i loved how dexter said that

YoungQ! Prompt: There are small moments where James, Moneypenny, Alex, M, and MI6 forgets how young Q is and they realize that’s a good and bad thing. – anon

Hope you like it, lovely. Jen.

“Never watched it.”

“What?” Eve turned round to him. “Andy Pandy. You never saw it?!”

“Nope,” Q replied, not looking up from his screen, pushing his glasses up his nose with a finger. “I was more of a Barney, Dexter’s Lab guy.”

“You do surprise me,” Eve smirked. “Never ending story? Princess Bride?”

“A little before my time,” Q said, flitting to another screen, brows contracted with worry. “Seriously Eve, I’m a little busy, if you could just…”

“You’ve never seen the Princess Bride?!”

Q rolled his eyes, taking Bond off the loudspeaker. “Oddly, double-oh seven, no. I haven’t. Nor did I watch the original Batman series. Now if you could please focus on the small matter of the two cars pursuing you…”

“But how could you not have…”

“Bond, now is not the time.”

Abruptly, Bond’s voice lost the mocking edge. “Q, can’t shake. Need to open fire.”

“Sanctioned.”

The moment Q uttered the word, Eve felt her breath catch. Bond didn’t; he was busy doing as required, the sharp shots half-audible even with the speaker turned off. Bodies falling, lifeless, while Bond did whatever he considered necessary.

“Q…”

“Moneypenny, bugger off, I’m busy.”

“You’re so young.”

Q whipped around, and shot her an absolutely lethal glare. “Is now the time?!”

“Q?”
“Still with you,” Q replied, eyes still on Moneypenny. “Are you clear?”

“Clear.”

Bond’s voice rang through Q, and he exhaled, eyes closing very briefly. “Excellent. Flight at 15:10, tickets will be waiting for you. Congratulations, double-oh seven.”

“Received. You really haven’t watched the Princess Bride?!”

“I’m going to kill you both.”

“But Q…”

Oh my good sweet lord.”

“You just ordered several people’s deaths,” Eve noted quietly. “Q, how old are you?”

“Absolutely none of your business,” Q replied curtly. “Old enough that Tanner looked vaguely pale and M didn’t believe I was competent for a good few months. I mean Mallory, not past-M; she believed in me from the outset, interestingly enough. In spite of my age.”

Eve continued to look quietly, awfully concerned. “Please, Q,” she tried. “I don’t mean to pry, but…”

“Since when are you the resident mother figure?!” Q managed, looking at her with palpable disbelief. “And stop giggling, double-oh seven, you’re annoying the life out of me. I’m old enough. I’ve been hired. Yes. Good. Everybody fucking happy yet?”

“Alec bet you’re in your teens.”

“Alec’s a moron.”

“Oi,” Eve interjected – she’d been dating Alec for over a year – and then gave up. “Yeah, okay. Bit of a moron. But he means well.”

Q raised an eyebrow. “Sometimes. But yes. I’m young.”

“You’re a baby.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

Bond’s grin was audible. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

Finally, Q’s grin was there, was everything, and Eve could see why Q and Bond worked well together. “Don’t tempt me, double-oh seven.”

He was young. So young. Too young.

He was also the best Quartermaster in MI6 history.

“I need a cleanup,” Q was saying, babbling into his headpiece with CCTV running over and over again, tracing streets in a country worlds away from MI6. “Double-oh seven has two dead, need them out of the way. You have thirty minutes and counting.”

He was brilliant.

“‘Bane and O’Callahan, you roguish devils, you. Nervous-looking chap I’ve never seen before, how are you doing? Frightening, don’t get up, my ego couldn’t take it. And Aurora. My one true soul mate. My darling. Remind me, have you and I ever fallen in love?’
Aurora sighed. ‘No, Saracen, we haven’t.’
‘Do you want to change that?’
‘What, now?’
‘It’s a long plane ride.’
‘You don’t even know where we’re going.’
‘That’s a good point,’ said Saracen. ‘Dexter, where are we going? What’s the plan? Why am I here?’”

- Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant: The Maleficent Seven

some of the things my dad said while we watched Daredevil
  • Reyes: *gets shot*
  • Dad: I think DA stands for dead asshole now
  • **
  • Army of ninjas attack the hospital
  • Dad: that’s a lot of ninjas for a tired old fighter guy
  • Me: he’s not that old
  • Dad: that’s a lot of ninjas for a beat up, bruised, tired, fighter guy. he better hope they’re a bunch of 12 year olds
  • **
  • Frank: *lectures Karen about how Matt loves her and what she should do about it*
  • Dad: he’s a murdering psycho/dexter/shrink
  • **
  • Claire quits her job
  • Dad: now she's going back to her shitty apartment in shitty hell’s kitchen in a shitty city. ain’t got no job. how’s she gonna feed her cat now?
  • Me: she doesn’t have a cat. she’s allergic. come on man!
  • Dad: I knew she didn’t have a cat. I was just saying that. because of the story
  • Me: uh huh
  • **
  • Matt can't hear the ninjas because they're hiding their heartbeats and moving silently
  • Dad: can’t hear em because they’re dead! secret ninjas
  • **
  • Matt beats a guy's head into the floor
  • Dad: yeah, that guy’s dead. he’s not just unconscious
  • Me: don’t tell him that, you’ll break his heart
  • **
  • Elektra: Because you love New York.
  • Matt: And I’d give my life for it. But there’s one thing in this world that makes me feel more alive. And that’s you.
  • Dad: WHAT ABOUT KAREN?