i love you wade

The Signs as Iconic Deadpool Quotes

These were actually in a comic book.

“Deadpool” [Yellow Box]  (White Box)  “other”

Aries: (This plan that we’re working on..)  [What plan?]  “Operation moves.” (..Yeah. It’s awfully risky.)  [There’s a plan? Why wasn’t I-]  “Need-to-know basis. Sorry, pal.”  [But.. I’m you! That’s- that’s just stupid!]

Taurus: “Spidey! What up, baby boy? Haven’t seen you since Amazing Spider-Man #611!”

Gemini: “Let’s see how you like it when I smack you with an interspatial disorter that will temporarily phase your brain into dimension X!”  “This is an iPod with a piece of masking tape attached to it.”  “It is. Ah, but for a second there, you were really worried!”

Cancer: “Like Han Solo said to Chewbacca in Return of the Jedi, ‘Fly casual.’“ “Actually, I like the three new films better. The special effects are fantastic, and Hayden Christensen is an amazing actor.”  {shoots cronie} {points gun at other cronie} “Say Jar Jar Binks is an abomination! Say it!”  “Jar Jar Binks is an abomination! Jar Jar Binks is an abomination!”

Leo: “So, kick back, and enjoy Deadpool issue thirty-three point one!” [Wait, why is it called “point one”?]  (Who cares? At least this issue, there is a point.)

Virgo: “Why did you that?”  “Because you were gonna do it, and this is my book.” 

Libra: “Well, it’s in the Yellow Pages. You can’t get much realer than that!”  [I’m confused. I thought you couldn’t read anything in dreams.]  (I’m impressed he can read when he’s awake.)

Scorpio: “Oh, hi, kids. Deadpool here. Hate to interrupt the story like this, but our fine artist had the overwhelming urge to draw me in this pin-up shot, even though it’s nowhere in the script. Let’s return to the story while I go teach Michelangelo there the error of his ways.”

Sagittarius: “Is that Richard Nixon?”  “I can’t wait to pound that Dick… Uh. Hey, Doc, do you have a spell to undo what I just said?”

Capricorn: “I only have half a brain!” [be the meat] “What was that?!” (The other half. Ignore it.)

Aquarius: “Yeah, that fight lasted as long as Deathlok’s last comic.”

Pisces: “It’s funny.. I came here with starry-eyed dreams of killing some X-Babies. But now all I can think of is that damn Spider-Man.”

  • Matt: Can the sarcasm.
  • Peter: Please, I never use canned. Only fresh sarcasm here.
Movie Date

Pairings: Peter Parker x Reader, slight Stony

Request:

Could you please write a Peterxreader where reader is the youngest member of the team. One day they have a movie date in the tower and the team spies on them?Could it be in the point of view of the team?[bonus points if deadpool is in it] thanks <3            


Wade has created a chatroom.

Wade has added Natasha, Tony, Thor, Bruce, Steve, Clint, Vision.

Clint: What, Wade?!

Tony: Can we text later? You’re going to distract me!

Bruce: I need to ask, but is it not weird that us, adults, are spying on Y/N and Peter, our youngest and most loved members movie date in a very cramped up spot?

Natasha: If you don’t like it, then you can leave, Banner. It’s not weird. We are just being protective parental units/uncles/adopted android sibling.

Vision: Overprotective*

Steve: Should they be sitting so close? Natasha, should they? Maybe I should go in and sit between them.

Tony: I will kick your ass, Rogers! Don’t you dare ruin their date!

Thor: Grab him, Stark! I shall lay Mjolnir upon him so he may not move.

Steve: Try it and I will run off with Mjolnir!

Thor: You? Worthy? HA! Do not fight us!

Steve: I know you have your doubts. I know deep down you know that I was faking not being able to lift Mjolnir. Would you like to test me?

Thor: Anyone has any rope?

Keep reading

Good Morning, Sunshine

Wade Wilson (Deadpool) x Reader

Request:  “wade wilson/reader fluffy morning sex ?”

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s five fics. Sorry for blowing up your dash.


You hated mornings.

As a somewhat functioning adult living in the daily grind, you knew early mornings were a requirement to have some kind of income. Before you met Wade, that’s all there really was: the daily grind. Since he walked into your life over a year ago, there’s certainly been some excitement added. He’s made so many of the things you hated, fun. You were convinced that it was impossible for him to make mornings anything better than average.

Wade, being the devious shit he was, decided he could do a lot better than average. So, naturally, he woke you up over an hour before your alarm was set to go off. Needless to say, you were less than pleased.

Keep reading

  • Wade: Here you go, a nice hot cup of tea.
  • Peter: It's cold.
  • Wade: Uh, nice cup of tea.
  • Peter: Does this have salt in it?
  • Wade: Cup of tea
  • Peter: Is this even tea?!
  • Wade: CUP
Cotton Candy

Pairings: Peter Parker x Wilson!Reader

Request: Hi! A request where reader is Wade’s sister and it’s Peter x reader, includes all the avengers. Thank you!           


Vision has created a chatroom.

Vision has added Peter.

Vision: Thor is hogging the kiddies rides. I do not know where Rogers is and I can’t find you and Y/N to help me stop him.

Peter: Cap is with Mr. Stark winning prizes.

Peter: And Y/N is with me on the Ferris wheel but it got stuck, we can see everyone from up here.

Vision: I can fly the both of you down, if you’d like.

Peter: No!

Peter: The view from up here is beautiful.

Peter: But it’s not as beautiful as Y/N.

Vision has added Y/N.

Vision: Your first date with Peter seems to be going well, quite romantic. Being stuck on the Ferris wheel, alone.

Y/N: It would be romantic.

Y/N: If my brother wasn’t in the seat in front of us.

Keep reading

Conversations you’ll most likely have with Wade Wilson

(A/N): I haven’t written one of these in forever but then I was thinking about it and Wade showed up in my mind so take this lil thing


“(Y/N), I was thinking, what if we made our own chimichangas?” 

“Do I trust you enough in my kitchen to do that?”

~

“If I figured out how to do an upside down Spiderman kiss would you willingly participate?” 

“Wade, the last time you tried you fell and broke your neck, we’re not starting this again,” 

~

“Wade Wilson a sub, huh?” 

“Don’t mock me, I can tell you’re mocking me,” 

~

“(Y/N), my skin hurts, it all hurts,” 

“I’m so sorry Wade, I don’t know- I don’t know what to do to help,” 

~

“I was once told I looked like an avocado had sex with another avocado,” 

“Well…that’s creative…” 

~

“Wade, we’ve been over this, you don’t have to hide behind a mask when you’re around me,” 

“I’m afraid one of these days you’re gonna wake up and realize how much I look like a monster,” 

~

“One of these days I want you to meet Eleanor, I think she’d really like you,” 

~

“I swear to god Wade if I wasn’t dating you you’d be dating Peter,” 

“I don’t think Tony approves of me so I’m going to have to say no to that statement,” 

~

“Aren’t they so beautiful?” 

“Wade, it’s 3 in the morning, who are you talking to?” 

“The readers,” 

“The who?”

“Nothin’, just go back to bed,” 

~

“God bless america!” 

“Wade, you’re canadian, stop with this nonsense,” 

~

“Why do you love me?”

“Because you’re beautiful inside and out, plus, who else is going to put up with my crazy,” 

~

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for-” 

“I look like a volcano exploded on the moon that’s why,” 

~

“Your ass is lookin’ fine today Wade,” 

“Trust me, I know,” 

~

“Wade we have spent almost a grand in mexican food this month,” 

“So I’m guessing that if I asked for tacos tonight you’re gonna say no?”

~

“Oh my god Wade! Don’t ever do that again!” 

“(Y/N), I’m fine, really, It’s just a little scratch,” 

“Wade your arm is actually missing shut the hell up,”

~

“If you ever so casually chop your fingers off again I swear I’m going to withhold sex from you for a week,”

~

“Did you know I love you?”

“Mhm,” 

“The voices in my head love you too,” 

“…Wade what the hell,” 

~

“Wade this is so gross, I can’t do this,” 

“Come on (Y/N) just stitch me up and I’ll be good as new- If you throw up into the gaping hole in my chest I will never forgive you,” 

~

“Wade I feel sick and If you don’t stop trying to pet me with that broom I swear I’m going to rip your hands off,” 

~

“I can’t believe you tried to use a fucking tide pen-” 

“I was young and inexperienced god,” 

~

“I think I got the suit wet with my blood and now I can’t get it off of me and I need help,” 

~

“So I may be a little late tonight, I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’,” 

*Casual sounds of screaming and gunshots in the background*

“Fine but I’m not making your chimichangas so you’re going to have to pick them up,” 

~

“I like you better without the mask,” 

“Do you now?”

“Yeah, You got a pretty nice face,” 

~

“I’ll love you till the end of time,” 

“Well you keep up with all this vigilante shit your time is running out buddy,”

“So…do you love me back or what?”

~

“If I have to come pick you up from a disappointed Fury one more time I may never take you out for food again,” 

~

“We don’t deserve you,” 

“Yeah you do buddy,” 

crazybluegirl  asked:

I loved seeing you in the panel with Bob, Wade and Jack! Your laugh made my entire day, wish I could've met you! :(

I’m glad you enjoyed it! It was a little messy as far as a panel goes. I know that all of us we’re kinda confused with the format of it, but we had a lot of fun! Hope it was worth the wait for you guys! Thank you for coming!!!

8

“George, I have an ulcer, I don’t sleep well, mostly because you keep calling me in the middle of the night, and if you don’t call me I dream that you’re gonna call me. I think about you in the shower…not in a good way, but in an I’m-so-distracted-I-can’t-remember-if-I-washed-my-hair kinda way - so I’ll wash my hair twice! So I have a hole in my stomach, I’m running out of shampoo and today is the first day in my life that I did not give a thousand percent on the job. And I hate that feeling.” - Two Weeks Notice (2002)

Today...

In issue 18 of Spider-man/Deadpool, Spidey hugged Deadpool.
Not the other way around. It was a true hug that Wade deserved, and it was enough to makes me happy.

No Sleep Till Brooklyn, Part 1

Heartmate Series: Steve Rogers x Reader

Characters: Steve Rogers, Deadpool, Falcon

Warnings: language, hinted sexual/physical abuse, violence - Deadpool’s in it guys, it ain’t PG. 

A/N: This is my take on the soulmate trope. It’s not necessarily an AU, because technically heartmate is canon in the Marvel world - at least with Wade’s comics. This part is an introduction to the characters!

Summary: You’re a mutant turned mercenary, working with the best merc around - Wade Fucking Wilson aka Deadpool. You are also someone who doesn’t believe in the whole heartmate crap. How could two people solely be made for each other? Steve Rogers is Captain America,  Avenger extraordinaire. Call him old fashion, but he believed in heartmates and knew he had one out there. The two of you cross paths one day and things get set in motion. Can Steve get passed the jaded wall you built or would things just crash and burn? And will Wade Wilson finally learn to put the seat down after taking a piss? Who knows.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6 Part 7

Keep reading

Massage Therapy

Nineteen yo!Peter and Pretty!Wade AU
Idk guys a scene came to me while I was driving so here ya go.
****************
“Peter, I don’t understand how you strain your back.” Harry shut the door to the fridge in their tiny loft apartment. “You never even go outside. All you do is study.”

“I do stuff.” Peter mumbled and looked away when Harry bent over to get the pans out of the bottom cupboard.

His crush on his best friend was bordering on obsessive, and was definitely unhealthy, but Peter didn’t know what to DO about it. The worst thing was, Harry knew and took every chance he got to smile that wicked smile and run his fingers through that thick hair and basically rub his and MJs relationship in Peters face.

It was like torture every fucking day.

“You don’t do anything.” Harry was still arguing. “But when I strain something when I work out, or you know, marathon sex-” he dropped a flirty wink and Peter wanted to scream. “-I have a guy I go see. Names Wade, he works out of the spa off fifth, you know the place?”

“Yeah.” Peter said shortly, neglecting to mention that he knew the place only because Harry paid for MJ to go, and she always told him about it.

“Go see Wade. He will fix you, I guarantee it. Guys got magic hands, and I feel like you need that. Seems like life’s been–” Harry’s gorgeous eyes dropped lower to Peters lap. “–hard for you lately.”

(Jesus Christ I hate him) Peter thought, but he took the card Harry handed him anyway.
****************
Peter felt weird lying on the massage table in just a towel, exposed and vulnerable and he hated that.
But it was too late now, the receptionist had assured him Wade would be in fairly quickly.

(Oh shit) the door opened right then and Peter sat up nervously.

“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Wade was tall, all muscles wrapped in a tight white shirt and fitted khakis, topped with hazel eyes and dirty blonde hair.

“Uh hey. I’m Peter. You must be–”

“Wishing I hadn’t worn such tight pants.”

Peters mouth dropped. “WHAT?!”

“Uh, what? No I said Wade. My names Wade.” A charming smile that put Harry’s to shame crossed a perfect face and suddenly Peter was very aware that he was just in a towel.

“So.” Wade started dimming the lights, flipping on music. “How do you know that obnoxious prick Osborn? He’s the one who called in your appointment. You guys dating?”

“No. NO. Just friends.”

“Well that little piece of information is going to make this massage so much more fun.”

Peter couldn’t help laughing, tugging at his hair a little in a frankly adorably shy way. “I don’t know what that means.”

Wade just wiggled his eyebrows. “Why don’t you lay down on your stomach there, cutie pie. It’s frowned on for me to ask customers out while they are mostly naked, so please stick around after I’m done so I can get your number.”

Peter rolled over, keeping the towel over his ass carefully. “Why–why do you want my number?”

“Oh my god I already love you.”
****************