i made phone calls

3

The way people in the North talk about you, you’re the greatest swordsman who ever walked.

i think i fell in love with you long before i realized
but come to think of it
how could i not?
after all of the late night conversations
and the times you were my shoulder to cry on
  after the hugs that felt like home
  and all of the times you were my hand to hold
  after the “good morning” and “good night” messages
  and all of the phone calls you made just to make sure i was okay
  after all of the times you made me laugh when it felt like i would never smile again
  and all of moments and memories we can never tell a soul
  maybe i didn’t even really fall for you
  i think i just woke up one day
  and i knew
  that you were the one who i wanted by my side
  through thick and thin
  for better or for worse
  it’s always been you
  and i hope it always will be you
—  Anonymous said: Can you write something about falling in love with your best friend?
(cc, 2017)
What’s up, it’s Alexei!

When Ngozi posted this picture yesterday of young post-draft Tater “trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English,” I thought, “You know, I could make a play fic out of that.” Which is what led to the following 2700+ words about Tater and his ESL tutor.

Many, many thanks to @ktheunready for being my Russian authenticity consultant and beta!


Georgia Martin stood at the back of the media scrum and watched Alexei Mashkov stumble his way through his post-draft interview, saw the way his fingers kneaded the brim of the brand-new Falconers’ cap he’d been handed for the initial official photos, saw the way his eyes widened and stayed intently glued to whoever was asking him a question, like he was afraid he’d miss some key bit of meaning if he blinked.

She pulled out her phone and made a call.

***

«No, Mama, I promise, my room is very nice. The family is very nice. Everything is very…»

«Let me guess, nice? »

Alexei sighed. «Yes.»

«You know I don’t doubt you, right, Alyosha? I’m not worried you can’t do this. You will be fine. But I know this is your first time to live in another country, with none of the boys from your teams here. It can be… hard, sometimes. I know.»

«Yeah, Mama, I know. You told me.»

«Are you telling me you’ve heard the stories of my youth too many times?» she asked in mock outrage.

«No, no!» he laughed. «Of course not.»

«Good. I should think not.» He could picture her face exactly, and it made him smile. «I’m glad your host family seems nice, Alyosha. I’m sure you will have many friends in no time.»

He flopped back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. «I hope so.»

«We’ll talk again soon. Love you, son.»

«Love you, too.»

He hung up and let his phone rest on his chest. He’d been to America before. He’d thought he’d known what it would be like, that it wouldn’t be so bad. Different, yes, but there would be so many interesting new things to see, and new teammates, and he certainly knew how to play hockey. What he had failed to take into account, apparently, was how exhausting it was to try to function in English all day. For a US hockey team, the Falconers’ roster was shockingly low on Russian players, so his host family was one of the French Canadian ones. To their credit, they did speak some Russian, but it was hardly enough to have a real conversation. Alexei felt like he’d been practically mute all day.

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hiii guys!! i always have too much time in my hands during the summer break and so I thought to myself,,,why not make a follow forever?? so here i am! making it! anyways! shout out to all you wonderful people for making my dash so amazing and making me smile and laugh everyday! I hope y’alls summer is going great and i hope y’all are staying hydrated in this freaking h e a t

ok so first i’d like to give a special shout out to Naghma aka @uniquely-mii!! although we have a six hour time difference, i just wanted to thank you for always being there for me and for simply being you! you’re honestly one of the best people i know (and one of my best friends on here:’)!) and i really enjoy talking to you! (i also love how we always talk in caps unless it’s something serious,,idk how that started but i love caps and it’s my aesthetics)hopefully one day soon our schedules will align and we’ll be able to skyPE once and for all:’)! i really hope we get to meet one day so i can finally give u the biggest hug in the world and so we can finally get to hang out! i love u so much and stay amazing (ps my rooster says hi:) ) xxx

also shout out to the LOUIS MAKES EVERYONE (?) gc aka my lovely wife becca, zoe , keri , america , and bella! idk what the question mark in a box that comes after “EVERYONE” bc as yall know, i still havent updated my phone so im left in the dark when it comes to those things rip (i should probably update my phone soon),,which brings me to my next point ! thank yall for putting up with my constant emphasizing “..” and me being ghost 78% of the time rip i still love u all tho and i hope we all get to meet each other some day:’) know that im always here for you all:’) stay cool guys xxx

#

@28tattt / @2016s / @18meets16 

A~D

@artlarrie /@acryliclypretentious / @adidasmodel / @agenderlouie / @aimhkink /@angelfaceharry / @anklelouis / @anotharrystyles / @adorlou / @acestyles/ @adidasemoji / @arieslarrie / @artangls / @andlouis / @arabellove/  @amazedlouis / @backtohazza / @backtohaz /@becauseoflouis / @boobearsrainbow /@bealwayskind / @bubblgumbitch / @b1ack7 / @bowtiebraces / @bangpayne/ @badboilouis /@boobearsheadband / @bottomlinsons / @babaoharry / @babyangelouis/ @bapcomeback /@bootyau /@birdcagedlourry / @blurberrys / @bakarah / @blueeyedboobear / @billiejeantee / @crownedlouis / @couldneverhurtusnow / @chopsouie / @coffeecuphaz /@curlyboots / @clingyharrry/ @concentrichearts / @cheshirelourry / @cheshirewink / @captain-harrys-fifth-nipple / @delicatelou /@dualouist / @dunkirkt / @drinking-to-supress-devotion / @darklarries / @daisyau /@dasyourfookinjobyoufookinloser 

E~I

@endit2k17/ @enviouslouis /@electroponce/@emojilucas / @fifalwt91/@footielou / @fancymylarry / @fookinglosah / @flowersuit/ @fackinglouis / @frootloup / @firepproof /@fightmecalum / @fkclou / @fellforlou/ @goldboothaz / @g-uttertrash/ @glrlalmighty / @guiltylouis / @given-a-chance/ @girlalmehty / @gayndsoft / @goodlouisvibes / @gothskirt /@harrytm / @harrysgrammyaward / @hazzasdaddy / @hazzaslittlebaby / @hilarryduff / @haztomlins / @harrysincerely / @harspray / @hedgehogandthefrog/ @highlightharry / @howgreenmetblue / @hazaesthetic / @haribohaz / @harrietrash / @hazite / @harryqstyles / @happpilystrong/ @harrustylinson / @harrehstvles / @hlbabes / @harryandlouisofficial / @hazztommo /@hoeswifi / @hsrainbow / @halfziam / @haroldtwerkin / @hickeystyles / @highforstylez / @hstylesofficial/ @hazah/ @infalliblelouis / @infinityropelouis / @iwanthazza/ @idolizedeyes / @iusedtobeabaker/@imnotsayingitwasyourfault/ @imetyouinthetoilette /@itslovestylinson / @ijustgotowisharder 

J~N

@jedilouis / @jeremykonx / @kingofpoplouis / @kiwibfs / @kissedhoran/ @larryhangover101 / @larriez / @larrytrashblr / @littlelilaclou / @louonharry / @louisankletat / @larryslut / @lovingmalik / @larrycollection / @louisonthebeach / @littleonelou / @louisprada / @louisleepy/ @larriespouses /@lordoflarries / @louieinc / @louis2k15 / @lourrydrunk / @larrytilltheam / @louisdiamandis / @louisvibes / @lostjams / @louis-rose / @louisovermyknee / @lhrry / @louis-william / @loverlylouis / @louievevo / @leedsloubear / @louiz / @louistomlinton/ @loumineerstyles / @loucasterrr / @louistinyfeet / @louisalmightyaf / @louly23 / @loubae / @louiis / @legaliselarrylove / @modellou / @methodharry / @morninhaz / @mutualfond / @memeharry / @muchclsr / @mezmirisingharry / @mlmharry / @meanhero / @nauticalhearts / @nouishumor / @niallhorgasms /@nauticaltattoos / @notjustlarryaf /@nahzouis / @nouisxtagram / @niam-stagram / @nuzzlenarry 

O~T

@ofbromances / @ourloueh / @officiallourry / @originalharry / @owlourry / @oopsoulmates / @okaytru / @officialhome / @peachybane / @princesslouis / @petty-larrie / @perfectionlouis / @punchmelarry / @peachino / @ropetat / @rendezvooz/ @rosedagger / @roseflowerlou / @roseskink / @saintlaurent / @starboylwt / @smallstyles / @smollou / @swthrtlou / @stylins0n-syndrome / @styalls / @strawlarrylemonade/ @sellarry / @seabluelou / @stogers / @sappyfic / @scrunchedharry / @starsofts / @softangel / @sameyeblue / @suntohismoon / @sweetscreature / @stylesx1d / @studyxrainbows / @sparklingtomlinson / @stripsyou/ @simzuniverse / @slowestdive / @sweethaerts/ @shadylarrie/ @snapcchat / @stylesbrasiltattoo / @singleloudies /@signedtimes / @soloutomlinson/ @teenytinytomlinsun / @tattoosfic / @tempolarrie-fix / @tinylarrie / @tigertat / @thegayankle / @takeherheartaway / @tomlinsonaoki / @twoghosts-harry / @tomlinviolence / @temporaryfixlouis /@tommoflower / @teenwolftomlinson / @turnupniall 

U~Z

@urfookinjob / @viplourry / @viveleharreh/ @vialarry /@viplouis​/@watsoninfinite / @wellingtondudes​ / @wolveslarries​/ @whiskfic​/ @wtfisalarry​ /@wonderflou​ / @whereszain​ / @wanklarry​ / @xeniangel​/ @xtoughx​ /@yourtouchmakesmeweak​ / @yealourry​ /@zarryaffection​ /@ziiams​ / @zaynalprobe​ / @zrearviewz​ 

once again thank you all for everything and following this mess™ of a blog! i may not talk to u all but i still love every single one of yall!! stay safe and have a fantastic summer!!

Ok kiddos let me explain you a thing right now:
If you are watching a video and the sound is clear, that video was staged.

You ever actually listen to the shit you record in your phone? You ever wonder why your home movies sound so terrible?

Let me let you in on a little filmmaker’s secret ok:
IF THE MICROPHONE IS MOUNTED TO THE CAMERA THEN THE AUDIO WILL PROBABLY SOUND LIKE SHIT.
IF YOU CANNOT ADJUST THE RECORDING VOLUME AT THE TIME OF RECORDING YOUR AUDIO WILL PROBABLY SOUND LIKE SHIT.

So the next time you see a video that seems horrible or awful or sweet oh what-fucking-ever, listen to it.

Cause if it looks windy and there’s no wind noise? It’s staged.

If the camera is about 20 ft from the subject yet sounds like the person is sitting right next to you? It’s staged.

Granted there are ways around this, but those require an actual crew. So if you’re watching a documentary that has an actual budget, then yeah sure it might not be staged (though that’s been known to happen in docs as well).

But if this video is being passed off as “candid” or surreptitious “phone” recording, just know it’s fake. It’s staged. There is only so much you can fix in post.

And my bartender Santa gave me an extra dose of Christmas cheer.

(warning: long story)

I’m a regular at a bar. I don’t have family, my room mate was out of town. So I went to the bar.

I was having a good night. Then this mother f*cker showed up.

Now this mother f*cker and I don’t have a lot of history in my mind. I was dating a girl three years ago. She cheated on me. I broke up with her. The whole relationship lasted all of a month. In my mind, that was the end of it. Shit happens, move on.

The person she cheated on me with, was this mother f*cker.

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The Accidental Husband

Part 1 - Breakups and Marriages

Fireman!Dean x Reader

A/N: This is an AU inspired by the namesake movie. It doesn’t follow the same storyline, just the main concept.

Summary: Dean gets dumped and apparently it’s all your fault. That’s why he and Charlie decide that a little payback is not gonna hurt and, if it does, well… then it’s just karma.

Word Count: 1800+

Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @why-do-you-want-my-user-name @daydreamingintheimpala @driverpicksthemuusic  @mysoul4dean @thing-you-do-with-that-thing  @amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498 @skymoonandstardust 

Originally posted by frozen-delight

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It was extra intense yesterday driving out to the country to drop Panda off at sleepaway camp for the first time knowing that at the same time nazis were rallying downtown and people I love were bravely going to face them. On the way home I stopped in the Super Supplements parking lot and cried for a little while. Then I made a phone call and received a phone call. Many crucially important things were discussed, in the many many hours I sat there talking and making the vitamin sellers suspicious, but the conclusion was:
It’s time for me to make my soft rock album.
And I have already assembled the perfect team of hit makers to help that be a reality.
(I don’t care if my songs ARE hits. I just want them to sound like Phil Collins and Peter Cetera had a baby.)
Also: Even when I am scared and talking about hopping the next boat to Galapagos I am still doing the work in some form or another, it just might not be the out in the streets kind. I will never stop fighting even when struggling with debilitating anxiety and/or chronic pain. I will never not RESIST. I hope that I can also empower some of you to rise up and maybe that will help make up for the days I am benched by lack of both backbone and knee cartilage.
Also: fuck nazis.

Dragons

This is going to be a long story. 

Some of you, those who have been following me for a while or seen me at conventions, know that I am *trying* to branch out into designing toys rather than just making them. There are a lot of reasons for this, primarily so that I have time: time to design new things, time to rest, time to do literally anything other than crochet delightful sea creatures - you get the gist. 

It’s not that I don’t love making things, I do. And I’m certainly not going to stop making things; I’m pretty sure I can’t, to be honest. But I have to admit that it would certainly be much easier on me, at least for my wrists, to have sewing machines do most of the work. 

So. The dragons. 

I finally made enough money to get a run of plushies made, and I decided to start with my red dragons as my first line. Dragons were one of my most popular items, but they were a lot of work to make, so I figured they would be perfect as plushies. 

I decided to go with Gann Memorials for my production. Now that I’ve already made my mistakes, I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I should never have partnered with Gann, but since nobody felt the need to tell me anything about them previous to my giving them quite a lot of money, that’s who I went with. I did have one person tell me that they were “skeevy”, but since she wouldn’t go into any detail or even use any other words to describe them, I assumed her issue was personal in nature and dismissed it. I wasn’t planning on spending time with these people, I reasoned, just entering into a business arrangement with them. I don’t care if they’re skeevy. I care if they’re competent. 

Well, now I know. 

We began in July of 2015, a year and a half ago. I made the initial phone call (which was grand, because I have social anxiety and calling people on the phone is one of my least favorite things to do). Chris Gann (hereafter Chris) was a genial guy, very much a salesman - but, since I was looking to buy things from him, that was pretty much what I was looking for. We set up an account for me. Promises were made, verbal assurances; they specialize in quick turnaround for orders, I’d have them in less than three months (assuming that I don’t take forever making alterations, of course), they have very high quality standards, et cetera. 

A few days later he set up a Basecamp account. Basecamp is an app for communication between people working on a project together. I can definitely recommend it; it works out beautifully for that precise thing. The account was started July 27. 

So far, so good. 

On August 11, he sent me the first sample images. They needed some tweaking, but I was starting to get excited. I made my recommendations and he went off to relay them to the production team. 

On August 19, he sent the second sample images. These were very close. I accepted this version:

Cute, right? I think it’s cute. Grumpy, but not off-putting; now that I have a little more experience under my belt, I can see where I would make further changes, but it’s still very cute.  

September 1: Chris tells me that the dragons will be shipped to me in October. 

September 7: Chris informs me that these guys are going to need tags. I hadn’t thought about that, but I whip up an acceptable tag design (it’s not great but it’ll work) and send it off to him two days later. I don’t hear back from him until October 2nd, when I ask for a shipping estimate; Chris assures me that they’ll ship by the end of the month. 

October 21: Chris asks me to approve the tag design that I had sent him. I’m a little confused, but I approve. The day after, I approve of the shipping mark and I start to get myself emotionally prepared to receive a large shipment of toys. 

October 29: I check up again on the time frame. Chris says he’ll ask. 

November 2: Chris says that they’ll be shipped by the end of the week. 

I want to point out here that Chris told me they would be *delivered* by the end of October, not shipped at the beginning of November. I’m a little unhappy with this, but you know, things happen. Whatever. I’ll probably shop around for the next line of plushies due to this delay; he hasn’t lost my business forever at this point, but neither has he pleased me to the point where I would go with his company again as a matter of course. 

November 5: Chris sends me pictures of the final product. There’s not much in the way of variation from what I had already approved, so I assume all is well. He also tells me that I’ll be getting extra product on their dime. I am pleased by the prospect, as that would mollify me about the delay. Unfortunately, it turns out not to be true. 

Novemter 18: I receive the boxes. I do not believe in putting things off, so I opened them immediately and went through my product, counting and sorting carefully. I am widely dismayed by what I find. 

I ordered 350 dragons. It’s a small order, in the way of these things, but it was what I could afford. I did receive exactly 350 dragons, but they were not what I had approved. Every aspect was correct and acceptable *except* the most important part of any mammal, toy or not: the face. In this case, the eyes. Of the whole order, 17 dragons had split seams (not a big deal, I’m handy with a needle and I understand that they underwent significant squishing in order to fit them into as few boxes as possible to make shipping affordable); 46 were correct, as in their eye placement and shape were in a range close to what I had approved of; and a whopping 286 of them had what I have to call drastically incorrect eye placement. Here’s what I mean: 

The eyelids are too low and placed at the wrong angle, making it look sleepy (still sellable, but not what I paid for). The eyelids are, by the way, glued into place. 

These eyes are totally wrong (and, may I remind you, glued into place, so I can’t fix it without cutting the eyes out completely). That’s just… wrong. 

This guy has to be my favorite. One eye is significantly larger than the other one and has been placed about a quarter inch higher; the eyelids are entirely wonky - and still glued into place. 

Dec 3: Chris tells me he is trying to work things out with the factory; I send him the above images for clarification. He says he may just have me keep what I received and he will replace the entire order on his dime. 

I am, at this point, entirely depressed. I feel like a failure. I have a certainty that this issue will not be corrected, and even if it is, it won’t be corrected in anything like a reasonable time scale. I feel that I have wasted a very large sum of money and way too much time and it makes me angry and hugely, vastly, deeply disappointed. 

January 5, 2016: Chris asks me if the appearance of the dragons I received is somehow different from the sample I approved. I wonder to myself if he has working eyeballs, or at least knows someone who does, but I respond in the affirmative and re-send all of the pictures, including the one I approved for reference. All of these pictures are still in the Basecamp account. All I have to do is scroll to look at these exact same pictures, but I send them again anyways. I also ask for honesty, here; if he’s not going to fix this, please at least have the decency to tell me about it so I can move on with my life and not have to expend my energy trying to get something done here. 

January 7: Chris takes umbrage at the notion that he might just possibly not bother to fix these glaring mistakes, as he is nothing if not forthright and good. I point out that the delivery took much, much longer than he had initially told me, and that the extra product that was supposed to be included with the shipment never showed up. 

January 8: Chris says that he  misspoke about me getting extras; there will not be another box forthcoming, he was mistaken about that. He does graciously allow me to keep the gigantic pile of unsellable, wasted material that they sent me, and promises that he’ll have the dragons remade at his expense and the issue with the eyes will definitely be fixed in the next batch. (This also turns out to be untrue.)

January 9: Chris tells me that the next batch will ship out after the Chinese New Year. This makes sense to me; holidays always mess up shipping times, and these are travelling across the planet, after all. I settle down and assume they’ll be here in six to eight weeks. 

April 20: This is more than six to eight weeks, you will notice. Chris tells me to expect a shipment some time late next month. I have given up on ever seeing these damn things. 

September 23: Chris sends new pictures for approval. It has been over a year since the first time I went through this process; I was told that I would have them in under three months. Over a year. I’ve moved to a different state by this point and yes, I was snippy. I pointed out that in the FIVE MONTHS since I last heard from him, my address had changed. 

I liked the new ones. These looked angrier. If I got dragons like these, I would be able to sell them in exchange for money. 

November 16: Chris asks me for my delivery address. Again. I ask if this indicates that they will be shipped soon, but there’s no response. 

January 10, 2017: Gene Gann, another employee of Gann Memorials, informs me that I should expect my shipment by mid-February. 

February 8: Gene asks me for my phone number, which I supply, so the shipper can get into contact with me to set up a delivery time. 

February 15: The shipper calls me. We set up a delivery time. 

February 17, 2017: I receive six boxes full of dragons. They have the same qualities of the first batch, only there are more of them this time. Four - I repeat, four - are correct, in that they match the above picture. A further 189 are in sellable condition, looking sleepy or disappointed rather than angry but otherwise having no defects. 27 have split seams, only three of which I bother fixing since the other 24 have devastatingly bizarre eye placement. 303 dragons go into boxes with glued-on, incorrectly placed, wrongly sized eyes. 

In the end, I’ve received a total of 243 dragons that are in a sellable condition. Only a small portion of those actually resemble what I ordered. 589 dragons can only be sold as misfits. I put some in grab bags, feeling guilty. I see them in trash cans at conventions and can’t really blame anyone. 218 dragons, which should have been sold at a profit to fund the next line, are utterly unusable. I have scrapped them and am using their stuffing to fill other projects. 

I am bitter about the entire thing. I am angry. I am never, ever going to do business with Gann Memorials again, nor will I recommend them to anyone, as I cannot with good conscience do so, because if they had an experience anything similar to mine I would be wracked with the most horrible guilt. 

I *am* going to try again. As tempting as it is to simply give up, to assume that there is something lacking about my character, that there is something about me that makes things like this happen, I won’t do it. I’m saving up for another line of plush toys. I am shopping around for a different company to work with. 

My hands are tired and my blood pressure is high, but I’m still going. 


(I want to put in a disclaimer that I am not assuming anything about the personal morality of Chris or Gene Gann. I do not want them attacked or thought of in any wrong way because of how all of this went down. This was a business deal, and sometimes they go sour. This could have been a series of misunderstandings, mistakes, communication errors, unfortunate events, what have you. I don’t know what’s going on in their lives. These are things that happened, and they will affect who I do business with going forward, but I don’t assume that these are bad people. I don’t think I could encourage anyone to have a business relationship with this company and these people, but if you want to have a beer with them, I’m sure they’re very nice.)

Emergency Family (Part 3)

“Is Christian hyung here yet?” Daamin burst into your bedroom. He usually knocked and waited for you to let him in but he was worried. It was close to bedtime, he didn’t want to go to bed without seeing him there. His first day of school happened to fall on a week when Christian was away. It was hard to do but Christian had fixed his schedule so he could come back the night before. He knew how much it meant to Daamin.

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Charm

He won’t look at her, just holds the jewellery box out.

“It’s- I thought you would like it,” he says quietly. “It’s- After what happened I wanted to, um, I mean, I thought I should… “

He shakes his head, rakes his free hand through his hair in frustration.  

Molly frowns, steps in closer to him. She takes the box from his hand but doesn’t open it, merely lays a hand on his arm and squeezes.

She’s more interested in him than she is in a gift.

“What is it, Sherlock?” she asks softly and to her surprise he turns to her. Looks her right in the eye. His movements are jerky. Sudden. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. He moves towards her slowly, as if afraid she’ll bolt, before haltingly reaching out. Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Slowly, hesitantly he lays his forehead on hers;  His hand stays at her cheek. His eyes flutter closed.

He puffs out a breath she can tell he’s been holding and suddenly Molly doesn’t know what to do.

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