i love this film but i never see it on tumblr

I’ve seen a lot of people struggle with the idea of Compulsory Heterosexuality, especially in wondering wether they might be a lesbian, and what the signs of compulsory heterosexuality are. I decided to make this post, to help out anyone who might need it.
Some of these signs might apply more to bi-identifying women, and some of them might apply more to straight-identifying women. I asked both lesbians who used to think they were straight about their experience with comp het and lesbians who used to think they were bi about their experience with comp het, and of course added my own experiences. Warnings: mentions of sex and sexual fantasies, but nothing graphic.
Special thanks to michael @snugly and all other bloggers that answered my questions and let me use their content for this post - your advice, patience and generosity means a lot to me. 

You might be a lesbian if:

  • You wish you were a lesbian so you could escape the discomfort of dating men.
  • Men are okay in theory but terrible in practice.
  • You feel like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman.
  • You feel like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman.
  • You lose interest in a man as soon as they seem interested in you - very common.
  • You find yourself trying to be romantically or sexually appealing to men even if you’re not interested in them.
  • As a child you always thought you’d either never get married or platonically marry a friend.
  • You can’t imagine having a happy and fulfilling future with a man.
  • You feel like you’re performing your attraction to men, for yourself and/or other people.
  • You expect relationships with men to be unfulfilling by default.
  • You like the idea of men being attracted to you, but you dislike the idea of being attracted to men.
  • You dislike being attracted to men in general.
  • You only notice the attractiveness of a man when someone else points it out.
  • You think your feelings for women don’t count, or that all women have feelings “like that” but that they’re not valid because you think it’s a phase everyone goes through.
  • You don’t want to date men, but you feel like you have to.
  • You think that because you could survive dating, marrying, and/or having sex with a man, you’re attracted to men (hint: you don’t have to settle for just surviving).
  • You think it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men. 
  • The men in your fantasies are faceless or symbolise an emotion. 
  • You don’t like fantasising about men. After fantasising about men you feel uncomfortable or wrong.
  • When fantasising about men, you’re not really into the man in your fantasy, or the fantasy itself. You imagine another woman in place of yourself or imagine that you’re the man in the fantasy.
  • Lesbian or gay feels like the label for you but you still doubt yourself for whatever reason. 
  • You’re only attracted to fictional men, celebrities, or man that are completely unattainable (i.e. your teacher, gay men, men in established relationships). Basically, you only like men if it’s impossible for them to like you back - very common.
  • You prefer/are exclusively attracted to “feminine” men, (i.e. men that wear traditionally feminine clothing, have traditionally feminine behaviors or appearances, and like traditionally feminine things) basically you only like men if they’re “womanly” enough. 
  • You’re repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”.
  • You think you might commitment-phobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when the time comes to escalate it.
  • When you do escalate a relationship with a man, you do it mostly because you feel like he wants to, or because it’s the appropriate thing to doy.
  • You think your interest in seeing attractive women stems from the sexualisation and objectification of women in media.
  • You think all straight women feel attraction to women to at least some extent (hint: 100% straight women do exist).
  • You think you have to learn how to love men. 
  • You find yourself wishing you were a lesbian because it’d be so much easier to just be with women for the rest of your life. 
  • You think men-attracted women over-exaggerate their attraction to men and you can’t comprehend finding a man as attractive as they do. 
  • You can’t imagine being so invested in a man/relationship with a man or valuing a man/relationship with a man as much as men-attracted women.
  • You dread the idea of a future with a man.
  • Men expressing their attraction to men is more relatable than women expressing their attraction for men (there’s something specific about same-gender attraction that any form of it is just more relatable than different gender attraction).
  • You think you just have to give men a chance. 
  • You feel very uncomfortable reading or watching m/f erotica, or even just general m/f romantic interactions.
  • Other people tell you you’re acting like an over-invested lesbian ally or you feel like you are acting like an over-invested lesbian ally. 
  • You think your relationships with men don’t work out because you’re bad at relationships in general.
  • You think you just have high standards and that’s why you don’t want to date any men.
  • You think you’re just a late bloomer and will be attracted to men eventually.
  • You just. Pick a dude at random to be attracted to. 
  • The only men you’re attracted to are those who hurt you, harass you, or abuse you. 
  • You think it’s impossible for lesbians to have a happy future with women but you think you could be the exception to the rule (this ties in with internalised homophobia). 
  • Do you love them because they’re your boyfriend or are they your boyfriend because you love them? If it’s the first, you might not actually be attracted to them.
  • You go through past memories trying to prove your attraction to men (”But I had a boyfriend when I was 13!”).
  • You put yourself through having romantic or sexual relationships with men to prove to yourself and other people that you’re attracted to men. 
  • You know that lesbians exist but you think you can’t possibly be one of them because if you were, you’d know already - very common
  • You think you’re attracted to men but just don’t want to date them.
  • You don’t like kissing/touching/having sex with your husband/boyfriend or you’re not attracted to your husband/boyfriend but it must be because he’s not the one for you (or another excuse). 
  • Most of your experiences with men are/were men being attracted to you, and you sort of going along with it. 
  • You only develop attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to them. 
  • You find yourself wishing you could just have one hot fling with a woman just to try it out, or fantasise about it. 
  • You think attraction is just “not being disgusted by a man”.
  • You enjoy consuming f/f erotica a lot more than any other type, and find fantasising about women a lot more satisfying than any other fantasy. 
  • You crave “platonic” physical contact with your female friends but wish that men would just leave you alone.
  • You’re only attracted to men whose attention would somehow be profitable (i.e. men in positions of power such as your boss).
  • Deciding who to be attracted to, or asking people who you should crush on.
  • You try to pursue your feelings for other women through going on “platonic dates” with women and “practising on women”. 
  • You think you’re too young/busy to be attracted to men or have a fulfilling relationship with a man. 
  • “I would totally date [x woman] if they were a guy!! ! !!”
  • You have abstract crushes that you don’t actually want to progress into romantic and/or sexual relationships - very common.
  • You date men because it’s what you’re supposed to do, and stay with them because you can’t find a good reason to break up.
  • You really want to be a lesbian and only date women but feel like you can’t because of some lingering, vague idea of attraction to men, but the idea of dating a man is distressing, gross, upsetting, boring, unsatisfying or makes you feel trapped.
  • Being very specific with the men you’re “interested” in but having absolutely no type when it comes to girls because they’re all so beautiful.
  • Your favourite character in every show is that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (examples: Shego from Kim Possible, Spinelli from Recess, Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica).
  • You wish your boyfriend/husband was more like a female friend.
  • You can flip on your attraction to men like a switch - very common.

These are the most common signs of comp het, but there are other ways comp het manifests than just these ways! You don’t have to relate to all of these to identify as a lesbian.
You might be reading this and start to question yourself. This is okay. I recommend emerging yourself in sapphic content to normalise the idea of f/f attraction. Try reading f/f (fan)fiction or novels, watching films and/or tv shows with f/f couples, and following some lesbian/sapphic themed accounts here on tumblr and other platforms (beware of terfs! check a persons account befor you follow them). Other than that, I’d like to assure you that even though you currently have a boyfriend, a husband, or had one in the past, that this does not make you any less of a lesbian. If you’ve had sex with men, you’re not any less of a lesbian. You can still be a lesbian if you’re a trans woman or a nonbinary woman-aligned person, or if you feel connected to womanhood through your love of other women. Lesbian is not a dirty word and you are beautiful. 
If you have any further inquiries or questions, don’t hesitate to shoot me an ask! I’ll be happy to answer all of them.

Good Things that Happened in 2016

·         New chemotherapy breakthroughs have increased the 5-year survival for pancreatic cancer from 16% to 27% (and is getting better)

·         Scientists figured out how to link robotic limbs with the part of the brain that deals with intent to move so people don’t have to think about how they will move the limb, it can just happen.

·         Child mortality is down everywhere and it keeps going down.

·         Thanks to the ice bucket challenge the gene responsible for ALS has been found, meaning we are closer to an effective treatment. Let me rephrase that: we are close to getting a treatment for a very bad disease because a lot of people (including really hot celebrities) got wet.

·         A solar powered plan circumnavigated the world.

·         Michael Jordan donates 2mil to try and help bridge connection between police and the community.

·         Tiger numbers are growing.

·         And manatees.

·         And pandas.

·         Pakistan has made strides toward outlawing honor killings.

·         70,000 Muslim clerics declared a fatwa against ISIS.

·         Pokemon Go players went insane with placing lure modules near hospitals for sick kids.

·         California is now powering over 6 million homes with solar power, a record in the US (and that is the tightest shit)

·         Volunteers in India planted 50 million trees in 24 hours.

·         Apparently world crime as a whole has drastically declined as a whole in the last couple of decades.

·         Coffee consumption has been proved to help curtail cancer and suicide rates.

·         Speaking of coffee Starbucks figured out how to donate perishable food in a food safe way.

·         500 elephants were relocated to a better, safer and bigger home.

·         We made massive strides in Alzheimers’ prevention (my grandmother literally told me that scares her more than getting cancer this is very good news)

·         The ozone layer is repairing itself and all the work we did to get rid of those aerosol chemicals was actually worth it.

·         A new therapy developed in Israel could cure radiation sickness.

·         The Anglican church resolved to solemnize same-sex unions the same as opposite-sex unions which required a super majority of all three orders of the church (lay, clergy, bishop).

·         The Rabbinical Assembly issued a resolution affirming the rights of transgender and non-conforming individuals.

·         Precision treatments for cancer are hitting clinical trials and WORKING (as someone who’s had relatives with cancer this is the best news)

·         Dentists are once again providing free care to veterans who need it.

·         The Orlando Shakespeare Festival showed up with angel wings to block funeral-goers for the Orlando Pulse victims, view from anti-gay protesters

·         Rise Women’s Legal Centre opened

·         Death by heart disease has decreased by 70% in the United States

·         Two brothers saw color for the first time thanks to specially-designed glasses

• Portugal ran its entire nation solely on renewable energy for four days straight

·         A retiree is launching a project to transport 80 endangered rhinos to an Australian reservation to save the animals from poaching

·         An Afghan teacher has been delivering books via bicycle to villages that lack schools

·         Harriet Tubman is going to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.

·         200 strangers attended the funeral of a homeless WW2 veteran with no family

·         A teen battling cancer married his sweetheart

·         Bank firm pays for college tuition for the children of employees who died in the 9/11 attacks

·         New medicine has been shown to increase melanoma survival rate to 40%

·         Over 800 Boko Harem Hostages were rescued by Nigerian Army

·         Toys R Us is Offering Quiet Shopping Hour for kids with autism this holiday season

·         Volunteers made special tiny Halloween costumes for NICU babies

·         A 4-year old befriends a lonely man and helped him heal after losing his wife

·         Families grew

·         People survived c ancer

·         People overcame depression

·         Any kind of victory, even if it affects only one person,  is a victory

·         Now for the pop culture good news

·         LEONARDO DICAPRIO WON AN OSCAR! EVERYONE READING THIS LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO SEE LEO FINALLY GET WHAT HE DESERVED

·         There’s a new Harry Potter book

·         And a movie

·         Harry Potter has no plans on vanishing with time

·         This sweet father gave candy to passengers on a flight so his little girl could trick or treat on Halloween

·         LET ME TALK ABOUT ALL THE KICK ASS MOVIES WE GOT THIS YEAR OH MY GOD

·         Kung Fu Panda 3, this franchise is still going strong despite that its about a panda played by Jack Black

·         Jungle Book. The amazing remake none of us saw coming

·         Finding Dory. I haven’t seen it yet but I’ve heard good things

·         Kubo and the Two Strings. Haven’t seen that yet as well but its Laika so I know it’s a masterpiece

·         Deadpool. The beautiful and super accurate R-rated marvel film

·         Captain America: Civil War. Seriously is the best marvel movie yet in my opinion I need more.

·         Zootopia. Oh don’t mind me I’m just a movie that tackled the issue of racism and not only game changed animated films but also made a billion dollars

·         The Hamilton Mixtape is coming out. Which is a bunch of artists singing songs from the musical (Sia, Usher, Regina Spketor, etc.) I’m excited.

·         A personal victory for myself, I joined Tumblr and met angels in blog form so…that’s uplifting.

·         And I met my favorite voice actor at a con which was a bucket list accomplishment.

Good Things that have yet to happen this year

·         Birthdays

·        Thanksgiving

·         Black Friday

·         Moana

·         Christmas

Good things that have nothing to do with the year but will hopefully make you feel better

·         Puppies

·         Chocolate

·         Rainbows

·         Rain (I like listening to rain it’s one of the most calming sounds)

·         Cartoons

·         Kissing

·         Music

·         Friends

·         FF: If you are a religious person you are an imperfect masterpiece

·         FF: If you are not then you are a splendid coincidence

·         Any year spent with loved ones be they family or friends is a good year. Trust me.

·         ”A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have” –Roger Rabbit

#NeverForgetTheGood


*Plz feel free to add other good news (even if it’s something small like you ate cheesecake THAT is good news)

*at the end of the year I plan to remake this list with new things, fixed mistakes and links but will be posting from my side blog @iamrainbow
100 reasons NOT to kill yourself

1. we would miss you.
2. it’s not worth the regret. either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.
3. it does get better. believe it or not it will eventually get better. sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.
4. there’s so much you would miss out on doing.
5. there is always a reason to live. it might not be clear right now, but it is always there.
6. so many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
7. you ARE worth it. don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
8. you are amazing.
9. a time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. you will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. because things always get better.
10. what about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? what about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? you can’t do them when you’re dead.
11. i love you. even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.
12. you won’t be able to listen to music if you die.
13. killing yourself is never worth it. you’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.
14. there are so many people that would miss you, including me.
15. you’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.
16. how do you think your family would feel? would it improve their lives if you died?
17. you’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.
18. think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again.
19. you’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day
20. listening to incredibly loud music.
21. being alive is just really good.
22. not being alive is really bad.
23. finding your soulmate.
24. red pandas
25. going to diners at three in the morning.
26. really soft pillows.
27. eating pizza in neww york city.
28. proving people wrong with your success.
29. watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.
30. seeing someone trip over a garbage can.
31. being able to help other people.
32. bonfires.
33. sitting on rooftops.
34. sweing every single country in the world.
35. going on roadtrips.
36. you might win the lottery someday.
37. listening to music on a record player.
38. going to the top of the eiffel tower.
39. taking really cool pictures.
40. literally meeting thousands of new people.
41. hearing crazy stories.
42. telling crazy stories.
43. eating ice cream on a hot day.
44. more harry potter books could come out, you never know.
45. travelling to another planet someday.
46. having an underwater house.
47. randomly running into your hero on the street.
48. having your own room at a fancy hotel.
49. trampolines.
50. think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.
51. think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke.
52. tour survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.
53. people do care.
54. treehouses.
55. hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse.
55. snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees.
56. i don’t even know you and i love you.
57. i don’t even know you and i care about you.
58. because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!
59. you won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.
60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!
61. starbucks.
62. hugs.
63. stargazing.
64. you have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
65. you’ve changed somebody’s life.
66. now you could change the world.
67. you will meet the person that’s perfect for you.
68. no matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.
69. you have the chance to save somebody’s life.
70. if you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.
71. making snow angels.
72. making snowmen.
73. snowball fights.
74. life is what you make of it.
75. everybody has a talent.
76. laughing until you cry.
77. having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.
78. the world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.
79.its possible to turn frowns, upside down
80. be yourself, don’t take anyone’s sh*t, and never let them take you alive.
81. heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. be your own hero.
82. heing happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. it means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
83. one day your smile will be real.
84. having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.
85. lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.
86. getting completely smashed with your best friends.
87. eating crazy food.
88. staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.
89. sleeping in all day.
90. creating something you’re proud of.
91. you can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit.
92. being able to meet your internet friends!
93. tea/coffee/hot chocolate.
94. team starkid.
95. cuddling under the stars.
96. being stupid in public because you just can.
97. if you are reading this then you are alive! is there any more reason to smile?
98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years.
99. people care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.
100. but, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen!

& if that isn’t enough:

-depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696
-suicide hotline: 1-800-784-8433
-lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
-trevor project: 1-866-488-7386
-sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743
-eating disorders hotline: 1-847-831-3438
-rape and sexual assault: 1-800-656-4673
-grief support: 1-650-321-5272
-runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
-exhale: ater abortion hotline/pro-voice: 1-866-4394253
-child abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK HELPLINES:
-samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090
e-mail jo@samaritans.org
-childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
-mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393
e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
-mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463
legal@mind.org.uk
-b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open mon-fri 10.30am-8.30pm and saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
-b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open mon-fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, saturday 1pm-7pm)
-cruse bereavement care: 08444779400
e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
-frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
-drinkline: 0800 9178282
-rape crisis england & wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm)
e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
-rape crisis scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
-india self harm hotline: 00 08001006614
-india suicide helpline: 022-27546669
-kids help phone (canada): 1-800-668-6868, free and available 24/7

SUICIDE HOTLINES;
-argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
-australia: 13-11-14
-austria: 01-713-3374
-barbados: 429-9999
-belgium: 106
-botswana: 391-1270
-brazil: 21-233-9191
-china: 852-2382-0000
(hong kong: 2389-2222)
-costa Rica: 606-253-5439
-croatia: 01-4833-888
-cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
-czech republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
-denmark: 70-201-201
-egypt: 762-1602
-estonia: 6-558-088
-finland: 040-5032199
-france: 01-45-39-4000
-germany: 0800-181-0721
-greece: 1018
-guatemala: 502-234-1239
-holland: 0900-0767
-honduras: 504-237-3623
-hungary: 06-80-820-111
-iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
-israel: 09-8892333
-italy: 06-705-4444
-japan: 3-5286-9090
-latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
-malaysia: 03-756-8144
(singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
-mexico: 525-510-2550
-netherlands: 0900-0767
-new zealand: 4-473-9739
-new guinea: 675-326-0011
-nicaragua: 505-268-6171
-norway: 47-815-33-300
-philippines: 02-896-9191
-poland: 52-70-000
-portugal: 239-72-10-10
-russia: 8-20-222-82-10
-spain: 91-459-00-50
-south africa: 0861-322-322
-south korea: 2-715-8600
-sweden: 031-711-2400
-switzerland: 143
-taiwan: 0800-788-995
-thailand: 02-249-9977
-trinidad and tobago: 868-645-2800
-ukraine: 0487-327715

just in case you’re having a hard time.

stay strong.

Dear future wife…

I been trying to figure out a way to write these words for like the past 5 years now. I think it’s because that’s when I turned 21, when things were fun for my peers but I was consciously dreaming on how to spend my life with you explicitly. I’ve been extremely patient while battling temptation from a world that tells me “fuck a wife” and “it’s cool to have a grip of girls” — yet I’ve still been roaming the ocean just to prove why waiting for you was worth my world. I can’t tell you how many nights I stayed up visualizing a life, one where I’d never leave your side. Can you imagine how many pieces of paper I balled up out of frustration because I thought I met you in someone else only to give my all, then end up back by myself.

See when you finally look into my eyes, I want you to know that I was the walking definition of persistence. No matter how many times I was told “just fuck these hoes” I resisted. Because I couldn’t imaging myself trading in a night for what’s missing. When you look at me I want you to see the queen within yourself that reflects from my pupils but penetrate your soul. A sight that magnifies your queendom, so if your love were particles and I was blind I could still see them.

You have no idea how many times in my mind you said, “I do” without me even meeting you.

This is beyond fate or a first date. My soul is so entangled in your spirit that even from heaven I can feel it. I need you to know that the last love I believed to be you stabbed me so intensely that life wasn’t worth living. However, your hand touched my faced and it was in that feeling that I found hope. The journey for you became my solace to exist, my reason to persist, my will to resist, my heart to risk.

Never forget I risked it all for you before you knew I risked it.

So no matter where you are in the universe, I’ll find you. No matter how long it takes, I’ll search for you. The reason why is because I can feel you too. You’re searching for me and you’re dealing with heartbreak, fake love, regrets, and setbacks. Once I find you, I’ll set back your setbacks. I’ll make you fall in love so deeply you’ll forget those regrets. Any fake love you’ve experienced will become realer than any HD romantic film you’ve experienced.

On that day you take my hand in marriage I’ll smile and say, “We’re married.” I’ll remind you that your love was always mine to carry. That the men you’ve experienced in your past was exactly what the universe needed you to experience to be the women you are now. I’ll kiss your forehead a million times, to make a million rhymes; you’ll lay next to me and I’ll write you a million lines on this same sheet of paper.

The love I give you as your Prince Charming will become realer than your reality. You’ll never need love as a supplement. Your smile will shine the darkest of days. Your aura will shine the darkest of ways. The love we create when we have children will validate every word I say. I’ll love you like the seeds you grow for 9 months, as if it were a 100 years and we were old and gray. I still hold your hand each and every day.

I don’t know when I’ll find you but I know when I do every single minute will be worth the lifetime you deserved to have me there while I desperately searched this desert.
Believe me when I say on that day we’ll be in love forever…

My future wife.

A MESSAGE FROM AVI
Hello everyone. If you haven’t yet watched the video then these words might come as a shock to you. If you have watched, know that this is exactly what I would have said in the video, if filming it wasn’t one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. This morning, I announced that I will be taking a step back from PTX.
I’ve struggled with this decision a lot. It has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Before I explain why, I want you all to know that the past 6 years have been the most unbelievable years of my life. The things we’ve accomplished, the places we’ve seen, the people we’ve touched with our music… It surpasses anything that I could have ever dreamed up for my life.
I believe one of the big reasons why we have been so successful and accomplished all that we have is because of the unbelievably fast pace that we keep. Throughout my journey with PTX, this pace has always been a struggle for me. It’s been hard for me not to be with my family and friends when I need them or when they need me. It’s been hard to not be able to escape into nature when I’m feeling overwhelmed or just need some time to myself.
Through all of this, I’ve done my best and I’ve kept pushing myself to keep up. Really, the reason why I’ve been able to push so hard and for so long has been because of you guys. You all have inspired me and lifted me up every single day and, for that, I am eternally grateful.
I do love you all so very much, but I’ve come to a point where I just can’t keep up anymore and I would never want to inhibit any type of success that we have because I truly do believe in everything that we’ve done and everything that they will do. I just know that I can no longer continue at this pace and so I have to do what’s best for the group and I have to do what’s best for me.
I do want you all to know that I’m still going to be doing music and I’m going to be doing it with my whole heart. I will ALWAYS do my best to lift others up with my voice. I hope that you’ll all support my decision and that you can understand where I’m coming from. And regardless of anything, I just want to thank you for all that you’ve given to me. I have been so unbelievably blessed and humbled to be a part of all your lives in any way and I wanted you to hear this from me. From my voice. And from my heart.
I love you all deeply and I thank you for everything. Truly.
And just so you know, I will still be performing at all of our announced shows, so come say hi and give me a hug. I love hugs.
Avi


I know the announcement is already going around tumblr but I thought I’d upload the video. Watching it made me realize how sad and sorry he is. And even though I’m upset about the news, I think I’m more worried about him. I’m seeing lots of support and love for him on the internet, and I hope he’ll see it. Hopefully his decision will allow him to take back control of his life, get some rest and focus on whatever he wants. Maybe he’ll finally ask Sara Bareilles out, who knows… I just want him to be happy. It’s going to be hard for the band and for us fans, but both Avi and Pentatonix will still be able to make good music and succeed; except now he’s going to be able to breathe and go at his own pace.
Also, give him a hug from me if you can! x

8 Must-Watch Movies & Shows on Netflix

By: Grecia

Feeling bored on a warm summer night? Snuggle up in a blanket, grab a cup of coffee and make Netflix your date for the night.

  1. Stuck in Love - This movie has possibly some of the best actors all combined into one. Starring Logan Lerman and Lily Collins along with Nat Wolff and Liana Liberato, this isn’t your typical love story. There is romance but with that comes hard moments that they have to overcome in their lives. 
  2. Supernatural - If you have never seen Supernatural, you have to as soon as possible. Literally close this tab and go watch it right now! This is my all time favorite show. With 9 seasons so far and renewed for a 10th season, there’s a reason why it has so many viewers. Who doesn’t love the protagonists Sam & Dean that save the world fighting monsters? Beware this show is rollercoaster of emotions. 
  3. American Horror Story - Okay, this show is a little bit on the creepy side so if you are not a fan of scary things or get scared way too easy while watching scary movies, this show is not for you. On the other hand those who are scary-movie fanatics, have to watch this show. It has me literally glued to the TV while watching. It is super intense and what I love is that each season has a different theme but the same cast stars in it. Oh and what more can I say, one of the main reasons I watch it is because the unbelievably gorgeous Evan Peters.
  4. Gossip Girl - Based in NYC’s upper east side, this show is everything. It revolves around the lives of teenagers who have it all, and two siblings who don’t and strive to become part of their clique. I can literally re watch old episodes and never get tired of watching it. There is a lot of drama that comes with this show, it can make you laugh and cry and wish you had their life. Also basically everyone dates each other throughout a point in the show.
  5. Clueless - This movie is like the 90’s version of Mean Girls. If you feel like watching a chick flick, this is it. Cher will become your fashion icon after watching this film and you’ll fall in love with Paul Rudd. Cher, the protagonist, along with her best friend Dionne make it their life mission to transform a new girl, Tai and make her as popular as they are. At the end of this movie, you will catch yourself saying AS IF ! 
  6. Bates Motel - A prequel to the 1960’s film Psycho, this show is about Norman Bates a teenager, and his mother Norma Bates starting a new life after the mysterious death of Norma’s husband. They move to White Pine Bay, Oregon after Norma buys a motel there. Norma is very protective of Norman and they have this abnormal relationship. Norma knows about a mental illness Norman has  where he has blackouts and he kills people but doesn’t remember and she decides to keep it a secret from him and everyone else. Moving to White Pine Bay doesn’t do much help because the past comes back to haunt.
  7. New Girl - Oh wow basically this show is a series of funny gifs you see on your tumblr dashboard. You will fall in love with the whole cast. It is based in L.A when Jess a teacher, moves into a loft with three other guys. The show shows their complicated lives and troubles and the crazy stuff they get into. You will become very familiar with the DOUCHEBAG JAR.
  8. The Walking Dead - This show is action packed and will keep you on your toes. In a apocalyptic world, where zombies have invaded, live a small group of people who are fighting for their lives. Their leader Rick Grimes makes tough decisions, to keep everyone safe. Throughout each season they grow stronger,closer to each other, and they go through many horrible things, and troubles but they combat everything in order to survive.

Photographer: Emily Keenan

Instagram Is A Tiny Speck In The Ginormous Oil Painting of Life

One topic I think about obsessively: Instagram. More specifically, the psychological effect it has on me.

A while ago I posted a tweet saying I felt conflicted about social media, and the responses I got were surprising. People said that Facebook gave them anxiety, only going on certain sites when their mood was stable, whilst others deleted and re-activated their accounts regularly.

Illustration by Ana Galvan

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with these platforms but they have so many pros that it makes them hard to quit. They connect me to like-minded people, are informative, make me laugh and give me an instant connection to my fanbase. It’s amazing to feel a level of relation in real time. However, in the last year I’ve noticed that every time I go on Instagram I feel kind of flat + zapped afterwards, like somebody has literally sat on my brain for 5 minutes. It’s oddly deflating.

Social media apps are designed to make us addicted to them. Human behaviour is reward based and each time we get a “like” or a message, our brains release a hit of dopamine, which makes us feel rrrreeeeal good (until the dopamine level drops and we feel real bad). Instagram is basically digital meth. So, for the past year I’ve been deleting the app off my phone for large periods of time, then re-downloading it if I want to post something. Interestingly, the feeling I get upon returning is always the same: I’ve missed nothing!

I understand social media’s appeal most when in relation to constructing a fantasy world. I’ve used it as a creative tool on every album I’ve made. Tumblr was key to “Electra Heart” and Twitter was key to “FROOT”. But what at first seemed like an opportunity to communicate our thoughts in an uncensored way has become a vehicle for us to present ourselves in the way that we would like to be seen by others. And this is what makes me feel weird about posting sometimes. A review I read of the film ’Ingrid Goes West’ nailed this feeling: “We use these platforms to lie and intentionally curate our lives”. The curating part hits a chord with me. It makes me feel icky, because I’ve surely, if subconsciously, done this - the majority of us have if we’re using the platform. How do I get around that and use it in a healthier way? Do I just delete the whole thing or do I need to be aware of the reason I want to post something? i.e. Is it to share an image I love, or is to make people think of me in a certain way? The latter creeps me out. It scares me.

Illustration by Allegra Lockstadt

Recently, a friend said he had been going through a difficult period, so he hadn’t gone on Instagram for about a month. “Why would I? Everyone is having such a great time”. Ohhh, the digital illusion of happiness. OK, some people are genuinely having a great time, and they want to share that great time with you, but they’re not having a good time all the time. And that’s the key to remember when we’re embarking on a scrolling spree into the darkest depths of existential hell at 2am. Social media is a tiny speck in the ginormous oil painting of human life. We all have problems. We present the good parts of ourselves because it’s anathema to document the true nature of our lives, which inevitably consist of moments of disappointment, loneliness and embarrassment. None of these things look pretty or cool (no, not EVEN if you put the Mayfair filter on top of them), and I can totally see how it all started out innocently. We all love sharing special moments, but because these moments hold social currency online, we’re now doing only that. It’s easy to see how people can feel disappointed when their own lives don’t measure up in a similar way.

Illustration by Lan Truong

We’re still in the infancy of the internet, trying to navigate technology in a way that is beneficial to our lives, but I sense a shift towards a desire to portray our lives more realistically. I notice more people sharing an experience or story in the caption of a selfie/ photograph that provides more of a picture of their life than the actual photo ever could. But I still wonder how we can evolve online culture into a space that is less image-focused/ self-driven, because I worry about the psychological effects that an image-focused culture might have on a young person’s self-esteem. 20 years ago, posting a stream of pictures of only my face would have been considered borderline narcissistic, but now it’s normal. And I’m not judging this - I’m talking from the perspective of someone who has done this a’plenty and who has been a part of that culture, particularly at the height of an album campaign. Maybe all Instagram has done is magnify what seems to have always been true, that humans value beauty to excess.

Ok, I’ll end this post by saying this: If I never go on Instagram again, my life won’t lack anything because of it. Assuming I use it 20 minutes a day, I’ll get back 122 hours a year - for free! The reality is, I’ll probably continue to use it, but it’s important to me to see these platform for what they are, not what they appear to be. They’re addictive, comparative, take my time and give little back in return.

I’ll leave you with my fave comment which came from @FKASimon.

Quite, Simon, Quite.

Love, Marina

Ask a question or a share a thought here!

thatlastdanceofchances  asked:

I've never seen Pacific Rim because it was promoted (at least in my country) as a movie about fighting robots (not that different from how the Transformers movies are promoted) and that's not my thing. But from what I've gleaned on tumblr, there seems to be more to it. All this to say: sell me on Pacific Rim?

Aw man.

So, Pacific Rim is a movie with robots fighting giant monsters.

It is unapologetically, unashamedly a movie about robots fighting giant monsters.

And it is amazing.

Because yes, humanity is nuts and decides giant monsters from another dimension invading is a problem best solved with giant robots. BUT!


Originally posted by ezekiels

- The movie is done by Guillermo Del Toro, the guy behind Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth, and Crimson Peak. So visually? It’s GORGEOUS. The monster designs are stunning. The art direction and color and visual themes are all brilliantly crafted. I could write a whole essay just on the use of color (and I’m sure someone here has!).


Originally posted by headlesssamurai

- The movie has leads of color. You walk in thinking Charlie Hunnam’s white boy character Raleigh is gonna be the main character, and then it turns around and focuses on the dynamic between Mako Mori (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and her adopted father Stacker Pentacost (Idris Elba). There are still a lot of white characters, but Mako and Stacker are the movie’s emotional core. 


Originally posted by hamillfisher

- The movie is pretty feminist. Mako Mori is AMAZING, and the movie does not focus on sexualizing her or turning her into the object of a romance, but rather letting her be a total badass in her own right with her own important story arc. The movie and the characters respect her, and a lot of gender tropes get undermined with the film. The Mary Sue has a good write-up here


Originally posted by tacticalneuralimplant

- The movie is original. It’s not a remake, not an adaptation from a book or comic, not made to sell toys, and not a sequel. And while I love adaptations, there’s something really cool about a fresh and original story, since Hollywood hasn’t been doing many of those. It takes the mecha genre and the kaiju genre and does something new in combining them.


Originally posted by thislittlediary

- The movie highlights the importance of relationship bonds. It takes two people to pilot a jaeger (giant robot) to share the ‘neural load’ of controlling that big a robot with your brain. And in order to successfully pilot a jaeger, pilots have to be “drift compatible” – meaning they have some kind of bond or connection that allows them to be mentally in sync. Pilot pairings demonstrate every kind of bond, from platonic friends, to parents and children, to brothers, to married couples. And they’re all important!


Originally posted by raffleupagus

- The movie is FUN. There’s beautiful, insane action fights with robots punching giant monsters and it’s a goddamn delight.  The premise is nuts, and it doesn’t try to apologize for it. It’s just plain enjoyable. 


In short: Pacific Rim, while certainly an imperfect movie, and while unabashedly a movie about robots punching giant monsters, is still good and still fun, and you should absolutely see it. The visuals are great, the characters are likable, the action is amazing, and it has a lot of heart, and a lot of hope in humanity’s sheer and utter ridiculousness. 

Beauty and the Beast isn't what Tumblr's been saying it is.

I can completely get over Emma Watson being Belle for the sheer amount of representation that’s in the film. What representation? 

 Let’s begin (spoiler alert!):

1. Black People in France. Yes, honey. For the first time in my life, I walked into a widely released period piece that doesn’t ignore the existence of black people. Not as mere servants and slaves, but as actual fucking court members and townspeople. Also, interracial couples. Y'ALL. 

 2. Le Fou. I was concerned about this, but he actually undergoes character development. He eventually abandons Gaston and has a change of heart (Disney-style, but I’ll take it). The scene with him “dancing with another man” at the end is led up to- it’s not just random. It doesn’t send the message that gay people are stupid and deserve to be mistreated (Mrs. Potts literally tells him he deserves better), which were my main concerns for this film. TL;DR, the LeFou plotline isn’t what Tumblr made it out to be, I promise.  

 3. The Gender Fluid Character. There is a scene in a which a character normalizes a man in a dress in a positive way. I was expecting him to be mocked, but this doesn’t happen! (Also, I believe this is the same character LeFou dances with at the end). 

 4. Belle teaches a child to read/ LeFou realizes he can’t read. Watson aside, the actual perils of living in 17th century France are explored, like the Plague, and also the importance of literacy. As children’s literacy is very important to me, I LOVED this. 

There’s more, but I think the representation needs to be supported (listen, I almost never see myself in a period piece, I was expecting this cast to be vanilla as hell) and Disney needs to know that we want more of it. 

 ALSO: to the white and non-black POC who straight up lied about the representation in this film, I SEE YOU.

Okay, so I see a lot of posts floating around Tumblr about how awful/exhausting/stressful adulthood is. They make me laugh and they’re relatable and sometimes I reblog them. The thing is, though, for me, adulthood is actually way better than being a teenager was–so I wanted to share some things I love about being an adult, just to even out the balance. I don’t think I have any teenage followers, but maybe some in their early twenties? Anyway, I don’t want people to fear adulthood, because there are amazing things about it:

–Normally, I end my evenings by sitting on my sofa in my flat in pleasant solitude, drinking herbal tea and reading and listening to that morning’s Essential Classics on Radio 3. This should be the dictionary definition of bliss.

–Even though I have experienced bullying as an adult as well as when I was a child/teenager, I feel like my internal resources for dealing with it are better now and growing all the time. I no longer feel like the bad things people say to and about me define me.

–Buying my own laundry detergent means I can finally pick one that I’m not allergic to. I am no longer 110% covered in red itches at all times.

–I have friends who are boys and my dad isn’t in my house to constantly harrass me about them.

–Last year I went to a concert of science fiction scores played by the Royal Philharmonic with someone I know slightly from church. It was the actual coolest.

–My brother and I are friends now that we live in entirely different cities. He texted me the other day for advice on his CV. It was nice.

–My friends either share my interests or love the fact that I’m so interested in those things. It’s been years since I’ve said to anyone “I learnt an interesting thing today!” and they’ve replied, flatly, “define interesting”.

–I just feel so much more like myself than I did when I was a teenager. I’m okay with hating make-up/loving Disney films/being super career-driven/being great with kids, and the fact that those things would seem to make me a contradiction, and that I’m actually just me.

–My mum keeps defending my right to be single to anyone who tries to commiserate with her about the fact that she doesn’t have grandbabies. Adulthood, for me, has meant becoming friends with my mum.

–I know enough about myself and the world now to realise that understanding social/relational stuff is a real weak point of mine. When I don’t understand those things now, I say “I don’t understand this” to my friends, and they help me without laughing at me. (Then I help them with their CVs and knowing where their apostrophes belong. Turn and turn about is fair play).

–Enough bad things have come and gone in my life that I know dark seasons will pass, and even the things that aren’t temporary (my dad will probably never not be a borderline-homeless misogynistic conspiracy theorist again) are just part of my life, not the whole of it. They don’t consume me. When awful things happen, I am sad for a few weeks or months, but I know that one day I will be not sad for a while, and that is worth hanging on for. This is something I never could have known when I was a teenager, because not enough bad things had come and gone from my life.

–I would not trade the worst day of my last six months (which was awful and heartbreaking and I think I literally cried for 24 hours straight) for any day from my life aged 11-16. I have been sad, this year, but I also knew it would pass. It gets better. It gets so much better.
On Writing Dark Fiction

Anonymous asked: “I was looking through writing tips and saw something about writing dark stories. It says how “dark” does not mean twisted, brutal, or gory. Then I wondered, what is it exactly?”

Hmmm… That was probably not one of my writing tips, but whoever said it is kind of right. Dark when applied to fiction kind of has its own connotations and it’s not really synonymous with horror at all. 

Keep reading

The Interview

Requested By: Anonymous

hii, could u write a tom Holland x reader fic with prompts 5, 53 and 57? I’m in love with your tumblr btw🌸

Based off a prompt list linked here

#5 “I made my baby cry!”, #53 “Sit in my lap”, and #57 “You don’t understand, you never do!”

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Description: While Tom was away shooting for Spider-Man Homecoming, he did a few interviews. One where they asked about a funny moment between you and him. He decided to tell them the one time you played a prank on him when you two were training.

Warnings: Just cuteness, it’s super dorky aw

Word Count: 1,654

A/N: Yayyyy! First Tom Holland imagine, I think it’s super cute and dorky omg. I think this imagine turned out really well and idk I just love it ahaha. But fr, I could so see him accidently letting a secret like this slip out bc we all know he can’t keep secrets.

Originally posted by davinaclaires

“Well look who it is! It’s Mr. Spider-Man himself, Tom Holland! Welcome!” The interviewer grinned at Tom, making him smile and give a few waves.

“It’s crazy man, to be here surrounded by all these wonderful people.” Tom gushed, looking around in pure bliss.

You were sitting at home, watching his live interview on TV, laughing at how dorky he was.

You and Tom had been dating for about a year now, you were thrilled when you found out he got the role of Spider-Man for Captain America Civil War, and even more ecstatic when you found out he actually became Spider-Man.

Tom had told you many times how he wished he could be that character, and then his dream came true and you couldn’t have been more proud.

He had been gone for a few months now, filming for his new movie Spider-Man Homecoming, which you were going to drag him to, to watch in the theatres together, whether he wanted to or not.

You were unbelievably proud of Tom, he looked so happy, and that’s all that mattered to you, even if you did miss him a ton.

Your head snapped back to the TV, hearing the interviewer mention your name, a smile creeping its way onto your lips.

This had to be good.

“So, how are you and Y/N doing? Is she at home now watching this?” The interviewer asked, making Tom blush lightly and smile bashfully.

“She’s doing great actually, I love her a lot. It means a lot to me that she’s so supportive and happy for me. She’s the best girlfriend you could have honestly. And yes, she is at home right now,” Tom waves into the camera, making you laugh, “I’m pretty positive she’s watching this, mainly because I told her to.” Tom chuckled, making the interviewer laugh.

“I’m glad you guys are still together and that everything is going well between the two of you.” The interviewer added on, making Tom smile and nod along.

“Yeah it’s great, she’s great, everything is just.. great.” He laughed, motioning to the area around him.

“Speaking of Y/N, I know you two have been together for quite the time now.” The interviewer stated, making Tom grow serious for a moment.

“Yeah, Y/N and I have been together for about a year now, she was there with me when I actually got casted as Spider-Man for Cap Civil War.” Tom smiled, making a heart into the camera, which obviously made your heart melt even more.

Tom was that guy, that even if he was miles away, he could still make your heart flutter, even through a television screen.

“She’s super supportive like I said before, and I just couldn’t be happier.” Tom grinned, running his fingers through his hair messily.

“That’s great, I’m happy for you both. Speaking of Y/N, are there any funny moments you to have together that you’re willing to share?” The interviewer gave Tom a smile, making him laugh.

“Man, this is tough, Y/N always makes me laugh.” Tom smiled, placing his fingers on his chin as he thought about all the moments you two have had.

His eyes lit up, as he grinned at the interviewer.

“There was actually this one moment, Y/N and I were training, it was after we found out I was casted as Spider-Man for my new movie, and I wanted to get a head start on training for it.” Tom explained, already laughing as he thought of the memory.

You on the other hand, were dying of laughter already, you remember this day like it happened yesterday.

“So, Y/N and I were training one day, we were doing an exercise where we were practicing punching, since you know Spider-Man does stunts like that.” Tom laughed, crossing his arms as he swayed back and forth.

“So we were doing punching exercises and I went to you know.. ‘punch her’ and when I did she screamed and held her face.” Tom explained, making the interviewer gasp.

“So of course I stopped and was like ’oh shit! are you okay? oh my god, I made my baby cry!and I quickly took off the equipment to make sure she wasn’t really injured.” Tom explained, covering his mouth with his hands before laughing, as he glared into the camera playfully, making you laugh even harder.

“After I removed the gloves, I told her you know.. come here sit in my lap, and so she did, she was still holding her face, she felt like she was crying and I was really worried I had actually hurt her you know?” Tom laughed, licking his bottom lip as he continued on.

“And then, as I was trying to get her to remove her hands from her face, I felt her start to laugh, and I was so confused.” Tom smiled, shaking his head, as the interviewer laughed.

“I eventually pried her hands away to see she was totally fine, and had gotten me worked up over nothing! I was so frustrated, but she found it hysterical, she was laughing so hard. I remember telling her ’you don’t understand,'  I was so scared I actually had hurt her.” Tom laughed, shaking his head as he looked into the camera.

“But she didn’t care, she claimed that I never do, and by that I mean that I never get her pranks until after she’s done them. You see Y/N is that good of a prankster that she really fools you.” Tom explained, biting his lip slightly.

You were sitting on the couch, laughing at the memory, it was all true, Tom had gotten so frustrated with you, but you couldn’t take him seriously.

You were too proud and full of laughter that he fell for another one of your crazy pranks.

“And the thing is, I always fall for them, I never realize I’d been pranked till after it happens.” Tom laughed, making the interviewer laugh with him.

“You two are definitely a match, the fact that she pranks you that well and you still fall for them shows you two have something special.” The interviewer smiled, making Tom blush lightly. 

“Oh don’t worry, I got her back just as good.” Tom grinned, winking into the camera, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“I don’t blame you,” The interviewer laughed, before looking into the camera then at Tom. “Well, that’s about all the time we have for today, congratulations on your new movie, Spider-Man Homecoming.” The interviewer smiled, shaking Tom’s hand who was smiling back at him.

“Thanks! And thanks for having me, it was a blast.” Tom smiled, waving goodbye into the camera before the interview was over.

You laughed, shaking your head at your TV screen, Tom was such a dork.

Within a few minutes, you felt your phone buzz, only to see you had a text message from him already.

SpiderTom: hey baby did u see my interview? ;)

You: u mean the one where u talked about my epic pranking skills? then yes, yes i did, & I’m ngl i was laughing the entire time

SpiderTom: ur evil you know that? but i love u anyways <3

You: yes, yes i do know >:) & i love u too boo <3

You laughed as you read the next text, a smirk creeping up onto your lips as you replied back.

SpiderTom: you’re going to prank me again aren’t you? :o

You: oh 100%, see u soon babe. ;)

And with that, you shut your phone off, and went to bed, the smirk never once leaving your face.

Can y'all believe that a youtube web series got 3 seasons and 2 movies cause white wlw fandom watched, supported even donated lots of money to make it happen? Can y'all believe that a show about demons and western gays that was struggling at beginning with their ratings is now on its third season cause white wlw did everything to make it possible? Can y'all believe that white wlw fandom is winning polls against some of the most popular canon ships just so their two non-canon white ladies can win and get media attention even tho the cast and writers confirmed it will never happen? Can y'all believe that a show that queerbaited the wlw shippers with a kiss between two straight girls in the promo made the whole fandom migrate to the show even tho it was confirmed at the very beginning of the show that both girls are straight but white wlw still continued tuning in every week, and helped the show get a second season. Can y'all believe that the bold type is probably gonna get canceled cause white wlw don’t give a shit? Can you imagine if kat and adena were white i can guarantee you kadena would be as big as cl*xa and we would not worry about ratings they would trend every week on tumblr and twitter. It also made me realize why san jun/pero got so much attention and love, well aside from the story being simply beautiful and perfect i do believe that one half of the ship being white is what made them even bigger. i don’t think it would’ve been as big if it had been two woc. Can y'all believe that I, a white muslim lesbian can admit that this has everything to do with the race of kadena and y'all ignoring tbt is so obvious y'all can’t even hide behind that “not my kind of show” not when y'all can support queerbait shows, not when y'all can support a web series and let’s not kid ourselves here, a series about vampires that has been filmed in 1 room for 3 seasons with just astrocious acting. Not when a white non-canon wlw ship has a bigger fanbase than a canon qwoc ship. I think that islamophobia plays a huge part in that too, maybe more people would be on board of the kadena ship if adena wasn’t a muslim since y'all just love to demonize her even though all of the ships above were problematic as hell at some point. but i only seem to see adena get dragged for it when wayh*ught also had a cheating plot but i still see the same amount of notes on wh edits like before the cheating plot, i still see them trending every week while the kadena fandom is basically dead. y'all had enough time to migrate to the show, tbt is on it’s 8 ep but y'all still refuse and it’s just so obvious why. to be clear i’m not hating on any of the ships that i mentioned, in fact i shipped some of them hardcore i’m just pointing out the hypocrisy here. qwoc can support white wlw ships but y'all can’t return the favor. Sad.

Why I’m so in love with “Camren”

*Bonus - the last part of this post is a must-see

Hi guys!

This is like a Camren Guide. LMAO.

I’m bored so Imma make a post about my favorite and only ship!

So first things first, to those who do not know what Camren is, it’s a ship name for Fifth Harmony’s Lauren Jauregui and former member Camila Cabello. Camila + Lauren = Camren. Look them up on youtube and get acquainted but I suggest you ready yourselves because it’ll suck you in to the bottomless pit of mixed feelings. It’s a fucking rollercoaster ride of emotions so buckle up if you may.

For those who are new in the fandom, Camren is not that much of a hot topic anymore. Knowing that Camila left the group last year. Both went on separate ways now and they’re said to be in bad terms. Plus, Lauren is supposedly dating Ty at this point in time so… But who knows, right? Maybe the people behind them are just creating drama to survive the show business because that’s what makes people keep up. DRAMA.

To my fellow shippers, we will go down with this ship till we hit the bottom. But even so, Imma still hold on because who knows? Maybe the ship will rise back up! Hold on you guys. Our ship is endgame. I repeat, ENDGAME! :D

Look at that! OMG!


So now, I’ll tell you how I discovered this emotion-wrecking ship. I was about to sleep, watching a music channel in my room when their Write On Me musicvid came up. I saw Lauren and I fell in love. Yes, I’m a Lauren girl and I admit that it’s too freaking hard to keep up with her but I just can’t unlove her. WHY?? So then I searched Write On Me on youtube again ‘cause I just can’t get over her. Then I saw a vid on the recommended portion title “Camren - Write On Me”. My curious ass clicked on it and damn! I have never regretted anything in my life. It sucked me in. I love it and at the same time I hate it. Damn, Camren! What have you done to me? Somehow, Camren made me a harmonizer. I support the girls up until now. Even Camila. They have earned a big potion of my heart.

Originally posted by holdme-bytheheart

This lured me in! Such beauty…

Now let’s get on Camren. Imma give you reasons to ship it. 


1. Their background/history

Camila and Lauren are both living in Miami. They both are half Cubans. Camila is half cuban, half mexican while Lauren is half Cuban, half American. They both didn’t know each other’s existence until they tried their luck in joining X Factor. Crazy, right? Both have immediately found solace in each other knowing that they have much similarities. They instantly got close and became each other’s bff in the competition. And little did they know they’re in for a big surprise. They were grouped together! And there came Fifth Harmony. Yay!

Originally posted by camrenpieces

Awwww. Fetus feels. T_T

2. The connection/vibes

“I heard Lauren singing from the booth and I was like damn! That girl could sing. Then I saw her came out and I was like damn! she’s pretty too!”

“When I first Lauren, I was like ‘Hi, I like you shirt!” 

“I don’t feel like I have a type. I feel like when you meet somebody there’s just like an attraction. It’s more like an energy If that makes sense.” - Camila when asked about the characters she’s looking for a guy.

“I feel like it’s not something physical. It’s more about the vibe. Don’t you just feel like when you get in a room with somebody, It’s like grrr (you’re gonna make me very happy)”. - Camila during an interview (2017).


There’s tons of sweet interactions actually.

3. Their staring at each other

Have you ever looked at someone and get lost while staring at them? It’s like you’re looking at the world and feel like you just discovered the secret to genuine happiness. Like your eyes turn into heart shapes but you’re never aware of it. These bitches mastered that.

Originally posted by camillaisanunicorn

Originally posted by mrs-ciclotimica

The most epic look/stare in Camren history. Here you can see Lauren getting lost like she’s in another dimension.

Originally posted by brave-fearless

Camila staring at the world and found genuine happiness. xD

Originally posted by pureheartsaredope

Lauren enjoying Camila’s spoken thoughts. 

Originally posted by allmadein3am

Camila appreciating her girl.

Originally posted by obsessionss

Woops. Someone’s droolin. Lol.

Originally posted by pureheartsaredope

I wish Lauren would stare at me like that. Damn, that girl doesn’t even know I exist. T_T

There’s tons of epic looks and stares I can’t post it all. 


3. Their Indirects.

“Indirects are fun.”-Lauren Jauregui

Bitch, we love it. We’re enjoying it. It’s definitely entertaining. You guys, I think some of their posts/tweets are prolly indirects while some are pure coincidence. I really don’t know how to differentiate. Nevertheless, if they post/tweet the same thought but are not meant to be indirects to each other, then I must conclude they are indeed soulmates. That fucking sameness in wavelength is fucking unreal.

The heck?

Oh, come on!


How weird can they be??

C-R-A-Z-Y!

Oh, and I think you should follow their actions on spotify. They listen to pretty suspicious songs. They even post songs that have weird lyrics and that are low key exposing. Camila makes weird playlists on spotify too and they have meaningful songs. She’s even weirder on spotify. That girl is full of feels.

4.  The Sun and The Moon. Sol y Luna

This one’s pretty trippy ‘cause I’m confused as to which of them is the Sun or the Moon and I know Lucy used to post The Sun and The Moon on tumblr and her instagram too.  But fuck it. Imma make it a Camren thing still. One things for sure though, they both have an obsession with this Sun and Moon thing. :*

This one always blows my mind. Fucking soulmates.

5. Mirroring

OMG! Their mirrorings are definitely a must-see. Are they twins or something? Maybe soulmates? I wish I could find a Lauren to my Camila too. Lmao. They’re sometimes so in sync that it gives me goosebumps. 


6. Camila Cabello 

Yes, Camila Cabello. The girl feeds every Camren shippers delusions like hell. She’s the opposite of Lauren who made it a hobby to kill Camren and break her fans’ heart once in a while. Her hatred for Camren is sometimes so questionable. Like girrrrll! Leave it if it annoys you too much. She’s so defensive about Camren that her actions become suspicious. Meanwhile, Camila freely posts too much suspicious shit. Even her new solo songs and even her whole album which according to her, “The album is really not about boys though….”. We get it Camila. You’re in a glass closet. Don’t you think it’s time to finally break free? ;)

Originally posted by sparkling-and-enchanted

Thanks for sharing, Camz. xD

Originally posted by lilmoncheese

This interview was full of tension. Camila, we know you wanna marry Lauren but can you please tone it down a little bit?? Lol.

Remember her posting this after Lauren “accidentally” liked a Camren pic on Instagram?? Well Camz, it was an accident she’ll never live down now. xD

For me, this post gives it all away. In that quote, Virginia Woolf is a writer who had an affair with someone of the same sex named Vita Sackville-West. Now, why would she post that? And to think it was that time where she’s being distant to her bandmates. Oh Camzi.

There’s also that time when she said “that’s cute” referring to a fan’s Camren phone case.

A post shared by FIFTH HARMONY-CAMREN (@http.camren.otp) on Feb 10, 2017 at 7:45pm PST

Here’s a vid. Hmmmmm???

Also, Camila’s Gender neutrality is freakin’ suspicious. She uses gender neutral pronouns too much. Why can’t she just say he, him, his or she, her, hers? She instead uses they, them, somebody, someone, people. Damn, it frustrates me sometimes! Like what is she really? Gosh!


7. Tha Fans aka The Camren Shippers

What’s an FBI when you got ‘em Camren Shippers?? LMAO. These people notice everything even the girls’ fingernails. I’m not even kidding. These people are so good in making ‘em Camren videos, it’s like they went to Harvard to study film making. Lol. They mastered the art of stalking that even the girls’ very  distant relative or clueless neighbor can’t get away. What can I say? It’s complicated. ;)

Some Camren analyzing videos and blogs make sense while some are far too reaching.

 I’ll give you some links to my fave camren videos. ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed55zRm9A-4

^^This one is a long vid showing Camren interaction from January to June 2016. You can see their awkwardness in there. It’ll make you delusional. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_qHPdPAk6A

^^ This one is a crack vid by heybooboodaddi, Camren Shippers’ resident comedienne. It’s super hilarious. This one’s the latest crack vid and it hits so much points. It’s kinda exposing Camila.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_E__YMx0gs

^^ A reaction to Booboodaddi’s crack vid. Those people represent me. CaliforniaLuv84 makes hilarious reaction vids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvx9n3KX5tU

^^ If you wanna drown in Camren feels, you better watch this vid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJiLH1e326o

^^ You gotta see this too but you gotta prepare lotsa tissues ‘cause yer gonna be Crying in Camren. T_T.

Originally posted by camilamexicubanbooty

Hail ye Camren Shippers! Woooh! :D

Sooo that’s it.

Wait, gonna give you a fucking bonus.

BONUS PART: 

Remember the supposed Camren kiss on Dinah’s snapchat last year which she deleted minutes after? She posted it on snapchat few days before VMAs 2016. Then during the VMAs Camren was a little less awkward. They were standing and sitting next to each other, talking and laughing. They were kinda happy that time. They probably knew it was their last VMAs together so they made the best out of it. Sooo, in that snapchat I don’t think those were bags. I’ll make you guys believe. It’s the most concrete proof that makes me believe that Camren is or was real. Whenever I doubt about Camren, I always go back to this video and get my Camren hopes up.

Here’s the vid.

ispy with my little eyes. ;)

This was the VMAs days after that snapchat!! T_T


Thoughts - I feel like they are aware of the fact that they are so perfect for each other. Dude, that is why they became uncomfortable about it because they acknowledge the fact that it could be real, it could be true.  Because if it were ever real and they didn’t have the chance to make it public, they’ll be stuck thinking how it would feel like being free to show their love for each other, not hiding. They will always have that “what-ifs” until they’re free and get the chance to try it again. If that time comes, they’re free to tell and show the world the truth. Right now, it’s just complicated. So much is on the line. Their careers on top of it all. Who would’ve known they would end up like that? Wow, what a beautiful love story. Let’s give it let’s say 2 or 3 years more. Maybe till then they’ll come through. 

CAMREN IS REAL, BITCHES! Bah Felicia!


(Credits to everyone whom I grabbed those pics, gifs and videos from)

Perfect Just the Way You Are*

AU Bucky x Reader Fic

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky x Reader  |  Word Count: 3781
Warnings: It’s about a porn star… if you need me to tell you it’s NSFW and full Smut then you probably shouldn’t be on my blog.

For @this-kitty-has-claws, my tumblr wife. Yes, you finally wore me down. Here you go. *whiner* The gif she wanted me to use is under the cut.

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Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader) Pt. 4

Princess97:  I’ve decided I’m going to be a porn star.

Sebastian let out a small snort as he read the message on his phone. Ever since the picture exchange, the two of you had been texting nonstop. You moved on from the silly chatroom and gave each other your real phone numbers. It was a risky move on his behalf, but being the typical Leo he was, Sebastian liked to live dangerously every once in a while.

SexySeaBass82: Pornhub or Brazzers?

He snickered like a child as he sent the text, grinning like an idiot. He looked back up at the set before him. He had just finished filming an exhausting, yet epic fight scene which he was highly proud of. The dull ache in his muscles let him know ahead of time that he’d be feeling everything tonight.

Princess97: You perv! pornhub is where the mula is.

SexySeaBass82: I think it’s safe to say that I’d be your biggest fan, doll face.

Princess97: You know what I just realized?

Sebastian cackled as he typed his witty reply and hit the send button with lightning speed.

SexySeaBass82: That I’m daddy material? ;)

Princess97: No, that you’re probably older than electricity.

SexySeaBass82: I know you can’t see it, but I’m giving you the middle finger right now. (:

He set his phone down as soon as he saw Anthony and Jeremy making their way over to him. The two men were arguing about which character could take who. Of course, Anthony was convinced Falcon could destroy Hawkeye, but Jeremy was having none of it.

“All I’d have to do is shoot you out of the sky!”

“Not before Red Wing gets his sights on you!”

Sebastian fought the urge to laugh at the two as they stood in front of him. “Seb, tell him the truth before I do.” Anthony reasoned. Jeremy snorted, taking a sip from his water bottle. He’d never say it out loud, but Sebastian was a huge fan of Hawkeye, and when it came down to it, he felt Falcon would take a beating from the archer.

“Nope!” he held up his hands in defense. “I’m not taking any part of this! I’m like Bucky, completely innocent.”

Before any of them could reply, Sebastian’s text tone went off, causing the three men to jump and peer down at his phone. His phone, which was glowing, the text showing the following words:

Princess97: I wonder what else you can give me. ;)

“Oh, damn!” Anthony cackled as he snatched the phone from the chair. “Who is Princess97?”

Sebastian immediately shot up from his seat and wrestled the phone out of the man’s hand. Jeremy bent over, his hands on his knees as he cackled loudly. He would never let this go, Sebastian was sure of it. One sentence, and the entire cast would know of his little flirty texting buddy.

“None of your damn business!” he spat, placing his phone in his pocket.

“Ninety seven doesn’t stand for the actual year, does it?” Anthony teased, elbowing Jeremy as they roared with laughter.

“Hey Seb,” Jeremy chimed in. “What kind of formula do you give her?”

The two men burst into hysterics, catching the eyes of several crew members. Usually, Sebastian would have laughed along, but instead, he felt his face heating up with embarrassment. You weren’t that young. Hell, there’s a lot of people who talk to younger people, so what was the deal? You were of legal age, which was totally fine. Then again, his mom would probably give him a slap if she found out he was flirting with a nineteen year old.

“For your information,” he sassed, sitting back into his seat. “She’s really hot. Get with the winning team, guys.”

“Who’s hot?”

The three men turned around to see a very exhausted Chris in his stealth suit. He scratched the back of his head lazily as he peered between the men curiously.

“Sebastian here’s got himself some jailbait.” Jeremy spoke before taking off towards his trailer before Sebastian could catch him. Chris furrowed his brows as he looked over at his friend. This was absolutely not how he planned this to get out.

“What’s all this talk about jailbait?” he asked as he took the seat beside him. Seb groaned and placed his head in his hands.

“It’s literally all lies,” he told him. “She’s perfectly legal, just a bit younger.”

“How young?” Chris asked, his brow raising in disappointment.

“Nineteen.” Sebastian answered after a long silence.

“Oh thank goodness,” Chris breathed dramatically, placing his hand over his left boob once again. “I thought you meant she was young.”

“She is young.” He admitted. “Fifteen years.”

Chris let out a snort as he pulled out his phone. “Well, Seabass,” he sung as he unlocked his phone.

Make sure you burp her after feeding her, m’kay?” he teased before sprinting off as fast as he could in the same direction Jeremy ran in. 

Sebastian sighed, sinking into his seat.

What on earth was he going to do with these idiots?


You were snuggled on your sofa, scrolling through your Tumblr dashboard, when you heard the theme song of one of your favorite TV shows being to play. It was The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. You loved that guy more than anything, he could always cheer you up when you felt down. 

“Good evening folks, our guest tonight is the one and only…Sebastian Stan!” 

Immediately, your ears perked up at the name. That was the actor Sebastian was in love with. Your head cocked to the side as you realized the two men had the same first names. You shrugged, it was probably a coincidence, right? 

“Here’s your tea, Y/N!” your roommate chimed as she handed you a matching mug. You gave her a quick smile before returning your gaze to the TV. 

“So Sebastian,” Stephen said. “I understand you and Anthony Mackie are quite the duo on set.” You found your eyes focused on the actor’s face, taking in his features. You understood why Sebastian was obsessed with this guy. He was freaking gorgeous. And that jawline -man, that looked like it could cut diamonds. And those steel blue eyes! He was a total babe. 

“Yeah, we’ve grown pretty close these past few months. We even gave each other nicknames.” Stan said as he giggled, his face turning a deep red. 

“Oh? Do share these nicknames, Sebastian!” Stephen mused, earning a bunch of cheers from the crowd, mostly from women. 

You took a sip of your tea, your eyes set on the blue eyed man on the screen as he said the following words. 

“Well, he likes to call me Sexy Sea Bass.” 

The tea in your mouth sprayed all over the screen in front of you, even landing on your roommate’s lap as well as yours. She let out a shriek before jumping out of her seat and pointing an accusing finger at you. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” she exclaimed, her face twisting into a scowl. 

You stared at the screen, your eyes completely wide with distraught as the man repeated the nickname for a second time. 

“Yeah man, I’m telling you,” he laughed along with Stephen.

 “He calls me Sexy Sea Bass!”

-Fin!

Tag list of super awesome people!

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @abigailredgrave @adrianabribiescacortes @sheriwallace123 @the-lazy-leprechaun @theunknownangel62 @abovethesmokestacks @diana-daydreamer @amrita31199 @jezzula @loricameback @sebbyismyking @jamesbarnesblog @claryfray1698 @twinklingstarlight @netflixa @tatortot2701 @winterboobaer @ihavetwobuckystomyname @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @melconnor2007 @kaitskennedyy @kaykayvoltage53 @livforthegames @dracu-ma-bucky @shieldagentofthemonth @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @buckybarnesbestbabe @witheringblooddemon @lostinspace33 @jenna-luke @bellaballanda @confuzzled-panda @astralbarnes @38leticia @davinaciaire @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @marveloussssworld @christynjay @mizzzpink @nottheopera @beebossinner @meganlane84 @adrianabribiescacortes @chou-maitresse @permanent-lines @the-winter-avengerrrrr @dontsassmecastiel @jeylockley @i-am-amora-the-enchantress @addictivewriter @sebbeanstan @gerardwayisapotato

If I forgot to tag you, or your tag isn’t working, pls let me know (i promise you won’t be a bother!)

Also, if I tagged you in the wrong fics, pls let me know as well!

Tags for this series are closed babez ;(

thedarkaquarian  asked:

So despite the ocean of content I've seen I can't for the life of me figure out if Carmilla is a movie, tv show, or web thing. Banish my ignorance please.

(Warning: Long answer with minor spoilers)

Okay, it won’t be easy explaining the nature and draw of Carmilla to a non-Carmilla fan. But for you, I’m damn well going to try.

Carmilla is a low-budget, Canadian web series on YouTube, created by KindaTV and sponsored by a tampon company. It spans over 3 seasons and 109 episodes, each of which lasts around 2-7 minutes. That is, if you don’t count the Christmas Special and Season Zero.

Loosely adapted from Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu’s 19th century vampire novella of the same, the show’s story revolves around a lesbian journalism student, Laura Hollis (Elise Bauman), who enrolled at Silas University in Styria of modern-day Austria. A few weeks into her first semester, Laura’s roommate Betty went missing. All that was left behind was a notification card, written in multiple choice and covered in mysterious yellow goo. 

No sooner had Laura informed a rather apathetic university administration about her missing roommate did a dark-haired, emo-looking woman in leather pants barge into her dorm room. Her name was Carmilla (Natasha Negovanlis) and she was Laura’s new roommate. Suspicious of the circumstances surrounding Betty’s disappearance, Laura conducts an informal vlog investigation with a ragtag group of redheads and a good-natured (but dumb) frat boy, all the while enduring Carmilla’s condescending remarks, confectionery-based pet names, and “annoying” attempts to dissuade her from the task.

Along the way, Laura discovers Carmilla’s secret identity and they eventually fall for each other, though neither of them voice it at first. She, Carmilla and the rest of the Scooby gang would also encounter a sentient library, the Dean’s supernatural proclivities, an alchemy club, a vampire cabal, a kidnapping conspiracy, an angler fish god, and mushroom spores that could turn the student body into zombies – all of which exist on a campus that literally survives on the power of Sumerian mythos. And that’s just Season 1.

Season 2 sees them battling against evil corporate in the form of Silas’ Board Members, a shadowy business enterprise called Corvae, and Carmilla’s vampire sister, Matska Belmonde (Sophia Walker), not to mention a Silas version of a Nazi SS squad, hell bent on eliminating anything remotely supernatural (vampires included) from campus grounds. In Season 3, the stakes (pun intended) are raised even higher, as Laura, Carmilla and a redhead bio major, Lafontaine, attempt to stop an impending apocalypse that was being caused by a Sumerian goddess.

What impressed critics most about the Carmilla series was that:

(a) The entire show was filmed in vlog format, with just one camera angle. By all accounts, this should have been an unmitigated disaster, storytelling-wise. However, the quality of the show’s script and the stellar performance of the main and supporting cast, especially the palpable chemistry between Natasha and Elise, have made the series a phenomenon beyond all expectations (and they were pretty low to begin with). The YouTube series has now racked up more than 70 million views with fans (affectionately called ‘creampuffs’) scattered across 193 countries (http://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/carmilla-web-series-movie-1.4367622). Moreover, it has won numerous awards, including the AfterEllen Visibility Awards and the Canadian Screen Awards.

(b) Another reason for the show’s success lies in the representation of its LGBTQIA characters. The romantic relationship between the main protagonists, Laura and Carmilla, was less about their sexual orientation and more about how it fluctuated and developed throughout the mortal dangers that they face each season. There was no protracted agony over the fact that they’re both lesbians and focus was mainly on their growth as characters in their own right. The majority of the supporting characters were also well-rounded and hardly walking clichés. The Carmilla cast even consisted of a non-binary person and people of color. So, the series ticks most of the boxes for those in the LGBTQIA community, who feel starved of representation.

© The show’s lovable campiness and humor, which was often based on pop culture references, slapstick montages, and witty one-liners and ripostes, make it accessible to its viewers, regardless of whether or not they belong to the targeted demographic. However, the humor was well-integrated into the writing and never detracted from the impact of the show’s more serious and, sometimes, heart-wrenching moments.

(d) The series overturns the Bury Your Gays trope – a sore point among the LGBTQIA community after the demise of Lexa in 100 and beloved gay characters on other shows.

Riding on the coattails of Carmilla’s accomplishments, the showrunners decided to turn the web series into a movie as a love letter to the fans of the series. Their official announcement of the film whipped the Carmilla fandom into a frenzy, with many yelling, “Shut up and take my money!” from the rooftops.

The resulting film - just released in late October 2017 - saw one-third of its funds coming from the fans alone; an unconventional feat achieved by an already unconventional series. Being a small, independent film, The Carmilla Movie didn’t exactly light the box office on fire with its limited cinematic release in Canada. But the online response to the film with respect to its Internet release was extraordinary. Rave reviews about the movie poured into Twitter, Instagram, IMDB, Tumblr, and its distribution platforms, Fullscreen and VHX. So, just like its previous YouTube incarnation, the film was a resounding success and currently scores a rating of 9.7/10 on IMDB. The creampuffs appear to be appeased at the moment, though they are now clamoring for a sequel.

I hope that I have banished your ignorance about Carmilla. If you wish to watch it, you can do so by following the links in the order prescribed below:

(1) Season 1 (Carmilla - The Series | S1 E1 “Disorientation”)

(2) Christmas Special (Carmilla | The Christmas Special)

(3) Season 2 (Carmilla | S2 E1 “Brave New World”)

(4) Season 0 (Carmilla | S0 E1 “Blast From The Past”)

(5) Season 3 (Carmilla | S3 E1 “I Know What You Didn’t Do Last Summer”)

(6) The Carmilla Movie (https://www.fullscreen.com/) - Requires paid membership. Free one-week subscription trial available.

Ciao!

The Way I See You

Genre: Oneshot. Fluff, getting together, friends to lovers, reality

Summary: Fiction. Dan’s shocked when he realises that Phil’s self-conscious about the way he looks. Apparently Phil doesn’t know that he isn’t allowed to be sad when Dan’s around. So Dan takes it upon himself to fix the situation - by complimenting something about Phil’s appearance every day. Trouble is, Dan isn’t very good at hiding his teensy tiny crush on Phil. (Originally written for the phanfic exchange from a prompt from comeonitsphan)

Warnings: Some swearing

Word Count: 11k

A/N: This is the fic I wrote for the phanfic exchange quite a while ago ^_^ It was a really fun experience! I wrote this before the tour happened, so the radio show was still going on. Enjoy the getting together phan schmoop <3

Edited by the lovely OvereducatedAndOverworked, thank you so much for doing this on such short notice! <3

AO3 Link


“I can’t believe you actually said that!”

Dan’s voice was indignant as they crashed through the door into their apartment. He shook his head, a fond smile playing at his lips as he turned to regard his best friend, close behind him as they made for the kitchen.

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Have you been to a cinema lately?“, he asked while the cold wind of this December night blew several strands of his dark hair around his face, "sometimes it feels as if the actual plot, the actual art, would lose its priority. There are so many who simply watch a film because of the actors that are in it…”, he trailed off, apparently unsure what he himself should do with that information.
He looked up at the clear night sky, traced the stars above with his eyes and eventually continued while I could not help looking at him in awe: “But when I am on a theater stage… God, it is so different. No one goes to a theater only to see a certain actor - not exclusively, at least.
Especially not if they’re playing Brecht, Schiller or Dante tonight. The genius of those plays simply outclasses anything else. I just wish that there were more young writers, nowadays, with the courage to create something entirely new instead of trying to recreate the genius of passed days.
That is not art, that’s imitation.”
He exhaled the smoke of his cigarette in the freezing air and shook his head slightly before catching my gaze.
When he spoke again, it was barely more than a whisper.
“Can you believe that I am so afraid of being one of them? That I am scared I’ll never create actual art?
—  // excerpt of a story I wrote on a rooftop in Vienna
j.d.m.
3

• Imagine an AU where Jake and Amy are famous movie stars. Jake Peralta’s famous for doing action movies while Amy Santiago’s famous for doing romantic movies. Director Holt works for the movie company Hollywood 99 Productions. He’s directing a movie called “Johnny And Dora” a buddy-cop rom com. He casts Jake and Amy as his leads.

• Rosa is Amy’s bodyguard. Terry is Jake’s bodyguard. Jake and Amy and their bodyguards meet and Terry fangirls over Amy. He’s watched all of her movies. Rosa would never admit it but she was secretly hyped to meet one of her favorite action movie stars. Jake and Amy instantly get into an argument over who’s more famous. They compare amount Instagram and Twitter followers and their success in the box office. They both start to feel like the next few months of filming are gonna be hell.

• Amy almost considers dropping out of the movie. She’s known for doing serious, romantic movies, not romcoms. She tells Rosa about how she’s feeling. Rosa lectures here. “You work in an industry dominated by white people. You know how often we get a Latina character that isn’t a maid? You need to do this movie on behalf of those Cuban little girls out there that want to see themselves represented on the big screen.” Amy realizes that Rosa’s right, she has to do this.

• Director Holt wants to promote the movie so he hires PR manager Gina Linetti. It’s her job to get fans excited for the movie. Gina comes up with the genius idea to have Jake and Amy pretend to date to get publicity. “Zac and Vanessa pretended to date during the High School Musical era, Rob and Kristen faked their relationship during Twilight. Why can’t Jake and Amy do the same?” Jake and Amy are horrified by this idea. Then Jake starts to choke back his tears. “Zanessa was fake? My whole life is a lie!”

• Jake and Amy hang out in the open where fans and paparazzi can find and film them. They force themselves to laugh and smile and look as in love as possible. Fans and magazines speculate that they’re dating. Peraltiago fan accounts are already starting to form, although most of those are Gina.

• Jake and Amy start to have fun with this. Their forced smiles start to become more genuine. Jake goofs around and pulls out chairs for Amy, holds open doors, gives her his jacket. Amy kisses him on the cheek. Sometimes they do it even when they don’t see any fans or paparazzi near by. They start having genuine conversations. Amy tells Jake about the time she went to a dinner party at Angelina Jolie’s house. Jake tells Amy about the time he threw a party in Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s beach house when he was out of town. They’re really starting to enjoy fake dating. More Peraltiago fan accounts are made on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and they call can’t wait to see Jake and Amy on “Johnny And Dora”

• One day, Jake and Amy are out and about and Amy notices Charles Boyle hiding in the bushes with his camera. Charles runs all the biggest celebrity gossip blogs. If he snapped a scandalous picture of them, Peraltiago would be on ever single magazine. Amy wants that promotion, so she grabs Jake’s face (and his ass) and kisses him hard. Jake’s startled at first, but starts to kiss her back. He wraps his arms around her waist. Amy pulls back when she sees from the corner of her eye that Charles scurried away.

• Jake regains his composure and says, “Amy, I knew there was something between us, but I wasn’t sure if you felt it too.” Amy realizes that she never really cared for PR. She kissed Jake because she wanted to. They start dating for real. Now that they’re actually dating, they crave more privacy. It’s hard to have special moments to keep to yourself when fans are filming you on their phone wherever you go. Peraltiago fans go crazy. There are Peraltiago fics all over Tumblr, Wattpad, and AO3. Gina and Rosa read this fics and laugh over how poorly written some of them are. Then they come across one really good fic and realize that Terry wrote it. He’s been posting his own Peraltiago fics on Tumblr. They confront him about it. He says, “Terry can’t help it! Terry loves love!”

• Months pass and it’s finally time for the red carpet premiere of “Johnny And Dora” and Gina sets up a livestream of the red carpet so fans can watch from home. It goes great until a drunk Teddy stumbles onto stage. He’s done movies with Amy before and hooked up with her once, years ago. He’s been pursuing her ever since.

• He slow claps and walks towards Jake and Amy. He faces the camera. “Unbelievable. I can’t believe you people actually believe this charade. This is all clearly PR!” Amy calls for security but Rosa (and Gina) were elsewhere.

• Jake steps between Amy and Teddy. “How dare you! I love Amy!” the crowd gasps. Amy faces Jake. “Jake, I love you too!” the two of them embrace in a passionate kiss. Teddy starts laughing and hiccuping. “Wow, Amy, no wonder you have two Oscars! I actually believed that you were in love with Snake Peralta!” #SnakePeralta starts trending on Twitter. Amy gets in Teddy’s face. “Yes, I do have two Oscars, because I had to pick up the slack whenever we did a movie! You’re acting’s so bland that all you have is a Teen Choice Award!” The entire room goes DAAAAMMMMNNNNN!!!

• Jake pushes Teddy off of Amy. “She’s not into you, Teddy Bear!” Teddy puts up his fists. “Oh yeah? How about this? We fight. Winner get’s Amy!” Jake’s disgusted and lectures, “Women are not prizes that can just be won! They can make their own decisions, and Amy chooses me!” #FeministPeralta starts trending on Twitter. Jake decides to declare his love for Amy right then and there in front of all of these people. He gets down on one knee and reaches into his pocket. “Amy Santiago, will you–”

• “–JAKE NO STOP IT!” Amy yells. Jake stands up and whispers into her ear, “Thank you so much for rejecting me, I didn’t have a ring in my pocket. I was going to tie a string around your finger.” Terry finally gets a hold of Teddy and gets him to leave the premises.“ After that, everybody knew for sure that Jake and Amy are in love and nothing about them was PR. #PeraltiagoIsEngame starts trending on Twitter.

• “Johnny And Dora” is a huge success, it gets great reviews and does well in the box office. Charles never stops stalking Jake and Amy and selling pics of them together to celebrity gossip sites. Jake and Amy’s careers continue to grow. They become the new Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. Jake proposes for real five years later and they have a daughter named Jenny two years later.

• Gina Linetti gets her own reality tv show of her life in the Boyle-Linetti house. Keeping Up With The Boyle-Linetti’s exposes the glamorous life of Gina Linetti, her step brother that she’s banged, Charles, and her girlfriend Rosa Diaz. Charles uses this opportunity of living with Rosa and Gina to constantly snap pics of them together, because fans sure do love them some Dianetti.

• Amy wins three more Oscars. Jake wins two Oscars. Director Holt wins several awards for his directing. Gina breaks the world record for winning the most Teen Choice Awards. Rosa becomes a bisexual icon. Terry cries tears of joy because Jake arranged for him to meet his idol, Meryl Streep. The 99 rule Hollywood.