Summary: Reader with
anxiety has a panic attack while Sam and Dean are away and tries to control it.
But when it gets out of hand, she calls her big brother for help.
(A/N: yeah so I have anxiety and I just kinda wrote what it’s like for me to have an anxiety attack (which sucks, i might add lol) but anyways if any of you are struggling with anxiety or just anything in general message me, I’d be absolutely happy to listen to you and help you (just remember that I’m not like a doctor or anything, but I can help you as a friend<3) and just remember that I love you soo much and it does get better)
It has been just you and Dean in the bunker for the past two
days. Sam found a hunt in the next state over and it was small enough that he
decided that he’d take care of it himself. You and Dean have been relaxing ever
since, since it is mostly Sam who has to tell you both to do your laundry or to
clean the kitchen. With the bunker in a mess, you two are happy as can be.
You are watching a movie in your room when you hear a knock
on your door followed by Dean peaking his head through, “Hey (Y/N), I’m about
to head out. I probably won’t be home until the morning…”
Dean trails off, but you know what he’s hinting at. He wants
to go to the local bar and bang whatever hot woman he can find. You frown at
him and shake your head, “Really Dean? But whatever, just pick me up some food
whenever you get back.”
Dean smiles smugly before his face turns serious, “Are you
going to be okay here alone? Because I will stay home if you feel like you’re
going to have, uh, one of your, uh-”
“I’ll be fine Dean. Go on before all the hot ones leave.”
You try to joke as you save him the trouble of the uncomfortable talk about
your anxiety. Dean smiles one last time before saying an ‘I love you’ and
leaving for the bar. Your smile fades and your face is soon filled with worry,
but you of course are not about to tell Dean that you have in fact had that
nagging feeling in your stomach the whole day. The kind of nagging that has
always told you that there is something to worry and stress over and it won’t
stop until it has you in its grip and you are worrying over something totally
stupid. But Dean shouldn’t have to worry about it too, it’s your problem not
his, he has a life of his own and his own demons to battle, so he shouldn’t
have to cancel his plans and fight your demons for you.
It’s been two hours since Dean left and the feeling of worry
starts to creep into your mind again. Sam
should be back by now, the monster has probably been torturing him and he’s
going to die if he isn’t already. You try to shake the thoughts out of your
head but they continue to run through. His
blood is probably dripping out of his body and he is screaming for you to help
him. You feel your heartrate begin to pick up and your hands become cold
and clammy. If he dies, it’ll be your
Your eyes widen and you try to take a breath but it becomes
incredibly hard to breathe. Your breaths are shallow and tears start to pour
out of your eyes. You tell yourself to calm down but nothing you do seems to
work. You try to control your breathing how your brothers have taught you, but
they still come out it short, frightening gasps. It panics you more because you
can’t breathe, feeling as if someone is strangling your throat.
You violently shake, freezing as if ice pumps through your
veins instead of blood. You don’t know what to do anymore, you can’t control
it; it’s too big. You cry out as you reach over to your nightstand for your
phone and try to look through your contacts through blurry vision.
Dean is in a cheap motel room with a woman. She’s a very
attractive woman; Dean knew she was the one right when he walked into the bar.
He talked her up a bit, and before he could buy her a third drink, she was
already all over him, whispering dirty things into his ear and looking at him
with lustful eyes.
He was on top of her now, kissing her neck as she clung onto
his for dear life. Her leg hiked over his back and Dean smiling widely on her
mouth. All his thoughts and worries are gone and replaced with lust and desire.
A whimper escapes her mouth as Dean’s lips travel lower down her body. She
latches onto his hair, making Dean moan loudly as their lips reconnect again.
Then his phone rings from his jeans that are discarded on
the floor and they both turn to look at it for a second. “Just ignore it,” Dean
says huskily as he turns is attention back on the woman and pulls her face to
his. The phone stops ringing and they continue as if nothing ever interrupted
them. After a few minutes, the familiar sound of Dean’s phone starts to ring
The woman begins to
get irritated and pulls away from Dean and lays her back onto the bed. Dean
huffs before he reaches off the bed and pulls his phone from his wadded jeans.
He answers it quickly and lies beside the woman in a erupt manner.
“What?” He asks harshly and watches as the woman moves so
her naked body is on top of his, slowly kissing his neck as he listens to
He is about to hang up when he hears your voice, “D-Dean…”
You are hysterically crying and he can barely understand
anything you are saying, “(Y/N)?” He asks, his voice sounding so concerned that
the woman stops nibbling on his ear and looks down at him, “(Y/N) what’s
“Dean, I-I need help…” You whisper between sobs.
“Okay listen, I’m on my way. I’ll be home in five minutes,
just try to stay calm okay?” He says frantically as he pushes the woman off his
body and starts to put his clothes on as he is still on the phone with you.
“(Y/N) you still there? Just stay calm I’m on my way home.”
He hears you say something inaudible and hang up, and he
turns to the woman who has her arms crossed and a sour look on her face.
“That your girlfriend?” She asks, pursing her lips.
“That’s my sister, I have to go.” He says as he grabs his
keys from the nightstand in a rush, “I had fun though, we should do this
He slams the door and hastily makes his way to the Impala
and speeds off towards the bunker. Once Dean reaches the bunker, he pulls his
keys from the ignition and quickly unlocks the door and runs down the stairs.
“(Y/N)? (Y/N) where are you?”
He doesn’t see you in the library, so he immediately runs to
your room, where he last left you. He opens your door and his heart is
shattered to millions of pieces. He sees you in the corner of your room in a
fetal position, shaking violently. “(Y/N)!” He says as he walks over to you and
kneels in front of you, placing his hands on your shoulders.
“(Y/N), breathe! Hey look at me,” Dean says, and moves your
head so you are looking straight into his face. His eyes are filled with worry,
but he tries to cover it up so you won’t get worse. He looks into your red,
puffy eyes, “Breathe, you have to breathe to calm down, come on I know you can
Without taking your eyes off his, your breathing slows and
your hyperventilating stops. You begin to cry again, hating looking weak in
front of either one of your brothers. Dean wraps you in his arms and holds you
tight, “I’m here (Y/N), I’m here. Nothing is going to hurt you, I got you.
You’re going to be alright.”
After a few minutes of Dean soothing you, you two move to
the bed where you nuzzle into Dean’s chest as he runs his hand through your
hair, calming you down. You look up at him with your swollen eyes, “Dean, I’m
sorry I ruined your night…”
“Nah, don’t worry about it; it was a bust anyways. There
wasn’t even any good looking one’s there anyways.” Dean smiles as he places a
kiss to your forehead, and you slowly close your exhausted eyes to go to sleep.
“Kian!” Said JC in surprise as I quickly dried my eyes
and run out of the kitchen , hugging Kian. “Well hello to you too.” He said
looking down at me confused but sill hugging me back. “How was the trip?” I
asked trying to calm myself a bit and hide my feelings from Kian.
Kian was finally ok. He was once again spending time
with me and his friends. But I was not ok. Ever since that morning my mind is
never clear. I feel bad for hurting JC, I feel guilty for something that was
not even my fault. But most of all I felt so overwhelmed to know that two best
friends like me and I have to choose between them. JC keeps on trying to break
me and Kian, and sometimes it looks like it’s working making me have some
feelings for him, but I still didn’t know what to do.
All I could do or think of right now was getting away
from everyone and everything, and since we were living so close to my childhood
house I knew exactly where to hide. There was this little forest near my old
house where a like was hiding in the middle. It was beautiful and calming and
the moon light was making it look so fascinating and breathtaking. It was not
far away so I decided to go there and hide, giving myself enough time to think.
Everything was so blurry in my mind. The words JC kept
saying over and over again, I love you, and the whole relationship I’ve had
I was out tonight with my friends and Y/N knew I would
be late. She said she would probably go for a walk for a while and then go back
home and sleep. But when I got home she was nowhere to be found. I called her
name as I opened the door to our apartment knowing she would be awake watching
a TV show but she never replied. I looked everywhere but I got nothing. Until
it hit me. For about a month or so she was a bit different. She was tossing
around when sleeping, having horrible nightmares almost daily and she would not
be ‘there’ when I was talking to her. Something was off and I didn’t even
notice. So, I decided to go for a walk trying to find her when I remembered
when she used to go every time things got tough. She always did that when she
needed to clear her mind.
“It’s a beautiful night.” I exclaimed walking to sit
right next to her. “Kian! You scared me!” She said giving me a smile. “Why are
you here?” She asked looking at the reflection of the moon. “You were not home
and I figured out you would be here. Why are you here?” I asked her wrapping my
arms around her looking up at the stars shining above us. “Thinking.” “About?”
I questioned and she hesitated for a moment. “Me and JC hooked up.” She said
looking down and ashamed. My arms immediately left her small figure, my eyes
widening and my mouth hanging open. “H-how would you do that?” I asked more
like cried out looking at her face. “You-you were distant all these days-“ “And
you decided to go with my best friend?!?!” I interrupted, my voice a little
louder that indented. “NO! Kian, let me finish. You were at your family’s house
and he asked if I wanted to ‘watch movies and get drunk’. I agreed and we did
as told. We watched frozen and then supernatural. We set this bet of taking a
shot every time Dean said ‘son of a bitch’ and they were plenty. The next thing
I remember is waking up naked next to JC.” She said tears in her eyes evident
and her voice cracking. “Was he drunk as well?” I asked cause I knew how she is
when drunk. She never knows what she is doing and that’s why we – me and our
friends – always make sure she doesn’t drink more than three drinks every time
we go out together. She looked down once again and I asked a little bit louder
this time. “WAS HE?” “No.” She said and started crying again.