i love when people text me this stuff

I have no idea why people don’t like listening to infodumps. 

Like? Can’t you feel the sheer fucking happiness that is a person telling you about a special interest? Can’t you see the way people’s entire faces light up when they tell you about their favorite things? 

Come tell me about your stuff! Tell me about rocks or Minecraft or your OCs!! 

I love hearing it. No one should ever have told you that people wouldn’t.

it’s weird when exclusionists say “you’re lgbt because of your transness and bisexuality, not because of your asexuality,” like being ace is something that can be removed from the rest of my identity. i’m demisexual, which has had deep and lasting effects on my relationships. it’s intertwined with my being trans – for a long time i was afraid i’d never find romantic love because of (a) the shitty way cis gay men treat trans mlm, and (b) the fact that attraction is so unreliable and strenuous for me to even develop, takes so much time and energy just to happen. 

for me being ace AND trans means i grew up thinking “no one will love me because my body is undesirable, and my sexuality is undesirable too.” i can’t separate that from the rest of me. i just can’t. 

and then when i mention stuff like this to those in the Discourse, i get called a “cishet” like … good job! you just called a real live queer trans man a cishet! and it’s usually cis people calling me a “cishet ace” which just … what the fuck? 

You know, Soule has actually done some really wonderful work in terms of portraying Matt’s blindness in his extremely depressing and frustratingly disjointed Daredevil run. So when people ask if he has a disability, and sort of insinuate that his limitations don’t really exist or are voided out by his super senses, you can actually just respond with these two pages:


 Yep. He’s totally got the advantage there. It’s not like this small setback is that serious, lol, it’s just a bomb, a blind man could— 

 Oh. Wait.

One of my least favorite things is when a younger person is interested in something or just like, talks about some general subject and an older person is like ????? what??? you weren’t even alive/you were so young when X!! like imagine if you started talking about how much you love Shakespeare and some rando time traveled just to tell you “But you weren’t even alive when he was writing!” like did you know that it’s a lot more fun if you expand your interests to things that haven’t existed exclusively in your lifespan & that the past will inevitably affect the present so it’s good to be aware of it

BTS as shit I say

Seokjin: Everything you feed me is a lie.

Yoongi: When I’m alone, I try and communicate with the devil. I heard he’s a great conversationalist.

Hoseok: I’m feeling bruised, abused and confused

Namjoon: I didn’t even touch it and it broke.

Jimin: I love you…I love you…I love you….I SAID I LOVE YOU GIVE ME ATTENTION

Taehyung: Meth fucks my brain. MATH. I MEANT MATH!

Jungkook: Apparently there are hot singles near me.

maybe it’s only because it’s sunday night and i’m feeling slightly mushy, but i’m thinking about the sheer amount of creation that goes on in every fandom i have ever been part of, and just???

we have as fangirls created an entire dialect (anyone who’s spent any time on tumblr can speak it/recognize it, and it’s very distinctive and expressive and the way it compensates for being a text-based medium without inflections/facial expressions and the other things that usually go into a language are endlessly fascinating for me). we come up with off the cuff headcanons. we write vast volumes of insightful and sophisticated media critiques/meta pieces/theories and speculations (and sometimes put more thought and care into it than the actual writers, alas). we get so much meaning out of every look/line/scene. it’s astonishing. we liveblog, we flail, we cry, we enjoy (and bewail) the experience without holding back, and spend so much genuine energy on the Very Real Need for Those Idiots to Just Kiss, and i love it.

we spontaneously and easily create full-length stories that are often better than many published books, or just a snippet to support or flesh out a single piece of narrative/spoilers. we interact and encourage and inspire each other in constantly flexible and fun ways in doing it. we eagerly and happily consume these stories and create more from them in turn.

we spend hours on edits, or gifsets, or drawings or sketches or digital paintings, or other beautiful pieces of art, and the talent is just amazing. simply because we love something and want to make something pretty. after all, all this creation is happening for free, in ordinary people’s off-hours. nobody’s an expert, nobody’s getting paid for it. everyone can participate. yes, there’s the whole question of fandom culture and its problems/issues, but that’s beside the point in terms of what fandom itself is.

see, this is why i am suspicious of any author/creator who proclaims to hate and/or dislike/not encourage fanworks. yes, some of it is creepy and strange and that goes with the territory. but honestly i think that ignoring or discounting the sheer amount of passion with which people love stories, and want to be part of their creation in imaginative mediums, is a mistake.

and because of all this creation, we talk to each other. we become friends. i have people i met here who i text all day every day about my life, regular things, non-fandom stuff (although there is certainly lots of that as well). i count on those people to be there and to support me and to turn to when i need someone to talk to (and try in return to be the same for them).

the world is stupid, the world is dumb, the world is scary. we need more creation. we need more connection. we need more of whatever this energy is that drives us to question and explore and care and make shit and enjoy it together and to tell a new and better story as a result. we need to move it beyond tumblr, sure – but i also think it’s a hell of a start.

so yes. this isn’t anything that hasn’t been said before, obviously, but it struck me tonight for some reason, and i wanted to say something.

i love you guys. keep being awesome.

tbh people need to understand that i literally cannot empathise with them so?? sometimes giving advice or whatever is fucking exhausting because i can’t summon the effort to pretend to give a shit 

but at the same time i love being the person people come to with problems because it makes me feel like people look up to me?? so i have to force myself to fake caring and churn out all these boring phrases that i’ve stolen from movies and books and stuff so when the time comes they help me out if i need it 

honestly its so bizarre to know that other people dont work like this?? is empathy a myth?? im starting to think it might be a myth.

Things To Do During That 5 Minute Pomodoro Break

Today was my first experience with the Pomodoro method (which is studying for 25 minutes, taking a break for 5 minutes, then studying for another 25 minutes, etc.) and it went so freaking well! 25 minutes didn’t feel like a lot, and I managed to study for 4 hours, which was really good as I was reviewing math and I usually quit about 1 hour in with that subject. 😂 I like this method so much that I decided to make a post about it. Here’s some things to do during that 5 minute break!

Drink a glass of water - I’ve been trying to stay better hydrated, so drinking a glass of water almost every 25 minutes is probablyyyy going to help.

Eat a snack - They say chocolate helps stimulate your brain, and what kind of fool would I be to argue with someone who’s telling me to eat chocolate? ;)

Do jumping jacks - or some other easy exercise just to get your butt to stop feeling numb from sitting.

Answer your text messages - I was chatting with 6 different people while trying to study, so I answered them when I could. 😂

Go to the bathroom - After all, you’ve drank, like, a gallon of water by now, right? 😂

Post a picture of your study space - This could be dangerous, as your 5 minutes on Tumblr could easily turn into 5 hours, so exercise this with caution. Of course, you could always take a picture and then post it later.

Organize stuff - I’m that freak that loves organization (one reason why office jobs appeal to me), so actually it’s really calming for me to make my bed, pick up my room a bit, or even just arrange my desk in preparation for the next 25 minutes.

Check social media - Again, exercise with caution! One moment I’m going through my Instagram feed and the next I’m watching glow up videos. 😬

WeHeartIt - My all time favorite app is WeHeartIt. I am so addicted. I love scrolling through it and salivating over all the pictures of cute clothes and bedrooms. (I’m a simple girl.)

Write in your journal - If you keep one, that is. I think it’s relaxing to journal or doodle.

Dance - I had to add this. 😜

5 minutes isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to replenish your drive, so use it well! Do something that relaxes you or something that gets you off your feet – depending on your mood. Math stresses me out, so I opt for relaxing. History can be dull, so for that I would choose something more energetic. Just make sure that when those five minutes are over, you’re back at your table and ready to learn. ^_^

Also, a YouTuber named Thomas Frank made this great video where he studies for 25 minutes. Watching it is sort of like having a study buddy, and it helps you keep track of the 25 minutes!
The big flaw with Compatibility!!

I decided since I came back from my break, I would work on my content for my website and stop posting here. I am going to stop with the expectation of this because I feel like it’s specific to Tumblr. The reason I needed to take a break is that I have a lot going on in my personal life and at the same time I need a break. I love astrology passionately and intensely but sometimes its frustrating when you see people being misled. I don’t mean to sound like I’m attacking and I don’t want to explain in great detail through text as to why I think it’s so important for me to correct this stuff. 

First of all please remember that if you’re going to someone for synastry or advice on who’s “best for you”, be very very particular on who you go to if you’re going to take it seriously. And if you’re giving advice as a blogger, be accurate. It doesn’t matter how common a pairing is based off information or people on tumblr because leaving people who believe in astrology, there’s over 7 billion people in the world. It doesn’t make sense to go from a small amount of less than 20,000. In statistics thats called a small sampling size, and in my opinion it is small because we’re generalizing a point. It’s also densely biased when we talk about pairings, find someone who isn’t biased. You can’t take what you’ve experienced and make that set in stone for people who share a sign with you. 

For instance sextile pairings are not the best pairings. They aren’t dynamic or erotic in an emotional or physical sense. A lot of people ask about zodiac sign pairings leaving the whole charts alone and just focusing on the Sun. They aren’t the worst but they aren’t the best, in fact the sextile in general isn’t a major aspect on its own. They’re just extremely glamorized. Soo…. Taurus x Cancer, Capricorn x Scorpio, Leo x Libra, Aries x Gemini isn’t the best or the most breathtaking. It’s heavily glamorized, even between the signs but it isn’t true. If planets could rule relationships between aspects, I’d make Neptune rule this. I have nothing against sextile pairings but I hate seeing people misinformed. You can’t take a couple relationships or your own and label the whole thing, don’t be biased. 

You can’t tell someone who makes a great pair for them just because of an experience(s) you have. For instance if we theoretically could equally divide the world population by all 12 zodiac sign, you can’t be the spokesperson for all of them. Every chart is so specific and individualized, even your Sun, Moon, and Venus don’t tell you all you need in a relationship or who you should be with.I can’t go up to another Taurus and start praising that all Cancers are such and such for us (good or bad). If I met 5 Cancers, they’d all be different. All the relationships would be different. 

I decided to make this as a little guide that if you’re refining your understanding of astrology or learning you can use this. This isn’t everything but its major components I want to focus on. 

The Most Compatible while being Blissful, Sweet, and Fulfilling

Trine relationships (same element pairings). You can see capability of Dyanamic and erotic emotional/physical/mental dynamic growth when looking at the individual charts. Not just placements******

The Most Compatible while being Dynamic, Binding, and  Erotic 

The sister/opposite signs. You can see the rest of the “story” with the two individual charts. Keep in mind sister signs are a lot more similar than you think, they have small differences in them which BETWEEN THEM seem significant because its something they lack.

The Least Compatible but Attracting and Dynamic. 

Square relationships. Remember to look at the individual charts to get the whole picture. Doesn’t mean it’s the least it cant work. 

**********       Remember each pair has potential to grow       ***********

Please always make sure that the people you go to for advice, or if you’re a blogger, that what your learning from is credible. It doesn’t mean that it’s on the internet it’s right. If you’re serious about astrology, go to the right people and even do your own research. I love people who take astrology seriously and passionately so you can always connect with me. The reason why I find so much importance in making it accurate is that we’re the next generation to hold astrology, and we don’t want to teach it wrong to the next generations. 

Never trust a man who says “guess we’re better off not being together” after telling him how you truly feel. I told him if you want this relationship to work out talk to me! Be an adult and speak to me. I told him I wanted to get something off my chest and say you wanna know what I’ve come to notice and how I feel about it? Throughout almost our whole relationship I’ve been the one making effort to invite you over to come hangout, talk to you, I’m the only one trying to keep our relationship alive, it’s not fair how this relationship has suddenly turned one sided. It’s not fair how it’s always me making effort to maintain everything. I understand you are tired, busy with baseball, etc but Every time I’m around you I feel like you don’t want to acknowledge my presence, don’t want to talk to me, sometimes I know you ignore my text messages. You’re really not there for me when I’m mentally unstable, don’t seem to be so supportive of me, you really don’t show me that you care about me. You’re the man of this relationship you should be the one doing all this stuff, not just me. A relationship goes two ways not one way. A relationship is when two people who claim they love each other, work together. If you don’t want to do any of this and step up, then goodbye. I’m done. Sometimes I really wish I had a much better boyfriend who is more supportive towards me and cares about me. I deserve so much better than this. You’re not the person who I thought you were. Then responded with guess we’re better off not being together then. I’ve been super upset lately.

__________

Honestly? This just sounds like the typical male “be an asshole until she dumps you” because he’s too cowardly to break it off himself. Especially considering his response, if he wanted to work it out or make an effort he’d say so and actually do it. You definitely do deserve way better! ❤

I just love when people know they belong to themselves, it’s something super refreshing when someone is like, “check this out, we completely vibe but I’m totally cool by myself right now and I’m not even trying to turn this into something.” Then all these awkward responsibilities come in like, “Man if you don’t give me a good morning text, we’re not cool today.” But if we’re just chilling and we’re enjoying each other’s company, that’s just is what that is—there’s no weird boundaries and stuff like that.
—  Kehlani 

i just? love when people acknowledge my sexuality without me bringing it up first or making terrible puns

like the other day i was sad bc one of my friends at work is quitting and she was like “you never know they could replace me with a cute guy who falls in love w you. or girl. or anyone really” and it was so casual and i loved it??? it made me feel Real

or how i just got home to find a sign on my door made by my roommate with rainbow colors in a word cloud for being bisexual

it’s just such a feeling of love and support and idk i’m just really grateful and lucky to have these people in my life

  • It's funny how I dedicate my days to people when they say they want to hang out and refuse to plan anything else because that's our day, how I send how are you texts and want to send them everyday and randomly check up on you if I notice it's been a while since we hang out, how I send people pictures and videos when I see stuff that reminds me of them and buy gifts for people just cause,
  • But no one does any of that stuff for me
  • And while i love my friends all I can do every night when I am laying in bed crying over the fact that I'm 25 next week is wonder where did I go wrong in my life that I haven't found anyone who will do any of that for me?
I’m in the middle of an artist’s heat

What is an artist’s heat, you ask. I define it as a physical and mental state revolving around the constant need to put something down on paper, or to design something on the computer, or build something from simple materials on your desk or table, etc. Your creative juices are always flowing, and it has a habit of interfering with tasks at hand. I would compare this to a monster’s heat, the constant need for monsters to mate with one another, except unlike a monster’s heat, an artist’s heat can strike no matter how much stress from other factors you are under. Stress from academic responsibilities and job occupation are no exception.

So to put it simply – it’s a bitch to have an artist’s heat when you’re tied down by real life responsibilities.

I have a ton of saved art drafts, a list of future ideas, and an overflowing desire to create and develop as an artist… and I’m tied down by my academics. Gotta love me some assignment deadlines.

Imma try to dish out some actual posts the moment I’m given at least a week off. I’m gonna take out this pent up artistic aggression on some people

@alldrawnup @ecto-tiddy you’d better be prepared~ I’m lashing out on you first

@negakuura I may have some stuff pending for you, dear friend

MORE TAGGY THINGS

 @fabulousdinosaurrawr​ tagged me (hey friend) and so here I go.

You don’t need to do this if you don’t want to. Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… And most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 15 for less than a month more
b - biggest fear: losing the people I love and fricking spiders with all their legs and bull crap 
c - current time: 12:48 pm
d - drink you last had: some bitter cranberry juice stuff
e - every day starts with: wondering what the frick am I doing awake
f - favorite song: I hate this question because I have no answer. At this exact moment I will choose the entirety of the Rime soundtrack.
g - ghosts, are they real: Yes. If not irl then in books.
h - hometown: A small little town that you probably won’t know exists unless you live there but won’t notice if you drive through it. It’s called Aynor.
i - in love with: My laptop and my fortress that is my room and all it’s books and comfort. Also Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul, fight me. 
j - jealous of: I would say people who have their lives together but no one has that so um…nothing?
k - killed someone: I’ve imagined it and threatened it more times than I can remember or count. And I have written character death because I really hate some characters.
l - last time you cried: Like two days ago because I was upset and frustrated because parents
m - middle name: Nicole
n - number of siblings: Biological: Two older brothers Un-biological: I have two like official sisters
o - one wish: I wish I knew what the frick I wanted
p - person you last called/texted: My mom to say I love you and my dad to say HAPPY FATHER’S DAY 
q - questions you’re always asked: “Are you okay? You look angry/sad.” My answer is: “That’s just my face.”
r - reasons to smile: Yuri on Ice, Tokyo Ghoul, the pride I have in myself for not disappearing over the summer and still talking to people, that I mean something to people out there.
s - song last sang: Snippets out of the musical Heathers because I watched it
t - time you woke up: like 10?
u - underwear color: Blue…I thought it was black
v - vacation destination: Freaking Disney or Harry Potter world because I never went as a child but not whenever everyone is there ya know? 
w - worst habit: Picking at my lip, biting my lip, bottling up all my feelings until I blow up, and I sometimes like get really pissed and have to hit something and I make it myself? Like I don’t know man, I’m screwed up.

x - x-rays you’ve had: Teeth, arm, leg, chest. Basically all over minus my head.

y - your favorite food: Most foods because yes. 
z - zodiac sign: Cancer

Alright now ten tags. @ministerofshipping @justacestars @crashnbees @glitter-glue-pop @writerswrite0109 @mursnurph @the-biggest-fanboy @hawberries @stfuxnicole @yoitssimonsnow

Just my two cents but I think it’s great to surround yourself with people who make you want to be more positive and stuff, like I understand that there’s comfort in those “I want to die” “same” kind of conversations and relationships but like…..the difference is staggering when a night out with one group ends in a nice dinner and “text me when your home safe!” vs a near death experience under a bridge in the dirt

you know what‘s always making me happy? when i look through the tags under my edits/gifs and ppl say how much they like them and tell me i should keep doing them and im sitting here and reading those texts and im just so grateful that people take their time to appreciate the stuff i make