i love voldemort okai

Okay I love “Rincewind hits Voldemort with a half a brick in a sock” and also “Sam Vimes and/or Captain Carrot arrest Voldemort” but you know what’s great?

“Sam Vimes arrests Dumbledore”

Heck “Sam Vimes arrests everyone at the top of the Ministry and school officials and pretty much everyone involved in the Triwizard Tournament for Child Endangerment”

“But the participants were of age-”

/pointing at Harry/ “THAT ONE ISN’T. AND YOU BROUGHT DRAGONS. INTO. A SCHOOL.”

“Yes but-”

“YOU TIED CHILDREN UP. UNDER. A LAKE.”

~

Nanny Ogg and Hagrid get along like a house on fire except for the unfortunate fact of Hagrid’s cat allergy and Greebo aggressively humping his boot (no one is sure if Greebo is trying ot romance or murder the boot).

McGonagall and Granny Weatherwax stare at each other very stiffly for a very long moment (like two strange cats that have unexpectedly run into each other) making everyone else nervous. Eventually they nod, exchange a few words, and go on their way.

Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg actually both get on really well with Professor Grubbly-Plank.

Magrat thought she and Trelawny were kindred spirits and is exceedingly disappointed at how much they are not. Then she finds the greenhouses and has tea with Professor Sprout and feels much better.

~

HAGRID VOLUNTEERING AT LADY SYBIL’S SUNSHINE SANCTUARY FOR SICK DRAGONS.

Hermione in the Unseen University library.

Ron learning to play Thud! along with chess.

Susan Sto Helit’s grandfather introducing Harry as the great-great-etc grandson of an old friend.

empyrreal  asked:

do you have any headcanons for why dorcas was murdered by voldemort personally?

okay, yes. i love dorcas. she is my queen.

  • basically, not only was dorcas an extremely gifted witch, she was also a muggle-born.
  • so her being a part of the order and also a threat because of her abilities made her a top target of voldemort’s to destroy.
  • and she managed to escape him so many times during the war that it made it incredibly frustrating for him.
  • his loyal followers could not seem to get his hands on her, and really, that would just not do.
  • she was also a skilled legilimens, and that frightened voldemort to have someone in the order that could truly read his mind without difficulty.
  • it was really after marlene and her entire family were killed.
  • dorcas was so in love with marlene, and she learned quickly after marlene was murdered that she was planning to propose to her.
  • and it wasn’t like dorcas gave up, but she just was losing her focus.
  • she was not as good at getting away without a trace anymore.
  • and dorcas would have been lying if she said she wasn’t relieved when voldemort came and killed her.
  • because voldemort wasn’t one for torture.
  • he was quick and easy with the killing curse, though he would taunt his victims for awhile before he killed them.
  • and dorcas already felt like she was tortured long enough living without marlene for a few months.
  • she accepted her fate once voldemort came that night, but that did not mean she did not go down without a fight. 
  • dorcas was a fighter before she was anything else, but at the end, she knew she had done all she could with her efforts to eradicate evil.
  • it was time for a new generation to pick up where she left off. 
  • and voldemort did attempt to tear her down right before he killed her, but her last words to him were, “you will never win, tom. but hey, at least you tried.”