i made alfie look like he has a really big head

A War Inside My Head

ao3 | ff.net

Thanks to @tantalum-cobalt and @chimaerakitten for looking this over. I didn’t change much but the things you pointed out, so thanks for taking the time to beta! I really appreciate it!


“What if I poke him?” someone murmurs.

“If you do that, he’s going to hit you,” someone else says.

“He wouldn’t hit me. It’s Dick.” The first voice pauses. “And besides, he’d totally poke me, too.”

“No, I’d do it to you. Or Damian, or Steph. But not Dick.”

“Yes, Todd,” a new voice chimes in, though it sounds reluctant. “Grayson would most likely dote on the sight of you drooling on your pillow.”

Someone snickers. “Oh my God. Now I can’t stop picturing it.”

“Shut it if you know what’s good for you, Damian. You, too, Tim.”

The voices are invading his dreams, Dick realizes. He can’t match voices to names or faces, but they sound familiar enough that Dick figures he’s not in any danger. And honestly, Dick’s tired enough to sleep for days.

He just wishes the voices would get the memo.

Someone tuts. “Like you could take me down.”

“I will shoot you.”

“Leave him alone, Jay.”

“And what’s up with that? Since when are you on the Demon Brat’s side?”

“Since he stopped Bruce from throwing out all of my coffee.”

“What—do I even want to know?”

“I thought it might be a fruitful investment. I turned out to be correct.”

Dick forces his eyes open, and he blinks blearily up at the trio standing in the middle of the living room, just inches away from the couch Dick had collapsed on when he’d gotten back to the Manor earlier. None of them are looking at him, and while they’re all being relatively quiet, it isn’t quiet enough for Dick. He’s tired, and as much as he’d normally love for his little brothers to be in the same room and talking and not killing each other, now is kind of a bad time.

He just wants to sleep, preferably without any little brothers interrupting his first rest in over 48 hours.

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The Sexy Underwear || Joe

Joe masterpost found here

Word count - 1,590

Summary - The one where your friendship took a turn.

SMUT WARNING

You had been living with Joe for a little over a month, but you had been friends for ages. Once you and your long term boyfriend broke up, Joe offered to let you stay with him. You loved living with him. It was like having a constant sleepover with your best friend. So far, things were going great. You know, aside from how sexually frustrated he made you on a daily basis. You weren’t really sure if you had feelings for him, but you were sure he was absolutely, indescribably hot.

One day you were all set to go over to the Zalfie pad with Joe. You had known Zoe just as long as you had known Joe, and you were itching to go visit her and Alfie at their new house. You packed everything for your weekend stay the day before and now, you were just changing out of your pajamas and into your clothes for the day.

Just as you pulled off your pajamas and slipped on your underwear and bra, your door burst open. You jumped and turned abruptly to see Joe, looking completely unapologetic. “Oh,” Joe said, a smirk growing on his face. “Sorry. I should’ve knocked.” You picked up a t shirt you had thrown on the ground to cover yourself as much as you could. Joe was still standing there, leaning against the door frame and looking at you.

“Um, can you go?” you laughed awkwardly.

“Oh but I was so enjoying the view,” he said.

“Ha ha,” you laughed sarcastically. “Go!” Joe just grinned and left, closing the door behind him. You ignored the bubbling in your tummy. You didn’t have time to take care of it yourself.

Once you were all ready to go, you and Joe got into the car to start the drive. He didn’t bring up what happened earlier and neither did you. But you couldn’t help but feel like there was something different in the air between you two. After all, Joe had never seen you in your underwear. Not to mention it was a pair of your sexiest underwear; matching black lace bra and hipster panties. You didn’t know if this was awkward or all in your head.

“So,” Joe said suddenly, breaking the silence between the two of you, “is that what all your underwear looks like or were you just trying to turn me on?” Your heart dropped to your stomach and you could feel your cheeks heating up.

“It’s not like I knew you were going to barge in on me,” you mumbled.

“So you weren’t intentionally trying to get me hard?” he pressed, a smirk not leaving his face.

“I- I-”

“Will I get to see more of that this weekend?” he asked. “Cuz I’m not sure one viewing is enough for me.”

You couldn’t think of anything to say, so you remained silent, staring at your hands on your lap. Joe didn’t say anything either, just turned up the music on the radio and continued the drive.

Once you got to Zoe and Alfie’s, you ran inside and gave Zoe a huge hug. “Zo, this place is insane!” you said honestly.

“I know,” she smiled brightly. “It’s insane to be here.”

“I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thanks,” she said. After a short pause, she looked around as if checking that Alfie and Joe weren’t anywhere nearby. When they weren’t, she added, “So, have you and Joe gotten together yet?”

“What?” you whispered in shock. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh come off it,” Zoe laughed. “I’ve seen the sexual tension radiating off of both of you for years.”

“Well you must be seeing things,” you said, “because there’s nothing going on between me and Joe.”

“Good,” Zoe said casually, “then you won’t have any problem with sharing a bed with him tonight. You know, what with the fact that there’s no sexual tension between you two.”

“Zo-”

“We haven’t had time to set up any more than just one guest bedroom,” she interrupted. “So you’re going to have to share with him. I already told him and he said that was fine, so I’m glad to hear it won’t be a problem.” Before you could protest, Zoe sent you a teasing grin and then walked back over to the boys who were carrying your’s and Joe’s bags into the house.

Throughout the whole day, you could feel Joe staring at you. His innocent touches on your arm would linger longer than normal and his glances were anything but quick. Maybe you were imagining it all, but things surely felt different than they had that morning before he walked in on you.

As it started to get dark outside, you bid Alfie and Zoe a goodnight and headed into the bedroom. You took off your clothes and your bra and slipped on the pair of pajamas you had brought with you. Just as you got under the covers, Joe came in. “Not going to bed yet are you?” Joe said. His tone of voice mirrored that of when he was talking to you in the car.

“I was planning to,” you said, trying to keep your voice casual.

“Better change your plans then,” Joe said, walking over to you. “Because I had very different, very exciting plans for the two of us tonight.”

Before you could even utter a response, Joe hovered above you on the bed and pressed his lips to yours. You let out a gasp and put your hands in his hair, tangling your fingers in his locks. You felt his hand trail down your body to the hem of your pajama shorts and you let out a soft moan. “You’re going to have to be quiet, (Y/N),” Joe said against your lips. “Can’t let Zoe and Alfie hear us.”

“This house is so big,” you muttered, “I’m sure they won’t hear a thing.”

“I didn’t even know you were a screamer,” he said, kissing along your neck and nipping at your skin.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you said.

“I know you looked hot as fuck in that underwear you had on this morning,” he said. “And you’ll look even hotter with it off.”

Joe tugged your shirt over your head and let out a low moan when he saw you weren’t wearing a bra. “I was right,” he said. “So fucking hot.” His lips immediately went down to your skin, kissing along your chest and stopping at your nipples. With one hand squeezing your left breast, his lips paid special attention to the other.

“Fuck,” you groaned out. Joe quickly brought a hand to your mouth to prevent you from making anymore noises.

“We’re going to have to do something about this mouth of yours aren’t we?” he said. He quickly pulled your shorts and underwear off and stuffed your underwear in your mouth. “That should keep you quiet,” he said with a smirk. Joe trailed his lips down your body until they stopped at your heat. He immediately licked a strip along your pussy. You arched your back and desperately wanted to let out a moan, but it was obviously impossible. Joe’s mouth was working wonders and you could already feel your toes curling. You knotted your fingers in his hair again, holding his head as close to you as you could. He hummed against you, sending a shock through your whole body. “I wish I could hear how good I make you feel,” he said, blowing some air on your now so sensitive clit. “I guess we’ll just have to wait for another time.”

Just when you were about to come, Joe pulled his face away from you. You let out a muffled moan and Joe just laughed. “I can’t wait any longer,” he said. “And I so badly want you to come for my dick.” Joe pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and got a condom out. He quickly stripped of his own clothes and rolled the condom onto himself. Not even waiting to ask if you were ready, he pushed into you. The fullness caused you to let out yet another muffled moan, your back arching off the bed again.

Joe brought his lips down to your neck. His thrusts were strong and he nipped at your skin every time. Without warning, he took your panties out of your mouth and placed a long kiss to your lips. “Just say my name one time,” he said. “Just let me know how good I make you feel.”

“Fuck, Joe,” you said, trying to keep your voice down. “No one’s ever made me feel this good.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said. You could feel his smirk against your skin.

“I’m gonna come,” you said, your head rolling back onto the pillow.

“Me too,” he said. “Come on, baby. Let go.”

With only a few more thrusts, you came and Joe quickly followed. Once you both caught your breath, Joe pulled out of you and put the condom in the trash. Neither of you spoke for a moment, both catching your breath and not wanting to speak too soon. Instead of saying anything, Joe put his arms around you and pulled you close to him. He placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. You didn’t say anything either, just nuzzled your face into his chest. Without a single word spoken between the two of you, you fell asleep, wondering if things between you were ever going to be the same.

Tulips | Alfie Solomons [part 4]

[part 1]   [part 2]    [part 3]

Summary: [part 4] You’re a Shelby, born between Ada and Finn. You’re not into the family business and spend most of your time as a nurse at a local hospital. Your brothers respect your distance as you try not to get caught in Peaky Blinders business. The Peaky Blinders and Alfie Solomas have been in an alliance for years. Thomas and the rest do something that might make them lose the alliance. To reassure Alfie that they’re honorable, Alfie suggest an aliance by marriage.

16+ ONLY

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Beginnings // Joe Sugg Imagine

a/n: For those of you who sent in requests, don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about them I just haven’t written them yet because I’ve been a bit busy, but I will soon I promise!!!

Joe Sugg x reader

The exciting news that Zoëy and Alfie were moving got to you and Joe at breakfast a day or two after they bought their house. You couldn’t have been happier for them, you knew how much Zoëy loved the new house they bought together and couldn’t wait to help her decorate it. 

 "Zoëy invited us over a few days after they move in to help unpack some boxes, you in?“ You ask your boyfriend of 5 months. Joe nods from across the table as he takes another bite of cereal, letting some of the milk drop off the side of his lip. You laugh and wipe it away with your napkin, causing him to lean into your hand a little bit. 

 "You’re cheesy,” you stated, getting up and putting your dishes in the sink.

 "Only for you, love,“ he responded with an over exaggerated wink. 


 Later that week, you and Joe packed up your car with a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates as a house warming gift for your friends and hit the road. The car ride was spent singing loudly to Joe’s playlist which mainly consisted of throwbacks from the 90s and early 2000’s and before you knew it, you were pulling up into the driveway of Zoëy and Alfie’s new house.

 ”Damn“ you said when you got a good look at just how gorgeous the house was. Joe nodded in shock, his mouth hanging open a bit as he maneuvered the car into a parking place in the driveway. 

 The moment you walked through the door, Zoëy bombarded you with a tight hug, followed by Alfie who did the same. You laughed and gave them their chocolates as Joe handed over the flowers. Zoëy fawned over them and asked you to help her pick out a vase in the other room. 

As soon as you and her were out of earshot, Zoëy beamed at you. 

 "So,” she said, busying her hands with opening a few boxes to look for a vase, “how are things with my little brother?“ 

 When she asked you that question earlier in your relationship with Joe, you were caught off guard and got flustered easily, mainly because you didn’t really know where you and Joe stood together. You loved being around him and he seemed to make your life a whole lot better, but you didn’t know if he felt the same way. 

But after a few late night chats in his apartment together, you knew you two were on the same page. From there your relationship blossomed into what it is today and you answered Zoëy’s question with honesty and certainty, "Things are amazing with Joe." 

 Her smile grew even larger at your response. Ever since the beginning of your relationship with Joe, she was rooting for you two to become serious, and you were. 

 "I’m so glad to hear that because I’ve never seen him like this about any other person. He tells me about you all the time, and I can tell he’s serious about the two of you,” she said. 

 Before you had time to respond, Joe and Alfie turned around the corner.

“My god, how long does it take to find one vase?!” Joe asked with fake shock. 

 You and Zoëy laughed as she grabbed the vase and led the party into the kitchen. 


 The majority of the day was filled with unpacking boxes and taking extremely necessary breaks to play with the dogs outside with Joe. 

 As you were unpacking the guest bedroom, you looked out of the giant window centered in the middle of the room. You had an amazing view of their backyard and could see for what looked like miles. The sun was starting to set over the hill and you sighed happily, the view making you smile. 

 Looking at this, the house, the sunset, everything, gave you a longing for something more in your relationship with Joe. You wanted to take things one more step further with him and experience more wonders in your relationship. 

Your thoughts were interrupted as someone came behind you and wrapped their arms around your shoulders, leaning into you. 

 "Hi Joe,“ you said sweetly, looking up to smile at your boyfriend who towered over you. 

 "How’d you know it was me?” He asked. 

 "I heard you trip and yell, ’shit!’ as you walked up the stairs. Who else would it be?“ You asked, trying your hardest not to laugh but failing miserably as you threw your head back and giggled into Joe’s chest. He smiled lovingly down at you. 

"Fair enough, fair enough,” he said, letting out a little chuckle of his own. 

 "So this is where we’ll be staying, huh? Pretty nice if you ask me,“ you said as you and Joe took a look around the room. It was pretty empty at the moment but you knew it was going to look fantastic after Zoëy puts some of her interior decorating skills to the test.

 "Big bed,” Joe smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. You laughed, playfully hitting his arm and turning towards the sunset once again to prevent him from seeing the blush creep upon your neck and cheeks. 

 Joe came back over behind you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders again, resting his chin atop your head. And you both stayed liked that in a peaceful moment as you watched the sunset. 

 "Y/n,“ Joe mumbled after a moment. You turned around to face him and were taken aback a bit by how nervous he looked. Joe was never really nervous about anything, you were used to seeing his calm and happy self. 

 "Yeah?” You asked timidly, trying to stop your mind from thinking of terrible scenarios as to why he was suddenly acting different. He picked at his thumb a little bit as he began to speak, not making eye contact with you. 

“You know, seeing all this with Zoë and Alfie, them getting the house and moving in together and everything, has made me think,” he said. He looked up to meet your eyes before finishing his thought, “I love you, you know that, but I want to prove it more. I want this for us,” he motioned around the room, “a life together, living together,” he said. 

 "Woah, woah, woah, are you proposing?“ You asked nervously. You loved Joe and could definitely see yourself marrying him in the future, but you were both so young and still had so many things to accomplish in your lives. 

 He chuckled, "no, no, not yet anyways,” he stopped to make sure you were laughing with him, which you were, and continued his sentence. “I mean I want to live together. So uhm…” he looked back down at his hands, a habit he had when he was nervous. 

 Once again gathering his courage, he met your eyes. “Do you want to move in with me?” He asked in what seemed like a whisper. 

 You grinned and latched your hands to the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. “Well, I’ll take that as a yes,” he said before diving back in for another kiss.

Kiwi (Part 3) - Harry Styles Imagine

Originally posted by stylesinthewild

Words: 2,039 

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol

Part 3 of ‘Kiwi’ -  Part 1 - Part 2


Her life was on track, complete track, she was proud of it, she was far from the mistakes of the past. She realised that she was closer to her son’s first birthday, then her past with Harry, Scott, drugs and alcohol, and she kept that mindset.

Having a child was hard, they tell you that, you ignore it, and then you live it, and realise it is hard. But she worked through it all, she did what she did best, and just lived. She loved Noah more everyday, she took off time from work, and lived as a single mother, no father in his life, she raised him, and proud. He was too young to know what a father is, she just gained the love more from him, without someone there.

Noah was six months, a perfect mix between the two, Harry and (Y/N). But he was six months when a Styles member contacted her, it was casual, she found, it was not a anger message, but a simple check up. Gemma Styles called her on a Tuesday morning, and it took her by surprise. Of course she answered it, Gemma and her were like sisters back then, Gemma helped her through it all when Harry just left, and now her best friend was calling her, after not talking for years.

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diana-daydreamer  asked:

Oh oh oh! Can I make a request? Like the batboys all have s/o and secretly betting on who will have a daughter first and like time later they all have bunch of boys and loose hope and then reader(whoever of the boys s/o you would like to make) find out that she bearing a girl and the batboy like "HA! Eat it suckers! I have a little princess!" Like it's really au but I wanted it so long :)

Hope this is good!

———–

Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian all had a running competition on who would have a daughter first. It had all started when all four boys had managed to have one boy with their wives but no daughters. Alfred had commented that he would like to have a great-granddaughter to spoil.

“Well, the next kid I have you just might have one Alfie” Jason said, pulling you closer. Your 22-month old son playing on the floor with Dicks 2-year old.

“We already know that all four of you are pregnant again, we just have to wait to find out the sex of the babies!”

“You all are awful! Already putting expectations on the babies” Danny, Tim’s wife said

“Seriously! What if none of us are having girls? What are you gonna do then?” You ask, tucking your feet under Jason’s thigh.

“We’ll just have to keep trying. Eventually one of us has to have a girl!” Dick shouted from where he was lying underneath the four boys.

“We all find out the sex in about 6 weeks, so just chill the fuck out until then” Gabby said, she buried her face into Damian’s stomach and tried to take a nap.

-

All of the wives had made sure to schedule their appointments when their husbands were busy. Just the thought of all four batboys waiting to find out the sex of the baby was a headache waiting to happen.

You stand up, bouncing Logan on your hip, “Maybe we shouldn’t find out the sex. Maybe we should make them suffer in anticipation until the baby is born”

Rachel grinned, “Dick would be pissed. Shoot, they all would be pissed if we refused to find out!”

Danny and Gabby both burst into laughter, “It would serve them right! They don’t get to know! They are just going to have to wait!”

You set Logan down and he toddles over to the play area, where the others are. Thankfully there wasn’t a very large gap between any of the children, so they would always have someone to play with.

The doctor walks out to the waiting room, “So we are finding out the sexes of the babies today, right?”

“Actually doc, we want it to be a surprise” You snort when she rolls her eyes

Doctor Leslie sighs, “Are the boys already making bets on who is having a girl?”

“That they are. We don’t think that they deserve to know. And we can’t know or else they would find a way to get it out of us.”

Leslie nods, “Alright, well, let’s check on them. I need to have an approximation on the sex of the baby, but I won’t tell you.”

You all nod and follow Leslie back. You honestly can’t wait to see the expression on Jason’s face when you tell him that he won’t know the sex until the birth.

-

Surprisingly Alfred is the most disappointed that none of you found out the sex of the babies. Of course he then goes to look up any of the old wives tales that predict the sex of the baby. He even manages to rope the boys into it.

They measure everyone’s stomach, they count the heartbeats, and they even dangle your wedding rings over your stomachs. By the eighth month of pregnancy all four of the wives are regretting not finding out the sex of the babies. At this point even Bruce has joined in on trying to predict the sex.

“Jason, if you don’t fucking stop dangling that damn ring over my stomach I swear to God that we are never having another child again”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I just really think that you are having a girl”

“You have been saying that for a month now. At this point the gender isn’t going to change overnight!”

“Mama?”

“Hey Logan. You’re up early, baby”

“Not a baby, mama. ‘m a big brover now!”

You chuckle and help Logan climb up on the bed. He laid his head gently on your stomach and immediately started to babble to the baby. This had become a morning tradition ever since you had started to show. You would wake up every morning to your son, and sometimes even his cousins, talking to your bump, squealing whenever the baby would kick.

You curl up on your side, Jason behind you and your son in front of you. You know that no matter what the sex is this baby will be loved, and will have plenty of cousins to play with.

-

You are the last to go into labor. All of the other wives have already had their babies, and they had all been boys. Gabby had been the first, she had been a week early, then it was Rachel, she had gone into labor on her due date, Danny went third, two days after Rachel. You were a week past your due date and everyone had started to hover around you, just waiting for you to go into labor.

“Jason!!” You shouted. You clutched your stomach when you felt your water break. You didn’t want to move. You have been going down the stairs, and now they were all slippery.

“What is it, Y/N? Are you alright?”

“My water just broke and I don’t want to fall down the stairs!”

“FUCK! ALFRED GET THE CAR, B THE BAG, I GOT Y/N!!!”

You chuckle, even though you had already had one child Jason was just as much of a mess this time around. “Can you watch Logan, Gabby?”

“Sure, honey. We will drive up to the hospital once you hit 7 cm, alright?”

“Perfect”

“Do you want me to help you get down the stairs?”

You wave her away, “Jason will be here in a minute, I’ll be fine”

Gabby nodded, “Good luck!”

-

6 hours later and you had finally hit seven cm. Gabby, Danny, and Rachel were all heading to the hospital with the children. Logan hadn’t stopped crying when he had realized that he had been left behind, only a call from you had made him stop crying.

By the time they got to the hospital you were 8 cm. You got to see everyone and give Logan a kiss before the doctor had ushered everyone out.

“Alright, you are 9 cm now. You should be able to start pushing within the next hour!”

About 20 minutes later you could feel the urge to push and had sent Jason to get the doctor. Thankfully you only had to push for about an hour before the baby started to crown. With Logan it had taken almost 3 hours and an episiotomy just to get his head out.

“You’re doin’ so good, honey. I’m so proud of you”

“Fuck you, just shut up”

30 minutes later you gave one last exhausted push and had delivered your baby.

“Congratulations! It’s a girl!”

You give an exhausted grin, and Jason lets out an excited scream, which only makes the baby cry louder. Once the nurses take the baby to the incubator to do their tests, Jason gives you one last kiss before he runs out into the waiting room

“HA!! Eat it suckers! I have a little princess!”

You can hear happy shouts, and several people start crying. You relax back on the bed and wait for the barrage of people to come in and try to steal your little girl. You had always wanted a little boy and a little girl, and now your dream had come true.

I’ve Already Come Undone

Summary: He doesn’t notice it at first. He’s too happy. He’s back. For good, now. Damian’s alive, and talking to him. Jason and Tim are mad at him for a little while, but they both start talking to him soon enough, too. Cass gives him smiles and hugs, and she lets him kiss her cheek every occasionally. So, yeah. He’s too caught up in his family to notice what’s happening at first. 

In which Dick’s trauma catches up to him before he’s ready. Spoilers for Forever Evil.

ao3 | ff.net

(This is a long one, so strap yourselves in.)


He doesn’t notice it at first. He’s too happy. He’s back. For good, now. Damian’s alive, and talking to him. Jason and Tim are mad at him for a little while, but they both start talking to him soon enough, too. Cass gives him smiles and hugs, and she lets him kiss her cheek every occasionally. So, yeah. He’s too caught up in his family to notice what’s happening at first.


It starts with swallowing Tylenol, of all things.

He swallows it down, but just as he does, he chokes on both the pill and the water. He’s coughing up water, but he ends up reflexively swallowing the pill in order to breathe, and he spends the next fifteen minutes staring at the puddle of water from the dropped water bottle next to him on the kitchen floor.

Alfred finds him like that.

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dodie Series || Joe

Miscellaneous masterpost found here

Joe masterpost found here

Word count - 879

Summary - The one based off of Would You Be So Kind?

You were spending the night at Zoe and Alfie’s. You met the pair back in 2013 along with a lot of other British YouTubers who were big at the time. Now, even though the main “YouTube Crew” somewhat disbanded, you and Zoe remained as close as ever. Not to mention the outrageous crush you had on her brother brought you two closer as well. Zoe was who you went to with boy problems, even when the boy problems revolved around Joe.

It was late 2015 when you fell for the younger Sugg, and early 2016 when you decided to put yourself out there and tell him. The feelings, however, weren’t reciprocated. Luckily you and Joe remained friends, but you were left always wanting more. Always wondering if more would ever happen.

On the night of your sleepover, you and Zoe were hanging out in the sun room, looking up at the stars through the glass ceiling above you. Alfie had gone out for the night, so you and Zoe were able to chat about anything without him overhearing. Not that you didn’t trust Alfie, but some things were just for Zoe’s ears. You were lounging out, your head resting on the arm of couch. Zoe was sitting on the other end, Nala in her lap and her phone in her hand. “Alfie’s on his way back,” she said suddenly.

“Cool,” you responded, staring still up at the sky absentmindedly.

“He’s bringing Joe.”

You sat up and looked at Zoe. “Really?” you asked. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” she said sarcastically, “because they’re friends?”

“Shut up,” you laughed. With a sigh, you added, “Has he said anything about me?”

“You know we don’t talk about that kind of stuff,” Zoe said gently.

“I know,” you mumbled. “I was just wondering.”

“I still think you should just talk to him again,” Zoe said. She had been trying to get you to restate your feelings for her brother for a while now, but you were too nervous to get shot down- again.

“Yeah?” you scoffed. “And say what? I have a strange question. How are your lungs? Are they in pain?”

“What?”

“Cuz mine are aching,” you groaned. “And I think I know why. It’s because of him. It’s like whenever I think about him I can’t breathe. To be honest, I kind of like it though.”

“You’re so weird,” Zoe laughed.

“And after I’ve asked him about his lungs,” you continued, laughing as well, “I’ll say Would you be so kind as to fall in love with me?” You jumped up onto the couch, putting your hand on your heart dramatically. “I know you know that I like you but that’s not enough! So, if you would, please fall in love with me!

Zoe laughed and you jumped off the couch, doing a spin in the middle of the room. “Then I’ll say, Let’s write a story,” you said, “so you can be in my book. You’ve got to join me on my page!

“Okay, okay,” Zoe said, “and what if he says he needs time?”

“He needs time?” you scoffed. “I’d say let’s swap chests today! That might help you decide.

You laughed again and fell back onto the couch. “And then,” you sighed, “once I’ve said all that, I’ll give him one final plea. I’ll just look at him and say, Can you do me one favor? Can your heart rate rise a little? Just a little, you know? Just enough so he can kind of get how I feel. Is that too much to ask?”

“You’re so in love with him,” Zoe laughed.

“I know,” you said, covering your face with your hands. “It’s pathetic, right? He must think I’m insane.”

“Not pathetic,” Zoe said. “I think it’s sweet. And like I said, I think you should just talk to him again. Maybe don’t say all of that, but say something. Just to see what he’s thinking.” You gave Zoe a wary look.

“Do you have any idea what he’s thinking?”

“I’m thinking that I waited way too long to tell you that my lungs are in pain too.”

You looked up at Joe so quickly that you nearly fell off the couch. Zoe covered her mouth to hide a giggle and you sent her a glare. “C’mon Zo,” Alfie said. “I don’t think we need to overhear this.” Zoe nodded with a smile and left you alone to chat with Joe. As soon as they were gone, Joe sat beside you and gave you a shy smile.

“How long have you felt this way?” you asked him. “When I last told you, you told me you weren’t interested.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” Joe said. “I said I wasn’t ready.”

“And now?” you almost whispered. Joe smiled and laid a hand on your cheek.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”

So, Joe pressed his lips against yours, letting his hands rest gently on your cheeks. You smiled behind the kiss and kissed him back, laying your hands on top of his. When you pulled away, Joe took your hand in his and placed it on his chest. You could feel his steady heartbeat. He smiled.

“You made my heart rate rise a little.”

Twenty-One: Part Two - Alfie Solomons

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | 


“Nice to see you Miss Cohen,” Alfie greets as I slide through the open door, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible, although I know it’s an impossible task.

“And you Mr Solomons, I’m just here to finish cashing up and to leave you the books from the bar.”

He finally looks up from his paperwork and I hold out the money sack and books as if he might doubt me. He nods after a second and turns his attention back to whatever’s in front of him on his desk, but his pencil never moves.

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Forbidden Flame

Part 1 (Here) Part 2

“Now Now,” Michael interrupted as he put a hand on each of your shoulders. “What the fuck is my best friends hand doing up my little cousins skirt?” You both quickly pulled away from each other you felt your face burning red while Isaiah shot right up to his feet.

“Didn’t see you there mate,” Isaiah was trying to avoid the conversation. You couldn’t be bothered with all the hiding especially now you weren’t really hiding anymore.

“We need to talk, but not here,” you break the awkward silence between you all and head for the books room.

“What are you doing?” Isaiah asks clearly worried.

“I can’t be bothered with it anymore.”

“If your brothers find out they’ll kill me.”

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Tea Party

Originally posted by peakyblindersbbc


“I’m bored!” Madeline whined as she sat on your bed, her sister Lillian laying on her stomach reading a book while you packed.

“Do you have to go?” Lily asked as you placed some clothes in your suitcase.

“It’s not going to be very long, plus you guys get to spend the weekend with Daddy, that’ll be fun, right?” You beamed, the looks on their littles faces making you want to stay. You and your best friend had been preparing this trip for nearly 6 years, before Lillian was born, you couldn’t ditch her now just because your girls wanted you, something you’d never thought could happen before.

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prettywallflower29  asked:

Or you could do a Damian Wayne AU where he is a vampire or werewolf and he finds his mate who be one of his adoptive brother's younger sister? I know this one is lame but I thought it would be cool to see written. :-)

Sorry this took so long!!

———-

Jason Todd is your big brother, not by blood, but by choice. Your choice to be exact, you had followed the Red Hood home, and Jason had decided to keep you. He gave you a new identity, you were now Y/N Todd.

“Jay!! Hurry up!! I want to go to the Manor!”

The werewolf growled at you but heaved himself off the couch, “I don’t want to go to the Manor”

“Tough shit, Jay! I already called Alfred and he’s expecting us”

“I won’t be bullied by a human, or that bunch of vamps”

“It isn’t bullying, everyone is going to be there. I want to meet everyone! The only one I’ve met is Alfie! You are constantly bitch about them; I want to meet them!!!”

“You’re just a human, they’re all vampires, it is a huge risk taking you there!!”

“Dick isn’t a vampire! And Babs is human!!”

“They are also trained to kill both Vamps and Weres!” Jason let out a low growl. You knew that he was nervous, you were his little sister, only 17 years old.

I turn on the water works, knowing that your puppy of a big brother can’t stand to see you cry “P-please, Jay?”

“Fine! We’ll go! But you had better stay by me the entire time, I don’t want you to be alone with anyone”

“Alright”

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, “That’s it? Just alright? No arguing?”

“Well, we’re going, aren’t we? That’s all I wanted” grabbing his hand you start to pull his toward the door, “now come on!! We’re already late!!!!!”

Meeting the mismatched family of vampires is surprisingly calm. Bruce is stoic and basically unresponsive to any of Jason’s taunting, and you could see Tim smirking out of the corner of your eye.

“Hi! I’m Y/N, I’m Jason’s little sister.”

Bruce’s lip twitched, “Hello, Alfred speaks very highly of you, he said that you are a good influence on our temperamental wolf”

“I’ll show you temperamental …” Jason snarled, taking a step forward

You plant yourself in front of them, “I told you that I wanted a nice evening, and that I want to get to know everyone. Now you put him away and play nice, you can growl and throw a fit later when we go out, but right now I want to go inside”

You storm past Jason and shout for Alfred. Jason quickly scrambles behind you, not wanting to let you out of his sight. There had been to sign of Damian or Dick yet and Jason refused to allow you to be alone with either of them.

“Where’s babybat and Dickiebird?”

“They had to go out and get milk, we ran out and Alfred needs some for dessert”

“Good, I don’t want any surprises, Y/N needs to be kept safe”

“You think either of them would hurt her?”

“She’s special, probably the mate of some supernatural creature. Weres might not be telepathic like Vamps but even I can tell that her mind is special”

Bruce nodded, “I noticed that as soon as you pulled up. She has a very compatible mind.”

Jason growled, “Stay away from here”

“I don’t want, Y/N. You don’t have to worry about me, but be wary of Damian. If her mind is that compatible with mine, I don’t even want to think about how compatible she would be with my son”

You run back over to Jason, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, pup. Just talking”

“Alright, well Alfred said that Dick and Damian are here, so I’m gonna go see if they need help”

“NO”

You jerk back, surprised at the sudden outburst, “Seriously, what wrong? You were fine a few minutes ago, and now you’re acting all weird”

At that moment the front door opened and Damian and Dick walk into the Manor. “Grayson, how can you not smell that, or even feel that. Are you wolves truly that useless?”

“Come on, Dami!! Don’t be mean! You know wolves aren’t telepathic when we are in human form, and the only new smells are Jason and his little sister, Y/N”

“Perhaps Todd knows where the smell is coming from”

You glance up at Jason confused, “Do we smell funny? I don’t think I smell funny”

Your eyes shoot up when Damian lets out a low growl, “Todd, step away from my mate”

“Your mate? I don’t even know who you are”

Damian sniffs the air again, “You are human”

Rolling your eyes, you put your hands on your hips, “Obviously. Now you two need to put the milk in the fridge and come sit down, Alfred and I are almost done cooking, and I’m not ready to deal with any of you until after we eat”

You walk away, hiding around the corner. You really want to know what they are going say.

“She is my mate” Damian, Damian Wayne had just said that! About you! Damian, the vampire son fo fucking Batman thinks that you are his mate!!

“You know that you think rather loudly, do you not?”

You yelp, you hadn’t even been paying attention and Damian had snuck up on you! “I-I … um … sorry?”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Beloved. I would enjoy getting to know you better. Your mind is extremely compatible with mine and I believe that you would be an optimal mate”

You can hear Jason snarling and shouting from the other room, “You stay away from my sister you Demon!! I’ll tear your throat out! Don’t you touch her!!”

“I-I think you made Jay really mad”

Damian just chuckled, “Worry not about the wolf, Beloved. Grayson and Father will calm him down in time for dinner” he holds out his arm for you and you place a hand at his elbow, “Now, are you amiable to being courted by me?”

You can’t stop the blush that appears on your cheeks and Damian inhales, “I think that I would like that, Damian”

“NO, PUP, NO!!!!” Jason howled

Damian chuckles quietly, “Do you believe that Jason will challenge me, my human?”

“I don’t think so, he’ll be mad for a while, but he’ll get over it”

“If he does challenge me, I will enjoy defeating him in front of you”

You chuckle and shake your head. These boys are going to be the death of you. You are the sister of a wolf, and the mate of a vampire. How the hell is this family going to survive that?

truce | alfie solomons/shelby!reader

@collecting-stories let’s talk about our feelings, everyone, and eat ice cream

“Alfie?”

A grunt came from across the room.

“Alfie?”

Another.

“Alfie?”

He sighed this time but gave no other reply besides a harsher scratch against the paper.

“Alfie!?”

“What? What do you want, woman?”

“Ok first, don’t refer to me as woman” you rolled onto your side to stare him down from where he was sat at the desk, scowling at you over his glasses, “and second, I’m bored”.

“I’m working”

“Yes, I know, you’ve been at it for hours now. When are we going to have some fun?”

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involvement | alfie solomons

can you please do an Alfie imagine where he’s in a bad mood and the reader keeps winding him up. Thank u x

Hello, can I please request an Alfie imagine where he’s had some trouble with the Italians but he won’t let the reader know any details because he doesn’t want to involve her and she gets worried. Thank you x

[a/n - not happy with this but i say that about every imagine. pls send me requests because i only have like two in my inbox and I’m stuck on what to write for those two]

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Game on.

Part 1

Finn Shelby x reader 

Request: Hi.Can you something where u are Alfie’s sister,Tommy sends Finn to use you for info.u found out when hearing Finn and some blinders talking about it at the Garrison,you’re heartbroken cuz he was your 1 and all that.A long fic please or a II parts xx

Author’s note: I got so carried away so it is super long and there will be a part 2 very soon. Also i did it from the reader’s point of view and Finn’s do you guys like it this way or not? Please let me know thank you :)


“I won’t let you present me like a piece of meat to those fucking gypsy’s” You shout at your brother Alfie as he stands blocking the doorway of your kitchen.

“You’re being  a tad over dramatic (Y/N), William will be at the dinner too. It’s to show peace, finally some fuckin’ peace.” Your brother always struggled with your stubbornness and inability to compromise with him. Since your parents passed Alfie was left in charge of you and Your brother Will, and admittedly he struggled. Especially with you, you were a fiery girl from a very young age and a handful to say, the least.

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anonymous asked:

yoooooooooo idk if you're in a writing mood rn but with how depressing canon is rn could you write some fluffy fs family/baby fic? please?

The sound of the front door closing so surprises Jemma that she almost topples over. Balanced as precariously as she is on the step stool over the crib whilst eight months pregnant, this would have been very inconvenient indeed.

And speaking of inconvenient, her husband wasn’t supposed to be home for another thirty minutes at least.

‘Hello? Anybody home?’

Twisting her lip as she strains over the cot’s wooden railings, Jemma desperately tries to think how she could stall him from entering the nursery just yet. As she glances across the room, her eyes fall on her four-year-old son, sitting cross legged on the floor lining up stuffed animals. She grins.

‘Did you hear that, Alfie? Who’s home?’

Alfie’s head snaps in the direction of the door, his mouth frozen in a startled o shape for a moment before jumping to his feet and hurtling out of the room. Pursing her lips together to keep herself from laughing, Jemma stretches just a little bit higher, so her fingers are just brushing the ceiling, straining to listen to what is happening in the hallway.

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What’s In A Name

I wrote this for ababybat for Christmas. The prompt was “It was all an act” Dick/Dami.

Warning for angst. Bring the tissues.


“Don’t you get it? It was all an act!” Jason’s voice barked loudly across the rooftops as he waved his bottle haphazardly toward the rise of the skyscrapers barely visible through the Gotham city smog.

“That’s not true,” Damian’s voice was a slight hiss as he stood just outside of Jason’s reach, watching the man roll his head back on his shoulders to look him in the eye. His once blue eyes sparkled with the pit green and seemed to twist like a spiral-a web-

“Oh really?” A cut of his lips as he took another drag from the glass bottle, “What does he call you?”

Damian’s brow furrowed against his mask as he frowned down at the man before him. “What idiocy are you spouting now, Hood?”

Jason hissed at him, eyes narrowing as he lunged without warning.

Damian twisted, but Jason caught the end of his cape and yanked him around, crushing him to the slate of the rooftop as he pinned him beneath his body.

“Get off me, you-”

“What. Does. He. Call. You?” Jason’s alcoholed breath punctuated each word as he pressed down on Damian, large hands grasping the boy’s wrists as his thighs restrained his thrashing feet.

Damian growled low in his throat, baring his teeth at the drunken man atop him. “What does it matter, you imbecile? I should have let you fall off the damned roof!”

“Aw-c’mon, demon brat” Jason’s breath ghosted over Damian’s face heavy with alcohol and it made Damian’s nose twitch, “Tell me.”

“Robin. He calls me Robin.”

Jason threw back his head and roared with laughter, “That doesn’t mean shit. We’ve all been Robin. That ain’t special. What does he call you? The truth now.”

Damian’s mind whirled and his brow furrowed in confusion, “My name.”

Jason’s masked faces twisted painfully as his mouth continued to stretch upward almost as if he was being broken in two, “Damian? He calls you Damian?”

“No names-”

“He must really not love you at all.”

Damian sucked in an audible breath, fingers twitching as his mind went blank, “what?”

Jason either didn’t hear him or chose not to, “He always gives people names, y’know? Kori’andr is Kory. Barbra is Babs. Tim is Timmy, Timmers, little brother, baby bird, Timothy if he’s angry. The big bad bat is B. Agent 1 is Alfie. Cassandra is Cass. Stephanie is Steph. I’m Jay, Jaybrid, Little Wing…” His voice trailed off as if in thought before refocusing on the frozen boy beneath him. His eyes were wide and dark as if completely consumed, “He names the people he loves and he must not love you if he just calls you Damian.”

Damian couldn’t breathe. Everything in him was frozen, unable to move. Everything just seemed to click and he couldn’t lift a finger even if Todd pulled a knife and slid it across his throat.

Jason pushed off him, leaving him sprawled on the roof as if he sensed the broken pieces inside him scattering as he weaved back toward his upturned bottle near the edge of the building voice trailing behind him.

“Didn’t you ever think of all the broken promises?” His voice took on a higher mocking tone, “I’m just a phone call away. Call me if you need anything. I’ll come visit-”

“I won’t be your Batman anymore, but we’ll still be family. I’ll always be there when you need me.” A blindingly white smile from the shadow of the cowl.

Damian’s heartbeat thundered in his ears as his eyes stared fixedly into the sky.

Liar.

“We’re a family.” He could hear the sneer as the liquid sloshed against the glass of the bottle as it was tipped against lips.

Liar.

“But he hasn’t, has he? Not one damned call. Not one visit.” Jason waved a hand against the sky now stamped with the bat signal. “All those platitudes about family, but really they were just empty words so you would behave. So you would toe the line. They were nothing. He is nothing!” He was screaming now, “Lies. They were all lies!”  

The bottle arched gracefully through the air and shattered against the brick of the wall. The slide of the clear liquid was mesmerizing. It was all he could look at.

It made sense-everything Todd had said. Made. Sense.

Clarity hit him like a fist.

All those aborted phone calls-the moment he’d actually dared to let it ring to completion. Voice mail. Not that he’d ever lower himself to actually leave a message…but every time? It had gotten to the point that he’d call just to hear the other man’s voice over the line, even altered slightly by the electronic device it was soothing and he’d gotten past the fear that he’d ever have to actually talk to the man. He never picked up his damned phone.

Then again-maybe he just didn’t pick it up for him.

Or the rare instances he’d actually seen him, his suit flashing red and black in the night where it had once been blue and a dark lingering cape.

It was never to stop by and say, ‘hi’ or even in casual civilian clothes. It was always as a vigilante. It was always business.

Never as family unless there was someone else was around to see. Never lingering. Never just for him or maybe not even for him at all.

Todd was right. It was lies. All of it was lies.

A pretty leash for a child. One of alluring smiles, warm hugs and words strung with lies and deceit. All of it unnecessary now that his Father had returned. He was free. And Damian…he was left in a shattered world of his illusions.

He had given up his entire world to follow a man that didn’t want to be in his.

He hadn’t realized he was standing until he felt a hand grip his shoulder in a silent squeeze and his eyes snapped into focus.

Nightwing was standing beside him, his left hand gripping his right shoulder, his head tilted in a silent question before he focused on Todd, letting his hand drop as he took a step forward.

“Okay, what’s all the ruckus now, Little Wing?”

Damian felt a drop in the pit of his stomach. He’d come, but not for him.

Todd was watching them, a hint of pit madness on his face, a twist of cruelty to his smile as he watched Nightwing advance.  

Not one glance. No hint in his body posture that he was aware of anything other than Todd before him.

Todd, for his part, was now grinning against the wall as he swayed slightly even while he was standing as Dick made his way over toward him. He didn’t even put up a fight as Grayson threw Todd’s arm over his shoulder and wrapped an arm around the larger man’s waist to keep him steady.

He swallowed, set his shoulders and stepped forward, “Nightwing-”

Dick’s voice cut him off as he grabbed his grappling gun, “Robin, you should go. I can take care of this. B is waiting for you.”

“Yes, Robin. You should go. Like a good little bird.” Jason’s voice snickered as he released more of his weight onto Dick, making him grunt.

Their eyes met and held and he forced himself to breathe. To calm the slight tremor to his fingers.

It was an act. Everything. A lie. Something he could no longer afford.

He smoothly removed his own grappling gun, swung in the opposite direction and pulled the trigger.

Even now he couldn’t watch. Couldn’t see that familiar figure in a different costume.

The man he remembered coming into stark contrast with the man he actually was. The man who didn’t-

He let the force of the line yank him from his feet and swing him up into the sky telling himself that the sharp wind was the reason for his shortness of breath and sprinkling of tears beneath his mask.

Even now he could hear Jason laughing.

Dick watched as Damian’s form disappeared and wondered at the boy’s silence. His body posture had been off, his focus wandering. He’d been completely open when he’d landed on the roof. He hadn’t even noticed him until he’d grabbed his shoulder-it wasn’t like him.

Something was definitely wrong to throw Damian so far off his game that he didn’t notice someone approaching his back. He’d have to have a talk with him later. It was dangerous-

Jason leaned in to him, laughing, his whole body shaking with it. He reeked of booze, but Dick couldn’t find it in his heart to be angry. He always got somewhat unstable on the anniversary of his death. Letting the pit madness take him farther away from Jason for that short time. Wallowing in a despair he didn’t usually allow himself. That’s why he’d come to find him, but Damian had found him first.

He quickly hooked Jason to his belt so he wouldn’t drop while they were mid swing and aimed his hook toward a safe house where Jason could stay until he slept off whatever he’d already done tonight.

“What were you talking with Damian about?”

Jason snorted, nose digging into the side of his neck, “Batman. I was telling him the truth about our Batman.”

Dick ignored the slight worry that suddenly threaded into his gut and made his chest clench as he swung them into the night.

Damian Wayne X Reader- What do you mean? Part 2

This was requested by @twilight-loveer, @maryry24, and @thelast-flying-grayson.  Thank you for requesting!  This was a fun story to continue!

——–

You sat on the counter in the manor’s kitchen, once again devouring some of Alfred’s delicious cookies.  Your dad had dropped you off at the manor because of a mission, and you were worried for him, and binge eating seemed like the perfect answer.  You went to reach for another cookie but found the plate empty.  Your head immediately turned to see the caffeine junkie himself dipping your last cookie in his coffee.  You were mentally planning many ways to kill him and hide his body when he noticed you glaring at him.

“You know sharing is caring,” he said.

“And stealing is wrong,” you quipped, “Don’t you beat the crap out of people who do that?”

Your glare turned into a malicious smirk.  His blue eyes widened as he slowly backed away towards the door to the hall.  You slinked off of the counter and ran towards him.  He let out an unmanly yelp and ran out of the room with you following.  You eventually caught up with him and tackled him to the ground, causing him to get the wind knocked out of him.  

You sat on his back and asked, “What did you do with my cookies?”

“I stole them,” he wheezed out.

“And who’s scarier: me or Batman?”

“Definitely you.”

You smirked once again and got off of him.  You walked into the kitchen and found Alfred with a new batch of cookies and medical supplies next to them.  You hopped back up on your spot on the counter and grabbed the still warm cookies.  You groaned in delight when it melted in your mouth.

“Thanks, Alfie.”

“It’s my pleasure, Miss (Y/N).  Did you really have to do that to Master Tim?”

“Hey! He stole my cookies and he had to pay the price.”

Alfred let out a chuckle and grabbed the medical supplies.  Tim walked back into the kitchen and grabbed his coffee without making eye contact with you.  He exited quickly and left you with Alfred.

You looked over to him and asked, “Do you think I was easy on him?”

——–

Damian’s laughter echoed throughout the manor.  When he asked you about the first time you met Tim, he wasn’t expecting that.  He wiped the tears out of his eyes and looked at you.  It had been a few years since he had met you, and you still were the mouthy bad ass that he grew to be in love with.  He loves your attitude, your ability to fight, and now he can add your disliking of Tim to the list.  The only problem was he didn’t know if you returned his feelings.  He was worried if he told you, it would ruin your friendship and he would have to face your father’s wrath.   If only he knew you love him too.

You looked over to Damian and wondered when you realized your feelings for him.  Maybe it was love at first sight?  Fuck no.  Was it teenage hormones? Probably.  You knew that having a crush on your best friend was the most cliché and idiotic thing you had ever done.  His laughter is contagious, his personality is one of a kind…. You could go on forever about the quirks of Damian that stole your heart, but to save time you made those points the main reasons why.  Why did he have to be so damn perfect?  You even tried talking to your dad about your feelings, but that ended in a disaster.

——–

“What do you mean ‘you have a crush on the demon’, (Y/N)?” your father asked, “Really?  I understand that you dislike Tim and all of that, but why him of all people?”

“Maybe because he’s my only friend who hasn’t run for the hills yet and also has a vigilante dad who could start a no-dating club with you,“ you said the last part sarcastically.

Jason let out a big sigh.  When he decided when he was going to take care of you, he knew the teenage years would be a pain in the ass, but he never expected this.  His daughter, his mini me, fell in love with one of the things he couldn’t stand.  Why did life have to be so cruel?

“If you really like him, then I’m okay with it,” he choked out.

You smiled and jumped on Jason to give him a huge bear hug, “If he does piss me off I give you permission to get your shotgun out my lovely father.”

Jason laughed and returned the hug, “That’s my girl.  So do I have to start the sex talk?”

“Dad!”

“It all starts when two people fall in love and feel that special bond-”

“DAD!!!”

——–

You internally cringed at that memory.  Your humor is as bad as his, but that was worse.  You looked over to Damian and saw that he was staring at you.

“What?  Is my true form showing?” you asked while smirking.

“I guess then you are an angel,” Damian said.

“Sorry, Damian, but I crawled out from the depths of hell,” you joked, thinking that he was messing around with you.

“That’s why you’re hot.”

Your head immediately turned to him, “Damian Wayne, did you just flirt off of my joke to your original flirt?”

He nodded and pulled you in for a heart-stopping kiss.  You immediately melted into his arms and returned the favor.  He pulled you close and broke the kiss.

“I guess this means that you return my feelings?” he questioned.

“Maybe.”

“THAT GOES INTO THE SCRAPBOOK!!”

You shrieked at the sound of a booming voice and fell off of the bed, taking Damian with you.  You popped your head over the bed to find your father clutching his stomach with a camera in his left hand.

“Really?”

“Hey, it’s my job to embarrass and protect you.  You’re lucky that I don’t do dad jokes.”

“Yes, but you do have a nasty sense of humor.”

“So do you.”

“Where do you think I learned it from?” you questioned.

anonymous asked:

I love the gifset you reblogged with Pete and Gwen! I was just wondering what was wrong(?) with the Homecoming review you mentioned in your tags? What are your thoughts on Homecoming? :) Anyways love your blog and your writing! Have a great day!

Thank you! So I have somewhat unsuccessfully attempted not to be Really Negative about Homecoming, except on twitter where I’ve clearly given up altogether, but heads up: I’m about to be pretty negative because I care way too much about Peter Parker. My opinions are my own, etc. Right off the bat: I actually do think Spider-Man: Homecoming is going to be a fun summer movie. It’s probably well-written and engaging! It looks like a good movie about a teenage superhero coming into his own and I’m excited about the diverse cast. 

It also, in my own opinion, looks like a terrible movie about Peter Parker.

There was nothing wrong with the review (it was in USA Today) so much as that literally everything it described made me, a person who loves Peter Parker, cringe. Full disclaimer that I haven’t seen Homecoming yet and it’s plausible I might like it in the end! I won’t, but it’s plausible! So everything I’m talking about is based on interviews with the cast and creators/trailers and released scenes/etc. 

But I’ve got so much beef with this movie I practically own a cattle ranch. 

I’m just going to try to hit my main complaints: Ned Leeds, or, This Should Have Been a Miles Morales Movie, Peter as a New Yorker, Peter Parker vs Spider-Man: A Fake Argument, and Why We Actually Do Need To Know How Ben Died, Thanks. “Traincat, how much have you thought about this?” I don’t want to talk about it! Except I do, under the cut:

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another time pt. 7 | alfie solomons

[part one] [part two] [part three] [part four] [part five] [part six

“Oh, for fucks sake” Alfie exclaimed and collapsed into the armchair.

“Listen, mister-“

“I was trying to be a good man. I was trying to play it by the book, just once” you sighed and dropped to perch on the arm rest of the sofa, watching his theatrics “and this is the thanks I get”

“Are you done?” he shot you a look, dropping his arm to the rest.

“Yeah, I’m done”

“Good. Because as thankful as I am for the…dead ladies clothes” you paused “I really am going to need some knickers, Alfie”

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