i love the smell of wood

{ 𝙼𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 } 🍿😎

anonym fragte:
Imagine the squad at a campfire, being crazy and someone, maybe Porco, accidentally knocks smol Kai butt-first almost into the fire. Tol Bert grabs her and holds her tightly. He blushes and it’s kinda awkward but also sweet and everyone kind of freezes and looks worried for five seconds until smol Kai just goes ‘my butt flashed before my eyes!’

Kai got this imagine. I thought it was really sweet so here it is :3 I am not tagging any girls being on hiatus.

@find-our-neverland​​ as Rena
@snksin​​ as Stevie
@tsuyoimono​​​ as Kai
@horseboy-kirschtein​​ as Pen

Keep reading

hogwarts wlw aesthetics

gryffindor: forehead kisses, brushing her hair out of her face, boxes of chocolates, making each other laugh, blanket forts, seeing her in your jacket and feeling your heart flip, attack hugs, stupidly competitive “i obviously let you win, babe” moments, flying together, serenading her even if your voice is awful, embarassing amounts of pda, linked arms, doodling hearts on your homework, making a huge deal out of her birthday just to make her feel special, fond eye-rolls, tickle fights, sharing a blanket in front of the fire, hugs that last forever, getting on with her friends, catching yourself staring at her, grand gestures to try and impres her, playing footsie under the table, sweaty palms when you hold hands

slytherin: matching tattoos, skipping class to make out, “i hate you less than other people”, inside jokes, stealing each others clothes and makeup, bed-sharing, lil bit of healthy possessiveness, love letters, “i’m so proud of you”s, hickeys, never shutting up about each other and annoying the hell out of everyone else, it couple, matching jewellery, fierce loyalty, little gifts for no reason, open flirting, knowing exactly how she likes her coffee, lip-biting, conversations at 3am, ironic pet names, your arm around her, stupid dance parties in your underwear, meeting her parents, singing her to sleep, feeling like you’re missing something when she’s not there, being able to communicate just by giving each other a look, calling her your girlfriend around other people

hufflepuff: nose kisses, playing with her hair as she lays in your lap, bringing her flowers, baking together and getting flour everywhere, cuddling, knowing when to say sorry, picnics, walking her to class even if it’s the opposite direction to where you’re going, blushing, binge-watching series together, hand-holding, knowing exactly how to cheer her up after a bad day, board games, making flower crowns, adopting a pet together, “i’m trying to be mad at you stop looking so cute”, sickeningly domestic, sleepy mornings lying in bed, playlists of songs that remind you of her, one drink two straws, cute petnames, “you hang up first”, realising she’s your best friend, insisting on carrying her books, laughing against each other’s mouths

ravenclaw: poetry, bringing her food/drinks when she’s studying, reading aloud to each other, pushing her glasses up her nose when they slide down, cafe dates, quiet nights in, walks in the woods holding hands, cheek kisses, curling up in one seat, soft love songs, the way your name sounds when she says it, talking for hours, smoothing away the frown between her eyebrows when she’s stressed, shoulder rubs, whispered “i love you”s, scheduled date nights, little notes slipped into books, total support, the feeling of being known, helping each other out, cooking meals for her, slow dancing, “this reminded me of you”, learning all her little quirks, the smell of her hair

anonymous asked:

Your swan story just made me think "What if a tiny 4'11 woman saw a transformed swan and was basically all 'please make me ripped too' and ended up building a house by the lake to be with her swan buds. And people keep passing by and thinking she's a swan in human form, and are not prepared for her friends when their wrong"

(I love this idea! I’m trying this new thing where I don’t write 5,000 words and don’t post because it doesn’t have an ending lol. So here’s a short one!)


“I’ll make her my wife!” Samuel declares, slamming his tankard on the bar. The men and women around him groan, but it’s his best friend Otis that speaks.

“You’ve said that everyday for the past week,” Otis says. “Maybe try talking to her first, huh?”

Samuel shakes his head so hard that his hair, tied up with a scrap of leather, comes undone. “We don’t need words. Our eyes met across the lake. The sun lit up her verdant eyes and–”

We fell in love instantly,” the pub choruses. The ladies in the back all take a shot, giggling at their incomprehensible game.

Samuel continues doggedly. “My mother married a frog, and I will marry myself a swan. Fairy tales run in my family, mate, you’ll see.”

“Sure, you drunk bastard,” Otis says and buys him another pint.

Samuel decides that tomorrow, tomorrow he’ll show them all.

——————————————————

“Good morning,” he calls from the fence line. He swipes his hat from his hand as the young woman turns and tries not to show his nerves. “L-lovely day we’re having, no?”

The young woman blinks at him. She’s small, thin arms and dainty feet with a long, lovely neck. This makes sense, of course, seeing that she is a swan in human form.

Samuel knows that at any moment, his love will invite him in, glad to finally have an excuse to be in his presence just as he is glad to be in hers. It is good that he knows this because the blood is pounding in his ears and he can hardly hear a thing over the thunder of his own heart.

Keep reading

Someone once told me I reminded him of autumn. If people were seasons, I’d be falling leaves and the smell of wet wood. He said even my perfume reminded him of the earth. I suppose in a way he was right. Autumn always reminded me of sadness - the trees crying gold, the wind sweeping them off the ground like pretty little yellow butterflies. No matter how beautiful it looked, everything was sleeping, almost dead, or maybe dreaming. Sometimes I feel like I’m withering away, other times I feel like I’m drifting somewhere I could be alive again. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to the idea of someone saving me. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who would call me spring, instead.

Autumn // Genefe Navilon

room for two- jjk(m)

Originally posted by rapmonsexpensivegirl

summer in New York has never been so hot.

(m)-mature / 6.5k words / roomate!jungkook / happy reading !

reqs;  jungkook accidental roommate smut? u accidentally buy the same apartment (it happens in dramas often) (+)  Can I request switch!jungkook smut? Like he starts out submissive and then bOOM! He’s dominant af


Summer in New York had never been more depressing. Or hot. Every step outside seems to melt the flesh from your bones, every memory you had of him peeled another layer off your heart. It had been three months of pure hell and although the heat made the thought of being close to anyone impossibly unbearable, you’d give anything to hold him in your arms again. But he had cheated on you, left you, and the best thing to do was move on. Or at least try.

The weather forecast predicted a humid rain, clouds shrouding the ominous sky and a layer of mystery covering the roof of your new home. Or the new home you’d be sharing with four other people. This is supposed to be the city of new beginnings and independent lives. Where one can explore themselves through the city. But sadly, as a transferred college student, the only thing you could afford was a share house in the middle of Brooklyn.  

Sucking in a deep breath, you grunt while lugging your large suitcase and duffel up the short set of stairs, banging on the door somewhat gracefully with your elbow. Almost immediately, as if you’d been waited upon, the door unlatches and an older, thinner woman appears. Her skin is somewhere between tan and gold, wrinkle lines around her eyes and mouth. The hair atop her head is swirled into an artful bun, small wisps of white-gray hair escaping the masterpiece.

“Just on time,” her voice is sweet, slow, and welcoming, stepping aside and waving you in.

Keep reading

signs as dumb YA novel clichés

Aries: The Chosen One~ “This wasn’t how my life was supposed to go. When I turned 18, I wasn’t expecting to be thrust into the Underworld. I was gonna go to college, be a normal student and rush Sigma Phi Chiapet my sophomore year. But everything is different now. The prophecy has spoken and I’m going to go through a training montage and become really badass really quickly even though I was against being the chosen one in the first place but now I have a black belt after a month of punching bags of sand and now I’m ready to save the world. And guess what. At the end of the book…………. I save the world.”

Taurus: The “you don’t know think you’re beautiful until a boy tells you so / not like the other girls” average looking protagonist~ “Hi. My name is Tookiewisp Flowerspark. I’ve got mousy brown hair and bright brown eyes. I’m tall and thin and I don’t have boobs yet. I love to wear my worn out high top converse and skinny jeans. Maybe if I wore a dress, boys my age would notice me. But to be honest, I’m just not into girly stuff like most other girls are. You could say I’m different.”

Gemini: Crush throughout the entire novel turns out to be an asshole~ “He’d never notice a girl like me. He doesn’t even know my name!’ *sudden makeover transformation where she takes her hair out of a ponytail and takes off her glasses* Boy: ‘Wow, Winteria Snow. I never realized how pretty you were until you put on makeup and put in some contacts. Will you be my girlfriend?’”

Cancer: Instant love~ “That’s when a saw her, walking down the street. She was coming my way. Her hair blew in the wind like a majestic mane of gold. The way she walked made my heart skip a beat. I started sweating and I couldn’t stop my heart from racing. I stared at her as she walked past and I tried to say hello, but my words came out in a jumble. She gave me a weird look and walked away. It was at that moment that I knew I had fallen in love and found my soulmate. Also, by the end of this book she falls in love with me even though I basically obsessively stalk her throughout the entire novel and have no redeeming qualities.”

Leo: The Queen Bee~ “That’s Brooke Richardsworth. She’s the coolest, most popular girl in school. She’s got long, straight blonde hair and wears pink skirts, pink cardigans and pink headbands. Those are her two slightly less attractive friends, Chelsea and Paige. Brooke is also dating my crush. We used to be friends, but ever since I accidentally spilled my chocolate milk on her back in the third grade, she’s done everything she can to make my life miserable.”

Virgo: Problematic parents~ “My parents recently got divorced, so now on the weekends I hang out with my dad, and during the week I hang out with my mom. It gets pretty tiring going back and forth after a while, but every other Saturday my dad (who is also a professor at a university) takes me camping and we roast hotdogs over a campfire which really makes up for it. Recently though, he’s been hanging around a new young blonde woman named Tamara Blake. He’s been spending all of his time with her. We haven’t even gone camping since they met!”

Libra: The improbable love triangle~ “What am I going to do? I have two boys who just got into a fight at school because they both are in love with me, average annoying weird superiority complex girl. On one hand, there’s Jackson- the brooding bad boy who wears leather jackets and rides motorcycles and treats me like garbage when he’s in a grumpy mood. Then on the other hand, there’s Theodore- the quiet sensitive one who reads books and drinks tea and I always catch him watching me from behind a bookshelf in the library! This is the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make in my life. I HAVE to choose one of them. But… who?”

Scorpio: The dystopian society~ “Hi, I’m Bland McBore. In our society, the rich and the poor are divided into two groups and all the rich people are evil and live in a city where there are floating vehicles and all the buildings are white marble and/or chrome, and all the poor people live in mud huts and have to eat bugs and also everything is a weird shade of gray to represent sadness or something. I am going to start a revolution and overthrow the government with the help of my two best friends and once we start to cause trouble with our rebellion, the leader who is probably an old white guy with a pointed beard will offer us riches that we originally fought against in the beginning but don’t worry we will heroically reject them and fight for equality and won’t stop until society is no longer divided. Also people will definitely die but it will all only be people we are conveniently close to. Me and my two best friends get to live until the very end because we move the plot forward.”

Sagittarius: Protagonist just moved to a new school~ “My dad got a new job so we had to move across the country. I’m really shy and quiet and dorky so I know that my first day is going to be horrible. The teacher will make me stand up at the front of the class and then I’ll cry because I’ll be thinking about my life in my old town. Then as I sit back down at my desk, the teacher will keep on teaching instead of addressing that one of her students is visibly upset and crying. Then, the boy behind me will tap on my shoulder and introduce himself- this boy will be the guy I keep as my friend until the end of the novel where, plot twist, he ends up being my perfect match all along.”

Capricorn: The Intellectual~ “My favorite past time is to go to this tree up on a hill where my mom is buried that is also conveniently in the middle of the woods but also within a short walking distance from my house. I go there and I just think. Not of a lot of kids from school do that these days. Everyone is so obsessed with the latest gossip or the latest trend that it seems like everyone forgot how to, well, think. Sometimes I wish I was like them. I wish I could turn off my brain and mindlessly walk around without a care in the world. But I can’t because I’m different and smarter than everyone else and I also like to read and I love the smell of old books and reading and did I mention that I also love to read.”

Aquarius: Really weird “quirky” names~ “Hi, I’m Ingridagelica Applewindbalmkettlefish and this is my story. I know, I know, my name is pretty strange. My parents picked it because they said that when I was born they knew I was going to grow up and do something really great and unique and they also said that it means “not like the other girls” when spoken in Latin.” 

Pisces: The “nice guy” guy friend who turns out to be The One all along~ “I just can’t believe my crush won’t notice me! Tell me Carter, what am I doing wrong?” “Nothing, Skylightquia. If it’s worth anything, I think you’re pretty…. uh, pretty awesome, I mean.” *Skylightquia sighs and looks up at the stars from the rooftop they got onto somefuckinghow* “The stars are really beautiful, aren’t they?” *Carter looks at her meaningfully* “Yeah they are”

Marilyn Manson CDs

Amortentia

Originally posted by sugutie

Words: 4,778.

Genre: Hogwarts!AU, fluff.

Summary: Ask any girl that thought Jeon Jungkook was handsome or any boy that thought Jungkook was a god and they would say he smelled like the purest form of any man with a harmonious smell of musk, cedar wood, and oak; like fresh rain that soaked in the middle of a mossy forest, spices, and black coffee – but they couldn’t have been more wrong.

A/N: I have no idea what made me want to write this but it was fun and I’m most definitely thinking of making an au for all the boys.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Tips for keeping my apartment clean? Tips for motivating myself to finish unpacking?

Apartment Cleaning 101

1. Make a list. Start by making of list of everything that needs cleaning in your apartment. I like to let lists like these sit out for a day or two, to adjust and add to them as need be. Give yourself a couple days to brainstorm, and try to prioritize chores based off of how time consuming they are.

2. Chore frequency. You’ll notice that some chores become more time consuming the longer you wait to do them, while others do not. Dishes are a prime example- I try to get them done twice a day at least. Vacuuming my apartment, on the other hand, always takes around the same amount of time, so it doesn’t really matter when during the week I do it, just so long as I get it done! 

3. Chore schedule. Basing this next bit off your findings above, plan your “chore schedule”. If you live with roommates and will be dividing chores, you may find it easiest to actually create a hardcopy of a schedule. You’re looking to divide this into three categories:

  • Chores that need to be done every day: Dishes for example
  • Chores that need to be done once a week: Vacuuming or mopping for example
  • Chores that need to be done once a month: Cleaning your refrigerator or closet for example

If you are a pet owner or live with multiple people, you may need a fourth category called “chores that need to be done twice a week”. Things like changing the cat litter or doing a load of laundry.

 4. Divide and conquer. I’m adding this bit for those of you who live with roommates and/or significant others. You can look at doing chores two different ways:

  • Every man for himself (you do your own dishes, your own laundry, you’re responsible for vacuuming your room or living space)
  • Division of labor (my boyfriend cooks, so I do the dishes)

Find a happy medium for all parties concerned, especially if you’re splitting chores with someone you’re sleeping with. I do think it’s important to take into account each person’s business in terms of their work and school load. On days when my boyfriend works eleven hours, I don’t mind picking up the slack and vice versa.

5. Cleaning floors- the complete guide.

  • Wooden Floors
    • Vacuum
    • Mop
    • Allow to air-dry
    • Use a hardwood cleaner (like Bona) to get any difficult spots out
  • Tiled Floors
    • Vacuum
    • Mop
    • Allow to air-dry
    • Use a bleach-based cleaner (like Clorox) to get any difficult spots out.
  • Carpeted Floors
    • Vacuum (use the vacuum’s highest setting)
    • Use an all-purpose cleaner (like Meyer’s) to get any difficult spots out.

6. Mopping. Forget about mixing your own bleach-based chemicals and using one of those raggedy anne mops. Get yourself a Swiffer Wet Jet to save yourself some serious time and headache. Buy the generic brand pad refills for a fraction of the name brand price!

7. Vacuum. You’ll make your life 100x easier if you find yourself a semi-expensive vacuum that doesn’t require vacuum bags. This is my vacuum and I love it. 

8. Wood floors vs. Carpet floors. I personally prefer hardwood floors because they just have a nicer “foot feel” than their counterparts. However, they do require more upkeep than carpet floors, because you can actively feel them getting grotty as your week progresses. Thick carpet is more time-consuming to clean, but you can go two weeks without properly vacuuming and nobody will be any the wiser because the grime just blends in. Disgusting but true.

9. Scented garbage bags. Literally cost the same as regular garbage bags, but help you trash smell fresher for longer. I like to wrap any disregarded food bits (chicken bones, rotten vegetables, etc) in a plastic garbage bag before throwing them in my trash, and this really makes a difference.

10. Kitchen countertops. Unless you’re butchering meat in your apartment, plain old soapy water is the best countertop cleaner. I try to clean my countertops multiple times throughout the week, but sometimes I’m in a rush and only get to it once a week.

11. Washing dishes. I’ve tried lots of name brands and generic brands, and in my opinion the longest lasting and best bang for it’s buck is Dawn dish soap. I’m partial to their Caribbean Escapes which make your kitchen smell like a tropical island. Remember to never leave your sponge sitting in the sink, a moist sponge is prone to all sorts of bad bacteria. If you have a dishwasher, run your sponge through it once or twice a week with your regular wash. 

12. Some cleaners to invest in.

  • Windex: Bought a bottle four years ago when I’m moved into my first apartment and still have about 1/3 of it left. Use to clean windows, mirrors and sliding glass doors. 
  • Bona: It’s the best wood cleaner ever. Ever!
  • Clorox: I currently own both the spray and the disinfectant wipes.
  • Meyer’s: Or some other multi-purpose organic cleaner.

I will do a post sometime tomorrow about unpacking! Hope this helps.

Ya wee bunch o'cowards!

I got a chance to play again with everyone (Sexiest Zombie, Range Proficiency: Dwarf, What Did He Say?). The Party consists of Pete The Warrior, our Necromancer Friend (No one knows his name, we just call him Nec), Anges the Dwarven Boomerang(played by our former cleric DM) and Myself. We are exploring a vampires haunted castle in search for the key that leads to his quarters, we soon come up to a door that stands out.

DM: The door is cleaner and more well kept than most, it is adorned in gold and has spiders carved out of wood.

Nec: Ooooo f*ck no… Nope, no no no. No, my contract says no spiders!

Anges: Tis just a door! Pete show dis ninny ‘ow to be a man!

Pete: I’m with the necro on this one, I don’t want to die again…

Anges: Oh for the love of- FINE *Anges opens the door*

Dm: As Anges opens the door, a larger nearly empty room sits beyond the it. The floor is scattered with webs and bones, the smell of decaying flesh filling the air. You see a pedestal at the back of the room, on it sits a old key, the key that opens the way to the vampire. But just as soon as you see the key, a grotesque hissing is heard from the ceiling as two very large decaying spiders descend and block your path.

Pete: Aaaaaand those are undead spiders…

Nec: I think I just shat myself…

Anges: Ya ’re all just a wee bunch o'cowards! PETE THROW M-

Me(OOC): I run into the room, screaming at the top of my lungs, attempting to dodge the spiders, grab the key and get out!

DM: *Eye twitching* Roll me dexterity twice and apply your bonuses…

Me(OOC): *Rolls a 19 and a Nat 20, but with bonuses from enchanted equipment I dodge both spiders* I parkour around the spiders, running on the walls while still screaming at the top of my lungs. I grab the key and jump off the back wall, performing rad flips over the spiders before landing halfway across the room, then back out! I slam the door behind me shut and bar it shut before looking back at everyone.

*Everyone is staring in disbelief*

Me: I think that went well…

DM: Those were suppose to be bosses…

Growing Pains

Originally posted by harrysimpact

Hello, everyone! I’ve decided to start writing again. This will be a three-part series as of right now so I hope you enjoy the first installment. 

A special shout out to @hcrrystvles for editing this, I love you bb.

dad!harry + teacher!harry

warnings: mentions death, nostalgia, fluff. loads of fluff.

word count: 3,648

summary: the one where Harry’s a school teacher who finds himself teaching the daughter of his first love


Every day that students walked into room 202, they were instantly greeted by the sweet smell of cinnamon buns and vanilla (an air freshener Harry always kept plugged into the wall when he first started working there because it smelt too much like wood). Fairy lights hung above the perimeter of the room, pictures students have drawn covered the wall behind the metallic desk which was covered in magnets. The whole classroom just felt warm. Stepping into Mr. Styles’ year 3 classroom felt like a hug from a friend you haven’t seen in years. It was a safe space for both little ones and teachers alike, no one ever left the room without a bright smile on their face. That was Harry’s specialty.

Harry had taken his job as a teacher very seriously as he took it upon himself to teach the younger generations the most valuable lessons. Not multiplication and cursive writing like the other teachers would say, but things like positivity, acceptance, and kindness. Harry took pride in knowing that when each and every one of his students left his classroom at the end of the year, they carried his teachings with them for the rest of their lives.

Tonight was back to school night and Harry felt himself getting a little nervous as he looked at the time. Parents could be brutal and all he wanted was to be on their good side. He had a feeling this year was about to be little easier though. This year the parents of his students were most likely his age and it brought a strange sense of comfort to him. He could tell because the kids were a lot more open minded and though he wouldn’t admit it, he had a few favorites. Like Harper. The little girl made him feel nostalgic in the strangest way. Maybe it was because she was quite witty for a 7-year-old or that she had an interest in joining his after school choir, but it was something else about her that he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

Keep reading

ISSA STORYTIME

Ok I’m bored so ima tell y’all a wild ass story that happened to me first semester of my college experience; the story of when I got laced by a wild thot with some CRACK. Let’s get into the tea gorls

So I went to art school for communications design. I dont go there no more because it was hella racist, but a different story for a different day. The campus I went to was way up north, in Utica. Never heard of it? Didn’t think you would. Just imagine if the worst neighborhood in Detroit was an entire town with like no people and cows. I don’t know about y’all but at my school we had this thing called late night where we get snacks and shit in the cafeteria after dinner. I was one of 6 black boys in my entire school so it was always dry. So this particular late night I had got a pink wig and started fucking around and giving these crackers some life to entertain myself. My extra ass being who I was did stand-up for the entire night. Since it was early in the school year tho I aint really have no solid friends, so the people who I was gonna go smoke with finished their food and left me like some fucking snakes. When I was done I was deep in my feelings lol because bitch…..you gon spark up…..without me???

I was like “y’know what idgaf, I don’t need you niggas” because I’m likable, right? I could talk to anyone I wanted and make friends. That’s what my dumb ass thought even though I knew damn well these all were some back woods ass white people from Cousin Fucker Nowhere. So I’m standing in front of the dorms like “ok, if I was a white person who loved giving free weed to negroes, what would I look like?” and as though Satan himself heard me, this girl wearing dem Jerusalem B.Cs (you know what I’m talmbout) and a bright jacket that had to be from the thrift store because it smelled like pickled dick and horse radish extract walked past. I was like DING DING DING, gotcha Becky!! So I was like “omg hi sis, I always see you in class and I think your style is so cool blah blah” and all that fake shit. Naturally Linda felt gassed af and immediately offered to let me smoke with her. Yeah, yah boi got it like that.

But mama ain’t raise no fool and I seent Get Out so I don’t go nowhere with a white person without at least one other poc with me. So this couple I’m good friends with now was walking out of the dorms, we just gon call them Peanut & Jelly. They were quiet and both shy people so they didnt hang out much yet. They were also native and latino which was good enough for me so my loud ass was like “Aye, y’all smoke??” it’s 2017 so of course they smoke and I invite them to come smoke some of Margret’s weed. Consider it reparations. Since they ain’t have no friends they were happy to come join us. Smh y’all if you see this I’m so sorry I got y’all into this lmao. Anyway Trisha was like “Super duper the more the merrier, let’s go :))” with her wild ass. But I remembered I still had some of my own weed left so we ran to my room and got it, but I ain’t have no bag to carry it in. So Ingrid said “Oh, I have a bag you can put it in” and pulled out this ashy ass ziploc bag. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE. But my clueless ass thought she just had some plaster or some shit in there before since we went to an art school. Smdh.

Originally posted by ihiphop

Shortly before we depart Peanut and I are getting everything together and making sure there’s no smell. While this is happening Jelly watches Rebecca spread some “dust” on her gums. RED FLAG NUMBER TWO. This nigga thought it was candy dust or something. No one in this equation is particularly bright. But anywhore, we started making moves to this parking lot/roof that we usually hung out at. I was hoping my friends fake asses would be there so I could ditch Jill’s ass. Peanut & Jelly I ain’t mind because they were cool once you got them to talk. I could tell they weren’t feelin Harriet tho lol and tbh neither was I but would your ass turn down a completely free spark up??? Didn’t think so. We get to the roof finally and I start checking my jacket to find I forgot my mini bong in my room. So Elizabeth is like “Oooh awesome we can smoke out of my pipe!” and I’m like lol you bougie ass bitch just call it a bowl. But my fake ass just said “Litty gorl, load that shit up!” thats exactly what I get. She starts loading her “pipe” up and I notice both my weed and hers lookin a lil ashy. AND THATS RED FLAG NUMBER THREE

It’s like 11 at night tho and we only had street lights so I didn’t wanna call Susan out and end up lookin a fool if it was nothing. So I just let her do her thing and pull out my lighter so we can make it do what it do ya feel? So we smokin and I’m having a pretty good time. I feel proud of myself and shit for scamming little Mary Ellen and getting a full spark up after my niggas rolled out on me. I’m like “haha bitch you did that and you high as fuck”. Me being the funny nigga I am in my head, I make myself laugh. Then I realize for someone who smokes pretty regularly and only had two hits, I was already shmizzed for some reason. I look over at Peanut & Jelly and both them niggas lookin like

“Already??? Huh, that’s weird”, young nigga Kam thought to himself. But once again it was free weed so I shut my Nancy Drew ass up and let it go. Debra passes the “pipe” to me and I hit it harder this time because I ain’t pay for it so ima get mines. Because I hit it so hard I kinda taste it and bitch, that shit tasted like Mary J. Bliges leather boots and plastic. So I’m like “yo Amanda, what’s good with your bowl the weed taste weird?” And it ain’t like weed has a particularly good taste but I know it damn sure don’t taste like that. Emily proceeds to say “I don’t think anything’s wrong with the weed, might be the other stuff tho” As soon as she said that shady shit Peanut and I’s heads snapped to look at her like “Bitch….what other stuff??”

Jelly at this point is checked the fuck out, like this nigga is walking through space or some shit. That might just be him tho cause that nigga always acts weird when he high smh. That ain’t the point tho. This raggedy Ann ass hoe starts giggling and laughing like someone said something fuckin funny. I’m sitting there confused and high as shit still got the fucking pink wig on, Peanut got her ass riled up and with good reason because we both know we just asked ole girl a question. So Peanut says one more gain “Did you put some shit in the fucking weed?”. By now I think Amber realizes the joke is nay and she’s close to getting stomped out. Here comes the climax of the story y’all. This bitch gon roll her eyes like we being extra and say “lol it’s fine, we just smoked out of my crack pipe and I haven’t cleaned it yet” When I tell you the entire world went silent, I heard SZA wheezing into her microphone miles away. My ass, Peanut ass, and even Jelly incapacitated ass was all like

“…wut?”

Jelly just started laughing like he just heard the funniest thing ever in his whole life. Peanut was staring at Tina like she was preparing her alibi for the police when they find that lil girl’s body. And me, you ask? I was just thinkin bout my girl Whitney. Like sis, is this how it started for you? I was looking at Rachel all hurt. Et tu Becky? All a nigga wanted was some weed and now my ass sitting on a roof high off crack. Suddenly time returns to normal and the only thing my faded ass can muster is a “Pardon me???” Helen continues to chuckle like she Tiffany Haddish up in this bitch and tells us that she smokes crack and weed out of that bowl sometimes, and that we had placed the collective weed in her coke bag. Jelly stupid ass still in the corner laughing to keep from crying because I knew that baby voiced nigga was scared. I’m so astounded at this point that I can’t even drag this wild ass bitch. Peanut however, is not me. Lort I never seen anyone but my momma yolk somebody up so fast! She smooth slid across that asphalt like

Grabbed Ellie, and said “BITCH HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??” and started shaking that bitch like she was tryna give her shaken baby syndrome. Jelly managed to get himself together enough to try and keep his girl from going to jail. What was I doing? Well I knew I had a choice, I could help Peanut throw Taylor off the roof, or I could help Jelly keep our good sis from catchin a charge. So I chose the smartest option. MY ASS STARTED TO HIT FOOT.

That shit wasn’t none of my business no more!! Bitch the link up is over! The deck is DONE. I could already hear my momma belt whoopin my crack head ass in my mind, no thank you ma’am! My black ass was done for the night. As I’m running back towards campus I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to find Jelly running behind me, dragging Peanut along by the hand. Chloe however, is nowhere to be found. I ain’t stop running tho. Was it fear, was it anger, was it the adrenaline pushing me to run? Nah I was on crack so it was prolly that lol. We run until we’re two blocks away from campus and I’m finally too tired to run, which surprised me because I always assumed crackheads were just like the enegizer bunny. So we’re catching our breath and I’m tryna keep from falling over because I feel hella whoozy, but I manage to ask “What happened to Bobby?” Peanut proceeds to tell me she took one good fist, and dropped Katy like a bad habit. I was proud of sis too because she’s twig thin and I thought she was meek af. We start walking back to the dorms and all 3 of us are just silent. Ain’t nobody got shit to say bitch we on crack. Peanut and I lived 2 doors down from each other so they go in her room and I go in mine after we say our good nights. I go in my room and my roommate is there with his boyfriend. Immediately my roommate is like “lol you’re high af” and my overly trusting ass gon tell him “This girl laced the weed with crack”. This cracker ass bitch gon look at me and say “oh really…..are you ok?” like I just got into a small argument. Like nigga….I GOT LACED WITH CRACK DO I LOOK OK???

So I sit down and start watching videos on my laptop to try and distract myself from my anxiety because a nigga was SHOOKT to the core. My roommate and his boyfriend were just watching me like I was a good ass episode of something. I don’t blame ‘em tho, I looked wild af. I was twitching, teetering, and sweating like shit even though it was late September in upstate New York. Now this fake ass bitch gon take a snapchat video of my crackhead ass trippin and put it on his story for everyone to see. Needless to say after that day ain’t nobody fuck with Molly ever again. One good thing did come out of it tho, Peanut, Jelly, and I became real tight after that. And what became of Becky you ask? She made sure to steer clear of all 3 of us and my friends lol because they threatened to cut that hoe. Moral of the story children? Don’t trust white people.

sitting inside one of my favorite coffee shops with one of my favorite people. it’s raining outside, my dream house is right across the street, i have ben howard playing, and i have time to simply d r e a m. it’s been a while since i’ve had the privilege of time to myself.

i’m dreaming of this house right across the street: it’s wood shake siding, brick chimney, big trees surrounding it, warm lights in the attic, and small front yard. it’s secluded while simultaneously being in the middle of the city. i dream of owning a home just like this very one; minneapolis is good at combining city living + lots of trees and lakes, so i’m thankful that that dream isn’t so unrealistic here. i dream of filling the house with a family and lots of food and laughter and love. i dream of slow sundays where the house smells like warm soup and pjs are worn all day. i dream of waking up early and walking across the street to the coffee shop i sit in right now to have a cup of coffee while i read the newspaper. i dream of flower boxes and cozy friday nights and favorite songs floating throughout the house. i dream of quiet, rainy saturday afternoons where we keep the windows open to hear + smell the rain while we read books and soft, classical music plays in the background. i dream of walking our pup through the neighborhood with friends and then having them over for dinner + wine + real conversation out in the front yard under string lights. i dream of you, of you, of you doing all of this alongside me. my heart hurts with how far i feel from you, with how far all of this dream feels. at the same time, though, my heart is hopeful for this. for you.

I’ve been tagged! Thankyou to @islandfeuer for tagging me to answer 20 questions. I thought I’d combine this with a personal post as I graduated yesterday and now officially have a degree in English Literature from the University of Sheffield! I sadly didn’t get to keep the hat. 

Name: Harriet
Nicknames: None really, though I once knew a guy who called me Haribo
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Height: About 5′8 or 176.784cm
Orientation: North (but also I like men) 
Nationality: British/English
Favorite Fruit: Raspberries 
Favorite Season: Autumn (the best colours to photograph)
Favourite Book: Difficult to say as I read so much! I recently read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and loved it! I also wrote my dissertation on H.G Wells’ War of The Worlds so that’s a firm favourite, and Kate Chopin’s The Awakening will always have a place in my heart. 
Favorite Flower: Forget-me-nots and daisies. 
Favorite Scent: Wood shavings, old books, cakes in the oven, an open fire, the smell before rain…
Favorite Color: Probably black, as it dominates my wardrobe.
Favorite Animal: Dogs (especially my dog), red pandas, penguins and otters!
Coffee, tea or hot cocoa: Fruity tea, and the occasional hot chocolate.
Average sleep hours: Maybe 8?
Cat or dog person: Definitely dogs
Favorite fictional character: I’m a big fan of R2-D2 and BB-8 from Star Wars (beep boop) 
Number of blankets you sleep with: One duvet and the occasional blanket
Blog Created: January 2015
Number of followers: 3845, but probably fewer if I had the time to filter out all the spam blogs.

I’ll refrain from directly tagging others as I’m terrible at keeping track of who’s already done this, but feel free to join in if you’ve not done already!