i love them more than almost anything

Buried Hope: Coda 13x2

A not 100% angsty coda to last night’s episode. You can also read it on Ao3 Here.


Dean practically crawled out of that room. It was too much, the sight of Jack, what he did. And Dean knew he’d screwed things up again. When he had the Mark, he did something like what Jack did. He remembered the many ways he’d tried to end himself. Seeing Jack like that froze him up. He said the wrong things. Jack was just a child, if Sam was to be believed. It was what Dean had wanted to hear though, when he was in the same state.

It could have helped Jack. Dean knew though that it didn’t, that he was wrong, that he should go back and say anything. He sucked at this sort of thing, grieving, losing, living. He was maybe entirely broken now if he was letting a kid go through that. And all he could offer him was death as comfort. Dean pressed his head to the wall and let the tears fall. He was alone in his room. No one needed to know what all of this was doing to him.

If Cas were here he’d fix this, things might make sense. “How am I supposed to do this?” He was tapping the wall with his forehead now. The motion repeating, faster and more frustrated. Dean realized he was praying to Cas, and that the prayer would never reach him. More tears came.

He didn’t know what was right anymore. There seemed to be no point, no light at the end of the darkness, no reward or even peace. “I don’t have any love left in me. You took it with you, you goddamn sonofabitch.” Dean was losing it more and more. His face was a mess of tears now. His breathing came in rough gaps.

“Dean,” Jack said as he walked slowly into the room.

“Leave,” Dean said, quietly but with an edge that held a threat in it.

Clearly not seeing the situation for what it was, Jack took another step and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause his death or my mother’s death. I don’t know how to fix that. I’m sorry I hurt you. I don’t know how to fix that either.”

“You can’t fix shit, Jack.” Dean hazarded a look at him past eyes that were swollen now from the crying he’d needed to do. Jack moved toward him, raising a hand. “Don’t.”

Jack ignored him and set his hand on Dean’s shoulder anyway. “I can show you what he showed me.”

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cattatonically  asked:

Trick or treat - UshiDai

come trick-or-treat in my inbox requesting ficcies and I’ll either treat you to some fluff or humor or trick you with a horribly twisted/sad AU (I’ll use a random generator to pick trick or treat)

send me “trick or treat” and a character(s) or ship in my inbox

TREAT

Daichi leans on the fence separating Ushijima’s garden from the street, watching quietly as Ushijima tends to a patch of bright blue flowers across the path. He doesn’t know what most of them are called, or what they mean, or what properties they have, but he knows that Ushijima cares for them more than almost anything, and that makes Daichi love them too. There’s a vine of delicate purple flowers growing up the side of the fence he leans on, and as he stands there they wind carefully around his wrists, caressing at his skin with their petals.

He’s so busy wondering how to extract himself that he doesn’t notice that Ushijima has approached until he hears a deep laugh just in front of him. “They like you.”

Daichi grins up at him. “Apparently.” He looks down at them, the green of the vines and leaves, the bright purple and pink of the petals, and thinks of how much effort and care Ushijima put into helping them grow. His voice is soft as he continues, more like he’s talking to the plants than anything. “I like them too.”

The petals flutter and tremble as they back away, and Daichi thinks it’s the plant equivalent of blushing and giggling as they try to hide away. He just smiles and shakes his head, pulling his wrists away after they’ve let him go. When he looks up again Ushijima has a gorgeous smile on his face, and Daichi is overcome with the urge to kiss it.

It’s easy enough to hook his fingers in the collar of Ushijima’s shirt, to pull him down and press their lips together. It’s even easier to pull away and watch the blush cross his cheeks, and Daichi smiles and leans in to kiss him again, and again. There’s no one around this early except for them and the garden, and Daichi takes the melodious rustling of the various leaves and stems as the approval it is.

There’s nothing better than kissing in the early morning sunlight, surrounded by nature at its best and the feeling of overwhelming love.

anonymous asked:

can we get some hcs for soft boy richie??

YESS HES SUCH A FUCKING SOFT BOY

(thank you @eddiesbadbreak and @stanleyuriis for some of the HCs ily)

- God, Richie is such a hopeless romantic underneath all the bullshit he spews.

- Richie is starved for attention and affection at home, which often makes him question whether he deserves that at all. So he craves attention so much, especially from Eddie.

- When they’re not bickering or joking around, Richie is so sweet with Eddie. But he definitely has to be in that mood. When Eddie is affectionate with him, calls him pet names or says that he loves Richie, Richie pretty much crumbles.

- Tbh the first time Eddie says “I love you”, Richie almost tears up because like… no one says that to him. It means more than anything because someone actually loves him and he loves them back and it’s all so amazing.

- He’s pretty sensitive, especially when it comes to his insecurities and his family situation. He totally does not show it often though, and the only people that know the true extent of how he’s feeling inside are Eddie and Bev.

- Richie is SUCH a cuddler, and often likes to be the one cuddled. He loves being the little spoon or being the one to rest his head on Eddie’s chest instead of the other way around. He loves laying with his head on Eddie’s lap when they’re with the other Losers.

- If Eddie runs his fingers through his hair, he melts instantly. He loves that shit.

- In general, he loves being taken care of by Eddie. He’s never had anyone take care of him before, so if Eddie ever acts that way it makes Richie so happy. It makes Eddie happy too because he’s always the one being babied, so he loves being on the other side especially because he just… cares so much and has so much love to give to Richie?

- Like one time Eddie packs Richie lunch for school and Richie’s like !!! This is what true bliss is. He’s smiling all day from this small gesture.

- It’s so canon that Richie keeps a spare inhaler for Eddie.

- Any time anyone laughs at his jokes it makes him SO happy. He feels awesome if people actually think he’s funny.

- Also if anyone compliments him, he’ll brush it off or make a joke out of it but everyone can always see how happy and mushy that makes him as well. He feels so valid when he feels like the people he loves love him back.

- Secretly when no one’s there, Richie and Eddie are SO fucking cheesy with each other omg. They call each other pet names. Besides the typical “Eds” or “Eddie Spaghetti” that Richie calls Eddie, he also very often calls him “babe” (which Eddie loves), or he’ll get real creative and call him absurd things like “Snicker Doodle” or “Cuddle Muffin” (which Eddie hates)

- Eddie will often call Richie “Rich”, “Red” or “Sweetie” and Richie dies every time he always gets butterflies in his stomach

- They go on cheesy dates a lot of the time: Stargazing, Rollerblading, even sharing a milkshake with two straws. A lot of the time though, the two like spending the whole day being lazy and staying in bed and eating junk food.

- Richie is super gentle with Eddie, but Eddie is also super gentle with Richie? Especially if Richie is upset, Eddie is so patient with him and will stay up comforting him all night if that’s what he wants. They’re just really careful with each other.

- Bev sometimes paints his nails and Richie really likes the way they look. He usually only lets her do one hand, though.

- Richie also loves when Bev puts hair clips in his hair to push his bangs back. She did it for the first time when making Richie do a face mask with her, but after Richie said he thought it looked really cute she continued.

- He even started doing it to keep his bangs out of his eyes when he was doing work at home. Eddie thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. Richie also loves headbands.

- Richie has THE LONGEST LASHES and SO MANY FRECKLES HE’S JUST SO PRETTY

- In general, Richie is actually so caring with his friends? I mean of course, he’ll roast and make fun of them to the moon and back but in reality they’re the most important people in his life and he would die for any one of them any day.

- No one would expect it, but he always remembers birthdays and anniversaries. He writes such long cards for all the Losers whenever it’s their birthday, talking about why he thinks each of them individually is awesome and making long lists of all the inside jokes they have together.

- He also is the best gift giver. His gifts are so thoughtful even if they’re small. He remembers what people told him they wanted months ago, or he gives them gifts that have to do with inside jokes. Things that only he could gift.

- Richie always stands up for any of the Losers without even a second thought. After Henry and his gang are gone, it’s rare for them to get bullied, especially in High School. If they ever do, it’s all verbal. They don’t really get beat up anymore. But if anyone is being a dick to any of his friends, he ALWAYS stands up to them and isn’t afraid to cuss them out, even if it means him getting detention.

- He also comforts them after they get picked on. Even underclassmen he doesn’t know. If he sees a freshman getting picked on, he’ll tell the bully to fuck off and smile so wide at the kid, telling them they’re okay!

- Tbh everyone in High School LOVES him. They think he can be kinda annoying sometimes, but he’s a genuinely good guy and he’s super funny.

- Richie is that cheesy boyfriend that picks flowers to give to Eddie. They also put flowers in each other’s long hair and Richie takes a million pictures.

- Richie saves and pressed into a book the flowers that Eddie got him after the opening night of the school musical he was starring in. His heart skipped a beat when Eddie brought him flowers and told him how amazing he was.

- As adults, Richie is so caring about Eddie especially after dealing with losing his arm. He’s so accommodating and supporting and just loves Eddie so much. After he knows Eddie is okay, all he wants is to have a happy life with him.

- As an adult, Eddie also calls Richie “Reggie” because of one time where another radio host introduced him as “Reggie Tozier.” Like you don’t even know how funny this was to Eddie. It made him tear up from laughter for like a full week after it happened, so to tease him sometimes Eddie will call him that. Richie acts like it pisses him off but he thinks it’s pretty funny himself.

- Richie’s the type of husband that comes home with flowers and is like “BAAAABE I GOT YOU FLOWERS AREN’T I THE BEST HUSBAND EVER”

- Holy shit Richie is SUCH a softie when it comes to him marrying Eddie and later when they adopt/surrogate children. Richie cries for half the wedding and then after they get their kids he tears up like EVERY damn day about it.

- He’s just so happy to actually have a family? For once in his life? Like HE built this. It’s HIS family. He gets to come home every day to such happiness it’s like unreal to him it makes him get choked up.

- BEFORE THEIR FIRST KID ARRIVES RICHIE CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW CUTE BABY SHOES ARE.

- HE BUYS SO MANY PAIRS OF BABY SHOES THEY’RE SO SMALL THERES NO WAY THEIR CHILD’S FOOT WILL BE THAT SMALL CAN ANYTHING EVEN BE THAT SMALL??

- BUT THEN IT IS THAT SMALL AND ITS AMAZING HE LOVES IT.

- Even as adults Richie and Eddie always go on such nice dates. They never get sick of being together, especially since they feel like they have to make up for so much lost time. When they’re back together as adults it feels like falling in love all over again except this time they can actually be together and it makes Richie thank God for real.

- It’s so fucking important for Richie to be a good dad since he knows what it’s like to have horrible parents. He just wants to do what’s right.

- Overall Richie is such a sweetheart under all those dick jokes. He’s so fucking soft and good. That’s all.

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Thor: Ragnarok Movie Clip - Get Help (2017) | Movieclips Coming Soon
Thor: Ragnarok Movie Clip - Get Help (2017): Check out the new clip starring Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston! Be the first to watch, comment, and share cl...

I’m gonna deconstruct this scene because I’ve been thinking about it ALL DAY and what the hell, I’ve got time. This clip demonstrates what I love most about Taika Waititi’s filmmaking and it shows off Chris and Tom’s chemistry in the fiercest way. It’s hilarious, sweet, bittersweet, surprising, and poignant.

1) “Loki, I thought the world of you.” 

Even though there was an instinctive part of me that screamed, “OK, WELL, YOUR ACTIONS TOLD A DIFFERENT STORY, THOR” due to residual bitterness over what a dickbag Thor was in the first film, I’m 1,000% here for this line. I’m proud of how much Thor has matured, thrilled that these two are actually talking to each other, and happy that Loki’s hearing something he’s probably always wanted/needed to hear even though it’s bittersweet because Thor’s using the past tense.

Tom’s reaction here is SO GOOD. Just the tiniest shift in his eyebrows to indicate that Thor has Loki’s attention and he’s fucking locked in and hanging on to every word.

2) “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever, but at the end of the day you’re you and I’m me.”

I know there was a minor (?) uproar over Chris’ comments that Thor will be “indifferent” to Loki in Ragnarok, but this scene seems to suggest a kind of acceptance rather than indifference. Maybe for the first time, Thor truly seems to have accepted that he and Loki are fundamentally different beings–and by extension, he’s accepting Loki’s nature. Yes, part of that acceptance means letting go and moving on (note: I did not say giving up) and that’s sad, but realistic I think. How many fakeout deaths and stabbings can a person be expected to withstand? “You’re you” is a significant break in pattern for Thor and Loki appears genuinely taken aback by it.

“You’re you” is a huge deal because to me, the brothers’ central conflict has always boiled down to the fact that Loki isn’t Thor (thanks, Odin, for exacerbating this tension). For Loki, that fact is a source of self-loathing and resentment, something that he can act out against and, as Tom has often said, define himself in opposition to.

By the same token I think it’s become clearer that what Loki thinks of Thor matters to Thor. For an older sibling, having a younger sibling who looks up to you and wants to be like you is perhaps one of the biggest indicators that you’re a good–dare I say worthy–person. Ever since Loki let go of Gungnir Thor has struggled to make sense of Loki’s rejection, to define himself without the security of having his brother by his side. With that in mind I’ve always seen Thor’s past attempts to bring Loki back to the “good” side as heartfelt and genuine, but also somewhat ego-driven and shortsighted because it came at the expense of Loki’s autonomy and self-identification.

Cut to now. By acknowledging that he and Loki are each their own person, Thor’s relieving Loki of the pressure and expectation to be anyone other than himself. In a way that’s a gift, but it’s also terribly sad because it’s accompanied by loss for both of them. Which brings me to:

3) “I dunno, maybe there’s still good in you but let’s be honest: our paths diverged a long time ago.”

It’s in this moment that Loki really seems to realize where this conversation is headed. And he doesn’t like it.

We know Loki lives to test Thor. It’s his (super dysfunctional and unhealthy) way of making sure Thor still cares about him. In The Dark World, Loki tests Thor’s assertions that he doesn’t trust him and has lost hope for him by … getting himself impaled. Yeah, “dying” was also his “get out of jail free, usurp the throne” card, but it’s not insignificant that he calls Thor’s bluff in the process. 

4) “Yeah. It’s probably for the best that we never see each other again.”

Speaking of calling Thor’s bluff, I think Loki–because he’s a smart little fucker–says this in order to get ahead of the conversation. He knows what’s coming, so he pulls the classic “I’ll reject you before you reject me” move. But I don’t think he means it. It’s more likely that he’s trying to balance the scales so he’s not on the utter losing side of this conversation. And honestly? Deep down I doubt he can bear to hear Thor say it and by proactively agreeing with him he’s holding out hope that Thor will pull a “JK!” and change his mind.

5) “That’s what you always wanted.”

OMG THOR HAS GOTTEN SO SMART. I mean, I guess it’s within the realm of possibility that Thor is still really dumb about Loki’s feelings/motivations, but personally it’s more fun and satisfying to think he sees Loki’s test and raises him an even bigger one.

Loki’s face is so sad-funny. His plan backfired, he’s panicking a little, but he’s got to save face and play it cool, and he’s also legit sad because he knows this outcome is the culmination of his past actions and he did his part in paving this road for both of them. And at the end of the day he’s still the younger brother who doesn’t want to appear weak, so he’s doing his best to match Thor’s tone and attitude.

The moment when Loki lifts his chin and gives a little nod is a dead giveaway; never seeing Thor again is the opposite of what he wants, but he’s prepared to accept that it’s too late for anything else. It’s SO far from an apology, but for Loki it’s about the most mature thing we’ve seen him do.

The fact that for once they’re not arguing with each other is what made me tear up. It’s like they both know they should’ve had this conversation years ago, when it could have made all the difference, but at the same time they know that moment has passed. THIS IS FUCKING TRAGIC.

(If I wrote this movie, this would be the moment where they both dissolve into tears, fall on the floor, and cry-hug it out, which is why I write poetry and not screenplays.)

6) “Hey, let’s do Get Help.”

This was the beginning of the death of me, I will never be the same. I laughed so hard. On the surface this whole exchange may seem like just a gag–and it IS funny as hell–but I feel like it’s working on so many levels and reveals something deeper about Thor and Loki’s bond.

First of all, if you’re me, everything that preceded this moment was really uncomfortable and sad and almost unbearable to witness so I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that Thor and Loki were feeling some of that too.

What I love about this transition is that Thor immediately cuts through the tension, probably to put both of them at ease and bring them back into the more familiar territory of their rapid-fire banter. Loki seems a bit surprised but relieved.

IMO, this brief exchange of dialogue does more to convey Loki and Thor’s bond and establish their history than anything we’ve been shown in the previous films (not counting that deleted scene from the first movie). I thought it was really poignant to see them revert to/rely upon something from their distant past. You can tell this is an argument they’ve had a zillion times before. You can tell from the stunt itself that it’s something they’ve had many opportunities to perfect. 

Even though Loki is reluctant to participate, he does, because he still craves inclusion and acceptance. Even though Thor is no longer quite as overbearing and arrogant as he once was, he regresses into that role so that he can get his younger brother back for just a moment. It’s like they’re consoling themselves without admitting that they want to be consoled. And yeah, on a practical note they also need to find a way off of Sakaar.

In conclusion, they’ve both just conceded that their relationship has reached an impasse with no real way forward, yet in the immediate aftermath of this supposed acceptance they choose to revert to an older dynamic that reflects presumably happier times. They don’t want to quit each other. This is fine. It’s fine. I’m not crying. I love them. The end.

I’m deep in my feels right now and probably projecting a lot (HI, HELLO, I HAVE A TROUBLED YOUNGER BROTHER, I’VE NEVER USED HIM AS A PROJECTILE BUT I UNDERSTAND THE IMPULSE), but even without having seen this scene in the full context of the film, it’s my favorite Thor/Loki moment to date. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It actually brings “We were raised together, we played together, we fought together” to life in a meaningful way, whereas in The Avengers I felt like those were just words.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!

I loved you with everything I ever told you I did. I loved you to the moon and back and beyond. To infinity. More than anything I had ever loved before. Yet you still deserved more. Because I loved almost every part of you but not all of you. You had flaws that made me stressed. That made me sad. You had flaws that I found myself hating. Resenting. Wishing I could change. You have to understand that I loved you so much that I knew that you deserved someone who could love every single one of your flaws, not just most of them. I loved you so much that I understood that I couldn’t love you enough. I loved you so much that I understood that you deserve a girl who can cherish and adore even your worst weaknesses. I really hope she is that girl for you. And I hope I find a boy one of these days who can love me even more than I loved you.
Court of Dreams’ Individual Understanding of Feyre

During my reread of ACOMAF, I was struck by the unique way each member of Rhysand’s Inner Circle related to Feyre’s traumatic experiences (primarily taken from chapter 16 [family dinner]). SJM did such an amazing job with this! IRL, it doesn’t usually take just one person to help heal your past hurts—to understand—and we see this with Feyre. It takes the entire Inner Circle to help her begin to heal, and to learn she was not alone. 

Cassian understands what it is like to starve and freeze—to fight alone for survival. 

Azriel understands the horror of being imprisoned in darkness and brutally beaten, left to die. 

Amren understands being trapped in a body not her own. 

Mor understands how dreams can be stripped away and laid bare—to escape and dream anew. 

Rhys understands the terror of abuse, and what it’s like to wake up every night, every morning afraid his freedom isn’t real.  

Court of Dreams - All of them understand what it means to find a family they’d only ever dreamed of having—to love and care for and cherish one another more than anything in the world.

The Kraken’s Arms: Euron Greyjoy x Reader

Originally posted by proinsiascassidy

You are the last surviving child of Cersei and Robert’s only true heir. Having Tomman passed, you decided you didn’t want the crown, handed it to your mother and stand by her side at all times. With war coming, your mother has to make allies and the only way to make allies, is with marriage.


(Y/N) = Your Name 

***If you’re blonde, just imagine dirty blonde because you have darker colored hair in this*** 

I DID MY BEST OKAY 

Warning: Maybe smut?????? SHHhHHhhhHHH.  

Your mother, never looked better on the Iron Throne. You knew you were never fit to sit on it, rule over everyone when so many people were against you and your house. The last surviving Baratheon child of Cersei Lannister and Robert Baratheon. 

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anonymous asked:

'you want to have kids with me?' for your line blurbs pleaaase xx

You want to have kids with me?

“What do you think our kid will look like?” she asked me suddenly, sliding her cold feet into my lap. I let my fingers rub them gently, gazing wondering up at her.

“Our what?”

“Our kid. Or… future kid” she corrected herself.

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Proximity (02)-Just My Neighbor

Prompt: Sebastian meets his newest neighbor and immediately finds her to be an interesting and genuine person. Before he knows it, he’s developing feelings for his much younger friend that he tries not to act on because of their age difference, only the proximity of their lives has other things in store for the couple.

Tags: @sebstanwassup, @starkxpotts, @kyleannsmut, @joshuad-n, @bucky-bear-barnes, @camely09, @metal-arm-red-star, @kitty11223, @one-of-the-boys, @dammnnbucky, @crystallimythium

Warnings: some language, a little angst, some fluff


Proximity (00)-PrologueProximity (01)-My Place at Six, Proximity (03)-Forty Percent, Proximity (04)-Writing My Goodbyes, Proximity (05)-If You Want, Proximity (06)-Oblivion, Proximity (07)-IDFCProximity (08)-Last Night, Proximity (09)-Boo at the Zoo pt.1, Proximity (10)-Boo at the Zoo Pt.2Proximity (11)-Girlfriend 


Sebastian decided to stay at the coffee shop for a few more minutes after (Y/N)’s phone call, but a few minutes turned into a few hours of intensive research and pouring over the script while occasionally smiling for fans selfies as they recognized him slumped over in the corner, angrily chewing on a pen cap. Just as he was about to lose all track of time, an older, retired woman who worked as a barista full-time made her way toward the table he sat at.

“I overheard your conversation, honey,” she said while placing a gentle, maternal hand on his shoulder. “It’s five-fifteen. You don’t want to keep your wife waiting.” Sebastian’s throat constricted as he looked at the array of empty cups scattered on the table in front of him. Frantically, he checked his phone, realizing that the woman was right.

“Thank you very much for telling me,” he began while folding his notebook closed, shoved his script inside, and jammed his pen into his back pocket, “but I wasn’t talking to my wife; I’m not married,” he awkwardly explained while showing her his ringless left hand.

“Oh, well then your girlfriend,” she tried again.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sebastian uneasily laughed. “She lives in my building below me; she’s just my neighbor” he tried to explain.

“Well people don’t talk to one another so domestically with someone who’s ‘just their neighbor,’” the woman smirked before helping him toss the cluttered cups in the trash. Once he finished, Sebastian hurried toward his building, only a couple blocks from the coffee shop, and made his way up to his floor.

Seb Stan: Just got back

He hurried to open the door to his apartment and left it unlocked as he kicked off his shoes and took his belongings into his bedroom. He tossed his notebook on the desk beside his bed and dropped his shoes in the closet before quickly tidying up the few misplaced objects in his living room and kitchen: a few newspapers he picked up, a couple of books left lying about, and the dirty cereal bowls that he intended to wash that morning.

         Cute Neighbor: Mind if I show up early?

Sebastian had just finished drying his hands from washing the dishes in the sink and a tiny smile formed in the corner of his mouth without him realizing. 

Seb Stan: Fine by me :)

         Cute Neighbor: Good, because I’m here

Just after he heard his phone go off, there was a knock at the door. He pulled it open and couldn’t help the soft smirk that rose to his lips as he shook his head at her. “You’re a dork,” he laughed.

“I’m the dork?” she laughed while entering his apartment for what had to be the hundredth time. “You’re asking me what one of the most self-explanatory sports on earth is,” she laughed. “Drive fast, turn left, don’t crash.”

“Thanks for the info, I guess you can leave now,” he teased while pressing himself against (Y/N), pretending to force her out of his apartment.

“Nooo,” she called out. “I walked all the way down the stairs for this, don’t make me leave.”

“Oh my, you took the stairs for me?” Sebastian huffed mockingly.

“The elevator was already on the first floor again,” she grumbled as Sebastian stepped aside and closed the door with both of them inside the apartment.

“Well,” he sighed as he walked into the kitchen, “I guess you can stay.” (Y/N) smirked as Sebastian leaned back against the kitchen counter beside his stove.

“Thanks for making that sacrifice,” she laughed while wandering toward his pantry and scouring for something to cook. “Why do you have a shit-ton of beans?”

“What do you mean ‘a shit-ton of beans?’” he asked while walking toward her. (Y/N) pulled out two massive cans of pinto chili beans and held them up to him, displaying her case. “That is not a shit-ton of beans,” he huffed. “Do you even know what a shit-ton looks like?”

“Well if you eat this many freaking beans, you’re sure to shit a ton,” she explained while setting the cans on the counter and started to rummage through his spices.

“Why do I hang out with you?” he laughed as he started to manually open the chili beans as (Y/N) gathered a huge variety of spices, some of which Sebastian hadn’t even opened yet.

“Who else would tease you about your bean collection?” she laughed while pulling ground turkey meat out of his freezer and beginning to defrost it in the microwave.

“Fucking weirdo,” he laughed while taking a step back and watching her.

“You’re the one with a bean collection, ya fucking weirdo,” she laughed, mimicking Morgan O’Mally’s voice from Good Will Hunting. “Okay, that probably made me weird,” she laughed at her attempt to draw reference to the movie.

“Just a bit,” he laughed in response. “Did you finish all of your homework?” he asked.

“Yes, Mom,” she grumbled at him, rolling her eyes the whole time. She hurried to cut up an onion and threw it and some garlic into the cauldron she had heating up o the stove. 

“Sorry I care about your education,” he muttered while smirking at her from across the kitchen.

“You’re forgiven,” (Y/N) laughed and looked over her shoulder toward Sebastian. Again, the smile of admiration and gentle nod of disbelief flooded her sight. Quickly, she turned her face back to the pot of chili, hoping she could play off the blush on her face as the heat coming from the stove.

“Can I help?” Sebastian asked as he made his way closer toward her. Gently his hand traced along her back as he passed her.

“You can brown the meat,” she offered, trying to hide her now red face from him. Glad to help her, he completed his task and then added the meat to the mixture of beans, onions, garlic, tomatoes, green chillies, and spinach. (Y/N) then added the spices as Sebastian handed them to her.

“Cumin? Tumeric? Chili Powder? Cholula? Do you really use all of this?”

“Is it sitting on the counter?” she asked back sassily.

“Did I ask for sass?” he teased, a smirk on his face as he handed her the glass bottle of cumin. (Y/N) finished adding the last bit of spices and grabbed a bag of corn chips from a cupboard as Sebastian starts to dish out their dinners. “I figured we could watch a thematic movie,” he said while settling onto the couch and grabbed the remote that (Y/N) found less than a week after them meeting.

Slowly, she lowered herself beside Sebastian on the couch, feeling his hip against hers as they leaned against one another’s shoulders. Instantly, her head dropped as she saw his choice of movie. “Really, Seb,” she grumbled. “Of all the racing movies in existence you chose this one?”

“What’s wrong with Talledega Nights?” Sebastian asked with a laugh.

“You could have picked one of the eight Fast and the Furious movies, Days of Thunder, I would have even taken freaking Cars over this,” she grumbled.

“I didn’t know you were so picky, (Y/N),” Sebastian smirked while nudging her with his shoulder. (Y/N) laughed as Sebastian put his arm around her shoulder and rested his dinner between his knees.

“I’m not picky,” she groaned while scooping chili with a chip and popping it in her mouth.

“My movie just isn’t good enough for you is it?” he asked while teasing her and scraping the chili from his bowl. “This is really good, (Y/N). Thank you very much,” he added.

“You’re just trying to flatter me so I’ll give in to your stupid movie,” she grumbled. “You can look at me with those big blue eyes all you want, Sebastian, but I’m not going to say this movie isn’t shitty.”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything with my eyes,” he said with a smirk, “but since you’re looking,” he said with a sultrily teasing tone. Suddenly, (Y/N)’s heart pounded in her chest as she realized their proximity to one another. His arm rested across her shoulders, his tight muscles and tender skin grazing the back of her neck as she folded neatly into the side of his body, like two pieces of clay moulding together. Her side was pressed against his and she could feel his obliques tighten with each laugh, and she was certain Sebastian could feel the wire of her bra poking into his ribs. Part of his thigh covered hers as she slumped into the curve of the couch cushions and their legs were twisted together and propped on the coffee table in front of them. Quickly, she pulled herself up onto the cushion and sat on her feet, trying to keep herself from touching him and invading all parts of his personal space. “Is everything okay?” Sebastian quickly asked as (y/N) readjusted her position on the couch.

“Uh, yeah,” she said softly. “I thought I was going to spill,” she tried to laugh through the tension she caused and chastised herself for not being more careful. This had started out as being friends and she had intended for it to not go any further. It didn’t make sense for them to be anything besides neighbors. After all, she was hardly twenty-one and he was almost thirty-five. It wasn’t as though she had an issue with age gaps when it came to love, but she figured it would be easier for her to just be friends with Sebastian. He was more than she could handle in more than one way. She didn’t want to hold him back from anything he hasn’t accomplished and she still had a few years left in her before settling down would become a serious thought and not a ‘maybe someday’ ideology. Quietly, she continued eating until her dinner was almost gone.

“Oh, um okay,” he tried to chuckle. “We, uh…we don’t have to watch this movie if you want to,” Sebastian tried to change the conversation as he wondered what had caused (Y/N) to start acting strangely. The night had been going well and he was excited to get to be spending time with her. He was fascinated with her dry humor and sassy personality and the continual banter kept him on his toes. He liked to listen to her talk even if it was to tease him, and wasn’t quite ready for her to leave him.

“No, it’s fine,” she said as she hurriedly scraped the remainder of food left in the bowl. “I actually forgot I have a group paper due Wednesday and I have to work on my half.”

“Wait, are you leaving?” Sebastian asked, his voice faltering as (Y/N) rose to clean her dish. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Seb,” she said softly. “I just forgot I have some work left.”

“(Y/N),” he said in a soft, almost begging tone.

“I promise,” (Y/N) told him, turning back around and flashing him the largest smile she could muster. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Hesitant to believe her, Sebastian agreed halfheartedly.

“Okay,” he managed to say loud enough for her to hear him. Upon leaving Sebastian’s apartment, (Y/N) hurried downstairs and locked herself in her bathroom. After filling the tub with steaming water, she lowered herself in, allowing the water to float along her skin and travel up to her collarbones. Slowly, small tears of frustration trailed down her cheeks, mixing with the beads of sweat formed from the steam. Falling for Sebastian was all too easy and she knew that immense pain would come from forcing herself to deny her heart that happiness, but she would take the pain of denial over the humiliation of rejection any day, and if she continued to pursue Sebastian Stan romantically, she was sure rejection would be all she received.

not to be that super emo stan but,,,, the monbebe fandom is probably the best fandom ive ever joined. the love is not just one sided and i think that it’s incredible. like yeah all artists love their fan bases but do they love them so much that they talk to them every chance they get? do they tell their fandom nearly every day that they hope they have a good day/night? do they tell their fandom that they love them almost every day? monsta x truly love us more than anything and sometimes i wonder if i even deserve their love. ive never seen an artist so passionate about their fan base. they trust us so much that wonho lays on the ground at the concerts and he lets us touch him. he trusts us not to hurt him and we don’t break his trust. monsta x are constantly praising us and giving us quality content such as songs and music videos, behind the scene things, and even vlives. they give us a vlive nearly every single day. they do all they can to talk to us and be one with us and i have never been more proud to love anyone in my life. i have never been more proud to be in a fandom. monbebes aren’t just a fandom. we are a family and a damn strong one at that. no matter what hate the antis throw at our mans, we’re there to protect them in a heartbeat. we stick together through thick and thin and don’t let the petty haters hurt us. we’re strong. i can proudly go out and say that i am a monbebe and i can say that it is easily the best decision i have ever made in my life. happy birthday, fam. i love you all. ❤️💖💕💕💞

anonymous asked:

For the drabbles (if theyre still open!) #18, Jungkook, and either Jungsh00k Au or Fuckboy!Jungkook 😍 Whichever one you think fits it the best. Also I have to say that your writing honestly makes me so damn happy okay oml ❤️❤️ Dont push yourself, and stay healthy!

hello thank you so much for asking! i hope you like it! it’s a continuation from my previous fuckboy!jungkook drabble, hope that’s okay!

18. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”

WORD COUNT: 1,515

part one 

Originally posted by b4ngt4nboys

Keep reading

Dealing with animal bones and spirits:

After my popular recent post about plant spirits, I decided that I should write a post about my favorite type of spirits to work with, animal spirits connected to their remains. I’m a vulture and a spirit worker and so I collect various animal bones and use them in my practice.  All of the pieces in my collection come from what I deem ethical sources, and none of them have been killed solely for the purpose of being in my collection.  I have a relationship (friendship) with each spirit and treat everyone with respect as I consider them family.  If you have any questions, ask away!

General:

As always, when dealing with remains and with the spirits attached to them, you must remain respectful.  Don’t break/crush bones unless there is no spirit attached, and always ask permission before using the bones in crafts, as part of rituals, as offerings, or anything else like it.  

Sensing Presence:

Figuring out if there is a spirit attached to a bone takes more than a second and is really important when working with bones., There is a varying scale of spirit attached to different bones.  There are only a few bones that will have a significant amount of spirit attached, the skull being the main one.  The spinal chord will have a larger amount of spirit attached than phalanges and metacarpals will have.

Contact:

Contacting the spirit could take a while.  If the bones are that of a predator, they will generally be more defensive and more aggressive when they do make contact.  Always be respectful with their remains, and leave offerings to them as well.  These offerings can be the last little bit of tea that you don’t want to drink, it can be spending time with them, letting them sit by a charged crystal or a lot of other things.  Communication comes with time, as does any kind of relationship.  

Spirit Altars:

I have quite a few altars, one being to my spirit family.  On this altar, I leave offerings for my spirits, provide them with a constant supply moon water, store the bones and other things.  I have a bottle of bone powder from bone shards I have collected over the years, a necromancy powder I have and other such powders as well.  This altar is one way that I maintain a sense of respect for the spirits as well as their remains.  They aren’t necessary, but I find it a good affirmation for them.

What now?:

As with any other spirit, your main goal is to create a relationship with them.  Learn their name, and if you want, find a nickname that they like as well.  Leave them personal little offerings.  I have a hound that we’ll call J, and every time I work with him he absolutely adores my singing voice, so every once in a while I’ll ask him what song I should sing and he basically goes nuts.  Cuddle with them!  A lot of spirits love contact, and inviting them into your cuddle puddle (in the form of a pillow or a stuffed animal) is a great way to give them some of the attention that they need.

After a while of friendship, you can start asking for their help in many different areas.  For example with J being a hound, one thing that he’s good at is protection, wandering around my property keeping out most negative energies and spirits with mal intent.  There is an unlimited amount of favors spirits can do for you, but keep in mind that there is always a price.  Be it in the form of offerings beforehand, payment after, or some compromise between the two.  There is rarely a time where a spirit will do something for you without expecting something in return.  

Before use in rituals/spells:

Always ask the spirit if they would mine, and spell out the specific purpose.  An example of that would be using a bone as a small offering towards a specific deity.  If the spirit gives you permission, then proceed with respect and caution.  If the spirit doesn’t give you permission, don’t   go back on your word.  Keep your promises and they will generally be nice to you.  Don’t use the bones for more than you said you would unless you ask for specific permission again.

Offerings:

  • a charged crystal
  • tea
  • a cleaning
  • a staining
  • singing to them
  • taking them on a walk
  • dusting off the altar
  • setting them in the rain
  • moon water

Recap:

Be respectful, be courteous and always ask permission before you do almost anything.  And if you have any questions, you can ask me! (Also my vulture culture blog is @herebethebones )

anonymous asked:

Leela, oh man I can't wait to read your response to this video, tbh while I was watching it, half of my brain was just thinking about how much I was looking forward to your reaction

this is so unbelievably sweet and i can’t believe that you look forward to hearing my thoughts so much!! i’m going to be completely dead honest with yall (when am i not tbh) … i was not one of the people who was super jazzed about the idea of a pastel edits video. i totally sided with dan in his past live show responses about the idea–that there’s no cohesive culture or stereotypical tropes around “pastel” that they could try to imitate, and also (though he didn’t say this) that it’s basically just a product of a sort of sexualized trope that tumblr seemed to make up out of thin air. i think i generally felt that at worst it would make them really uncomfortable, and at best it would just be a video of them putting on random pastel clothes and maybe wigs and making fun of the whole concept and that’s about it. so like. god damn, i was not prepared for how good this was nor the boundaries that it pushed, especially coupled with the tweet from dan preceding it. and even though there was still a lot of mockery and grumbling about it, especially from dan, i was not prepared for how much they would genuinely enjoy it and have fun with it. i think that’s just a testament to them and their connection/chemistry more than anything–it seems like there are very few scenarios and situations they get into together that they don’t end up completely loving and enjoying almost purely bc of how much they’re able to make each other laugh and bring each other joy. but also, in this case, bc they were so visibly enjoying the opportunity to touch and flirt and see each other wear a totally different look to their norm (and incidentally those exact things were what made punk edits irl such an incredible video too).

that being said, it wasn’t all just flirting and softness. there was some unexpected depth to this, or at least, a lot of room for me to speculate about what it might mean for them to be making a video like this, speculate about how they might feel about it, etc. and in order to do that i’m going to discuss a whole bunch of things that happened in the vid in three general categories: soft things, sarcastic things, and sexual things lol. one overarching observation to begin though: um. not to objectify but. phil is lookin damn fine. idk if his running/gyming are already having an impact but he somehow looked really well built in that t-shirt in a way i don’t think i’m used to seeing, so. ok. just had to get that out of the way.

1. soft things:

obvi, deeper analysis aside, there was a lot of genuinely sweet, wholesome, lovely shit happenin’ in this vid and it all had me close to tears. first of all. the brief and gut-wrenching return of the music from the blindfolded cat game vid and the dan and phil do poppen kookin vid, aka the softest videos known to mankind. thx phil. also interesting bc that means he def associates that music with softness and maybe he thinks about those videos as being soft and adorable and pure in the same way that we do. then,,,, phil going so high pitched when he talks about dans curls and saying that he’s ‘obsessed’ and dan getting all flustered when phil touches his hair and forgetting how to talk lol. “am i consenting you?” same. just generally, this was a video full of phil being rly into dans neck tattoo and dans curls and,,,, dan. just generally lmao. ik they lie all the time about preparing for videos and make it sound like phil does all the preparation even when dan has a hand in it, but in this case i really want to believe that phil actually went out (or online) shopping for dan and picked out that sweater and dungarees mostly bc he thought it’d be rly cute to see dan wearing them, which is why he also seemed to expend less effort on shopping for his own outfits. i loved his emphatically positive comments about the various elements of the get-up like when he was putting the tattoo on dan’s neck and told him that it would look amazing in such an earnest completely non-sarcastic way!!!! and a bit earlier when dan decided to also compliment phil out of nowhere, ALSO in such a genuine and emphatic and non-sarcastic way, regarding his “accurate cutting out” skills. the way that dan was instinctively so happy with phil’s arm tattoo and his first thought was to tell phil it matches his eyes before he naturally diluted it by slipping into a sarcastic tone of voice. and the way that he was so supportive of phil’s blue wig in a way that went beyond “u look good,” but rather was more along the lines of “u look good AND this fits with this deeper thing about you that i love so much and that shows how deeply i know you, namely the way that you want to make an impact when u enter a room” ahhhhhh goodness i think they both really found each other to be very pretty in these outfits, and doing a video like this is is as much a fun and exciting thing for them to experience as it is for us to watch.

one thing that really stood out to me was the moment when dan talks about feeling like he wants to do some ‘soft’ things after assuming this new persona and then he lists some examples of what those might be: writing a poem, cloud gazing, buying some sorbet, and then phil pitches in with surfing off the edge of a waterfall … which like,,, what? lmao. but the reason this moment hit me so hard is because it was the first point in watching the video that i realized that they were completely avoiding associating the concept of “pastel” with some more generalized concept of “femininity” and rather, just associating it with softness and aesthetic choices, both of which they proceeded to discuss throughout the video with absolutely no gender typecasting attached. so in this exchange, it really struck me that even when they were listing ‘soft activities’ they didn’t say anything about wanting to do activities that are stereotypically girly, nor did they shy away from talking about embracing things that could be perceived in that way like writing poetry or hugging unicorns or eating sorbet or whatever else. really the only mention of gender at all during the video was when phil talks about finding male underwear (on dan’s laptop btw, i just need to point that out) and even then they were just bemused at the idea that men would *want* to embrace the pastel but feel the need to hide it under their jeans lol. idk,, i’ve written about this before at great length (especially last year when dan bought the rhinestoned gatorland hat) but it’s just so lovely to see both of them progress to this point of total comfort with how they might be perceived and give absolutely no mind at all to any nasty stereotypes that people might launch at them for being two men in an extremely close relationship deciding to dress up in pink and touch each other and hold rainbow umbrellas and light up unicorns. like. the very THOUGHT of that happening a few years ago would be totally absurd especially with dan’s own seemingly internalized homophobia and both of their enforcement of gender binaries/heteronormativity. and yet, it’s a point that i will never stop making bc i can’t adequately express how happy it makes me: dan and phil have grown so much. we’ve watched them blossom into these self-assured people who are confident not only in themselves but in their relationship with each other, who are proud not only of themselves but of their relationship with each other, and who no longer feel such an innate need to hide.

2. sexual things:

in a similar vein, there was so much surprisingly overt sexual flirting and innuendo in this video that absolutely was not demanded by the situation at all. with last years halloween baking, one could make the argument that it’d be hard to mess about with melted chocolate and poke sticks into balls without making a lot of innuendos and giggling at them. but,,, there’s nothing in any way sexual about phil clipping on dan’s overalls for him….like. it was a completely innocent thing for phil to do. but dan decided to say “strapping me up on camera there’s a certain audience for this sort of video” while it was happening, as though *inviting* us to interpret this sexually, putting the thought into our heads on his own terms. the same applies to the tweet teasing the video. first of all he didn’t need to tweet at all but he did, to promo a video that wasn’t even on his own channel i want to point out. and if he wanted to promo it he could’ve just done a generic “just got done filming with phil” tweet or even a “wow just got done filming with phil and now we’re so messy” tweet but instead of leaving it there he took it to an explicitly sexual place of his own accord and, again, on his own terms. i can’t think of an explanation for this besides the notion that dan wants us to get used to thinking about them in sexual contexts, and he’s trying to push back a little on the strictly platonic and g-rated image they’ve built for themselves and their interactions. of course one could easily point out as a counter-argument that this isn’t the absolute first time they’ve made sexual comments about themselves. a good fairly recent example, but still pre-baking universe, was when they did the 3 legged ddr video on dapg and dan kept making comments about bondage and whatnot. but that still seems so different to me than many of the examples from this video for two reasons: first because, as mentioned before, the situation in the 3 legged ddr vid, in which they were literally taping themselves together, kind of demands innuendo in a more immediate way than like, strapping on overalls does. and, second, because the comments in that vid still seemed a tad uncomfortable, somewhat like dan envisioning the way that people would be screaming about these moments and sexualizing them anyway, and feeling forced to acknowledge the sexual overtones of the situation himself to get out in front of it. in this video, the difference is that dan truly and happily *went out of his way* to make these sexual and flirty comments, about the overalls, about tattooing phil’s penis or his ass, about phil biting him if he (dan) mentions cotton candy. and on and on. like,,,,, totally unnecessary, totally comments that dan made of his own volition bc he *wanted* to and *chose* to and that is so so important to me.

at the same time, phil, while less vocal in his flirting, broke the g-rated boundaries in his own ways, especially, and probs most memorably, by unzipping his trousers plainly in view of the camera and then plainly in view of dan. i was really shocked to see that and felt like i’d been totally transported back to 2008 lol. they’re both making these conscious decisions to unravel certain parts of this veneer they’ve had in place for so long and it’s something so exciting and monumental to me.

3. sarcastic comments:

as exciting as all of the above is, there hasn’t been a total transformation yet. there was still some visible discomfort with aspects of what they were doing, mostly on dan’s part, but a bit on phil’s as well, and to me it came out mostly in the form of super sarcastic comments sprinkled throughout the video. at 2:38 when dan says “it’s just like so pastel,” in the most mocking voice of all time. pretty much the whole time they are looking thru the example pics and trying not to make fun of the edits, but then basically openly shitting on the whole concept of aesthetic moodboards and whatnot. the “this is so stupid” comment that dan makes around that time. at 5:38 phil saying, “wow dan you look so soft.” this one is less clear but to me it definitely sounded sarcastic and mocky. at 6:59 the voice/face dan uses when he says “these soft knees. woowwwww.” at 9:07 when dan asks, “what is my life? why do i keep agreeing to these stupid videos? … do you deserve this?” and then at the end, phil saying “the things we do for you guys” and promoting dan’s channel, with dan quickly reassuring people his content is “not like this.” there are just these threads of self-consciousness and self-awareness that i don’t think they were fully able to shake, and an awareness specifically that this video seems/feels a lot like pandering, or at least specifically responding to something that was so vehemently requested by the audience and that they’re pretty clearly doing it just to “give the people what they want” (even though of course they ended up appearing to love it and have so much fun with it). this whole aspect of video-making for an audience is always going to be a tricky one for them, because they both pride themselves on originality and creativity and a so-called quality threshold and all that other bullshit, so choosing to make a video that is such a fervent fan request and that doesn’t involve the same creative energy that they’d normally want probably makes them somewhat uncomfortable (esp if that video is one where they have to literally dress up as a popular fan fantasy and touch each other a lot). that’s why it was so particularly interesting to me to hear phil say “well we’re on my channel there’s no integrity here,” because from *our* perspective it’s true that phil seems to care less about the quality threshold that dan talks about, and that he’s happy to put up fluff content (with dan) quite frequently whether it be a phil is not on fire or a day in the life or a baking vid or whatever else. phil’s clearly speaking in amusement and jest when he says his channel has no integrity but undelrying the humor is a clear separation they seem to see between the purpose of their channels and i was surprised to hear it reiterated so directly. this coupled with what we know about phil being more business-minded, having an on-camera presence that seems to be more different from his real self than dan’s, censoring himself, keeping his thoughts somewhat reserved, ,,, there are lots of connections here that i’m seeing but not finding the best words for in this moment. i think what i mean is that phil views his channel as entertainment in the most literal and fundamental way: the purpose is to please the audience, make them feel good and happy, and give them what they want to see. that process doesn’t necessarily require him to put a lot of himself out there. on the flip side dan sees his channel and his content as true artistic endeavors that are representative of who he is, his value as a creator and maybe even as a person since he connects so much of his self-assigned meaning of life to his career. all of this is shit we knew, but. i’ve never heard phil comment so glibly and cavalierly about that divide. the comment felt super important to me.

overall: there’s such a strongly purposive quality to everything dan and phil choose to do. even amongst all of the sensory onslaught of this video, the scenes of dan stroking phil’s arm and phil cooing over dan’s curls and both of them referencing sex and sexual situations so much, it’s this mindfulness, the transparently premeditated nature of it all, that hit me hardest and that i cannot stop thinking about. they’ve made so much progress in such a relatively short space, with their comfort levels and their confidence and their ability to disregard audience perceptions or, if they do regard it, to at least not let it dictate their behavior so damn much. ultimately with a video like this, when so much seems to have shifted, my mind always goes back to the frame-by-frame way in which videos are edited and the consequently frame-by-frame way that dnp watched this video back, looked at every joke they made, every touch they shared, and decided to leave things in as they were. decided to sit and maybe draft a tweet together that very consciously broke down their carefully constructed walls. it all is very deliberate and that matters. this video could definitely in my opinion be remembered as a turning point much like halloween baking if it is followed by more behavior that pushes boundaries, more conversation about defying gender roles and stereotypes, more sexual humor, etc. it was so exciting to watch and i’m so proud of them on so many levels.

(dan and phil pastel edits irl

Alex’s Trauma (2x19)

She doesn’t speak for an entire week.

An entire week where she refuses to open her mouth, even to eat, to drink.

She accepts the IV fluids, nutrients, without complaint, without comment.

Without comment because she won’t open her mouth.

Won’t open her mouth because if she does, the water will rush in.

If she does, her lungs won’t just burn. They’ll burn while they drown.

If she does, she will never stop screaming.

If she does, she will never see her sister again.

At least her death will be protecting her. She’d told her in no uncertain terms to negotiate. That Supergirl – that Kara – is bigger than her. So at least her death will protect her.

Maybe Eliza will take comfort in that.

Maybe Eliza will finally be proud of her.

But she wants to live even more than she needs her mother’s approval, so she doesn’t open her mouth.

If she does, the screaming won’t be hers.

It’ll be Kara’s, it’ll be Maggie’s.

James has already lost his father.

Winn had only just started to have a family.

J'onn’s already lost too many daughters.

J'onn can’t lose her too.

Won’t.

So she doesn’t open her mouth.

Even though he’s standing over her, even though he’s keeping watch over her. Over her sister. Over her girlfriend. Over his sons.

She wonders who’s keeping watch over him.

But she doesn’t open her mouth.

Not when Vasquez drops in to visit, to force Maggie to shower, to eat something.

Not when Lena comes to visit, to force Kara to do the same.

Not even when M'gann rushes in, windswept and desperate, like she just launched herself through the vacuum of space to get to her, to get to J'onn.

Not when M’gann forces James and Winn to help each other eat. Shower. When she nearly has to wrestle J'onn to make him do the same.

Alex just watches.

Unblinkingly.

Never with her eyes closed.

Never with her eyes closed, until the drugs they pump into her force her to, because it’s a relief, really, to see people, other people, people who love her, instead of her own reflection in that damned cage.

Instead of her own panicked eyes, floating hair, her own drowning body.

She watches, but she doesn’t speak.

And they don’t ask her to.

Kara tells her stories. Stories she used to tell her when they were kids – when they were kids and Rick had a crush on her and all she could think about was how he meant Eliza would be proud, even though she’d rather spend time with Vicky Donahue – about Krypton and about laughter and about alien science.

Winn sets up a video game console in the room and he has James and M'gann play Mario Kart with him. They all look at her more than they look at the screen, and Winn thinks he sees her almost crack a smile once.

“You’re my sister, Alex. Both of ours,” he tells her in the silence after, James taking her other hand and nodding. “We’re never gonna lose each other, understand?”

She understands that he doesn’t want to ever lose each other.

She also understands that there’s nothing he or any of them can do to prevent it.

She blinks at him, and that’s as much of a response as she’s been giving anyone, so he squeezes her hand and accepts it.

James talks to her about CatCo, about being Guardian. About how much he admires her for being a superhero without a suit.

“This doesn’t change that, you know, Alex. You’re not weak and you haven’t failed. If it had happened to any of us, you’d tell us the same. I know it’s easier said than believed, but it’s true.”

M'gann tells her stories of Mars, of red skies and fighting white supremacy, of old loves and new hopes.

J'onn says nothing, except that he couldn’t be prouder to have her as a daughter. He lets the rest of their time together lay in silence.

Neither of them are much for words.

But Maggie says even less than J'onn. Almost as little as Alex.

She never leaves. It’s James who calls her captain and arranges paid time off for her. It’s M'gann who forces her to shower when Vasquez can’t do anything more, but like Kara, Maggie refuses to go anywhere other than the bathroom right off the med bay. It’s M'gann, too, who forces her to eat, but she won’t do it anywhere but Alex’s bedside.

She just stares at Alex.

Stares at her eyes. At her chest, like she’s making sure it’s still rising and falling with her breath.

With life.

And that’s exactly what she’s doing, what she’s assuring herself of.

None of them try to get Alex to talk, but they all let her know she’s loved.

Cared for.

Watched over.

Safe. Safe. Safe.

The first nightmare that breaks through the sedative has her talking again.

Or screaming, more like.

For Supergirl. Whose life is worth more than hers. Whose life is so valuable that it doesn’t matter what happens to hers.

Supergirl is too important.

Her screams make Kara hold her, whisper to her, as she wakes up.

Her screams make Maggie stand, make Maggie, for the first time since they found her, string together more than a few coherent words.

“You matter too, Alex. You’re important. Yes, your sister is important, Danvers, your sister is everything because she’s your sister, but did you ever stop to think that maybe there is no Supergirl without Alex Danvers? Did you really think you’re the only one willing to die for the people in this room? Did you really think the people who love you could ever bear to live without you? Did you really think Kara could live without you? That I could live without you?”

Alex blinks and Maggie’s low voice cracks and Kara blinks out tears and Winn’s eyes widen and James holds his arm because he knows Winn scares at raised voices, even if they’re raised in beautiful words, and J'onn stares at his daughter and M'gann stares at hers, and nobody, nobody, nobody breathes.

And then Alex says her first words since her gasping, desperate greetings when they’d found her.

Her voice is chapped and her voice is gravel, but her voice is alive, alive, alive.

“The people who love me?”

Maggie cracks a small, wet grin through her tearstained face.

“More than I’ve ever loved anyone, Alex Danvers. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I’m sorry I didn’t let you tell me, I’m sorry I almost waited too long for this first, I – “

But Alex is reaching for her and Alex is kissing her, kissing her, kissing her, and M'gann is escorting everyone else out of the room because they need this moment, they need forever’s worth of first moments like this.

"So life is too short, and we should tell the girls we love that we love them, huh?” she asks when they break for breath, breath that Maggie easily breathes into Alex’s lungs, safe, safe, safe. Loved.

“Something like that, Danvers,” Maggie smiles against her lips, and Alex lets herself cry, lets herself break, lets herself be… loved.

“I love you back, Maggie. I love you back, I love you back, I love you back.”

Neither of them say aside from variations of those three words for hours – hours while they kiss, while they touch, while they cry and while they breathe, breathe, breathe – they say nothing but I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

“Magnus I am so sorry. For everything you had to go through.” Alec was desperately searching for ideas on how to help Magnus. How to help the man he loves who is sitting in front of him looking like any loud noise could make him break.

“That agony rune…made me relieve memories I’ve spent centuries trying to forget.” said Magnus, his voice heavily coated in grief. Alec could hear the build up of tears behind his words.

He sat down next to Magnus. His movements were tentative and he wanted so bad to reach out and pull the man into his arms, but he didn’t know if the gesture would be welcome.

“Magnus tell me how to fix this.” Alec pleaded his lover. “Just tell me what to do. Please.”

Magnus looked at him slightly shaking his head as if to say there’s nothing you can do. But he looked in the younger man’s eyes and all he could see was honesty. He could see Alec was desperate to help. He just had no idea how he could.

Alec slid off the couch and kneeled in front of Magnus. “Can I-” he gestured towards him “Can I touch you?” he asked hesitantly and Magnus gave a slight nod.

“Please, Magnus.” he said, bringing their foreheads together “Please, tell me what you need.” Alec’s words chocked in his throat as tears threatened to fall.  

The raven haired boy brought each palm on either side of Magnus’ neck and leaned back to look the man in the eye “Do you want me to leave?” he asked, praying to Lilith he hadn’t screwed things up so thoroughly.

Magnus opened his mouth to protest, but Alec continued “Because I understand if you do. I mean I caused you so much suffering I can’t imagine how me being here could offer you any comfort. Unless you need help like…cleaning the place or I c-could make you tea or-” Magnus placed a finger on Alec’s lips to silence the young boy’s rambling.

Magnus looked at the man whose face was now streaked with tears. He was so afraid Magnus wouldn’t want anything to do with him now.

Alec closed his eyes as more tears fell down his long lashes. He let his hands drop to rest on Magnus’ thighs. “Please don’t hate me.” he whispered, his hands shaking against the man’s legs.

“I could never hate you, my dear Alexander.” said Magnus in a raspy voice, his own tears threatening to fall.

Alec opened his eyes to see Magnus and his carefully built walls crumbling as tears started to cascade down his face and his expression morphed into one of utter pain and despair.

Alec moved closer and suddenly Magnus was wrapped in the warmth of his lover’s arms. The feeling of safety finally allowing him to let go and feel the pain. To feel the grief from the resurfaced memories. To feel the hopelessness when Alec didn’t believe him. To feel and let go and after a very long time alone, lean on somebody and let them take some of the burden.

Magnus relaxed into Alec and let his angle take his weight. They stayed like that for a while. After some time Alec’s knees began to hurt, but the boy was prepared to stay like that forever if it meant Magnus would never feel that kind of pain again.

Magnus’ body started to become heavier as he slowly slipped in and out of unconsciousness. Alec slowly stood up and gathered the warlock in his arms and carried him to the bedroom where he gently laid him on the bed. He removed Magnus’ shoes and jacket and then sat down on the bed next to his love.

“Do you need me to help you get undressed?” he asked, but Magnus snapped his fingers lazily and he was left in his boxers. And as brief as that moment of coherency was, Magnus was again falling asleep.
Alec tentatively leaned forward and lightly tapped the man’s cheek. Magnus opened his eyes lethargically.

“Do you-” Alec’s voice was shaking as he spoke “Do you want me to leave?” he asked as a new tear fell. His chin was trembling as he tried to keep rest of the tears at bay, waiting for Magnus’ rejection.

Magnus, for the first time in 24 hours smiled softly through his own tears as he lifted one hand up to Alec’s cheek. “I would very much love it if you stayed, Alexander.” he spoke gently.

Alec sighed in relief and rested his head on Magnus’ chest for a second.
He then stood up and undressed himself down to his boxers. He climbed into bed and pulled Magnus into him. They wrapped their hands around each other and held on tightly, neither ever wanting to let go.

Alec pressed his face into Magnus’ soft hair and whispered “I love you. So much. I could not imagine my life without you. I swear I will do everything in my power to protect you and if the clave has a problem with you after this whole Valentine thing they can go to hell.”

“Alexander-” came Magnus’ short protest

“No. I mean it. I will take you as far away as possible from them if need be. I will never let anything happen to you again.” he said, kissing the warlock’s head.
He pulled back to look Magnus in the eyes to see the man looking at him with fondness. “I almost lost you, Magnus.” Alec’s touch on Magnus’ cheek was so gentle it brought new tears to his eyes.

Alec pushed the hair out of his eyes to reveal shining cat eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “You listen to me, Magnus Bane. I love you. I love you more than anyone else on this planet and your safety will always be my first priority.”

He moved forward and placed a soft kiss on Magnus’ forehead “Aku Cinta Kamu” he whispered softly as Magnus let out a soft sob in surprise.

He raised his head and gently placed his mouth on Alec’s. The kiss was feather-light, but conveyed all the love between the two.

“I love you too, Alexander.” said Magnus, his voice filled with affection.

He snuggled back under Alec’s chin and finally let sleep overtake him. Alec buried his face in Magnus’ black head of hair and breath in his scent. He soon followed Magnus to the world of sleep, knowing the love of his life was safely in his arms.


I am by no means a writer, but I had a lot of feelings left over from the episode and well… here you go.

4

((Okay, So I’m doing a MC that has really bad vision, and so they take her to the eye doctor and get her her first pair of glasses))

Yoosung

  • MC was always squinting, and Yoosung was somewhat concerned
  • She was always asking him what signs said, and he was rather worried when she said that the world was quite blurry
  • After a lot of convincing, Yoosung managed to get MC to go to the ophthalmologist
  • “I don’t know why you didn’t come in sooner miss MC. You are very nearsighted”
  • They asked her to go and pick out some frames.
  • She was really worried because she couldn’t see any of the frames without them already being on her face and two inches from a mirror
  • “Yoosung…can you pick out some glasses for me?”
  • Yoosung brought over several frames, and MC put them on one by one and Yoosung either said keep or never mind
  • Eventually, he found the perfect pair. It made her beautiful eyes stand out and he loved the color on her. They were turquoise frames with purple arms and the metal on the frames made her bright eyes that much brighter
  • About a week later, the glasses came in and MC went with Yoosung to the eye doctor’s clinic together
  • She put them on, and for the first time, she could clearly see Yoosung and his beautiful purple eyes and adorable smile. He had the most wonderful hair, and MC smiled brightly
  • The world was no longer a blur, and she ran over to the mirror to see what she looked like
  • The glasses were very thin, yet cute, and they really brought out her eyes and framed her face
  • “Yoosung! I can see again!”

Zen

  • MC was trying to help Zen rehearse for his upcoming play
  • But she kept messing up the lines, and holding the paper out an arms length away
  • And she was still unable to see the stupid small print
  • So Zen, who was worried, told her to go to the eye doctor. 
  • Apparently she was far sighted, and the ophthalmologist wasn’t sure how she was able to text at all
  • Apparently she had a text to voice program
  • MC went to go pick glasses, and after looking for a moment, she chose some rectangular black frames. Just the right amount of cute and attractiveness.
  • A week later, she went in and the frames were all ready
  • She put them on and went home to surprise Zen (Don’t worry she took public transportation)
  • When he got home he was stunned
  • She was gorgeous, not that she wasn’t before, but something about the glasses just made her that much more attractive
  • “Wow, Zen! You’re so …pretty! I wanna play with your hair!”

Jaehee

  • MC kept running into the edge of tables and things, and Jaehee became very concerned
  • So she dragged MC to the eye doctor 
  • MC started crying, and admitted that she didn’t want glasses because she was afraid of people making fun of her
  • “People will not make fun of you. I will make sure of that”
  • They ended up going in together, because MC was scared to go alone
  • When MC was told to choose her frames, she freaked out because there were so many options
  • They eventually settled on a pair of frames that looked suspiciously like the faux glasses that Jaehee wore
  • Jaehee made sure to wear her glasses when they went to go get them
  • “OMG you two are twins! That’s so cute!” The eye care assistant said as they gave MC her glasses
  • MC put them on and Jaehee took a selfie of the two of them just to prove to MC that they were adorable and they deserved the world
  • “Wow…we do look like twins Jaehee!”

Jumin

  • When MC couldn’t distinguish between Elizabeth 3rd and a pillow, Jumin knew that MC needed glasses
  • He actually brought the ophthalmologist to MC
  • She actually fainted when she saw Doc Lee
  • So he brought in another ophthalmologist in to see her
  • This one was much less scary and MC was more willing to work with them. 
  • She ended up needing pretty thick glasses, and she started to cry. 
  • Jumin soothes her telling her that she will look beautiful with glasses, and if she didn’t want them, she could get contacts.
  • She ended up getting brown oval frames, and they looked adorable on her
  • Jumin showered her with praise and told her how beautiful she looked
  • Now he’s starting an aesthetic glasses project for cats
  • Run Jaehee run
  • As soon as they got home to the penthouse, MC ran to the window and gazed out at the beautiful scenery
  • “Jumin! It’s so beautiful! Come look!”

Saeyoung

  • MC was always on the computer, and she seemed to be having a harder time seeing the screen than normal
  • Saeyoung tried to lend MC a pair of his glasses, but that didn’t help either. 
  • Saeyoung knew that she needed glasses though
  • So they went to the eye doctor to get her glasses
  • Apparently, she needs glasses badly, because she was very nearsighted
  • So the glasses were going to be rather thick
  • So she decided to get awesome frames like Seven’s
  • They were a pastel pink with what looked to be a brown print inside of the plastic. They were rather large and round, but MC loved them
  • Both of them now had cute glasses and neither could see anything without them
  • “Oh look, I can see more than a tomato now!”

V

  • V…um…how do I put this…he’s blind too
  • So he couldn’t tell that MC was losing her sight
  • Until one day Jumin brought her home after Driver Kim almost hit her because she couldn’t see the car clearly
  • They went to the eye doctors, and V heavily reconsidered the eye surgery 
  • He ended up calling Jumin to ask him to set him up with the ophthalmologist while MC got her eyes checked
  • She wasn’t quite as blind as V, but pretty damn close
  • She ended up getting harry-potter-like glasses
  • They looked really cute on her, like really good. 
  • A week later, V had an appointment for surgery on his eyes, and MC got her new glasses
  • “V I can see again! The sky is so pretty, wouldn’t you agree?”

Saeran

  • Saeran could tell right away that she needed glasses
  • She squinted at everything and it made her look like she was angry at the world
  • So he dragged her to the eye doctor
  • She really didn’t want glasses for some reason
  • “Why do you not want glasses.. You obviously need them.”
  • “Because I’m going to be teased again”
  • Apparently, MC used to wear glasses, but stopped when people started calling her names
  • Saeran told her that if she wanted she could get contacts like him and if anyone teased her they were going to get decked
  • He led her in, and he saw the cutest pair of glasses. 
  • They were black on the arms, and had a wire frame around the rims. 
  • He had her try them on and she just looked so cute
  • She got them a week later and she just looked adorable in them, even though she didn’t think so
  • He decided to convince her by bringing her on the roof to watch the sun set
  • “Wow. it’s so vibrant and colorful. Thank you Saeran. Maybe glasses won’t be horrible after all”
Anon request: Yandere!BTS’s reaction to you having a stalker.

Full request:  Yandere BTS reaction to you having a stalker? I didn’t see a rules page when I looked for it, but some people don’t like writing stuff like that, which I get. Although I would be surprised if you were okay with writing BTS as yanderes, but not writing about third-party stalkers. Anyway, thank you for your time and your blog!
Man, you guys are going to make me cry with compliments like that. I love doing requests, and I feel even more motivated when I get messages like this! <3
Also, when it comes to requests, I’m pretty open to doing almost anything as long as it doesn’t involve them risking their careers, if that makes sense. If you make them out to be everyday people, yeah. Sure. Why not? Request away. But if you want them to do something at an idol event, think long and hard about what you request.

Jin:
He would stick to your side, not wanting to confront the person and possibly scare you away in the process. He wanted nothing more than to tell the stalker to find a new hobby, or at least a new target because you were his and only his, and no one else was going to have you while he was still breathing.

Originally posted by bambamisaboomyinmypants

Namjoon:
He wouldn’t hesitate to confront the stalker, especially while you were present. Acting tough and looking intimidating was his specialty. He also wanted you to know that he was the best protector around and that you wouldn’t find anyone better than him to keep you safe. He would keep you safe and happy.

Originally posted by rapnamu

Yoongi:
This boy would be all over you, his arm wrapped around your shoulder or waist whenever you two would hang out. Whenever he caught the intruder watching you, he would send them a smirk to let them know that you were taken and wouldn’t be alone any time soon. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch you.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Hoseok:
He would watch from a distance. He didn’t like someone else paying as much attention to you as he did because it was his job to watch you, to make sure nothing happened to you. If he saw the stalker treading too much into his territory, he would step in and let it be known that he was the only one allowed to have eyes for you.

Originally posted by notdeletednotused

Jimin:
He didn’t like acting tough around you. He wanted you to think that he was gentle, and he would never do anything to harm anyone, but when it came to someone else invading your life, he only wanted you safe. He loudly made it known that no one else was allowed around you.

Originally posted by amsimaria

Taehyung:
He didn’t want you to focus on the stalker, so he did everything in his power to keep your mind off of it. Though, when your back was turned, he didn’t hesitate to send silent threats to the intruder. You were Tae’s, and no one was allowed to mess with that or try and take you away from him.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Jungkook:
Anyone who tried to push him out of the picture wasn’t welcome anywhere near you. He wouldn’t hesitate to fight anyone who tried to intervene because he was the only one who wanted the best for you. No one else could treat you as well as he could, and protect you like he could. Only him.

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Manipulated

It’s been interesting leaning some details about the grand social experiment that is One Direction.  The manipulation of fans by Syco/Sony is real and has played a huge role in what we know as One Direction.  I think, often, we have played into Sony/Syco’s hand, but that only goes so far.  If the diabolically ingenious marketing strategy was solely responsible for 1D’s unprecedented success, they most certainly would have replicated that success (to some extent) by now.  What all the social media and exposure did was to provide a window into the lives of 5 boys.  They kept a pretty tight rein on what was displayed, but it was the boys, parts of them at least, we saw through that window.  I don’t buy into the idea that everything we see is a PR contrivance.  PR pushes certain stunts, narratives and obscures certain truths about celebrities.  Celebrities will try to keep some elements of privacy in tact (if they value their sanity.)  If someone has a lot of public exposure, however, the kind of person they are (in real life) will eventually become apparent.  (I think even most Justin Bieber fans are well aware he’s kind of a jerk on some level.)  As the Beatles (and 1D) sang, “Nothing you can know that isn’t known, Nothing you can see that isn’t shown, Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be, It’s easy.”

The lads have paid a price for all this exposure - the withering glare - millions of seemingly unblinking eyes.  The thing is, those unblinking eyes also “fell in love” with the boys and their reputation of being lovely, humble, kind people reinforces our observations.  Consequently, the fan base truly feels they know the lads on some level and there has been an almost familial bond formed.   In my corner of the fandom, people refer to the lads as their sons.  (I call them my nephews.)  We want to nurture and support “our boys” more than anything.  Steve Aoki has marveled at the One Direction fan “army” and it’s support for he and Louis (in spite of Louis’ miserable team.)  Louis has bent over backward expressing gratitude to the fans - all the lads praise the fandom effusively.  While the invasive entitlement of the fan base is a down side, the deep connection we have with the lads is an upside for them.  The ONLY reason this grand experiment worked this well, for this long is because of WHO the lads are.  

They are the ones performing on stage, who can enthrall an audience without the usual pop gimmicks.  They are the goofy, rowdy, irrepressible, thoroughly decent, charming and eminently likable guys.  They are the creative force behind the band.  We did buy into the experiment, but it couldn’t have been this successful, for this long if the lads weren’t who they are.

We have made Sony/Syco richer, to be sure, but we’ve also given the lads a huge amount of power.  (Which is a VERY rare commodity for artists in the music industry.)  Our connection with the lads - their connection with us has made them master of their own destinies - as One Direction and as solo artists.  (Louis will be free soon, don’t worry.)  Ultimately, the genius wasn’t in Sony/Syco’s marketing plan, but in WHO they were marketing.  In the long term, it’s “our boys” who will benefit most, certainly not Syco.  That diabolical, ingenious plan was conceived to make Sony (and a petty little man named Simon) richer and more powerful.  In the end, One Direction and its members will reap the rewards.  “At the End of the Day,” 1DHQ manipulated the fans and the lads, but ultimately, they manipulated themselves right out of a job.

(I do my best to refer to post Midnight Memories 1D as something other than boys.  I know, lads doesn’t always have the best connotation, but it’s very commonly used in Britain and they do refer to themselves that way.  In this post, when I use boys, I’m thinking of pre Midnight Memories 1D.  I think, since they’ve been to war and back, they’re not really boys anymore.)