(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)
“If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend"
"I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
“Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
“Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
“Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
“You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME”
“Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
“Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
“Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
“This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
(crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”
"Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
“What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
“Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
“I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
“What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
“Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
“No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
“You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go”
“I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
“Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
(crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”
“I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
“Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
"What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
“Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
“Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
“Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
“Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
“Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
“I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
“I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”
“Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
“Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
“If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
“Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
“Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
“But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
“Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
“My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
“I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
“What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”
”I still have you in my phone under ‘don’t call’ even though it’s been years and I just accidentally sent you a rickroll oops” au
“this is so unfair there’s this song getting popular and the singer sounds like you and all these lyrics almost sound like they could be about me but you’re singing about lost love and you weren’t in love with me wait I’m watching the music video and crying and hey that’s definitely you wtf” au
“oh my god i just hit someone with my car and it’s you hey i’m sorry are you okay please don’t sue?” au
“we’re romantic leads in a play and hey what ruined our friendship again OH YEAH THIS INSANE CHEMISTRY this isn’t awkward at all” au
“you’re famous and just got asked if you were ever in love this should be good– WAIT WHAT” au
“so i know we just reunited but mind explaining how your whole life went to hell?” au
“you just liked a three year old photo of me on instagram i didn’t even know you had an account” au
“something came up and now i’m really scared you’ll spill this old secret of mine please don’t do that” au
“i’m a nurse and oh my god what happened why are you here i can’t lose you a second time” au
“did you know when you meet your soulmate ‘x’ happens? the government’s kept it under wraps but i just found out and i think we should try again cause i always assumed it was coincidence but that thing happened when we met” au
“i’m moving and i know this is a long-shot but want my dog?? you’re the only other person it ever liked and i hate you but i love it” au
“i thought you hated me but i just accidentally sent you a booty text and you accepted and i am seriously considering it” au
“so i didn’t know why you dropped contact with me and i just found out and here’s how i totally did not do that” au
“we’re texting for the first time in forever and i told you about some stupid thing i did and sent a sarcastic ‘you must really miss me, huh’ and you just replied ‘yes’ and i think my heart just broke” au
“our best friends are dating you’re still the spawn of satan though” au
“i just found out through social media/mutual friends that you’re gay/bi/pan/etc. do you know how many times i did not make a move” au
“we’ve been chatting online and we get on really well and oh that explains it” au (bonus: i totally told you about my crappy ex oops it you)
Let me start off by saying congratulations on 15 FREAKING MILLION SUBSCRIBERS @therealjacksepticeye YOUVE WORKED SO HARD AND YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE YOU REALLY DO
HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN WATCHING YOU I CANT EVEN ANSWER THAT i cant even say how much i want to thank you. Youve played such a large role in my life when times were shitty and nothing made me happy, i would just watch your videos and find myself giggling and even full blown laughter!
I love how you keep in touch with your viewers when you make videos that discusses your opinions or your feelings and even your regular videos, you still show that youre you and youre not afraid of expressing that.
You make ALL OF US AND I MEAN ALL OF US WHO WATCH YOU so happy even if you dont think you are. We all watch your videos and find so much joy in every second of them. We cant thank you enough for being a part of our lives and making them worth living. Even if you dont think youre doing anything, just being you and making these videos for US, youre bringing us all together. We’re so happy to watch your videos and thank you for bringing us so much happiness Jack. WE LOVE YOU!
summer has (un)officially begun! here are some sweet tips and tricks to help you maintain your productivity during these fun times, even if you’re out of school.
wake up at a respectable time. seriously. if your sleep schedule is all out of wack, then chances are that your productivity will be too. i usually make it a point to go to bed before 11:30 p.m, and i wake up between 7-8:30 a.m. modify this to your needs, obviously, but maintaining a sleep timetable that you can stick to is important. you can go off it a few times, of course (midnights at the beach, anyone?), because hey! it’s summer. just tailor to your needs.
find a new hobby! whether it’s cooking, learning a language, or exercising, picking up a new interest over the summer keeps you occupied and creates a healthy habit for you before the next school year.
online lectures/schooling. a super cool way to learn a bit more, with videos and lectures from some of the school’s top universities. it might be a little over your head, but it’ll give you something neat to chew on and some bonus education. plus, it’s of YOUR choosing.
volunteer work! i love to coach at my nearby pool, it’s a fun way to interact with kids AND i earn some volunteer hours. find something near you, and a make it a day-long opportunity or even a month-long project. it feels good to give back to the community.
water. oh my god, drink water. it’s a season of extremes, no matter where you are, and drinking water is oh so important to stay healthy when you’re not actively thinking about it. buy a 32 oz water bottle (or, if you’re feeling fancy, a cute tumbler) and fill it up with water. drink that. all of it. repeat. keep repeating.
create a healthy routine that allows you to feel productive even when you’re not really doing anything. for me, that’s forcing myself to make my bed, get dressed, etc. by 10:00 a.m. that way, i feel as if i’ve started my day, even though i’ve only done the smallest things. that usually gives me motivation to continue with my tasks.
most importantly, enjoy it! whether you’re going on vacation or not, taking classes, whatever, it’s summer and you should enjoy your break. take a day off sometimes. go out with your friends. do something that makes you happy.
So Yuuri and Yuuko always give each other both a normal gift and a gag gift for holidays, celebrations, etc. And when Yuuko's wedding comes around Yuuri's gag gift to her was a step by step tutorial of pole dancing with a slow-mo video of him pole dancing with stripper music in the back ground at the end. Yuuko lost her shit and keeps it in a precious box for years. But then she brings it to the Viktuuri wedding. Everyone is now asking for copies and Yuuri realizes he's friend with a traitor.
my brain: there’s a place where we don’t have to feel unknown oh my god everybody needs to see this and every time that you call out you’re a little less alone i can’t stop watching this video seventeen years old if you only say the woooooord take five minutes this will make your day FROM ACROSS THE SILENCE YOUR VOICE IS HEEAARD OOOOOOOH share it with the people you love, repost the world needs to hear thisa beautiful tribute OOOOOOOOH i know someone who really needed to hear this today so thank you evan hansen for doing what you’re doing OOOOOOOH i never met connor but coming up here reading everyone’s post someone will come runnning it’s so easy to feel alone that ooooooohhh evan is exactly right ohhhhhhh we’re not alone oooooooh none of us none of us none of us are alone like especially now oooooh with everything you hear in the news someone will come runninglikesharerepostthank you evan hansen for giving us a space to remember connor oooohhh someone will come running to find each other thank you evan hansen OOOOOHHH thank you evan hansen take you hoooooomeOHHHHHOOOOOOHthank you evan hansenOOOOOOOOOHEVEN WHEN THE DARK COMES CRASHING THROUGH WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND TO CARRY YOU WHEN YOU’RE BROKEN ON THE GROUND YOU WILL BE FOUND