i love you annabel

We loved with a love that was more than love
—  Edgar Allan Poe
8

Clue references in Poe Party (46/?): An assumption we’ve been making all night just turned out to be completely false?!?! What is going on here???

Carol

Carol is very important to me, in many ways.

First and foremost, it is a beautiful story and a near perfect combination of acting, directing, writing, set decoration, costuming, and every other piece of the puzzle. Never have I seen a more poised or exquisite love story, bar none.

So it is important because it is, for lack of a better word, good.

It is also important because it tells an excluded class of people that their stories are important and beautiful and worth telling.

This is the first American movie I’ve seen in theaters featuring two gay women. When I was 17, 18, 19, I, in secret, watched Imagine Me and You and Loving Annabelle and Kissing Jessica Stein and The L Word and The Real L Word and every other cult lesbian film/tv show I could find. As I consumed them, I jumped at the sound of footsteps or a knock at my door, terrified of anyone finding out I liked women, because I knew it wasn’t “normal.” If it were normal, there would have been portrayals of it in mainstream media. But there weren’t, and I was terrified of being “not normal.” So I collected these films privately; I studied these works as though my life depended on it, grateful to finally have something validate my existence.

Few of them were good. But at the time, I preferred a poor film that I felt included in to a great film that told me I was insignificant, inhuman, irrelevant to the big stories. Simply omitting gays from major films that weren’t about gay rights told me that I had no place in the stories of our world. They told me I was undeserving of screentime. From that, I extrapolated that I was undeserving of “screentime” in life, as well. That I lacked value. That I didn’t exist, or shouldn’t exist, because if I had value at all, I would see myself reflected on a screen.

Movies are important. Representation is important. They do make an impact, and they should grow and evolve as our society grows and evolves to reflect what we actually look like. Carol is important to me because it’s a step in this direction. It’s not a cult lesbian film. It’s a film for everyone, a film with well-known and extremely talented actresses, a film that tells me that my story has value. A great film that tells me that my story has value. That would be enough for me, as Blue is the Warmest Color was, but more than that, it’s a great, mainstream, Oscar-nominated, American film that tells me that my story has value. That is something I’ve never seen, so for Carol, I’m grateful.

Also, again, a simply astonishing film that everyone should go see.

Thank you for your time.

got a new baby puppy today 💕 we just recently had to put down our dog annabelle, and my mom wanted to name this one a name that starts with ‘a’ in her honor. when we got there to pick him up, we found out the breeder had named him alaska, and we knew it was fate. i can sense annabelle’s spirit in this dog, so much so that when i held him for the first time i burst into tears. i love and miss you annabelle, and welcome home alaska 💕