all of u r discussing yoongi as a dom or sub and his sex life but listen u are truly ignoring what u should really love this man for. this man deadass said that he reads ikea catalogs in his free time which means one of two things. a) he lied for the laughs but still thats such a weird ass statement or b) this man knows so much about nordic furniture. i love him. i want a man like him
(A/N): lmao this isn’t Marvel. Nope it is not because I do and can write other things. Kind of. Hey, this might end well because I used to learn German but do not expect much.
Oh, you write for dear Jackaboy? Would you mind writing something in which Reader is the most subscribed German Youtuber (like Jack is the most subscribed Irish one) and his girlfriend and they play something together with Mark and Pewds (preferably Prop Hunt) and every time she dies, she cusses the boys out in German? Calling them things like Pissnelke (Piss Carnation) and Arschgesicht (Ass Face). Yes, those are real German insults. Thanks in advance!
Warnings: Boi there will be multi bilingual swearing up in here
“Hallo!” (Y/n) greeted eagerly, gesturing toward her set up camera “I am here, again. Back with my lovely friend Felix. And two other idiots, I don’t know, they kind of just joined…” she mumbled the last part into her microphone and snickered to herself.
“Ouch,” Mark cried and Jack laughed “You could at least introduce me as your boyfriend…” Mark faked wiping a tear to his own camera; a big grin upon his face already.
“Oi!” Jack called “That’s my line you twit.”
“Alright, alright, no fights guys,” Felix mocked, giving his own shit eating grin to his setup camera “I am the favourite so I make the rules.”
“God has spoken.” (Y/n) added. Currently starring at the loading screen of Prop Hunt, she were surprised as to how much already happened without the game even being loaded yet.
“Lmao, you guys are fucked.” she said cockily, glancing into her camera, once the game finally loaded.
“MISS (YOUTUBE NAME), THE ONE AND OnLY!” Felix called into his mic, exactly after your statement. “THE MOsT SUBSCRIBED GERMAN YOUTUBER.. even though she doesn’t have an accent, like what, totally fake fan… IS ABOUT TO GET. HER ASS HANDED TO HER. ON A SILVER PLATTER.”
She couldn’t help but shake her head and chuckle quaintly, as Mark bellowed with laughter and was quick to agree.
“Don’t be touching her ass, mate,” Jack warned “I know where you live.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING?!” (Y/n) yelled as she died quickly. “Who just goes around and shoots every fucking mug??!”
“Uh ha, this guy.” Mark stated smugly “Now where, oh where, is your leprechaun boyfriend?”
She twisted her face “Mark, I want you to know that you are a huge arschgesicht, and we are no longer friends”
“A what?” He asked and looked directly into his camera.
Felix couldn’t help but spit before chuckling soundly, shaking his character’s gun a bit and looking at his camera as he laughed.
“Whaaat? What does that mean?” Mark whined and turned back to his game.
❆ ❆ ❆
“Honey, I’m sorry it has to be this way.” Jack said, hurt lacing his voice but masked by a grin beginning to form on his bearded face.
“No you’re not! Let me live, holy shit.”
Her lamp couldn’t seem to move fast enough as she shifted her way through furniture and debris; away from Jack’s hunter.
“I love you!” she called
“Love ya’ too!” Jack said back and blew a kiss at his camera.
“Oh you fucking lustmolch…” (Y/n) finally insulted once she got shot. She pouted into her camera.
“Fookin’ what?” Jack repeated, laughing unsurely.
“Fucking slut you are Jack.” Felix breathed out after laughing again. He glanced at his camera and winked “Ah, (Y/n), if you were here, I’d give you a highfive.” and he chuckled some more.
❆ ❆ ❆
“So all I learned from today was that both Mark and my own boyfriend are both asshats,” (Y/n) started “and that Feli’ is my only true friend.”
Felix’s character was sat on top of (Y/n)’s chair in the middle of the kitchen.
“That’s right.” Felix smiled and shot at her character until she died. “Love ya’.”
“You goddamn pissnelke!” (Y/n) laughed and the round ended.
“HeY!” Felix began to laugh as well, with Mark and Jack joining in. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth!”
❆ ❆ ❆
“Okay my friend’s, that was Prop Hunt with the Holy Threesome.” (Y/n) smiled at her camera.
“Hey!” Jack and Mark said in unison, over top of Felix saying ‘kinky’.
“You learned that Mark and Jack are untrustable bastards and Felix can speak German!” she snickered.
“Ja.” the swede agreed heartily.
“So until next time; click this,” she gestured to the air on her right “to see my previous video. And any of these links to check out Mark’s, Jack’s or Felix’s channels.” she gestured to her left “Have a lovely evening!” she said finally.
“Bye!”your three friends said as well, in mock of a German accent.
“Oh my g–”
_____ (A/N): So there’s that. I really actually liked the request and so I hope this story maybe did it justice. Thank you for reading!
i’m so fucking happy i chose to be a Matt blog. out of all of the Baloney Bunch, he’s the only one who is acting somewhat kind towards Dom. he’s called out harassment a few times and I just wish he’d take action.
he may be boring, he may only wear 2 shirts, but Silver Fox Furniture Daddy Matthew Clines OWNS THIS ASS.
yoonkook drabble inspired by yoonkook asking if they should do lamb skewers business together lmffkdjs and yoongi’s parents being like NOPE
“ahhhh i really wanted to do it!” jungkook flops onto his back, rolling round on the couch. yoongi pulls his headphones down.
“we can still do it,” he turns in his chair, hands folded in his lap. jungkook squirms onto his side, cheek smushed against the couch arm, glasses slightly askew; it’s cute. yoongi clears his throat. “i mean, it’s not like we’d be doing it for a while either way. it’s not really up to them to decide.” at this, jungkook extends one arm and waves a finger in a ‘no no’ fashion. yoongi’s brows rise.
“nope,” jungkook finally gives up and sits upright like a sort of normal human being, folding his legs underneath himself. “i know you care what they think,” he holds his hand up when yoongi opens his mouth to argue, “which’s good. i care too. and the furniture thing could be fun.”
yoongi sputters. “i was joking.”
“but you weren’t joking about the restaurant?”
“well, no,” if yoongi could back-pedal on a rolling chair he would; but the back of it is already against his desk. he blinks. “would you really want to?”
jungkook rolls his eyes and considers throwing a pillow at yoongi except that might be hazardous for all his equipment, so jungkook just stares at him. he thinks about the yoongi who used to hold him in the dance practice room when he’d fall asleep by accident; he thinks about yoongi grinning at him during their recent choreography break together, his hand at the back of his neck like it belongs there. he thinks about yoongi as he is now, his favorite version because it is also yoongi’s favorite version of himself – in his finest element; creating. he thinks about how he loves him, because that’s definitely what it is and jungkook has grown into himself now enough to know it. and it’s funny, how he can have his little crushes on the others too – because he loves them also, is inhumanly fond of all of them; and well why wouldn’t he be? they have only ever been there for him; and isn’t that everything? with yoongi it is different though.
the idea of a business together means the idea of a future together, beyond bangtan for all that jungkook wants this to last forever too.
the idea is: not having to say goodbye.
so when he asks yoongi if he’s serious, the smile he sends him is very serious – seriously warm, seriously open, seriously in love.
he watches carefully, the slight glare of the light caught on his own glasses doing nothing to obscure a flicker of something like comprehension that appears and disappears so fast, if jungkook had not been looking so closely, he would have missed it; but he sees it. he waits.
yoongi shifts in his chair, hands going to his knees. he’s nervous. jungkook wonders if that’s good or bad.
“of course i want to,” jungkook gets off the couch and stands so near to yoongi that they’re touching – barely but very all at once. jungkook imagines being bolder, imagines pushing yoongi’s beanie up off of his hair and watching the unruly light blue fall into his perfect dark eyes, imagines maybe kneeling down in front of him just to make a point or pulling yoongi up just to make another point; but it’s imagination and jungkook is not bolder, not yet. he’s just what he is right now: in love and knows he’s in love and likes to be close. it’s enough. for now. yoongi surprises him by leaning up to fix jungkook’s glasses, his fingertips grazing his skin brief warm and wanted when he lowers his hand.
“it doesn’t have to be furniture either,” yoongi more or less blurts out – the way you do when you’re so nervous you just let the first thing that comes to mind be what you say. all in all, it could be worse. yoongi could have said one of the other things on the heels of that thought, things like: that makes me happy, you make me happy, 'we’ make me happy. things yoongi knew but never consciously Thought and now that he’s thinking it, well. he looks away but the soft burn in his cheeks is there anyway; stupid complexion.
but when jungkook laughs he looks back up, his own smile suddenly there because jungkook’s joy is contagious. that’s something they all agree on. just the other day he’d been in namjoon’s studio, giving input where he wanted it and where he didn’t, saw the picture of all seven of them on his desk, picked it up and said: “we’re good now aren’t we.” namjoon pulled him in by his waist like the old friend he is and said,
“yep,” then asked why yoongi thought the transition in the current track needed to be moved.
a little after that they heard jungkook’s laughter. they know each other well enough to recognize that’s jungkook’s 'i’m watching something funny on my phone while walking down the hallway despite all the hazards that come with that’ laugh. namjoon chuckled and yoongi shook his head and namjoon said without any prompting, “love that kid.”
yoongi didn’t notice his own words as much as namjoon did when he murmured, “yeah….same.”
now, watching jungkook bubble over with brightness, yoongi sees parts of all of them in how he ducks his head, how he can laugh with his whole body, how he curls his fingers, how he emanates an invigorating sort of love that says: if you’re doing good, i’m good too.
yoongi considers the probability of being in love.
“maybe we’ll do both,” jungkook says and locks his hands behind his back like a child, bending forward so that his face is level with yoongi’s, and it’d be both easy and hard to kiss him. yoongi wants to, isn’t as shocked by it as he might have been a couple years ago; but he doesn’t. instead he reaches a hand up to card through jungkook’s hair, ruffling it just this side of playful and adoring, hums a thoughtful sound and says,
“maybe we will.”
a moment passes. jungkook’s glasses slide down his nose. yoongi fixes them again, gently recedes…only to pull jungkook along with him by his wrist. at his desk he lifts his headphones off his own neck and puts them on jungkook; one ear still lifted, he says,
“not sure about this one. might be pretty good in the end but the foundation’s got to have more melody…ah anyway…” he smiles, all teeth this time, taps the side of jungkook’s neck and looks back at the screen as he hits play and says softly,“let me know.”