I need to take a little break from playing & posting. My mental health is a mess, I’m not taking care of myself property and I’m sleeping from 8am till 5pm which means I never get dressed I just hang out in gross pj’s eating trash food, crying all the time. I’m gonna try and spend little to no time on the computer, read a little. Read some inspiration weight loss stories, drink tea, take walks and colour. I download the app Headspace to try out meditation.
Today sucked. No other way to put it. There are going to be days like this. There’s unfortunately no getting around that.
I was feeling down. I had gotten hit with that one thing too much: that one comment, that one post, that one action that compacted everything into a huge ball of hurt. To be honest, I was contemplating stepping away for a while; taking a break and deciding if this was all worth it. I write because it makes me happy, and if this was the result… I got off Tumblr and busied myself the rest of the night. I needed a break from drawing and decided to tempt fate and come back for a few minutes.
Holy cats, you guys…never would I have ever expected…
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much for all the kind words. I really can’t express how much they mean to me. I’m literally crying right now and I can assure you that is not something I do easily.
Today sucked but today was also an amazing reminder that while sometimes things seem bad, there is always good to even it out.
Otabek and Yuri had been dating for a year when it happened. Worlds rolled around, and they were competing against JJ, because of course they were competing against the insufferable prat. Otabek had nearly stumbled in a jump that would have cost him a spot on the podium, but managed to right himself and perform the rest of his free skate perfectly. In the end, it was the three of them - Yuri won gold, JJ silver, and Otabek bronze. The moment the posing and posturing was over, Yuri jumped off of the tall tier into Otabek’s waiting arms, his legs straddling the other man as Yuri planted a kiss on him, laughing as the cameras flashed all around them.
They were in high spirits when it came time to mingle with the press and potential sponsors at the banquet, joking and laughing. No one had truly seen Yuri Plisetsky smile until he and Otabek began dating. They loosened each other up in a way that no one would really understand, but many appreciated, especially Yakov for having a slightly-less-prickly skater to contend with. Most of the time, anyway.
Dinner was nearly over when Yuri nudged Otabek’s shoulder and nodded his head in the direction of the corner of the room where JJ stood alone, drinking yet another glass of champagne. The Canadian figure skater hadn’t been his usual happy-go-lucky cheerful self, though he could certainly fake it to please the press.
I thought we were cool. I thought we had a thing here. What happened to Margarita Zone?
I’m absolutely baffled by the love you guys have shown for my closet cosplay of Joseph! So here’s a little something extra - aka two more pics I took yesterday that turned out alright. (aka I want to unlock the cult ending so bad lol). This is my cosplay account, but sometimes I post stuff over at my main blog @deathtableau too since i have more followers there (so that’s why I have pics up on both accounts).
Ignis & reader + "The irony of the situation is not lost on me"
I normally keep my ‘readers’ gender neutral, but I made this one a female reader, I hope that was ok. *suddenly very nervous*
“Hey, Ignis,” you called from the kitchen. The sun was
barely up, but you knew he was already stationed at his desk, fingers tracing
the raised dots of Braille.
“Will you come with me to choose an outfit for the Dawn
Ball?” You froze, halfway through making his coffee for him – a treat you had
only just been allowed to graduate to making. It was probably the last thing he’d
want to do.
“Come with you?”
You deflated, grateful at least that he couldn’t see your
reaction. “Yeah,” you said, filling the French press with just-boiled water and
setting the cap on while it brewed. You moved through the house and came to a
halt in his study doorway. Leaning on the woodwork, you sighed. “You think you
can take an hour or two off to come into town with me and help me? I promise
the country won’t fall apart while you do…”
When he paused uncertainly, you stepped inside and ran a
hand through his thick, grey hair. “I can’t see how I would be any help at
all,” he said, taking his eye-shield off. You knew it was only to prove a point,
although he did take the opportunity to rub at the old scar around his left eye.
Milky irises stared blankly back at you from his scarred
face when he was done. “Just being there will help me for a start,” you said.
“You know how I get in crowds, and anyway, it’ll be fun…” Your tone was perhaps
overly bright, because Ignis scoffed. You sighed, “Your coffee will be ready,”
you said, turning on your heel and returning to the kitchen. “I just thought
it’d make a nice change of scene,” you said, somewhat stiffly.
When you returned, Ignis was leaning back in his chair,
unseeing eyes locked on the ceiling, eye-shield twirling idly between elegant
fingers. “You’re right,” he said. “I’ve been walled up in here too long. I’ll
come with you.”
He inhaled the rich scent of the coffee and you left him,
smiling, with his prize.
Ignis hated crowds almost as much as you did, but at least
people tended to move around him when they saw the cane he used in unfamiliar
places. Though, by the fourth dress shop you tried, his patience was beginning
to run thin, and you were worried you should have just left him at home. You
hid it from him as best you could.
His phone went as you stood in the changing rooms in the
final dress. You knew this was the one. He was going to love it. Tactile, with
lace and some sturdier fabric to contrast, revealing his favourite corners and
curves of your body: it was perfect.
“Gladio,” Ignis said as he recognised the voice on the other
end. “I’m actually out helping to choose a dress for the Dawn Ball… Yes… I
know, well, the irony of the situation is not lost on me.”
You watched as his ears caught the heavy sigh that escaped
Ignis hated it. Hated shopping, and he hated all the
reminders of things he couldn’t see anymore. Insecurities piled up inside you.
What if he came to hate you for all those reminders too?
You bit your lip and played your final card. You approached
him and slid your hand into his while he still held the phone in his other. You
placed his hand right on your chest, and watched as his lips parted and he
inhaled softly in surprise at your open boldness. He played his fingers over
the neckline, and then down the shoulders. He seemed to sculpt you into being again
as he explored you.
You heard Gladio asking him something on the other end, but
Ignis had stopped listening. His hand had found the curve of your ass.
“Ignis?” you heard
“Hmm? Oh, sorry,” Ignis chimed. “I do believe we’ve found
the definitive dress.”
Gladio’s laughter carried over the speaker, but you didn’t
hear what he said in response.
“Indeed,” Ignis chuckled. “You’ll see for yourself at the
ball what a lucky man I am.”
You knew you looked
good when you walked through the gilded doors of the old palace ballroom with
Ignis, but what made you feel good
was the way Ignis held your arm. He squeezed his fingers just once, leaning in
close and whispering, “No matter how many people ask you to dance, will you
save the last one for me?”
“Iggy, there are only three other people in this room I would
dance with other than you. Gladio, Prompto, and Iris.”
He laughed, bright and surprisingly loud.
Gladio pushed his way over to you and whistled
appreciatively. Prompto stood beside him and also paid you a compliment, though
with a bit more stutter and a bit less smirk than Gladio, and then turned to
Ignis. “Iggy, they’re ready for you to give the welcome speech,” he said.
Ignis nodded and allowed Prompto to lead him to the small
You couldn’t help crying as you heard Ignis speaking of the
late king, of his sacrifice to return the dawn to the land, of the love he had
for his people and his friends, of the hopes he harboured, and the dreams he
As Ignis returned to you when it was all over, Prompto passed
his arm to you, and you gripped Ignis’ hand tightly as though trying to quell
the tremors in his. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I couldn’t have done that
without knowing you were there listening, and wearing that beautiful dress as
“What about picturing your audience naked?” you grinned.
He snorted suddenly. “Oh, I’m not sure I’d have got very far
if I’d done that, darling,” he chuckled. “I’ll save that for later. Now, might
I have this dance?”
Selfish Machines is the second studio album by American rock band Pierce the Veil, released by Equal Vision on June 22, 2010.
Produced by Vic Fuentes and Mike Green, it was recorded between late 2009 and early 2010.
alright guys, starting today, I’m gonna actually be logging off. my queue is still filled and I still expect to be tagged in stuff for when I come back, but I need to give myself some time away from this site. I love you all to death and I’m gonna miss you insanely. I just need to recharge so I can feel less like a zombie, especially for gay august. so although I’ll be gone until then, I’m gonna be coming back with a vengeance, don’t you forget it. I love you all to bits.