i made it in like 10 minutes

i cant believe lance and keith looked at each other like this.. omg

just Dissociation™ things
  • *puts on music* “who the fuck put on this music”
  • getting startled by sounds you make yourself
  • “who is X” “we went over this four times already you know who they are”
  • *has memory of doing thing**thing is Not Done*
  • *has no memory of doing thing**thing is Done*
  • how??
  • did i really do this or did i just think really hard about doing it
  • i remember putting thing There but it is not There so i just made the whole thing up
  • “haha funny joke””i told that like ten minutes ago”
  • “how many songs are there between X and Y song on this playlist?”
  • 10. i missed ten whole songs
  • “i don’t need to write this down i can remember it” i am booboo the fool
  • when you lose control of like half your body like can you not??? i’m trying to move here
  • when you lose control right in the middle of something but you can’t stop, so you’re just on auto-pilot like “i hope no one notices i am a Fraud”
9

IM’S LIKE IT.

8

favorite  episode of season 3 ❊  2:10 du er over 18, sant?

control your hoes, is all i’m saying.

Why yes, we should ring up every item.

I used to be a front end manager for a large hardware chain in the Midwest. It was early in the day (around 9 am or so) and my head cashier had called in sick so I was already behind in a lot of ways. Luckily I had a girl scheduled who was a former head cashier who had left the company and came back as a full time cashier. We’ll call her Jenny. Jenny was smart and worked hard, she was always professional and was quick with a joke. I liked when she was scheduled to work with me.

Jenny was around 7 months pregnant (and had the most awful things said to her because she didn’t have a ring on her left hand, but that’s another story) and I had given her the phone while I was trying to accomplish various tasks to set up my day.

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Braids 💆

Originally posted by ohbabyyeah

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this! It’s the longest I’ve written on this blog and I’d really appreciate the feedback here  – I’m most likely doing a Part 2 depending on how you all like it. Enjoy :)

Harry loved family reunions.

Amongst the bickering cousins and lurid pitter-patter of children, he often found himself feeling at peace as his folks filled him in on all the stories he’s missed out on. He’d laugh about his jittery uncle who nearly burnt his eyebrows off from an old barbecue, nodding approvingly as his aunt gushes about her eight year old who’s just won the flashy new title of spelling bee champion. He likes the way they treat him too. With adoration in their eyes, resurrecting from the years they’ve watched him as a young boy (instead of the usual gaze of stardom he’s used to). He almost, if not, especially enjoys the way they admire his success, not as an ego-booster, but as a way of praising Anne for his upbringing, despite the major gossip that briefly tainted his mother’s name around her first divorce.

But even in a house packed with his most favourite people, he would always feel relatively exhausted from the length of the reunion, a full four days he’d reckoned. It was unfair really, he loved his crazy family, but he always felt like he had to put on his best face, never getting his usual dose of solitude to rejuvenate.

So when Harry first invited you to join him, he hadn’t quite expected you to be so patient with his family.

“Yes, he is very handsome,” you’d chuckle, “but we’re only friends.”

“You’re sweet, love, but I think this little girl wins the beauty contest, hmm?”

“Right, he is very good with kids.”

“M’only in uni, ma’am, so I’ve got a few good years before settling down.”

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8

I haven’t made memes in a while. I’ve been sick

But here’s a fresh batch of dank meme harvested like 10 minutes ago

Tip for any girls newer to the SB/ escort life

Do NOT let a man make you feel guilty for “acting like a prostitute”, I.e demanding compensation upfront. Ive had 3 situations in my life where the man didn’t pay me upfront, in cash. Each time he has a bogus ass reason, I.e. it makes it feel less genuine, he doesn’t like how the girls act after he pays them, etc…EACH of these 3 times (note I see men multiple times a week over the last 2 years…so, LOTS of experience)…I was cheated!!

1. I was a senior in college. This man sent an electronic bank payment while we were at the hotel. The payment WAS sent, but never went through, I.e the bank denied it the next business day. He never paid up.
2. The man (stupid me, thought I could trust him), said he’ll pay me after. Well after he suggested we go to the bar, then have another round. We go downstairs. I turn for one second, this motherfucker RUNS away.
3. The man convinced me that he’d give me $ after, which he did, but during the act, made me feel like I had to succumb to doing things I didn’t wanna do, so that I’d get paid. He ends up NOT using a condom against my demands and I had to take a plan B and actually considered filing a lawsuit for a long time. FUCK him. Really. I wish the worst on him.

I recently met with a man off SA who just refused to give it to me upfront. We legit argued for 10 minutes. He tried to kiss me as if I was there to play with his saggy azz and give in, I pushed him away and left. Honestly just typing these stories makes my blood boil so Ima stop right there.

Moral is. Of my 100s of tricks I’ve turned, never has it gone well when he refuses to compensate you upon your arrival. Stay safe ladies. Don’t let these disgusting delusional trouts finesse you. Learn from my mistakes. Xo

help me || jeff atkins

prompt: can you please write another 13 reasons why imagine? one with jeff atkins where you’re clays younger sister? + I know you have a lot of request so I don’t want to overwhelm you so you can ignore this you need to, but if you’re not could you do a Jeff Atkins imagine of being Clay’s twin sister who he has a massive crush on and Clay finds out and thinks it hilarious because Jeff needs his help with girls but then he actually helps him get his sister???

warnings: fluff !! nervous!jeff, light swearing

a/n: i love jeff and i thought i would be cool to combine both of these requests !! hope you enjoy ! like always requests are open and feedback is appreciated :) xx


You were Clay Jensen’s younger sister, twin sister be more specific. He was older than you by 10 minutes and he would always make ‘When I was your age.’ jokes which made you want to strangle him. But life wasn’t all bad, you were friends with Hannah, who always made jokes about you and your brother bring nerds. Then occasionally you would hang with your brother while he tutored the one and only, Jeff Atkins.

To say he was attractive would be an understatement. Jeff Atkins was a big ball of sunshine and he was adorable. You would sit a couple chairs down away from your brother when he tutored Jeff. You didn’t want to bother him, so you either listened to music, take naps, do homework or sometimes read. You remembered once Jeff helped your brother with Oh My Dollar Valentine’s. You overheard Jeff say, “Dude, why not just say you watch Lord of the Rings on repeat.”

“I don’t do that. Anymore.” You heard your brother say and you held in a laugh when both Tony and Jeff gave him looks. Then Tony chimed in, “You used to do that?” You scoff, “What do you mean used to? You still do it now.” You chimed in, looking up from your book. The three boys looking over at you, Clay looking at you wide-eyed. “Shut up Y/N!” Clay exclaimed, you shaking your head and laughing. “Who is that?” Jeff asked Clay looking back towards Clay.

“That would be my annoying twin sister, Y/N.” Clay answered, reading over his questionnaire. Jeff looked at your quiet figure, you had looked fascinated in the book you were reading. Jeff got up and walked over to you, sitting down across from you. “Hello there.” You greeted not looking up from your book. The thing was that you and Jeff never really spoke, it would just be an occasional “hello” and smile. “Hey Y/N. I’ve been wondering if you were gonna do the Valentine questionnaire thing?” Jeff asked, feeling himself get nervous with every word he spoke.

You looked away from your book and at him. “Um, not really. I would rather try and find my soulmate then let some algorithm and machine pair me up with someone.” You answered. “Why do you wanna know Atkins?” You ask, leaning towards him, curiosity in your voice. “I’m just curious, and because I’m helping your brother with his love life.” You give him a small smile, “well good luck, my brother’s love life is pretty small and sad.” You spoke quietly, trying not to let Clay hear. Jeff let out a chuckle, then got up. “Until our next talk Y/N.” Then he walked over and sat down next to Clay and their tutoring session continued.

Over a course of many weeks, you and Jeff had started talking more, leading to Jeff having a massive crush on you. It had gotten to the point where he would get nervous sitting near you. So Jeff being Jeff had confided to Clay. It was a normal day, Clay was tutoring Jeff but you weren’t there, you had gone with Hannah to Monet’s. Jeff decided this would be a perfect opportunity to ask about you. “Hey Clay, do you think you could help me?” Clay looked up from the textbook and nodded his head.

“There’s this girl I like and I don’t know how to talk to her or how to ask her out.” Clay was stunned for a moment. “Hold up, you, Jeff Atkins, is asking me, Clay Jensen, for relationship advice,” Jeff sighed at Clay’s words but let him continued. “This is amazing, who’s the lucky girl?” Clay asked and Jeff was nervous, once again. “Um, it’s Y/N.” Jeff answered quietly, hoping Clay wouldn’t be mad. “Really, my sister? But don’t worry, I’m not mad. You know what, I’ll help you Jeff.” Clay said with a smile and Jeff sighed in relief.

“So anything I should know?” Jeff asked. Clay told Jeff some of your interests but gave him some advice. “I know this is gonna sound cliche and shit but dude seriously, just be yourself. Y/N already likes you for who you are, you shouldn’t try and change yourself. Just be confident and ask her out, she’s at Monet’s right now. Go and ask her out now.” Jeff thought for a moment then gathered his things and got up.

Jeff headed out to Monet’s, he was practically running, hoping you hadn’t left yet. To his relief, you were sitting inside at the small circle table where Hannah usually sat. Hannah was nowhere to be seen so Jeff sat down in the seat across from you. “Hey Jeff.” You greeted with a smile. Jeff’s heart fluttered at your smile, which made him more nervous. “U-um, Y/N, I was w-wondering if you w-wanted to go o-out sometime?” Jeff ask causing you to giggle. “I would love to go out with you.” You answered, a huge grin appearing on Jeff’s face. “Wait, isn’t Clay suppose to be helping you right now?” You asked and Jeff nodded his head.

“I asked your brother for advice to asking you out.” Jeff said quietly. “Why wouldn’t you just ask me out?” You laugh, Jeff’s cheeks started to blush. “I really liked you! I get nervous around you!” He exclaimed, the two of you bursting into laughter. “You’re such a dork.” You smile. Jeff gives you a cheeky grin, “Only for you.”

anonymous asked:

do you have a recipe for this garlic rice? cos that sounds tasty

yep yep! here goes:

1. Cook some white rice. It can be jasmine rice, basmati rice…personally, i use kokuho rose Japanese rice. I have a rice cooker, which is a kitchen appliance blessed upon me by the food gods.
-If you have a rice cooker, use ½ cup of rice per person you’re making the rice for, and two times as much water (for example, i made some for three people, so i used 1.5 cups of rice and 3 cups water).
-If you don’t have a rice cooker, you can make it in a saucepan with the same rice-water ratio and cooking it 10-15 minutes on low heat covered with a lid.

2. Finely chop 1.5 tablespoons of garlic clove. Like, get as close to mincing it as you can with a knife.

3. Add 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil to a skillet pan. Put the stove on medium-low heat. 

4. Add the chopped garlic when you can smell the oil cooking. Cook the garlic until it’s a golden-brown color. Don’t cook it any longer or it will turn bitter.

5. Add the cooked white rice and stir for about 3 minutes until the garlic is mixed nicely with the rice.

6. Put that shit in a bowl and eat the hell out of it. have fun

While it still tastes delicious by itself, it’s also fantastic with a few other things. I always add:
-Chopped parsley
-Chopped scallion
(green onion…same thing)
-Finely-ground black pepper 
-Red chili flakes 
-A sunny-side-up egg 
-Some kind of chopped meat
(bacon is actually really good with it lol. although chicken, pork, and ham are also really good. if you can’t eat meat or don’t like meat, you can just leave it out)

Also here’s a photo of it to give you an idea of what it looks like:

By the way, this dish is called “sinangag” and is a common Filipino breakfast dish! my father taught me to make it after his travels in southeast Asia.

happy eatin’ yall

Fighting For Him - Smut

Originally posted by youarealwaysfirst

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Thomas/Reader
Words: 4,571
AN: @writing-obrien wanted Thomas and I always give her what she wants. Also thanks to her for also providing me with the plot and helping me figure it out. Special shout out to @celestial-writing cause she’s my child and she’s always encouraging me. And to my GC @sincerelystiles @dylan-ohbrien @ninja-stiles @thelittlestkitsune @girlmeetsworldedits @sabrinas-wolves @mf-despair-queen @rememberstilinski and @stilinski-jpeg cause they’re always encouraging and inspiring and I love them all a lot. 

This is just a lot of smut cause I am thirsty as fuckkkkkkkkk.



The moment you laid eyes on Thomas you knew you wanted him. It was an instant attraction. You gravitated towards him before you even realized your feet were moving, the second he stepped in the room. He seemed to feel the same, his whiskey eyes following your every movement. There was only one problem. Brenda.

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