i made a thing to help me deal with my anger

Already Gone

Prompt: “I don’t love you, I never have.”

Word Count: 2,011.

Warnings: Foul language, and emotional abuse.

A/N: I wrote this for @bionic-buckyb‘s writing challenge! She recently hit 5k followers (congrats again sweetie) and I decided to challenge myself this once and wrote out this heartbreaking fic! I took a lot of inspiration from a novel I’m currently reading at the moment, and I honestly think it set the right mood for me to take some inspo from. I would also like to say a special thank you to the very kind @whothehellisbella for dealing with me and helping me out big time as I wrote all of this out. As always, please let me know what you all thought of this and I hope you enjoy!

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Thirteen Reasons Why - Explained

Thirteen Reasons Why

I’ve seen a lot of posts about Hannah being a ‘drama queen’ or overreacting to small things everyone did so I thought I’d explain a bit about what I understood.

1. Justin - Justin exaggerated what he and Hannah did. While this seems mild, it set Hannah up for a terrible high school career because she earned the reputation of 'slut’. This happens so often in schools and in the adult world and can RUIN someone’s life in a certain, if not all areas.

2. Alex - Alex put Hannah as having the best ass against Jessica as the worst. It is clear that the internet is doing its thing again and not taking time to understand things properly; this was NOT A COMPLIMENT AND HANNAH HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. It was a clear violation of friendship and an obvious example of men pitting women against each other for their own benefit.

3. Jessica - I’m going more by the book here, but Jessica was on the tapes because she didn’t believe Hannah and abandoned her when she needed her. A clear example of how people can easily be lead by others and girls turning on each other because of guys. Jessica deserved to be on the tapes because she didn’t hear Hannah’s side of the story and instead took her anger out on her first friend at the school.

4. Tyler - I don’t think I need to explain much about this, but he abused his position as a photographer in school to violate boundaries for his own pleasure similar to how a lot of people in a power exploit those below them. He made Hannah feel vulnerable and took the lack of comfort she felt at school to her own bedroom.

5. Courtney - I suppose this is kind of harder to understand. Courtney was a closeted lesbian and therefore it is understandable that she was upset at the thought of her being outed before she was ready, but Hannah confided in her to help her expose someone else and instead she protected herself by further ruining Hannah. This shows the selfishness of those who feel the need to protect themselves by harming others.

6. Marcus - I haven’t seen much on Marcus honestly, but I dislike him immensely. He took advantage of Hannah because of the impression of her he had put together from rumours created by other reasons (Justin, Courtney) which is an expression of how men feel owed something from women, especially those who are seen as 'slutty’.

7. Zach - At first glance, Zach doesn’t seem too bad. At half a second glimpse, this changes. Hannah rejected him because he said something silly, a mistake, and if he had made an obvious effort to explain and apologise, he could have helped Hannah. Instead, he chooses to punish her by preventing her from receiving happiness from others. This is one of the clearest examples of how men can’t handle a woman’s right to say 'no’ and reject him…

8. Ryan - This tape is similar to that of Tyler in that he made her feel unsafe. What Tyler did was worse than Ryan, however the effect of Ryan’s actions had (in my opinion) worse consequences that Tyler’s. Ryan published her poem because he thought it was something that needed to be shared, a selfish and naive action (when considering the maturity of high school students), which meant that Hannah’s personal thoughts were no longer her own. She was not comfortable at school, home or in her own mind.

9. Clay - Though I agree when Hannah states that he shouldn’t have been on the tapes, Clay does represent 'everyone else’ who stands by and watched people like Hannah slowly fade and retreat into themselves because of the actions of others. The 'bystanders’ if you will, whose lack of part in our stories can be just as important as those who intrude on us.

10. Justin - It is evident in the series that Justin was extremely haunted by the rape at Jessica’s party and this is probably why he is gaining so much sympathy… this is also why I recommend you all READ THE BOOK. Justin stood by and watched his friend rape his girlfriend, why is he receiving more sympathy than I’ve seen for Jessica? Of course it was hard for Justin to witness that, but staying friends with Bryce and staying with Jessica without telling her is reason enough for him to be on the tapes again.

11. Jenny - Jenny was kind to Hannah, offering her a lift home, but she didn’t take responsibility for knocking down the stop sign which lead to someone’s DEATH. The guilt that Hannah was left with from this (because she was in the car) was understandably overwhelming, especially as the victim was a classmate who was blamed for drunk driving. Jenny is an example of how our reckless actions and lack of responsibility for them can destroy other lives; is that not the entire plot?

12. Bryce - Lord help you if you need an explaination.

13. Mr Porter - A perfect example of how there is not enough support out there for students (and people in general, honestly). The counsellor advising Hannah to 'move on’ after she confides in him that she was raped is one of the most haunting moments in the entire series, solidifying her reason for suicide- she had no comfort amongst her classmates, in her own home, in her mind and now, the specialist designated for dealing with situations like this bore no real interest in her problems and told her to 'move on’.

It’s extremely important for us when watching shows with topics like this to remember many things.

First, the show is not just this situation. Everything represents something more in society; each tape side is a problem in the world that leads to suicide, not only a small action by one character leading to Hannah Baker’s suicide. If you need help in understanding this, or want something else similar to this story, I recommend watching or reading 'An Inspector Calls’ by J.B. Priestly- a masterful piece tackling classism/sexism and how each person’s seemingly small actions lead to a girl’s suicide.

Second, memes are sometimes funny. The 'Clay every time he sees Tony’ memes are really funny, the 'fuck off, Courtney’ memes are funny, but the 'welcome to your tape over a slight inconvenience’ memes, they’re not. The show is raising awareness for the seriousness of suicide, not to create a fanbase of jokes about it. Promoting these after you watch the show, is a clear statement that you haven’t understood why it was made and is completely unacceptable.

Third, separate the character from the actor. Justin Prentice is NOT Bryce Walker, do not spam his comments with disgusting name calling or threatening- this is CLEARLY wrong and unnecessary. This also works the other way: Brandon Flynn is NOT Justin Foley. Just because Brandon is attractive and nice, doesn’t mean his character becomes as such.

Please don’t turn 13 reasons why into another generic element of pop culture. I love pop culture, don’t get me wrong, but we have a tendency to begin digging for meaning and giving up halfway; overusing the profound starting points of progress we find by loosely throwing them around, emptying them of all meaning.

unpopular opinion: there’s no way we can get a great garnet episode at this point

aka why i can understand why garnet stopped having episodes dedicated to her.

this isnt to justify the lack of episodes dedicated to her, but rather my anger and frustrations with the crewniverse for repeatedly stunting any development for her and turning her into a really bland and overly forgiving mom character

garnet transformed from this mysterious mother figure that would do quirky things and have spouts of anger to a faux progressive happy go lucky character (odlaws’ put my issue into words perfectly if you wanna understand it more)

like back in season 1? what were garnet’s flaws:

she was awkward, she would turn violent if you pushed her hard enough, she over estimates steven, she can lose focus easily, her stoic persona made her come off as uncaring and intimidating

after jailbreak, keeping it together and cry for help you would think garnet would face new conflicts such as trust issues, dealing with PTSD, coping with horrific imagery, letting things go, etc

but no. we never get any of that. we’re not ALLOWED to get any of that. instead all that emotion and turmoil is given to ruby and sapphire. really godbless these characters, i still love them to death and despite some of my issues with keystone motel, its still a really solid and enjoyable ep. But this arc was supposed to be about garnet being hurt. pearl was jealous of garnet and pearl hurt garnet. when pearl was insulting sugilite no one went “how rude of pearl to insult amethyst and garnet”. We all understood that sugilite was a separate identity who made her own decisions and garnet and amethyst weren’t influencing it. 

even when ruby and sapphire were angry about how they were hurt, RUBY was in the wrong because she didnt want to forgive pearl right away and sapphire told her that forgiving pearl was the right thing. ignoring the fact that that was a terrible message to send, that you need to just forgive people who hurt you right away just because they’re close friends, we never get a chance to see garnet vent and show her anger. even in Friend Ship, it ended with garnet playing the life coach for pearl DESPITE pearl not giving a proper apology and instead making bad excuses and using guilt tripping tactics (”im not strong enough” “im just useless”). its like the tumblr equivalent of someone going “i know i did something bad i get it im trash i deserve to die”. But garnet can’t shut that down can she? garnet cant receive a good apology can she? no she has to sit down and stroke Pearl’s ego for a goddamn minute.

garnet cant express her feelings because that’s wrong and bad! pearl can scream at a child and smack a wall simply because he tried to be supportive but garnet cant be mad. garnet’s not allowed to express her feelings. Friend Ship and Cry For Help made me realize something awful.

when garnet’s mad its not sympathetic, it’s scary

back in season 1 I forgave it since garnet was an imposing figure. she’s weird and mysterious. when she was mad it was over things like accidentally getting her glasses knocked off and ronaldo kidnapping steven. you could laugh at the situation with her and not really take her anger seriously enough

so you would think given the circumstances, the writers would understand that we should sympathize with garnet since she was violated. which isnt at all funny and nearly made her defuse.

But you’re not supposed to empathize with garnet. you’re not supposed to relate to her. You’re not supposed to go “poor garnet thats so messed up”. you’re instead supposed to react like “Yeah that was messed up but WHY is she mad at pearl :(”

amethyst complains about the house being awkward and taking neither sides despite it clearly being something that she should be supporting garnet in. steven doesnt support garnet either. when pearl snapped at steven in Rose’s Scabbard, steven chases after her and spends some time with her to lift her mood. But steven didn’t care to do anything for garnet. Steven didn’t invite her to come to the motel. Steven didn’t take the time to talk to her. and Steven didn’t make any attempt to relate to her.

and yet guess who did get the good ol’ “get coddled like a baby” treatment.

pearl. someone who was the cause of all this drama. who not only violated a friend several times, but delayed their mission and risked endangering everyone for the sake of feeling good about herself. but ofc the writer’s woobie fave could never do anything wrong :(

an entire arc that should’ve been meant to flesh out both garnet and pearl ended up shelving garnet and treating pearl like the victim in all of this. that SHE’S the one who needs help.

how insulting

a black woman who sang a song about the importance of love and fusion, who nearly fell apart when she saw forced fusions, is not the victim in this. the Cry For Help was about pearl. garnet needed to drop all her feelings for pearl.

And afterwards it just went downhill from there. its like the show completely gave up on garnet.

more focus and screen time was given to ruby and sapphire, who again i love, but get more development than garnet.

and finally we reach “Log Date 7 15 2″ or as i like to call it “the rise of magical negro garnet”

Peridot’s comments don’t piss off Garnet. You don’t see her get visibly angry. She barely musters a response except for mildly bored look. I wasn’t asking for “garnet beats up peridot for being a homophobe”, but I know very well that garnet would not be the type to just allow Peridot to spend several days making off color comments. Garnet looks bored to mildly pleased. 

You could call this character development except… not really? Garnet smiling more does not equal Garnet being way more tolerant of disrespectful behavior. But since this was an arc for peridot i forgave it a bit. 

But then came episodes like Gem Harvest where Garnet would seriously be the last person to just shut up and tolerate Andy’s disrespectful behavior. And in Mindful Education we see garnet using ruby and sapphire to express how they handle trauma rather than Garnet using her own emotions.

Garnet isn’t flawed anymore. Garnet doesn’t make awkward comments or act in ways that are oddly violent. She’s not brash or passionate. She’s just there to offer advice.

Finally there’s Room For Ruby, an episode that made me sit and go “there is no way in hell this is the same garnet before”

  • garnet was already cautious with Steven trying to train a corrupted gem, why would she not even moniter him teaching Navy about earth (i know they think she’s dumb but she’s not an animal and there’s a reason why the diamonds sent out those rubies)
  • garnet saw a future where navy did not care about being a crystal gem and did nothing. excuse me? Garnet says herself her future vision works like a river with various streams connecting to it, and relies on the future thats most common (she when she jumped in front of a spilled coffee pot to protect steven). garnet even understood at the end of the episode that bad futures are possible and risky, and if they’re most common she needs needs to act on it. why on earth would garnet see a future where navy takes the ship and leave and not do anything about it
  • she was waaaaay too laxed about steven failing to stop navy. remember when she said she was terrified of Blue Diamond? Or when she smashed a warp pad just for seeing peridot show up? 

garnet’s cool with everything now. she doesnt care. she became the most assertive member of the team to the most passive. she’s easy to convince and push. she lacks any depth outside of “quiet mom who smiles sometimes”.

i cant believe im saying this but i honestly thing the crew fucked with her personality harder than lapis. because at least in lapis’s case, there was no concrete identity for her.

but there was one for garnet, one we all loved. 

awkward, funny, quirky, sensitive and assertive garnet.

the writers could have developed it more and jailbreak made me believe we were going to see more of her. but instead the writers decided decided “Garnet with layered personalities is a bit too much for us. so we gotta simplify her. make her the walking shoulder to cry on. the friend that enables everything you do, she just loves steven and thats all that matters.”

and that’s all garnet is now. she’s almost like peridot. happy go lucky, overly forgiving and a shell of her former self.

and that makes me mad

Imagine - Zach breaks up with you

Originally posted by pitterpratter

@thrtreasons Request: “pls zach x reader where they dated for a long time and they were super goals but then they broke up idk why and he’s still in love with her and you know he’s not doing well after the tapes and she notices and helps him?? i mean he tells her everything and thinks she’ll hate him etc anyway thank you💫”

It has been exactly one month since you and Zach have broken up, and it was over something extremely stupid. It was over an argument that the two of you had. An argument over the fact that you and Bryce were “too friendly with each other”. Clearly Zach had gone mad. Because you would never cheat on him, and certainly not with Bryce Walker. That guy was a complete asshole and a pervert. If anything, he was always flirting with you, even though you were dating one of his best friends. But you had no intention what so ever to cheat on Zach with Bryce. You loved Zach, you truly did. And he loved you, but clearly not as much as you though because he couldn’t see how it was not you being “too friendly” with Bryce but the other way around.

It has been a painful month for you after the break up. You and Zach were perfect for each other, in your eyes and in the eyes of most of the students at Liberty high. You two were the “IT” couple. Always the talk of the school on how cute the two of you were together and how others wished that they had what you and Zach had. Why did things have to end between the two of you. You remember the night where everything went downhill, like it was yesterday…

“I’m not ‘all over Bryce’ Zach! That’s ridiculous!” You yell.

You and Zach were sitting in your living. Your parents were gone for the weekend on some business trip and Zach had promise to keep you company in the time being. So he had come over to your house so the two of you could cuddle and watch some movies. But things turned south pretty quickly…

“Sure you’re not.” Zach scoffs “You two are always flirting with each other! And right in front of me too!” He booms out.

“You know I’m really surprised that you haven’t left me for him yet, slut…” He breathes out the last word that you nearly missed what he said.

But it’s too late. You heard it. And you have never been more humiliated and furious in your life.

You look at him straight in the eyes, seething, and slap him. Hard. Right across his face.

“You know what!? Fuck you Zachary!” You spit out. “I fucking hate you! Get out!”

Zach scoffs and then says with malice, “Sure, I’ll leave, but know this, we’re fucking done (Y/N). I don’t even know why I went out with such a slut like you in the first place.” Then Zach walks out your door.

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How to keep someone safe through drug addiction

Here are a few things I have learned to keep my partner safe while using. This may be controversial to some people or described as ‘enabling’ but I think knowing what to do and what not to do will save lives for sure.
Drug addiction is a crippling, awful thing and I do not advise anyone to take any drug without extensive knowledge and precaution.
However if you want to keep the people you love safe then these things may really help, especially in life saving situations.

1. NEVER LET THEM SLEEP ON THEIR BACK.
This has caused deaths in many cases because when using opiates the body goes into respiratory depression (slowed breathing) and it makes it much harder for them to breathe and much easier for them to choke if they sleep on their backs.
Wake them up if you have to. Turn them into the recovery position (on their left or right side, hands away from the face, legs crossed) and make sure there is no obstructions in their mouth. Keep checking up on them throughout the night, if you can, invest in a blood pressure monitor just for peace of mind to check their pulse isn’t too low. I know the normal range for my boyfriend, and can see on there if it’s anything abnormal.

2.MAKE SURE THEY GET PLENTY OF WATER.
Whilst using, they are not in a normal frame of mind, ie: breakfast lunch or dinner aren’t going to be a priority when they are withdrawing or high / fully sedated. The ideal amount of water to consume in a day is 2.2 litres so try and get them to have a few glasses of water every now and then. Check their temperature and if needed get a cold flannel to cool them down, this can help with withdrawal.

3. BE AS SUPPORTIVE AS YOU CAN.
This may seem obvious, but those trips to the clinic or the hours trying to score can be really draining mentally as well as physically for someone, especially when they are withdrawing. Knowing you are there for them, holding their hand and being there will make a world of difference. Your love and support will encourage the person in recovery because it will give them something to fight for if they know you are there helping them and shining a small light on a really dark situation.


4. KNOW THE WITHDRAWAL SIGNS FOR YOUR LOVED ONE.
These are a list of basic symptoms my partner experiences and are common as well.
- irritation/irrational anger
- sweating
- nausea and diarrhoea
-panic attacks
-anxiety
-fidgety
-shakes
-high blood pressure
-severe migraines

5. HELP THEM WITH BASIC NEEDS.
What I mean by this is, most people using drugs have pretty bad mental health and are struggling mentally foremost, but this is a catalyst for poor hygiene, bad physical health and emotional withdrawal.
Try and get them to go for a walk every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Fresh air and exercise is the best medicine next to good nutrition.
Help them tidy up, wash and clean themselves. It’s likely their living space is going to be dirty so where you can, put things in the bin, get rid of any used needles or bloody tissues and make sure they are tied up in a big rubbish bag and disposed of. Get them any deodorant or nice products to help them with good self care as this can be a real help in recovery as well. When I’m not feeling good a shower and a shave always makes me feel better.
Try and get them to talk about how their feeling, if it’s good or if it’s bad, and just listen. I’m not asking you to be a therapist, just be there when they need someone to share their pain and to emotionally support them. It will do wonders for their self esteem and also recovery.

6. UNDERSTAND YOU MAY HAVE TO PUT THINGS ON HOLD.
Drug addiction is a life long battle this person is going to have to deal with. Just like any disorder or addiction it is going to take a lot of work and a lot of time and effort and a want to get better. This means their needs will have to come first when they are seeking help, especially in the beginning. If you want your loved one to get better you are going to have to accept your me time will be put on hold for a little while and things you have to do will have to be moved around in order to help the person suffering. Remember it is them going through this, but also you, so when you get a chance do take some time for yourself and remind yourself what a great job you are doing by taking care of them in this time if need. You are literally saving a human beings’ life, I don’t know anything more rewarding than that.

7. RESPECT YOUR LOVED ONE.
What I mean by this is, don’t shout about it to everyone you know that this person is going through drug addiction. It’s terrible enough as it is, without people talking about it and making them feel even worse about themselves. They will be much more likely to use / hurt themselves if they are made to feel ashamed or guilty about their problems. That’s not a place I would wish anyone to be. The people they care most about will be informed, and if that’s you then consider it a privilege that they have chosen you to be someone they can confide in.

8. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If you see any signs in your loved one which worry you or make you feel concerned, do not hesitate to call the emergency services. That is what they are there for.
If someone is nodding out on opiates (heroin, morphine, codeine,
oxies etc) check their breathing and shake them a little just to make sure they are okay. If they go anywhere by themselves whilst high be sure to check on them for example in the bath they could nod out and drown if left alone for too long.
If you know they are on drugs and have passed out on the floor and aren’t responding, check their pulse and immediately call an ambulance. This is when it is essential to get help. Do not hit or try and shake them vigorously as this can cause brain damage. Wait for the emergency services to arrive.

If your loved one is an opiate user, CARRY NALOXONE! And learn how to administer it. Naloxone will completely reverse all side effects so if they are not responding this will bring them back to a sober state but they will be fully withdrawing. Call emergency services straight after administering the naloxone.

I can’t think of anything much more to add other than just to love these people and to treat them as you would anybody else who is suffering and in pain. Your love will help them, no matter how tough it seems, no matter how many sleepless nights and no matter how drained you may feel, I promise you it is worth it when you keep these people safe and alive.

From A, with love x
P.s my ask box is open for any questions or help with keeping your loved one safe through drug addiction.

Slight Changes || Park Jimin

Originally posted by lonastic

Word Count: 1.9k

Genre: Angst/Fluff


“You can’t be serious Y/N, it wasn’t even my fault.” You ignored Jimin’s voice as you stormed away from him and walked into the kitchen. The only thing you wanted to do right now was get away from him, but it seemed that no matter how far you got from him he would just appear right behind you again.

“Yes, Jimin, I am serious. What would make you think otherwise?” Your tone was bitter, anger flooding through you and exiting in the form of words. There was no other way for you to release it so you just had to deal with trying your best to stay calm and not completely flip out on your boyfriend. Jimin sighed loudly before speaking again, causing you to turn around and look at him.

“She was just a fan, fan’s get close. It’s not my fault.” He argued. You rolled your eyes, feeling more anger rise at the fact that he was trying to defend himself over this. The picture had been all over twitter and it seemed that ARMY’s were going crazy over it. They had been tweeting it at you, waiting for some kind of reaction, but you held back until the moment he got home and you could confront him about it.

“It’s your fault that you didn’t try to ask her to move, and it’s your fault that you didn’t mention me, you know, your girlfriend.” You said.

“God you always get like this.” Jimin’s tone surprised you, and you couldn’t help but feel a little taken aback by his words. There wasn’t anything about it that was very different, just a slight undertone of frustration that you weren’t used to. Jimin was always calm with you, even now while you were practically yelling at you he was keeping his normal tone.

“What do you mean I always get like this?” You asked.

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Talks Machina Highlights: Episode 94
  • Denise message: “MY WORDS ARE A SPELL I’M CASTING ON YOU ALL”
  • Everybody will be in next week’s ep for the continuation of Liam’s one-shot!
  • If Pike had been in the Nine Hells, Percy probably would’ve signed the contract secretly as opposed to up-front. She’s the only one who can actually evoke shame in them at this point.
  • Taliesin was planning the entire time to scry on Scanlan and has been trying to make an excuse to steal the Scrying Eye for weeks.
  • Pike’s moment with the earring, talking to Scanlan, was 100% improv.
  • Laura suspects Sam wouldn’t have been able to pull off Scanlan’s departure if Pike had been there. As it was, after the show went on break, Sam felt so bad that he ran over and gave a hug to everyone. If he’d made Pike cry, according to Laura: “he’d be UNFORGIVABLE.”
  • Taliesin semi-bullshitted the Grey Hunt stuff and Matt rolled with it. Taliesin gave him a ride to the airport the next day and they talked about how much they enjoyed how it worked out.
  • Laura points out that she’s the type of gamer who reloaded the game 20 times in ME3 to try to find a way to get a resolution that would be good for everyone when one didn’t exist, and she had that same sense of frustration when she got home after the game. She was really upset over the resolution of the Grey Hunt, but is feeling a bit better knowing it at least wasn’t failure.
  • Ashley and Travis both briefly thought the Grey Hunt was gonna be a weird proposal. Taliesin: “I feel like in our friends group the proposals have been getting more and more ridiculous. That would be the meta-continuation.”
  • Taliesin points out that Percy has a problem with abandonment and the whole thing with Scanlan is hitting his “really serious anger management issues.” Percy was hoping to get Vex’s vague permission/help over the Scanlan thing, and when it wasn’t forthcoming, he changed his plans to be less extreme. Percy’s also dealing with guilt over not feeling useful in the underwater fight, and is displacing that as anger over Scanlan not being there to mitigate that issue.
  • Pike’s got a lot of lingering resentment over Scanlan leaving.
  • Vex would’ve approached the Hunt differently if she’d known more about the creature ahead of time. Everyone decides that it probably killed a lot of small, cute woodland creatures when it threw the tree at Vex.
  • Percy’s most angry about Scanlan leaving the group and abandoning his responsibilities. Everyone else has to deal with the horrible shit going on, but he’s the one who gets to fall apart.
  • Ashley was disappointed not to be in the Hells—she was wondering if she might’ve had a permanent shift in her personality as a result of staying there. Ashley really struggled with playing Pike as a good character early in the home game.
  • Vex was at 10 HP at the end of the Hunt. Taliesin didn’t think there was a real chance of death there, because Matt’s great at building tests that are terribly difficult but not fatal, but was more worried that she was gonna fail. Laura: “God, I would’ve felt like a loser!”
  • Ashley and Laura have both kept themselves from watching the scene that was just Taliesin and Sam and Matt in the room.
  • The idea of leaving with Scanlan crossed Ashley’s mind when she watched the episode, but it’s tough to tell what would’ve happened if she’d been there, because so much of the show is in-the-moment.
  • Vex thinks of Whitestone as home, more than Greyskull.
  • Pike feels some guilt over Scanlan’s departure because of the pranking. “I never thought he would be mad at something like that, of all people.” Percy didn’t feel bad about it, because that’s not where Scanlan’s anger really came from. Pike still feels bad, knowing that.
  • Poor Brian has food poisoning and had to run off-set midway through the show. Ashley jumps in to take over. “Okay, Laura and Ashley. Uh. Me.”
  • Taliesin says Percy and Cassandra don’t really talk about personal things—she probably doesn’t know about Vex, although she suspects. They love each other and all, but they’re not a very warm family. “It’s cold and we live in a castle, for god’s sake.” Laura sums it up: “Cassandra is no Vax.” Percy and Cassandra weren’t super close as kids. “She was a brat.”
  • Brian judges Ashley for not coming up with a funnier excuse for his running off-screen.
  • Vex and Vax have been growing into their own people over the past few months, but Laura doesn’t know how Vex will deal with being in Whitestone without having Vax around, without the comfort of knowing the person she loves most is nearby.
  • Percy has come up with contingency plans for if the other party members go rogue. Brian: “Tell me about it.” Taliesin: “No. They’re in the room.”
  • Vex has an affinity for nature, and while she’s growing accustomed to Whitestone, she’s more comfortable not being around people, because it lets her keep from putting on an act.
  • Before Pike died, her hair was black (with a purple streak), and after she died, her hair turned white.
  • Ashley gets asked about Pike’s parents and grandparents, and there is a story there, but she refuses to answer in case it comes up in the game.
  • Someone asks about Percy breaking his "honesty streak.” Taliesin: “It’s not an honesty streak, it’s just a period of not being caught lying.” Laura: “People think [Percy]’s much better than he is.” 
  • Blurbs on the back of Tary’s book. Percy: “A fascinating addition to the Audubon chronicles of Emon.” Vex: “Don’t believe the lies.” Pike: “I enjoyed the artwork in particular. Great read, but the artwork is fantastic. By the late and great artist, Doty(e), someone whom we used to know.”

Talks Machine in the Dark:

  • If Pike had a companion along the lines of Trinket, it would be a baby snow owl.
  • Taliesin wants fanart of Strawberry Shortcake-esque little animal pets for all of them.
  • Taliesin hasn’t thought about what Grog’s title would entail. “Now that you’ve said it, I’m having thoughts, and they’re all ridiculous and a little mean.”
  • Favorite spells outside their class: all agree that Chromatic Spray is cool. Taliesin misses using Prestidigitation. Brian: “I don’t have that spell because I can’t pronounce it.”
  • Percy smells like sandalwood and gunpowder.
  • After a long debate over which character would win in a Survivor AU, they eventually decide everyone would survive and they’d all do just fine together.
  • Ashley and Laura have matching compass tattoos, along with two more of their friends—they each have a direction.
  • High-school superlatives. Pike: “Best legs.” Percy would have a series along the lines of “President of chess club, president of yearbook club. Most likely to help make the yearbook.” 
What To do if you wake up with Scratches and Bruises.

Hello! So I’m really interested in the Paranormal, and I realized that some people don’t know what to do if a demon is near them. Although many witches do, here’s a post about it anyways;

First, Ask yourself these Questions:

1.Have you done anything Different?

-For example, have you moved to a new place? Did a spell go haywire? Did you buy something that feels negative? Did a Ouija board session go wrong (Even though I don’t believe that the boards open portals or are evil, I still believe that you can get demons, or if you don’t use it right something bad can happen.)? Did someone evil you knew in real life die ? Did you make enemies with a witch that does curses ? These can all lead up to a possible demon/negative entity.

2.When do  these occurrences happen?

-If you know the old folklore belief, then you know that 3 a.m. to 4 a.m. is called “The Witching Hour”. It goes that “ witches, demons, and ghosts are thought to appear and to be at their most powerful. “ Do you often wake up at this time? Although it could just be a coincidence, it never hurts to have some old wives tales.

And if this is all happening during night, just be aware that sometimes we can give ourselves bruises in our sleep, if our body is restless or you’re prone to kicking, thrashing or falling off the bed. Animals and pets can also play a role in bruises, bumps and scratches.

3.Have you been getting Sleep Paralysis?

-Demons are often associated with sleep paralysis. Though, if you’re prone to it and get it often, even before you’ve started getting bruises/scratches, it might not mean anything.

4.What do the Bruises and Scratches look like?

-Demons are often associated with the number “3″, and sometimes “6″. Most people who deal with demons often get scratched with three claw marks. Demons and negative spirits are strong, and can and will do some serious damage. How big are the bruises? How many are there?

5.Do you smell Horrid Scents?

-Demons and negative spirits can give off bad scents, such as sulfur, rotten eggs or rotten/burned flesh. Although, they seem that they can give off bad scents as well. For example, in my Freshman year of public high school, I had smelled a horrible poop smell, after angering a witch I used to be friends with. She had always told me that she and her friend would send ghosts to each other. But, anyways.

6.Do you feel a Presence?

-Ghosts and demons will often make you feel a presence. It’s a little different for everyone, but it is normally a feeling of dread and fear.

7.Do you see Shadows or hear Sounds?

-If a demon or spirit is strong enough, it can manifest and show itself to you, or can talk or, if very strong, can move objects around.

What to Do if you answered ‘Yes’ to some of these Questions:

1.Cleanse, cleanse and cleanse some more

-Cleanse this thing. Cleanse yourself, cleanse everyone that lives in the home, cleanse the home itself, and cleanse the whole property, if you can.

2.Banish

-Banish the thing. Make sure to protect yourself and others, so to make sure it doesn’t possess anyone.

3.Set up wards, immediately after banishing.

-There’s many different kinds and types of wards, but make sure they’re charged and will work, once you set them in place. Wards will help keep the thing out.

4.Cleanse again.

-I personally like to cleanse a couple of times every time something like this would happen, To cleanse again right after is optional, though.

5.Line the windows and doors with Salt, Holy water or Rose water.

-Although I don’t know much about holy water and rose water, salt is a good form of protection. Simply line the doors and windows with salt. Or for extra protection, mix salt and garlic together and leave under the moonlight, then put on doors and windowsills (this was my very first thing I did as a witch)

6.Fill the space with Good Energy.

-Live plants, flowers, Himalayan salt lamps, or even herbal pouches and poppets made to bring good energy can work.

7.Continue to be Careful.

-These beings are far different from us. Be careful.

Note; Scratches, bruises and panic attacks can also be traced to health problems. Go to your doctor as well to make sure you’re in good health. Also, if you make yourself paranoid enough, you will put yourself on edge, which can make you see/hear things.

anonymous asked:

hi viria i have a problem im dealing with right now ;; in my fandom genderswaps/bends are growing ever more popular and more and more big art/fic creators are accepting and supporting them. as someone trans i've been trying to educate people on how harmful it is, but as more & more 'big' or 'popular' accounts publicly enjoy them, its harder & harder to have an audience that will listen. i used to enjoy genderswaps myself but now ive come to see how truly harmful they are. i want to keep (1/6)

trying to educate ppl but soon it will be near impossible to convey my message as almost a whole of my fandom will just come to accept them and love them so much they wont listen ;; do you have any words to say from your perspective as an artist or from any other standpoint? even just a small word would mean so much, this trend is growing more and more rapidly and stronger every time a fic or piece of art supporting it is produced ;; (2/6) 

i come to you asking such a thing because there are fewer and fewer people that share the same belief as me that it is bad. the argument defending it seems very convincing to many. some trans/qenderqueer/nonbinary people find it enjoyable and comforting but those that are on the opposite spectrum - ppl like me who feel dysphoric and invalidated by it - are in the end told to deal with it and let ppl write/draw what they want and just avoid it since its a comfort to some. another argument (3/6)

is of artistic liscense: you should be able to make whatever you want and this is strengthened by the fact doing so comforts some trans/gq people. but i feel forgotten. do the people that are hurt by it not matter? i feel ashamed now when i try to put out my msg. but i just want to feel a little more normal within my fandomspace. i want to feel like i exist. yet hardly anyone will listen. it’s not longer something i and my friends can avoid and never really was, because it is harmful and (4/6) 

we have a right to speak out against harmful things, yes? i am finding it harder and harder to believe it. i really just yearn to feel normal as the people that are consoled by genderswapping feel normal. i feel i should mention i do remember when you made genderswap art and were educated and apologized, i have gone through the same process myself. i hope i am not bringing up bad memories and apologize if i happen to ;; please, if you could give just a few words yourself it (5/6)   

—————————————————————————————

Hello! I’m sorry, I think my askbox managed to eat the last part of your message, so it’s not entirely full! But I feel like I get enough information from these parts nonetheless. 

First of all, please, please, try to not let any strangers on the internet make you feel abnormal. I feel like it must be very hard to be put in such a space, but as much as you can, please focus on the people who DO share your opinion on this. As much as it might not look like it, I am sure many people (even out of those who still do genderswaps) mean no harm, don’t yet know how hurtful it is for some other people and WILL listen to you!

I remember when people educated me over this, there were so many who thought that…how to put it. That I think very very bad of transgender people, while I, at that point, didn’t really know much about this issue. When it doesn’t happen to you, it’s not always the thing that crosses your mind. I feel like people who explain why and how this is wrong to artists, especially with their point of view, do help to fuel a thought in someone’s mind, offer them to think about it if they didn’t have the option before.

I try to be hopeful for people, I want to think that even if genderswaps are popular, there are still many empathic people who will listen to you, and who will understand how you feel.

For many it comes to a choice: whether they enjoy genderswaps enough to still draw it when they know how much it upsets some people. It was very fun to draw, but I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s distress by doing it. So… I want to think many people might share my choice. 

I’d say…if you choose to explain your point of view to people who still do genderswaps, try to not make bashing someone the first thing you write them. It might cause anger and defense, and it might not lead anywhere. Back then I was “educated” in a way that made me cry my eyes out, but it’s not something everyone will be willing to go through. For me, it wasn’t people who yelled at me what a piece of crap I was, but people who really explained what they felt that made me think on this topic more. Keep in mind that there still might be people who don’t yet know your point of view. What they see - is the pictures on the internet, people do them, so they assume it’s okay. You don’t usually think “Hm, what can possibly be wrong with this picture?” about drawings you see on the internet. 

As for your safe place, I think you have already done that, block all the genderswap tags to try to avoid on your dashboard. Even if there are people who stop doing them, there will most likely still be people who just started, simply because there are so so many. You don’t want to stress out because of something the stranger did from the other side of the globe.

I’m sorry if this is zero help, I know there is no way to change everyone’s opinion or to inform everyone, but please, don’t lose yourself with this. You are you and you are important, what you feel is absolutely legit and valid, remember it!

Originally posted by idolos-frases

FACTS ABOUT CONNOR MURPHY (spoilers)

So I have decided to post all the facts and hints about Connor Murphy’s past that are shown in the musical. It’s hard to make out considering people in the fandom usually focus on the lies Evan tells to figure out Connor’s personality.

To get this conclusion (which I will post in a second) I literally skipped all scenes concerning Evan’s lies and went directly to the Murphy family and what they say. None of these facts/hints involve what Evan said about Connor.

First of all, I’ll say now that I have put my own interpretation on each of these facts.

And so, I will put all FACTS in BOLD.
Anything out of bold is my own interpretation and how I see it to be. It’s up to you to agree with me or disagree.

First, I will post my conclusions on each family member, and then afterwards, I will post the reasons for each one.

Zoe

Zoe was an emotional and verbal abuse victim. There is no evidence of physical abuse, although there were threats that could have potentially led to that. She has all the right to not grieve over Connor, in all honesty, she could have sent him to the police for what he did, but as an abuse victim, that is very hard to do. Connor was probably the cause of most of her insecurities and she hated him for that. The unhealthy habit of taking out his anger on the nearest person to him probably made him lash out at his sister whenever he had a panic attack. Judging by how he really did care enough to keep the creepy letter about his sister, written by Evan, in his pocket for 3 days before he committed suicide, it’s safe to say that he really regretted being mean to his sister and actually cared about her.

Connor’s mom, Cynthia

Connor’s mom was a woman obsessed with reputation. She’s known as the rich man’s wife, and wants more than anything to be a regular family. But because her son had mental illnesses, her perfect image was ruined. She acted as though she was there for him but when it came down to it, she did nothing. She pushed for therapy but after a while, her husband took him out of it because “it wasn’t worth the money,” and she basically went, “welp, I tried.” I will quote what I say later: Connor’s mom might not actually be sad that her son is gone, but rather, she’s ashamed that her family actually doesn’t care. It seems like Connor’s mom is filled with regret for not being there for her son, and she’s forcing her family to act like they regretted it too, because that’s what a real family should have been like. But this is only a personal theory.

Connor’s dad, Larry

Connor’s dad might be one of the main sources of his depression. It is very obvious to me that Connor’s dad believed him to be a disappointment. He didn’t grieve for his dead son and only played along to make his wife happy. He’s annoyed by the whole situation. It even seemed like he hated the fact that there was fake remnants of his son in Evan. Almost like he wished Connor wasn’t friends with Evan so he could just forget all about him and not need to deal with it. At some point he was a kind father. When they went to the orchard together for picnics, it seems like they were a happy family. Connor’s dad had played with their toy plane together and had some great memories. The whole family practically forgot about this, though. Connor’s dad didn’t cry at his own dead son’s funeral. I think that sums it up.

Connor Murphy

Connor was a complicated person. He had many different mental illnesses. I could research which ones he probably had, but there’s probably already a post somewhere on it already. One thing for sure, is that he was unstable. He might not have been like that his whole life, but at the time of knowing him, the time he was briefly alive in the show, he was incredibly unstable. Everything and anything could set him off, and he probably hated that about himself as well. Pushing away everyone near him that could possibly help and hating himself for doing so, spiraling himself into a closed minded world of self-hate and regret, which is something that many people can relate to, including me. He did a lot of horrible things to his sister and to his family. I don’t blame his family for not actually grieving him, he was a really bad person. The problem is, he could have been a good person as well. He had all the potential to get better. He talked to Evan, probably wishing to say sorry about pushing him earlier in the hall. He was trying, he wanted to try. He wanted to get better. He just gave up too soon.

This post is very long! I’m sorry. If you’d like to read more, I’m putting the reasons I’ve come to these conclusions under the cut.

Remember, ALL FACTS ARE IN BOLD. Anything else is my personal interpretation.

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anonymous asked:

What would the guys do if they hear their crush say "me? who would like someone like me?" because they can't believe anyone would like them

Aw nonnie this is a sad/cute one. I hope this is alright! 

Noctis:

 - Noctis would be able to tell you were feeling a little glum, and when you had a few precious moments alone, he’d ask you what was wrong.
- You would try and brush it off at first, it’s not like you want to burden him with something like that…
- But this would just make the prince feel a bit useless, he’d really want you to confide in him. 
- You’d take a big sigh, and finally tell him. You feel lonely. You feel like a bit of a spare part. Everyone was settling down, even Noctis had his marriage to Luna. But you were just left on your own, as always.
- “Hey, don’t be so stupid.” 
- Stupid? This would anger you, you just confided in him like he asked and he calls you stupid?
- Noct would see how irate you were getting, and instantly feel bad.
- “Wait, that’s not what I meant!” And it honestly wasn’t. When will this boy learn to deal with his feelings and say the right thing?
- “Sorry that I’m bothering you with my stupidity Noctis.”
- “Look, that isn’t what I meant by it!”
- He panics that he’s really screwed this up.
- “Sure! I’m just whittling away for nothing!”
- “Well, yeah because-”
- “I should just get used to it.”
- “What?”
- “I mean, who would ever like me?”
- “I would!”
- There would be silence as you digest what Noctis had just said. 
- “You…? But what about Luna?”
- Okay, now his heart is racing.
- “We are friends, good friends, but this arranged marriage… It isn’t for me. Look, I’ve been trying to tell you… I, well, like you.” 
- His eyes sink to the floor and he plays with his arm band nervously. Now it’s calmed down he is self-conscious and can’t believe he just blurted that out…
- You’re stunned. Noctis… liked you? 
- He finally looks at you, unnerved by your silence
- Damn, have I really over stepped the mark this time?
- “Noct… you like me?”
- You can see little splashes of red colour his cheeks as he answers.
- “Y-yeah I do… is that okay?”

 Prompto:

- Prompto would be heading towards the tent one night, after you had disappeared for a while. He was starting to get worried as to where you were!
- As he gets closer to the tent, he can hear your voice… He doesn’t want to intrude if you were on the phone. Though, it didn’t seem like you were…
- He listens for a bit. He knows he shouldn’t, but he just can’t help it. There was just something in the tone of your voice that made him stay, a little twinge of something like… sadness?
- “I’m not like Cindy, or Aranea, I’m just…not.”
- They are definitely talking to themselves. He realised.
- And then you said it. 
- “But really… me? Who could ever like someone like me?”
- It’s almost like you could hear Prompto’s heart crack.
- No. No no no no.
- He recognises the pain in your voice, he understands the self-doubt, he knows it all too well.
- Before he could stop himself or even think about what he was doing, he’d push open the tent flap and take you in his arms.
- There are tears pooling in his own eyes.
- “You should never, never have to feel that way. Not you. Not someone like you.”
- It’s hard to hear him as his voice is muffled, his face buried in your neck. His grip is tight, and he can’t even think about how forward this might be because he just has to make sure you know you’re loved.
- “I like you, I like you, I like you.” He can’t say it enough.
- His words warm your heart.
- You both sit like that for a while, just holding each other until the tears stop. 
- He pulls away, and gently whispers; “It’s you. It has been for a while now. I really like you.”
- You can hardly believe your ears. 
- Still holding you, he looks you in your eyes still wet with tears, now smiling a little sheepishly.
- “So… what do you say?”

Gladiolus:

- Prompto would be chatting away about Cindy, as usual, and you would roll your eyes.
- “Tch, she’s pretty lucky.” 
- Gladio would hear your mumbling, and fall behind the other three to walk with you instead. 
- “Hey, what’s that?” He’d ask, friendly as always.
- “Well, it’s lucky Cindy has someone to feel that way about her.”
- Gladio would raise his eyebrows in surprise and a little in doubt as well.
- “I’m not so sure she sees it that way.”
- “I guess, but at least she knows she’s wanted.”
- By now the other three guys are just a blip in the distance, walking back to the regalia.
- “What do you mean by that?”
- “Well, just that I’d love to be in her shoes. It’s not like anyone will ever feel that way about me.”
- Did they really just say that?
- Suddenly his strong arm juts out in front of you, preventing you from walking any further.
- You look at Gladio in shock, to see that his jaw looks clenched and he looks kind of… angry.
- “Gladio…?”
- “Is that what you truly think?”
- You nod, unable to do more and he finally looks at you.
- “Then, you don’t realise how crazy I am about you.”
- Your heart skips a beat at his words.
- “H-huh?”
- He retracts his arm now, standing up to face you.
- “Why else do you think I always let you fall asleep on me in the car? Because I love the way you feel in my arms. Or when I always ask you for help setting up camp, it’s because I really enjoy your company.”
- He would stand in front of you now, the familiar smile you know and love back.
- “Honestly, these past few weeks you’ve been driving me crazy, and then you say no one would feel like that about you?”
- He shook his head, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes.
- “Well, I’m telling you now, I do. You don’t have to like it, I’ll understand if you don’t and I’ll speak no more of it. I promise.”
- He tilts his head, fully smiling now at your astounded expression.
- “Well… are you alright with that?”

 Ignis:

- Ignis had noticed you’ve been seeming down lately, choosing to sit in the tent early or sitting in the back of the car in your own world.
- It really starts to concern him, he can’t fathom why you’re feeling this way.
- One night he brings you your food to the tent, seeing if you’re okay.
- You thank him a little despondently, so he sits down next to you and asks if you want to share what has been bothering you.
- Looking into those kind green eyes it’s hard not to start talking about what’s wrong. You knew Iggy was a great listener. 
- So you opened up a little to him.
- “I’ve been watching the others get closer to people lately, Prompto with Cindy, Noctis with Luna for example…”
- “What about it is bothering you?”
- “I don’t know. I guess it just sucks being on your own.”
- “Come now, you’ll meet someone who is just right for yourself.”
- He knows it’s true, even if it’s not with him. Though that thought hurts him more than he’d care to admit.
- You throw Iggy an incredulous look.
- “What? It’s true. You’ll find someone you really like.”
- Oh if only he knew.
- “That’s not the problem. The problem is them liking me. I mean, who the hell would fall for someone like me?”
- Suddenly Iggy’s eyes tighten, and he re-adjusts his glasses.
- He seems… annoyed?
- “Please, do not put yourself down like that. You’re a wonderful person.”
- Huuuuge eyeroll from you.
- “Uh huh, sure.”
- Here comes the generic ‘you’ll get there eventually’ chat.
- “I mean it.”
- “Really?”
- He’s persistent.
- “Yes, you’re funny, gorgeous, intelligent… anyone would be lucky to call you their partner.”
- Well… that you weren’t expecting.
- The fidgeting with his glasses is progressively getting worse, which is unlike Iggy.
- “Why are you saying all of this…?”
- “Because I…” He has to take a deep breath here!
- “I see you that way. And would definitely feel lucky to call you mine.”
- Your heart stops, you can’t believe what you just heard. And he’s looking up at you through those lovely long lashes, and you know he’s being serious.
- Oh my.
- “Iggy…?”
- “I’m sorry if this seems sudden, but please… I have to know how you feel about me.” His green eyes are gazing at yours.
- Oh my.

Yours, Castiel

Anon Request: Could you do a Reader x Cas where Cas makes creative use of one of his feathers?

Word Count: a little over 2k

Warnings: this is some CHEESY SHIT, FAM. also there’s some language. but basically just a fluff overload.

Originally posted by yaelstiel

You slowly walked into the map room and rubbed your eyes, still weary from sleep. You were surprised when you opened them and saw Castiel sitting at the table, furiously writing something with…a feather?

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Business and Pleasure - Part 16

Summary:  Bucky AU. After a major deal falls through, your father’s business almost falls apart. In a desperate attempt to save his livelihood, he seeks the help of his oldest friend, George Barnes, who happens to be the CEO of one of the most influential businesses in New York. He agrees, but on one condition. You have to marry his son.

Word Count: 1,415

Warnings: Swearing, angst


Originally posted by campercooperpugfi


Once you had retreated to the bathroom, Steve heaved a large sigh, sinking into the cushions of the leather couch, covering his face with his hand and squeezing his eyes shut tight. How the hell did this happen? He had thought things were going well. He thought you and Bucky were finally on the same page. At least that’s how it seemed. You seemed so happy in the previous weeks, and now, it was like you were right back at the beginning.

Steve knew that he said he would call Bucky, but he didn’t know if he would even be able to contain his anger. There was a huge part of him that wanted to fly to wherever Bucky was and beat the living shit out of him. Steve didn’t like bullies, even if they happened to also be his friends. He wouldn’t tolerate this. He wouldn’t let Bucky just abandon you. He couldn’t. And if he couldn’t knock some sense into Bucky, well, then he would figure out where to go from there.

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Burying The Child - Feyre Fanfic

A Feyre character exploration fanfiction. Set post ACOMAF in the spring court, with Lucien for company. Warnings for discussion of mental health and grieving.

Burying The Child - Gen/K

History was once again repeating itself, but this time I was different; I would not make the same mistakes as I had before. I doubted I could even if I wanted to. Fate and its sick sense of humour had warped me too much for that.

“I remember when Tamlin first bought you those paints,” Lucien mused. “You sat in here all day for weeks, like a child with a new toy. It was very endearing, really.”

He sat across from me, lounging upon a daybed below a window in the gallery. His body lay splashed with sunlight, turning his hair a gorgeous shade of amber and his bronze skin, exposed by the open-necked shirt he wore, shone like clear liquid honey. One could mistake him for a god were it not for the signs of strain that recent events had carved into him, from his hollow cheeks to his nervous, restless fingers; The latter of which was really quite irksome.

“Stop fidgeting,” I quipped, frowning and biting down on the tip of my tongue. “I’ll never be able to get you right if you keep moving. Honestly, and you compare me to a child.”

“I do have a few years on you, fair lady.”

“That only makes it worse.”

Lucien managed to still himself for a rather pathetic minute before his forefinger resumed their tapping upon his thigh, but I made no comment. The back and forth bitching we’d developed when I’d first arrived at the Spring Court had now evolved beyond the antipathy and mourning we’d shared. He no longer held the death of Andras against me, and I in turn agreed not to speak of what had passed here whilst I was at the Night Court. This silent agreement meant we were both more comfortable in sharing quiet moments together, knowing neither would verbally assault the other. In a case of mutually assured destruction, we both knew the wounds such talk would inflict could scar us both.

“I can’t believe it’s only been a year since we first met,” Lucien said, his gaze fixed out the window at the surrounding gardens. “Only a year since we were all prisoners. Or, a year since we were able to admit to it aloud.”

He was breaching dangerous territory, but I’d long stopped being scared by it. It had only been two months since my return to Spring, and yet it was already apparent to me that no one save Tamlin and Ianthe thought the deal with Hybern was wise. Since the High Lord and his Priestess were out on a ride that day, I saw no harm in letting Lucien say whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Missing Amarantha, are we?”

“Oh, dreadfully,” Lucien said, playing along with a theatrical swoon. He laughed when I scolded him for shifting his position. Though I had come to see Lucien as an ally, I could never come to like his laugh. It always spoke of so much pain. “What can I say? She kept Tamlin occupied. He does so love to have an enemy.”

Finished sketching, I took up mixing up the colours I needed on the paint palette. “He’s a fool for choosing Rhysand as his new target,” I said quietly, struggling to get the right skin tone. There would be time to learn proper painting technique, if only I could survive the war. The past year had been spent fashioning me into a weapon, no time for games. Who I was had been carved into steel and fire and power, so that I was more a what than a whom to the world now. Beyond what I had briefly shared with Rhys, I had not known softness in a long time.

“If what you say about the Night Court is true, I don’t doubt it.” Lucien looked over at me, his metal eye as unnerving as ever. Still I had not dared to ask just what it allowed him to see, but I felt as if it could somehow discern the contents of my soul.

He chewed the inside of his cheek whilst I distracted myself with mixing paint, before he finally spoke, “You’ve changed so much, Feyre.” He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. “I must admit, I’m impressed by who you have become. Even if Rhysand did not exist, I’d hate to make a foe of you. So forgive me when I say I am also in mourning.”

Cocking my head, I finally had the courage to look back at him. Did he speak of Elain now? “Mourning whom?” I asked. The smile he gave me hurt as much as the two months apart from Rhysand had. It spoke of pity, pity I could not bear.

“I am in mourning for a close friend. A friend I made under Amarantha’s rule. A human girl, who came here with childish anger, who could be made happy and placid by nothing more than paint. A girl who screamed and cried and didn’t know any better than to wander out at night on Calanmai, and who could fall in love even with a Beast.” He did not drop my gaze. “I grieve for you too, for losing her. I’m sorry you can’t be her any more.”

He’d spoken so softly, so quietly, that we both flinched when I snapped my paintbrush in half. Claws edged out of my knuckles, my grip too tight. I was still learning the depths of my new strength, though I didn’t care as anger flashed upon my tongue. “Don’t be,” I hissed, snatching a fresh brush and ramming it in the prepared paint to coat it. “She was a stupid, foolish little victim who knew no better.”

“That, fair Feyre,” Lucien said, back to looking out at the gardens, “is exactly why I mourn for you.”

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“I’ve learned things about you, things that you wanted to keep secret. You had Nighteye as a sidekick who knows about One for All and who believes Togata senpai would be a better candidate for your succession. A successor I didn’t know about. And you didn’t tell me.

And while you’re keeping all these secrets, I’m left to be denied the truth about everything that involves me! I have no idea of your intentions and that’s just leaving me all confused and you’re just…running away from your problems!!

I finally know the truth! I know who you are! You’re a liar!!

I thought you wanted to help me become a hero, wanted me to be your successor because you believed in me! How could you not tell me all of this?! I don’t know what to do without you guiding me! Maybe it doesn’t matter to you to think I needed to know as much as hiding from the past mistakes you made! And that’s why I’m here isn’t it?! Did you give me One for All just so you don’t have to deal with your past mistakes?!

…Is that all I’m here for?”

So an idea struck me after re-reading chapter 130 to crossover the moment that broke my heart from SU with the Father/Son relationship from BNHA that has my heart.

Now I’m not saying this will happen, but I think it could after how Izuku was at the end of the newest chapter and I don’t know whether or not I want him to snap and yell at All Might outta frustration and anger in the next chapter, but I mean I kinda sorta wanna feel the feels if it does happen ya know. 

anonymous asked:

But what about Derek who is afraid of fireworks and so he wears those noise canceling headphones that you see kids wear when they watch fireworks and derek is embarrassed about them and he says he'll just stay home and that fireworks arent that cool anyway, he has things he needs to do (pt1)

but Stiles can tell something is up so he sticks around until everyone has left to go watch them and he asks Derek and after a few minutes of trying to lie about it Derek’s shoulders slump and he shows them to Stiles and his cheeks are pink with embarrassment as he explains that they don’t cancel the noise but it helps to mute it and it works well enough for him to be able to enjoy watching the fireworks.

Stiles makes a noise of understanding and walks over to Derek to take the headphones out of his hand and he gently fits them over Derek’s ears. Stiles then goes on to explain that Derek has nothing to be embarrassed about, that he grew up watching the fireworks with his dad and the people from the station and he knew plenty of hard ass cops who after retiring would wear them and if anyone tries to tease Derek he’ll beat them up. Then there’s forehead kisses and a beautiful night of fireworks.

You know what I love about this (except everything)??? Is that sometime between meeting and this beautiful firework headcanon, Derek got comfortable enough around Stiles to the point where instead of barking at him to get out or showing him the headphones and growling, daring Stiles to say anything, he is shy. Like, I want to think about this. I want to think about Derek Hale and how he puts up a hundred walls, each wall usually made of something unpleasant and standoffish because it’s the only way he knows how to build walls after Kate. 

I want to think about how relieved Derek is, how secretly happy, when Stiles never takes any of his shit and how, when Derek threatens to bite, Stiles is the only one who laughs and bares his neck with a “come on then, sourwolf”, daring him. I want to think about how if anyone else had thought to stick around, Derek is positive he would have managed to scare them - or at the very least anger them - into going away. Not Stiles though, never Stiles. Even when Derek does manage to piss Stiles off enough to get him to leave, he always comes back. And it gets to the point where Derek starts getting hopeful, starts getting lazy in his plan to never let anyone touch his heart again (barring Cora, of course) and so, when Stiles confronts him about the headphones and he finds himself blushing instead of yelling it’s a big deal. 

Derek was always the cool kid when he was younger and when he got embarrassed it was usually only because Laura was teasing him about his stash of history magazines that he always hid under his bed whenever he invited Paige over, or the way he’d sing songs from Aladdin in the shower. There were always things he was insecure about - Kate, most of all, played on them - but even during his first kiss, Derek was confident and cocky. He liked confident and cocky, he still did. 

But when he first met Stiles, something faltered. At first, he didn’t notice it, too busy hating Stiles, but as he got to know him and after everything they went through together, Derek started to notice. Notice the way his palms sweated when Stiles smiled at him from across a room, or the nervous tick of his heart when Stiles casually talked about sex and the way he gently held both Allison and Erica’s hair the first time they had a pack night out and no one expected the punch Lydia’s wolfsbane vodka was going to pack.  

After five years, Derek does feel himself softening around the pack but not in the same way he does with Stiles. All Stiles has to do is wink at him these days and instead of scowling, Derek feels a horrible, familiar jolt. The jolt he used to get watching Paige play in band, the same jolt he used to get whenever Kate would text. It makes him excited and uneasy at the same time and even though he knows Stiles is not Kate, he could still be Paige. He could still die. 

And yet, he can’t help being drawn in because he’s not fifteen anymore and neither is Stiles. Stiles is strong - stronger than anyone gives him credit for - and when danger threatens to kick Derek’s ass, he is always there with his bat and two arms ready to drag him across whatever floor Derek always manages to find himself on after every attack. Just for once, can you NOT do the martyr thing, dude? Lucky for you I had a plan G, huh? Bet you’re not laughing at it now.

And it’s this - this transition from I’m going to rip your throat out to shyly showing Stiles his headphones, headphones he’s actually embarrassed about where he never would have been as a kid - that gets me the most. That when Stiles (half-jokingly) tells Derek he’ll beat up anyone who teases him, Derek doesn’t roll his eyes but instead tentatively offers Stiles his hand and smiles, ducking his head, feeling safe and loved in a way he hasn’t since Laura died.

work for it | reggie mantle (riverdale)

Originally posted by riverdalesource

a/n: if you want to be added to my tag list leave a comment below or drop it into my ask box and ill add you!! i have three different lists one for each of my short series and one for all my posts!! happy reading be sure to leave a request!🦋💙

request: can i ask for a reggie x reader where he tries to ask her out but plays hard to get? thanks! :)

it was just another pep rally for the river vixens but for cheryl blossom it meant that there was another opportunity to be in the spotlight, being the captain and all.

you smile over to your red headed best friend, she was nervous like always. her parents had attended every single bulldog/vixen event but after jason’s death they had stopped because the memories flooded back each time they sat in those bleachers.

tonight was different though, tonight both blossom parents were here to support the teenage girl, so we had practice every damn day for at least a few hours. 

we had to make this rally perfect so cheryl could show her parents what they’ve been missing.

“you know this routine inside and out cheryl, you could do it in your sleep” you reassure her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“thank you” she smiles softly at you “what are best friends for?” you giggle bumping her hip with your own as you apply your last coat of mascara to your eyelashes.

it was our fifth and final period and cheryl had ordered an emergency practice which resulted us being forced out to practice on the field with the jocks because the gym was being occupied by freshman gym class.

“5 minute break” cheryl yells allowing us to rest and hydrate.

you wonder over to the drinks table pouring yourself a cup a icy water from the cooler they leave there for the jocks.

“drinking our water i see?” you jump at the sudden voice almost covering yourself in water “god you scared me” you mumble wiping your mouth of the fallen liquid.

it was the one and only reggie mantle, it was common knowledge to all the kids at riverdale high that the raven haired jock had a thing for you. you flirted back and fourth tension building between the two of you.

he’d asked you out multiple times as well as half the other guys on the team but you refused to date anyone of them. the girls on your squad were puzzled at your decision to turn down only the best of riverdale high but you just shrugged it off.

you didn’t want to fall into the stereo type of an ‘easy’ cheerleader.

its not that you weren’t attracted to him because god, you were. he was tall, strong one of the best bodies in your year but he was more than that. you were the only one who’d seen past his bad boy jock facade.

he had everybody fooled, except you.

“can’t a hard working vixen get herself some cold water?”

he smirks “depends” he steps closer continuing to flirt

“will this working hard-gorgeous vixen want to go on a date with this beautiful specimen of a bulldog”

you roll your eyes placing the cup back down on the table

“you know what I’m actually not that thirsty” you turn and walk back toward your squad, swinging your hips as you know his eyes are watching your every agonising move.

“your going to have to try harder than that reg” you yell to the boy

he bites his clenched fist before jogging over to his jock friends.

you begin to stretch when cheryl approach you a smirk evident on her face. you grab her shoulder to stabilise yourself as you tuck one foot up.

“what are you doing?” she questions you, looking you up and down then behind you were you know reggie is staring based on the voice of coach clayton yelling at the poor boy.

“mantle! ball. over here” you giggle turning and giving the small boy a wave

“gosh (y/n) why don’t you just say yes!” the captain fumes at you.

“because its reggie cheryl” you muse taking a break from the stretching.

she huffs crossing her arms over her chest.

“oh c’mon you don’t seriously think i should go out with him? you hate reggie and me dating jocks remember what happened last time?”

she ignores you staring off behind you

“god what are you looking out” you turn spotting a familiar red head looking your way.

you smile and wave at your long time friend before turning and facing your best friend.”

“oh. my. god.” you squeal bouncing on your feet

“what now?” she snaps

you grin widely “you have a thing for andrews gah this is golden!!”

her eyes widen and she shakes her head “no i don’t!” she defends 

you laugh clapping your hands together

“it doesn’t matter his into you- they’re all freaking into you”

your features soften “cheryl archie is NOT into me” 

“I’m serious its completely platonic- wait what does this have to do with me and mantle?” you question dipping down to touch your toes.

“well if you start seeing the bimbo jock-” you interrupt her “don’t call him that”

she sighs “anyways if you start seeing each other than you my dear friend can put in a good word with efron- and then we can have double dates at pop’s!”

“god you didn’t just refer to archie as zac efron” you giggle

she narrows her eyes causing you to shoot your hands up “fine fine ill put in a good word to archiekins, i don’t need reggie for that”.

you bend down again touching your toes when you hear whistles and a huge thud.

you both turn quickly glancing as reggie is sprawled out onto the floor clutching his head as he rips off his helmet. before you know it your legs are carrying you over to the injured boy dropping to your knees as you approach him

“reg oh my god are you okay what happened?!” you bout running your hands over his face worry covering your expression like a blanket.

he winces trying to stand up only to stumble down, you stand quickly trying to bare all his weight. “arch” you mumble begging for the bulldog to help you out.

he swoops over holding the boy up, “what happened?!” you exclaim glancing at his team mates they all go quite holding in laughter “what?!” you ask confessed looking to your friend and the injured raven haired jock.

arch sighs laughing before answering “someone was having a good look at your ass and moose clocked him because someone didn’t have his head in the game”

you laugh covering your mouth as your cheeks heat up “hey i wasn’t-” he tries to defend himself leaning against his team mate.

“oh im sure you weren’t” you tease poking his chest

“practice is over mantle your on the beach tonight” he throws his hands in the air in frustration pulling away from the support of his red headed best friend

“c'mon coach-” coach clayton tucks his clipboard under his arm pointing a finger at the raven headed captain “i can’t afford you trying to show off to your girl- rest up”

your eyes fall to the ground blushing as Reggies attempts to cover up what his coach just said

a laugh spills from your mouth but your hands dart up to stop anymore from being realised. he glances at you with pleading eyes his rosy cheeks evident on his tan skin.

“(y/n)!” you turn to see your best friend yelling your name “i gotta get back to practice to you need help getting him to the bench?”

archie shakes his head adjusting his grip on the sulking boy “nah we’re good, go back to cheryl before she bursts a vessel”

you give the two boys a two finger salute before winking and rushing back over to your hot headed cheer captain

“jeez cap don’t get your knickers in a knot” you complain throwing your hair up into a pony tail.

she huffs turning and clapping to get the vixens attention “lets go bitches formation!” she yells

you roll your eyes getting into position catching the boys staring as we start our routine. “be right back” you mumble to the red head before jogging over to the pair on the first row of the bleachers

“yes” you smile catching reggies attention, the ice pack of his head slipping as he moves his hand away. they share a confused glance before looking back at the dumb smile on your face.

“wait what?” the raven haired boy chuckles nervously “ill come with you- on a date. pop’s. tonight” you speak with confidence twirling your hair.

a smile grows on his lips “really?” you dip down to reach his eye level “as long as ginger god comes too, for my ginger goddess” you point to the anger cheerleader standing with her vixens

“deal?” you question smile lazily placing your hand on his thigh

he looks to archie and he shrugs “im in” you give your friend a fist pump before looking back to the shy boy “deal” he finally speaks smiling up at me.

“what made you change your mind?” he asks nervously

you bite your lip backing away “i told you mantle, you had to work for it”

his smugness overwhelms his features archie elbow him in giddiness as he watches his friend flirt with the girl of his jock dreams

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“Seventeen Days” (Part 4)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Fantasy/College AU)

Summary: An angel from heaven is sent back to Earth to prevent college senior Bucky Barnes from ending his life. But here’s the catch - she only has seventeen days to do it.

next: Part 5
Seventeen Days (Masterlist)

“Siri, why does Bucky Barnes hate me?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t find ‘why does Borky Burnes hate me?’ Would you like for me to -”

“Ugh, of course you don’t know! Useless!” you groan, haphazardly tossing your phone onto the couch behind. You slump over the coffee table littered with textbooks.

“It’s only Day 2, and you’ve resorted to asking a computer program for help. Good start, (Y/N).”

You bolt upright, heartbeat tapping a rapid staccato pattern as you meet the blue eyes of a certain grim reaper. Standing at the entrance of the safehouse is Steve, and he looks annoyingly delighted at your plight.

The blonde strolls over to the coffee table and grabs a few of the papers scattered on the coffee table, his brow furrowing as he takes in the graphs and numbers. “Why are you memorizing Calculus when you should be seducing Bucky Barnes?”

“It’s not a seduction!” you counter with a huff. “I may have hinted that I’m an expert at Calc with hopes of impressing him.”

“I’m assuming it didn’t work.”

“He hates me, Steve. The heavens have literally trusted me with the celestial mission of keeping him alive, yet he hates me! How am I supposed to convince him to not make the biggest mistake of his life when he hates me?!”

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