wear old-fashioned clothes in all black or all white, odd glasses are a bonus
have weird nicknames with your friends and only refer to each other by them
intellectualism™ is important. make sure everyone knows that you love homer more than them
moral ambiguity is slightly more important. wanna scam people with fake antiques? wanna murder a friend? wanna steal your stepmom’s dog and drugs and run away across america? wanna semi-accidentally steal a painting and worry about it for years? wanna get into an ecstatic state and murder some random farmer? no time like the present
speak a few languages, preferably dead ones or russian
embrace your angst. amplify your angst. worry
consume copious amounts of substances. smoke, develop a drug problem, get sick drinking as often as possible
forget having actual romantic relationships with people, instead opt for romanticizing someone and obsessing over them and then confessing your love unsuccessfully or being totally gay for your best friend and then denying it later when they try to bring it up
Openly admires Donna’s search for freedom and empowerment.
Deeply respects Kitty’s job as a nurse, mother and wife. Constantly helps her with house chores, food and fixing things around her house.
Eric assumes Donna will be a stay at home wife and will take care alone of the babies, to which he answers with: “Donna, man. Forman’s just limited by his experiences. As the voice of a new generation of smart, independent women, you need to make this dillhole realize that a mind and spirit like yours has more options than your mothers had.”
Immediately calls out Kelso on his bullshit when he cheats on Jackie and is the first one to step in to defend her when everyone else tries to make her feel bad all the time.
Thinks Jackie, a girl he doesn’t like, should and can do better than Kelso. Constantly tells her this and is disappointed at her getting back together with the cheater.
Believes Donna’s decision of not accepting Eric’s promise ring are right ones and supports her during the break up, even when Eric is his best friend/brother.
Punches assholes that call other girls names and want to use them only for sex.
Firmly believes women should not be only breeders or depend on a man, things that later he let Jackie know by telling her she should and can work for her own nice stuff.
Also reminds her he is NOT like Eric, and will happily cherish her in her success in the career of her choice. He won’t mind her being more successful than him and winning more than him.
Stands up for Brooke when asshole Kelso decides he won’t do anything about Betsy when he first hears the news about Brooke’s pregnancy. Makes him get some reason and do right by her and their unborn child.
DOES support Jackie’s career, even when they aren’t together at the moment and steps aside so she can success and be happy on her own.
And just as music is the space between notes, just as the stars are beautiful because of the space between them, just as the sun strikes raindrops at a certain angle and throws a prism of color across the sky—so the space where I exist, and want to keep existing, and to be quite frank I hope I die in, is exactly this middle distance: where despair struck pure otherness and created something sublime.