i love their relationship so hard

It’s hard to explain being asexual to someone, because generally they won’t understand. If you say “sex is gross” they’ll say “but what about it is gross”. They’ll say “but you want to get married and have kids” and “but you want to date don’t you? you’re attracted to people?” 

And I am attracted to people. But my attraction is Different, and here’s how. 

To a lot of people, attraction is like a craving. A sudden pull in the gut, your groin going Ding Ding Ding We have a winner! Let’s have sex with that one! But it’s not like that for me. I’ve never felt that, not once. But I feel attraction. My attraction is “wow, they’re really cute” and “their personality is so nice” and “they make me laugh”. I still feel love (keep in mind that I’m talking about asexual, not aromantic), it’s just not tinged with the overwhelming desire to kiss and hump and have sex. When I’m in a relationship, or want to be in a relationship, it’s more “wow, I really like this person, they make me happy, I think we could do great things together and be wonderful”, and that’s normal, but there is generally an undercurrent with other people that’s also saying “and we could have sex together and I bet they’re gorgeous”. Now, it’s hard for me to explain this because I don’t feel that. I don’t know what goes through the head of someone who experiences sexual attraction, but it’s something like that. 

When a non-ace person looks at chocolate, they get a craving. When I look at chocolate, it’s just chocolate. I might choose to eat it (I’m pretty sex-repulsed, so probably not) or I might not, but I don’t need it, it’s not important to me, the forefront (or back) of my mind isn’t “Oh my god I need that chocolate I want that chocolate”. And non-ace people don’t feel sexual attraction all the time, I understand that; but I don’t feel it ever and that’s the difference. 

My ex-husband (some of you follow him) lost his mom unexpectedly last night. She was such a kind and loving woman. She was always so good to me and knowing she wouldn’t be in my life anymore after we separated was hard. I have missed her and now she’s gone so quickly. I’ve had such a heaviness today. I’m so glad that the girls continued to be able to see her and have a relationship with her. She loved them and always sent them little gifts even when they didn’t get to see her. (I guess I’m just putting this here because so much of his family is still angry with me and they probably feel like I don’t have a right to feel sad about her passing but I do. So *sigh* along with most everything else I express, it will go here.) I loved her so much and I’m so sad that she’s gone and the girls won’t have her in their lives any more. She was such a good person who loved her sons so unconditionally and somehow, no matter the shit I pulled, she loved me too. She will be missed.

I don’t know how the girls will react but I am sure there will be tears. I don’t know when we will tell them. I’m waiting for him to be in a place where we can tell them together. It has been so important to me to keep working together for them. It hasn’t been easy but it’s worth it for them.

Anyway, I guess I’m just sad. It’s hard. I am so removed and I feel so much like I have no right to even speak of her but she will be missed.

Love is Hard

I don’t know about anyone else, but the Netjeru have always been so accepting of lapses in physical devotion from me. The love I felt when I stepped back into shrine yesterday for the first time in a while is honestly almost overwhelming.

I think part of the reason I’ve avoided shrine is the anxiety and guilt I’ve felt, that I don’t deserve positivity or love and that I’m Wrong and Bad and should just give up and “accept” that I’m always going to be that way.

Anyone who has mental health issues or past experiences with abusive relationships might get what I mean. Sometimes I think the pagan community hypes up how hard and difficult “dark” and “strict” and whatnot entities can be.

And I don’t doubt they are for those people. But every once in a while… can we acknowledge love is hard? Happiness is hard when you’re so used to being shot down and treated wrong you’ve almost convinced yourself that you liked it that way? Unending acceptance is hard when you’ve braced yourself for rejection…

You’re being proven wrong and having this light shone on you and feeling this otherworldly hug and like… this pure stubbornness that your gods will never give up on you.

Idk. I’m lame I guess… haha.

one pro AND con of bpd is feeling emotions so intensely like it’s a con because when you’re feeling a bad emotion like anger or sadness or being anxious you REALLY fucking feel it and it’s all consuming but when you feel a better emotion like happiness or love you feel that so hard too and it just feels so good i have a love hate relationship with feeling that hard

anonymous asked:

You know seeing touka in ken’s dilating pupil makes me so happy at how far their relationship is now. I mean they made love to each other, they got married, they are gonna have a baby, and they both love each other so much. I know they haven’t stated it to each other but I mean hell, ken turned into a dragon just by thinking that he’ll never see touka again, while touka is risking her baby trying to get her husband back. Ahh sorry for the long message, that trailer got my touken feels so hard.

Don’t be sorry, Anon, I feel ya. ;) I know this anime teaser we got really hyped us up. Obviously the anime is not perfect, s2 was a huge let down and I know a lot of people don’t have many expectations with s3, but it is still pretty cool to be getting something. And so when it comes to Kaneki x Touka, a lot of us are hungry to see their :re story come to life. In the manga of course seeing their relationship blossom into what it is now is a beautiful thing, but it’ll be really nice if we get to actually see everything you listed so our feels can be intensified. Just like seeing Kaneki’s pupils dilate at the sight of Touka…what a moment between them! <3

…Hey guys umm things have been happening a lot lately…. I’ve been so focused on school and at the same time I’m try to keep my relationship with my friends it’s hard…I love everyone but at the same time I can’t be there for everyone….. I get some asks in my inbox saying “Are you still friends with [Example​: Haley] ?”

It’s makes me feel bad about myself I feel like a bad person….I love my followers and my friends… I’m afraid to lose anyone……. I’m really trying I swear….I love everyone dearly

anonymous asked:

I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer! I love someone and out so much emotional labor into this relationship but he can’t return any of it, he’s too depressed, I don’t know what to do, it hurts and hurts and hurts

it’s hard to give someone love when they don’t have it in them for themselves even. its hard to be a support system when you cant even support yourself. has he gotten help? for your relationship to work, he needs to work on himself. you can’t save him, you know? you can’t love him out of his depression. he has to do something about it, truly. 

ask-kinda-salty-aph-china  asked:

Okay so I have found out about aromanticism for about 2 days now and I feel like I fit here somewhere. But i just don’t know. I can remember growing up and feeling attraction, but now, it’s totally different. I love shipping people, and I yearn to be in a relationship, but at the same time, I also have a hard time understanding platonic and romantic love. How do I know whether or not I feel love? Sometimes I don’t even know if I love my parents. I’m just a huge mess right now and so confused

ok well first of all let’s clear up some misconceptions. aro people can definitely ship people and yearn to be in a relationship. aromanticism is specifically about attraction.

i think you gotta do some introspection. take your time with it too, you don’t gotta figure this out tomorrow and you only found out about it 2 days ago!

when you were growing up and feeling attraction, was it romantic or platonic? telling the difference between platonic and romantic love/attraction can be really hard. the first time i felt romantic attraction it took me like a month to figure it out and it was very confusing.

a lot of people say you’ll know when you feel romantic attraction. idk if that’s necessarily true for everyone, but it is a different feeling than platonic attraction. i’d try to describe it but tbh i can’t really remember anymore. so here are some posts other people have made: 1 2 3

also check out this link to learn more about various arospec identities to see if any of them resonate with you.

Hey guys….

I’m personally going through a rough time right now. As you all know (or some of you know) I’m really having a hard time forgiving my ex boyfriend and honestly trying to be content with myself.

I just want to remind you guys to love yourselves. You all owe it to yourself to be happy and not let anyone be in control of your happiness.

I know it’s hard losing ties with someone ever when they aren’t healthy for you. It could be a toxic relationship (like what I went through), toxic friendship, or anything because you love them so much or have a history with them. But sometimes you have to let people go if they don’t want to make any change or leave them along with your past, it’s part of growing.

Please don’t try any unhealthy coping mechanisms because all that mental hurt will turn physical. Just take time to remember who you are and know your worth. You are someone and the world is yours.

Don’t think whatever you’re going through will just go away over night. It’s a process, take one day at a time. Be grateful for the things you have, love your close ones, just keep fighting like our faves like BTS, EXO, Got7 do.

Just love yourselves and more will love will come your way.

anonymous asked:

I love Rose (that's rep for me and she's adorable and tries so hard) I love her interaction with Finn. But in the back of my head I was a little upset that it seems like they were using Rose as a way around not putting Finn and Rey in a romantic relationship. Like ohhhhhh they're just friends because see he can have this non-white girl here instead. Like don't do that. Give me representation but don't do it bc it makes white ppl uncomfortable for Rey to be w Finn.

I love Rose too, but i think that her dynamic with Finn could have been handled much better. It wasn’t, and so the kiss at the end was weird and rushed. I’m not too worried about Finnrey cause they still got that sweet reunion and the movie showed that they cared about each other despite being apart, but yes white people love to pair poc together to keep their white faves away from them. The prime example is all the r*ylos “shipping” finnrose and writing them as background characters in their r*ylo fics so that they they can say “see? i’m not racist!” even though they don’t give a fuck about rose and finn.

anonymous asked:

Do you really still believe in swan queen? Just curious is all. I see some people doing metas still and I really loved when shady did them. They kinda gave me hope and I truly believe there's so many signs pointing in that direction but now it's just hard to see any point in it. With the new LGBT relationship and Regina/Roni's new male love interest, it's like a new fresh wave of disappointment and hurt. Sorry to get all depressed on you, I was just curious about your thoughts on it.

I always do! The show is still so much about them and about Swan Mills Family.
Having Alice and Robin as a couple right now, doesn’t mean we can’t have more. There is always room for more!!! And tbh? The love interest I keep seeing rumors about? We actually don’t know much about it! As I said with friends, it could easily be Roni’s boyfriend as part of the curse, so as she has to keep the cover up as Roni, Regina might have to keep fake dating him. Or anything, really! Even if it is a love interest for Regina, doesn’t have to be true love. I can only see that with Emma. You can’t give one of your lead characters a love that we have seen for like … 10 episodes?

So, yeah… I still believe in Swan Queen, and I still believe in the narrative! They always and forever fit all the romantic tropes set by the show itself!

That being said, I am sorry you are feeling like that. Maybe you need to take a step back from the show if it’s hurtful for you right now? But know that my blog is always open to put light on all the signs the show has put out there for us, anyway! :)

Ps: I miss Shady, and her posts!!! :’) but the “dumb positivity” is still alive!!!

This is so hard for us emotionally abused. But it is okay to say no. It’s okay to set boundaries. You are not being selfish nor awful!

Besties!!!

“There was one time when we were children he transformed himself into a snake. And he knows that I love snakes. So I went to pick up the snake to admire it. And he transformed back into himself and he was like ‘ABLERGH IT’S ME!’ And he stabbed me. We were eight at the time.” -Thor, on his great relationship with his little brother

Why do you have to look so beautiful? You make it hard not to love you.
—  Poets Love Her

also i hate it when tv/films act like it would be so hard to make existing characters bi/pan, especially when their main excuse is “they’re in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex!! what do you want us to do, break them up and change their entire romantic storyline?!” as if it would be so hard for them to have a throwaway line talking about an ex who was the same gender

i once had a guy friend and i had only really seen him with women, and one day he was like “oh yeah my ex boyfriend loved that book” and suddenly i knew he was bisexual, like it could be that easy