i love you, i don't love you

5

He might press her close now till the muscles knotted on his arms […] There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.”

A quick Clexa AU fic list as requested by anon

This is rather chaotic as I’ve put it together real quick and I’ve plenty favorites - I might add more as I remember or as I go through my reading (some are finished, some are on-going). For now though …

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anonymous asked:

Hello Tink, how are you doing? :) I was just watching old Destiel scenes, and I came across the confrontation scene from episode 4x22, and Cas says: "I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion..." Which makes me think, Cas can see these emotions and recognize them inside Dean, right? Which means, maybe he can see in later seasons the love Dean feels. The question would be, does Cas recognize this love is romantic and directed at him? I'd love to know your thoughts. :)

I think this is something lots of people throw ideas around on, so please do add to this as this is just my opinion if I’ve missed something!

For me, Cas doesn’t try to read Dean on purpose these days, he respects his privacy. However he clearly could if he wanted to and this was brought up to us on purpose when Ketch told Cas to read his mind and he did - something that seemed to make Dean a little uncomfortable may I add.

I think Cas does know Dean’s feelings up to a point but Deans feelings are COMPLICATED. They are a whole hoard of all over the place. The overriding point being that although he loves Cas he probably is desperately trying NOT to, to hide it and repress it even from himself, for his own reasons, of which the most prominent being that he doesn’t think he deserves love, he doesn’t think Cas is capable of loving him without breaking himself (that scene with Kevin in s8 is so important to show this, that Dean thinks loving him would break Cas, and then in 12x12 Cas says being with Dean has changed him and there he is - breaking and DYING in front of him, it just CONFIRMS this for Dean, no wonder he still won’t say anything and just… is a MESS). Plus the whole “he’s a dude” thing. 

So well, this was the list of issues before season 12, it’s obviously changed now though over this season and there are so many less obstacles than there used to be in his mind after this season and 12x22′s culmination… hence why Cas had to die in 12x23 *sigh*.

Therefore I think Cas does kind of know, in a way, but it is so complicated that it is not clear (don’t forget that as an Angel his understanding of love is not simple and his emotions are also dulled, so sheesh how strong is his love for Dean given how blatant it is already how wrecked he is in s12…). I head canon that Cas only realised that his feelings towards Dean were LOVE when he himself became human in s9, and that was a whole heap of painful, so he may not think it is a good thing for Dean to love him back EITHER.

They both kind of know how the other feels, of course they do, they have to at this point, Dean knows what Cas did for him and how he did it all for him in the early days, how he has offered repeatedly to die with him so he wouldn’t be alone… But they both think the other would be better off NOT loving them so they don’t bring it up, thinking it would be best for them if it just went away, but it DOESN’T because they freaking love each other despite EVERYTHING and URGH.

On top of this he needs Dean to address the issues within himself rather than forcing him to face them by just flat out telling him he knows, that would anger Dean and make him feel violated rather than it being a positive thing… Cas knows that Dean needs to deal with stuff within himself, HE KNOWS THAT 12x22 NEEDED TO HAPPEN YET HE DOESN’T KNOW IT HAS BECAUSE HE DIED IMMEDIATELY.

So it just is a big circle of love and pain and feeling rejection and always wanting to protect and have good things for the other while not fighting for it for themselves, even though precisely doing that would help the other…

Originally posted by hunterchesters

Also, they’re a bit busy, apocalypses and all… ;)

So that new Camp Camp trailer dropped . . .

And you know, it’s be super weird if someone went through and screenshot every second their favorite character was on screen, especially when they’re a minor character no one else gives a shit about. What a ridiculous waste of time who would ever bother to do 

TOO LATE GUYS I ALREADY DID IT 

HERE IS MY DAUGHTER HER NAME IS GWEN AND I LOVE HER SHE IS PERFECT AND ADORABLE PLEASE TREAT HER WITH KINDNESS AND RESPECT

(and no I couldn’t get rid of the title bar just deal with it)

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okay so to the few that watch my vids,,,what should i post next? a ‘things you didn’t notice in’ video for bap’s dance practice or another crack video with the meme voice?

(;^ω^)

y’know those mutuals you have that you haven’t talked to directly?? those people that keeps on liking and reblogging stuff from your blog, those mutuals that sounds so intriguingly charismatic in the tags??? they’re just there, acting as a constant reminder to you that you’re not alone, and honestly I just wish my mutuals a lot of love. Please stay healthy, let your body recover if it isn’t. Stay hydrated and true, I love all of you and I wish for goodness to your life