i m unable to even

i think the most messed up part about it all is how you still linger even though you left. i’m beginning to find myself unable to even talk to new people without stopping and remembering that they’re not you. like the laughter dies and bubbles deep in my stomach, my tongue curls back and i retreat, closed mouth, eyes lowered. and i know that confuses people when i suddenly become distant, but, yeah, i still can’t enjoy myself or others anymore and dive into new friendships because i know i will never reach that same level of intimacy that i did with you. and that’s partly because there’s no one in the world that’s going to take your place, and that’s partly because you took advantage of my trust and generosity and now i can’t ever pour my entirety into any relationship anymore for fear it’ll be too much for them like it was too much for you. too much and too ugly. you said it would be better if you would leave, so why are you still here in everything i do?
—  god, you said this would be the last time i’d hear from you, but i should have known that you wouldn’t suddenly stop lying now

anonymous asked:

I've been really interested in started to bullet journal, but.. I don't really do anything. I'm unable to work at the moment, and my doctor doesn't even want me to try applying to places and to try to get disability instead. On top of it, depression has had me seldom leave bed, especially the past month. Do you think there's any point to me trying?

Oh, dear, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. I definitely think you should start a bullet journal though, and it’s due to the fact that you’re interested in it. When I was at my lowest point due to depression, there wasn’t much I was interested in – my old hobbies just lost all meaning and I didn’t have the energy or even an interest to start anything new. Then I came across this whole bullet journaling concept, and it sparked a tiny bit of curiosity in me, so I decided to try it and now here I am :) it has definitely become one of my favorite past times. So yes, if there’s something you’d like to do, there’s no reason not to do it (with something being a harmless and positive thing okay, not everything you want to do is necessarily good for you/other people, but we’re talking about bullet journaling so there’s probably no point in adding this comment, but you know, just in case… :D)

If you feel like you have nothing to put in your bullet journal, just forget all of the full spreads with ten tasks per day and make it so that it works for you. Add tasks like “get up from bed”, “take medication” and “work on bullet journal”. You can also track your doctor visits. As a person with depression, I know how much energy even getting up from bed can take. It can be equal to a healthy person studying all day. Make the tasks so that they help you cope with your depression/illness, and don’t be afraid that a task might be perceived as a “lesser one”. You’re making your bullet journal for yourself and you decide which task should be put in. I sometimes still put “shower” as a task on days when I’m lacking all of the energy to do anything than just lay down and sleep/stare into the void. It sort of helps having it there because it forces you to do it just so that you can tick the little square off and it makes you feel accomplished because you actually did something.

If you plan a to-do list for a day and end up not doing anything, no worries, just try again the next day. You can journal in your bujo a bit, say how you felt that day, and say that despite everything, you’re still proud of yourself for trying. And if you don’t feel like it, then write that I am proud of you for trying, because I am. Make your bullet journal a happy place to help you cope with everything.

I hope this helped at least a tiny bit. I’m thinking of you and hoping you’ll get better soon. I also hope you find joy in bullet journaling. Let me know if you actually decide to start a journal if you feel like it, I’d love to know! Lots of love x

HELL ??????

Hey what happened here !! I was at 600 followers not even 3 weeks ago !!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO !!!

I’m soooo happy rn you can’t even imagine >w<

BUT BUT BUT I CAN’T EVEN DO AN ART RAFFLE TO THANK YOU (lol I haven’t even finished the prizes for the previous one (and btw sorry @alphalilly for taking so much time but I was unable to draw for a week and I’m not even sure I’ll finish your prize before going on vacations T-T sorry but you may get it in august)

Anyway I don’t know how to thank you people, I can’t draw anything good enough because I have no time, but I’ll make sure I’ll have something just for you when I come back (so yeah in august sorry)

Oh oh and biiiig thanks to @eliana55226838 senpai, @doodledrawsthings senpai and @the-vampire-inside-me senpai who REBLOGED SOME OF MAH ART ??? LIKE THANKS A LOT ??? YOU ARE MY GREATEST SOURCES OF INSPIRATION FOR BATIM STUFF !!!

Anyway. Uh … I can’t even say more. Just, yeah, thanks to everyone. Thanks is the only thing I can’t say even if it’s not enough.

anonymous asked:

what was the moment that got you to ship naruhina?? i feel like I'm unable to answer this question as i shipped it before i even watched naruto because they just looked aesthetically good together but yeah ;w; ?

mhh I think that I officially started shipping them after her confession? But I knew they would have been canon since the chuunin exams :D

fmcmeapineapple  asked:

A lot of your posts are being marked as "sensitive media" and since I'm a minor I'm unable to view them, even though I'm pretty sure they're not :(

this has been happening for a while to a lot of blogs and theres nothing i can do about it. sorry! its an automated system thats messing up and i thought they fixed it by now but i guess not considering you just sent this. it can happen for a few reasons, like if an nsfw blog reblogs my post (totally out of my control), or if the automated system decides im using too many tags and thinks my post is spam (also totally out of my control, and i dont even use that many tags. i use like 10 or less on average?)

my blog is never nsfw and never will be. if anyone else out there is having issues with this still i recommend letting staff know cuz this should’ve been fixed by now


I’m back, but I need to explain what happened to me while I was off. First, I had the final exams at the uni, and then second, I suffered a concussion while playing rugby. It took me some time to recover as I was unable to text or even do simple things. I’m a bit shaken, but alive.

And a shoutout to my mates @afronick @kawaiidesu-cum @splat-you @yurisekkusu @keroseneheartskill

Hey, so this is just a post that’s telling you that I’ll be out traveling again. I’m only gone for a week, but since my queue might be going for a couple of days more, I’m getting the feeling you’ll barely notice it. Even though I’m unable to interact with your characters during the while, I’m always open for chatting and discussing plots. If you ever feel like there’s something you want to do with Hay Lin or Nerissa, just hit me up! With that being said, have a lovely summer. xx

anonymous asked:

(linguistic-galra) *Pats head and smiles* Are you lost?" There aren't many Galra -smaller- than Tagnuul on the ship. "Are you looking for someone?"

   Sendak cringes away, flinching back from the hand – even gentle as it is – patting his head.

    ❝  N-no,    the lie comes out clumsily and unconvincing, and the kit takes a few steps backward, averting a panicked and guilty gaze.    I-I-I just– I’m looking for…    Unable to come up with even a fake name, he trails off into silence and instead settles for turning tail and bolting.

asenseofadventure  asked:


Ahh this is awesome to wake up to!! 😆 I’m glad I wasn’t the only one kept up late by this one..

Luckily I’m still flowing pretty nicely so I’m hoping to get the next chapter out pretty quick for yall!

So a few days ago I sprained my wrist. I went out bowling with babe and I just had to win- which leads to the point that I don’t bowl. So instead of under throwing I would take that child bowling ball and flick my wrist up. It swelled after two games.

So I drew Hero Cry, He is one of my favorite Youtubers that I haven’t watched in years. He just seems like that kinda guy that you want to be friends with without personal info, stream face, or anything. 

So I effed up my hand doing this piece, I’m so proud of it and today I’m icing my hand unable to play any games or even use a mouse correctly. Worth.  I hope it gets the love it deserves

(I took the Hero academy training outfit and made it into a jacket)


keith-the-pardoner  asked:

3 & 6

3. Name one of the traits you hate most about yourself, why do you hate it? 

“…A knight shouldn’t be in this state.”

(Oh boy, a lot. His dangerous sense of fun, his inability to read, his sexuality especially. Just about anything pertaining to his “true” nature. It’s not proper for the role he is meant to play in life and he will lock it away with all the violence he needs to.

…He is conflicted about his current state as well. For now, gloom and doom is winning though.)

6. Have you ever felt so guilty you wanted to punish yourself? Why did you feel guilty?

“I should have been there… my dear sister could’ve been with us still, had I just been there…

What could I do except uncover who did it? But even that I’m unable to do now…”

(While not directly self punishment, he wrecked himself so hard with guilt when he first discovered his attraction to another guy, that he threw up. He pretended to have fallen ill for several days just to cover it up.

He also has a tendency to load himself with destructive amounts of work when there’s something about himself he doesn’t like popping up. Whenever there’s something he’s failed to do. Whenever there’s something he doesn’t live up to.

Just work it out. Work it out until you’re up to standard.)

tamaeggo  asked:

Being a mangaka/animator is actually quite terrible. Once i was reading a anga and at the end it had an author's note and it listed about how many sleepless nights it took due to deadlines. Animators get very little pay and have to o lots too. Not sure about novelists though, do you know about the work conditions of a novelist Mod M?

Mod M hasnt been a part of this blog since I was signed on as an additional mod,  as a result I am unable to answer that question (if mod M was even able to herself) I am able to confirm the crunch time involved for mangakas/animators as there was a time long ago I had seen pictures of the average schedule and it was insane. 

I can also confirm how abusive the games industry is over there as well if you recall Yoshi Ono’s heath declined during his work on Street Fighter