i love when people fight over this stuff

anonymous asked:

"Being Raised By The Gotham City Sirens Would Include..."

Being Raised By The Gotham City Sirens:

  • Selina and Ivy are the responsible ones, while Harley has no idea how to raise a kid (well to be fair, none of them do, but they’re all trying their best)
  • Selina teaches you how to survive and adapt in tough situations, and to use what’s around you. 
  • Ivy teaches you to how to get people to do what you want. She also shows you around her lab and all her botany stuff, but Selina keeps a watchful eye. She doesn’t want anything weird happening to you.
  • Harley just treats you like her best friend. Always wants to take you out into town to do something fun and dangerous. You learn your own lessons from Harley, since she doesn’t teach you anything explicitly. 
  • They probably don’t try to raise you to be a “villain”. They just teach you what they know and let you develop into your own individual personality.
  • All are fiercely protective of you.
  • Sometimes they fight over who gets to spend time with you. Usually ends up with Selina and Ivy arguing while Harley quietly sneaks you out the back.
  • Sometimes they let you tag along when they’re doing stuff in town. They’ll usually ask for your input as to how the night should go.
  • “I think we should rob a bank.” “Well, *loading gun*, I think that’s a great idea from y/n. Whattya say, Red? Selina?” 
  • You get weird stares from people when you go out in public, but you don’t care. You love your dysfunctional family, and they all love you.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

anonymous asked:

do you prefer to spend time together alone or you invite friends over and chill (or do crazy stuff)? If the latter, whom?

Draco: We don’t have set plans for each day, but we do end up meeting up with random bunches of our friends even during the week–

Harry: Nearly everyone’s always up for a drink after work–

Draco: Sometimes we do dinners–

Harry: But honestly, I love it when it’s just the two of us.

Draco: So do I, which is why we’ve been known to cancel quite shamelessly on people sometimes.

Harry: Or we just go out by ourselves.

Draco: Basically depends on what we feel like at the end of the day. If we both feel like going out, we go. If one or both of us feel like staying in, we stay in.

Harry: You’d be surprised at how little we fight over this stuff. We’re both rather easy going like that.

Not A French Mistake After All

Prompt: Imagine Sam and Dean existing on the same dimension as Jared and Jensen. They are sent to protect you. However, you work on the Supernatural set, which can lead to certain trouble considering the Winchesters and Jensen and Jared look the same.

 Word count: 2650-ish words. 

 A/N: As I said, it’s impossible for me to write short stuff so this will to be divided in parts. I wanted to make a French Mistake kinda thing but there are far too many of those out there, so I thought: what if they were all in the same dimension? And this happened. I hope you enjoy it. 

Pairings: None (yet!) 

 Characters: Sam, Dean, Charlie, Crowley, Kevin, Cas, Jared, Jensen, Misha, Mark, Felicia, Osric… For now. 

 Warnings: I think none.

 It was a cold, dark night. The moon was covered by grey clouds, a small drizzle was falling, wetting your hair. There was nobody out, except for you. Everyone was paranoid about certain events like cattle mutilations and some disappearances, but not you.

You weren’t just a fan of Supernatural, you worked at the set as a runner, you knew the whole cast and even were friends with them. Everyone from the cast and crew loved you. You were brave and smart, which kept you calm during these awful situations; otherwise, you would be locked on your panic room, thinking it was some kind of demon after you.

A thunder fell a few building away from you, scaring you.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It’s just the rain” you told yourself, easing your breath. You kept walking all the way to the alley you used as a shortcut to get to your department. It was a safe route, you knew it, therefore you weren’t expecting to find one of the missing people there, less to say four of them, all wearing creepy black eyes.

“There she is.” One of them said, you recognized him as the clerk from the store you bought your grocery from.

“Mr. Hoffman, what is going on? I thought you were missing.” You said, your voice came out trembling, you prayed this was just a nightmare.

“Mr. Hoffman isn’t here, child, but I bet you know it… Deep inside you.” His voice was no longer the warm one he used to welcome costumers to the store, it was now cold and breathy, like a snake.

In fact, you were very sure these people were demons, however, you didn’t want to believe it. If, by any chance, demons existed then there should also exist hunters and angels and….

A familiar roar filled your ears. It sounded just like Sam and Dean’s Impala, the one you had drove around set with Jared and Jensen just for fun. It also looked like it. The black car appeared behind you, in the avenue and two men who looked terrifyingly similar to Jared and Jensen went out of it, carrying rifles loaded with, you guessed, rock salt. They fired the demons, who immediately ran away, disappearing into the night. All of them ran away, except one who hit you on the head, trying to take you with him. You fell into the wet floor, falling into a deep dream where this was just a prank from Jared, Jensen and Misha.

“You okay, sweetheart?” The one who looked like Jensen asked. You had just woken up, in the backseat of a black Impala which smelled nothing like the one on set. It smelled of leather and whiskey, with a pint of cologne and sweat. You sat down and stared at the two men. The one that looked like Jensen seemed to be taller and more muscular than the actor, he had scars instead of the oh-so perfect Hollywood skin, and scruff growing evenly –unlike Jensen’s- and he had more freckles. The other man, he also had freckles and green eyes, his hair was shorter than Jared’s and broader shoulders. They looked more like brothers than Jared and Jensen did, however, they still had too many similarities not to confuse them on the street. ‘But they can’t be…’ You told yourself. Of course they couldn’t be, Sam and Dean Winchester were some fictional characters from Supernatural, and that was all. You pinched your arm, thinking it was a dream, but you didn’t wake up. ‘These motherchuckers are pulling a prank on me… Again.’ Your vision was blurry, which could justify why they looked slightly different from the actor you knew well.

“Jared, Jensen, this is not funny.” You argued, the men shared a glance and one of them, Jared, looked back at you while the other, Jensen, focused on the road.

“Excuse me?” Jared asked.

“Excuse me?” You mimicked, “C’mon Jared! I’m not a fool, you and Jensen have been trying to prank me since forever, but I won’t fall anymore. That’s what Misha’s for.” You crossed your arms over your chest, both men sighed tiredly.

“I swear I’m sick of those two…” The one driving whispered, and the other one agreed.

“We are not Jared and Jensen. Our names are Sam and Dean Winchester, like the ones from the show…” The one that looked like Jared explained.

“Knock it off, moose! My head aches and it’s your fault, isn’t it enough for you?” you were starting to get mad, however, your vision had been adjusting and you could tell for a fact that they did looked different somehow from Jared and Jensen.

“Look sweetheart, you don’t want to believe us? Fine! But you’re in danger and we’re taking you to a safe place, wether you like it or not!” The one that looked like Jensen growled, he was very pissed off but when was Dean Winchester not?

“Why don’t you call them? I mean Jared and… the other one.” The younger suggested, you nodded and looked around for your purse, which was right next to you, on what would be the floor of the car. You took your phone, which had the screen broken during the fight, and searched for Jared’s phone number, you dialled it.

“Hey, (Y/N/N), where are you? We thought you’d come to Jay’s party” Jared spoke, he sounded a little drunk. You had forgotten all about Jensen’s party to celebrate his new twin babies.

“Yeah, sorry er… Something got in the way.” You explained, the man that looked like Jared, Sam, was making you a sign not to tell them about… well, them.

“Is that (Y/N) you’re talking to?” You heard Jensen ask.

“Yeah, want to talk to…”

“Hey, (Y/N/N), why aren’t you here?” Jensen asked drunkenly.

“Sorry Jay, something’s in my shoe.” You said, remembering the code the Winchesters used. Dean gave you a death glare through the rear view mirror, but Jensen was too drunk to understand.

“Too bad, but we’re celebrating some other time, right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it. Twins are a big deal!” You tried to sound as cheerful as normally.

“Yaaay!” Jensen drunken-celebrated, you could see his idiotic moves in your mind.

“Let me talk to her!” Misha pleaded, he was ALSO drunk. ‘What is wrong with these guys?’

“Meesh wants to talk to you, see you tomorrow, love youuuuu.” You could hear both Jensen and Misha fighting over Jared’s phone.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Misha cheered childishly.

“Hey Meesh…”

“I miss you! Why aren’t you here? You promised we’d do the choreography you taught me!” Misha and you had been practicing it for months, it was some strange choreo you found online and, since Misha was up to doing weird stuff, you decided to show it to him.

“Maybe on some other time, love.” You sighed, not knowing when you would see them again.

“You better! I want to move it, move it,…” Misha sung, and the rest of the people at the party followed. They sounded all drunk, which you knew was too fun to watch. Sam urged you to hang up, and with all the pain in your heart, you obeyed.

“Meesh, put me on speaker.” You asked and Misha did, “Boys, I love you, I promise we’ll meet very soon, and we’ll celebrate Jenny’s twins and every other thing that happens. I have to go now, bye.” And with that, you hung your phone, holding back the tears.

“It WILL be soon, promise.” Sam spoke with his usual puppy eyes.

“Yeah, whatever, why am I here anyway?” You asked bitterly, putting your phone on your purse.

“We told you, you’re in danger.” Dean responded in the same bitter tone you used.

“Those were demons and they were trying to take you to this new leader that is rising, trying to take over hell and…” Sam tried to explain. “Why aren’t you surprised?” He asked, concerned for your lack of shock.

“I am surprised.” You answered. “It’s just… I don’t know, I guess I always believed that the show was more than just some TV crap… Only I figured it would be on another dimension, like ‘The French Mistake’…” you explained.

“The french what?” Dean asked with a frown.

“Mistake.” Sam repeated, looking at his brother. “It’s an episode from the show.”

“Oh, so now you watch it too. Awesome!” Dean bursted sarcastically and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Not now, Dean.” He pleaded, but Dean was far from over. The brothers started discussing about why it was bad for Sam to watch Supernatural but not for Dean to be all over Grey’s Anatomy, which gave you time enough to take everything in.

Sam and Dean Winchester in flesh and bone were sitting in the same car as you, in the same dimension as Jared and Jensen and you were in danger, supernatural danger. If anyone had told you this would happen eventually you would’ve thought they were crazy, but there you were at the back of the Impala listening to the Winchester boys have a normal brother argument.

Dean drove for other two miles before parking in front of an odd looking cabin in the middle of nowhere. A safe house, you guessed. He opened the Baby’s door for you and led you to the front door of the cabin which Sam knocked twice and then once and then thrice. Charlie opened the door.

“Hi! Do you have her?” She asked in her usual cheerful tone and Sam nodded, Dean pushed you lightly so you stepped forward. Charlie’s eyes roamed all over you, scanning every feature before her eyes landed on you (Y/E/C) ones. “Hi, I’m Charlie.”

“Hi… I’m… I’m sorry, aren’t you dead?” You asked, knowing it was not polite to ask those things, but you were too overwhelmed by her presence it was impossible not to ask. Sam and Dean rolled their eyes and Charlie gave you a warm smile.

“I was, yes. But I’m back! The TV show is quite belated.” She explained and pulled you inside the cabin, Sam and Dean followed, closing the door. You noticed Kevin and Cas were there as well.

The cabin was well illuminated which helped you noticed details like how Charlie’s eyes were actually brown and not blue like Felicia’s, or how Kevin’s hair was curly. Castiel’s vessel, Jimmy, was just like Misha except he had less crinkles and lighter blue eyes, almost platinum.

“I bet you know them all, sweetheart.” Dean said to your ear, he was standing right behind you and you could tell he was mocking you.

“Yup…” You replied with a sigh.

“So this is (Y/N) everyone, although you already know that.” Sam spoke and Dean walked towards a mini fridge that was at the other side of the room, taking two beers for him and Sam.

“Want one?” He asked and you shook your head in response. “Your loss.” He shrugged his shoulders and sat next to Kevin at a wooden table in the middle of the room. Cas was standing at the opposite corner, next to a tiny window.

“You may be wondering why we brought you here.” Kevin spoke and you nodded. “I bet these douchebags only told you the basics". 

 “Not so much the basics, they just told me I’m in danger.” You chuckled. Kevin and Charlie looked at the Winchesters in shock. 

 “YOU DIDN’T EXPLAIN?” Kevin shouted, Sam shrunk on his seat and Dean didn’t even wink. 

 “We figured you’d be better at it.” Dean simply said, taking a swing on his beer. 

 “Oh right, so just kidnap a poor girl and bring them to us! After all we are the only ones that know what’s up!” Charlie mocked sarcastically, she looked kind of angry. 

 “Look Charlie, want her to know? TELL HER! I already did my part.” Dean threw a fist on the table before leaning on the back of his chair, a big scary frown on his face. 

 “FINE!” Charlie bursted, you never thought you would ever see her angry. The red haired looked at you and gave you her best calming smile. “There’s a new leader in hell, for some reason he wants you, and he’s sending every demon that follows him to get you.” 

 “THAT’S WHAT WE TOLD HER!” Dean bursted, standing up and dropping the chair. 

 “Oh…” Charlie said, and then everyone proceeded to look at you. You felt uncomfortable, not knowing what to say or how to act.

 “Is… Is that it?” You stuttered. Dean rolled his eyes, Sam and Kevin sighed, Charlie bit her lip and Castiel just stood there with his usual squint. 

 “We know nothing more, if that’s what you expect.” Castiel spoke, his voice was way lower than Misha’s fake one. It gave you the creeps. 

 “Crowley is supposed to be here to tell us all he can, but that son of a bitch is…” Dean was suddenly interrupted. 

 “Late?” Crowley asked, appearing behind you. You turned around to face him; he was taller and skinnier than Mark. 

“Hi love, I’m Crowley, nice to meet you.” He extended a hand towards you, and you shook it. After that, Crowley looked over at Sam. “Moose, mind letting me free?” He asked, you look over to the roof where a pink devil’s trap was drawn. Sam stood up and scratch a corner with a knife. Crowley walked out and Sam proceeded to grab a pink spray paint can that was close to the door, he painted the scratch to make the trap useful once more. 

 “Pink?” You asked, trying not to laugh at how not-badass it looked.

 “It’s all they had in store.” Sam explained.

 “Unlike stores on tv, they don’t always have red paint.” Dean said. You rolled you eyes. 

“What’s with you tonight?” Kevin asked Dean. The hunter groaned.

“I’m tired, and I had to go save some damsel in distress who called me Jensen. Sue me!” Dean really seemed to be bothered about his actor doppelgänger. Everyone except Cas and you laughed. 

 “Oh, poor Dean is hurt.” Kevin chanted.

 “Do you want to be the one on TV, Dean-o?” Charlie asked with a pout, laughingly. 

 “We promise, you are hotter than that actor… Although he has a prettier skin.” Crowley said in the most sassy way possible. 

 “KNOCK IT OFF!” Dean shouted and everyone got quiet. He gave you a death glare and walked over to a door at the back of the cabin, entering it and shuting it loudly. 

“Party-pooper.” Crowley whispered, Charlie, Kevin and Sam agreed with a giggle. 

 “He doesn’t like the tv program. He says it’s humiliating.” Cas observed. Sam cleared his throat and focused on Crowley.

 “So, what do you got?” 

 “It’s definetly bigger than we expected…” The demon started, “Turns out the lady here is a re-incarnation of a goddess who just so happens to be our bad guy’s bride.” Crowley informed, throwing an arm around your shoulders. Unlike whenever Mark did the same, Crowley felt cold, numb… Somehow dead. 

 “His bride?” You shuddered, saying it out loud was a lot worse than hearing Crowley say it, far worse than you expected. The king of hell nodded and your mind started spinning, the sudden realization of how big this was. Not only were Sam, Dean, Charlie, Kevin, Cas and Crowley real, but the fact that you were in danger was to much to handle. Your head started spinning faster and faster, you felt your heart on your brain and your brain on your stomach, you had nausea and possibly a fever, everything was so overwhelming.

Lights went out. Your head hit the floor so heard it left a huge bruise, but you were unconscious so didn’t notice.

—————————————————————————–

Soooo I hope you liked it, I’m planning on doing a few more parts, depending on how many people read it.

Now for the important question. As a Dean girl, I thought of doing this a Dean fic, (in fact I even announced this as a Dean thing) however I already have one . So I figured it would be the best if YOU, yes YOU, picked who you want me to pair Reader with or if you don’t want it to be a pairing thing. Either way, remember requests are always open so feel free to ask here if you want me to write anything in particular.

Thank you so much for reading this, and double thank you if you read up ‘till here. Love you loads, I promise I’ll update more often. xoxo

Because love is not perfect, it doesn’t happen over night. When two people are in love they fight, with eachother and for eachother. They will always put eachother first and defend the other. Love is not not flawless, it is loving the flaws. ( - submitted by bimbiddybom )

Why do you love Swan Queen?

anonymous asked:

Gf advice anon: She doesn't guilt trip me often, only after like big fights and stuff. Most times when I'm mad at her because of something she said, she tries to play it off like it's nothing and says stuff like 'it's just a joke' and tells me that I need to get over it, even when I've asked her to stop doing that kind of stuff. As for guilt tripping me, whenever we've had a fight she always tries to make up, saying she loves me and being all nice and stuff

Okay so, I’m going to start this by saying what I always say when people ask for advice. Do what feels right in your heart. Only you know the whole story, This is just my opinion.

So I just want to say that if she’s guilt tripping you at all, that’s not good. Guilting is a super manipulative thing. Obviously, manipulation isn’t something part of a healthy relationship. Red flag #1. Also, If she’s really getting angry at you just for calling her out on her bullshit, or because you were talking to a friend, that’s also no good. Red flag #2. And if she’s writing off your feelings and, instead of owning up to her mistakes, saying what she said was just a joke or(even worse) telling you to get over it, that’s bad!! Red flag #3. She should be able to to be a grown up and apologize for her mistakes instead of swatting away how you feel. I know this can be pretty hard to hear, especially if you feel like you really like this person, but I don’t think you should stay with this person. This doesn’t feel like this is at all a healthy relationship you’re in. That’s just how I feel.
I’m sorry this post is so long, but I hope that you can get something from all this. I hope it helps. I hope everything works out and, if you need anything else, just ask.

Someone said today they’re sick of gay people putting the rainbow everywhere because adidas have launched the LGBT+ edition clothing and they havnt dont a ‘straight line’. She said no one will accept gay people so why do gays have march’s and stuff when they’ve been given equal marriage. They say the fight is over people don’t and wont accept gay people that we should ‘just get over it, dont see people having a ‘straight pride. I explained to her we dont march to make people like us. We march to show homage to our fallen brothers and sisters who died fighting for our rights as HUMANS, for us to be able to hold the hand of the person we love in the street without abuse, to marry the person we love, to be parents. Straight people dont have to worry about that. We march to celebrate who we are, who we love and how far we’ve come as a community standing strong and still fighting to be treated equally and that no matter how much the hateful homophobic world tries keeps us down, We are a strong community, we stand together and we wont be put down and boxed away because people don’t like the way we are born or what hate their god has told them. Then she had the nerve to say homophobia doesn’t exist anymore… I gave her countless examples of homophobia happening now, Orlando Pulse , Russian torturing and killing suspected LGBHT+ people… Men, women even kids all over the world are being KILLED BECAUSE THEY’RE GAY. Then I showed her this picture of myself from last year, having my jaw dislocated cause someone in family who i have nothing to do with found out I’m gay, they followed me dragged me to the ground out of sight punched me and dislocated my jaw and stamped on me and cracked my gum then called me a 'disgusting faggot’. So believe me homophobia a real. Straight people can walk down the street without prejudice, without slurs, go where they want and feel safe. They can go in a bar have a drink with the person you like/love without being starred at or refused entry, or being verbally abuse or even being asked to leave and sometimes physically removed. THATS WHY WE MARCH AT PRIDE EVENTS, WEAR RAINBOWS ON SHIRTS, PUT FLAGS IN WINDOWS . This isn’t straight-phobia. Its there to show gay people are welcome here, we support you, we love you, you’re equal to us. Thats why you see that, you don’t see a sign outside a shop that says straight people are welcome here, this is a safe place because they’ve never needed to worry about it things like that happening. This fight wont be over for a long time and we will keep fighting to be treated EQUALLY. Not to rub out sexuality is peoples face. We are ALL EQUAL WE’RE ALL HUMAN IM GAY AND IM FUCKING PROUD OF IT AND I WILL FIGHT FOR MY RIGHTS AND THE RIGHTS OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! ❤️💛💚💙💜

Sophie Mercer

WE STAND TOGETHER! @jessapriltyler, @lucyelizabeth, @allyhills, @britlively, @blissbot10, @baddvibee, @dsauce2, @ellosteph, @forgettingneverland, @freeyamindd, @flannelssnapbacksandvans, @girlswholikegirls, @girlslookingforgirls, @gaylyonthedaily, @girlslikegirls-thatsnothingnew, @gayprill, @hello-emilyyy, @itswhateverdoeee, @itswhateverbraaaah, @jayspence12, @justbreathe-03, @kaeandlucy, @krystenleighh, @love-drugs-freedom, @makeitad0uble, @now-this-is-living, @notoriouslye, @neon-ghxsts, @oncemorebefore, @ourandrogynouslife, @pchcrew, @punk0ff, @rxdical-visions, @rachelaldridge, @stevieboebi, @sheathegay, @slowmoliving, @societyfucksusup, @soshesawildflowerxo, @the-2nd-star-to-the-right, @tiidezzandsunsetss, @uklesbians, @vivivision, @wayitusedtobe, @whatwegandidnext, @wotwotlesbian, @xochaton, @youknow-me-not-my-story

anonymous asked:

I feel like dnp are being so much more affectionate to each other recently and are dropping lots of hints that they're together. After being together for 7 years and seeing how much of a power couple they are I don't believe they will ever breakup and I think they believe that too. So with that in mind do you think they're keeping their relationship hidden for the sake of their careers rather than privacy reasons?? Interested of hearing your thoughts! Love your blog btw xxx

i think both, and maybe even more. i believe remaining ambiguous is advantageous for them professionally in many ways. coming out always bears the risk of their content or their role as legitimate entertainers being overshadowed by their audience’s investment in their relationship. you could argue that that’s already the case (that there’s a significant portion of their audience that follows them due to an interest in their potential relationship more than their videos) but with the ambiguity that they currently have, they don’t really have people demanding for them to make content that is centered on their relationship alone. and also i’d argue that actually wayyyy more people follow dnp for their content than for their private matters just judging on view counts on certain videos in comparison to others, and the sheer number of people in their comments that are very certain that they are just friends and genuinely shocked/appalled that anyone could view them as more. i also think that coming out might put weight on them to take on a more proactive role as spokespeople for the lgbtq community that they might not want, and that again might overshadow their creative content. it might hinder their chances of being hired as a duo by corporations that wouldn’t want to deal w the attention and news of hiring a homosexual couple to host their events. which is obviously upsetting and a bit gross, but also, just the reality of how the world works right now. in short, i genuinely believe that if they were out it would undermine many people’s perception of the content they make and cause many people to take them a lot less seriously, especially as a duo. 

personally, i also feel it continues to be good for them to remain ambiguous because it dissuades questioning and attention placed on their private affairs. we all know all of the stories of youtube couples whose relationships crumbled under the weight of public scrutiny and the consequences of oversharing. while dnp have dealt w this private-public balance for seven years and therefore would probably be a lot better equipped to handle that pressure than most of these other couples, i do think that their relationship remains the most important thing in their lives and so,, it’s probably just not worth the risk that all of that extra attention might pose. i just can envision a universe in which they were out and instead of comments being like “are they dating” “no” “probably not” “ugh i hate shippers” (which, lbr, are annoying in their own right), we’d have comment sections full of 

  • “OMG KISS ON CAMERAAAA!!!” 
  • “guys they’re not comfortable w pda leave them alone” 
  • “OMG THEY NEVER KISS THEYRE PROBABLY NOT EVEN IN LOVE” 
  • “ugh i hate these pervy people who just want dnp to do gay stuff for them instead of focusing on the content” 
  • “okay phil, so when are you proposing??? ??”  
  • “PHIL! ! ! YOURE SO OLD OM G HOLY SHIT UR OVER 30 ISNT THAT WHEN EVERYONE GETS MARRIED? U HAVE TO PROPOSE!!” 
  • “guys, do you think bc they arent married, theyre not actually in love??” 
  • “omg dan rolled his eyes in this video while phil was talking do u think they’re fighting?!?! i always thought phil could do better anyway ugh” 
  • “why haven’t they made the boyfriend tag, they might be fighting omg” 
  • “MAKE THE BOYFRIEND TAG” 
  • “MAKE THE CHAPSTICK CHALLENGE”
  • “MAKE A BEDROOM TOUR”

wow a 30-second thought exercise and i already want to die from a cringe attack. you get my point. 

edit: want to add a couple more potential comments bc i didn’t even go down the route of future-y things and the gross heteronormative assumptions about their relationship that might be directed at them, but how about “omg dnp when r u guys getting a baby” “omg dan is SOOOO obviously the GIRL in the relationship ha ha ha”  vom. 

Captain America: The Winter Soldier: grimdark is lazy, good is hard work and Jewish American superheroes

First I know nothing about Marvel comics: all my context I got from the films Thor (delightful) and Avengers Assemble (remember very little except it had good jokes and the final action scene was too long), and reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.

I went to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier last night because of this which I saw a few people reblog:

(okay and also all the gifsets of Sebastian Stan crying. I WAS MIS-SOLD ON THIS FOR THE RECORD, THERE IS LITTLE TO NO CRYING AND ALSO HIS HAIR IS AWFUL.)

If Kavalier and Clay taught me anything it’s threesomes are the best solutions to love triangles Jewish-American cartoonists in the 1930s and early ‘40s were all over inventing subversively American heroes to fight Hitler, and I was very unsurprised when I got home and looked it up to learn that Captain America was created by two Jewish guys too. (I know this is really basic comics history stuff and I’m sure fifty people have written dissertations on “He’s A Mensch: The Jewish Identities of Captain America and Superman” or whatever.) What really slotted everything into place was realising that Captain America was created and entered on a cover punching Hitler in the face before America had entered the war.

Basically (right?) Captain America was created by two Jewish-Americans to shame the US into properly fighting Hitler.

Like, I am Captain America, the America you say you want to be, and I challenge you to put your money where your mouth is and actually do something about it. And yes he’s over-the-top and tacky but that’s where the challenge is, right? The chest-thumping American patriotism says “We are good and spread liberty! And also freedom!” and Captain America is like “great! I am that, and I have to point out you are not actually doing that”.

AND I think this is Jewishly on purpose, and here’s why:

Judaism has this important phrase/concept/slogan/life motto from the third-century-ish text Pirkei Avot, which goes: Lo alecha hamlacha ligmor (it’s not to you to complete the work of repairing the world) v'lo atah ben chorin l'hivatel mimena (but neither may you desist from it). You won’t be able to fix the world by yourself, or in your lifetime, but that doesn’t absolve you of responsibility to work towards it.

I feel like grimdark/anti-heroes are a response to the fact that the world is neither good nor moral, like “well if the world isn’t like that, I won’t be either”. But they’re also excuses for not working towards fixing the world: I won’t bother because it’s all fucked anyway. Lo alecha and Captain America say, yes, it is fucked, but you still have to work towards fixing it. And yes, it’s hard, that’s why it’s called work.

Which is why I think saying “Oh, if Captain America represents the US he should be a dick, because the US is a dick” or “Captain America is an imperialist symbol of US superiority and is therefore bad” are both off base and a dodge of having to do that hard work.  

“If Cap = America then Cap = dick because America = dick” is basically just throwing hands up and going “right but guys have you noticed that actually America is imperialist and horrible? DO YOU SEE?!” and implying “so what can you do about that, right?”. Captain America says, “Try to make it better! is what you can do!”

And about saying he’s a symbol of US imperial superiority, I mean, he is a symbol of America but aimed as a criticism at real America.  He’s the American ideal cranked up to five million - for the purpose of shaming America for not living up to what it says it wants to be. And he is aimed at Americans, so I can see a criticism for him being US-centric in that metanarrative sense, but he’s yelling at America to sort their shit out and I think him yelling at non-USAmericans to sort their shit out would be much worse? But I definitely don’t think Cap is supposed to be about how great America is, he’s about pointing out exactly in what ways and how much America is failing to be great. And then saying “but, that doesn’t mean you get out of trying harder!”

Also, how great is it that his 'weapon’ is a shield.

so um that’s what I thought about when I saw The Winter Solder last night. that and biceps.

Our hearts are breakable, and our eyes are for sale

I’ve seen a lot of different responses to the news that Tyler Hoechlin isn’t going to be a series regular in s5 of Teen Wolf. As you’d expect, they range from those who are pleased for him and glad he’s moved on, to those who are devastated and angry. 

All of those responses are legitimate, and not really what I want to focus on here. But they have spurred me on to talk about something I’ve been meaning to discuss for a while.

It’s as simple and complicated as this: we cannot trust the media. And I don’t just mean the news media, or PR, or “reality” TV, but our dramas like Teen Wolf too.

With the rise of global media companies, like Viacom (who owns MTV), there has also been a rise in unethical practices on their part, in my opinion, and that includes their obvious contempt for the idea of the reader/writer contract. What I mean by that is that storytelling is secondary to moneymaking for these companies. Shows like Teen Wolf are advertising vehicles first and foremost, rather than a commercialised form of storytelling. When you look at the way such companies treat these brands it’s very clear that the audience are just the chumps they are targetting the advertising at, not the clients they are selling the story to. The clients are the advertisers. The audience are just eyeballs to sell things to.

This plays out in a lot of different ways. It plays out in shows being cancelled because they have the wrong demographic audience (middle-aged women, for instance), or in the decision to no-homo the storyline, or to take a plot in a certain direction, or fan favourites being written off the show and replaced by more advertising-friendly characters.

The point I’m making here is that as fans, we tend to give these shows our hearts. But these shows are businesses run by people who think our hearts are worthless. They think our hearts are contemptible, and merely to be exploited, so they can convince us to buy their product(s). In fact, if we’re women or trans, queer, over 30, and/or people of colour, they will tend to think even our money is worthless (as they take it and take it and take it and tell us we’re not consuming enough of their stuff, and ping us with copyright take-down notices on our fan works).

It took me a long time to learn this lesson. In part, because there are writers working on these shows who care about the story, and work hard to make it good. So it’s easy to be lulled into thinking that their vision will end up on the screen. We talk a lot about that – about how the writers are not beholden to us, and get to write what they want. While that’s a good sentiment, in practice it’s often used as a way of shaming fans for wanting things in the shows – it’s a way of breaking the reader/writer contract without the showrunners looking like assholes to the mainstream.

A lot of the time, it’s not even true. The writers don’t get to write what they want without restriction. Writers are given “notes” on things to change, and told to go in particular directions with the plot, or write in particular characters or products. Sometimes this can work well. And sometimes, it ends up with Jeff Davis saying, all shiny eyed, that Teen Wolf is set in a post-homophobic world, and courting the queer-friendly media, and then going quiet about that, and then lying more and more about what the show is about and talking about inane shit no-one cares about, because he’s already been told to shut the queer stuff down but can’t publicly say that if he wants to keep his job. (No, I don’t have inside information on that, but given how this has played out, that’s how it looks to me.) 

Meanwhile, the fans are ridiculed for remembering those promises made at the beginning. In fact, they have to be ridiculed, because otherwise they company would have to admit they are in breach of contract – they made a promise to the audience through plot build and foreshadowing and interviews, and then reneged. Ridiculing the audience is the only way to make themselves look okay, for a little while, anyway, until the audience gets sick of it.

This is how decent people, idealistic people, end up corrupted by the Hollywood machine. A “note” here about there being too much queer, and a dozen “notes” there about California tax breaks, and please have everyone drive Toyotas, and hey, the lead actor is now an Executive Producer, so pay attention to his suggestions too. Throw in some ego, and Davis and/or Posey getting a bit carried away with thinking they’re making Art, and that maybe that excuses a few compromises along the way – because Art for Art’s sake, don’t you know.

That’s how it happens.

Even on the best shows there’s some of this, from what I know of the industry, it just isn’t quite as toxic as it has been with Teen Wolf in the last year or so. I suspect Teen Wolf’s unexpected success meant it got hijacked by people with dollar signs in their eyes around S3, and over time Davis seems to have lost his fight to get his homophobia-free world as a result.

And because fans love earnestly and too well, we end up being the patsies with broken hearts as this kind of stuff plays out in its more toxic variations.

I’ve had my heart broken so many times by shows going through this now that my antenna are finely tuned so that I nearly always know when the moment comes to step away.  I can tell the show is going to do me harm if I don’t. I can still watch the show, but not in “fan” mode, because it leaves me too vulnerable.

For me, that alarm went off with Teen Wolf in the second-half of the S4 finale. As I said in my meta at the time, the show overtly broke its textual promises in the finale, and I no longer trusted it to pay off the larger themes that had been building. I’ve been stepping back since then, out of self-protection. That’s why I’ve been irritated, but not particularly surprised or upset by the announcement about Hoechlin. I was expecting something like this to happen.

Having been such a prolific meta writer, I feel a responsibility to tell people why I’ve been stepping back. To make it clear: it’s because I no longer trust the show to keep its promises. I’m not the eyeballs MTV’s advertising department are looking for, and I expect them to treat me with contempt as a result.

For me, it’s time to take another step back and let go a bit more. And if I’m wrong… I could be… then the show will have its chance to win my trust back and make me love it again. Supernatural has almost managed that recently (it’s still a work in progress), so who knows. It could happen.

Until then, I’m taking my heart back.

2

so, this fucking happened today. i have never in my entire life met someone so unbelievably humble and grounded; someone as talented, or beautiful, or perfect. his laugh and his smile and his eyes and his jawline are even more impressive i person, lemme tell you. that man smiles and i could curl up in his fucking dimples. 

i caught the 7am train into nyc after not sleeping bc of the sheer adrenaline, stood in the pouring rain with deanambroseofficial for over three hours, our boots filling up with rainwater and trying desperately not to look like drowned cats in our dorky little ponchos, and it was so, so worth it.

i haven’t told this story before but i feel like now that i’ve told dean himself, i’m ready to talk about it perhaps a bit more publicly. when i was 17, i was diagnosed with a heart condition, generalized anxiety, and depersonalization. all are very treatable, but it meant that for an indefinite amount of time, i couldn’t kickbox. and anyone who knows me knows that kickboxing is/was my entire fucking life. it gets me outta bed in the morning, and it gets me into bed sore, bruised, and happy at night. and all of sudden, it was gone while i went through treatment. 

eventually, losing kickboxing pushed me into a severe, severe depression. it was the only thing i had, the only thing i was crazy passionate about. i couldn’t get in the ring, i couldn’t step on the mat, i couldn’t do anything that i enjoyed; hell, most days i couldn’t even leave my house. so on those days when i couldn’t leave or when i was in the hospital, i watched kickboxing videos and indie wrestling videos. five years ago, i was sitting in a hospital hooked up to an ekg machine surfing youtube when a video popped up in a search– ’unbreakable jon moxley pre-match’. 

i watched it and a few things happened at once. 1.) i was entertained bc i mean, dean ambrose is a fucking gift to the wrestling world; 2.) i forgot i was in a hospital bed surrounded by beeping machinery and loaded up on anti-anxiety medications and anti-depressants; 3.) i felt alive and i felt like myself again for the first time in the year since my diagnoses. i started to remember who i was, what i was, how passionate i used to be, how spontaneous and fun i used to be before those diseases ruined my fucking life. 

after watching that video, and the dozens i marathon-ed that same day, i changed. something about him– his passion, his talent, his determination– sparked something in me. for the first time since my diagnosis, i started making progress. i started kinda clawing my way outta that dark place i let myself slip into and i swore i was going to get back into that ring and back onto that mat if it killed me. and soon, i will be.

it’s been five years since i first watched that video and i never imagined i’d have the opportunity to stand in front of him and thank him but today, i did. i walked right up to him and had him sign a screenshot of that same hwa video, which he did gratefully and he listened to my story and let me thank him and when i handed him a little thank you note, he smiled and stuck it in his pocket. we took these pictures and after, he practically whispered in my ear that he was happy i was better and that he was proud of me for getting back into my training. (he was sO CLOSE i almost passed out– his eyes are beautiful and i cannot get over his fucking jawline.) but goddamn, he said he was proud and i haven’t been able to say that part out loud bc i got home and just started sobbing bc that meant so. fucking. much.

but man, he is truthfully one of, if not the, most down to earth person i’ve ever met. he has this calming presence about him that i can’t really explain but i know i can’t be the only person to notice that today. sure, i almost lost my mind but he’s just such a warm person and he smells so nice and he’s so kind. 

if anyone ever tries to say that dean ambrose is anything but a wonderful, humble, calming, kind individual, i will personally fight them because he is a fucking gift and he deserves the entire world.

Spreading Positivity

Sometimes the Markiplite community can be the kindest, most loving group of people I know. Other times, it can be one of the most lethal.

Today, as soon as I logged on, I was very disappointed to see some of the same old arguments with the same old insults and the same old drama. If there’s one thing I hate more than people I love fighting against each other, it’s Markiplites I love fighting against each other.

I want to bring positivity back into the tag―actually, I want to take it over. When people (Mark included) scroll through the tag today, I want it to be filled with gifs, fan art, and Warfstache selfies, all accompanied by a positive story. The story can be anything, real or fictitious, about you or about someone else; it can be short or long, whatever you prefer. Just something that puts a smile on your face.

Today was just an ordinary day, until someone decided to shroud it with negativity. Let’s change that. Post your stuff and tag it with #markiplier and #warfstakeover.

We have the power to make someone smile today, so let’s use it.

Guys...

I’m worried about this community. I’m worried about all the hate and trolling that’s happening. That’s not what this community is supposed to be promoting. We are suppose to promote love and care, yet we’re too busy fighting about stupid stuff like what flannel shirt Mark looks good in and trying to get recognition from Mark. He’s one guy. He isn’t going to look at every piece of art, every blog, and every fanfic that we make for him.
I love Mark, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help but feel that when Mark gets on tumblr, he’s blinded by the “fake” care and support that people are throwing all over the community. What I want to know is, have we forgotten what Mark’s goal is for us? He wants his fans to love each other, care and help each other yet we have victimized the weaker blogs, whether art or some other thing, to the point where some are thinking about deadly things. I was victimized, and out of the millions of blogs I was chosen out them for a drawing that I worked hard on and a name I thought was my own original piece. Twice people! I have been victimized twice. I only have a few good friends on here (they know who they are because they are my followers), and they stood by me when all of this happened.

I want to review what Mark’s shirt sleeve says. “Markiplier’s Heroes.” Hmm interesting. That means we stand for the abused, hurt, wounded, unloved, lost, abandoned, forgotten, and bullied. We are to protect them, not make them want to end their lives when a simple hate message or a nasty reblog message cuts them emotionally and psychologically. I’m not trying to piss anybody off, but this whole “Mark notice me! Senpai! Omg! Kill the weaker blog! We’ll be savages, barely even humans to them and make them rethink that art/fanfiction/post that they made about Mark to the point of no return!” I… I love this community, but this whole war between each other is going to divide us even further. Perhaps I’m wrong… And I hope I am… But the more fights I see, the more I see Mark being blinded by the fact that the big artists and the big blogs are trying to get his attention and bring down those of us who are a bit smaller than them. Please guys.. Let my words digest a bit and sink into your minds…

I don’t think that it’s a marriage-ending argument. It feels very TV for people’s marriages to end over easy things or hard things. I actually would like to watch a couple have a hard time in their marriage, and have it not be that that means their marriage is over. There’s something really great about watching a couple have a mature marriage where stuff goes wrong, things are hard, and people try to push through it and figure it out. When we left them, they were fighting. When we come back, they’re still fighting. I like that they’re having this argument. It feels like an argument that two hard-working people have who love each other and who each have powerful careers.
—  Shonda Rhimes EW
What are your basis in following blogs?

An Anon asked me this but i can’t seem to post my reply, maybe it’s another Tumblr glitch. So i opted to answer through this.

To be honest, i follow any kinds of blog as long as it’s ENTERTAINING. Whether it’s a photo blog, a fashion blog, a blog with lots of make-up haul and stuff, a blog with prose and well-written thoughts or a personal one at that. I do find personal blogs quite endearing though. Maybe because the bloggers are just being who they really are, so that kind of fascinates me—content wise. I rarely follow blogs which are fond of reblogs to be honest. Albeit, i’m a huge fan of personal blogs, as expected, there will always be pros and cons. Since they tend to be more personal, you can’t get away with their daily life dramas either. That’s pretty much understandable. I often post some unnecessary dramas in my blog as well. But one can be annoying as it goes, and that’s the time i have to rethink whether the blogger is still worth following or not. Of course when you guys seemed to build a certain relationship that’s when things get a littoool tough. This seems true in most people, right? There are times i have to reconsider because of the friendship, maybe the blogger will turn around or something and gladly, most never disappoint me. Hehe. But still there were some whom i unfollowed for real because i feel like the environment became more toxic than ever.

I unfollow certain bloggers because of one thing though when they become TOXIC = OA with all of their blog posts. Reasons as follows;

1) When the drama gets a littoool too depressing. You know for someone who rants and put out her daily rages you might be thinking that i am not in the position to say such BUT there are times when the drama seems to become irritating than the usual rants. It’s not because i don’t understand them sometimes it feels like… how should i say this, too negative for me to hang around. You know what they say, your environment shows half the kind of person you are. So when you stick with a negative environment, the environment eventually becomes you. What gets into my nerves is the fact that they don’t do anything about the negativity either. I mean, yeah sure i rant and post my dramas here but at least i do or at least tried to do something about it. To elevate myself from the current shit hole i am in. The first 5-10 posts are fine, but more than that—geez, that’s pretty alarming. Don’t you think so? What i don’t get by the way it’s when they get too depress about a thing but doesn’t do much about it either or worst, when they expect others could save them from their miseries. Those are the pretty fxcked up ones, i reckon. Are you getting me? And then they would complain how others only choose to see the beautiful ones. Some will fall in love with your darkness, the monsters inside us does a pretty good job reeling others. But that’s the thing, people will fall in love with your darkness, but when the darkness seemed to consume the light the other person has, it gets pretty tiring too. That’s why people give up. That’s why relationships fail. That’s why i don’t get why would you complain if others seem not to understand what you’re going through or choose to look the other way around. It is tough you know… it’s tough to make others see the kind of beaut you are when you can’t even recognize your own light. You always expect others to save you—why can’t you save yourself then? Getting sad and depress is one thing, but not doing anything about what makes you sad and depress is another. That’s attention seeking. That’s you calling and asking for a validation from other people, and from what i know—that’s the loneliest thing a human can ever be. It’s tiring and it’s dragging. Unless you come to your senses and wake up from your senseless dream, and you do something about your problems and your miseries that’s when you become desirable. And those are the kinds of people i aspire to be, the ones who fight and deal his/her battles in every possible way s/he knows how. Who always strive for progress.

2) Overdoing the love stuff. As much as i enjoy seeing couples on my dash introducing their significant others to the whole Tumblrverse, there are times when the introduction seems way too over the top. Like in a pretty bad annoyingly way. Don’t get me wrong, like i said i enjoy couples who express their love for one another, it makes me want to dream of a relationship i want to have in the near future but circumstances doesn’t always favor the love bone. What irks me most is when either the guy or the girl make a shoutout to his/her person and the other would reply and then another reply and another reply until the post became an ANNOYING THREAD to most of us bloggers. Wherein you could do the other thing, what’s the use of Tumblr’s messaging app if these two idiots chose to chat and ask how their day went by, through a long thread. C'mon! Seriously? Hehe. And most people who does these things are from the age group 17-21. Hindi ko naman nilalahat but mostly. Truth be told, i just unfollowed these two bloggers who recently got together (i think) but seemed to be overdoing everything. Tip though, if you want your relationship to become more sturdy try not to post everything on your social media accounts. Privacy still matters. Well for me, at least. Same goes with random friendship threads, i mean guys you can talk through your GCs and give personal messages why bother creating such a long and irritating thread. It doesn’t make sense to me, to be honest.

But then again, i am not speaking for anybody or anyone else’s. These are my preference, personal preference. It’s not necessarily true or the same with everyone on Tumblrverse. There you go Anon. I hope this post helps or answers your question. Happy weekend!

Toby Regbo Appreciation Week: Day One

Why do you like Toby? or When did you become a fan?

Who knew that two simple questions would prove so difficult to answer?

I suppose the “when” should be the easiest one to respond to. After all, there was a moment when I certainly became aware of his existence, but at what point exactly did I become a fan? Like millions of others, I caught a two-second glimpse of him as the young Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, but suffice to say, that grainy, fleeting black-and-white image of him failed to leave much of an impression—at least on me

I mean, one split-second glance down at your popcorn and you risked missing it entirely.

I suppose the next time I saw him would have been his brief turn as one of Romola Garai’s obnoxious, fuckwit teenage brothers in the film One Day, but once again, nothing about him stood out to me. To be fair, how could it? He had about three lines and his character’s sole purpose onscreen was to act like an immature dick.

But while it may be difficult for me to remember the first moment I saw him, I am 100% certain about the moment I first became aware of him:

When I became a fan is a little harder to pinpoint. It’s kind of like trying to recall the moment that you learned to read, or when exactly you fell asleep the night before: you can clearly remember that there was a time before and a time after, but the in-between is a whole lot murkier. I’m fairly certain, however, that the moment fell somewhere between here

and here

Yes, yes.  We all know he’s a very pretty boy. He’s also uncommonly good at what he does, in case the pain in his eyes in that last pic was not clue enough. Toby is the kind of actor whose career you can get excited about, because you can see all the potential and talent just churning within him that has yet to be tapped or realized. To be a fan of Toby right now, at this moment in his career, is to exist in a state of anticipation. Is he talented? Obviously. Has he already given some powerful performances? Of course. And yet there is never a moment when you aren’t aware that everything you have ever seen him do up until now has been nothing more than a state of chrysalis, and that incredible, fantastic things wait in store for him.

But there are lots of fine actors out there, and many of them are also more than reasonably good looking. Those things may be what catch your attention when it comes to Toby, but I can almost guarantee that they won’t be what keeps it.

So why do I like Toby Regbo?

Jesus, how can you not?

I could tell you about how funny he is, or how warm or how engaging, but you would be better off simply going and watching one his interviews for yourself. Between his priceless facial expressions  

tendency to giggle

and general awkward posture and fidgeting

I can all but guarantee that he will at least make you smile.

If asked what I like the most about him, I honestly wouldn’t even know where to start. I love his curiosity, and how obvious it is that he is a voracious reader. I love that he gets excited over the most bizarre, random stuff, and how eager he is to make his mother proud. I love that when people ask him about the fandom name Regboners, he looks equal parts embarrassed and prepared to fight anyone who gives him shit about it. I love that his face can register 137 different emotions in a span of one conversation, and I love how everything he tweets has a 75% chance of being deleted within 7 seconds because he suffers some rare blend of grammar-and-semantics anxiety that renders the difference between its and it’s into something rather panic-inducing. I also really enjoy how he puts his quirks out there, which means that, in the unlikely event that our paths ever cross, I will never have to worry about acting weird, or saying something weird, or doing something weird, because he’ll totally have that covered. 

But most of all, I love how this adorable human puppy with the best head of bouffant blonde hair this side of Dolly Parton in 9-to-5 spreads sunshine wherever he goes. Just watch the people around him.

Or better yet, watch him and experience it for yourself. :)

coffeeandpajamas  asked:

please, for the character thing: Rin Matsuoka! (Original, I know) oh and if you have multiple, I'm a slut for headcannons.

Reen

Originally posted by rouresu

do i like them: rin is possibly my second fav (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

2 good qualities:
1.] his commitment to things and the drive with which he carries them out is pretty admirable
2.] HE’S. SO. SMART. BUT. BARELY. ANYONE. EVER. TALKS ABOUT IT.

2 bad qualities:
1.] “yo, homeboy looks like shark week. i ain’t messin with that.” nah jk he’s cute
2.] can be an asshole sometimes tho. like tbh wasn’t a huge fan of him first season. i get his deal and it’s understandable but…my god…talk about sulk monster.

favorite episode/etc: the australia episode. he was a sweetheart and we got to see his puppy. and his host family told embarrassing stories about his youth. and did i mention he was a sweetheart. also i can’t remember if it was that episode or the episode after, but he brings momo a goddamn boomerang and if that isn’t a sign of a Thoughtful Captain™ idk what is.

otp: a terrible tie between rin x haru and rin x sousuke

brotp: rin x sousuke, rin x aii

ot3: rin x makoto x haru

notp: i don’t really have a big notp for rin. i guess i’d say that i really enjoy the rin x aii senpai/kouhai relationship, but i get a little squicked when i see actual sexual stuff with them. I don’t know why.

best quote: probably his huge dramatic monologue after rei-bans gets hit during the water gun fight in the OVA. he’s such a goob.

what an idiot i love him so much

headcanon: rin tries to act all cool around people but he’s actually (as stated above) a total goob. he nerds out over things like card games and then pretends like he’s not interested if someone brings it up. but sousuke’s known him forever and can see straight through that nonchalant look and at the complete nerd standing in front of everyone.

character game! ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ  

Thankful Look in the Rearview Mirror

I don’t really know what to say as far as the quality or the growth of 2013. I feel a bit blind to my own life in a lot of regards.

But one thing I’m not blind to, at least not as blind to, is the people and moments and things that I was really blessed with and that tangibly added to my joy and my faith throughout the last year. This list is incomplete and not exhaustive, so please do not take offense or read too much into it.

  1. I am thankful for Haley. I don’t know why she continues to stay around as my friend because I sure wouldn’t with the way I’ve abused it. For a year now, she’s listened to me whine and complain and theorize and overthink and generally disagree with every single thing she tells me (hint: i’m just trying to get you to convince me past my own fears). Still, she stuck around. She asks me for advice or my thoughts on things like advice anons or the male perspective, she compliments my talents and skills, she points me back to the cross and her heart breaks for my broken heart. What a rare find.
  2. I’m thankful for Lesley and Cody (and Matt). I was fortunate enough to spend a week with these kids in Ohio, and I wish I would have devoted myself more to time with both of them because they stuck around and still considered me worth knowing and loving when nobody else did. Then I got to see Lesley again, and meet Matt for the first time (cuddling included) on a spontaneous road trip. I’m glad they’re still my friends even after my Huskers handed them their first home loss since 2010 :) I hope I can hold onto these three forever.
  3. I’m thankful  for online friendships becoming real. By my count last night, in 2013 I have met 33 people in real life that I started relationships with through tumblr. Some of those relationships have ended and been fractured, but the ones that matter still exist and to be able to embrace brothers and sisters that you love is the way the world was originally created. I loved getting Cold Stone with Rod, dancing and eating with Breanna (thanks for holding my water and taking that awesome picture of me! <3), eating B-Dubs with Matt and Lesley, playing guitar with Cody, watching Ramses take pictures of himself and having him pray over me, taking selfies at the bean in Chicago with Ann Marie, Jadi testing my hat size whilst incomplete on my head at Starbucks, popping deuces and duckfaces with Falyn, and every other moment with all the rest of you. I hope I get to meet even more of you moving forward.
  4. I’m thankful for selfless hearts. I’ve never received as much personal mail as I did this year. I’ve never been so tangibly blessed on a birthday than I was this year (thanks for the shoes Jonnie they are seriously so awesome). When I was hurting financially, you guys sent me some money. When my backpack got stolen, you guys replaced the books I never got to read (thank you Moriah and Nicole). Even small things like Matt buying me breakfast at U of M, even non-tangible things like Ann Marie opening her house to me and Ella and Courtney calling me on a 15 hour road trip to keep me company, and big things like Lesley paying for my ticket to the game, I have been humbled and inspired to love better by receiving love from you all. Shoutout to Falyn for being the first though, with her bomb ass care package complete with snickerdoodles, gushers, mix cd’s and spider-man duct tape.
  5. I’m thankful for redeemed relationships with brothers. For some reason I just have a tough time with relationships with other men. Even on here, I am so quick to judgment towards guys I don’t know and I’m not entirely sure why, but God works through and around that. I started off thinking this “blakebaggott” character was annoying and self-righteous and generally insufferable. Turns out he’s an intelligent and articulate thinker with a heart that doesn’t grow weary and bears good fruit, and now I think we can both say that the other is one of the most cherished relationships we each have through this dumb site. Same thing with “musiqchild007” - he was profane and disrespectful to people and I tried following him once but the beyonce spam was too much for me. Somewhere along the line Jesus decided that wasn’t going to fly. Truthfully I don’t even remember how/when Jherrel and I started talking and diving into friendship with each other, but God’s taken that rocky start and turned it into the strongest bond I have with any man in person or online. And I got to spend a day with him in the flesh. These are just the biggest two examples. The laughs of my relationship with Rod, being able to related to in my relationship with Christopher, the occasional friction but the mutual love in my relationship with Micah, the respect I get in my relationship with shmapey, the everything in my relationship with Jake, the iron sharpening iron in my relationship with Nick, the joy and laughter of my relationship with Marc, and so many more of you that I have been blessed by. You’re not overlooked or forgotten.
  6. I’m thankful for being pursued. I’m mainly looking at you, Asian Dan the Man, and you, Darren, and you, shmapey. You guys see something in me that I do not see in myself over 2013 and even though I have virtually nothing to offer you right now, you continue to come to me, encourage me, and pour yourselves out. Whether it’s money, a phone case, cookies (not the best ever), cards, phone calls and prayer, or whatever else, you and others have cushioned my hurt and my loneliness more than I can explain. Eric, Jonathan, Samuel and Brian, this applies to you guys too. Thank you for thinking I’m worth your time and not giving up.
  7. I’m thankful for lovely sisters. How many amazing women are on this site? Chelsea has continuously listened to me and shared her life with me despite being warned not to, Lesley has maintained our friendship despite so many justifiable reasons she wouldn’t have to, Courtney got children in Uganda to wish me happy birthday, Ella allows me to speak into her life not knowing she speaks into mine even more, Tiffany is so complimentary and edifying with her words, Catherine called me a “10” and keeps me in check with every element of her sass and spunk, Falyn is a real-life snapchat, Emma has the deepest depths of passion and praise in her bones, Olivia sometimes likes my selfies and is just a solid rock of consistency that rubs off on you, Maerin and Victoria allow me to play ‘big brother’ and appreciate me and are thankful in it, Becca is the most adorably affectionate woman I’ve ever experienced, Katie is a handful but of the absolute best stuff you could hope for in a woman, Brittany is such a fighter and refuses to be beaten or stricken, Lauren is straight out of a pinterest board and the most elegant and artistically gifted woman I know, Lauren is wise beyond her years but still grounded and looks at me from eye level and Holly and I are separated twins of different ethnicities we have so much in common. I know I left so many of you genuinely incredibly wonderful women (and more importantly sisters) off of here, but don’t think I don’t recognize or see you. I do.
  8. I’m thankful for words. You guys are so lavishing with words. The inquiring anons, the uplifting fan mails, the prayers when I and my friends/family need them most, the flooded inbox that I forget to respond to when I post all of my hurt publicly. Words are my first love language and it’s safe to say that I feel loved here.
  9. I’m thankful for the negatives. I’m not just thankful for the positive stuff. I’m thankful for the people that didn’t think I was worth fighting for. I’m thankful for the fractured relationships of people leaving. I’m thankful for the hateful words spoken over me. I’m thankful for the sabotaged plans and undermined intentions. I love you all still, more than you love me if you even do, and I have learned from you. I’m still learning, and sometimes the things that have happened still hurt me, but I deserve better than you people and those situations, and so do you. 
  10. I’m thankful for redemption and grace. I’m not a finished product. I’m not anything pretty right now. If you knew all the skeletons I’m hiding even at 10:52am on December 31st, you’d shudder. But you’re still here. You’re still pouring. You’re still gifting. You’re still speaking. You’re still forgiving. You’re still encouraging and uplifting and inspiring and not giving up on me. You’re all golden.

Thank you.