“Most of the time I’m running around in circles in my head struggling to find the words that will adequately describe a certain feeling. You know, like when you try to paint the picture for someone so they can recreate that emotion themselves. I’ve always had a hard time trying to put into words what it feels like when she meets my eyes. I guess it sounds kind of corny, but it feels like she actually sees into me. That she’s not just looking at me like you’d look at someone you’re trying to get by in the crowded aisle of the grocery store. I can see that she loves me when she looks at me, but that doesn’t describe the feeling. It’s a mixture of things. It feels like when you look up into the sky at night during a new moon and you can really see the stars, even the tiniest ones. You remember how vast everything is and how small you are, but in a good way, and it reminds you how insignificant little troubles in life really are. It’s that feeling of being completely present. Even the colors hold certain feelings. I’d tell her how pretty they are and she’d just brush it off and say they were plain hazel. They aren’t plain to me though. What I haven’t told her is that they remind me of one of my favorite memories of walking through this forest of pines. The ground was covered thick in the dead needles. They were soft and reddish brown and I lay down in them to rest for a while. It was early morning and the sun was hitting the branches in a way that when the wind blew them the green needles would turn gold and it looked like honey was pouring off of them. There was a different kind of comfort there. I felt safe all while being in awe of how beautiful it was. Maybe that’s why when she looks at me I feel the exact same way.”
I’ve done this many times now so sorry if you’re tired of my face. Anyways, I’m Lane, I’m 16 and I’d say kinda boring. I identify as nonbinary, so they/them are my pronouns. Please use them, some people contact me and then don’t acknowledge that. I also just identify as queer, I like who I like. A lot of the time I like to just go outside and usually practice some form of art. I love any and all art. I love painting, watercolor pieces, sketching, photography, doodling, and cosmetics. I can listen to any music and always love recommendations. I live in Illinois pretty close to Chicago. If you want to talk just let me know that you’re from tumblr, I know I’m bad at talking but I promise I get better when we get to know each other.
My country is celebrating 100 years of independence this year and we are also achieving marriage equality on the 1st of March. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our achievements as a nation than celebrating equality and human rights. Congratulations, Finland, may there be many more victories such as this and may your freedom last a thousand years!
(yes, the Finnish flag appears backwards because she’s waving it around)