i love this part a lot

Hi guys if you’ve sent me an ask recently or tagged me in something, I’ve seen it, but I’ve also been pretty sick the last few days and haven’t had the spoons to talk much.  

I’ve also… been coming to the unpleasant realization that I can’t do college full-time and keep my health.  Which I realize is no fault of mine, just bad dice, but I am still working through a lot of not-being-great-at-academics-shame.  Also finishing my degree part-time is going to cost me a buttload of money. That I don’t have.

So, uh, love you all.

Love So Soft by lululawrence for @tositandadmire and @juliusschmidt

“Harry?” Louis called out. It was light out and a Sunday. Harry was probably in the kitchen.

Right then, Harry came walking back into the room with some scrambled eggs and toast on two plates. He froze about three steps in though, and looked up at Louis, his brows furrowed.

“I made breakfast, but…you…” Harry stopped and cleared his throat. “Uhm, your scent changed? Just since I got up to make breakfast. You okay?”

Louis bit his lip and shook his head. “I think my heat is coming early.”

Or the one where Harry and Louis have been friends since they were kids, but when Louis’ heat comes early, that balance that always existed between them suddenly changes.

Happy belated birthday, Alex, and VERY belated birthday to Bec! I love you two lots and hope you enjoy this fic i wrote for you :D

This fic was also written as part of an ongoing challenge. We each select random numbers and are given a specific emotion from the book 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names. To read the other fics written in this challenge, click here, or you can find the masterpost on tumblr here.

My prompt was 456: the guilty feeling of offending someone with a thoughtless remark.

cali-junglist  asked:

Do you find it funny that Matt Mercer does the English voices of McCree from Overwatch and Jotaro and also Daisuke Ono does both the Japanese voices of McCree and Jotaro and Joatro and McCree are both based on characters Clint Eastwood played in westerns. That's some weird full circle stuff.

Edit: Missed this part but it’s jurota kosugi who voices Jotaro (OVA) and McCree (thanks @bosmer).  But I like that connection regardless. 

I love Mercer’s Jotaro a lot more than I thought I would for that reason, he really channels Eastwood’s screen personae in his voicing (his Man with No Name and Dirty Harry too), it gives his Jotaro a cool-guy edge in the dub that I think otherwise gets lost sometimes in the translations.  

I wonder how much of that classic sense of, “I can have high expectations for how other people are treated, but view myself as trash,” comes from getting a lot of one’s basic lessons in love and empathy from books instead of peers

Like, I had almost no friends as a child, so I sat alone at recess, not playing with other children or being treated as worthwhile or interesting. The part of my brain that was supposed to encode my own personal experiences of being loved and treated well grew cobwebs while I was around other kids. So I brought library books out onto the playground with me.

Books saved me—books taught me that there were worthwhile friendships out there, and what they were like. I could tell when the characters deserved better. Books were like an author bottling up love and attention for me so I could open it up when I needed it. So I was kept entertained and learned what they looked like for other people.

But that didn’t change my own circumstances. Reading about someone being comforted when they were sad was very different than feeling someone else’s arms around me when I was crying. No matter how fiercely I wanted my life to be like the books I read, it wasn’t.

So I learned: There is a reality of love and care for other people, and there is a reality of loneliness and sorrow for me.

So no wonder I had a double standard for a lot of things in my life. My education in love was strictly bifurcated, and the important dividing line was whether a scenario included me, personally.

If true, this has all kinds of implications when it comes to treating the lonely love-starved bookworm, so I wonder.

On Healthy Relationships on Television (Riverdale)

I wasn’t originally going to write down these thoughts. I was going to just kind of keep them internally but given some of the negative stuff I’ve seen regarding the Varchie shower scene I thought I’d finally hash out my thoughts on it.

Let me just, first and foremost, give props for Riverdale for expertly showing not only teenage relationships but HEALTHY teenage relationships. In my opinion, I think a lot of film and shows tend to romanticize drama in a relationship. The opposites attract, you’re fighting because you love each other nonsense. I’m not saying that arguments aren’t part of relationships because they are, but rarely do you ever seen a couple actually talk about things and resolve them in a healthy manner.

Let’s start with Bughead: aka my golden children. There are already paragraphs and paragraphs dedicated to them so I’ll keep my opinions short. Do you know how important it is to have a couple that doesn’t scream, but instead deals with issues that arrive with words and communication. As someone who grew up in a household where I thought screaming was the only way to show affection, I wish I had more influences like that in my life growing up. Maybe then I wouldn’t have ended up in the one’s I’ve had, where I thought the tension was good and controlling ideas were a sign of love. Imagine you’re a teenager, and you’re watching these two on television who obviously are from different worlds, a regular Romeo and Juliet, but instead of committing a murder-suicide plot they end up actually working out because they genuinely love each other and are open, honest, and receptive of one another’s feelings.

Varchie: I’ve seen a lot of hate for Veronica about her slipping into the shower after Archie was in pain, saying it’s manipulative. Let’s take a minute to compare her actions to Grundy. I know, the horror right. But what Grundy did was manipulative. Threatened Archie’s own well being to get what she wanted. What did Veronica do? Offer him comfort in affection. Archie is by nature a very tactile person. In crisis, this boy is a hugger. So what did Veronica do? She gave him the touch, the affection that he knew he needed. And let’s not let this shower scene completely negate just how GOOD she was for him. He was angry, scared, cried, and she held him. She held him and said she wouldn’t leave. Because Archie didn’t need another person leaving him. He needed someone to stay beside him and hold him.

The media like to force feed us these “forbidden” romances. These tales of tribulations. On again and off again. But why? I’m not saying it’s bad to show unhealthy relationships because you’re going to come across them in real life and it’s good to be able to identify the signs. What I am saying is I’m really fucking tired of unhealthy love being portrayed as healthy and I want to commend Riverdale for being one of the first, if only, shows targeted towards a teen demographic that actually and accurately portrays various types of teenage love.

dragonfairies  asked:

I don't know if you watch Death Battle in YouTube, but they're apparently doing Naruto vs Ichigo next. My first reaction was to ask your opinion, on account that you write them so beautifully. Also I really love your writing! I don't tell you nearly as often as I should. The stories you share with us fans really light up my life.


Huh. My knee-jerk reaction is to say that Naruto would win, because he’s cunning. Ichigo can be clever, but for the most part he goes for head-on, brute-force tactics, whereas Naruto has a lot of misdirection and bait-and-switch tactics.

anonymous asked:

I get what you're saying about the whole 'can't believe in a creator' thing, but as someone considering converting, one of the things I find interesting about Judaism is that you can totally be an atheist and follow the religion. It's no big deal. Hell, there are a lot of rabbis who are atheists, even. The religion is more about what you do than what you believe.

I’ve actually got a few messages like this and it’s really interesting. I grew up mostly with religion as this thing relating to guilt. I loved it at first, I LOVED the stories and I wanted to be good and wanted to be a part of some community of…caring? If that made sense.

That’s not what I got, I got a lot of shame for feeling doubt, for not believing enough, for not having faith, for asking too many questions.

Being told that my parents would go to hell for not being believers and that it was my job to save them from eternal torment was genuinely fucking traumatic. I was 9.

I have always associated religion with not being devout or good enough and it rocks my world that there are all kinds of religions out there that have people dedicated to just not being… Manipulative.

douxpudding  asked:

//I just want to say that I absolutely love that you've stuck with canon on Pero's new candy arm. ♡ You're so good with paying attention to detail!! *hugs*

It really means a lot to me, especially coming from you! ❤

I like to stick with what is given and not ignore this! Loosing an arm doesn’t make him any less awesome, but in fact proves how strong and great he is as a character! ;w; Plus, I’m a huge stickler for detail, no matter how big or small they are! My art teachers and people I’ve come across in real life have often pointed that out when it came to my drawings, haha!  

Thanks again, hun! Really means a lot <3 *hugs*

anonymous asked:

Fellow book nerd here! I have also read through the series multiple times. I find the toughest bits to get through on reread are some of the Willie bits that drag on for 100 pages in Echo and even some of the Ian parts in that one. It’s hard when you don’t see the pay-off or how these parts play a role in the greater story. As for Jamie and Claire, I can read about them plodding through the woods for 200 pages and never get bored. I love them that much 😍

I have a lot of pity for William. Not because I’m invested at all in him or his storyline, but because of how Diana seems to be annoyed that he’s there and she must deal with him in order to keep the storyline of John and Jamie alive. William was created for no other reason than to keep John in this story with Jamie and Claire. She’s never bothered to give his character a soul because she really doesn’t give a fuck about him. He’s a plot device in her world and no more interesting at this point than a genealogy chart. She’s developed the character of the white sow more so than she has William.

Ya know how the show keeps trying to insist there is a Frank Claire Jamie love triangle? Well, they are right about the triangle, they just got the players wrong. The third angle isn’t Frank, it’s John. And if you sit and really think about where that story sits at the end of book 8 and how everyone got to where they are…. it’s all about John. Diana’s true passion isn’t Jamie or Claire, or their marriage, it’s the great and powerful Oz of Outlander, Lord John Grey. Actually, he’s more like Glenda the good witch of the north, but it sounds better the other way. 😜

Sensory Overload #2

I should probably designate a schedule for these, but right now they’re just whenever I feel like it. Or before I forget what movies I’ve seen. I say “so” a lot. :)


Kingsman: The Golden Circle

I had a ball with the first film (when I ignore the last scene) with its outlandish, but still very English, spin on spy movies. A circle is how the first half feels as well as being part of the tagline. After the initial action sequence that was a lot of fun, the film ping pongs across the globe and back again without doing a great job of setting up new characters and plot. I think it could have established things much quicker and simpler, giving the message about the war on drugs better service. I am also sad with how they seem to be changing locations to continue the franchise. Taron Egerton is still charming as hell.

Blade Runner 2049

Truth #1: I only saw this movie because I love Denis Villenueve. Like, to a level where I took a day off from work just so I could spend it watching all of his earlier films and shorts on Amazon (beware all you gals watching Polytechnique for  Evelyne Brochu). Truth #2: I don’t like the original Blade Runner. It’s gorgeous and I appreciate it for how it’s influenced so many films I DO love, but I get so frustrated with the plot, characters, and its portrayal of women (so rape-y). The sequel is basically rinse and repeat of the first for me. Women again barely have any agency or dimension, the future is as diverse as a vanilla wafer, and the plot - while, thankfully, has more going on than the original - is predictable and falls apart in retrospect. Truth #3: I don’t like Ryan Gosling. His acting…his face…nada, and I know I’m a minority among my kind with ovaries. The best part of this movie was the pre-show viewing of Ryan Gosling’s Acting Range.

Professor Marsten and The Wonder Women

What. A. Surprise. I, and most queer ladies with a Blockbuster card, go back with Angela Robinson from the D.E.B.S. days. Despite this affinity, I was not expecting this film to be as tight and…well-made as it was. The color script, the lighting, the dialogue, the acting…all gold stars. Rebecca Hall shines like a fucking beacon and I want her in everything (I’m still peeved at her being screwed by Iron Man 3). I don’t think there have been many mainstream depictions of polyamory and bdsm, but I can say it’s the best portrayal I’ve ever seen, and likely due to the fact that it was directed by a queer woman. Give it your money, we need more stories like these.

I, Tonya

Got to see an early screening of I, Tonya and it is a performance powerhouse. After 30 or so minutes, the actors ceased to be and all I saw were these flawed and, often, horrible people. As a kid I remember the Harding/Kerrigan scandal, but this film made me realize I knew absolutely nothing about Tonya’s life and how it got her to that absolutely insane turn of events. INSANE. Most of y’all probably wanna hear about Sebastian, so I’ll say dude delivers. He does so well as dumbo Jeff with that…that voice, that my ovaries inverted any time he opened his mouth, and something I never thought I’d say when he’s on screen. Moral of the story: stay in school, kiddos.


The Good Place

I only started watching this because I sent out a request for a light-hearted show, as one can only watch Parks & Rec to combat stress so many times. The Good Place was the most suggested by far. It’s got all my people behind it, but the ones that are in front of the camera are what I have issue with. The concept is SO fun, and the dialogue can be SO funny, but SO many times Bell and Danson fail to nail a joke, or timing, or expression. I’d be incredibly frustrated if I were a writer or director on this show. Someone show Danson clips of Jim Rash from Community, please. That’s all I want. I’m sticking with it because the plot is what’s most interesting and I want to see where it goes.

Voltron S4

Whaaaaaat was that?? No spoilers, but…I really don’t know what was going on in the writers’ room or the PTB who chose to potentially segment the series as it has. I was hoping charactesr would be more fleshed out and have more interesting dynamics with each other by now. I feel like we still know so little and rely on stereotypes with the characters, and emotions only operate in the extreme. I also wonder what the budget and scheduling is like and what constraints it’s adding to production. I felt S3 culminated into something pretty solid, so this felt like a step back in quality - as if they were forced to cut corners. SO many still characters with flapping lips and panning standing shots. The designs are so dang appealing and Studio Mir is so solid, that it was disappointing to see animation so trimmed down. Not to mention some early keys looked strangely off-model. Perhaps they had to contract out some animation…? I dunno, ya got some ‘splainin’ to do, Voltron.


Between the World and Me: Ta-nehisi Coates

Ok, so just about EVERY line in this book is worth quoting, sharing, and remembering. Mostly written as a letter to his teenage son regarding the world and his experience as a black man in America. Full of sadness, anger, hope, and despair for the past as well as future. Being a white girl from the suburbs,  I can’t begin to understand and fully know his experience, but I can be better about reading from perspectives that are not my own. I really need to pick up his take on Black Panther…


Latest trend is lady vocals over chill beats.

Say So - Terror Jr. (Vasco remix)

Baybee - Jay Som

Secret Garden - Soda Island & Izzard

heyassbuttcassbutt  asked:

So I saw your monster meta on Monster Movie (thanks btw, it was great). One thing about that episode that bothers me is that when Dean and Sam interview Anna-Marie she’s drinking this giant soda and Sam and Dean keep giving her these weird looks (like even before she says it’s a werewolf) and I just don’t get the point of the soda. If it meant nothing it would be a part of the setting instead of a prop and if it didn’t symbolize something it wouldn’t be so freaking huge, right? Any thoughts?

Hello my lovely!! 

Aw thanks so much, that means a lot! That meta was such a labour of love and it makes me incredibly happy to read that you enjoyed it!! Yayyyy for enjoyment! :)

So this was driving me crazy too, honestly, as I watched the episode and since there was sooooo much to write anyway and I couldn’t find the fucking thread for the giant ass soda and the giant ass beer (oh yeah, I’ll show you in a minute) I just left it well alone. Buttshake, guess what - you asking me this made the visual click in my noggin’. THANK YOU!

Because Monster Movie is all about Dean, right? (well yeah according to me it is anyway and… I mean it is, even if you disagree with my reading) 

And LOOK –>

*excited face like wide grin and raised eyebrows and HAHAHA sounds*


So Dean starts the trend of the Big Things Occupying Your Mouth Visual. And I’m so not sorry for calling this a “penis pretzel” anymore, because it fucking IS a visual aid to underline Dean’s dual personality: mainly that what he’s really trying to overcompensate for throughout this entire goddamn narrative is the fact that he is suddenly so fucking preoccupied with thoughts of dick, of one dick in particular. And that dick is linked to new feelings and that is SCARY AF. 

But COME ON Bob Singer, are you FOR REAL even? (I love this man)

So we get our first proper plant of Jamie saying “Gutten tag” and Dean responding with a slack-jawed “Gutten tag yourself” before exchanging a look with Sam like “Daaamnnnnn” and understandable, because Jamie is gorgeous. Sam spots the sheriff (one of our toxic masculinity representatives in this episode) and he says “Guess that’s our man” (and yes I could so go deep-diving into the feminine/masculine part of the planted visuals of this scene)…

…but let’s focus on Dean, who does this –>

I will never apologise for loving it when penis shaped food in the hands of Dean Winchester are being made to look like he’s giving it a blow job. 

What is all that fast food really about, Dean. Hmmmm? 

Anyway. Here’s the beautiful part. It is not just the penis pretzel that is a phallic symbol in this episode’s visual narrative.

Ed drinks beer from this –>

Yeah. This beer drove me crazy when I watched the episode again and again to write my meta, staring at this fucking scene without being able to actually visually tie it to Dean. It’s his narrative so I just felt there HAD to be a fucking reason for this being here - it is so OVERTLY phallic, and it did not click that the penis pretzel started out huge.

(subtle plant there for Cas’ package?) (or Dean’s desire for said package) 

Ok, it’s actually not sexual, sorry, must not joke (am so tired) - the phallic symbols are actually to do with Dean’s building fear at losing control of himself. The symbolism is here to push the theme of the narrative and is interestingly tying Dean to the man being judged by the sheriff as a nuisance, but empathised with by Jamie (who represents everything Dean needs to embrace to feel whole) 

But there is more! The root of your question, my dear! 

Because I bid you LOOK –>

That, my friends, is a blow job.

So here Dean is also linked (through starting the trend of Big Things Occupying Your Mouth Visual) with the girl giving this soda the time of its life. The girl who is a victim of her lying scumbag boyfriend. 

Or to be more specific, her toxic-masculinity-lies-to-get-in-bed-using-a-dated-ridiculous-line-of-how-men-need-sex-not-to-get-clogged-up-this-show-is-all-about-desconstructing-that-bullshit-sexist-idiocy-and-this-toxic-masculinity-representative-gets-fucking-killed-by-a-werefolf boyfriend. 

To summarise, Dean is linked to the guy who’s considered “weird”, a guy who is judged for it, and Dean is linked to the girl who is a victim of toxic masculinity. 

Yeah. That’s right. Like betcha by golly wow.

With the phallic plants, it’s like the narrative is taunting Dean for trying to overcompensate away from what’s stirring inside him, the way he can’t get Cas out of his head, by throwing the phallic symbols at him after he ate his penis pretzel completely unawares of this being what he was doing, subconsciously engaging with what he really wants while ogling Jamie and making a show of really, really wanting a girl. 

To me this is actually not about him being uncomfortable with his bisexuality. It has everything to do with him being absolutely averse to (because of his upbringing) and terrified by (because of his life history) the thought of feeling things too deeply. And whatever shit Cas is stirring up has the potential of being life changing. And Dean Winchester does not want to change an inch. So dude-bro performing side is kicking up a right fuss going PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY. (Dean’s subconscious whispering dick dick dick)

Oh my God my brain is fried, I wish I could be more articulate for you, but do you get what I’m saying here?

Dean’s the one with dick on the brain - in the most romantic sense of the word - and, at least how I see it, these visuals serve as a very subtle way of informing us of that.

Bob Singer is such a fucking master.

And thanks again and again for focusing me with this question! You just helped me deepen my 4x05 meta! *heart eyes your way*

Oh, let me add this as well: how can we know the beer and the humungous soda aren’t just, idk, for funsies? To me the answer is - the way Ed and Girl drink them. Ed drinks from that huuuuuge cumbersome thing twice and very deliberately, while Girl slurps and slurps and slurps. I mean… It’s only funny if you’re in on the joke and those visual plants don’t make me laugh, they make me frown and wonder why the hell they’re even there. So that’s my reason for thinking they are planted as more than just a visual woah-big-things-should-seem-ridiculous-for-no-reason-and-make-you-giggle. :)


i was thinking, if i made a part 3 of reputation would you guys read it if i made a plot twist that stan used to really like the reader but hid how he felt after he found out about all the things she’d done? like, look at how stan looks at beverly with utter disgust because he believed all the rumours about her.

so, idk. everyone has been asking for a part 3 of reputation and it’s kind of difficult to come up with ideas, but i feel like if i did something like this i could make a lot more parts to it? basically it would kind of turn into a love triangle?? 

anonymous asked:

One of the very best, most favourite things about CN is that Steve doesn't just treat Tony better than society dictates behind closed doors. He doesn't ask Tony to pretend outside the confines of their home that they're a typical couple. He demands the world treat Tony better. He'd rather change society than for Tony to think he should change. I love that so much.

I do, too!  I think that for Steve there, and he kind of talks about it a bit in the Epilogue, he knows he chose Tony in large part because of those things about Tony that he knows he has in himself. They are both a lot alike in many ways.  And for him, I think part of his nature was always a desire to take care of whoever might be his Omega, that this is somewhat innate, but when you push that with the serum and with his inherent Steve-ness, it very much means taking care of Tony the way Tony needs to be taken care of.

I think a bit about how as a parent, you have to parent to your individual child’s needs.  Not to make it a paternalistic relationship, but I think Steve sort of Alphas to his Omega’s particular needs, and if Tony needs the world to be better or needs to be Iron Man or whatever, then Steve has this whole internal determination to make it happen that is amped-up to the nth degree.

anonymous asked:


Ahhhh~ I would die happy if I got to bury my face in Bokuto’s back <3 He’s my total beefy babe tbh – I think I love him more than all the other characters of Haikyuu!!!! (scandalous!!!!) Anyway, I’m sorry for the long wait! I hope you enjoy what I’ve come up for you and thanks for requesting like a century ago ;D – Admin Satori <3

Bokuto Koutarou:

Training camps were always a pain, for the most part. Sore muscles, long exercises, lots of bruises and strained hamstrings. Bokuto really loved volleyball with his whole heart and soul, but he knew when he was getting irritated and depressed at his efforts going unnoticed by the unforgiving sport.

But this training camp was different!

You’d come along with him this time!

The moment you’d told him you were going to the training camp with him, as moral support, he’d immediately erupted in cheers and had peppered your face in a million kisses. And, yes, he had counted the kisses. He had to properly repay you for your kindness after all.

He’d seen you come in and out of the gym, standing on the sidelines and cheering him on during practice, giving out the bottles of water to each of his teammates and himself. He’d given you a hug each time he’d come off the court, and, each time, you complained about the amount of sweat he was drenching you in. But he’d see your smile or feel you giggling against his chest and he’d know that you didn’t really mind the sweat.

But it’d been about 2 hours since he’d seen you in the gym, and it was getting a little late for someone as small and as adorable as you to be walking around without an escort. Him, specifically.

He knew you liked to come and go as you pleased, so he didn’t really question it too much – Kuroo had caught his attention and pulled him into the 3rd gym, where he’d also recruited his two favorite first years from Karasuno, his own bumbling wanna-be Ace, and Bokuto’s favorite setter.


The sound of Bokuto’s spike hitting the floor echoed through the gym above Kuroo’s frustrated groan.

“Ahaha! HEY HEY HEY!” Bokuto cheered happily, sticking his tongue out at Kuroo, who was pouting to himself about the missed block. “Come on, Kuroo! Where’s your game today? Forget it back at Nekoma?” Bokutoa teased, feeling his confidence soaring.

“Yeah, yeah, lucky shot, Bo. Try it again, see if you get through so easily.” Kuroo smirked as he stood tall on his side of the net, his hands on his hips and a challenge in his dark gold eyes.

Bokuto bristled a bit at the challenge, “What? You don’t think I can? I did it during practice today, and I can do it aga-“

Bokuto almost fell forward into the net at the feeling of something colliding with his back. He thought it was Akaashi throwing a volleyball at him to get him to stop shit talking and focus. But he distinctly heard Akaashi’s shoes squeaking towards the bench for his water bottle. And it hadn’t been Hinata, because he was in Bokuto’s line of sight being taunted by Lev and his overconfidence in his shit receives. He felt small hands lay over his stomach and a face being pressed into his back.

“Oh?” Bokuto raised his eyebrows, looking through Kuroo as he felt your body pressing back against his, “____! What a surprise! I was wondering where you went off to! You missed it, I spiked the HELL out of this ball right past Kuroo! It’s like Kuroo didn’t even know what he was doing!” Bokuto laughed loudly, sticking his tongue out at Kuroo as his best friend waved him off with a placating smile before walking over to Kenma to bother him.

But you didn’t respond with the usual excitement at his news. You didn’t react at all, really. He frowned a bit and squeezed your hands in his. But your only response was to move your hands to fully grasp his, intertwining your fingers with his and pressing your face further into his back.

Bokuto frowned a bit, not liking that you were seemingly ignoring him while right there behind him. “____? Did you hear me? I kicked Kuroo’s ass! I got my ball to fly right by his dumb face!” Bokuto smiled a bit, but felt it fall immediately after when he only heard silence from your end. “____? Are you okay?” He asked quietly.

Finally, you’d had enough time to compose yourself, and you pulled away from his back as he turned around to face you properly. The wetness on your face could easily be explained away as his sweaty back (gross lmao), and the redness could be from the cool air nipping at your bare face outside. You gave your boyfriend a wide smile, “That’s wonderful, Kou! You’re so amazing!” You cheered softly, keeping your arms wrapped around his middle and resting your chin on his chest.

He wasn’t buying it though, and he cupped your face before leaning down and giving a wonderfully soft, tender kiss to your lips. He knew something was wrong, but he didn’t really know how to ask, he’d never been good with words or with delving into your emotions. He was an emotional wreck, 24/7, without any inhibitions to hold back how he feels about any number of subjects. But you’d always been the cool headed one, always kept your calm. You were his anchor on reality when he got too worked up about the silliest things. And that’s why he loved you with all his heart.

But it all came crashing down right then as he realized… he’d never even thought you felt things on the same intensity as he did. He’d probably never even thought that you, also, had feelings that swayed your decisions erratically. Maybe not as erratically as his, no one felt as strongly as Bokuto when he was in one of his moods. Bokuto felt his heart drop to his stomach, and you could tell there was something wrong with him now as he turned his eyes to look at the space just above your eyes.

You, always thinking about the other person over your own well being, felt a quiet panic rise in your heart as his shaken face, and you pulled your hands from around his middle to place over his on your cheeks, “Kou? That’s amazing, Kou, sweetheart. You slammed that ball down right next to Kuroo-san!” You gave him a wide smile, pushing your own feelings away for the moment, there was plenty of time to go through your own issues when Bokuto wasn’t around. The moment he saw you struggling with your own erratic feelings was the moment, you thought, he wouldn’t need you anymore.

Oh… how wrong you were.

I think I'm gonna delete

It sucks, especially after 801 lovely followers, but this isn’t working for me anymore.

I originally made this blog for two reasons. One was to include non monosexual lgbt concepts in rpg culture. A lot of representation I had seen in rpgs was gay characters and while I love that, bi, ace, pan, and so on exist as well.

Secondly, it seemed like a kind and friendly community and I wanted to be a part of it. Was I just hopping on the bandwagon? Absolutely, but it seemed like a fun bandwagon to be on and it wasn’t hurting anyone.

Since then, the community has had drama with antisemitism, transphobia, and more that I actively chose to stay away from. The discord that we have has felt less like a community and more like a gathering of strangers, even though the people haven’t changed.

I’ve been having trouble keeping up with ideas, and I rarely get submissions. Thus most of my posts are personal or discourse based and that’s unfair to my followers

Plus, I’m starting to have a falling out with DnD

I’ve only ever been a DM, and my PC that I was planning never got to be because the player who’s character was crucial to mine lost muse (I don’t blame them at all for that of course) and it’s beginning to feel more like anxiety and stress just for the sake of watching four other people have fun.

Anyway, no one asked for this rant and I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t feel right leaving without a good bye

I don’t want to make a decision like this while upset though, I’ll wait until I’m more rational to decide.

If you have any submissions, send them in now. I’ll keep posting them up until deactivation

the-beautiful-annabel-lee  asked:

I am so sorry if you get asked this a lot, but are planning on doing commissions soon? Because your art is absolutely amazing and I would love to get something done by you!

No I’m not unfortunately! I have no time at all, I’m full time in college and work two part time jobs so it’s not really an option for me!

anonymous asked:

Glad you are back to answering asks! Can I ask why you closed the shipper forum?

Sure, but be aware that it opened up again about a week later completely restructured.  The way it was organized was leaving people who were there to enjoy their ships as targets for people who came into under the guise of   “debate” because we had broad general threads for couples where everything about that couple could be discussed. The rules for the section created a lot of loopholes. We have never had love/hate threads so they were open to everyone. The other part of that is that there are also people who are ultra-sensitive about their ships and reacted poorly sometimes.  So we simplified the rules, strengthened the penalties for frivolous reporting, made some changes in the thread structure to narrow the topics and gave shippers a place where they don’t have to worry as much about someone raining on their parade.  

anonymous asked:

I love that this blog is black girl friendly

Yep, that’s what made me want to be a part of this blog. I read a lot of fanfiction and it’s nice to be able to imagine yourself in the story without having to ignore certain very blatant details.

~Mod Lillian

memento-amare  asked:

Aw, Clen! I am sorry that you were hurt today. Just remember that anybody who would talk shit about you was never your friend to begin with, honey, so if they come back around don't let their shady asses back. I love you, sweetie, and if I could be there to cuddle and comfort you I would, but I am several states away so this ask is gonna have to do. I hope you feel better and the wounds in your heart heal quickly 💜💜💜💜

The worst part is it wasn’t stupid insults, this stuff hit deep. I talk a lot to my peers about how I’m always up late, because I AM.. ( I stay up late to write and get my homework done, and they just can’t grasp that because they think they are fucking perfect and that I shouldn’t have to be up until 3:00am to do the shit they can do in minutes) These few people basically snorted at that and called me saying I’m up late working an excuse. It touched deep because I can’t tell back and say that I feel like shut all day and me staying up late and reading and or writing and doing homework is the only time of the day in fucking enjoy and they severely hurt my feelings over this.

They also talked about how I always say “fund the theater department” and such. My school just barely started funding the drama department and I joked about it for a couple of days, but everyone basically knows that’s where I spend a lot of my time, with the drama department . They basically mocked how I talk in annoying voices and insulted my interests and the fact that I’m willing to fight for what I believe in and that struck pretty deep.

Lastly, one person even said, and I quote, “does anyone even care about Clen?” And that one killed. I have self doubts, too many for my own good, and this person brought them all forward and basically smashed any sense of self confidence I used to have. The worst part is, I’m pretty sure more people than I know pitched in and i think the people I used to trust I can’t anymore. I don’t know if there is a single person at my school anymore who I can now look in the eye and think that I trust them.

I’m just drowning in feelings right now and these people made it worse and I don’t know what to do expect just block myself off. It hurts, and they don’t give a shit and that hurts worse.