocking myself out on my desk. People carved hearts into the enamel, I carved my heart out of my chest and turned it in for my midterm. I slam dunked my skull into the bleachers on game day, and when the bleachers fell, into my history textbook, and when the book was mushy with blood, into the track field. I’m grinning ugly, dancing to the 80’s synth in an empty gym after homecoming, with a nosebleed dripping love songs down my yellow teeth, like words on old gravestones: here lies a moontoothed lover who will never rest in peace, every night she claws her grave and hears the call of western waves.

September: I’m high on concussion flavored car races in a stolen low rider, bluebirds fly in circles around my head after we crash, I wrote a song on a 5 dollar bill called blunt force trauma and it is about skater boys with broken noses, snarls of shaggy Jew fro his friends make fun of, and hands. that graze los angeles highways while he rides asphalt waves, slam his locker, and give the finger to the education system he keeps tripping over like untied shoelaces. he pricks those hands sewing together the lackluster parties private school kids throw. he puts his dewy rose bud lips to the jack daniels bottle, and kicks the drum kit over, gives it mouth to mouth, pump his fists into someone’s chest, gives it a pulse again. hands big enough to steal grapefruit with, the size of my swollen heart. I didn’t know it could get that big but he bumped into me, buzzing like a light saber, sky walking out of the grocery store with a grapefruit. with my heart.

October: do you have a girl do you? have a lover? Jupiter is orbiting around whatever this emotion is called, the rollercoaster one. when you look at me. We spend Halloween turning into werewolves at the library, you were moshing in the kids section, bleaching your hair in punk rock, I was banging my bruised and knuckleheaded love poems into a paperback copy of Romeo and Juliet, brushing my hair with broken glass. That was the first day the blood on our hands was not our own, she shushed us and we laughed. High on Shakespeare and Jupiter gas, we dug our fangs into the dewy decimal system. You ask me my name, I tell you, you smile. We had matching bruises and I floated home.

November: You make me. Feel. You make me feel like I can speak to snakes. You make me feel like my hips have a purpose besides balancing bins of laundry, and bowls of fruit. You make 17 stop feeling like a suicide note no one will read. you make me banshee scream and lick like fire against young pines, when you. dance. when you. kiss her, let her ride your double dutch hips, and your skateboard. She is a new coin, tangy on his numb tongue, and he tucks her in his pocket, his lucky penny. I’m the bubblegum he scrapes off his sneakers and throws into a storm drain.

December: I still cower into my pillow and smile a crooked smile, and go red at the cheeks, you. You put the red in my cheeks. I’m here, I’m exploding, why can’t you see me? Just put the bottle down, take your hand from your eyes, I won’t ask you what happened to your face, or how you got that scar, I will just like you and like you. we can buy angels wings in Hollywood, make an apartment out of crumpled homework pages at the bottoms of our dirty backpacks, we can drop out of high school, I will like you and dissect your sadness like frogs in freshman biology I am used to the rotting smell in your ribcage, I reek of it too. I will like you. until I know how to love you.

January: I switch schools, I cut my hair, bleach what little is left. It makes my mother unhappy, she thinks my spirit world is severing ties, she thinks my planets are discordant. I ask somebody back home about him, she says he dropped out and started working on cars.

I come down. Softly.

February (again, again, again): He was born to a rabbi and a beauty queen. I was born to a chemist, and a witch. Ammonia, bleach. Don’t mix them unless you want someone to die. Blood, adolescence, summer saltwater. Don’t mix them unless you want to make somebody wish they were dead.

—  2. a crush. and nothing more.
Witnessing a World Record - Hope & Legacy in Helsinki

I have so many thoughts and stories I want to share from the 2017 World Championships in Helsinki, but I’ll start with Yuzuru Hanyu’s world recording breaking free skate which is obviously the thing I want to talk about most! It’s been 3 days since the men’s free program and the excitement and joy still lingers and has definitely put me in a good mood even as I return to work (hopefully this will last all the way to WTT!). I have a lot to say on this so bear with me as this will be long.

After the men’s SP on Thursday I think many Yuzu fans that I met and spoke with were quite depressed and there were a lot of doom-and-gloom talks going on (would he even medal, will he take silver to Javi AGAIN, etc etc). The one thing we did say repeatedly in our conversations was that it wasn’t over yet, and that he still had a chance to win gold but he would probably need to be clean in order to do so, and that is exactly what he did.

The nervous feeling for the men’s free started up immediately after the pairs free program ended the night before, up until that point that day I was able to distract myself with the other competitions but at that point it felt imminent and real. That night in the hotel room I was stress eating instant noodles late at night (I guess Boyang likes to celebrate this way) while I wrapped up the Winnie-the-Pooh I got to toss on the ice, the gift I got for Yuzu, and wrote the card to go with it. After the SP I had stuck the little Yuzu buttons I had made on the Winnie-the-Pooh and held it as I went to sleep the next two nights, that thing really brought me some comfort over a couple of days. Each morning housekeeping would make our beds and place our Pooh bears neatly on the bed, I have to wonder what they thought of all the Poohs and toys in our hotel room!

That same night I was stress eating the noodles I remembered that I had brought a bag of Bourbon Lumonde snacks (from the “mou chotto” meme) that I happened to find at a local Daiso shop before I left home. Now, I’m not superstitious, but I had meant to eat one of the snacks before the SP for good luck - as if I was eating and making the bit that was lacking disappear. Sadly, I totally forget the bag in my hotel room the day of the SP because we left early to get a good seat to watch morning practice that day. Well, I remembered them that night and immediately dug them up and made my friend and I eat one each that night to eat away all doubts! I took the rest of the bag with me the day of the free and told my friends that we would eat ALL of the bag before Yuzu skated his free skate (and we did during the last ice resurfacing).

As the final group was preparing to get on the ice I grabbed my Hope and Legacy banner in preparation and my wrapped up Pooh bear to hold for support. As they did the skater intros Yuzu kept moving around to keep his body warm, he looked extremely focused. He started the warm-up with a nice 3Lz but then fell on a 3A which I’m sure made the audience stand on edge since he rarely fails to land his axels. Once warm-up ended I looked up at the seconds on the jumbotron to make sure he wasn’t in danger of having a time violation again, but he promptly took his place this time. Then the program began.

What happened over the next 4 minutes and 30 seconds was nothing short of magic. As he landed his 4Lo the cheers and applause erupted but were quickly silenced until he landed the following quad salchow to which we all erupted again. After each jump I would applaud as hard as I could, then quickly clutch the Pooh bear again. Once the triple flip was completed and we moved into the second half of the program it seemed like everyone in the arena held their breath as we waited for the 4S3T combo. When he landed the salchow and then the toe beautifully everyone cheered the loudest, as if we all knew this combo had plagued him in the free the entire season. The relief was short-lived as he set up for the 4T and the tension increased again, and then he proceeded to land the most beautiful 4T he’s done in the second half yet! I was stunned by how magnificent it was, but was still waiting for the axels. With each element being completed I felt the elation inside build and build, I could hardly believe what I was witnessing and I felt delirious. 

As Yuzu exited his spin to begin his choreographic sequence everyone started applauding and cheering and that intensified with his hydroblade and ina bauer up until the set up for the 3Lz where it went nearly silent. Once he landed the final lutz the audience went absolutely crazy! The applause and the cheers continued until the end of the program as nearly everyone got on their feet. I remember clapping like crazy and shouting non-stop, I was so excited I was waving my banner around and jumping up and down for who-knows how long after it was over. The girl beside me was so moved she was crying, after the program we looked at each other and gave each other a hug even though we had never spoken a word to each other the entire competition. The excitement was palpable, and the audience in Helsinki was so supportive for all skaters, it really felt as if this program and this skate unified the audience and we reacted as a collective as he showed us something unbelievable. It felt as if my entire body was charged, I knew that no one would be topping that free skate that night and just hoped that it would be enough to take the title.

My seat was just above the Kiss and Cry, as Yuzu stepped off the ice he gave a hug to Brian and to Tracy. Can I just say I loved seeing Tracy rink side during the entire competition? I know she’s usually busy doing commentary but I hope next season she finds the opportunity to be at the rink side and Kiss and Cry with her students, she does just as much as Brian does and I think the skaters also appreciate her presence. The scores were ready pretty quickly, and I knew we were in for a new world record, as the announcer enthusiastically proclaimed, “223.20 points,” the crowd exploded again. Also, looking at the protocols I think if Yuzu had skated later in the last group we would’ve seen higher GOE for his jumps. They were immaculate. I loved the reaction of all three in the Kiss and Cry - Brian smiling proudly, Yuzu looking up with his eyes wide then closed as he basked in joy in near tears, and Tracy who was calm and collected until the score registered with her and she looked on in disbelief.

I think after Yuzu’s performance I was in an incredibly good mood, everything and everyone’s programs seemed 10x more enjoyable, even the ice dance free afterward seemed more exciting. As each skater in the final group skated I checked on the real-time scores on the ISU site to see what score they needed in order to take the lead, and Yuzu’s scores held for the remainder of the night as we were treated to some other fantastic performances in the final group. When it came time for Javi to skate and I watched his program unfold I knew that Yuzu had succeeded and I couldn’t believe he was able to move from 5th to 1st in such a stunning fashion. I clapped so much and so hard I think I bruised my left hand since it hurt the next day.

As Javi’s scores were read and I noticed the final ranking of the podium I yelped for joy (sorry, Javi, I couldn’t help my honest reaction). Yuzu, Shoma, and Boyang had been the dream podium I told my friends I wanted at the very start of the season and I was in partial disbelief that it had actually happened. I was recording the medal ceremony, and as the audience stood for the Japanese national anthem the arena went silent. As the song began to play I could quietly hear the audience in the distance singing the lyrics together (I wonder if it’s audible in my fancam video?) and I just lost it.

I’m not Japanese, but the moment was so sweet, so unifying, and so gratifying that I had a brief flashback to the medal ceremony in Boston the year before which was the first competition I had ever attended. I had decided to go to Boston instead of Barcelona that season because it was within the US and I felt sure I’d be going to witness Yuzu reclaim his world title. The memory of the sad feeling and watching Yuzu go through the medal ceremony to receive the silver medal in Boston was so excruciating that I’ve never watched it again. Thinking back on that moment, with the voice of the audience singing the national anthem in my ear, and seeing Yuzu standing atop the podium the tears just started welling up in my eyes and I began to cry. Before my trip to Helsinki started I had told friends I had met in Boston that I hope no matter what I don’t end up crying during the gala again (Yuzu’s Requiem in Boston hit me hard). I don’t think I’ve ever cried from happiness before, but these were probably the best kind of happy tears. I wasn’t expecting to be moved so much but it came from a place of joy. It felt like we, and he, had been waiting so long for this moment to come. The journey to his second world title had seemed so long and full of obstacles. From Cup of China all the way to Worlds in Helsinki, the weight of it seemed to sink in and I couldn’t help crying. As I was recording with the tears in my eyes and my running nose, a kind Hartwall staffer came up to me and handed me a tissue in an act of kindness that warmed my heart (you may or may not hear my crying in the fancam…).

While I witnessed Yuzu’s perfect Ballade SP in Boston which nearly set a new world record, that experience and this felt very different. Perhaps it was the fact that we knew he had to fight in the free skate and be perfect to have a hope at winning the title that added to the drama and excitement of it. It also felt like there was a larger Japanese crowd in Helsinki than in Boston (Boston felt like more Americans and Canadians) and the audience in general was super supportive for all skaters. I was elated in Boston after the SP, and I had a similar elation here for the FS but it felt magnified ten times over. The entire free skate it felt as if the audience was one in supporting him - it’s a feeling I won’t forget and will treasure for a long time. After the medal ceremony a group of fans from the FB group met up in the concourse, there were hugs and high fives all around and no one could contain their excitement. It felt like we had witnessed the impossible! I’m so glad I decided to come to Worlds in Helsinki, I hadn’t decided on it until Skate Canada came around but I’m so glad I did as I would’ve missed out on a spectacular event and witnessing Yuzu set a new world record.

Another fun tidbit - after the medal ceremony Yuzu took a photo with Grishlan (I don’t think I’m spelling his name right) and then handed him his bouquet.

Anyway, I’ve rambled on for much longer than I anticipated. I’ll try to do write-ups of the other events and the rest of the men in the coming days. To all the fans I met in Helsinki, and to Yuzu and all the other skaters, thank you for making this an unforgettable experience.
2

Requested Anonymously


The Doctor hadn’t imagined that you wearing a skirt would bother him so much. That’s not to say that he didn’t like it. He did like it. That was the problem - he liked it too much. It wasn’t even that short of a skirt, either. There wasn’t anything overly sexy or promiscuous about it. That, he would have been able to ignore. He had been ignoring flaunted sexuality all his lives (it never failed to make him uncomfortable), and it came easily to him at this point. But you weren’t flaunting anything. You were in a tasteful, flowing skirt that cut off right at the knee. It flared out a bit whenever you turned, giving just the slightest tease of your lower thigh, but there was no inappropriate exposure. None at all. It was perfectly perfect. But the Doctor was scared of it.

“Wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?” he asked when you finally joined him in the console room. He immediately bit his tongue when he realized how he sounded, but… he really wanted to know why you were wearing that… thing. And heels. Oh, no, you were wearing heels. They weren’t especially tall and the wedge was hardly more than an inch, but this was more heel than he had ever seen you stand on.

You made a silly face at him in response, too accustomed to his non-ginger rudeness to be offended. “Is this alright for where we’re going? I’ll just change real quick if it’s not. I just never get to wear it.”

That’s right, you never got to wear it. (Forget the heels. Can’t run well in those, so they were out of the question.) The Doctor had never seen so much leg on you. You wore trousers, always, because you were smart enough to know that skirts were not for adventuring. Even in hot weather, though, you didn’t wear shorts. You just wore trousers with thinner material. Shorts were nice, but the idea of running through dense underbrush or stinging nettles or a bog with bare legs didn’t appeal to you, so you kept your legs safely covered. Until today.

Keep reading

Culture Shock part 4 (Jungkook angst) The end.

I don’t feel our love anymore.

Originally posted by jjks

Part one Part two Part three

Word count: 2k

Genre: Angst


“Where did you get my address?” you asked breathlessly.

“I had to do some digging,” he said simply, then held up a crumpled piece of paper. His hands were shaking. You squinted at the page and realized that it was your letter. You felt yourself blush, embarrassed to be confronted with your own sentimental words.

“Why did you send me this?” he demanded.

You blinked at him, trying to form an answer.

“I… I hoped it would bring you some kind of closure–”

“Bullshit,” he interrupted. “That is bullshit. If you wanted to give me closure you would have just apologized for your mistakes and wished me luck with my life. But you dug up the past. You said that you wished we had never split up. You saw me with my fiancée, you knew I wasn’t available. So don’t pretend that you sent this for selfless reasons.”

He didn’t move towards you. He was still standing outside, showing no intention of coming in, but you still flinched away from him. His words were so full of venom. He was so mad at you.

Fiancée.

You had imagined your reunion so many times. You always dreamt that you wouldn’t need words, he was just sweep you off your feet and kiss you, or throw his arms around you and let his embrace say everything that he couldn’t. You never imagined that he would be so disgusted by you.

Was he right? When you wrote the letter, you really had convinced yourself that it was for his benefit. That it would somehow help heal him, if he still held any resentment. But deep down, a small part of you knew that you had sent it for yourself. You wanted him to know that you were still here, still waiting for him.

Keep reading

One More Chance

<< Part one (heartbreaker)

Group: BTS

Pairing: V X READER

Requested: @morganschiebel and @madelinehatter982

Excerpt: ‘ “if he treated you like this do you think he deserves you?”

Genre: angst

Length: 2.2k

A/N: I’m so happy you enjoyed the first part enough to request more! I was actually going to leave it on a cliff hanger but I’m very happy how this turned out and hope you enjoy it as well!

Originally posted by pawjimin

The rain had turned into a storm that night, as you left the building standing with your bag, your hand clutching the jumper of your shirt as you tried to suppress the silent sobs that made your shoulders shake. The rain lessened as a cab drove past and you quickly hailed it, running to clamber into it as you recited the address for a friend’s apartment.

You clenched and unclenched your hands in a desperate bid to forget the vivid image that had been ingrained on your retina, Taehyung’s topless figure, his breath laboured as that girl’s mouth was on him. This time you couldn’t prevent the sob that escaped and the driver glanced into the mirror, before turning the music louder to make you feel less embarrassed.

The ride had always been a short one between apartments and you suddenly realised that all your friends were close to Taehyung, you had been friends together, long before you met Taehyung and then Jimin introduced him to the group and next thing you knew, this bubbly smiley boy had fit in perfectly. Then you had begun dating. Yoongi was usually awake at this time and you knew that if Jimin or Jeongguk had talked to him already this night was about to get rougher.

Keep reading

Ask me out already

Summary: you ask bucky out but he rejects you and Steve makes it his task to get him jealous.
Pairing: Bucky x reader (x Steve)
Request: by anon
A/n: I’m not really sure if this is how you wanted it but I hope you’ll like it anyway
Warning: fluff, a bit angst, jealousy, angry bucky, a bit sad reader, course words,…. That’s it I guess


Steve had this feeling. He knew Bucky loved you and he Also knew you loved bucky. But neither of you made a move on one another so all the hidden feelings stayed untold. But he had this feeling that something would happen.

You told him about your feelings for bucky when you and him were on a mission. It lasted longer than expected and you just felt like you had to tell someone. You couldn’t bottle it up anymore and in the end the anxiety got the best of you, making you walk over to Steve’s room with heavy breathing and telling him everything.
On that night you cried as much as never before. Not because you were sad though.
You were so relieved to be able to share all your feelings with someone and be able to talk about what’s keeping you up at night. And of course Steve would listen and he would understand. Steve always understood and he always helped and reassured. He always would be there no matter what.

Bucky told Steve about his feelings for you when he was drunk. That night was filled with drunk giggles and slurred singing until something seemed to bring bucky off. He became all serious, seeing it as the moment to get something off his chest but still considering it. Even if he was drunk he tried to decide for what would trouble him the less.
Steve knew he never would have told him in his sober state but bucky seemed to be an entirely different person when he was drunk. More open and a little softer. It was as if the alcohol gave him a touch 40s bucky back. It was nice but Steve understood that everything was different now and so, bucky had to be different too.
So when bucky blurted out about his love to you it left Steve speechless and wide eyed, looking at bucky in shock and surprise over his sudden outburst.

So now Steve knew about both of your feelings and it pained him to see you both now that he knew what was happening behind the facade.
Now that he knew, he didn’t miss one single glance anymore. Or a shared smile. Or sadness in (y/n) eyes when Bucky was an asshole and rejected her.
And it pained him even more that he knew he could do nothing to help any of you.


He knew when he saw you walking into the main room, so confident and happy, it took you hours to get to this. To look normal and not like you’d freak out any second. Steve sat on the couch watching your every step as you walked over to bucky who stood behind the kitchen isle, the three of them were the only ones in sight and you were thankful for that.

Your steps were fast yet cautious as you tried to make your way over to bucky in a steady manor, only once glancing over at Steve who was keeping his eyes on you in reassurance, signaling he’d be there if you needed him. You shot him a quick smile before reminding yourself of the fact that you were about to do what frightened you the most.

You stepped up and put your hand onto the counter, leaning over and supporting your weight on your arms as you smiled happily at bucky who stood in front of you with his head hanging low.
He looked up from his food to you for a brief second and broke into a smile before concentrating on his food again.
“Hey (y/n) what’s up?”
He asked you happily and in a joyful tone being really interested in your day which made you smile even wider.

“Ah nothing much I just came here to ask you something.” You beamed at him trying to prevent yourself from freaking out.


He looked up to you from his plate and took a bite from his sandwich, giving you a tight smile signaling you to go on.

“Uhm… so I was wondering if you’d maybe like to go out with me tonight?” You mumbled nervously as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt.
“Like having dinner or so” you continued quietly.


But when his eyes widened a bit and he took a quick glance over to Steve in shock, almost choking on his bite of food, you knew you had done a mistake.


He looked back at you, into your beautiful eyes. And he wished that those were the first thing he’d see when he wakes up and the last when he falls asleep. However ,he knew, he was never going to call those eyes his safe place. He was never going to feel like in heaven just by looking into the light of those shinning stars because he knew it was not fair. And he knew he couldn’t do this to you.


So he did what he had to, to protect your happiness and the joy in your being and he turned you down. Even if this is not what he wanted.
He wanted to kiss you. And hold you. And be there for you when you needed him. He wanted to go on a date with you. And he wanted to be with you but your glow of joy was more important than what he wanted and he did what he thought was right.


“Sorry (y/n), but I … don’t think I’d want to. Sorry”
And it pained him deeply to say those words aloud but his decision was made and he turned around leaving the room, not acknowledging your wide eyes or the sadness that took over your features when you tried to hold back the tears that brimmed in the corner of your eyes.


Steve was quick to surround you in a big hug pulling you close to him as you cried into his shoulder and held onto him tightly.
Steve looks over his shoulder in disappointment, the fiery anger burning in his eyes as he wanted to punch his best friend to make him regret what he had done.
But at the moment you were more important and so he concentrated on rocking you back and forth to calm you down.


After a minute your quiet sobs muted and you pulled away to look at Steve blankly, smiling a sad smile.
“Are you alright?” Steve questioned.
“Yeah” you smiled weakly “maybe some things should stay out of reach”
You wiped your tears away and Steve hugged you tightly one last time until you pulled away with a sad smile and started walking backwards and down the hall to your room.

Your plans for that night stayed simple. You didn’t want to even leave your room anymore as you went for Netflix and ice cream. However the person knocking on your door had different plans.
The sound pulled you out of your comfortable cushions and the mountain of blankets on your bed as you slowly strode over to your entrance.

You opened the door ,revealing your slumped and pale form that had been signed by the sobs and the tears.
You found Steve on the other side who was neatly dressed in a nice tux with his hair all done and he even had a rose bouquet which he handed to you before pulling you in for a hug.


You smiled into it before pulling away and taking in the roses.
“They’re beautiful, thank you Steve” you told him while putting them into a vase and still admiring them.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d like to go out with me tonight” he asked sheepishly before quickly continuing as he saw your wide eyes.
“Not as what you think” he rushed “just to make you happy and feel better, Bucky was an ass and I want you to stop crying over him” he added.

That made you cry, you smiled at him as the tears slipped down your cheeks. You couldn’t believe him. He was so sweet and carrying, such a wonderful person.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t want to make you cry”
He urged desperately, being confused as to why you’d be sad about his offer.


“Shut up and leave” you told him as you walked up to him and pushed him out of the door “I’ll be down in an hour” you smiled, giving him a kiss on his cheek and closing the door.

You went to get ready wearing a beautiful red dress matching your red lipstick. Your hair was in big curls, some of them pinned up and your make up was rather decent except the lipstick of course.
Your high heels were only the final touch up.
You were more than happy with how you looked, and the reflection in the mirror gave you new confidence.


The elevator doors opened and you stepped out and into the common room seeing Steve and tony sitting on the couch together.

You smiled over at Steve who shot up from his seat and walked over to you , a tight smile on his lips.
“You look beautiful” he said.


“Excuse me ?! Beautiful is a slight understatement, don’t you think?!” Tony exaggerated from his seat on the couch “damn (y/n)” he added with a whistle making you laugh with the slightest hint of a blush.


Just in that moment bucky stepped out of the hall seeing the three of you and his gaze immediately fell onto you.
He had to keep himself from staring, yeah he even had to keep his jaw from dropping.
He saw you and you were the most beautiful sight in the world. The most gorgeous thing he had ever seen, yet you were not looking like that for him. And once again he regretted what he had done. All he wanted to do was to shower you with compliments, to turn back the time and say yes to your invitation but he couldn’t and he had to life with it now.


However his eyes fell onto Steve who stood besides you and he had to frown in confusion at that, he walked further down into the room and let himself fall onto the couch next to tony, asking what was going on.

“Cap and Miss hotty here are going out on a date.” Tony said in a singsong voice like a teenager who was fangirling over something.

Bucky rolled his eyes at tonys nickname for you but as soon as the word ‘date’ left his lips, he went to look at Steve with a flame of hate burning in his eyes and a slow yet quiet growl leaving is throat.
However Steve avoided his gaze and so did you.
Both of you said your goodbyes to the men on the couch and stepped into the elevator, having tony shout a quick ‘have fun’ followed by a giggle after you which made Bucky’s stomach turn as he tried to stay calm.

Your night was amazing and you’d lie if you’d say that you wouldn’t do this again. You even almost forgot about bucky today which was pretty good.
It felt good to have something else in mind.

Steve Brought you to your door hugging you tightly and running his hand over your back in a reassuring manner.
“I hope you had a good night?” He asked as he pulled away to look at you.


“Yes ! It was great we definitely gotta do that again!” You squealed making Steve chuckle.
“Yeah but for now you go to sleep”
He insisted.

“Okaaaay” you groaned “thank you Steve , for everything” you said and said your goodbye to him.
He stood there for s second looking at your door with a smile being happy that he could make you happy. He didn’t notice bucky staring at him from across the hall as he stepped away from your door and made his way over to his own, entering his room with a content sigh.
Bucky however wasn’t content at all, he went to go back into his room and paced his living room in anger and disbelief.
Why would Steve do such a thing to him ?
Why would he betray bucky like this ?
It pained bucky deeply, the thought of Steve knowing about his feelings for you but nonetheless disregarding them.


Slowly enough Bucky’s anger faded and the sadness kicked in.
He slid down at his bedroom door with his head in his hands and desperation written all over his face as he tried not to cry.
He loved you, he seriously loved you and only in this moment he realized how much he really did.
It was something he never experienced before.
Something so big and powerful it overwhelmed him as he tried to make out how he could fix this mess in his mind.


The next day was pretty calm to all of you.
No one was really doing anything since it was lazy day and everybody was just excited for movie night, which came faster than expected.
It only felt like three hours until the sun set and took her leave and all the avengers gathered in the movie room.


You sat next to Steve. Bucky sat behind the two of you and everyone else was spread around the room.
The movie started playing and you snuggled into Steve’s side, not hearing the growl that escaped bucky as his eyes bored into Steve’s back.


Of course Steve didn’t notice anything and leaned into you, laying his cheek onto your head and stroking your arm before kissing your scalp.
Because he knew bucky sat behind him.

And as that happened bucky had enough, the anger shot right up and so did he, storming out of the room and slamming the door shut making you jump and turn around in your seat.


You skimmed the room and noticed bucky was missing, you made your way out to find him and see if everything was alright, leaving Steve behind with a happy and content smile.


You rounded the corner and stepped into the hallway of the living quarters, calling out Bucky’s name every now and then.


You knocked onto his door, letting yourself in when no answer came. You stepped into his room cautiously and very tense, not liking this whole situation.

As you rounded a corner your eyes fell almost out from the shock you felt.
There were shattered glass pieces all over the place, pictures laid on the ground and pillows were thrown around.


If it wasn’t for the fact that this was a room in the avengers tower you would’ve thought it was a burglar who made this mess but so, your worries just hit up and a knot formed in your stomach.

Just as you were about to call for someone you heard a loud crash and shattering glass in the bathroom.

You weight up your options but decided to make sure everything was alright anyway.
You stepped up to the door with a sigh , knocking on it and calling out Bucky’s name.


Again, there was no answer and you stepped into that room without a permission.


The room was filled with the heavy sents of different colognes, perfumes and other stuff leaving the air filled in thick and disgustingly heavy smell which made you want to throw up right there and then.


It brought tears to your eyes and made your throat go dry and hurt to which you responded with heavy coughs. You held onto your throat , trying to see something through your heavy tears as you tried not you step onto the glass that was lying around.

Suddenly you felt two strong arms around you, pulling you out of the room. Both of them brought you great comfort, even though one of them was cold and made shivers run down your spine, making you feel better instantly.

You were sat down onto a comfortable cushion seat and the two hands left your coughing form for a moment before returning and giving you s glass of water.
As the coughing stopped you were finally able to wipe away your tears.
And then you could finally see bucky sitting there infront of you, looking at you in worries with a deep frown on his face, his hands on your knees and his eyes staring into yours as he searched for any sign of discomfort or hurt.


You didn’t give him one and just looked back at him.
Your hand still on your chest as you breathed normally again.


“What were you doing” he finally asked in a soft voice, the worries still on his face.


“I could ask you the same thing, look around everything here his smashed and broken.”
You replied while looking around still a bit shocked.


“Yeah I know … but what did you want?”
He asked again.

“I wanted to see if you were okay since you just stormed out of the movie room…. Apparently your not” you said and he looked away from you in shame.
“Why did you do that?” You added.


“I got angry… and upset… An distraught….” He admitted in a low mumble still not looking at you.


Your right hand found its way to his cheek moving it softly so he had to look at you, and you looked at him with an intense glance before asking “why ?”

“Its nothing really” he said as he stood up and made his way over to the other side of the room to pick up some pillows from the floor.
His back facing you.


“Bucky , you smashed your whole room… its not nothing” you insisted, and he stopped his movements, hanging his head in shame again.
A sigh left his lips before he began to speak again.


“Its just… you and Steve… its … I want to have that with you… And I was such a big asshole and now I messed up.” He mumbled lowly with his back still to you, so he didn’t notice your eyes going wide.
“And won’t ever have that with you anymore, just because I fucked up…. And I’m sorry. I really am.”
He added just above a whisper as he fiddled with the pillow.

You didn’t know what to say, it was like a punch in the face and your mind clouded for a moment with your eyes still wide.
“So … ” you started in confusion “why did you say no to going to dinner with me then?” You questioned.


He sighed, blaming himself or everything once again. He made this whole mess.
“I just…” he started not really knowing which words to use, and then he finally turned around to look at you “I didn’t want you to have to put up with this okay ?” He said his voiced rushed and a little louder than before, mostly in blame and shame for himself.
“Because this does not only happen when I’m angry (y/n) this is me! This is exactly how it looks inside my mind…” he paused for a moment before adding in sad whisper “crushed… and fucked up… and messy”.

“ so you thought it would be best to break my heart and just pretend nothing happened? ” you asked sarcastically making him look at you wide eyed.

“God noo !! Its… look I am me, and you are you” he gestured to you and you shrugged “I have such a dark soul … and you shouldn’t let me dim your light with it.” He stated sadly.
“I’m not good for you” he added finally.


“That…. Is not true” you stated making him look at you as you stared back at him in anger.
“I don’t understand why you’d think that… you hurt me more with saying that right now, and with saying no, than you ever could with a gun.”
You told him and he snorted in disbelief.

“I was trying to protect you.” He urged.


With the anger now boiling inside of you, you stared at him fierce fully. “I can get by on my own”

And bucky scoffed a smile at how often he heard this sentence already in his life.

“You were just selfish” you argued in a rather low shout, it was definitely to quiet for the others to hear.
You stomped over to him with the anger still all over you. You punched his right arm pretty hard not caring if it hurt or not ,which it did.

He flinched away from you with a small grunt as his hand flew up to where you punched him as he looked at you wide eyed.
“You better ask me out James Buchanan Barnes”
You ordered while pointing your index finger at his chest and looking up to him angrily.


He flinched at his full name but didn’t say anything as he was shocked by your sudden demeanor.
You took that as your key to leave and so you stomped out of his room leaving him behind in shock.


Three days later he stood infront of your door, he’d been standing there for a couple of minutes now, he was just too afraid even though he didn’t know why.
Steve came by and saw the flowers in Bucky’s hand.


He patted his shoulder as he walked by shooting him a reassuring smile “about damn time pal”
He said and kept walking away.

Somehow this gave bucky comfort and confidence and he finally pulled himself together and knocked on your door.

You opened only a moment later and broke into the biggest smile of happiness bucky has ever seen, making him smile himself.
“About damn time” you said.

Bucky looked st you in disbelief “oh my god” he breathed, not believing what you said.


“What ?” you asked confused.

“Nothing” he said quickly “nothing” and he handed you the flowers asking you out on a date for dinner.

All time tag list@learisa , @sebbylover24 , @mytrueself , @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory , @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes , @basicwhiskeyprincesss , @juneau2005 , @olicia-leeshy , @0bookishlove0 , @artdolf-hipster , @marvelbase001 , @socially-unacceptable-h0e , @smol-flower-kiddo , @cjhoran-justme , @moomoomendes