No, this one is not BTS related, but I can’t help myself from making this one.
I think I’m PMSing and about to start my period and that’s why I’ve been so annoyed and making rants lately.
Now, I know things can’t be 100% accurate, and I’m not directing this towards any one specific person except Stephanie Meyer since this pet peeve started with Twilight
If you are going to write about a certain topic, or include something in your writing, please do at least a minimal amount of research.
The amount of people who will write about something they know nothing about, and refuse to google it saddens me.
This goes for multiple topics.
As a child development major, this irks me more than it does most people, and as I said, I know things can’t be 100% accurate, and that since not everyone studies child development, there are things they can’t know, but there are somethings that’s just common sense.
Like it’s common sense that a 4 year old will not still be teething.
It’s common sense that a 2 month old will not be sitting up on their own.
It’s common sense that a 1 and a half year old will not be speaking in full grammatically correct sentences.
Onto pregnancy, why does everyone seem to think that you find out the sex of the baby on the first doctor’s appointment? Like, no. The genitalia begin to form at 6 weeks and aren’t finished until 14 weeks. The majority of people have their first appointment during that time frame, meaning it’s impossible to know anyway.
Also, morning sickness does not only happen in the morning, it’s just more common. The amount of times I’ve seen people writing fics about pregnancy, only for something to be wrong with the girl, and when someone questions her she says it’s just morning sickness, “but it’s not the morning”, please stop that.
Also, people will write about a bump at 2 months. If it’s the first pregnancy, like how it is in most fics, a bump usually won’t form until the 2nd trimester, which is 4 or 5 months. Maybe 3 months in some women, but not 2 months.
Okay, say it with me: the butt hole is not a vagina
The amount of gay smut where they talk about how “wet” the hole is getting when there is no lube or saliva involved, or the amount that says it’s painless without any lubrication. I’m a heterosexual female and even I know that’s not how it works.
Second, girls do not orgasm the same way guys do
A female orgasm is an overwhelming feeling of pleasure followed by sensitivity. There is no “flow of juices” and certainly no “white substance dripping down her thighs”. When “juices” do come out of her, that is called squirting, and only happens very rarely, some women never being able to at all. And after a women squirts, she can be very dehydrated and exhausted, and definitely not ready to go a second round, like described in quite a few fics. There are some women who can squirt quite often, however, they are in the vast minority, and therefore it should not be included in every. single. fanfic. Rarely do I see a fic that accurately describes a female orgasm.
This one really hits home to me, and quite a few others, as I suffer from mental illness, and have for years.
I would really appreciate if the people who don’t have a mental illness, but choose to write about it would do adequate research about the mental illness they have chosen.
I could go on about all the mistakes people have made about many mental illnesses, but I’ll focus on anxiety right now as that’s what I have and is the most common mental illness since it comes in many varieties.
The one that I notice the most is the misrepresentation of Social Anxiety.
In most of the fics I have read that have incorporated Social Anxiety, they always describe it as feeling uncomfortable around strangers, but it is way more than that.
Social Anxiety is:
constantly feeling like everyone in the room is watching you and scrutinizing your every movement
not being able to eat at someone’s house or at a party because your stomach hurts so much that the thought of food makes you want to throw up
wanting to cry when you’re forced to sit close to people you don’t know
being almost 20 years old and not being able to order for yourself at a restaurant
thinking that sitting alone in the car is a better option than having to go inside a place you’ve never been
It is so much more than being uncomfortable around people you don’t know. The feeling I get can’t even be described using the word “uncomfortable”. If you are not actually having anxiety over the situation, it is not anxiety.
Another thing that people don’t research with this is how you get diagnosed. I always see it described as they went to their normal doctor the second they started to have issues, told them they had it, and they automatically get a prescription for medication, and they’re done in 10 minutes. That is not how it happens.
I had been living with anxiety for at least 5 years before ever even going to be formally diagnosed. I didn’t bother with telling my mom I thought I needed more help than just her, who also has anxiety, until after I was tempted to remove the blades from my razor and slit my wrist to where they couldn’t sew it back up.
I had to have suicidal thoughts before realizing “woah I need help”. After that, my mom had to make an appointment at a psychological assessment center, not my regular doctor. That first appointment, it was me, my mom, and a therapist. There was no official diagnosis of that. All it was was the three of us talking, with me and my mom telling her about the struggles I had been having, how long it had been happening, how it gradually got worse, and so on. Then she gave my mom a questionnaire to fill out about what she has observed about me, and gave me one to give to one of my teachers at school to fill out.
A week later, I went back and spent two hours being tested in different ways. They varied from “what do you see when you look at this picture” to testing my memory skills. Two hours. And that wasn’t even the day I was diagnosed.
My mom and I went back a week after that to meet with the therapist, and that’s where she gave me the official diagnosis, the degree it was to, and then discussed treatment options. Then she had to send my regular doctor the results so that she could write a prescription.
It was two more weeks before my doctor got around to it and I was able to start on medication.
It is way more than “oh I’ve been feeling this way”, “okay, here’s some pills to pop”.
If you’re going to write about a mental illness without having it, then at least have the courtesy to research it.
Then comes to the idea that it can be cured and one day they won’t have it anymore. I don’t know how many fics I’ve read where it ends with a completely happy ending in the main character no longer has the mental illness.
That is complete and utter bullshit. Mental illnesses are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, and those can’t be fixed easily. There is no “cure”, you just get to the point where you can handle it better. There are people with depression who can go years without and episode, then wake up one day with no motivation to even roll over in bed. My mom has some of the worst social anxiety, yet she’s a hair stylist, meaning she has to constantly be around and talk to people she doesn’t know. She has overcome her illness enough that it doesn’t get in the way of her job, but she’s still on medication and she almost had a panic attack when she had to walk me up on stage for the Senior Walk at my final orchestra concert.
Mental illnesses do not have a cure. You just get better at being able to live without them getting in your way.
There are a few authors and works out there that do a great job of trying to be accurate in the topics they write about, but they are sadly outnumbered by the people who just do not care.
So please, if you read this and want to write a fanfic or regular fic about a topic you’re not to sure about, please do at least a minimal amount of research before rather than bullshitting it like Stephanie Meyer did when she decided to write about vampires.
Harry adored his job. He really did. His work was his first love, he always said. But there were certainly days where it all got to be a little too much.
He woke up at six in the morning to be greeted by a rainy and foggy sky outside. He spent a good ten minutes gazing at the great love of his life, her hair splayed in all different directions from having forgotten to tie it up in a ponytail like she usually did. Her lips were slightly parted, and her eyes were still puffy from the night before. He exhaled a sigh at the memory of it—it was the first time they’d really fought in a little while, but it’d been a doozy. Exhaustion took it’s toll on the both of them, but they were both too stubborn to admit it. It had been over something petty that he wasn’t even angry about anymore, even though at the moment in all seemed so important. And even though they tried to never go to bed angry, their tired eyes beat out the need to make up.
He exhaled a soft sigh as he watched his love, and he could see the tension built up in her features still from last night. He didn’t want to wake her just yet, because he knew that she would not love being woken up at six in the morning if she didn’t need to get up. The two of them rarely ever got a good night’s sleep anymore, and he didn’t want to take away her rest.
He got himself out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, going about his morning routine as quietly as possible as to not wake his girls. Within half an hour he was dressed up in a pair of black jeans and one of his button-ups. Usually he wouldn’t get so dolled up to go out this early, but he had a few morning radio shows he was making a live guest appearance on and impressions mattered to him. Having decided to get breakfast on the way to work, he quickly slipped out of the house without making a sound.
Prompt: Steve doesn’t know where they come from, and he isn’t exactly sure why they’re there. All he knows is that his body is littered in bruises, and there’s something different about them. They aren’t just bruises, and they certainly didn’t come from a trip in a step or clumsiness. No, Steve knows there’s more behind the marks that litter his body.
Pairing: Slow!Burn Steve x Reader, Billy x Reader (it’ll make sense)
Warnings: marks, bruises, pain, physical abuse, force, sexual inclinations, etc. I mean no disrespect to anyone or to upset anyone, this story starts off rough but I can say that things will get better.
A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.
P.S. This a soulmate AU.
I will NO LONGER be adding anyone to the Tag’s List!
Billy fed you drink after drink, shoving them into your face that you forgot how to think straight at some point. You lost yourself after drink five, forgetting who you were and what would happen the moment your father found out about any of this. Instead you drank whatever concoction Billy handed your way and tilted your head back so the drink burned right down your throat.
You’d never gotten drunk before, since you’d never really been allowed out. But the feeling was all that you’d heard it was and you didn’t, at the moment, regret your decisions. After a painfully awkward long car ride, Billy and you had arrived at Tina’s house where all you could see was teenagers everywhere. You’d hesitated stepping out of the car, not knowing what would happen the second you did. But then Billy had appeared on your side of the car, opened the door and led you through the front doors.
You were bombarded by sweaty teenagers dancing, drinking or making out with others. Some people acknowledged Billy’s presence the moment he’d walked in, and you’d been forced to socialize with others during the occasion. But soon enough Billy had brought you to the ‘punch’ table and started pouring you drink after drink, which is where it all began.
You accepted the now refilled cup of ‘pure fuel’ and brought it to your lips almost immediately, downing more than half of it in the first gulp. You were brought back to the real world then by the sound of Billy’s laughter and gazing up at him over the tip of your cup, you fought the blush that threatened to grow. “Didn’t peg you as a drinker, darlin’.”
You shrugged your shoulders; “never drank before.”
You missed the way he’s eyes widened in surprise and before you knew it, Billy was by your side. “Really?” He asked, looking down at you as he slyly slid his arm around your waist. You let him, leaning into the boy slightly to regain your balance. The whole world seemed fuzzy around you and honestly you didn’t even know if you were seeing straight. “Now that’s exciting.”
You mumbled something but over the slur of your words you’re sure Billy didn’t understand. For a moment it was silent as the two of you just stood there and suddenly a loud echoing noise gained your attention and leaning up slightly from the table, you noticed everyones eyes on a pair of people. You squinted slightly, the room spinning before you were able to focus in and found the same pair of brown eyes that haunted your mind.
There in the middle of the crowd stood Steve and Nancy, who’s white shirt was dyed red from the ‘pure fuel’. Your eyes narrowed at the sight of them together and before you knew it, they were walking off in the direction of the bathroom. You chose to ignore your bitterness and the feeling of Billy laughing loudly beside you as you turned back to your cup and took a large slip. Suddenly drinking felt more like a habit and you felt your shoulders grow heavy with weight.
The sight of Steve with Nancy, for whatever reason that you couldn’t even explain yourself, sobered you up real quick. And with your sober thoughts now coming through, you realized the severity of your actions-
What was wrong with you?
What were you doing here-
Placing your hands against the table, you steadied yourself as your mind became fuzzy. Thoughts burned through your mind rapidly and you found yourself unable to think straight. The distant sound of Billy’s voice echoed in your mind but you couldn’t exactly make out what he was saying. You didn’t understand what you were doing or who you were trying to be.
Since when did you sneak out and get drunk?
The reality of everything was starting to set in and you realized there was no way you were going to get back home and into your bedroom without your father noticing. You felt yourself grow sick knowing what would happen the minute you came home, and knew that if worse came to worse your father would knock you out cold and you’d have a whole new selection of bruises to hide.
That’s when you felt Billy nestle up beside you and his hands fall dangerously close to your butt. You flinched in surprise from the contact but it seemed Billy didn’t care this time and soon you found yourself flipped from the table and your back smacking against the wall behind you. You blinked, the sight of Billy before you spinning in your minds eye as his hands fell above your hips. You weren’t even sure what was happening before you felt his lips on your neck and his body pressed against yours.
“Billy,” you slurred, but he didn’t hear- or choose to hear.
Your hands flew to his shoulders where you tried to push him off but it made no difference. You were too drunk to even walk on your own, let alone push a boy two times your size off of you. You looked desperately around you for someones help but knew that none of it would matter considering they were all drunk beyond reason and probably thought you wanted this.
What was happening?
The world was spinning again-
“Billy,” you called, your words coming out in a moan as he bit your neck. Panic filled within you as you felt yourself grow hot. And then before you knew it, Billy was slipping off the leather jacker he’d given you, leaving you bare in your white t-shirt. The fact that your bruises were clear as day didn’t register within in you and all you could think about was getting away from Billy.
It wasn’t until Billy gripped a bruise on your waist did life seem to snap back to you. You let out a loud yelp of pain as he pinched the sensitive skin, and the moment you felt Billy stop in surprise you pushed against his shoulders. He luckily, this time, stepped away and panting you held yourself. You didn’t meet his eyes knowing what you’d find and wanting to avoid them as much as possible. The moment you’d meet his eyes would be the moment you’d submit to him again. Billy scared you, just like your dad, but you didn’t- didn’t want to lose your virginity like this.
“What the hell?!” Billy spat.
Shaking your head, you stared at the ground before you. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your voice shaking. “I have to- I have to go.” You moved to step past him but Billy stepped before you abruptly. You closed your eyes in fear, tensing your body as you waited for the pain to start. But nothing ever happened, and finally you looked up at Billy; “bitch.” He spat, before stepping out of your way.
You paused for your moment, the pleasure of being drunk leaving you and you felt your heart rapidly beat against your chest. Biting your tongue, you sped through Tina’s house, moving through people narrowly before making your way outside. The cool air hit your bare arms and you were reminded of the vulnerability you found yourself in.
Staring at the street before you and the cars lined up, you sighed. You’d have to walk home-
“Fancy seeing you here.” You turned around at the voice, finding none other then Steve just before you. You paused in surprise, gazing up at him in wonder as he took another step forward. Snapping out of your stupor, you nodded shortly and let your eyes wander around the front yard again.
“Need a lift home?” Steve offered and again you found yourself surprised by him.
“A drive.” Steve clarified, warily stepping closer to you. His eyes almost seemed bloodshot and it looked as if he’d been crying or near tears. You felt your heart fall at the thought of him being upset, but shook your head- you barely knew the guy. “Do you need one home?”
You teetered over the options, unsure if you should take it. But considering your other option was walking home, alone, in the middle of the night and risk coming home later or accepting the drive, the option seemed clear. So, taking a deep breath you nodded and felt yourself grow warm when Steve smiled lightly. The smile didn’t meet his eyes and it almost looked forced, but nonetheless he smiled.
“Here.” He said, slipping off his jacket and extending it towards you. You hesitated for a moment, holding your arms close to yourself before accepting his generous offer and extending your own arm towards him. You seemed to have forgotten about the bruises littering your arm for a moment when Steve reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Hey,” he said, his eyes falling with concern. “Who- did Billy do this to you?”
“What?” You questioned, your eyes falling on your arm. Pulling it back from his grip, you hugged your arm to yourself and quickly slipped on his jacket, so Steve could no longer stare at them. “No- no, it’s fine. I’m fine.”
“It’s fine, okay?” You said, a bit harshly. You felt guilty about interrupting him, especially when he’d offered you a drive, but you couldn’t risk him finding out. If your father… you didn’t want to think about that. “I’m fine.”
Steve seemed hesitant but eventually he nodded and stepping forward, you followed him. ”This way.”
Request: Can I request one where Tony Starks little sister is in a failing relationship? They were at the tower arguing and Tony came in the room just as the guy was hitting her? But before Tony could do anything Bucky storms over and knocks the guy through the wall. She tells him it’s been going on for a while and she was scared to say anything about it.
Note: for anyone in an abusive relationship or family, I hope you know you’re strong enough to get out. reach out to someone that can help. without further ado, thanks for the request, darlin! I hope it doesn’t suck, omg. leave a comment and let me know your thoughts! .c
You weren’t sure how it happened; what changed. Everything was going smoothly, you were happy. Your world felt perfect. The honeymoon phase had gone and passed, and it still felt like a fairy-tale relationship. He was a gentleman - the type that opened your car door for you and made sure your seat-belt was tight enough before he drove off. The type that held open doors and pulled your chair out, took care of you when you were sick and rubbed your feet after working all day. Your relationship was one of which little girls dream to have when they get older - full of love, loyalty, and everlasting happiness.
Sadly, not everything is as it seems. Behind closed doors, that gentleman you fell in love with, along with those eyes and that shining smile that made you feel fireworks in your belly, turned cold and everything went wrong. Three words kept your feet planted.
Your feet always did become tired after being on them for too long.
The team had left for a mission, one you were able to get out of so you could spend your three year anniversary with your boyfriend while they were gone. It felt normal again, like the worst was over with and you could let go of what has happened. You made dinner for the both of you; his favorite dish. You wanted to stay in and have a more intimate evening than be in the eye of a crowd on such a special occasion.
Everything was perfect for a few hours. And then it wasn’t. He complained about his job while eating, which you listened to because you care, then he started talking about moving away, getting out of this place. You noticed the way his eyes darted around the large kitchen in the Avengers Tower. You had a gut feeling he meant this place in particular.
Your life was here. A well paying job, saving people alongside your friends, your brother was here, your friends, and New York City was your home. There’s no way you were going to give this up.
The loud clank of a fork dropping against the ceramic plate caused you to flinch in your seat after you spoke your mind. His hard stare bore into your eyelids as you stared down at your dinner with a fast beating heart. Your palms grew damp as his breathing became erratic.
“Excuse me?” His voice was rough and low. You looked up and his fists were clenched, the skin pulled tight against his knuckles. Those of which you’ve had contact with more times than you could count. Sighing softly, you kept your cool.
You avoided his eyes as you chose your words carefully. “My life is here.” Your voice didn’t come out as you had hoped, you sounded small. His nostrils flared and he jolted from the table, his thighs knocking against the edge, causing his glass to fall over and his drink to spill. Your body jerked at the action and you hoped he wouldn’t do anything.
Even hope fails sometimes.
He stormed out of the room and your eyes followed his tensed body. You sighed and rest your elbows on the table, rubbing your temples for a few moments. It’s the night of your anniversary and spending it arguing was not in your plans, so you wanted to fix this now. Scooting your chair back, you left the mess as is and went to find him.
You stepped into your bedroom and watched him pace back and forth, pulling at his hair. “Baby, can we just ta-” His head shot towards you and his eyebrows were creased together. “I don’t want you here anymore!” He yelled, the vein in his neck protruding. You stepped towards him and scoffed. “This-this is my life! I’m not throwing it away!” Your voice was louder and it surprised him.
Anger started to overtake every emotion you had. “I’m sorry but if you don’t like it, then I don’t know what to tell you.” You shrugged and he laughed, deep and menacing. “What I say goes, sweetheart. You’re mine!” He said it as if you were his property and you stood silent.
“You’re a fucking bitch, you know that!?” Your mouth fell open as he continued to yell at you. All of what he said was a lie, you do everything for him. For years you’ve been nothing but good to him.
“How am I a bitch? Because I don’t want to do what you want to do for once? I could be out with my team right now saving people but I chose to spend tonight with you!”
Your voice was just as loud as his but you didn’t care. You both knew you weren’t giving up your life here. What you didn’t know, was that the whole team was listening since they had all just arrived and heard you two in the quiet tower, and two men were making their way up to you.
He took a step towards you and gripped your arm, jerking you in place, his face mere inches from yours. You struggled in his grip and tried to pull it away but his grip was too tight. “You’re hurting me, stop it!” Your eyes filled with tears and your lip trembled.
His jaw clenched as his grip got even tighter, causing you to yelp. Your fingers dug into his hand but it wouldn’t budge. “I don’t fucking care! You’re mine and we’re leaving! What I say goes!” You ignored the pain in your arm and shoved his chest with your other hand this time. He stumbled a tad then he gripped both of your arms so you couldn’t fight back.
“I grew up here, I’m not leaving just because you want me to!” Your words only angered him more. You were denying him what he wanted and he hated it. His face came even closer to yours and you cowered away as best you could.
He let you go with a growl and you hissed at the pain, the throbbing in your arms was excruciating. He started pacing again, his fists clenched. You couldn’t take this anymore. The only thing you were leaving is him and this is the moment you’ve been waiting for deep down. Your eyes spilled tears as you gathered the courage to speak.
“We’re done.” Your voice shook and you wiped at your cheeks.
Suddenly, he turned around and lifted his hand in the air, but before he could strike, a large body ran into him, both of them going straight through the wall and into the room beside yours. You screamed and jerked away as you felt a hand rest on your shoulder. Your brother was standing there, his eyes wide with shock and anger.
He pulled you into his chest and the reality of what could’ve happened, yet again, settled in. You sobbed into his chest and he pulled you out of the room. Before you were out all the way, you looked inside and saw Bucky punch your boyfriend - ex boyfriend - in the face, yelling something you couldn’t make out.
Steve met you and Tony in the hallway, his eyes falling on Tony’s for a split second. Steve clenched his jaw as his eyes landed on your sobbing figure. “What happened? Are you okay?” He made to reach out to touch you but Tony wouldn’t let him. “Get Barnes.” Your brother rasped and Steve gave him a curt nod. Bucky’s yells were still coming from your room, seemingly getting louder as the seconds passed.
Tony took you into the common room and sat you down on the couch. You were shaking and crying as he held you in his arms. The tower was so silent, you could hear Steve yelling below at Bucky.
“You’re going to kill him!”
“He deserves it!”
“You fucking piece of shit! How dare you!”
“Bucky, he’s out cold!”
“I don’t fucking care! He hurt her!”
Tony reached for a remote on the coffee table and turned on his stereo, keeping it loud enough to drown out their yells. You always loved classical music and you felt yourself starting to calm down as the minutes passed. Your breathing slowed but you were still shaken up.
Tony turned to you and you avoided his eyes. “Y/N…” He gulped, trying to figure out how to ask this. You wiped your nose and sighed. “I didn’t know what to do, Tony.” Your voice cracked and Tony pulled you back into his arms, rubbing your back. He lightly shushed you as you sobbed loudly.
“Never again. Never. Again.” He repeated his words as a promise to you. He wanted to go down to your room and take care of your ex but he knew Bucky had done enough damage already. You needed him more anyways.
You pulled away from Tony and was about to say something until Bruce came in. He had a few cuts on his face and you knew the mission must’ve been tough since he was fighting along with them. Guilt surfaced.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but do you need… Did he.. Are you-” It was hard for him to ask if you were hurt or needed help, so you just nodded. Tony and Bruce then escorted you to the medical room. You remained quiet and so did they. The atmosphere was too fragile for speaking. But you knew you’d have to sooner or later.
Bruce checked out your arms, applying gentle pressure until you winced at the pain. He told you there was bruising but thankfully nothing was broken from what he felt. After that, he set you up to take some x-rays. He jotted everything down on your clipboard. He has one for everybody; saving the world and its people comes with broken bones and wounds.
You could detect a change in Bruce as you walked out from behind the machine. “You have a broken rib on your left side.” He walked you over to the photos of your x-rays. He pointed it out and your stomach sank as you bowed your head and bit the inside of your lips.
He looked at you, sighing. “So, two weeks ago, on the mission when you-” You nodded your head. You were arguing with your boyfriend about some guy hitting on you at a bar that night. It wasn’t your fault yet you suffered the consequences by being slammed into your dresser. Your excuse was a guard kicking you during a mission the next day.
“It was him.” He breathed out, looking back at your x-rays. The sound of the door slamming shut made you flinch - though nearly everything did. You thought it was him coming after you, but you saw Tony marching away through the glass doors. He was still angry, probably blaming himself for not noticing this before.
“I’m gonna go talk to him.” You quietly excused yourself and Bruce nodded, giving you a tight lipped smile. Your mind was racing with thoughts as you followed after your brother. Where would your ex go? Is Bucky okay? Did Steve get him away before he killed your ex? Will everyone judge you for staying when they find out?
Your thoughts were silenced when you arrived at the common room. Tony and Bucky were talking and you stood in your spot, eavesdropping. “He’s definitely getting locked up. I don’t want him anywhere near her ever again.” Bucky was breathing heavily and Tony hummed in agreement.
“I wish she would’ve come to me. I could’ve stopped this.” Tony sounded sad now, his anger leaving his body as he thought about it. Bucky sighed and you peeked around, seeing him lay his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Look, none of us would’ve known. It’s not your fault or hers.”
Your eyes burned with tears and you left before you were seen. You didn’t feel guilty for not telling them, they knew you couldn’t. In a situation like that, nobody could really know what would happen if you tried to leave. The first time you did, you had to pack on make-up to hide a black eye. You thought staying was the safest option - you were wrong. But leaving wasn’t so easily done.
You asked Friday to let everyone know you needed to be alone for a few hours to clear your mind. As you entered your room, your eyes went straight to the huge hole in the wall. It would need to be replaced but that was the least of your worries right now.
Taking a deep breath, you walked out onto your balcony. It was slightly windy and you looked out across the area, the sound of the city below calmed your nerves only slightly. The sun was setting and you felt a small wave of peace. You were finally free from him and the torment. But not entirely.
The door opened suddenly and you were immediately alert, the hair on your arms standing up straight. “It’s me.” Bucky could see your tensed muscles and he kicked himself for it. Had your ex not done those things to you, you wouldn’t be so scared with someone enters a room, or when you hear someone yelling or slamming something. Noises like that terrified you.
Bucky walked up beside you, watching the city bustle with cars and people. He looked down at his hands, all clean from the blood from earlier, some from the mission and some from your ex. You could hear his breathing, it was ragged and shallow. He looked back out towards the city and everything was blurry now from his tears.
“How long?” His whisper mixed with the wind but you caught it. You swallowed thickly. “Two years.” Your voice was barely over a whisper and you could see Bucky slump his shoulders from your peripheral. “Why?” His voice shook and your eyes filled with tears yet again.
“He said he loved me.” Your lip trembled and you shook your head, not seeing how untrue those words were until now. Bucky clenched his jaw, glancing at your face. Oh how he wished he hadn’t because it made him want to have his hands around your ex’s neck again. It took everything in him not to leave and go finish it.
“I was so scared to say anything. I thought that…that maybe the first time was just an accident.” Your voice cracked and Bucky pulled you into his body and held you close. He was shaking with anger, his eyes shut tightly as he imagined the things your ex did to you. Holding you was his anchor right now.
Bucky pressed his lips to your head and you leaned further into him. “Y/N, you’ll never have to see him again. That was not love. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” He whispered in your ear, his voice full of certainty and sadness.
You nodded against his chest and sighed. “I feel so stupid, Bucky. He-he wanted me to leave and I didn’t want to, I couldn’t. Then like every time we argue, he just lost it. I feel so weak.” You sniffled and gripped Bucky’s shirt tightly, as if he’d disappear and you were just dreaming and you’d wake up next to your ex, trapped in fear.
Bucky pulled away and let his flesh hand hold your cheek as softly as he could. “God, Y/N, no. No, you are not weak. Don’t say that, not around me, not ever. H-he could’ve killed you.” His voice cracked this time, his blue eyes pooling with tears. The longer Bucky stared into your eyes, he realized just how much he wanted to show you what love really is. But not yet. He could only protect you for now.
“Dammit, I could kill him. You deserve so much more, Y/N. If you’ll let me, I’ll protect you with my life. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” Bucky’s thumb caressed your skin and a tear fell down his cheek. You nodded, letting out a sob as you pulled Bucky in for a hug. His arms held you close and tight, blocking you from everything.
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“I guess I lost it before I even had it,” That was the last thing Steve said when they got to his car. It echoed in Y/N’s head the whole trip home. Then she got to thinking what life with Steve could’ve been like. All the things she did with Jonathan, she imagined doing with Steve, then she imagined more intimate moments like stolen kisses, affectionate hugs and cuddling. She shook her head and turned the volume up to the radio, hoping whatever was playing would drown out the less than sane thoughts going through her head.
“After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray Watching through windows you’re wondering if I’m okay Secrets stolen from deep inside The drum beats out of time
If you’re lost you can look and you will find me Time after-“
Y/N’s hand slammed on the radio, silencing Cyndi Lauper, then covered her mouth as a sob escaped. Every emotion she felt with Steve in the car finally made its way out. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, but it just seemed to make things worse.
Y/N parked her car next to her mother’s in the driveway and sat. She turned the key to shut the ignition off, then rested her forehead against the wheel and cried.
She didn’t know what time it was by the time she gathered herself up and trudged into the house. All of the lights were off and the house was silent. Y/N kicked her shoes off on the side mat and hung up her keys.
Y/N walked as quietly as she could down the hall to her room and silently shut the door. She flipped the light switch on and looked at the alarm clock on her nightstand. It was after midnight.
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Public Teasing, Public Masturbation, Teasing in the car and in the bedroom, pleading, seduction, striping Dylan because he’s sexy as fuck, dry humping, thigh riding, hand jobs, face riding, handcuffs, blindfolds, 69 (aka oral male and female receiving), overstimulation, praising, orgasm denial, female riding male (regular and reverse cowgirl), whiny Dylan, mentions of dominant Dylan, A lot of submissive Dylan, BREATHY MOANS
Notes: I will make this short as I am writing this pool side from hell. I’m so sorry this took forever. I have no excuses. But hopefully it was worth it. I honestly don’t know if this is my best writing for what you guys wanted from this. I promise the next thing I write won’t take as long.
You’re In Love With Him But He Likes Your Best Friend
Masterlist linked in bio
Harry’s been drinking all night.
It all started off with Savannah, whom he went to Lexi’s Bar with a couple of friends. It was a tradition they all had that carried throughout the past couple of months. Because Friday night meant cheaper alcohol, and Y/n’ s closing shift.
They were all having a good time, Y/n serving them drinks and they all drank their week away. It was just a night of celebrating the end of the week, where stress could be left behind for at least a couple of hours.
Everything was great until Harry got too handsy. It wasn’t his fault, he thinks, they had been talking for months and he had no particular reason to refrain himself from wrapping his arms around Savannah, considering she’s let him do it many times before.
But tonight, she wasn’t going near him, which was a drastic change from her previous attitude with him earlier that night.
So now, he’s stranded at Lexi’s Bar past closing hours, tipsy out of his mind. Savannah left without a word, abandoning him at the bar with no other ride home.
“Jesus, Harry!” Y/n gasps, her hand instinctively reaching for her chest when she makes her way back to the bar. “What the hell are you still doing here?!”
Their friends had left a while ago, only Harry remaining slumped against the bar with an empty glass of Malibu. She wasn’t aware of his stay, in fact, it was her closing shift and the bar had closed twenty minutes ago. Only the slight sound of the radio and the clanging of dishes Y/n was washing could be heard throughout the scene.
He looks like a mix of frustrated and upset, a clear shadow of sadness in his eyes as he looks up at her. He frowns a bit, looking back down at the empty glass that’s fiddling in his hands as he lets out an almost inaudible sigh.
“Do you mind driving me home?” he asks guiltily, “Savannah was my ride but she’s not really speaking to me right now.”
Y/n furrows her eyebrows at the softness of his words, an evident tone of helplessness when he spoke. She nods her head slightly, reaching over to grab his finished drink.
“Gonna wash this real quick,” she mutters, “you can grab your coat, I’ll be right out.”
Harry nods while shooting her a small smile through his frown. He’s always been extremely appreciative of her efforts with him. He knows damn well no other person would be able to treat him the way she does. She put him first, always, and it had always been something Harry never fully understood. She went out of the way for him whenever he needed it most, without the smallest hesitation. And if he needed someone to talk to, even if it was about the horrendous traffic on his way to work, she was always there to listen to him.
He can’t lie, he feels guilty that it’s her closing shift and she’d have to be driving out of her way in order to take him home. But in all honesty, he had nobody else. Savannah left without a word after Harry tried desperately to get her attention, his other friends following shortly after in one car, leaving Harry stranded alone at the bar with Y/n still working. So, really, this was his only option.
When Y/n returns to the front of the bar, she remains silent as she grabs her coat off of the hanger. She looks at him from the corner of her eye, watching as his fingers rub harsh circles against his temples, a gesture he’s always done when he was stressed. He shook his head slightly, shutting his eyes tightly as he fixes the jacket hanging swiftly from his shoulders.
She bites her lip, curious eyes wandering around his slumped frame. Seeing Harry distressed makes her feel upset. Witnessing him at a time of stress was extremely rare, and something about it makes Y/n’s stomach drop. He was always so positive, always making sure the people around him were smiling. He has the type of personality others strive, because he’s so selfless and effortless at everything he does, it’s the part of him Y/n always loved and admired.
“What happened? You okay?”
Harry lets out a frustrated sigh, his nose flaring as he closes his eyes momentarily.
“Savannah’s just so confusing sometimes. I like her a lot, but she’s hard to keep up with. It’s like she’s into me one minute and the next like I’m completely wasting her time, you know? I don’t know what she wants from me anymore.”
Y/n nods, understanding completely what he’s talking about. Savannah often does this to him—to most guys, actually.Because of how different they both are relationship-wise, it’s almost impossible for Harry to adjust to Savannah’s ‘hard to get’ character. Harry prefers to not waste any time when it comes to dating. If he likes someone who reciprocates feelings, he immediately takes action. That’s how he always was with his past girlfriends, taking no time to start a relationship with them.
Savannah, however, loves the game. Being chased amuses her, almost makes her feel as if she’s worth something. Because of her undoubtable beauty and irresistibly charming personality, she always makes the man work for her liking. Her character always made guys frustrated but exposed them to an entirely different relationship. Her hot to cold attitude made men feel intimidated, yet motivated them to catch her. Because, undoubtedly, she’s the ultimate catch no guy could ever ignore.
It had always been that way, too. When Y/n and Savannah both hit puberty, Savannah was the irresistible one. Her figure curved at all the right edges, her tan complexion naturally glowing, and she started to expose herself to new people.
She wasn’t shy of anything. Any opportunity to take on a challenge called Savannah’s name. She was constantly seeking adventure and finding new people to get along with. Which, of course, wasn’t hard at all. Everyone liked Savannah, it was almost impossible not to.
Y/n, however, was the exact opposite. She was beautiful, but not ‘Savannah beautiful.’ She was paler, not a spot of makeup on her face. Her body was a bit more frail than hers, her curves not as extenuated. She was more introverted, as well, only speaking when she felt was necessary. The only way she was able to make friends was through Savannah’s courageous behavior.
And although Savannah and Y/n had an unbreakable bond since middle school, being Savannah’s best friend screwed up Y/n’s love life tremendously. It hurt Y/n a lot throughout her high school years. Being best friends with the most beautiful girl wasn’t easy for her, if anything, it made her feel less about herself. It’s the exact reason why she hasn’t dated in years. Because guys Y/n liked always ended up falling for Savannah.
Which is exactly what’s happening with Harry.
Y/n first met Harry when she began working at Lexi’s. It was her first Friday night shift during the summer. It was her first week after training, so she wasn’t quite used to the busy weekends and late hours, but she didn’t mind it.
She was rearranging glasses at the bar when Harry first walked in. Her breath hitched in her throat when she first saw him enter. She could have sworn her heart had jumped out from her chest in that very moment. He was beautiful, a different kind of beautiful, too. He was so effortless at it—the way he moved and the way he presented himself; he had confidence in himself without flaunting it.
He was wearing tight black jeans with a pink floral see-through button up, flowing loosely from his shoulders. His chest was in great view, as well, the cross hanging from his necklace dangling perfectly between his pecs. His hair was freshly cut, his face freshly shaved and had an aroma of a cologne Y/n wasn’t familiar with. It was unique, though, like him, and all-in-all made him more attractive than she already perceived him to be.
Her eyes went wide when he claimed the barstool in front of her, her actions coming to a halt as her eyes hawked over his every move. She genuinely forgot how to breathe, his physical features overwhelming her in ways she’s never experienced before. The world around her seemed to fade as she admired every part of him she could see.
He was just so breathtaking.
It wasn’t until one of the other bartenders dropped a glass onto the floor that Y/n was pulled out of her trance. She quickly shook her head, slowly coming back in touch with reality. Thankfully, he hadn’t seemed to notice her presence yet.
She shook her head again before working to dry the remaining shot glasses. She just had to make it a couple of hours without completely embarrassing herself in front of him, that’s all she had to do.
Her eyes drifted slightly to him again when he lifted his right leg up against the unoccupied barstool next to him, leaning over before his fingers started working to retie his shoelace.
“The usual.” he spoke, eyes still cast downward.
Y/n looked around behind the counter, checking to see if he was talking to someone else. Considering she had just started working there a week ago and hasn’t served him yet, she was completely clueless as to what he was ordering.
He looked up from his shoes, eyes diverting right into hers as a sense of realization reached his features.
“Oh, I see,” he giggled, “Sorry, love. I wasn’t aware there was a new bartender in town.”
His voice was both raspy and smooth in the most elegant way she’s ever heard. His accent was so incredibly thick she could visually see it by the way his lips moved. And his giggle, with the slight smirk he developed made her heart flutter in her chest.
Y/n nodded, smiling slightly at him.
“Yeah, just started a week ago. Nobody’s ever ordered ‘the usual’ before.” she joked, nervous laughter falling from her lips as she tucked loose pieces of hair behind her ear.
He grinned at her, his cheeks turning a bit peachy. He had to admit, she was gorgeous, and clearly had a great sense of humor. He could tell she was shy, though, by the way she wasn’t confident in her words and the way her cheeks flushed whenever he spoke to her.
“Cute” he muttered ever so slightly, Y/n almost thought she imagined it, “‘The usual,’ at least for me, is a Malibu Bay Breeze. Bit heavier on the cranberry juice, a bit lighter on the pineapple.”
Y/n nodded, muttering a quiet “coming right up” before gathering the ingredients. Harry watched her as she poured it all together, mixing the essential ingredients, admiring her gestures and movements whenever he said something that made her smile.
They talked for hours that night, getting to know each other. Y/n was mesmerized, completely and utterly captivated at how somebody like him could possibly exist. He was everything she’s ever dreamed of—there wasn’t any part of him she didn’t find alluring. This was the only time she’s ever spoken to him, yet she found herself feeling something she’s never felt before.
And the feelings only got stronger with time. Every Friday for four months, Y/n found Harry coming into Lexi’s earlier than he usually did, and every time he’d come she prepared him a Malibu Bay Breeze—heavy on the cranberry, light on the pineapple.
He stayed with her until closing, until the last light went off and the music went down. And after she was off her shift, he took her to the 24-hour movie theater that hardly anybody went to in those early hours of the morning. Instead of watching, however, they spent the entire movie goofing around with popcorn and sharing fond memories of their childhood.
To say Y/n had fallen hard for Harry was an understatement. She was completely and unconditionally in love with him.
The feeling he had given her never subsided—he never failed to give her a feeling of euphoria whenever he spent his Friday nights with her. And the more he opened up to her, and the more she opened up to him, the more it felt right. He felt right, no part of her doubted that for a second. He captured her heart and she knew there was no way in hell she was ever getting it back.
Savannah even began to notice her shift in mood ever since her Friday night shifts began. It was as if she turned into an entirely different person. She seemed more confident in herself, and Savannah started noticing the softest of smiles illuminating on her face every so often.
Y/n was the happiest she had ever been before, she swore she was on cloud nine. Y/n started to believe nothing could have torn her down. Nothing.
But then, it happened.
Savannah showed up to Lexi’s during Y/n’s regular Friday night shift. It was a little past midnight, arriving back from her aunt’s wedding—which Y/n would have attended if she didn’t need the money (and if it wasn’t during her shift Harry was a frequent customer in).
She ran in with a long eggplant purple dress, which had a long slit along the leg. Her hair curled in perfect waves that fell loosely down her shoulders, her makeup illuminating and extenuating her flawless features.
“Y/n!” She squealed, scurrying her way to the bar while nearly tripping over her six-inch heels.
Y/n saw Harry’s eyes widen at the sight of her. Of course she visited her when Harry’s here, and of course, she visited when she looked as beautiful as ever. Y/n knew the second Savannah walked in that it was over, every possibility of her and Harry building up to a relationship has been knocked down to the ground.
Y/n closed her eyes momentarily, because she started to feel every part of her heartbreak, and it was the most painful feeling she’s ever felt. Harry’s only seen Savannah for a couple of seconds and he was already looking at her in a way he never has with Y/n.
She gritted her teeth harshly, because how did she think this wouldn’t happen? This was always how it ended, and even if Harry ever liked Y/n enough to start a relationship with her, she wouldn’t be able to hide him from Savannah forever.
“Guess what!” she yelled once she found her way to the bar, leaning against it so she was as close as possible to Y/n.
“What?” Y/n smiled weakly, unable to rid the aching in her chest.
“The photographer at the wedding asked me to be a model for his pictures! And not only that, but he just started working for Top Shop, said he could talk to some people for me to make this work! Can you believe it?! Savannah Turk, next top model! Gosh, I’m so excited!”
Y/n smiled widely. It was always Savannah’s dream to become a model, and she could definitely pull it off. In all honesty, she was shocked she wasn’t one already.
“That’s great, Savannah!” Y/n gasped, “I can’t believe this! I’m so happy for you!”
They both reached over to hug each other, Savannah jumping up and down as small squeals fall from her lips. Once they let go, Y/n is quick to fix up Savannah’s favorite drink as she claims the barstool next to Harry.
Harry’s heart began to race as she scooted closer to him. She was completely breathtaking. He had never seen someone like her before, every part of her intrigued him. She drew him in, and there was no way in hell there was any chance of going back.
“I’m Harry, by the way.”
Savannah let out a slight “push” as she waved her hand in the air.
“I know, Y/n doesn’t shut up about you.”
Y/n’s eyes widened, but quickly refrained against her shocked expression as she let out a nervous laugh. God, they couldn’t know about her feelings, because she hadn’t told anybody about how she felt about Harry and certainly wanted to avoid talking about it while he’s practically gawking over Savannah.
Harry looked up at Y/n with a playful smirk resting perfectly on his face.
“Well, who else is going to get me through my Friday night shifts?” Y/n laughed.
Harry lifted his drink up to her, eyebrows lifting as he smirked at her, “And who else is going to get me through my loneliness, eh?”
Savannah’s eyebrows lifted, a wide grin on her face as she looked over to Harry. And by God, he surely was a sight to see.
“Oh, so ‘Friday night shift boy’ is lonely? Don’t know why Y/n hasn’t taken advantage of that yet,” Savannah smirked, “I know I would have.”
Y/n nods again, mustering up a sympathetic smile to him. She doesn’t want any part of Savannah’s games to make him feel bad about himself. None of what he’s feeling is his fault, and every atom in her body aches for him to know that.
“I’m sorry, Harry” she whispers, “I know how much that can hurt, you don’t deserve it.”
He gives her a soft smile, but it falls just as quickly as it spreads. His gaze falls to the floor, eyebrows furrowing as he shakes his head softly.
“I just can’t keep doing this with her.”
His soft and Bambi eyes look up at her in sorrow, a frown stretched on his lips at the strain his heart has endured.
“I don’t know what more I can do, Y/n.”
And as selfish as it sounds, the first thought that comes to her mind after the hopeless words leave Harry’s mouth is you can love me back.
Because, God, if he loved her, she wouldn’t keep him waiting. She wouldn’t keep him under the impression that he’s not good enough. No, Harry’s fulfilled every part of her wildest dreams, and she would never let a day go by without making him feel the way he deserves—loved.
Despite her selfish thoughts that she desperately wishes she could say to him, she pushes them all aside. Harry needs her, he needs her to be the friend that will be there for him in the latest hours of the night. He needs her shoulder to lean on, and she can’t deny the chance to help him through this and make him feel better.
She doesn’t respond to him, only slinging her bag around her shoulder and pointing her head toward the exit doors.
“We can talk about this later, yeah? Lets just get you home first.”
The ride to his house was silent, mainly consisting of the soft tune on the radio and Y/n’s hushed voice singing along. With the alcohol still buzzing inside Harry’s head, he didn’t mind the silence they shared. It was comfortable because Harry wasn’t in the mood to discuss his anticlimactic relationship with Savannah. He just needed someone to listen to him, to be there for him, and Y/n was his favorite company.
When they arrive at his house, Y/n is basically carrying Harry to his door.
“Yeah, alright, you—that’s right, you’re good” she huffs, the weight of his body making it a struggle for her to walk.
He isn’t drunk enough for her to completely guide him, but he is stumbling a bit and does find himself tripping over his own two feet a couple of times.
Y/n giggles, shaking her head as she walks him through his front door.
“I knew I shouldn’t have made you that many drinks. Thank God you weren’t planning on driving, that would have been a mess.”
Harry doesn’t have much time to respond before she sits him down on his couch. She runs her thumb along his forehead softly, wiping away some of the sweat before smiling at him softly.
"Gonna make you some tea, now.”
Harry shakes his head, his hand reaching to grab her wrist.
“Love, you don’t have to,” Harry shakes his head, “you’ve been making everybody’s drinks all night.”
She shrugs, a small smile tugging on her lips.
“I don’t mind. You’re upset, I want to make sure you feel better, alright? I know that Savannah does this to you and I don’t—“ she pauses, closing her eyes softly, “and I don’t want you to keep thinking that this is your fault.”
His heart swells at her words, his large hands reaching out to grip her small ones.
“Would you mind just—just lying down with me for a bit? I don’t want the tea, just need your company right now.”
Y/n frowns slightly, and she isn’t sad because she doesn’t want to be with him. What makes her sad is the intimacy of holding him would give her no chance to escape her feelings. Whenever she feels the heartbreak sneaking back up on her, she always finds a way to distract herself from the pain. Whether it was rearranging her bedroom, organizing the books on her bookshelf, or focusing on her work, there was always a way to escape the pain.
But it’s when she feels him—whether it’s the touch of his hand, or a rub of the shoulder—when she feels his skin ignite her and when she feels the warmth of is body against her, there was no running away from the harsh reality she’s been living in. There is no escape from the thought that she’s in love with someone she can never have because all she feels when she feels him is broken.
And it’s in these moments she finds herself being most selfish. Because he needs her now, holding him, reassuring him that everything will be okay. He’s going through the same feeling she is, and all she can think about is her stupid self and her broken heart, even when he needs her most.
She lays down on his couch first, which Harry finds particularly inviting. He lays with his head face down against her neck, legs tangled in between hers with his arms wrapped around her back. He loves cuddling with her. She’s just so soft, and she feels cozy, especially after he drinks heaps of alcohol. He hasn’t cuddled with her for a while, either, and holding her against him now already makes his shitty night somewhat tolerable.
“Thank you for being with me, Y/n” he mumbles against her collar bone, the fabric of her t-shirt moving against his lips. “And I’m sorry I made you drive me back.”
She giggles softly, her fingers brushing through his messy bed of curls. She feels him relax into her the more she rakes his hair, and he doesn’t hesitate to keep her motions going.
“It’s okay, didn’t have any other plans. Besides, I kind of miss being alone with you sometimes.”
He hums in response, pressing his cheek further into her neck. His eyes shut, his body relaxing to the sound of her heartbeat, which he feels thumping perfectly against his chest.
“S’good to me” he mumbles, “don’t know what I’d do without you, you know.”
Y/n feels her heart skip at the words he spoke against her, her whole body getting an overwhelming sense of despondency.
“I think I’m gonna keep fighting for her” Harry interjects.
His voice is slurring now, his half-asleep daze making his words all jumbled. But he knows what he’s saying, and Y/n knows, too, and her heart plummets. Her throat suddenly begins to choke on cries she wasn’t aware had come so quickly. It’s just another reminder, just another confirmation that Savannah always gets what she wants, even if Y/n wants it more.
“Yeah, I’m not gonna give up on her yet. If I like her, I gotta fight for it, right? She’d be well worth it, too.”
Y/n tries desperately to blink away her tears, and she’s forever grateful that the light is off in his living room when she fails to do so.
“I—I think you should do what you want, Harry” her voice shakes as she speaks, “I’ll be here for you either way.”
Harry holds her tighter, humming in response again, because he’s already falling asleep and finds no energy in him to answer her.
She wishes with everything in her that she can scream, scream at him for being so fucking stupid and oblivious to her love. And the worst part is that she can’t even blame him. She had an entire four months where she could have confessed her feelings, where she could have told him how in love with him she was.
But would it have changed anything? Would they have just ended up in this shitty situation anyway?
And it isn’t until Harry’s passed out on top of her, his breath spreading along her chest and his fingers rubbing her back in his slumber that Y/n realizes she could spend forever laying here with him, all wrapped up against his body. She could fall asleep like this every night, after a long day of work and empty wine glasses on the coffee table. She could see everything, everything she’s ever envisioned, with him.
And it’s in this moment she realizes that she can’t keep doing this anymore, either.
Her cheeks dampen with her tears, hands shaking in his hair. Never would she think she’d have to let him go, but seeing his face rest so peacefully on her chest, she knows she has to.
“I love you, Harry.” She cries, her fingers gripping onto the roots of his hair.
“God, Harry, I love you so much.” she sobs.
If Harry wasn’t such a deep sleeper, she would have never dreamt of saying all of this. But he’s remaining asleep, lips parted as he snores, the alcohol in his veins making him almost immobile against her.
“You deserve to be happy, Harry” she whispers, “I shouldn’t hold you back.”
Her body is shaking, soft cries leaving her lips and endless tears streaming down her face. She doesn’t want to let go, she doesn’t want to stop loving him in the way she does now. Because even though it hurts, she doesn’t want to imagine a day without him.
But she has to. For him.
Her thumbs rub along his cheekbones, her eyes admiring his features one last time.
“And it’s because I love you—“ she pauses, swallowing thickly as her shaking lips press tentatively against his forehead, “that I have to let you go.”
series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut. this chapter contains graphic content such as mental health deterioration & grief, smut, injury recovery, violence, death, blood & gore and dead bodies
A/N: this is a bit of an extension of the birthday bows/valentine woes world, but certainly functions as a stand alone piece. thank you for the request*, nonny 😘
this is a very, very smutty, dirty piece about anal so if that’s not your thing, turn back now. there’s a lot of movement in this, so please offer me a bit of suspension of disbelief and just know that harry and his missus did everything they needed to in order to be clean and safe in this encounter.
*requests are currently closed
He didn’t mean it. Really, he didn’t. Well, he did, but he didn’t. And he certainly didn’t mean it anymore. Not now. Not now that you were hanging it over his head and torturing him with it.
It had been just another nightly FaceTime before bed from miles and miles apart; well bedtime for you, the night had only just started in Jamaica. And it was just typical banter to hide the sour feeling due to return once you hung up. And it was just a sly comment to rile you up, get you excited to join him in Jamaica in a few days.
“Yeh not gonna be able to keep yeh hands off me, love.” And that would have been enough, but Harry often struggled when it came to shutting his big, stupid mouth. “Not even if yeh wanted.”
Your eyes went wide in surprise, mouth ajar with incredulity. “Excuse me?” you scoffed. “I can keep my hands to myself much better than you can, H.”
“Right.” A cocky smirk crossed his lips. “Always got yeh hands all over me, kitten, ’specially when we’re reunited. S’never enough with you. Keep me up all night–satisfy your every need–but then yeh right back on me in the mornin’. Insatiable, you are.”
“If I’m insatiable, what’s that make you?!” Sure, he was right; you liked a few sleepless nights upon reunion, enjoyed testing the limits of your bodies, but it’s not like he protested. It’s not like he didn’t want to explore your body, relearn your inner workings mind, body and soul and try a few new things, too.
“Sex slave. At your every beck and call, kitten.” He was pleased with himself, grinning ear-to-ear as he teased you.
“My mom wants me to become more involved at the school,” you sighed, walking with Taehyung to P.E.
The last few days your mom had been hinting that she wanted you to become involved, “like your brother”. You’d done your best to act clueless in order to get her to drop the subject, but she’d finally confronted you and outright told you that she wanted you to become more involved.
Making his way back to you, long strides stopping abruptly as he spots another mans figure besides you, the guy being the one you fangirl over. Reminiscing all the times you had fawned over his beauty, squealing when he did something cute/sexy and complimenting his voice, just going on and on. Fist clenching as he witnesses the guy intertwine his fingers with yours, pulling you closer planting a peck on your cheek, smirking at the blush creeping onto your face then turning on his heels walking away from you.
Jin’s pace quickens, stopping in front of you looking down at you like you were prey. Your face is still tinted pink as you look at your boyfriend with sparkling eyes and a bright smile, throwing your arms around him but hesitantly pulling away when you notice he didn’t return the actions. His stone cold face coming into view, you are about to question him but are interrupted.
“You let him kiss you, why?”
You didn’t have time to answer as he pushes you into the closest room, eyes adjusting to the darkness feeling his hands sneak up your shirt gripping your hips, bucking his hips up into yours and grinding hard. Removing your pants and panties, fingers slipping through your folds and rubbing your clit. His hand aligning his member before pushing into you slowly, pace picking up causing your moans to become louder his name leaving your mouth.
“Don’t let others touch what is mine”
Eyes fluttering open as his sleep was disturbed once again, puffs out a breath of frustration gaining annoyance from the dinging coming from your phone. Pushing himself up, feet padding along the wooden floor over to your bedside. Looking down at your phone, squinting from the brightness hitting his drowsy eyes. Several messages from your ex were in your notifications and more kept coming, the sleep fully escaped his body and he processed what was happening.
A fire fills his body, turning his attention towards your sleeping form, arm outstretching grabbing your shoulder and shaking you lightly but with enough force to wake you. Tired whines leaving your lips as you swat him away from you, he snatches your hands pinning them over your head. Your eyes widening as you are met with his angry ones.
“Why are you still talking to your ex”
Taken off guard by his question, shaking your head with confusion you open your mouth to explain but are quickly cut off by his lips taking yours into a rough kiss. His hands roaming down your body ripping your panties off, lining up his hardened length slamming into you, lip moving away from your swollen ones moving down to your chest and sucking harshly leaving red marks before traveling lower.
“You’re mine remember that”
Rushing after you, hand hitting the door you were about to slam on his face. Was aggravated with how you were flirting with the employee at the store and it made him even madder that you kept denying it, saying how he was delirious and you were only asking him questions. Grasps your shoulder turning you around to face him, face still full with anger wanting you to admit to him what you were actually doing.
“What the hell was that back there”
Fed up with you repeating the same thing to him, he pushes you against the wall, unbuttoning his pants as you slip out of yours. His hand entangles into your hair, pulling you towards him lips catching yours, kissing you roughly as he thrusts up into you. You claw at his back begging him to go faster, he gladly obliges to your request, hips bucking up into you harsher at a faster pace.
“The only man you need is me”
He knew others would take advantage of your kindness, what he wasn’t aware of was that you were too oblivious on how your words effected others and the way they pushed up onto you. As you walked into your shared apartment, he would glare down at you with lustful eyes, a smirk etching onto his face.
“Daddy is going to have to teach you a lesson for leading on other men”
Pushes you down on your knees, kneeling you over his leg. Slaps your ass then smoothing his hand over the red mark, repeating that a few times. Bends you over the bed, teasingly rubs his cock over your folds pushing into your opening, slamming his hips into yours. Wraps his hand around your hair, pulling you back into his chest, lips against your ear, whispering deeply.
“Daddy is the only one who can make you cum that hard”
Tae caught the way the man across the table was staring at you, eyes wandering down your shirt and squirming in his seat. Tae was looking at the older man in disgust, wondering how people could be so perverted and creepy, looking at people with desire without the person even knowing. Tae looks at you and begins to see why the man was fascinated by you, your outfit was leaving little to nothing to the imagination and the way you were pushing you elbows together wasn’t helping.
His hand resting on your thigh starts to move upwards, reaching your clothed core his fingers rubbing slightly, the friction of the material of your panties has you biting your lip, the man right in front of you not noticing anything that was happening beneath his nose. You whimper lowly wanting more, Tae moves to your ear and whispers huskily.
“Beg for it”
Excuses you both from the dining table, dragging you to the bathroom, pushing you into the stall and locks it behind him. Lifts you up onto the sink, going under your dress and slipping you out from your panties. Kneels down and pushes your legs apart, licking up your folds then circling around your bud. Walking back to the table, the man looking bewildered from your appearance.
“Huh, there’s something white on my lips, yeah that’s cum”
He knew you were purposely trying to get him mad but he still couldn’t help how it hurt seeing you rub against your co-worker, laugh dramatically at his jokes and grabbed onto his arm, all the emotions piling up would all be taken out on you and that was your plan all along.
Entering your home, Jimin pushes you against the wall, kissing you roughly as you wrap your legs around his waist. Carries you into the room in a hurry, throwing you on the bed. Removes you of your clothes, lips trailing down your body nipping at certain places. Moving back up he captures your lips into a passionate kiss slamming into you, as you gasp he pushes his tongue in feeling around your mouth his tongue swirling around you, his hips continuing to thrust into you deeply.
“Do I have to fuck you into obedience”
Didn’t like how people were staring at you and he would blame it on you for dressing that provocatively, the whole car ride home he would not say one word, the only response you got was the clench of his jaw tightening. Walks into the house not bothering to open either doors for you, when you get inside he is already in the bedroom, door closed.
Right as you step into the room, you are pushed back into the bed, Jungkook is kissing down your neck, nibbling at the crook. Rids you both of your clothes, he strokes his hardened length a few times, then rubbing it over your folds, collecting the slick on his tip. Bucks into you, hips slamming against yours, sounds of skin slapping and your moans mixed with his groans filling the air.
Imagine being one of Negan's wives and Carl having a crush on you, only for your husband to start teasing him about it a little too much
(I turned this from a Daryl to a Negan ome shot as it has been a while since i’ve wrote one for him :3 Especially some fluff! Hope it is as requested and you all like it :3 Gifs not mine/found them on google/credits to the original owners.)
Since you had been so good with your begging and pleas, Negan had decided to take you along to his recent visit to Alexandria.
He called it a date between you and him and it made you laugh to hear him say that, without denying him, you also love the idea of being the only wife for one day.
It had been quite some time since Negan had made a deal with the community there and from what you’ve heard about the place you couldn’t help but want to visit to see it with your very own eyes.
The drive was long enough but you had quite some time to fool around and enjoy the company of Negan.
Upon arrival at the gate, you weren’t disappointed. The walls were high and everything seemed so secure with not even one walker in sight that you just had to make a comment about how drab the Sanctuary looked in comparison.
“Wow…This makes our home look like way crappier than it already does!”
Your husband laughed and shook his head at your comment. Leaning closer, he whispered in your ear, “Really? Better than our sweet home? Do you need me to show you every corner of our place…with my dick inside you…to be reminded of how great it is all again…”
You held in your laughter at his joke and pushed him away from you, asking him to stop as he kept trying to get closer and closer.
He was always like that with you, making crude jokes while you were being innocent for a moment. You like that about him actually and for once it made you forget about what the world had become.
Although, he was this cheerful and in a mood, it came to a stop when the cars themselves stopped. After he stepped out, being a gentleman to you he hand led his hand to help you out of the car.
The gate opened to reveal the people there and with no hesitation you smiled softly as you would usually.
You greeted them and from their expressions, you could tell they hadn’t expected someone like you to be around all of these Saviors.
It felt a little awkward as they got quiet from your bright way of greeting them but nonetheless they acknowledge you, despite it mostly being from the way Negan had glared at them.
You took in the view and your amazement couldn’t be stopped. The houses and the people, truly reminded you of your neighborhood.
Without even asking, you kissed Negan’s cheek and walked passed him, having decided to take a tour on your own, while he and the others went on about their business.
Luckily for you, it was a warm sunny day, making it easy to just wander around. It had been quiet some time since you had seen any other people than the faces you knew, you couldn’t help but smile at each of them.
Suddenly, you took notice of a young boy walking around while pushing a stroller. You knew for a fact, that there must’ve been a baby inside and quickly you made your way towards him.
You just love kids so much, you had to hold the baby, especially since it’s been ages since you’ve seen one.
As you got closer to the boy, you carefully greeted him and smiled.
“Hi…It’s a nice day to take a stroll…”
As Carl heard you, he stopped himself. He looked at you from head to toe and could tell you were probably several years older than him yet nonetheless, you were quite pretty to him.
Not to mention how nicely you were dressed, it made him blush at the thought of how pretty you were, not even for a moment that he thought you were among the Saviors.
He stuttered and looked away, realizing his actions and simply answered, “I-It is!”
You chuckled and approached him, trying to catch a glimpse of inside the stroller. He noticed you and as you looked back up at him, you shrugged and tucked your hair behind your ear.
You saw the child and instantly couldn’t help but let out how cute she was.
“Aw…Is this your little sister?”
He nodded and opened the visor to reveal the cute little blonde girl. He told you her name and signaled you that you could stroke her hair.
“Yeah, she is…Her name’s Judith…”
“Judith…That’s a pretty name…Do you mind if I hold her?”
It unnerved him to hear you and made him realize he had no idea of where you came from. He seemed in deep thought and ended up staring at you even more to check if you had any weapon on you.
He figured things out and nodded at you. “No not at all…Go ahead…”, he said as he stood by and took her out for you.
Your smile grew to see her and even more as you held her in your arms.
“Wow…Such a pretty little girl, you are…Yes you are…look at your small little hands…so cute…”
Compliments from you, kept pouring in as you held the little girl. She was undeniably adorable and from the way she acted with you, she clearly enjoyed you.
She cupped your face and laughed as you playfully shook your head and kept her entertained for quite some time, even earning you a little peck from her.
It surprised Carl to see his little sister get so comfortable with a stranger but still made him smile to look at you both.
“I think she really likes you…”
You turned your attention back to him and nodded along, joking around with him.
“I think so too…She really has good taste in people!”
As he laughed, you then ended up staying by and playing with her for a long while, making Carl grow to trust you.
You both spoke to each other as well and had seem to hit it off well. He thought it was easy to speak to you and couldn’t help but laugh and smile from your genuine humor.
He just felt so comfortable, he had forgotten about his worries for a moment and you had both ended sitting by the porch of his house.
He even noticed how prettier you were and couldn’t stop himself from staring at your features. He blushed every time you would look back at him and even worst when you had praised him for being so brave.
As the time passed, you had notice everyone starting to walk away and decided to get up. You handed him his little sister back and smiling at him, you said, “Well…I guess I have to get back now…My people are about to leave…”
It caught him off guard, you were apart of the Saviors, he couldn’t believe it.
“Y-you’re with them?”
You nodded and ruffled his hair to try and cheer him up from his obvious worried and concern look.
“Don’t worry…Not all of them are bad…”
He liked the way you had touched him and you noticed how hard he blushed from it. It made you smile again and wanting him to trust you, you pecked him quickly on the cheek.
“See you next time, Carl…”
As you said that and were about to walk away, suddenly a familiar voice roared.
“Woah! Holy shit! Carl! Are you trying to steal MY woman!”
It was Negan and he was making his way towards you both rather quickly. He stared at the boy wide eyed and with a rather funny expression, not understanding the situation.
Hearing him, you turned back to look at him and just shook your head, knowing that he was probably going to make some bad jokes about it.
In all honesty, it shocked Carl even more to know that you were with Negan and couldn’t hide his disappointment from him.
“S-She’s with you?”
Negan smirked and approached closer to you, grabbing your waist tightly to him. You stared at him and he stared back at you. He was smirking, oddly it seemed more than genuine and you couldn’t tell if it was because he was having fun or was it because he was admitting to you being his, either way it made your heart skip a beat to see him like that.
“Hell freaking yeah! She’s mine! What did you think?!”
Carl was oddly getting pissed and just didn’t want it to be true that you belong to Negan, especially as he knew you weren’t the only wife he had.
He felt somewhat bad and feeling confident about himself, he got up and faced your man.
“I just didn’t think someone like her would willingly want to be with a psycho like you!”
He nearly spat at Negan and his comment definitely made him laugh. You laughed as well and shook your head.
“Goddamn! Right on! Now that is the badassness I wanted! Wanna fight me for her?”
You rolled your eyes at his comment and grabbed his arm to pull him away.
“Come on Negan…Stop messing around with him…I’m so sorry Carl…”
He didn’t budged and stared at the boy for a long while with his big grin, wide eyed and realized something. He kept blushing and staring at you, making him understand that he certainly grew to have a crush on you.
However, he had also witness you pecking on his cheek and knew that also had to be another reason behind his redness.
Instead of leaving him alone, he leaned backwards and made another comment to see his reaction.
“Are you still blushing? Oh come on! You’re supposed to be a badass…Not a blushing boy… Don’t tell me it was that kiss…Come on when a hot woman, like Y/N, kisses you, you don’t lose your balls like that! If you’re going to steal my woman might as well be worthy of it, kid!”
He kept egging him on and you just felt bad for him and even more when your husband mentioned the young boy’s missing eye.
“Tell me…Did you show her…Your awesome missing eye…You know…The socket…the dried up blood…”
You could see that from his words, Carl suddenly was shying away from him. His head dropped down and himself trying to cover his bandage with his hair as Negan kept getting closer.
“Don’t be like that! Show her your eye! You like her don’t you! If you do then show her what you are and who you really are! A psychopathic future serial killer with a disgusting eye…That’s who you are…”
His nose was now crinkling and you knew he was more than on the verge of tears, and that you couldn’t handle it, the idea of child crying was a little too much for you.
You pulled Negan back and went closer to Carl. Turning towards your old man, you crossed your arms and sternly told him, “Alright, enough Negan…You’re making him cry…It’s not funny anymore…”
As Carl heard you, he figured you would side with him even more if he gave you a real show and just decided to go with it. He teared up even more and as you heard him, you turned to look at him to wrap your arm around his shoulder.
You pulled him closer and with your other hand you wiped his tears away. It made Negan instantly jealous and suddenly he stood up straight, trying to ask you to come back to him.
“It’s okay Carl…Don’t listen to him…He’s always like that…”
He nodded and you felt his breathing being ragged. It tore you up even more and stroking his hair, you looked him in the eye and said, “You don’t need to worry so much about your eye…You’re a charming young man…That’s just a little scar, don’t let it be your weakness and bring you down…Especially not from a big man child like Negan!”
You shot your gaze back at him and he looked shocked. It made you smirk to see him that way and as you looked back at Carl, you noticed him nodding and wiping his tears away.
“Thank you, Y/N…”, he mumbled under his breath. It made you feel oddly warm to cheer him up that way and you couldn’t resist to peck him on the cheek again and pull him into a hug as you said your goodbyes. His sister cheered him up as well with her own hug and you all stayed in a little embrace for a moment, making your husband more than jealous of the situation.
“Don’t mention it…See you next time…Okay…”, you said as you stroked his hair back and cupped his cheek for a moment.
You then looked back at Negan and crossing your arms, said, “And you mister! No more teasing him like that…he’s not yours to torment!”
He couldn’t find anything to say and as you approached him he opened his mouth, only for you to push him away and walk pass him.
You were being playful with him and laughed as he called your name from behind. He turned back to look at Carl and noticed him smiling.
He had thought of apologizing for it but seeing him like that, dumbfounded him and pointing towards him, he said,“Wh-Why the hell are you smiling? Y-you were a mess earlier…”
Carl shrugged and feeling bold told him, “I was…But you know…I can pretend…and I got Y/N to cheer me up…She kissed my cheek twice…She hugged me…and most importantly she picked me over you…”
And with that, he turned back to walk in his house, leaving Negan shocked behind.
It made him stutter out, “Y-you! You tricked her! Unfair! Hey come back out!”
In a slight panic, he ran back towards you and started acting like a pouty and grumpy kid.
“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Wait for me!”
He was quite fast and surprised you as he stood near you. Walking with you towards the cars, he held your arm and reported to you what had happened.
“Carl lied to you! He was faking it! The tears and everything else!”
You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head to hear him. You just had a feeling Negan was being petty and acting like that just to get your attention.
“Yeah right…Your words and attitude really didn’t get under a young boy’s skin…Jeez Negan…Like i’d ever believe that…”
“B-but- He admitted it!”
“No buts mister…I’ve seen you make grown men and women cry like that from your unnecessary comments…so a young teenager is no exception…”
He frowned even more and looked away from you, he just couldn’t believe you weren’t siding with him.
You laughed to check on him and decided to cheer him back up as you got nearer to the cars.
“Are you seriously jealous of a teenager, Negan?”
He looked back at you and seemed to hesitate between yes and no. You sighed and cupped his face and told him, “Well you shouldn’t…I love you…Not anyone else…”
At those words, his smile came back and he chuckled. Shrugging out of excitement, he held your hands in his and asked you, “Really?”
“Yes, really…Now stop acting like a baby…and get over it…”
He bit his lip and ended up nodding in agreement until you added more.
“Also…No more teasing him like that…I know you were trying to be playful…But that’s not the way to get to know a kid at first…Maybe when you get closer, you can start teasing and roasting him like that…”
He looked up and down and took a deep breath before looking back into your eyes. He reluctantly nodded and ended up agreeing.
“Fine…i’ll try…I won’t hurt his little feelings…”
“That’s good to hear…”
You nodded along and pecked him on the lips to hear his answer. You stared at each other with a smile and about to laugh, only for him to add a little something.
“Yeah…but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep my eyes off of him from now on whenever you’re around…”
As you opened the door to get in the car, you stood still for a moment and tilted your head to the side as you asked him to explain.
“What do you mean by that?”
He seemed taken aback and ended staying by the open car door just as you before answering you in his loud voice.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?! Y/N it’s been the subject matter since the freaking beginning! He clearly has some weird fucking crush on you! Did you see the way he looked at you?!”
You laughed at his meaning and knew it was the perfect moment to tease him about it.
“Negan, language! And…Of course I noticed! It’s me we were talking about…Of course that was bound to happen…I just have that magic on every guy!”
You wiggled your eyebrows at him and smirk mischievously, leaving him hanging as you stepped in the car.
He followed you and was trying to convince you of never coming back to make sure Carl wasn’t going to have his hopes up, only for you to laugh and be adamant about coming back and keeping the promise you made to the young man, making him get frustrated again.
Anon asked “Can you do a Bucky Smut fic where the reader just moved back to town and is reunited with Bucky after not seeing each other for a long time and they’re old best friends and always had feelings for each other they just never acted on them because they were scared. Sorry is that doesn’t make sense!! You’re literally the only author that makes the best smut stories ever because you use gifs with them😂🙈”
A/N: This was fun to write considering a had a similar thing happen…apart from the sex part. Let me know if you want to be tagged here.
Summary: Being Sam Winchester’s Omega was wonderful… when he was actually there. Yes, he was kind and loving, but he’d spend weeks away from you, only stopping by when he needed to. Two years of living on the outskirts of Sam’s life is starting to take its toll. Pairing: Alpha!SamxOmega!Reader Words: 4704 (whoa) Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics. Pining (is that a warning?). Talk of sex. AN: The long awaited sequel for Reluctant Rejection!!! There will be a third part. I promise you, it will be a lot shorter than this… this one got out of hand XD Anywhooo, hope you enjoy it! I have some worries that I may have waffled, but @skybinx-blog assures me otherwise… Constructive Criticism Welcome!!!
The damn thermos was the only thing that was still the same.
After you’d made Sam leave, you’d spent the best part of two
weeks just living on the couch. You’d had no energy to drag yourself far, and
the sofa put you equidistant to the fridge and the bathroom, meaning you didn’t
really have much need to move. With shaking limbs, you’d decided that enough
was enough. You had to keep living
your life, and that meant moving on from your Alpha, even if he had been your
So, you fell into a routine to try and keep you grounded.
Wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Unfortunately, you had no idea if it would
have worked, because it didn’t take long for your heat to hit once again. This
time there was no Sam walking through your door to comfort you, no Sam to wrap
his arms around you and hold you close, no Sam to show you how much he loved
You’d never felt agony like it. Sure, heats had always
sucked ass, but what you experienced was far beyond any pain they’d caused you
before you’d met Sam. There was no need to seek out an explanation for it,
though. You knew it was because your whole being was craving your Alpha.
What you also realised during this time was that Sam’s scent
was saturated into every part of your house. Sure, it might have been vaguely
faded, but it was there, and in your sensitive state you’d torn up a large part
of your home in an effort to seek it out, desperate for something more
substantial than a weak scent clinging to your mattress. Once you were over the
worst of it, you started on your next endeavour to move on.
You gutted your house.
There was no way you wanted to suffer like you had during
your last heat, and so you did what you had to. All things that you knew you
would never rid of Sam’s warm smell was to be tossed out. Your mattress and all
your bedding went first, quickly followed by your sofa and curtains, and then
the carpets. Even the doormat that Sam himself had bought you got tossed out,
only pausing briefly to look at the strange pentagram that you spotted on its
underside, painted on in a colour that was just
off from the mat’s colour. Unnerved slightly with this discovery, you pressed
Everything that you kept went through a serious cleaning. No
surface went un-scrubbed, and you painstakingly re-varnished all the wooden
Not to mention you decided that, with new furniture and a
new life, you would rearrange everything and have a new layout. This brought to
surface the second thing that unnerved you… the little fabric pouches that
started popping up in random places.
Regardless, you persevered, and soon it looked as though
you’d moved into a new house.
My darling @blacktofade‘s birthday was, uh, two months ago, so here I am, ten years late with her birthday present. ILU BB!! If this lil au seems like it should be a full-length fic, that’s because it desperately tried to be, and I had to keep chopping at it to keep it under control, like some kind of rouge hedge on meth. (Now on AO3!)
In the hours after the fight, Stiles drives and drives and drives. At first it’s late, and then it’s so late that it’s early, but he keeps on driving, fueled by anger, mostly in silence, though somewhere around the middle of Pennsylvania he thaws enough to put on some music. He stops at a rest stop just past the Ohio border to get a breakfast sandwich, and as he sits at a dirty table and eats, he thinks: shit.
Doubt begins creeping into his thoughts; maybe he’d been too hasty. Maybe he should have given Jay a chance to explain - but no, no, fuck that. He’d always made it really fucking clear that if their relationship ever got to the point where cheating seemed like a good option, he’d rather just be broken up with and yet look what fucking happened. Stiles scoffs scornfully, chucking the wrapper to his sandwich in a nearby trash can. Two and a half years down the drain.
Refreshed by a new wave of anger, Stiles heads back to his car and gets back on the highway. He manages to wrangle his phone from his pocket and, ignoring the multiple text and missed call notifications, he calls his dad, who picks up with a sigh.
“You know what time it is?” his dad asks, and Stiles looks at his dash guiltily. He’s been so worked up that he forgot about the time difference - or the fact that even on the east coast, it’s early, the sun barely above the horizon.
“Sorry,” Stiles says with a wince. “I’ll call back later.”
“It’s fine,” Dad says with another sigh. “I just got home from an overnight shift. Everything all right? You’re not usually up before ten.”
Stiles opens his mouth and then closes his mouth, startled by the raw ache in his eyes.
“Stiles?” his dad presses, somehow gentle and sharp at the same time; Stiles is worrying him.
“I’m - ” Stiles clears his throat, tapping his fingers against the wheel. “Um. How would you feel about me moving home for a while?”
This is totally rushed and emotionally charged and probably has errors but enjoy
Jughead trudged home, the energy sapped from his body as the crushing weight of reality pushed further onto his shoulders. He couldn’t believe it: Mr. Phillips, the one person at Southside who had appeared to take genuine interest in Jughead, was the Sugarman. As if he didn’t have enough going against him.
He walked up the steps to the trailer, quickly slamming open the door and preparing to head straight for the fridge when he realized that the door should have been locked.
He looked up, surprised to find a very nervous looking Betty Cooper standing in his living room. Quickly glancing down to check her fists, a habit he would need to work on letting go, Jughead breathed a small sigh of relief to find her fingernails free of her palms.
The relief was short lived, however, as an uncomfortable tension settled between them.
“What are you doing here?”
His voice was rough, a combination of anger and exhaustion giving his tone a darker coloring. Betty took a nervous breath, and he couldn’t help but feel a small sense of satisfaction as her eyes clouded with apprehension. She should be on edge. She didn’t belong here, not after she made it very clear that she was too good for Serpent trash like him.
“Jug, there’s something I need to tell you.” She took a small step forward, to which Jughead parried with a small step back. He watched as her lips, once warm and lush and pink, tightened into a thin white line.
“What? Are you here to tell me that you still love me again?” He crossed his arms across his chest, releasing a laugh that contained absolutely no humor. “Pretty sure you’ve already poured enough salt on that wound for one week, thanks.”
He moved into the kitchen, hoping that if he just walked away maybe she would get the message and let herself out. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He already had so much going wrong this week.
Of course, in typical Betty Cooper fashion, she didn’t leave. Instead she followed him toward the kitchen, leaning over the counter as she watched his back.
“Jughead, please. I need to tell you the truth. There are things you don’t know.”
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” Jughead mumbled beneath his breath, opening the fridge and pretending to survey it’s decidedly empty shelves.
He didn’t even have to look up to know Betty had furrowed her brow, “What does that mean?” She asked, her voice hardening just a bit.
He closed the fridge, looking her dead in the eye with as cold an expression as he could manage.
“Toni and I kissed. More than once.”
He wasn’t sure why he said it - maybe because he wanted to hurt her like she’d hurt him, or because he wanted to prove to her that he was fine without her. Something inside him told him it was more likely that he was simply incapable of keeping such truth from her. Absolutely none of him felt any better when he saw the pain in her eyes.
“Oh.” She whispered, her eyes flickering down to the floor, “Did it - I mean - Did it mean anything?”
Jughead shrugged, “What does it matter? You broke up with me, remember?”
“I did it to protect you!” Betty’s voice rose suddenly, before quickly finding its way back down to a whisper, “I did it to protect you.”
Jughead sighed, backing out of the kitchen to meet Betty on the other side of the dividing wall, “From what? The Serpents? Newsflash - you’re a little late.” He pushed up the sleeve of his t-shirt, revealing the black and green ink that hid underneath. Betty’s eyes widened, just a bit, but she quickly composed herself. Not that it mattered - he knew she was judging him. “Go ahead,” He growled, “Say it - say what you’re thinking. Say all the things you sent Archie to.”
“Jughead that’s not - What Archie said, none of it was true.” Betty looked up at him, her glassy green eyes searching his for even a semblance of understanding. “I told you I would support you, and I meant it. I still do.”
Jughead was reeling with emotion. Why did she have to be here? Saying these stupid things in that stupid soft voice of hers and looking at him with those stupid eyes. His whole body ached just thinking about her, her very presence leaving him feeling like an addict who had just been offered one last hit. He wanted her out, wanted the pain to just stop, but he took one last mistaken look at her crumpled appearance and couldn’t stop his heart from faltering.
“If what Archie said wasn’t true, then why would you break up with me? Why would you -” Jughead’s voice gave out, his throat tightening as he attempted to hold back his emotions, “Why would you take away the only good thing I had left?”
“Jughead,” Betty stepped forward, reaching out to stroke his face on instinct before realizing better and pulling away.
“Just tell me what is going on Betty.” He was practically pleading now, desperate to know why she had left him. Why, if she never wanted to see him again, she had insisted on helping with the drag race and jumped in his car to ensure they both escaped the police safely. Why, if she really didn’t want him to be a part of his life anymore, she would tell him she still loved him.
Betty took a deep breath, and Jughead braced himself for whatever was about to come next.
“The Black Hood - he contacted me.”
“With the letter, I know.”
Betty shook her head, “The letter was just the beginning. Last week, I started getting these phone calls. He’s been calling me, threatening me, threatening Polly and Veronica, threatening…”
“Me?” Jughead asked, the pieces in his mind slowly clicking together. He couldn’t believe he had been stupid. He had been too distracted by his insecurities and his anger to recognize what had been going on. He hadn’t even questioned it when Archie had appeared at his door, hadn’t even doubted that Betty was abandoning him. He’d just left her at the mercy of a psychopath. “Oh God, Betty -”
“Please,” Betty started, “forgive me Jughead. I… I understand if you want to be with Toni, if she makes you happy, but I don’t think I can live with myself if you don’t forgive me.”
She looked so small standing in front of him, so vulnerable and so very unlike the Betty Cooper he had fallen for. She had sacrificed so much for him, he couldn’t believe he’d been so selfish.
“Betty,” Jughead rushed forward, capturing her cheeks in his hands and pressing his lips in a bruising kiss. She released a slight sob against his lips, quickly grasping on to the fabric of his shirt and relaxing against him. He breathed her in, the fog that had been surrounding him lifting and giving way to a buzz of pure adrenaline. When pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers and wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “I’m so so sorry. I can’t believe I didn’t even notice -”
“No, Jughead - it’s my fault.” Betty placed a hand over his heart, “If I had just talked to you -”
“We should have talked to each other.” He reached up and took her hand into his own, melding his fingers with hers and wishing he could never let go, “I shouldn’t have just taken Archie at his word. I should have fought for you -”
Betty cut him off with a kiss, softer than the first but just as full. “Let’s just forget all of it, okay?” She smiled at him, that wonderful Betty Cooper smile. It hadn’t even been a week, but oh how he’d missed that smile.
If love were a drug, Betty Cooper was, without a doubt, the most addictive of them all.
“I love you.” He whispered against her chin, slowly tracing kisses along her jawline as his fingers trailed around her waist. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”
Betty captured his face in her hands, bringing his eyes up to meet her own. They were brighter than before, shining exactly the way he remembered them at night. “I love you too.” She said, her lips brushing against his with every syllable, before crashing down into him once more.