i love you they cannot take it

it is not a coincidence
that both in moments of pure ecstasy
and pure terror,
we scream.

my therapist says,
it sounds like you’re having a love affair with fear.
how do you feel about that?
i respond,
i guess it scares me.

she doesn’t laugh.

fear puts a want in me that i cannot describe,
takes me to the movies,
some b-grade horror,
and slashes me to life.

so charming, this fear of mine,
puts its hand on my back by some train tracks,
asks if i want to go for a dive.

fear kisses me awake at night,
sings me to sleep come morning.
it holds my heart still for me on the coasters,
the cliff sides,
by the coffins.

knits the dark into a blanket for me,
wraps the snake around my shoulders like a shawl.

fear has its hands in my hair
and its fingers between my lips,
whispering in my ear
to look death right in the eye.

clasps its hand over my mouth
when i dare say: “too high.”

fear knows what gets me going,
electric fences,
glass shards,
haunted homes,
takes me running with scissors around the reservoir,
takes me deep into the woods,
leaves me all alone.

my therapist says,
it sounds like you’re out chasing thrills,
how do you feel about that?
i respond,

fear is a fickle lover,
when it clings to me,
i cling back.

but the longer it stays,
the longer it’s gone.

—  THE ADRENALINE JUNKIE / naiche lizzette

anonymous asked:

Hey Greg. I had a drunken one night stand and I feel so disgusting and full of regret, it wasn't 'me' at all. I always swore I would only ever have sex with people I was in love with and now I feel like I've cheapened myself in some way. How do I move on from this experience?

You did what you did and you cannot take that back. It happened. You have a wild side, an uninhibited side. Don’t deny that. Don’t deny that part of you in your sober life. Get to know that part of you; it isn’t a bad thing it just is. Get to know it and let it out in your sober life and in activities that are safer than the ones you’ll do because of it in your drunken life. The more you let that part of you out and the more you acknowledge that part of you in your day-to-day life the less it’ll have to assert itself when you’re drunk.

Feel what you feel from this, the shame and the regret come from thinking you should be a certain way. You are split. You think you should be a certain way, but you aren’t. But you are you, you are perfect; no one is. Just be you and don’t deny parts of you that you were taught were bad. Embrace those parts of you and become whole.

Take care,


Delaying Replies. I've got reasons.

For those who have commented on the last few updates of Foundling Part 7, I will reply once this part is complete. I have read them all. Replies will have to wait mainly because this part was my favorite one to write and to take screens for. AND I cannot promise to control myself and not spoil bits of the story. Actually replies to anything will happen after this part.

As always, thank you for supporting a torturous thing. I would say Mazen loves you but well he can’t (spoiler??? maaaybeee).

the thing


the Syrian dictator Assad, along with Putin, are about to completely massacre an entire city - Aleppo. the Syrian army has taken over 98% of the city. families are sitting together, praying, knowing any minute will be their last minute on earth. civilians are tweeting their last goodbyes, sending out last minute pleas for someone, anyone, to help.

imagine that. sitting with the people you love, holding each other, hearing nothing but their harsh breathing and the clash of bombs completely destroying your home, killing your neighbors, your friends, you. just imagine that. i cant, i really cannot.

the U.N. has already called Syria the worst humanitarian crisis in this century. experts are saying this massacre rivals that of WW2 (not to take away from the holocaust) in terms of how heinous and completely disgusting it is.

i’m not the best with words, with conveying me emotions. but please take a moment out of your time to acknowledge this, at least. this is the worst humanitarian crisis happening on Earth right now, according to the U.N. this is a breach of human rights, of all our rights. you should be concerned, in the least.

I love how you think the younger paladins are like 4 mostly normal functioning humans but when you leave them alone in a new place they pick a fight with a knife salesman, steal fountain money to buy a video game, violently take over a restaurant, get a free cow and become such nuisances that they get chased out by a guy on a space segway. 

Romantic Royalty Starters
  • “I want to unlace your corset slowly.”
  • “I couldn’t take my eyes off you from across the ball room.”
  • “Not any jewel in the entire kingdom could compare to you.”
  • “I cannot marry that man. He smells of rank meat!”
  • “I cannot marry that woman. Her voice causes dogs to howl!”
  • “I need you in my life. I am incomplete without you.”
  • “We could retire to my suite. No one would know.”
  • “May I suggest a walk in the garden? The roses are in bloom.”
  • “I will slay anything that dares to harm you, my love.”
  • “There are secret passages. Come! We haven’t a moment to spare.”
  • “I will marry you. I shall make it happen. Somehow.”
  • “How long would it take to remove all those layers?”
  • “My crown is heavy. It feels lighter when you’re around.”
  • “If you go to war we will not be together…”
  • “Nothing matters if we are not allowed to be in each other’s arms.”
  • “Our parents are fools.”
  • “I do not care if our nations are at war.”
  • “It drives me mad that no one will leave us alone!”
  • “When we are not together, I am pained to my very soul.”
  • “We must pretend not to feel anything. They cannot know about us.”
  • “Forgive me…”
  • “We shall be happy together, forever.”
  • “I know that fairy tales cannot come true but I feel that one may have.”
  • “You are so magnificent on the dance floor.”
  • “You sparkle even without the jewelry.”
  • “I have never seen a more eloquent creature.”
  • “This maybe the wine talking, but you are glorious.”
  • “I’ll never look at another.”
  • “I’m blushing…”
  • “I will fight for you.”

i cannot and will not be stopped so here take these best friends

 click here for full quality

Totally canon convo between Viktor and Yuuri
  • Viktor: Y'know Yuuri, you won't have to train so fiercely to stay in shape forever~
  • Yuuri: I-
  • Viktor: Someday, you'll probably get too tired to work out everyday and turn back into a little piglet~
  • Yuuri: Viktor, what-
  • Viktor: Don't worry, Yuuri, I'll still love you when you're old and fat~
  • Yuuri: ...
  • Yuuri: Well, I'll still love you when you're old and bald
  • Viktor: ...
  • Yuuri: ...
  • Viktor: ...
  • Yuuri: Too mean?
  • Viktor (hysterically): Yuuri why would you say that is it really getting that thin I cannot believe you would bring that up now take it back do you really think I'll go bald no I'd rather die when I'm still youthful and handsome and-
  • Yuuri: Good god

Henry Cheng is literally like a fangirl that cba to read all of trc so just got trk and started reading it halfway through. Up untill then he’d only read fanfictions and already loves all the characters but has like …. no idea wtf is going on.

  • who is this gay gray guy…..
  • *grips chest* no- my biggest and only fear of kidnapping...
  • guys…guys i dont want to interupt but this guy is dead - he’s legit bones
  • gansey, get out, we all want to see you cry
  • PaRrisH stOP kILLing RoNan I tOaTaLLy ShIp U GuYs 
  • TAKE - tAkE im to the MAGIC FOREST!!!!!
  • YEAH!….that will work!
  • my guy< do not say u cannot save,
  • i know u lien
  • u just killed this bitch with ur mouth

I ordered (and devoured) this big, beautiful vegan pizza earlier today. 😍🍕 Free of all the cruelty and pus of cow’s milk. 🐮🍼 Before I went vegan, I had been vegetarian for a few months. I remember telling myself (and other people), “I could never go vegan. I love cheese too much!” 🧀 This is a common remark among meat eaters and vegetarians alike. Looking back, I cannot believe how self centered and ill-educated my actions and justifications were. I mean just think about it. We are the ONLY species that takes milk from another animal. Could you imagine drinking pig milk? 🐷 Monkey milk? 🐵 Dog milk? 🐶 So why are we enslaving cows, artificially inseminating females so they can continue to produce milk, and separating mothers from their calves? Ask anyone why they drink milk, and the standard response is calcium. A common myth perpetuated by misinformation and propaganda spread by the dairy industry is that we need cow’s milk for strong bones to prevent fractures. 💪 Yet statistics prove time and time again that countries with the highest dairy consumption rates also have the highest rates of osteoporosis, a condition of weak and brittle bones. Meanwhile, countries that subsist mainly off plants with little to no dairy and animal product continually have lower rates of chronic diseases and osteoporosis. 🌎🌱 Dairy also contains over 60 naturally occurring hormones (which causes acne), pus due to inflammation and infection of cow udders, and casomorphins (yes, as in morphine) which gives dairy it’s addictive quality. It’s about time we DITCH DAIRY. Believe it or not, you can live without cheese or milk and still enjoy the same meals. Simply replace cow’s milk with one of the many plant based alternatives (you’ll find one that you like, I promise), purchase plant based cheeses such as Daiya or Chao, or skip the creaminess altogether and opt for a cheeseless pizza like I did! The man who made my pizza began showing it to all his co-workers who remarked on how good it looked, and these were meat eaters! ☺️

Concept: Otabek taking Yuri on a date to cat caffee at one of their travels aroud the world. Who is more happy? Yuri, sitting and playing with four cats at the same time, barely holding happy tears, at times looking at Otabek, whispering “I love you”? Or Otabek, drinking his overpriced coffee, for the entire time looking at Yuri with happy smile, because he cannot be more in love with that boy?

I cannot stress the importance of taking a dudes treatment of you for what he really feels!!!!!! If he’s treating you badly, don’t make up excuses for him. Listen to your friends. Don’t try to create a personality he doesn’t have and convince yourself that one day everything will drastically change. Don’t use those small moments that he is remotely nice to you as a sign that things will get better/things are fine. If he is not nice to you, if he ignores you and takes you for granted, if you are putting in huge amounts of emotional labour and he is not returning the favour- leave him. A guy opening up to you and telling you all his issues is not a sign that he is in love with you. Somebody asking you for advice constantly and opening up to you doesn’t mean they care about you. Performing emotional labour for somebody doesn’t mean that you’re in love, it means you are the one investing all your time and emotional energy into them. That’s it. Take a person’s actions for what they are- the way they feel about you. People can go on and on about how much they care about you but still treat you like crap. You deserve better. You deserve more. Accept that. Let yourself let go, move on from relationships that are one-sided in effort. Move on from relationships that drain you. Move on from people that use you and take advantage of you.

You cannot forget to take some time to invest in yourself and everything that you are. Dive into your interests. Strengthen your talents. Develop your own self perception.  Find out who you are.
Your lips remain on my skin long after you’re gone. 
Your words are imprinted in my mind for days and they have a habit of not leaving.
But you leave often.
You take pieces of me each time you go but what you gave me remains, your touch and your words.
You cannot take that back. 
You can leave, you can be gone for the rest of my life, but that will always remain.
—  v.m

Is this the stark reality? It doesn’t matter how hard you work or how qualified you are, at the end of the day, you’re not a man? Is that what we just learned? This country was founded on immigration and today the only people that feel safe, that their rights are recognized and respected are white men.

I want to be positive; I want to support our democracy, but what can we take away from this? It’s a genuine question that we all need to ask ourselves. We shouldn’t blame anyone, we shouldn’t riot in the streets. We should think strongly and clearly about what to do next because we cannot change the past.

If you’re worried about the health of our planet, find out everything you can about how to protect it. If you’re worried about racial violence love your neighbor more than you’ve ever tried to before—no matter what they believe or who they voted for. If you’re afraid of a wall putting us all into another recession then organize and stand against it.

If you’re a woman and you’re worried that no matter how hard you work or how much you learn, there will always be a glass ceiling, then I don’t really know what to say. I don’t know what I would tell my daughter if I were you. Except to have hope. To work for the future.

We’re all allowed to be sad that the present isn’t what we thought it was. But we mustn’t be defeated. We will keep educating ourselves and working twice as hard as the man next to us because we know now that it is not fair. It is not fair in the workplace, so you make it impossible to fail. And like Hillary, it might not work.

But like Hillary, you can still be an inspiration and get important things done. Do not let this defeat you—let this enrage you! Let it motivate you! Let this be the fire you didn’t have before. If you are an immigrant, if you are a person of color, if you are LGBTQ+, if you are a woman—don’t be afraid, be loud!

—  Jennifer Lawrence open letter after Trump’s presidency