i made bad decisions last night


“Y/N please! You have to know that it meant nothing - she meant nothing to me! Please, just let me explain. Let me make it up to you. I promise I’ll never hurt you again. Please, I love you.” Hvitserk begged. He had been practically grovelling at your feet for the last hour after you had returned home. Your hair was knotted and your cheeks flushed from your encounter with Ivar but you husband hadn’t even noticed, and if he did, he hadn’t mentioned it.

“No Hvitserk. You are my husband and I am your wife. We are married. You promised you would be faithful to me. I-I thought your days of womanising were over. It turns out I was wrong.” You replied bitterly, your tone cold and emotionless. You had promised yourself that no matter what he did, you would not take him back. If he loved you like he said he did then he wouldn’t have strayed from you. He was a creature of habit it seemed.

“They are, I swear. I was drunk and she came up to me! It wasn’t my fault, you have to believe me!” He pleaded and you only scoffed, unable to believe anything he was saying.

“It takes two Hvitserk. You still made that decision, drunk or not, and you still ripped my heart out of my chest.” Your eyes were watering and you were willing yourself not to cry with everything you had. You were determined not to let the scum you called your husband see you cry.

“Please Y/N, don’t do this.” Hvitserk pleaded once more, running over and gripping you shoulders, looking at you as you averted your eyes.

“I want to meet her.” You stated plainly. The man across from you looked taken aback and he raised his eyebrows confused.

“Why? What does she matter?”

“I want to speak to her. Get her side of the story. And if it turns out she did what she did willingly, I want her to know she ruined a marriage.”

“Come on Y/N, she doesn’t matter. This is between you and me.”

“Take me to her now Hvitserk.” You demanded and he reluctantly nodded and handed you your coat. He led you out the door and down to the barn where the slaves would be before they began their work. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on the pretty blonde girl from the night before. She looked surprised and happy when he approached her but her expression changed to one of shock and fear when she saw you advancing on her.

“Hello Princess.” She greeted respectfully, ducking her head as you stood in front of her.

“Did he coerce you?” You bluntly asked. She looked confused for a second before she replied quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes Princess. He was drunk and his hands began to roam, I could not do anything in fear of punishment. I knew if I resisted I may not have a choice int he matter. I am so sorry Princess.”

You looked over to your soon to be ex-husband and stared at him as he looked down shamefully. “I was drunk Y/N. Please don’t let this change things.” He muttered, though he didn’t seem to believe anything would change your mind now that you knew the truth. He knew what was coming.

“I want a divorce.” You said loud and clear. There were a few gasps that emerged from the barn but you ignored them. “We’ll see Lagertha this evening and settle it.” Without another word you turned and exited the barn, walking away with your head held high and heading towards nowhere. You were lost in thought about your future when you heard a voice from behind you.

“Ah, Y/N? What’s got you so angry. Did Hvitserk not buy you a nice enough present to say sorry?” He asked mockingly, his voice harsh and cruel. He was bitter about the night before, that was evident. You turned around swiftly and shocked him. Your eyes were cold and you looked broken though so put together at the same time.

“I demanded a divorce.” You told him, watching as his handsome features rose in shock. “Just in case you wanted to know.” You finished off sarcastically.

“What? Why Y/N? Don’t you love him? You obviously love him so much that you stopped what was happening last night.”

“I stopped what we were doing because it was wrong, not because of him. I needed time to think and evaluate the situation before I made any rash decisions again.” You told him defensively, beginning to walk away.

“Again? What, was I a rash decision? A momentary lapse in judgement?” he questioned angrily, his feelings hurt. He had always admired you and wished that you looked at him the way you used to look at Hvitserk, but alas, you only had eyes for one.

“You were never a bad choice Ivar. A stupid one maybe, but do I regret it? No.”

Ivar was shocked once again and once he didn’t answer after a moment, you turned and left. Ivar didn’t bother chasing after you. He was too stunned. You didn’t regret what had happened, but what did that mean for you and Ivar?

And another one down, more to go! Gif credit to @suirisblack

author’s note// hey guys i made a really bad decision last night but here’s a bullet imagine, and i don’t know much about having hearing aids, so most of this information i’m getting from my friend who has them and google, so if i say something incorrect please message me and i can correct it!!


  • You are hard of hearing, not completely deaf
  • So when you meet Shawn, he actually thought that you were like shunning him but you couldn’t really hear what he was saying and you had your hearing aids turned off 
  • But when you turned and saw he was desperately trying to talk to you, 
  • You explained, since you were able to talk, that you were hard of hearing and you had your hearing aids turned off, so his talking basically sounded like mumbling 
  • Shawn profusely apologized, and everything from then on was history
  • Shawn was SUPER DUPER like, good about it. He picked up on ASL pretty quickly, knowing that he can’t only rely on you to read his lips or try really hard to make out what he says 
  • After a year or so, he was fluent and while sometimes you did just talk regularly, ASL was a big part of your communication, since he wanted to make things easier for you
  • OKAY so like the conversation started because he desperately wanted to be able to say “I love you” in the way you understood best!
  • i’m sorry that’s freaking adorable
  • He was literally so understanding, like if you couldn’t quite understand what he was saying or even signing he would never get frustrated, he would keep going until you understood, and you never made one another feel stupid for it
  • And since you liked the idea of being able to talk, since it is somewhat difficult to be able to speak clearly when you can’t hear all that well, Shawn helped you with that
  • He never pressured you to do it, and he was SUPER patient, since it was a bit of a trial and error process 
  • He also like, shut down any and every single person that made a snide comment about your hearing aids 
  • Like, fans would talk to you because you were Shawn’s girlfriend and stuff and most were very understanding with the fact that if you were going to be able to communicate, they’d have to stand in front of you and speak clearly
  • Some where NOT!
  • Some said some very rude about it, saying Shawn shouldn’t have started dating a disabled girl, as if it were a huge burden and someone of such high social stature should never stoop down to that
  • Which is wrong, so Shawn put those girls in their place, saying it is simply a part of their relationship that is only their business, it isn’t a problem and it is barely a challenge, because he never had difficulty with dating a girl who was hard of hearing, it was a learning opportunity for both parties
  • Like seriously, he would say that. If they were extra rude, he’d go off.
  • He didn’t care about the reputation he got for going off on fans for making fun of your disability, he loved you and he was not going to have people doing that
  • i mean, overall, there were only little changes from a traditional relationship. shawn watched shows with subtitles on them anyways, since he could barely understand what actors were saying, it was more of a learning curve. 
  • shawn is such a good mans i want him to be my boyfriend thank u

author’s note// this was short cause like idk,,,, i am not by any means knowledgeable on the topic!! so yeah!!! my blog is going to shit!!

Misunderstandings Pt. 5

Genre: Angst (SFW for now)

Pairing: Jumin Han x MC/Reader/You

a/n: We hope you guys like part 5! This is the final part of the main plot. It’s kind of bittersweet to end this as it’s our first fanfic. The very last part, part 6, will be almost entirely smut.  It’s under the cut as usual. Here’s part 1, part 2 , part 3part 4, part 6.

You were finally back in his arms. 

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anonymous asked:

everyone is talking about how Bayern has been robbed and how the ref has been a disaster in last night's game, and I mean.. yeah Cris' second goal was offside, there's no debate about that. But we scored two more so we didnt win on an offside goal, and in the first leg Bayern got a penalty, which although they missed could have given them a major advantage even though in my opinion it wasnt even a penalty? so idk I mean the ref made bad decisions but that wasnt the deciding facor for our win(1/2

(2/2) and I’m really tired about everyone talking about it as if it was

S A M E!!! And we don’t even have to go as far as Cristiano’s second goal, because the game should have not gone into extra time. When Hummels passes the ball to Muller before the own goal, Muller is offside. The OG should not have counted because the play should have stopped before Sergio even had to touch the ball. Would have finished 1-1, Real would have gone through. A lot of people can argue that Vidal should have been sent off a lot sooner as well. + the non existent penalty in the first leg, that, yes, they didn’t score, but still… it was a beneficial ref call. You can name as many cases of Bayern benefiting from bad ref decisions as you can of Real. The second leg especially was all around really badly officiated. In general, both teams benefited from unjust calls. Yes, Bayern were robbed but so were we some times.

But exactly like you said, if you take away all the ref decisions we still dominated, we played better, and we scored 3 more goals. Even if u take away Cris’ second goal, we still would have won.

But you know how this works… someway somehow we never deserve to go on. Be it because we played against a weak team or because we bought the ref. They always find ways to take away our credit but in the end we’re the ones lifting the 11 cups so 🤷


in new york, you can be a new man :: on the last day and night of killian’s run in kinky boots on broadway, a small celebration of NYC muppetry, trips to DC and LA, and general wonder.


One of the best trips i’ve been on so far! I felt like a kid in a candy store the entire time. BC made me completely comfortable and made sure I was always happy :) we stayed at the best hotel & our suite had a huge terrance which I absolutely loved. This place was heaven. Like that was the view from my room– Absolutely gorgeous.

While I was getting ready for our first night together… he expressed that he is sexually monogamous with his wife for safety and intimacy reasons. So we slept in two different rooms with an adjoining living room… but he got me a “lil’ something” to make up for the lack of intimacy :$ (kind of disappointing because my luggage was 50% lingerie smh). 

The allowance we agreed upon was 2,000 at the end of the trip but on the second last day I woke up to an extra $1,000 shoved in my purse after he came back from a drunken night out with friends :p if I include the bit of shopping money I got before and during the trip it’s a total of 3,600! Damn, not bad BC ;)

I’m ecstatic that I made the decision to go, I took a HUGE leap of faith and it was well worth it :)

Home for Christmas (Newt Scamander X Reader)

Requested: No

Word Count: 1 437

A/N: Happy Holidays!


“There has to be another way…” you say, rubbing your temples with frustration. You gaze down at the fireplace that smelled of burned wood and ashes. Amongst the flames you saw the face of the love of your life; the one and only Newt Scamander. “I want to spend our first Christmas together with you!”

“(Y/N), I want you to be here as much as a Niffler wants to get its paws on gold, but we have spent Christmases together before.” he says calmly, his face looking distressed even through the flames. Your hand reached out to caress his face when you stop, reminding yourself that you’d get burned.

“But not as a couple, this was supposed to be special. Why did I decide to come to New York without you in the first place?” you had left England a week ago, wanting to visit Tina and Queenie once before the holidays and you learned a lot about their traditions during your stay. Newt on the other hand, stayed at the house you shared, catching up on his studies. You had tried to convince him to come with you but he had made his final decision, but maybe it had been for the best, considering what happened in New York the last time he came.
However, today was the day you were scheduled to go back home but there had been a terrible blizzard the night before, blocking the roads and any sort of transportation.

“None of us knew that this massive snow storm was coming. We never even imagined that it would be so bad that they would cancelled all flights and ships in the area, both here and there.”

“I could Apparate there! It has been done before, it technically isn’t impossible-” you start but you slowly trail off when Newt gives you an extremely alarmed look.

“Absolutely not! It’s too great of a distance! Sure it’s been done before but there aren’t any situations which don’t involve wizards severed from their body parts!” he states, his voice raising slightly.


“I’d rather wait a year to see you again than see you being rushed to a hospital! And if that doesn’t kill you, then I will, you shouldn’t be doing dangerous things like that! I forbid you to do that or even consider it again!”

You sigh, pouting. It was true, there were no instances where a wizard would arrive at their destination in one piece but it was worth a shot, you’d try anything to be next to Newt again. But clearly this wasn’t even an option, Newt being the overprotective boyfriend and all. Then again, you’d probably feel the same way if it was him.

“Alright, I understand your concerns.” you say and his tense face started to relax. “Have any other ideas? Maybe I could fly there-”

“(Y/N), all the planes are cancelled.”

“On a broom?”

He gives you another look, raising his eyebrows. A look that was usually aimed towards the Niffler.

“No. That’s dangerous, you won’t even be able to see where you are going, much less survive the cold.”

“So that probably crosses out flying there as an owl…” you laugh nervously, your ideas were just getting worse by the second.

“Just because you’re now a registered Animagus, doesn’t mean you should be flying in that form to the other side of the world!”

“I’m pretty fast…”

“No (Y/N), I’m not risking it.” he sighs, and he forced a smile on his face. “You’re so reckless, you’re going to give me a heart attack if you keep up these insane ideas. I love you and I don’t want you to risk yourself for me.”

“I would risk myself for you, for us.”

“As I would for you, which is why I’m preventing you from doing dangerous things.”

“Pfft, coming from you, you hurt yourself all the time.” you whine playfully.

“And I know the pain, it hurts. But nothing hurts more than to see the look on your face when I get hurt, as if I’m transferring all my pain to you. So if you really want to do something for me, for us, don’t hurt yourself.” he looks at you with nothing but love and your heart melts at his words. He cared about you so much.

“Alright, you win. I won’t hurt myself…that much.” you smile and he rolls his eyes slightly, making you giggle.

“That’s all I can ask for.” he says, brushing his hair out of his face, his curls looking luminous through the flames.

“Oh idea!” you say happily, jumping to your feet.

“I’m all ears.”

“Floopowder!” you reply, searching around for the green powder in the Goldstein sisters’ small apartment.

“Hmm, I don’t see why not. Do you have any?”

“No, I don’t think they have any left. And there’s no way I’ll be able to go get any, the roads are covered in snow and the doors are frozen shut or caved in.” you answer, your search ceasing as you slump back down next to the fireplace. “It’s hopeless. I’m sorry Newt, I guess I really won’t be home for Christmas.”

“Well, at least you’ll be safe and warm,” he says, looking disappointed. “I miss you, but we’ll see each other in a matter of days, count on it. I love you.”

“I love you too.” you say, blinking tears out of your eyes.

“Merry Christmas, love.”

And with that his face disappeared from the flames, leaving you feeling more alone than before.
You stand up and shake yourself off. You grab your packed luggage and shrug on your coat. Quickly, you write a note for Tina and Queenie and leave it on the counter so they would see it when they came back.
You take your wand out of your coat pocket and grip it tightly, letting yourself take huge gulps of air.
Your knew you promised Newt that you weren’t going to do it, but you had no choice. You were doing this.
Shutting your eyes, you focus on the inside of Newt’s case, the place you thought of home, not only because it was beautiful but because you knew that Newt would be there.
You take another deep breath, and Apparate.


You hesitantly open your eyes and check to make sure that you had all your limbs. You let out a sigh of relief, realizing that you were perfectly normal.
You analyze your surroundings and you almost jump with joy, you were inside Newt’s case, right in front of his shed. You had made it. You felt extremely accomplished, but also extremely tired, you had just managed to do something that no one had ever done in history.

“The power of love…” you hum to yourself, feeling very giddy.

Leaving your bags where they were, you remove your coat and then slowly open the door to the shed, wanting to surprise Newt. You didn’t care if he’d pounce on you for doing something so dangerous, you just wanted to hug him.

Slowly creeping inside you hear him talking to Pickett at his desk, his head against one hand and holding the little Bowtruckle in the other. Just seeing his figure made your exhaustion slip away.

“Yes, I miss her too Pickett, but it’s for the best. At least I know she’s safe.” he murmurs to the Bowtruckle, sighing gently.

“Well, wait no more, I’m here!” you say, surprising the both of them.

Newt turns and his face lights up with a smile as he jumps out of his chair and literally crashes into you, wrapping you in a hug. The two of you are laughing like idiots as you jump around happily, exchanging overdue hugs and kisses.

“I can’t believe it! Please, tell me I’m not dreaming.” he says, looking at you lovingly.

“You’re not, I’m right here. I told you I would be home for Christmas.” you say happily, snuggling into his warm chest, his familiar scent was comforting.

“Erm, not to break this amazing moment but how did you get here?” he asks, starting to look suspicious.

“Umm, I might or might not have Apparated…”


“But I didn’t!” you say with a childlike grin. He shakes his head, looking bewildered. “Besides, I know you’re happy to see me.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“You could kiss me.”

“You’re hopeless-” he starts but you rise on to your tiptoes and you press your lips against his, silencing him with a sweet kiss.

“But so am I. And I’m absolutely thrilled that you’re here, in one piece.”

I went off campus for the first time since the high Neo Nazi with a gun situation because I was out of food, and I managed to work myself into a panic while waiting for the bus at the store get me out of here I want to go home

i’m not going to liken the atmosphere to a war zone because that’s Bad, but a lot of professors have made the executive decision to just cancel the last two weeks of classes and student housing is emptying fast. student-led patrols at night led to baseball bat violence against other students. the white supremacist group from the Portland demonstration on Sunday could roll in any day.

people are getting hurt, and no one cares. all they see is a chance to go “ahah! reverse racism is real! the left is eating its own!”

last night i rewatched the force awakens & it was the best decision i have made in ages!!! i spent the whole time either smiling stupidly or crying

Someone [pt. 3]

You know what you need after watching Texas 3? Some Lucaya fanfiction. Part 1, Part 2.

She wakes up curled into a ball, sunlight streaming onto her face. The world is flaming red behind her closed eyelids, and she groans. Her mother bought blackout drapes the day they moved in, neither of them were early risers. She must have forgotten to put them down. Without opening her eyes, she crawls out of bed, then promptly trips and falls straight onto her face.

“Shit!” She mutters, rubbing her forehead. She blinks against the brightness, and as her eyes adjust she realizes she isn’t in her room at all.

“Wha’s happening?!” Lucas shoots up in bed, rubbing his eyes and staring around the room. His gaze falls on Maya, sitting on the floor, and he raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing?” He asks.

“What does it look like? I’m sitting on the floor.” She mumbles, still rubbing her head. Her eyes are actually watering a little from the impact. He takes that in with concern.

“Are you alright?”

She waves him off.

“I’m fine. I was trying to close the blinds.”

He glances at the window, then back at her.

“I don’t have blinds.”

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Brothers Conflict - 2nd Season VOL 5 - Ch. 38 REPEAT Translation

Okay so this is the entire translation of Yusuke’s repeat chapter 38. 
I translated this entirely on my own (with some help from my brother) and revised it as best as I could. I’m sorry if there are some inaccuracies or typos. I tried my best to make it sound good or even make enough sense. I’ve never attempted to translate so much directly from a novel. I’ll probably do the epilogue next when Ema moves out (In Ema’s POV).

I also included what was already translated since its part of the chapter. But I did a couple revisions to it since I have the full text. Anyway, the text is under the cut! I put a * in front of a few translation notes.

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crisswift  asked:

Honestly, when I seen that he just disappeared, my first thought was "I hope nothing bad happened to him or his family." Clearly being in Miami is better than something sad happening, but it's clearly, unavoidably, unprofessional. If you need to leave a work thing because you're sick or something's going on in your personal life, that's cool! Some stuff is more important. But this was pre-planned and trivial, even if it wasn't, why not be upfront? Why not offer even a tweeted apology? It's rude.

Honestly, I really really really try to be open minded with Darren. I literally look the other way when he lies on a daily basis to his fans (as do we all).  I constantly excuse him and say its because he is surrounded by toxic people and still obligated contractually. I rarely, rarely place the blame on his firmly on his shoulders.  But when I got home last night and saw he was having wine in Miami, I was outraged. And honestly not as much for myself. But for the people who made an effort to be at that event and to see him. The fans that were promised 3 panels over the weekend.

Because to me, this blunder, to me there is no excuse. And I don’t care if it was lack of communication or a misunderstanding.  That is Darren’s responsibility to know and understand his commitments to fans.  The fans that pay his salary as well as the salary of the horrific people he has assembled to support him. 

I am not kidding when I say, people waited by the Elsie Table for hours to see him. And their belief he was coming was based on a tweet sent by the Elsie Fest Twitter account. It was not based on hope. It was based on a statement made by Elsie Fest.  Who are direct representatives of Darren.  So it is utterly and completely unprofessional to not only not show, but to fail to tweet again and say, hey we got it wrong, Darren isn’t able to stop by the table. And the two people running the table, who handled it amazingly, got the brunt of it. They had the fans asking over and over. And had NO INFORMATION FROM MANAGEMENT.  NONE.  On Friday, it was arranged that Darren would go to that table after the Speech and Debate panel.  And he just never showed.  It was completely disrespectful to a whole host of people. Yes fans. But also the people at his table who had to deal with the fans. And to the Broadway Con staff who were planning for the chaos that would certainly have ensued of he came.

And honestly worse to me was the no show for the evening panel on Saturday night. I understand the Friday Night Cabaret was canceled due to contract issues. So no fault there.  But why was he not at the 9:00 PM panel?  The one scheduled as he missed his 10:00 AM panel as his flight got into New York too late.  Because he was over scheduled and in Vancouver shooting a TV show. I am not kidding you when I say, the room for the 9:00 panel was full, FULL of Darren fans. And they were just the obvious ones wearing their Darren swag. And yes, many of us were concerned. We knew he was exhausted. Immediately the buzz was, what happened to Darren. Why did he not show? Is he ok?  And that is why, there was radio silence about his no show as people were legitimately concerned for his well being.   

 His management loves to use his twitter. And for all the wrong reasons.  This was one instance where tweets to explain his absence would have been appropriate and welcome.

But you know who else that room was full of? People who maybe only know him from Glee or maybe not at all. A room full of fans so passionate about theater that they spent a weekend at a conference, and some of them thousands of dollars to be there with flights and hotels, who know nothing about Elsie. Know little to nothing about Darren. And who maybe would have thought, hey that guy is crazy talented and funny and maybe I will check out what this Elsie Fest is. And go to the table. And sign up for the mailing list. That is called a  brilliant marketing move. But he was a no show, so it did not happen.

So yes, he did the Speech and Debate Panel. It was clear he was exhausted. But that panel did not showcase Darren or showcase Elsie as it was about the film, as it should have been. So it was critical, from a marketing standpoint, to do another panel, as was promised, that highlighted the amazing talent that is Darren.  And they failed. And pissed tons of people off. 

Not to mention the networking opportunity missed as the Con was full of people that make plays,. Something Darren is passionate about. Something he says he wants to do again. He wants to originate a role. Here is a novel idea, stick around and talk to these people. And more, don’t look irresponsible by failing to fulfill commitments.  

So yeah, I am pissed. I am more than disappointed. I am more than tired of bad decisions being made by the worst manager in the industry. And at some point Darren needs to stand up and take responsibility for his career. He is already walking a thin line with the constant lies and speculation. He simply cannot afford additional controversy. Controversy he brought completely onto himself and completely deserves.  Not to mention, I still don’t understand how being in Miami last night precluded him from the Saturday events.

To be honest, the only reason I can think of why he did this. Is to continue self sabotaging himself. And this is an art he seems to be mastering.

I just want us to have time when we can focus on Darren the talent. Something that fails all the time with his team of idiots.


Pairing: Best Friend!Roommate!Calum & College Student!Y/N

Words: 1300+

Rating: PG-All

A/N: Low and be hold Lassitude! :)) Hope you guys enjoy! This was a hard chapter to write guys and you’ll know why once you read it ;) I hope your response is worth it. <3 

Previous Part: Incorporeal

Summary: It was a few hours after Y/N and Calum’s exchange, and now Calum is in deep thought about what had happened in the previous hours. It’s the day Y/N is leaving for London, and a voicemail that she left doesn’t help him.

Lassitude - a state of physical or mental weakness; lack of energy

The ceiling was a blank, white color. Y/N had been nagging Calum to paint his ceiling, but he always opposed to the idea. Saying that it was a waste of time and no one was even really going to look at the ceiling.

But now, he wished there was at least a splash of color on there, to help lighten up his mood. His eyes were staring up at the ceiling, a blanket covering his broad body. He felt weak, there was no remaining energy in him. Y/N was his running energy, the thing that kept him running for days and days, but now that she wasn’t there, he felt lazy.

Though she was his burst of energy, a motivation for him to rule his day, she was also his weakness. How her laugh is a mix of giggling and snorting, her genuine smiles, the ability to handle someone like Calum. It was a fascination and an unknown to Calum to why Y/N moved him like that. Her voice and her eyes made his knees feel like jelly, but they also made him strong. Her kind words inspired him to make most of his day, but also made him feel needy. Little did he know, there was a little flame in him that sparks when Y/N was with him, and the flame was slowly dying every second now that he wasn’t with her.

Y/N had left early in the morning, a couple hours after their exchange. After that, Y/N had just left him to the balcony, leaving him to get consumed with his thoughts and emotions. Calum had felt like he was going to explode and all he wanted to do was to just apologize to her repeatedly, yet he didn’t. Calum held himself back, knowing that if he did do it, it would be harder to let go.

He was already having a hard time with it.

The sun was burning bright outside, shining through the sheer white curtains among the fairly small windows. The honking of cars and engines running were muffled through the walls of his small apartment. His phone was vibrating and ringing on his coffee table, messages from his coworker Luke shining on the lock screen of his cellphone.

Calum didn’t bother checking his cellphone after a couple minutes. He felt like his body was numb, deep and rancid thoughts making his body succumb into this numbness. His heart was filled with guilt and sadness, and he felt like he deserved it. What he said to Y/N wasn’t supposed to be let loose, it was something that his stupid mind had came up in the heat of the irrational moment they shared together, and it didn’t make Y/N feel any better about her decision.

But he couldn’t help himself, he was the one getting left after all.

Yet something felt so wrong. Something felt so wrong about his decision. Should he have let her go so soon? Why did he have to be so irrational that time? Driving her away so soon when he could’ve used that precious time cuddling her and holding his desire to kiss her soft hair. Repeating the words that he said to her made him sick. How could he ever say that to her…

But he just had to chase after her, one more time.

Calum sat from the couch, grabbing his phone and staring down at it,

‘3 messages and 1 voicemail from Luke :P’

‘8 messages, 3 missed phone calls, and 1 voicemail from Y/N🚀’

‘2 messages from Katarina’

“Shit…” Once he saw the messages from Y/N, he immediately unlocked the lock screen, tapping on to the text messaging app and opening up her contact.

‘I’m sorry cal, i should’ve told you sooner.. :(‘ 6:45 AM

‘Please respond to my messages, i miss you so much’ 7:04 AM

‘Why do you need to do this to me calum? Why do you need to make me feel like this?’ 7:10 AM

‘Friend, i’m at your door, open it for me please. I have something important to tell you.’  7:30AM

‘Are you still angry at me? Please answer your door.’ 7:34 AM

‘why do you need to make me regret my decisions?’ 8:54 AM

‘i’m on my way to the airport, you probably blocked my number or something already, so what’s the point of sending these things.’  12:23 PM

‘Goodbye calum. <3’ 12:36 PM

Reading the last message made him feel like he was suffocating. He opened the voicemail, and this was what he heard,

“Hey, Calum. “ Her voice was quiet, Calum immediately knowing that she wasn’t at the right state of mind. “I just wanted to leave this message, before ya know, I leave. It’s long just to let you know.“ She paused, he could hear her taking a deep breath in. “I’m sorry- I know you’ve heard this so many times, especially last night, and you are probably so sick of hearing my voice saying it. But I need to say it again, I am so sorry for not telling you earlier.” Her voice cracked, Calum’s breath hitched hearing it.

“I am sorry for being a conceited and selfish brat and not telling you earlier. You should’ve been one of the first to know actually. I regret not being a great friend. I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I-It was never my intention to leave you…” Her voice was starting to fade towards the end of the sentence.

“Never was it my intention to see you hurting so much, and seeing how you were acting last night, made me realize how much of a bitch I was.” Y/N sniffled.

“It’s bad. It’s bad how much you are included the decisions I make. How much I consider you in everything, how much I rely on your approval so that I am able to do something…it makes me feel so trapped sometimes,” she pauses, “I feel like I can’t do anything without your approval. Being awarded this great opportunity to me, that I get a chance to study in London, you were one of the last things that I considered. And for once, I actually felt happy. I realized that I didn’t need your approval to do something, that I didn’t need your permission, and that I didn’t need your input in order to be happy.”

She chuckled dryly, Calum’s heart starting to crack bit by bit.“But yesterday-” Her voice cracked again, “Seeing you yesterday made me realize how much you affect me Calum. Seeing the tears stream down your face, seeing the anger burn in your eyes… It all made me realize I depend on you-”

Calum knew that she was starting to cry, by the way her voice was shaking and how it was starting to break in between words. “It made me realize how much you actually mean to me and how much I love you, Calum.” She let out a sob, Calum’s throat aching and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“I-I love you Calum Hood.”  Those words made Calum’s breath hitch. He felt like he couldn’t breathe for a minute. He couldn’t even think properly; next thing he was dressing himself fast and hailing a cab for JFK.

Once he arrived, he rushed out, pushing himself through the crowds trying to get to their airline check in, while he just rushed to the status board. His eyes stared at the large screen, trying to find British Airways flight 23 heading straight for Heathrow Airport.

But what he only saw was large text that said “Departed”.

His heart dropped, his hands and feet were slowly numbing as he stared at the screen for what felt like years.

She’s gone. The little flame in him was starting to fade. His body was succumbing to deep regret and despair. Never in his life had he felt so vulnerable and weak.

“She’s gone…” Calum looked down to the floor, tears streaming down his face one by one.

“I’m too late.”

3rd part of AWED is up! Enjoy Catalysm!


You know you got it bad for an actor when you start watching their weird short films…

So I watched The Basement. It’s about 11 mins long, 10 of which I watched last night. Then I was too terrified to continue and paused it. I saw the remaining ~60 seconds this morning, and I must say, pausing this where I did was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. :P 

So if you want to see this, my recommendation would be to definitely only watch it during the day and preferably when you’re not alone in the house. Also, never go to the basement again. :P


Gym to Dinner Looks from last night’s shenanigans. I went to a good friend’s birthday dinner last night t a 5 start steakhouse in West Hollywood. Now why sweatpants you ask? Because I can….plain and simple. I like to do the unexpected. I knew everyone in our group would be wearing fancy dresses and whatnot, so I made a conscious decision to go against the grain. I am a true contrarian lol. 

So yes, I bust out my old school college sweats (I briefly attended USC) and a deconstructed grey top, and paired the whole look with a leather jacket and my Zara Mules.

It’s funny my friend posted the group picture of us last night, and I kind of got a lot of hate on the look (albeit, I also got a lot of love). But the good thing about it all is that this look provoked a response, whether it was good or bad.  I live to inspire you to just be yourself, unapologetically. So don’t follow me - follow your own instincts. Don’t follow the trends - set your own.

Questions Masterpost #2 ----- Ask Away!
  1. Put your iTunes on shuffle. What are the first 5 songs?
  2. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
  3. What do you think about most?
  4. Do you have any strange phobias?
  5. What is the first thing you notice in a person?
  6. Favourite style of clothing?
  7. What does your URL mean?
  8. What is your greatest weakness? Your greatest strength?
  9. How do you vent your anger?
  10. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
  11. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
  12. What’s your biggest “what if”?
  13. What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
  14. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
  15. To you, what is the meaning of life?
  16. How can I win your heart?
  17. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
  18. Do you have any obsessions right now?
  19. Top 5 blogs on Tumblr?
  20. What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
  21. What are you really bad at?
  22. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
  23. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
  24. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
  25. How do you view sex?
  26. What is a topic you love to discuss?
  27. Do you have a crush on anyone?
  28. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
  29. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
  30. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
  31. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
  32. What are you going to spend money on next?
  33. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
  34. Are you starting to realize anything?
  35. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
  36. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
  37. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
  38. Listening to?
  39. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
  40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
  42. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
  43. Do you tan in the nude?
  44. Is Christmas stressful?
  45. Favorite type of fruit pie?
  46. What do you wear to bed?
  47. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
  48. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
  49. Ever take dance lessons?
  50. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
  51. Can you curl your tongue?
  52. Who would you like to see in concert?
  53. Can you swim well?
  54. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
  55. Are you patient?
  56. DJ or band, at a wedding?
  57. Which are better, black or green olives?
  58. Opinions on sex before marriage?
  59. Best room for a fireplace?
  60. Do you want to get married?
  61. Name all the tags that you track.
  62. What is a weird habit that you have?
  63. What is a TV show you watch that some people judge you for?
  64. What is your biggest pet peeve?
  65. Something that you do when you’re home alone?
  66. Something that you’re terrified to do in public?
  67. The most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
  68. Something you’re terrified of?
  69. Something you do that your parents have no idea about?
  70. The longest you’ve gone without sleeping?
  71. What was the weirdest dream you’ve ever had and what was it about?
  72. If you had a million bucks what would be the first thing you’d do?
  73. Name something you want to do to someone right now.
  74. Something you tend to do a lot while flirting?
  75. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? 

  76. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 

  77. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
  78. Do you think you can last in a relationship for three months? 
  79. Are you afraid of the dark? 

  80. Would you change your name?