i love this poem too much ok

i thought about death last on a tuesday. i thought about how decay is supposed to smell sweet and i wondered what that meant for its taste. i have no intention to find out, though i know curiosity, like cat to mouse, has a way of digging her claws in.

i thought about life last night. not just the sunrise, or the stars. not just the way the world goes dizzy at the edges when you hold your breath, but the way that the air feels in the aftermath of a storm. particles lightning-charged with the same kind of life that lingers in the synapses of a brain at the edge of discovery.

this morning i thought about you. you. you are hard to fold into words. i find that your curves do not like the way sentences feel when i try to hold them up against you, to see if i caught your image within them. the comparison is as weak as i was when i saw you last tuesday, or when you smiled at me last night.

tonight? who knows. the thing is, i think these days i laugh more than i cry, but i still think about death. i haven’t looked at the stars in a while but i still see them, and i will always watch for storms. you do not complete me as i was a person before you, but i like that we could live alone. it means we choose not to.

l.s. | i still think © 2017 

132 Thoughts I Had While Watching the PLL Finale
  1. OMG Bridget Woo LOL nice throwback 
  2. This is like a dream sequence or someone’s imagination, right?
  3. Definitely has to be Mona’s imagination.
  4. Lucas WTF 
  5. Ha the girls don’t seem the least bit enthused with him “Hey Lucas” 
  6. “Remember when we used to look up murder weapons, indistinctive traits of psychopaths exhibiting signs of hyper-reality disorder” IM YELLING 
  7. JENNA! BITCH YOU IS BLIND WHY ARE YOU RIDING A HORSE?
  8. I low-key love all of the truth tea they’re spilling, even though it’s not real 
  9. HA I KNEW IT WAS MONA’S CRAZY ASS
  10. So Mona gets to know who A.D. is first? 
  11. OMG THEY ALL DID THE SHHHH  
  12. Aw Ezria y’all are cute. 
  13. YASSS ARIA OWN THAT UGLY CRY 
  14. OMG EMISON TWINS FUCK THEY’RE SO CUTE 
  15. Lily and Grace are such sweet names 
  16. DOMESTIC EMISON!!! HEY NOW HEY NOW THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF 
  17. MAMA PAM YES 
  18. Melissa and Spencer getting along? Ehhhh idk about that 
  19. OW MY SPOBY HEART 
  20. Oh my god she re-bought his truck? I love Spencer so much. 
  21. Hey that’s Marlene’s son!
  22. ADDISON YOU BITCH STFU 
  23. Alison would END YOU 
  24. Who bullies someone just because they’re deaf? 
  25. And there’s Jenna tapping along… 
  26. OH YES END HER JENNA  
  27. Lolololol she became a life skills teacher I love it 
  28. Haleb is still cute even when they’re fighting 
  29. MONA’S BACK YES 
  30. Of course she would be obsessed with game shows 
  31. Spencer’s love for interior design making an appearance, I love it!
  32. SPALISON IS SO CUTE 
  33. Aria’s dress here is really cute! 
  34. "Wait for it”  
  35. Lol but I could so see them all going on a group honeymoon to Paris together 
  36. Oh shit where’s Mona? 
  37. "That’s exactly why we eloped.” Only in Rosewood y'all 
  38. This scene was all Ian haha 
  39. They’re such a cute family OWW MY HEART 
  40. MELISSA???  
  41. Ella could take down Diane in a SECOND  
  42. Love me some Spanna!  
  43. EMISON IS ABOUT TO GET THEIR SEXY ON 
  44. LOL everyone casually sneaks off to go have sex and then there’s just Spencer and Toby 
  45. THEY’RE PLAYING SCRABBLE FUCKKKKK
  46. Damn Ezria get it. Nice throwback to 5x05 with Aria pulling the sheets over her! 
  47. JESUS EMISON LET ME BREATHE 
  48. Emily has that sex hair right now! 
  49. “I’m trying to get pregnant” “You’re scaring my ovaries” Oh Hanna.  
  50. MELISSA STOP BEING CREEPY 
  51. OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING. SPOBY PARALLELS TO 1x19 OMG 
  52. Aria baby what’s wrong? 
  53. OF COURSE IT’S MONA UNDER THERE 
  54. So now Mona’s working for A.D.? 
  55. Aria I’m so heartbroken for you baby!!! (ALSO IS THAT THE SONG FROM THAT SUPER SAD SCENE IN SEASON ONE AHHH THE FEELS) 
  56. LOL Mona you sly bitch 
  57. Uhhh Spencer what are you doing? 
  58. ARIA APOLOGIZING FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE KIDS IM SOBBING 
  59. HOPE BREEDS ETERNAL MISERY OMG 
  60. Oh Hanna baby what is you doing?  
  61. Byron you big softie! 
  62. Poor Ella, but THE WINE MOMS ARE BACK YASSSS 
  63. OH MY GOD THEY’RE DISCUSSING HOW THEY GOT OUT OF THE BASEMENT LOLOLOL 
  64. Toby and Emily are such an underrated friendship 
  65. WOAH WAIT that girl is Maya’s niece? HOW SWEET 
  66. Spoby I miss you so much 
  67. LIMERANCE  
  68. Ah looks like the Wine Moms had a fun night 
  69. Ezria stop fighting right this second YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED 
  70. THIS EMISON PROPOSAL GOT ME CRYING AGAIN 
  71. “You wanna make a baby?” OMG STOP THEY’RE SO CUTE 
  72. SHIRTLESS TOBY MAKING A COMEBACK
  73. FUCK ME UP this is so hot!!!! 
  74. UH SPENCER, weren’t you just with Toby doing the sex? 
  75. Oooh that’s the song that played when Spencer was sitting outside of Toby’s apartment crying her eyes out back in season 3! 
  76. MONA OMG. I do love the parallel to 2x25 though with that slap  
  77. FUCK FUCK FUCK I KNEW IT!!!! TWINCER IS REAL BITCHES!!!! 
  78. Emison is 500% done with Mary’s shit lol 
  79. Ohhhh this is how Wren is connected to this shit show 
  80. ALEX DRAKE 
  81. Of course he ordered a vodka soda  
  82. “It’s a lot to process, would you like a sedative?” YES PLEASE  
  83. Spencer wants to fuck this bitch up so badly lololol 
  84. Oh jesus she’s going to become Spencer? What a twisted sister! 
  85. I KNEW THAT SCENE WITH HANNA AND THE ONE WITH EZRA AT THE AIRPORT WAS OFF. I didn’t catch the one where she was looking through the family album though and GOD DAMN IT THAT WAS HER KISSING TOBY IN 6x20 AND HAVING SEX WITH TOBY IN 7x18 
  86. Like Mother Like Daughter BROOOO 
  87. Damn Alex is just batshit crazy and I’m kinda loving it. 
  88. I do feel bad for her though. 
  89. Woah hold up this bitch had Wren shoot her so she’d look EXACTLY LIKE SPENCER, like down to the scars she has. Damn she’s committed, I’ll give her that. 
  90. SHIT SHE REALLY IS INSANE SHE TURNED WREN INTO A DIAMOND 
  91. Awwww Aria looks so beautiful! GIRL I’M CRYING TOO 
  92.  I’m gonna just pretend like that’s all of our girls taking that selfie 
  93. HOLY SHIT WREN IS THE BABY DADDY 
  94. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR LUNCH MARY 
  95. That’s actually so sad about what Alex’s parents did to her. I get why she’s so angry, she’s had a miserable life. 
  96. Mary really does love Spencer  
  97. OH GOOD SHE REMEMBERS THAT SPENCER CAN PICK LOCKS  
  98. Aria baby noooo don’t cry 
  99. I figured that Alex had Ezra… 
  100. Do-it-yourself dungeon I’M YELLING 
  101. Lol the look on Spencer’s face says “Bitch stop copying me” 
  102. Ezra must feel like a dumb dumb now 
  103. Oh so Alex shot Spencer, intending to kill her and take over her life but Mary saved her. Alright.  
  104. Alright that’s kinda cute how Alex and Charlotte bonded 
  105. Alex, Wren, Charlotte, and Archer were a SQUAD 
  106. Uh Charlotte, the only really terrible one is Peter Hastings! 
  107. No wonder Alex was so pissed when Charlotte was murdered, she was the only real family she had ever known. 
  108. UGH I’m just gonna pretend this is Team Sparia 
  109. Uh-Oh the horse knows it’s not really Spencer 
  110. Of course Jenna could SMELL that Spencer wasn’t really Spencer 
  111. Alright so these dummies have been trying to figure out who A is after all these years and they just immediately get it right now? That was so easy and ironic thing is that they didn’t have Spencer to help them figure it out.  
  112. Mary ships Spoby and I’m living for it 
  113. Damn Alex, psychotic much? 
  114. I always figured it was A.D. who bought Toby’s house 
  115. RUN BITCHES 
  116. Alex with that hatchet is giving me “The Shining” vibes lol 
  117. HOLY SHIT IT’S THE DOLLHOUSE 2.0 
  118. EZRA YOU GOOD THERE HOMEBOY?! 
  119. Oh my god Alex copying Spencer like that gives me the creeps 
  120. TWIN FIGHT 
  121. God dammit WHICH ONE IS SPENCER? 
  122. AWW TOBY YASSS BABY YOU REMEMBER HER FAVORITE POEM 
  123. OH MY GOD THIS WEDDING IS SO CUTE I CAN’T BREATHE 
  124. Look at the babies! 
  125. MARLENE KING OMG she did the Shhh and everything  
  126. My babies happy… I LOVE THIS SONG 
  127. Aww Hanna’s pregnant!!! 
  128. STOP THIS LAST OT5 SCENE IS TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW 
  129. Ok Mona having a doll shop in France is literally the cutest thing ever 
  130. She totally should’ve ended up with Mike though TBH 
  131. BROOO Mona literally won the game I’m so proud of my child 
  132. YOOOO THIS IS SOME SHIT OUT OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE. HAVEN’T YOUNG GIRLS IN ROSEWOOD LEARNED NOT TO HAVE SLEEPOVERS ON STORMY NIGHTS? 

“I envy people who just enjoy life, people who can just live in the moment. I couldn’t imagine going on a relaxing vacation and feeling relaxed. My mind would be elsewhere. Did I forget to do something before? How many days are left? I worry too much. I overanalyze everything. And then before I knew it, it would be over. That’s the problem with my mind, I miss out on so much because I am never really there, physically I am but my mind it’s always elsewhere. I’m always thinking about the past or the future or trying to make right now just right. Just for once I want to be in the present and be ok with it.”

- mavaline

I can’t take good selfies so just have this mirror thing from my instagram story! 😅

Ok, so, hey! My name is Lena, I’m 17 years old and I’m from Germany! 😊
I’m not new to penpalling but I took a break from it/got out of it for a while and lost contact to most of my penpals… so now I’m looking for some new penpals!! (I’ll also write to some old ones just not sure if they still want to reply 🙈).

As you can see I babble way too much and I can’t really be brief… I’d love to write long letters and/or pretty ones full of art, pictures, poems (if you write them, I don’t, only stories), cute gifts/stationery, sweets, receipts, … 😊✨
If you’re not keen on all that artsy stuff that’s fine with me as well, the content matters after all! I don’t really have a “perfect penpal”. Of course it’s always nice to have similar interests but why not get to know someone really opposite of you? Just contact me if you’re interested, I’ll continue with some info about me so you have an idea of who I am! 🌻

I speak English and German (and Latin but you can’t really speak that) and I’d love to help people with their German! We could also skype for that or so that I could practice speaking English 😅 but I’d have to get reaaally comfortable with you for that^^’ One day I also want to learn Spanish… but that’s not gonna happen due to my procrastination skills 😂
I love travelling and I’ve been to some cool countries actually I’m proud of that haha but my list is still going on!! ✈
In general I like going out into nature! Other hobbies are reading, drawing, writing sometimes, the occasional watching tv series/movies and sometimes even anime (not really into anime anymore but who knows). I also used to cosplay, might get back into it and I enjoy all kinds of creative hobbies 😊I also love photography and I’d be happy to send you some pictures and also receive some from you (also postcards! ♥) 📷
Music is a pretty big part of my life too! My favorite band is probably Red Hot Chili Peppers ♥ I recently discovered Kaleo, I’m listening to Seether a lot atm, I enjoy some songs by Die Antwoord and I’ve been long fascinated by Rammstein… soo my taste in music is all over the place and I’d love to get recommendations from you! 😊
I’m vegetarian trying to go vegan 🌱 it would be cool to swap receipts with other veggies but not a must!!
I also love cats 🐱

Ok, ok, I’ll stop here or else I won’t have anything to write in my letters! 😅I don’t care about your gender, age, religion, race, sexuality (I’m more gay than bi but definitely somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum 🌈) etc.
I just want to get to know some of you and finally write letters again!! ✉✨

Contact me 😊

e-mail: lenagloeckner @ gmx . detumblr: drop-in-an-ocean.tumblr.com
instagram: _ifseascatchfire_

anonymous asked:

10 bizzar facts about ancient rome?

(A follow up to this post I’ve reblogged a few days ago)

Sit back class, I’m taking you for a ride

In no particular order:

1.       Julius Caesar’s soldiers used to sing a catchy song about him being gay as fuck and yes, he was well aware of that. Also, they had reasons.

2.       Romans added a spicy sauce made from fermented fish (garum) to EVERYTHING. Cookies included.

3.       This shit right here:

4.       Shared co-ed public restrooms. Nothing like a nice chat while taking a dump. Now the disgusting part, they used a sponge to wipe their ass. And no, it was not a personal sponge. But the toilets were flushing, yay

5.       Catullus being nice and dedicating a poem to his friends. I mean: “I will sodomize you and face-fuck you, Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius”. Truly touching

6.       Mark Anthony (that one who ended up with Cleopatra) breaking into his boyfriend’s house via the roof, getting caught and being a main source of entertainment in the city for like a week. It’s not bizzare, I just love good Roman gossip ok xD

7.       Emperor Nero had a husband. He considered himself a wife. But hold on with praising Nero too much, he also killed his pregnant wife

8.       They invented concrete and pulled off a giant-ass dome made entirely out of it that had no match until 19th century. Also shopping malls, 8 floor buildings and spa* the size of several football stadiums anyone?

*and by spa I mean a place when you could take a 4 different kinds of baths, get a massage, haircut, shave your beard, borrow a book, read a newspaper, eat sth, go to the gym, watch other guys go to the gym and masturbate to it, get laid, discuss your friend’s dreadful poem over a cup of wine and all that either for free or the price of a loaf of bread

9.       They had take away fast food restaurants. And an equivalent of plastic plates and cups. The remains of Roman pottery formed a real hill in Rome, called Monte Testaccio.

10.   Emperor Elagabalus as a whole. He’s my fave. Shit-trash-motherfucker. Look him up, please, you won’t regret.

I’m Tia, a 17 y/o high school sophomore (yeah i messed up lol, don’t be like me, kids. stay focused.) I figured that I needed to improve my study game and stop procrastinating and develop better study habits, so I chose to make a studyblr.


About me:

- i live in the mideastern u.s

- I am an esfp

- co’20 (19 if lucky lmao)

- i’m obsessed with astrology, SAGITTARIUS POWER!

- I’ll be 18 on November 30th, how lit?

- I attended summer school for the first time EVER on July 5th until August 4th for Algebra 1 (10 credits) and Physics 9 (5 credits) it was embarrassing because I’d never had to go to summer school before, ever.


Things I Like:

- K-pop (EXO, Pristin, Monsta X, NCT 127, NCT Dream, NCT U, BTS, Cosmic Girls, Girls’ Generation, Miss A, Boyfriend, SEVENTEEN, NU’EST, Boys Republic, Gugudan, VIXX, Wonder Girls, and more.) I’ve been a k-pop fan for years and honestly, it’s been the best two years ever, man.

- LEARNING LANGUAGES. I’m in the process of learning Spanish and Korean. I grew up speaking Spanish pretty well, but I guess I grew out of it? And I’ve been *trying* to learn Korean, but each time IN THE PAST 2 YEARS, I become a language hoe and begin learning a different language- I need to stop.

- K-dramas. Yeah… My free time went into these. They are to blame for why my gpa is terrible, imo.

- Stationery. I love buying stationery, but I’m a little messy(?) and clumsy so I end up losing it or never getting it back from someone loaned something to. BUT NOT THIS YEAR. I always buy so much stationery every year only for teachers to say “oh you don’t need this” or “this isn’t necessary” or even the classic “why’d you buy that? didn’t the school send a list home?”

- BUBBLE TEA, FROZEN YOGURT… all i can say is yes. Buy me a Red Velvet bubble tea and I’ll love you forever. Froyo is just everything, yes. You can’t not like froyo.

- Art. I like reading, writing poems/short stories, essays, and all that. I want to take photography this year, graphic design or even intro to psychology (ok maybe Early Childhood Education too. I don’t even think I can switch that many classes)


Full Year Classes

- Geometry (5 credits)

- English 10 (5 credits)

- Chemistry (5 credits)

- U.S History 1 (5 credits)

- Spanish 1 (5 credits)


1st Semester Electives

- Physical Education 10 (2.5 credits)

- Theatre 2 (2.5 credits)

- Financial Literacy (Switching to Photography 1 or Graphic Design 1 if available) (2.5 credits)


2nd Semester Electives

- Health 10/Driver’s Education (2.5 credits)

- Criminal Justice (Switching to Psychology if available) (2.5 credits)

- Clothing 1 (2.5 credits)


Why ‘Soju-Studies’?

I honestly have no idea. I thought it sounded very cute, so I picked it… creativity was not flowing well, ok? Don’t come for me, it was a brain-fart!


Studyblrs I love a lot:

@studyblr @studyign @stuydies @studying-jedi @studying-hard @my-little-studyblr @hobifulstudies @mildlineurs @studydiaryofamedstudent @studyskylar @studywithinspo @tbhstudying @elkstudies @emmastudies @stillstudies @studywithinspo

Darlings

The first time
I saw you
I couldn’t stop
seeing you.
Like when you look at something
bright
and the outline
remains imprinted
on the inside
of your eyelids.

You lit up my world to
such an extent that
I couldn’t see
in the dimness that it
returned to
when you left.

And the first thing
I thought
when I saw your
pouted lips tucked into
baby-fat cheeks
was
I want to kiss you
so badly.

Our friendship really took off
when you made me watch
that movie
and we discussed the chemistry
between Dane DeHaan and
Daniel Radcliffe
and how their kiss
was the most beautiful thing
we’d ever seen.

I didn’t tell you
that I wished
it was us.

And you read me your poetry
on Allen Ginsberg’s birthday
and it was as if
truth
and love
and anything
that could ever evoke
desire
was kneaded into the words
dripping
from your lips.

And I’ve read them all,
those poems of yours,
over
and over
but each time I do
I lose
more
and more
hope.

Because you like boys.

And you tell me
about how you still have feelings
for your ex boyfriend
who didn’t treat you enough
like a princess
to make me ok with that.

And all your poems
are about him
just like all of mine
are about you.

You tell
you cry too much
but I’ve only seen you cry
once
and you were still
the most beautiful thing
in the room.
Although I still wanted
to tell you that
you’ll be ok
because you’re
so much stronger
than you allow yourself
to believe.

And when
you lay next to me
in the spare bed
and asked me to
hold you
I traced words
on your back
that I still don’t know
if you read.

Kiss me.
Kiss me again.

And you did.

I don’t care
if it was a once off,
if you just wanted to see
what it felt like
or if you simply wanted
to feel loved
for a moment.

Because
Ginsberg was right:
First thought,
best thought.

Talking about food and poem story XD

Food. I may have many problems but I’m going to eat no matter what problem will be in my way XD the problem is…I like to eat but can’t really cook “^^ well so good at it. I think I’m bad but my dad says it all needs practice ”^^ ok. That’s true but first I’m too lazy and second I don’t really have time to learn how to cook (ok. That isn’t really an excuse. I know XD) and third it all costs so much. But if want to you need to pay today I know. (But if you’re are farmer there wouldn’t be such a problem though XD)
Anyway…I’m pretty sure there are a lot of people who love food too like I do.
Wait.
That was a poem just now XD cool.
Well there is a short story I want tell about poems. In one lesson me and my friend couldn’t stop making rhymes and made poems with every sentence we said XD that was awesome! XD

[150521] BTS @ Stardust MV Bank (pt. 3)

Pt.1; Pt. 2

S: Next question, Jungkook. It’s a question for Rap Monster.

JK: Sexy brain guy, Rap Monster! Your rap skills outshine and even your English skills are amazing. I want to hear a sexy English rap~

(1, 2, 3… RM raps in English)

(Excellent timing (?) MC SUGA’s self-filtering!)

RM: I forgot the lyrics, it was ages ago.

JH: (The lyrics) it was about love, right?

RM: Nope, it’s not.

J: Isn’t it swaggy lyrics?

RM: It doesn’t have any meanings.

(Aigoo~ There’s no meaning~)

J: Every member were involved in producing this album~ What do you want to do the most when you get paid (royalty fees)? When I receive it, I will get couple bracelet for my mother.

V: When I receive it, I will do a family photo shoot. Because my family haven’t taken a family photo together. Recently, Suga hyung got the family photo done. Seeing Suga hyung doing that, I started to have the thought of doing the same thing. Is the royalty fee enough?

S: Of course it’s enough.

J: After our debut, I’ve only received 1,3000won (royalty fee). I spent all of it on food.

JH: Yeah, you eat snacks.

RM: The remaining amount after spending it on snacks.

S: This corner is to make a acrostic poem with ‘I Need U’.

(Trying to figure out the letters)

PD: I Need U Dae Bak.

(Suga starts off)

S: Ah~!

(J-Hope’s turn)

RM: Let’s say something nice.

JH: I don’t believe it~! (or Oh, my~!)

J: I seriously expected that to come up. (?)

(Jimin’s turn)

JM: You~!

(Leader is getting more worried. What will he come up with?)

RM: Too much (awfully/ terribly).

(Jungkook’s turn) 

JK: This is indeed childish!

JH: (Puts all together) What does that even mean?

S: Jin ssi~.

J: It’s seriously daebak!

(How is this acrostic poem (?) going to end…)

(Going over it all together) Ah, oh my, you, too much, this is indeed childish, this is seriously daebak.

(V, we’re depending on you…!)

V: Let’s explode/ burst! BTS!

(As if this corner will burst…)

(Ah… I tried my best…)

PD: Anyone wants to do it alone?

V: Me.

(You again?!)

S: Ok, V ssi. Let’s do it. Start.

V: Ah! Yi-ya! Deu-ah (?)

(Got it wrong again, it should be ‘ni’ first)

V: Ni-ha (?). Deu-ha~! Yu-ha-a~!

(Nevertheless, you did a great job…)

S: It was a very surprisingly amazing acrostic poem. (T/N: He used Cheon Song Yi’s phrase from My Love from the Star. It’s not found in the dictionary.)

(/Claps/ Claps for V who has diligently roared)

(Rap Monster volunteers to do the acrostic poem)

RM: I Need U.

(V says the wrong letter again XD)

RM: I Need U. Isn’t this a good song~ You need this song~ Even if it’s too much, please listen to it~ ㅠㅠ (yu-yu)~

 (He is indeed the leader)

S: We are no longer in the crisis of being edited out.

S: Yes, we’re now finished after an hour with ‘Hot Player’.

(You said an hour…?!)

S: Is this going to be broadcasted for an hour?

(Oh dear…)

PD: The time spent together. (Not an hour)

(Where is the end to MC SUGA’s stammer…)

S: Yes, the time spent with ‘Hot Player’ is over now. Everyone, how was it today?

JK: The filming was really fun.

V: Last time, I didn’t appear many times. So this time, I (tried to) appear a lot.

JM: They’re asking for your impressions~

V: It was very fun! What am I supposed to say…

S: We need to have an original/ fresh ending. J-Hope ssi…

JM: Suga hyung was the MC (today) right, so you do it.

(Expressing through dance)

(Aigoo, so fun~)

(Entertainment is so difficult…)

S: Yes, viewers of Stardust MV Bank, please give BTS a lot of love in the future. We will end it here. This was BTS. I Need You~~

(Goodbye everyone~ Let’s meet next time~!)

Trans: KIMMYYANG

(The last 1-2 mins had to be cut off because Tumblr only allows a 5mins video)

elfinmirror  asked:

Hi Caitlin! Sorry if I'm bothering you - but I was thinking about the poem "The first sorrow". Aside from the obvious identification Christine = Little Lotte, do you think the bird can be seen as a metaphor for Christine as well? As in, someone being held prisoner (as it were) by one who loves them dearly - and whom they might even love in return? The bird dies, but Christine survives because Erik lets her have her freedom .. and instead dies himself. Ok, im prob. reading too much into this.

Hi Elf! Oh, gosh, are you kidding! I love talking about the Little Lotte poem! :D

So for those of you who are unfamiliar with what we are referring to, in 1836, the Norwegian poet, Andreas Munch, wrote a poem called “Den første sorg,” or “The First Sorrow.” This poem started out, “Den lille Lotte tenkte på alt og ingenting,” or “Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing.” Sound familiar? :D Yes, this is the poem on which Gaston Leroux based Daddy Daaé’s story of Little Lotte.

In 1879, a French prose translation of Munch’s poem was included in a collection of Scandinavian poetry called Le roi Fialar. This is the book in which Leroux first encountered La petite Lotte (Little Lotte). Leroux then adapted this poem for use in The Phantom of the Opera.

The existence of “Den første sorg” was first brought to the attention of the phandom by the amazing Operafantomet back in the mid-2000s, I believe.

Here is the English translation of “Den første sorg” on Alvadee’s blog.

Note: in the English translation, you will notice that the word “butterfly” appears in the first stanza instead of “summer bird,” as in Leroux’s version. This is because a mistranslation was introduced into Le roi Fialar, which translated the Norwegian word “sommerfugl,” or “butterfly,” as “oiseau d’été,” or “summer bird.” To be fair (as I understand it), the words “sommer” and “fugl” taken separately do mean “summer bird.”

However, based on this mistranslation, Leroux was able to create parallels between Erik and Christine. By association with Lotte, Christine is a “oiseau d’été” (summer bird), and in Apollo’s Lyre, Leroux refers to her as a “hirondelle” (swallow). Then also in Apollo’s Lyre, Leroux (and Christine) refer to Erik as a “oiseau de nuit” (night bird), and Raoul states that he wants to nail Erik to the Lyre of Apollo like the Bretons nail owls to the walls of their farm houses. In this way, Leroux casts Christine and Erik as mirror reflections of each other; she is a bird of the day, and he a bird of the night.

Now, if you haven’t already, I want you to go read the English translation of the Little Lotte poem, and then come back to this post.

Have you read it? Okay, let’s move forward.

Now, to answer your question, Elf, Lotte and her bird each have parallels to both Erik and Christine. Further, they can at various points in the poem be seen simultaneously as Erik AND as Christine. You are spot on in your reading of Leroux’s use of Munch’s poem.

Leroux tells us that Christine is like Lotte, with her blonde hair, blue eyes, and charming, naive demeanor. We can also surmise, based on the substitution of the bird for the Angel of Music in Phantom, that there is a connection between Erik and the bird. (And of course, in both versions, there is a father who makes the acquaintance between the two of them.)

But here’s where it gets really interesting. Based on the events in the poem, we can also see strong parallels between Lotte and Erik, as Lotte nourishes, comforts, and loves her captive songbird, but doesn’t understand that the bird longs to be free as springtime approaches. And we can also see parallels between the bird and Christine, as the little creature slowly starts to perish due to its confinement.

Next, when the bird dies, there is once again a strong parallel between Lotte and Christine.

In “The First Sorrow,” Munch writes (in translation):

“And, at she stood there silent, she became so strange
Before her clear eyes a fog grew
The sweet childhood blush faded from her cheeks
And slowly from her heart a dark pain arose.

“She could not know, what this pain was;
But sorrow had written its first rune in her heart
And marked its image deep on her soft features
No longer did it disappear with her last tear.”

Similarly, in Phantom, Erik tells Christine (when she asks to hear his Don Juan Triumphant):

“Voyez-vous, Christine, il y a une musique si terrible qu’elle consume tous ceux qui l’approchent. Vous n’en êtes pas encore à cette musique-là, heureusement, car vous perdriez vos fraîches couleurs et l’on ne vous reconnaîtrait plus à votre retour à Paris.”

Translation:

“You see, Christine, there is a music so terrible that it consumes all those who approach it. You have not yet encountered this music, fortunately, for you would lose your youthful glow and no one would recognize you upon your return to Paris.”

Erik’s warning that Christine would be so deeply affected by listening to his music that she would lose her “youthful glow,” and that no one would recognize her when she returned, seems to echo the transformation that Lotte undergoes when she experiences her first sorrow upon seeing her bird’s death.

Finally, in keeping with Leroux’s tradition of trope subversion, unlike Lotte’s bird, Christine does not die at the end of Phantom, but instead frees both herself AND her captor. She secures her liberty while at the same time allowing Erik to make his transformation from Beast to man. And in one last piece of role reversal, Erik as the dying Beast can again be seen as the dying bird (the beast of the wild), who must perish so that the man within him can be freed.

Disception

I’ve hade it!
I’m done with this
I ’m coming clean
You there! You belong to me

This is too sudden
Its too much , I can’t take it
But it’ll be foolish to run
Because you’re worth it

How can you not see?
Are blind?
By who, by what?
By me?!

Yes! I’m blind
Blinded by you!
Yes! It’s true
I love you too!

What? Really?
No, this is a dream
This is just surreal
This is fictionated reality

No, its not
Its true just like you
Just like now, right here
This is real

You’ve came clean
Now the opportunity is up to me
So I shall do the same
I don’t care if this makes me insane

You I love
You I care for
You I cherish
You I adore

This isn’t fake?
This isn’t a hoax
Oh thank heavens
It is what I’ve hoped!

You’ re concern is too much
Yet it’s so sweet
I ’ve chosen the right one
You are my best buddy!


Ok the way this poem goes is alternate the first is Goth’s pov then 2nd is Pallete’s. Ok read the piece of crap.
Advanced sorry to @nekophy and @angexci
For this trash
#thisssssssssssssss friend zone #hestillcan’t getit #poems

I’m really hurt.
I told you you didn’t have
to talk to me again and
you said “ok.”

It’s been about a week
since we’ve spoken
and I feel like you’ve
completely forgotten me.

I’ve been replaced.
You didn’t even try to
make me stay, you just
let me leave.
Now I’m here,
lost, unsure, incomplete.
Fuck I miss you so much.

I didn’t mean it when I
said I never wanted to hear
from you again.

and you knew it too.

i loved you with shaking hands
and brittle bones, with
a heart that was empty and
broken and alone,
with eyes that could see
you but not very well, because
they started to cry as soon as i fell.
i loved you with patience
and restlessness both, and
a head that was thinking in musical
notes, with a mind that was
busy most of the day,
and even though we talked often
i didn’t have much to say.
so i loved you with
greed and hunger and passion
and a constant fear that
something i said would make
you snap, with jealousy
and eagerness, and legs
that would break, with a heart
that didn’t have a clue how
much it could take.
and i’d ask you if i was worth
the days that were rough,
but i just want to know
why you let me go, said
the good days were good
but the bad ones were too
much; and wasn’t
the fact that i loved you
enough?
—  I LOVED YOU (wasn’t it enough?) // r.e.s