i love that she's never shamed or punished for not liking guys

a hundred random starters 

below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)

  • ❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞
  • ❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞
  • ❝ love is love is love is love. ❞
  • ❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞
  • ❝ why are you crying this time? ❞
  • ❝ you will never escape. ❞
  • ❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞
  • ❝ everything has its consequences. ❞
  • ❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞
  • ❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞
  • ❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞
  • ❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞
  • ❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞
  • ❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞
  • ❝ they died screaming. ❞
  • ❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞
  • ❝ how long have you known? ❞
  • ❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞
  • ❝ the law can be changed. ❞
  • ❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞
  • ❝ your child is adorable! ❞
  • ❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞
  • ❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞
  • ❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞
  • ❝ he adores you. ❞
  • ❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞
  • ❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞
  • ❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞
  • ❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞
  • ❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞
  • ❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞
  • ❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞
  • ❝ then kill me. ❞
  • ❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞
  • ❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞
  • ❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞
  • ❝ death is just another adventure. ❞
  • ❝ stop! ❞
  • ❝ let them watch. ❞
  • ❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞
  • ❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞
  • ❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞
  • ❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞
  • ❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞
  • ❝ you love him? ❞
  • ❝ do you love me at all? ❞
  • ❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞
  • ❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞
  • ❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞
  • ❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞
  • ❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞
  • ❝ the king is displeased. ❞
  • ❝ long live your majesty! ❞
  • ❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞
  • ❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞
  • ❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞
  • ❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞
  • ❝ do you really think that? ❞
  • ❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞
  • ❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞
  • ❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞
  • ❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞
  • ❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞
  • ❝ are you a virgin? ❞
  • ❝ I’m married. ❞
  • ❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞
  • ❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞
  • ❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞
  • ❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞
  • ❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞
  • ❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞
  • ❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞
  • ❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞
  • ❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞
  • ❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞
  • ❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞
  • ❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞
  • ❝ are we going to die here? ❞
  • ❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞
  • ❝ I am no longer a child! ❞
  • ❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞
  • ❝ what if something happens to them? ❞
  • ❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞
  • ❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞
  • ❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞
  • ❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞
  • ❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞
  • ❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞
  • ❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞
  • ❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞
  • ❝ this is my home. ❞
  • ❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞
  • ❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞
  • ❝ fuck me. ❞
  • ❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞
  • ❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞
  • ❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞
  • ❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞
  • ❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞
  • ❝ what do I want? I want to kiss you a thousand times before undressing you & kissing every bit of your flesh a thousand more times. ❞
M A S T E R L I S T

A V E N G E R S 

Avengers 

        ~ Lonely Hearts and Sad Bars: A bartender’s observations of the Avengers. 

Steve Rogers (Captain America)

Wise Fools Series:  When Hydra hires an agent of SHIELD to bring down an none other than the Captain himself, chaos ensues.

~ Fool Me Once ~ Shame On You ~ Fool Me Twice  ~ Shame On Me

~ One Last Dance (drabble):  Walking away from the venue, his jaw clenched, he knows he should’ve asked her for one last dance.

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

        ~ Love (drabble): Never had the words ‘I love you’ been shared between the two, but perhaps, it wasn’t necessary.

        ~ StardustKnight! Bucky X Castle Maid! Reader AU; A maid loves a lord. A lord loves a maid. Surely, a union between the two will never come to be. 

        ~ All the Things Left Unsaid: He loved her. A woman of hope, ambition, of joy. There’d been so much that he’d wanted to say to her and so much that he hadn’t.

        ~ Safe (drabble): Another nightmare, another hopeless day. He feels helpless, broken. Will he ever be safe?

        ~ Mercy: Everyone has secrets. The only question that differs is who shows mercy when those secrets tear at crumbling walls built to contain them?

        ~ The Girl in the Flower Dress (drabble): There’s this girl. There’s this guy. The guy’s in love with the girl but he’s too big of an idiot to even talk to her.

        ~ Answers (drabble): Some questions don’t need to be asked. 

        ~ Their Story: Moulin Rouge AU; What happens when an oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverished protege falls in love with a courtesan?

       ~ Storm (drabble): Storms do, after all, leave clear skies to marvel at.

       ~ Roses: Is it possible to win a girl’s heart in a day? 

       ~ First Kiss (drabble) (ask)

       ~ Little Tricks: Unseelie Fae AU; They say love is beautiful and yet - after love, no one is what they were before. It’s what happens to all things beautiful.

        ~ A Change of Routine: Bucky finds what he’s looking for without even knowing it’s what he needs.

        ~ Mishaps: When Bucky receives a message from a barista, he figures it’d be rude not to respond. 

        ~ By Chance: Bucky falls in love with a stranger.

        ~ Adopting a dog with Bucky (headcanons)

        ~ Teach Me Happy (series): In which someone who fixes hearts and someone who breaks hearts fall in love. 

she touches you like you’re fragile, and if you break, you won’t be able to put yourself together again

Tony Stark (Ironman)

       ~ Almost (drabble): Almost is the saddest word in the entire vernacular. It’s just there but no quite. So close to something that could be. But sometimes, almost can be happy. 

       ~ Home (drabble): Sometimes, home isn’t a place. It’s a person. 

T’Challa Udaku (Black Panther)

        ~ Snowfall: She’s never seen snow before. She’d do anything to see it.

_____________________________________________________________

X - M E N

Logan Howlett (Wolverine) 

         ~ Helpless (drabble): He’s been through a lot. He’ll never change. 

         ~ Worst Timing (drabble): Logan finds the worst time to tell you that he loves you.

         ~ Card Towers (drabble): It’s almost funny how easy it is to destroy hope.

_____________________________________________________________

D A R E D E V I L 

Matthew Murdock (Daredevil)

         ~ The Fall Of An Angel: He loved to hear her sing, but he never knew the reason behind her heartbreaking tunes.

Frank Castle (The Punisher)

         ~ Remember (poetic drabble??): Frank’s recollection of his memories.

_____________________________________________________________

R E A L  P E R S O N 

Sebastian Stan

       ~ Forbidden: Unseelie Fae! Sebastian Stan X Reader AU; A human has entered the realm of the fairies, a land forbidden. What good can come of it?

Flawed Words Series (Sebastian X OC): tba

      ~ Part I 

Chris Evans

      ~ Midnight: Does love mean that you’re meant to be?

_____________________________________________________________

Smut masterlist

° * ———— RIVERDALE SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ What? Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world. ’
’ Can I borrow the truck for the drive-in? ’
’ Ah okay. Isn’t there a nice gay kid at your school? ’
’ We both know what goes in those woods. ’
’ Alright. No cruising guys tonight. ’
’ I learned that from the Nancy Drew detective handbook. ’
’ What would your Holy Roller mother say about this, _____? ’
’ And where did you get those thigh-high boots? They’re amazing. ’
’ My type? Definitely. ’
’ But you’ve got more demons than The Exorcist. ’
’ Is it true what they say about your dad? ’
’ Does everyone here know? ’
’ That he’s the devil incarnate? I stand by my father. ’
’ I’m asking you now, right now, if you love me, or even like me? ’
’ I can’t give you the answer you want. ’
’ I’ve never been good enough for you. ’
’ I’ll never be good enough for you. ’
’ You are so perfect. I’ve never been good enough for you. ’
’ That’s where I was living before. ’
’ Why the hell aren’t you living at home? ’
’ Truth is things aren’t great at home. ’
’ He/she keeps promising that he/she will get his/her act together. ’
’ Screw that! Live with me. ’
’ It’s temporary. I’m going to figure something out. ’
’ Just don’t tell anybody, especially not _____. ’
’ She’s/he’s not going to care. ’
’ Well, exactly. Don’t tell her/him either. ’
’ Why did you leave the home? ’
’ You could’ve really hurt yourself. ’
’ I couldn’t just stay there, waiting for someone who was never going to show. ’
’ I don’t have any money. I don’t have anything. ’
’ Why don’t you just stay here? ’
’ They made that very clear, and that’s not what I want. ’
’ There’s no more stigma. ’
’ You don’t know what they’ll do. ’
’ I won’t have my baby raised in a home that doesn’t want it. ’
’ I cannot lose you again. ’
’ I’m not kidding, the clothes off our backs. ’
’ Like it meant nothing. Like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. ’
’ And you want my help to give it to your boy/girlfriend? ’
’ I was going to apologize to you. ’
’ Honey, I can’t agree to that. ’
’ I don’t want any part of it. ’
’ You weren’t at the drive-in. ’
’ Where were you? ’
’ You think that he/she has the stomach for that?! ’
’ You’re sounding crazy just like your sister/brother. ’
’ I didn’t get the memo we were adding another voice to the mix. ’
’ So that makes me…what then…backup? ’
’ I mean, you were just doing this as a favor to me, right? ’
’ You literally have zero loyalty. ’
’ Everyone else is…disposable. ’
’ You know…maybe it’s not such a bad thing to try a new voice? ’
’ You know how your father feels about pop music. ’
’ I understand, and I won’t. ’
’ Because if you do, he/she will somehow blame me. ’
’ I feel like I don’t even know who my mom and dad are anymore. ’
’ Is this your playing hand? ’
’ And yet, stop punishing yourself while you’re at it. ’
’ I got slammed because I didn’t know the play. ’
’ You know, I endorse this. ’
’ I’ve had my seven minutes of heaven with ________. ’
’ God knows what you’d say. Something to humiliate us? ’
’ Every town has one, the spooky house that all the kids avoid. ’
’ Linked in death even as they were in life. ’
’ It’s off-brand and it sends a false message of acceptance. ’
’ You got a date? ’
’ There is no record of her/him before that. ’
’ Facebook, her/him Linked In account…they were all created a year ago. ’
’ Where did you find all this? ’
’ The deep web, the dark internet. ’
’ Check it, it’s all online…simple Googling. ’
’ What’s happening out there? ’
’ What’s happening out there? Do we know? Is it about me? ’
’ Do we know? Is it about me? ’
’ You do you, girl/boy. I’ll be back. ’
’ What was it like before she/he got here? ’
’ What was it like before she/he got here? I honestly cannot remember. ’
’ No longer lactose intolerant, I see. ’
’ Oh, you don’t even know, do you? ’
’ The things they’re saying about your daughter/son at school? ’
’ Slut-shaming. It’s what they call it when sluts get shamed. ’
’ You should be writing about the real story. ’
’ And who shot that gun on July 4? ’
’ What the hell is a “Sticky Maple”? ’
’ No, _______, it’s a slut-shaming thing. ’
’ I’m neither a slut nor am I going to be shamed by someone. ’
’ Does he/she really think he/she can get away with this? ’
’ Does he/she not know who I am?! ’
’ I will cut the brakes on his supped-up phallic symbol. ’
’ I need you to tell me the truth about something. ’
’ Will he/she be able to make a living at it? ’
’ You’re here for me, aren’t you? ’
’ You’re here for me, aren’t you? Because of the autopsy? ’
’ We don’t need to do this in front of your classmates. ’
’ No, that won’t be necessary. ’
’ Back to no texting. What about you? ’
’ I’m back to being the shallow, toxic rich bitch who ruins everything in her path. ’
’ Is this…how you feel about…is it real? ’
’ It is. It is real. Maybe it’s not right, but it’s real. ’
’ I’m “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” but this place is strictly “In Cold Blood.” ’
’ I’m filled with dread. ’
’ Game changer - ________ got hot! ’
’ Six more reasons for you to take that ginger bull by the horns tonight. ’
’ He’s got abs now. Six more reasons for you to take that ginger bull by the horns tonight. ’
’ Is cheerleading still a thing? ’
’ Is being the gay best friend still a thing?! ’
’ What is a “Chock'lit Shoppe” and why does it sell burgers?! ’
’ We are all on the spectrum but my gay-o-meter says you should stick with what you know best…girls/boys. ’
Two Nights Stand Part 2

Summary: (Modern Au) After a bad breakup, your roommate insists that you need to a one night stand to end your dry spell. Following her advice, you have a bad one nigh stand with Bucky Barnes, but what happened when you are forced to spend time with him?

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1433

Warnings: This is vaguely inspired by a movie of the same name. In the future, the series will be having smut so be warned.

A/n: Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta.

Part 1

Credits to the gifs owners

You wake up scared, not because you had a nightmare but because you feel something heavy on top of you an arm. Lazily you open your eyes seeing the man by your side, you can’t deny he is really cute but you don’t want to be here when he wakes up.

Delicately you take his arm from the top of you and slips off of the bed, you are definitely not ready to have that awkward morning talk. What do you even say to someone that you just had sex but don’t want to see ever again?  It was nice to have your dick inside of me but I am going now, don’t forget to wash your sheets?

You don’t think so; carefully you retrace your steps trying to find your clothes. When you are dressed properly you try to get out, but his door is locked and you can’t find the key anywhere. You hope that this is not the beginning of a horror movie before you can try anything else you hear his alarm going off not leaving you to many options.

Keep reading

Sorting Sense8

For those who are new to the sortinghatchats system, our basics post is here. But to sum it up: the way we play this game, your “primary” house is WHY you do things and your “secondary” house is HOW.

We just really like defining our terms, okay. It makes us happy. 

Lito is probably the easiest of the lot to sort– a Slytherin Primary and Slytherin Secondary who uses both these aspects of himself to survive, thrive, and find joy. As a Slytherin Primary, his first priorities are himself and the people he loves– a short list that tentatively grows over the course of the series. Lito’s journey is, among other things, the story of a young Slytherin coming into his own as a responsible agent. Lito wants things, selfishly and emotionally– he loves in the same way.

It is not Dani or the horror of her situation that drive Lito to make his decisions at the end of season one, but Hernando’s leaving. Dani’s situation threw Lito into angst and chaos, but he stood by his priorities– his career, his privacy, and his comfortable life. Hernando, both braver and then fonder of Dani than Lito, was the catalyst that pushes Lito to overthrow his entire world to be brave.

(By season two, however, Dani is solidly in Lito’s deepest circles of loyalty. She’s family, then, and if the plot of season one repeated somehow, it would go rather different.)

Lito’s Slytherin secondary is also fairly obvious, as he’s the sensate called on whenever someone needs a lie, a distraction, or a bit of help with overdramatics. His acting is not just a job and a skill, but something  he finds deep joy, validation, and power in. It’s an important part of his personality– his ability to shift, perform, and transform.

Hernando, Lito’s boyfriend, is a Ravenclaw Primary, a contrast which causes both conflict and growth in their relationship. Deliberate, confident, kind, and cerebral, Hernando provides both practical ballast and a call to bravery for Lito– in turn, Lito’s passion, ambition, and flexibility make Hernando’s life a better, brighter place. But when it came down to a choice between staying with the man he loved, or refusing to be complicit, however indirectly, in terrible things, Hernando chose to walk away– and Lito, bless his heart, chose to follow.

(I would also acquiesce rather quickly to claims that Hernando is actually just a very “smart-flavored” Gryffindor).

Hernando loves Lito’s playful Slytherin Secondary, though his is a little quieter– a Hufflepuff Secondary. He loves Lito by waiting for him, by showing up and being present and waiting for him to be brave. He eventually acts as catalyst to change his and Lito’s world not by convincing, persuading, discussing, or charging at the issue but by simply walking away. Hufflepuff secondaries are often overlooked but often form the backbone or bedrock of whatever communities or efforts they support. By leaving, Hernando yanks the rug out from under Lito’s feet and forces him to learn how to stand.

Look also at how he pulls off the scene when his asshole student projects the pictures of him and Lito. He takes in the attack, and then with a patient confidence uses all his knowledge and skill as an academic and a lecturer to reclaim and transform the moment. He turns something meant to shame him into a moment of pride and beauty, while calmly forcing the attacker to shrink in shame of his own making. In spaces that Hernando has embodied and built– his home and relationship, his classroom– he can wield an immense and debilitating power, underestimated by those who expect strength to be something more straightforward and aggressive.

Dani is a Slytherin Primary as well, though I dither about her secondary– either Hufflepuff or Slytherin. Whichever one she doesn’t have, she occasionally pretends she does. I think she’s a Hufflepuff secondary (look at how she gets Lito the interview in Hollywood), but with a convincing veneer of Slytherin. She’s the “well I know a guy” version of the Hufflepuff secondary– at her happiest she is thriving and succeeding using the connections and knowhow she’s gathered, all in the service of people she loves.

Wolfgang is another Slytherin Primary– unlike Lito, who had to recalibrate to lift Hernando’s needs (and Dani’s) above his own ambitions, Wolfy is more likely to need to remember to value his own needs and wants. In some ways, he’s got a parallel arc with Kala, there, as she too goes on a journey to accept that she wants and that sometimes she can have and that doesn’t make her evil.

When we meet Wolfy, the only person he cares about is Felix, his scrappy, loyal best friend who I like to imagine one day gets to meet Capheus and watch terrible B action movies with him. Wolfy’s Slytherin primary is fairly obvious to any character with eyes, ears, or a brain stem, and so various plots around him turn on that loyalty– hurting Felix to punish Wolfy, rewarding him to court Wolfy. It’s a character role more often given to the sweet beloved and it’s rather delightful to see that dynamic play out with the gangly, startled Felix, who doesn’t understand how important he is.

Wolfy’s secondary is Hufflepuff– the house of patience and toil. A deliberate and reserved fellow, Wolfy just keeps going until he either breaks or succeeds. One of the assets being a sensate provides him is that he can borrow others’ flexibilities (or, rather, have those flexibilities anxiously thrust at him, when he seems on the verge of breaking). He and Lito serve each other especially well in this respect, with Lito stepping in to lie and maneuver when a flexible hand is needed, and Wolfy stepping in for Lito when he needs to stand in front of an oncoming force and refuse to budge, bow, or back away.

Kala, a Ravenclaw secondary, complements as opposed to supplements Wolfy’s secondary skills. When Wolfy’s resources and opportunities run low during his methodical murder of the men who almost killed Felix in season one’s climax, Kala steps in to provide additional destructive ballast in the form of kitchen sink explosives. Where Wolfy is terminator-level stubborn, carrying a host of earned skills and some terrifying patience to the battleground, Kala is prepared, inquisitive, and quick-thinking. As they both came into their own, and as they learned to lean on each other and trade strengths and skills, I think the pair of them would have turned into an even more terrifying duo of persistence predators.

Kala’s a Gryffindor Primary who’s interacted with very few real dilemmas in her life. She feels things strongly and with certainty, despite her lingering doubts about her ability to be a good person and to know wrong from right. It’s that strong desire to be good, to know what the right thing is and to do it, that marks her as a Gryffindor. She’s someone who cares about being passionate, righteous, and good, but she’s never had an enemy force to charge or a thorny path to defy. She’s always known what the sensible next step was– love her family, go to university, marry the nice man who loves her– but as she grows older she can tell there’s something missing. She keeps doing the “right” things, but she doesn’t care, and she wants so badly to care.

She worries she’s “bad,” maybe even just amoral, but the fact that this upsets her contradicts her worries– as does the fact that, when moral quandaries she does care about thump down at her feet, she reacts with immediate moral certainty. When she learns about the unethical activities of Rajan’s pharmaceutical company, her response is instant and righteous. It is wrong, she knows it, and she won’t stand for it. When shit hits the fan, Kala doesn’t dither or hesitate.

Despite that, much of her first season of story arc is Kala doing just that– dithering and hesitating over questions of love, fidelity, and marriage. She knows what’s supposed to happen, what she’s supposed to want, and she sits for most of the season in the middle of that quandary. On first glance, Kala can even look like a “burned” Gryffindor: someone who cares deeply about doing the right thing, but has lost their faith in their own intuition or goodness– or even in the idea of right and wrong itself.

But Kala’s not “burned” or frightened– rather, she’s just sort of morally bored.

Doing what is right and good matters to her, and Kala is passionate and  unflinching when it comes to those big questions– and marrying and loving Rajan should be one of those big questions. The thing is– it’s not. Not for Kala, and so she’s left in a tremulous in-between where she can’t rely on her gut, instincts, or desires to drive her to action.

Kala has never really wanted anything before. She’s never had big, important decisions thrown at her feet, and she’s intellectually certain this marriage thing should probably be a big deal. But no matter how she struggles to care about this and make a decision that comes from the heart, she can’t force it on herself. The inability to care here and to act intuitively makes her feel adrift and insincere. It’s not just that she’s not passionate about marrying Rajan– she’s not even passionate about not marrying him. It’s all a wash. Adultery, psychic or otherwise, is something that Kala vaguely thinks she should care about– but she doesn’t.

(Rajan, like Wolfy and Dani, is a Slytherin/Hufflepuff– he cares first and foremost about the people he loves, and he’s even fairly good at it, caring for Kala warmly and respectfully. 

Like Lito, Dani, and Wolfy, Rajan’s a Slytherin primary who hasn’t really bothered supplementing his “me and mine” morality with some sort of additional, larger set of guidelines. He wants to be okay, he wants Kala to be okay, and he likes to be nice. His quick and actual turn-around on the malevolent pharmaceutical practices is an aspect of his Slytherin– his wife cares and so as soon as he has time to digest her emotions, he cares, too, and morever, he acts in an immediate and effective way. It’s not even that he’s doing that to make Kala happy– it’s that it matters to Kala and therefore it is important and right.

His Hufflepuff secondary shows in the company he’s inherited and the ways he’s invested and buried in its mechanisms, his ability to play well with others without ever seeming to “transform” to do so (in the way a Slytherin secondary would), and his patient, kind courtship of Kala.)

In the style of Katniss Everdeen, the inspiring power of Capheus’s Gryffindor secondary astonishes him with both the quality and quantity of its effect. Gryffindor secondaries with such political and televised presences can becomes “figures” instead of people– despite their “realness” often being what the masses like and respond to in them. Capheus, like Katniss volunteering for Prim or mourning Rue, is just being himself– but it makes him into Van Damn the same way Katniss became the Mockingjay.

Capheus is good, and he believes in things until they happen. “I think it’s going to be a really good day,” he says. Capheus’s faith is something that can and does change his world. It’s the same thing that inspires even his enemies to like him– like the fellow who came to warn him mid-season 2 and promised him his vote if he lived.

On the primary side: Capheus has a strong and emotional sense of right and wrong, but also a willingness to hold himself away from things he think he cannot change. But, as he becomes more aware of his own power and how he might affect the world, he finds it impossible to keep himself in the shadows. He is like his father, which he and his mother fight about. Capheus cannot sit still when the world is broken and (and the “and” here is important) when he thinks he can change that world for the better. Like much of the cast, he’s a Gryffindor primary, who holds a strong and kind internal compass in his chest.

Losing her mother, her burdens dropped soundly on her young shoulders, left Sun growing up with a yawning absence and a sense of always trying to play catch-up. She was supposed to be her mother, to care for her brother, despite being a child herself. As an adult, she blames herself for her brother’s crimes and feels guilt for not being “good” enough– for not being who and what she was supposed to be.

Sun tries to build herself into what she thinks she should be– but she is at her strongest and most joyous when she is being what she is and just acting. There is a sense, with Sun, that she is always holding back– from that first clenched fist in her opening scene in the pilot to the moment she bursts into potentially murderous action in the season two climax. She has trouble trusting herself enough to act on her instincts– a “burned” Gryffindor who doesn’t believe in her own goodness, value, or strength– except for single spark-bright moments when she does. This might be why she likes fighting so much– for an instant, in the ring,  she knows exactly what she needs to do and she does it unflinching. After a season of considering, dithering, and thinking, she makes the snap decision in the climax of season two to go after her brother and it is a release and a culmination.

Sun tries to use reason and logic, a Ravenclaw’s tools, to supplement for her lack of faith in her Gryffindor. Her mother gave her that initial rule— take care of your brother. And she does: we see in the beginning of season one how aware she is of where her brother’s likely haunts are, how practiced she is at finding him. She carries her position in the company with grace and conviction even when having to deal with sexists who dismiss her. When considering whether or not to take the fall for her brother, she doesn’t listen to her gut screaming against it but instead walks and thinks and tries to use her reason to convince herself it is the right thing to do. She continues on trying to follow her mother’s gift of a system– take care of your brother– at the expense of everything she has.

The Sun who leaves the prison is different from the lonely young woman who entered it– this “new” Sun would never had given up her life for her brother’s. After friendship, connection, and support from the other inmates (and her fellow sensates), Sun is far more convinced of her own value and her own right to freedom. After her mother’s death, her father’s distance, and the adult-sized burdens she’s carried since childhood, Sun before this lacked any evidence that she was worth something to anyone.

Painting with her friends, conversation, and camaraderie were all influential in changing Sun’s view of her value, but one of the most influential moments was when the guards were killing her and her friend came to her rescue. Sun believes in action more than words, and that was certainly a clear-cut message about what her friend thought Sun’s life was worth. As she heals throughout the story, she swaps out some of logic she uses to guilt herself instead for the faith her friends have in her.

Those friends also give a nod to Sun’s secondary– Hufflepuff. It is the work, patience, and time Sun has put into things that pay out in the end for her. This is as true in her fighting as it is in the kindnesses she pays to others. Her teacher, her inmate friends, and the cop with the crush on her are all examples of this– anyone who knows Sun knows she is good– so good they are all willing to fight for her in their own ways. Her teacher hides her. Her inmate friends support her and even kill for her. The cop, who has seen her grit and goodness exactly once, immediately believes her and wants to be on her side. Similarly, it is years of patience and toil that have left her talented and powerful as a fighter. 

Riley is very tired and very sad, and that makes her sorting complex from the outside. Whatever her primary is, it’s burned to almost a crisp. She’s not a Slytherin, who prioritizes personal loyalties and obligations first. “Burned” Slytherins try to cut off all their emotional ties for self-protection, but Riley has no angst or barrier around caring for people, despite her losses. The same goes for Hufflepuff, the other “loyalist” House. Hufflepuffs care in a broader and fairer way than Slytherins, but the heart of it is still connection and obligation. “Burned” Hufflepuffs also try to limit their caring, exhausted and aching, and we don’t see that with Riley. She doesn’t seem to be avoiding connection when she’s hurting, and as she heals over the course of the series she doesn’t leap for and glory in the new connections she builds and accepts.

This leaves as options a “burned” Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, the two “idealist” Houses. Gryffindors value their gut where Ravenclaws value their reason– when a Gryffindor “burns,” they lose faith in their ability to know what’s right, to feel it, and to trust their intuition. When a Ravenclaw “burns,” they lose faith in their ability to think, assess, understand, comprehend, or decide. As Riley heals and comes into her own in season two, she seems to glory in her own growing faith in her inner compass. There is a delight in knowing her path and sinking her teeth into a fight that is particularly Gryffindor.

Additionally, like many young women who fall into the “manic pixie dream girl” mold, Riley is a Gryffindor secondary. Creative and genuine, the way she unflinchingly embodies what she does is apparent especially in her music and its reported effects on people. People are drawn to Riley, whether she wants them or not. She has a “shine” that’s exhausting, illuminating, and powerful. It’s what drew that one slick, creepy drug dealer’s notice, and also what lets her charm and win over our grumpy Scottish sensate friend. When entrenched in the paranoia of the sensate community, Riley cracks open their defenses with a moment of brave and risky honesty–letting him see where she and Will are–and, what’s more, he believes her when she does it. 

Will, despite having one of the spottier character consistencies in the story, settles pretty soundly as a Hufflepuff Primary/Ravenclaw Secondary. He’s a loyal, dependable kid who hangs a lot of his identity and worth on his allegiance to groups and families– he’s a cop, he’s a sensate, and both these groups matter enormously to his self-image. He’s torn between those loyalties– abandoning his partner and his father, his obligations to his new sensate family. Of the cast, he’s by far the most sympathetic to Whispers, who is “like them.”

Will’s best skills are showcased in his early season two interactions with Whispers, when he plays Sherlock to identify where the holding cell is, gathering data, pulling information out of Whispers’s shoes and wall outlets, and extrapolating onward. He pulls long cons (pretending they were still in Iceland, etc) or detailed, sturdy plans. He likes prep, experience, and back up– he hates it when Riley has to go off on her own to Chicago without him or any fallbacks, but Gryffindor Riley delights in the movement. He’s a cop-flavored Ravenclaw Secondary, and effective with it.

Nomi’s yet another Gryffindor Primary in this cluster of Gryffindors. She has a strong and intuitive sense of right and wrong, something that drives her to make good and effective changes in the world. Stepping in to take the fall for Bug was a practical and selfless move that she carries with her humbly. She’s the kind of person who might claim and believe that “anyone would have done the same.”

It’s also something, however, that can lead her to neglect anything outside her cause of the moment. Nomi can get tunnel vision, such as when she abandons her sister at the dress fitting, not even waiting to hear the end of Teagan’s question. Nomi is deeply invested in whatever her highest priority is, which makes her an effective agent in the plot, but which also means she can abandon things (at least temporarily) that do genuinely mean the world to her. She loves her sister, but they got news about Angelica’s cabin and that takes priority in that moment.

Nomi can’t do things in halves– she’s all in, or she’ll have to get back to you later. Her sister, who seems to be a loyalist house (either Hufflepuff or Slytherin) is thrown off and disappointed by what surely feels to her to be a lack of Nomi’s affection (and certainly is a lack of Nomi’s attention)– but in the tradition of a good loyalist, Teagan seems to be always willing to be there when Nomi pops back into her life.

There’s a certainty and validation, as well as a mutual awe, that Nomi and Amanita find in each other here. Both Gryffindor Primaries, they supplement and support each other in the context of a larger and often disappointing world. In a bold Gryffindor way (Amanita is a Gryffindor secondary, as well as a primary), they make their own magic, joy, and beauty. Whether in the eclectic, personal space of their home, escaping a hospital in the back of a cab, sharing fries and pot brownies, or kissing in the forest where Angelica once burned down her own home and killed a man doing it, Amanita and Nomi light the scene themselves. They’re self-sufficient and self-motivated and self-soothing, burning from the inside out in ways they recognize in each other.

They approach situations differently in terms of methods– aka the secondary. Amanita is a beauty of a Gryffindor/Gryffindor, a sorting the writers seem to especially adore and respect. She is confrontational, brave, protective, and throws all of herself into everything she does– a set of methods that work out for her every time. She likes attention (“costume opportunity!”) for a good cause. She doesn’t maneuver, hedge, or negotiate when something is wrong in front of her– she tells off her ex-friend for her transphobia at their first Pride, she sets fire to the hospital as a distraction, breaks into the surgeon’s apartment with unconstrained glee, bursts into the aisle of Teagan’s interrupted wedding, and in general dives headfirst into the dangerous plot of Nomi’s new life.

Nomi, though also a Gryffindor primary, is quieter on the secondary. Nearly all her best successes come from years of work and her ability to humbly and truly mean the things she does. Friends hide Nomi and Amanita because of old favors and generosity on their parts. Bug turns over his whole life for them, because once Nomi turned over her whole life for him. There is a sense of fairness here. Talented and generous, Nomi’s yet another super-powered Hufflepuff secondary in the cluster. For a story that so loves the idea of skill-set-swapping and community, it makes sense there’d be an un-self-conscious love of the puff.

tl;dr
the cluster:
Sun - Gryffindor/Hufflepuff (burned)
Nomi - Gryffindor/Hufflepuff
Lito - Slytherin/Slytherin
Will - Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw
Capheus - Gryffindor/Gryffindor
Riley - Gryffindor/Gryffindor (burned)
Kala - Gryffindor/Ravenclaw
Wolfy - Slytherin/Hufflepuff

a selection of non sensates;
Amanita - Gryffindor/Gryffindor
Hernando - Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
Daniella - Slytherin/Hufflepuff
Rajan - Slytherin/Hufflepuff

Star Wars Fic Recs!

and by that I mean mostly focusing on/around Obi-Wan because my bias is showing and I cant be bothered to curb that impulse

(also gonna add in @swpromptsandasks​ who is an absolutely fantastic (not to mention prolific) writer who’d probably have something for everyone)

The Codywan fics

- Hope by lilyconrad - T - 6.7k

The Clone Wars are the backdrop to a quiet and fragile love between a general and a clone commander.

- There Goes The Atmosphere by missmollyetc - E - 45.2k (ongoing) (also a personal fav)

The most dangerous space in the galaxy is the distance between a clone and his general.

- Intertwine by @norcumi - E - 10.4k (also Padmé/Rex)

Padmé survives Mustafar. She and Obi-Wan strike out on their own with the twins, accumulating a far bigger family of clones, Jedi, and assorted troublemakers. Even in the shadow of the Empire, they manage to forge something new.

- Whiplash by dogmatix - T - 13.9k (ongoing) 

The world doesn’t stop just because you’ve won the war, and that goes double when the war might not actually be over.

The Rexobi fics

- Sketch by @peskylilcritter - G - 1k

Obi-Wan undercover as a clone.

- Couple Politics by @punsbulletsandpointythings - G - 2.1k

Rex can handle many things. Most things.

He’s pretty sure he can’t handle this.

- Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed by @dharmaavocado - T - 23.7k

“You’re punishing me, aren’t you?” Anakin said. “I angered you somehow and this whole thing with Obi-Wan is my punishment.”

“Not everything is about you,” said Rex, hauling the guy up. “And, come on, have you seen him in those cardigans?”

“He looks like someone’s sad grandpa,” Anakin said.

In which Obi-Wan returns from four years undercover, Rex called dibs, the entire squad is not helpful, and Anakin hates his life.

(First in the Title of Our Sex Tape series aka that one B99 AU that I never knew I needed until it was in my face)

- Endure the Burning by @norcumi - M - 4.9k 

Captain Rex and General Kenobi both knew any interest they might have for the other was an impossibility. Then they discover that they are not just an impossibility, but something akin to a fairy tale.

- Two Weeks by scarletjedi - T - 14.7k (ongoing)

After yet another confrontation with General Grievous, Generals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, along with Padawan Ahsoka Tano, Captain Rex, and others from Skywaler’s 501st, find themselves crashed on a far-flung planet. With help two weeks away, our heroes must survive on this strange, abandoned land.

- Dancing in the Stars by @charity-angel - G - 9.1k

In which there is a really contrived excuse for Anakin to make an ass of himself, and Rex to be a good ori'vod (and maybe impress a certain other Jedi at the same time).

- In which Rex Doesn’t need his sight to get laid by @the-last-hair-bender (aka emocezi) - E - 2.5k

It had been an accident, or so Echo kept saying. They’d been bored, caught up in another endless round of ‘hurry up and wait’ and they’d been tossing around a flashbang in lieu of playing catch with something more dangerous. Like a grenade.

Of course someone had accidentally pulled the pin out and they’d all hurriedly stuffed their buckets on to protect their eyes. And then, because nothing is ever simple or easy. Captain Rex had walked in the room, sans helmet.

The 501st had, in Rex’s salty opinion, screamed like newborn Krayt Dragons and he’d had approximately three seconds to assess the situation before the world had turned impossibly white and he’d gone blind.

- The Best Cure by inkpenpaper - T - 5.6k 

It was the kind of milksop mission that would have normally been well below the paygrade of either the 501st and the 212th, so it was obvious Command meant it as sort-of leave.

Such a shame Obi-Wan touched something he shouldn’t have.

(Part of the this is not the fic you’re looking for series)

- War Against The Odds by @norcumi - M - 9.7k

Obi-Wan and Rex: from General and Captain in the GAR, to lovers, to survivors and Rebels.

Cody/Obi-Wan/Rex fics

- Waiting (Too Long) by @the-dragongirl - T - 6.4k

Rex waits by the bedside of one of his lovers, waiting (hoping) for him to wake up. Damn the Sith, anyway.

Or - Rex finds proof of the control chips and Palpatine’s treason before Order 66 can be fully carried out, and brings it to Anakin in time. Barely. Unfortunately, he does NOT get there in time to prevent the Order from being sent out to Utapau.

ObiAniDala fics

- Sigh No More by @edenwolfie - E - 131k (ongoing)

Anakin makes slightly better choices, Obi-Wan is a Mess™ and Padmé deserves none of this. AU from Mustafar onward with liberal manipulation of canon to culminate in some angsty, fluffy, domestic fix-it because we all deserve better.

I’m going to fix everything Lucas broke if it kills me.

who cares about your lonely heart by Elenothar - T - 28k

After the Battle for Coruscant, Obi-Wan has wings, a Sith Lord to handle, and a former Padawan who’s still not following a code of conduct for the Jedi. Facing the Sith Lord might be the easy part.

ObiKin fics

- Starbird by @imaginaryanon - T - 8.8k

As far as Anakin’s concerned, Obi-Wan is the picture of a perfect Jedi. or, Anakin thinks he knows everything about Obi-Wan but doesn’t. Anakin thinks a lot of things, actually, and he’s wrong about most of them. Anakin’s whole world view is turned upside down. Obi-Wan is having the time of his life.

- wicked thing by @imaginaryanon - M - 97k (ongoing)

There are rumours of yet another Sith Lord hiding among the Separatists. The Council sends Anakin to investigate. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. or, the story of how Anakin exists in a perpetual state of intense embarrassment, Kenobi is enjoying it a little too much, and everything is, generally speaking, a gigantic mess.

Bail/Obi-wan/Breha fics

- And Yet, I Love You Still by @punsbulletsandpointythings - T - 7k

At 25, Obi-Wan Kenobi met Breha Organa, and fell in love. At 34, Obi-Wan Kenobi met Bail Organa, and fell in love again.

- untinam by @spookykingdomstarlight - G - 2k

“I shouldn’t,” Obi-Wan said, body going rigid at her side. That wasn’t her intention, but she didn’t take the question back. She didn’t contradict him either. “The senator has only just returned. You two should—”

“He missed you, Obi-Wan,” she said, matching him for vehemence. In this, she would fight him. I’ve missed you, she thought, even though you’ve been here all along. “He would be disappointed if you didn’t put in an appearance.”

- As The Thunder Rolls by @the-dragongirl - G - 4k

Breha Organa must face the new reality of the Galactic Empire, both as the Queen of Alderaan, and as a woman. Fortunately, she does not have to face it alone.

Gen fics????

Ghosts of 66 series by dogmatix & @norcumi (because this is Star Wars and whats that without some Pain and Suffering)

Order 66 had thousands of loyal soldiers turning on their commanding officers and shooting them down. A collection of stories about some of these clones and their Jedi, and how death can often be a matter of perspective.

- Legacy by @deadcatwithaflamethrower - M - 18k

“Maul was my pride, my greatest accomplishment aside from the political games that have wrought me control over the Republic. Why should I take a second apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why would you be worth my time?”

“Because I fucking hate you.”

- How Jedi Mourn series by @punsbulletsandpointythings (again, the suffering and pain)

They don’t. Until they can’t help it.

Rogue One fics (because i haven’t actually organised my shit so. i don’t got much for this yet???)

They Have Taken Photographs of Our Footprints in the Dust by @dharmaavocado - T - 4k

"Did you know I’m worth a quarter herd of bantha?”

At Jyn’s sharp inhale, Baze said, without opening his eyes, “My husband is an unrepentant liar. He is barely worth one sick bantha, much less a healthy quarter herd.”

In which Chirrut and Baze have spent more than half their lives together, and Chirrut likes to spin stories of how they were married.

climb, climb by @peradii - N/A - 1k

K-2SO: the droid with existential anxiety and a smart mouth.

Star Wars The Force Awakens fics

the beloved body, compass, polestar by @santiagoinbflat - T - 6k

Poe knows his place in the Resistance, in the galaxy at large–or, at least he thought he did.

But that was before Jakku. That was before Finn.

- tell me about the big bang by @jhholtzmann - M - 37k

There is a part of him that says: you are not human.

- falling, falling by @piyo-13 - T - 9k

Poe makes it out of the First Order’s clutches in one piece, which in and of itself is nothing short of a miracle. Or, well, he says ‘one piece’, but it’s hard to place physical value on mental capacities and anyways, he’s got other things to worry about than dealing with the aftermath of psychic Force-torture.

Such as that cute ex-Stormtrooper who saved Poe’s life, his droid, and most of his jacket.

Unfortunately (fortunately? He’s not really sure) for Poe, Finn knows what Kylo Ren is capable of, and he’s determined to help.

Like Father, Like Daughter - Kakashi Hatake x Reader

Summary : The death of your father hits you full force right in the face, and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to feel ok again…Fortunately for you, a certain Copy Ninja is here to try and cheer you up the best he can. 

Well, I thought I’d just jump into it. Something completely unrelated to DC/Mavel, a bit of love for Kakashi from the anime “Naruto”…I just really wanted to write this piece with the scarecrow. Tell me if you want more of those (I’ve been binge watching Naruto, One Piece and Full  Metal Alchemist particularly lately so…send request about that if you wanna) I’m really REALLY unsure about that one…But hey, I’m posting it anyway. Hope you’ll like it 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

________________________________________________

-Go fuck yourself you fucking stale baguette !!

…Stale baguette ? Where were you even finding your insults ? How was he suppose to punish you for using bad words when you were being so damn hilarious ? Stale baguette. He had to remember that one. 

Jiraiya looked at you tenderly. You. His daughter. A daughter he never even should have had. His daughter than never let anyone walk on her feet. His small little baby girl…who was already sixteen. Where have the years gone ? 

He was staring at you, his eyes full of awe and love, as usual, and couldn’t help but think you looked a lot like your mother right now, mad as Hell and ready to kick some ass. 

Your mother. Tsunade. The only woman he ever truly loved (though he’d never admit it, as the love was unrequited…or so he thought). Most people were quite…surprised to say the least, when they learned that you were the biological daughter of the two famous sennin, Jiraiya, and Konoha’s fifth Hokage, Tsunade Senju. 

You were the result of a very drunken night of passion, the only one they shared…It was Dan’s (your mother “only love”) anniversary of death, and she felt particularly bad. So she went out to drink her sorrow away, and your father went with…The rest is history. 

Nine months later, you were there, a surprised to both of them, but one they gladly accepted. They had a lot of flaws, those two, but being bad parents wasn’t one of them. 

You lived in Konoha until you were six, until your “Uncle” Orochimaru turned dark, betrayed the village, and your parents’ were too heartbroken to stay. Your life was shared between them. A few months with your dad, a few months with your mom…And you loved it. 

Ruffling your hair mischievously, your father lets out a loud laugh and says : 

-You’re a terrible flirt. Not as in you do it too often, as in, you’re bad. Like, really bad. Soooooooo bad.

-Yeah I know ! Like father, like daughter right ? 

-I don’t think I ever called anyone a “fucking stale baguette” while trying to flirt with them…How did that even come up ?

You shake your head vigorously, you have no idea how you ended up insulting the guy you were flirting with…Was it because he kept making stupid remarks about your boobs ? Or maybe your ass ? You couldn’t even remember, that’s how important to you it was. Yeah, you definitely couldn’t care less.

-No, but remember that time you waited an entire day in the public onsen just to see naked women ? 

-…Point taken. 

-Aren’t you suppose to scold me for using bad words anyway ?

-…If I buy you your favorite flavored popsicle, will you shut up and not tell anything to your mother ? 

-Buy me two and we have a deal.  

-Deal.

You nod, and he puts a protective arm around your shoulder (as a reflex, because if he was honest with himself, he knew you didn’t need protection…You were your parents’ daughter, a very powerful kunoichi, bound to even surpass them one day), his giant frame dwarfing your small one…That, you took from your mother. 

It was moments like that that you loved the most with your father. Just silly time with your big idiot of a dad. You two had always been close, ever since the moment you were born. He swore, the first time he held you in his arms, that he would never let anything happen to you…He just didn’t plan on leaving you so soon…

Keep reading

❝ I never asked to be who I am. ❞

Plot: You’re in love with Jaebum but he’s a DemiGod and you’re scared his father could get mad with him becuase he loves a human. 
Scenario inspired by this moodboard: “You don’t even know me”

Pairing: JaebumxReader

Words count: 1,8k+

Genre: Fantasy!Au 

For our -B. I hope you like it cutie; M. ♥

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner! 


“Leave me alone”.

“What is your problem?” He asked with a doubtful expression; “Is there something you’re not telling me?”  

“Jeabum I’m just stressed.” You murmured, your voice were tired and you were avoiding his gaze.  

You felt his gaze upon yourself, was aware that he was following each move of your and it was only a matter of time before he found out what was the real reason of your bad temper.  

You threw yourself on the bed, hiding your face under the pillow and trying not to think about what you had read in those days, completely covertly to Jaebum.  

You wanted to learn more about that world and did not liked what you had discovered.  

“Y/N.. What’s going on? ”  

You felt his hot hand on your belly while his fingers began, idly, stroking your pale skin. That simple contacted provoked you a twinge of pleasure, which sprang through your body leaving you a feeling of peace and tranquility.  

“What’s the matter?” He asked again, leaning his soft lips against your ear.  

He was playing dirty and you now had learned to know him. So as you realized you could not stand up to him in those moments.  

“Nothing Jaebum, the study is stressing me out. That’s it. ” Broken voice and this time not by concern.  

Jaebum’s hand continued its exploration on your skin and a little moan of pleasure left your lips that you began to bite in trying to remain silent.  

His fingers began to caress the fabric of your bra under your t-shirt, so you opened your eyes only to lower your face and watch him carefully. His smile was hypnotic on his face and you wondering when you’d finally found the strength to get used to that beauty.  

“So?”  

“Jaebum… you’re playing dirty. ”  

“I like to do it.” He hummed, raising himself quickly and putting himself on you. He kept shifting on the handheld, as if it was like no effort in doing so, while his leg tucked into yours and widened them, leaving the space to get comfortable. His body was completely adherent to yours and the heat that you felt from his skin being bestowed on you, making you tremble visibly.  

“Jaebum”  

“Tell me, baby.” His low voice struck your skin near your ear; “You know you can talk about everything.” He added, touching your lobe with the tip of his tongue.  

“Please.. I don’t want to talk about it. ”  

A groan of disapproval left his mouth, while with his teeth started to nibble your lobe and a few moments later came down on your neck. The part he loved to torture the most; since you two had started that strange but intense relationship.  

His tongue caressed the points where the teeth were slightly sunk into your flesh, while your body started to react with no more control.  

“Jae.”  

“I’m just worried about you.”  

“It’s okay, I swear.” That was a lie, but you didn’t want to worry him too; “But this won’t help me. I should study.. ”  

“Mmh.. study can wait. ”  

And it would wait.  

                                 ___

“Your screams have been up in my room, Y/N”.  

Your best friend had no problem getting noticed certain things, and at that time your wish was to disappear. Your face was completely bordeaux with shame, so you sank your head behind the book, trying somehow to avoid her questioning.  

“Y/N.. How many times did you do sex tonight? ”  

“I haven’t counted…”  

“BUT THAT GUY IS INSATIABLE!” She yelled upset, making turn three students and in unison, they told her to keep quiet.  

You, on the other hand, were even more embarrassed and would have killed her.  

More than insatiable, Jaebum had a different strength and it was all due to his nature as a Demigod. You know how he kept his strength with you because he is always scared to hurt you and it was one of the many things that you liked.  

“Could you concentrate on studying?” You mumbled, lifting slightly your eyes; “You know in a library it’s a habit to study ”  

“Sorry sorry… It’s that… Jeez… I envy you a lot. ”  

“Believe me. Right now I don’t envy me for anything. ”  

Your best friend’s gaze moved towards the direction in which yours was fixed.  

There was a man in his fifties, incredibly fascinating, looking right towards you.  

And you always hoped to avoid that day but no one had heard your prayers and had put you in front of one of the biggest problem in your life.  

“Do you know him?”  

You nodded, closing the book and murmuring to her not to wait but to run straight at home. You did not know what was going to happen and did not want to expose the true nature of Jaebum arguing with his father in front of your best friend.  

                                       ___

His look was severe, almost gruff, while you sat on a bench sheltered by a large willow tree that completely hides the view from the outside.  

You were looking at him, sitting on the side of the bench well away from him. He aroused fear and you think it is normal. He is Zeus not a man as others.  

Yet you could not believe you were face to face with the father of all Gods because until a few months earlier you even believed in the existence of those Gods.  

“What do you want from me?”  

“I knew from my drifter and disrespectful son that he has a girlfriend. You. ”  

You gulped, looking into his eyes, hoping that the conversation did not turn … In your death, for example.  

The voices of some girls, cheerful and carefree, came from behind the tree and made you jump so much that his big hand was instantly on your wrist, preventing you from falling from the bench. Immediately you freed your wrist from his grip, and thank him with a slight nod of your head.  

You did not like being touched, especially not from a stranger that might kill you at any moment.  

“You want to punish him for this? For being in love with a human? ” You asked with a small voice; “Don’t hurt him. He doesn’t deserve that, he’s a good guy. ”  

“Good guy. He is a Demigod and doesn’t behave as such. ” The contempt in his voice was a lot and you feel a pinch of nuisance, perfectly hidden behind your neutral expression.  

“You don’t even know him. You’re always on that mountain, watching us from above, without the slightest regard for his life. You know nothing about him, so why should he simply please you? He’s raised as a human, not as a God. ”  

“But it’s what he is.”  

“Only for a half part. ” You corrected him, emphasizing those two words with vehemence.  

Your meeting was not going well and you could see perfectly, even just by looking at his eyes.  

“He can’t be with you.”  

“Why?”  

“Why? Like you said, you are a simple human. ” He struck with a hint of sarcasm, making you feel useless and inadequate.“ He will have to follow in the footsteps that I dra–”  

“Drawn to him. Still, father, I don’t have any intention to follow your path. ”  

You’ve never enjoyed the sudden appearances of Jaebum, always ready to scare you, but at that moment he seemed almost a gift of fate. Immediately you approached him, by apologizing with your eyes while he caressed your left cheek with his thumb.  

“I’m sorry ..”  

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Stay behind me, I got him. ” He reassured you with one of his beautiful smiles;“ You don’t have to be afraid. ”  

Right away you hid behind him, laying your hands on his hips and moving slightly your head to the side. You were still curious to see what would happen even if you were extremely scared for Jaebum. You do not want something happens to him, not because of you.  

“Father.”  

“Son.”  

“I would be happy if the next time you come on Earth, you let go of my girl.” He started saying with calm, emotionless tone. “Because bother me that someone bothering her while I cannot be with her.”  

“You know that this relationship shouldn’t exist.”  

“I never asked to be who I am.”  

“Jaebum… Don’t make him angry, please.. ” You murmured into his ear, clutching the shirt to keep him in any way. “He is a God.”  

“Don’t worry, baby.”  

Zeus’ gaze rested on you two again, starting to weigh what they could see.  

You lifted your gaze, meeting his stern eyes, and feeling an icy chill of fear throughout your spine. You hid even more behind Jaebum’s body, who seemed to sense your fear and for this he moved most fast, covering you totally.  

“Don’t touch her. ”  

“I won’t.” Zeus said after a few minutes of silence; “Maybe, thinking about it and seeing how you protect her, this relationship could bring its pluses.”  

“Then… so won’t you do anything to Jeabum??” You asked in a surge of courage, in the hope of a positive answer.  

The man shook his head, smiling slightly but continued to be incredibly intimidating. Jaebum, you could feel under the touch of your hands, remained tense and watched his father defiantly.  

“Jaebum”. You were worried, your voice the clear symbol of your nervousness.  

“Promise me you won’t interfere.” Jaebum said with calm, looking his father into the eyes.  

“I’ll not touch her. But you should remember who you are. ”  

“Don’t worry, you’re always here to let me remember. ” The sarcasm was obvious in those few words and you felt, even more, fear looking his father.  

Jaebum turned to you, looking at you with sweetness. “Stop instigating him.” You mimed with your soft lips but his answer was an amused wink, returning to watch his father much calmer.  

“Promise me.”  

“You don’t trust my words?”  

“On balance, father, you don’t know me like I don’t know you. So yes, I don’t trust your words.”  

“None of us are going to hurt her.”  

“You better, father.”  

The man greeted you with a nod and then in a sudden flash of lightning disappeared completely, leaving you breathless.  

So it was that way that gods disappeared? You did not know, but without asking leaned your head against Jaebum’s shoulder, sighing with relief.  

“Did he hurt you?”  

“No Jae.”  

“That’s what you were worried about? You were afraid he could hurt me if he knew about us? ”  

Your silence was a befitting answer for him, so he turned and squeezed you into his arms. They were welcoming, so you fixed your body in that embrace. There was calm at that moment, while he continued to caress your hair leaving it to slip through his fingers.  

“You have to tell me everything, all right?” He ordered, having a sweet tone. “You don’t have to hide anything, especially what’s bothering you.”  

“Mmh …”  

“Don’t be like that with me, Y/N I love you and I just want to make you happy, Gods and Demi-God excluded. I don’t care about them. ”  

“I don’t want you to get hurt because I’m a simple human..”  

“But you’re the only one who can destroy me, Y/n. No Gods can hurt me as much as you can do. ”

So I read STFF last night...

Amazon is freaking amazing. I got my copy a day early and spent all of last night reading it. Despite some poor reviews and negative reactions to the advanced copies, I actually really enjoyed this book. I read a ton of fanfic and books. When I enjoy a story, I get sucked in and will read non-stop to finish it (time/life permitting). Other than dinner and watching Dustin Lance Black’s “When We Rise” last night, I read STFF. I was compelled to take notes throughout. I ended up with three pages of notes.

If you’re the general audience, I think you will enjoy this book. It’s funny, raw, tender, and heartbreaking. Coming from a fandom perspective, you’ll get it. You may see yourselves in it. The character development for the 4 teenagers could have been better, he devoted a chapter to each one and further glimpses into them as the story went on, but for the most part, not enough. I think my fave depiction of one of the kids was the trans kid, Sam - that’s going to help a lot of kids out there. Maybe he was trying to keep the book shorter (it’s 295 pages) to keep the average teens attention span, but tbh, these kids are reading Harry Potter and other much longer novels so I think he could have expanded that more.

If you’re not a Chris Colfer fan who’s paid attention to his life, you may not get any of the autobiographical nature of this book. However, make no mistake, he pulls directly from his life and life experiences and it’s blatant. I definitely have a clearer perspective on Chris and the way he views life, his Glee years, and fandom. He’s screaming to be heard and understood. Please don’t read into this thinking he hates his fans, that’s just not true. He loves and appreciates his fans, however, certain fans and fandom culture scares the hell out of him. He’s never quite understood us. I don’t take it with malicious intent, it just is what it is. Obviously we cannot empathize unless we’ve been in his shoes, but we get a better understanding through this book.

Chris wrote this as an exercise of “plausible deniability” just like when he wrote the Rachel/PR bits into his episode. Of course he’s going to claim this is all fiction and has very little basis in reality, we know better. Definitely go buy it and check it out.

There are many obnoxious things I found within, you may or may not agree with me, but do not come hatin’ into my inbox. I won’t be entertaining you today.

Under the cut (slight spoilers ahead, but I do not mention Cash’s secret) are the things that stood out for me:

Keep reading

5x09 review-One Fettered Slave

I can’t believe we’ve come to this point.

One episode before the final epilogue and it feels so surreal-i can’t even begin to imagine  how it must’ve been for the people that have sticked to this show for 4 years.

Ep 9 was what i imagined it to be: quick paced, action packed and extremely emotional.

I was scared about the analogy between the Helena moments and the general mythology arc cause they had to show a lot of things- especially after Siobhan’s death- but they balanced it well.

let’s analyze the different thematics:

  • The Funeral

Siobhan’s funeral  started with Sarah speaking . In an episode that is focused on another character i think the writers did a good choice not showing Sarah’s vulnerability.

She’s suddenly the pillar of the family and eveyone is expecting directions from her. She has to be the strong one there’s no other way. Her grief and feelings are not her priority right now  so she won’t break down. Not in front of Kira, not in front of everyone.

Sarah’s grown so much.This moment says it all

what am i supposed to do?

she can’t afford losing her child as well. She’s the reason she’s keeping it together after all. So she stays with her and comforts her. Something Ms S had done all those years when Sarah was absent.

I also adored the symbolism of her wearing her mother’s jacket.

Sarah taking responsibility, lifting the weights of this family

also congrats for letting Tatiana without make up in her  portrayal of Sarah (or rather the “no make up” makeup ya know) cause it made her emotional chaos more humane… her eyes said it all..

also about her breaking down- i believe we’re gonna see her grieve the way she’s supposed to after everything is finally over. Last episode is Sarah centric so it totally fits to have her moment in the epilogue.

What i didn’t like from the funeral scene was the singing at the beginning, which i found anticlimactic..it would be much better if we could just hear Sara and Felix speaking with no other sound in the background..

Also the fact that 4 days after S’s death they could walk and talk in a house that is a murder scene was totally unrealistic..Police had to be all over the place investigating and all…

Unless Art handled the situation in a way..but still a plot hole is a plot hole

  • Team working together

Cosima,Felix, Art, Hellwizard, Scott, Rachel ok what a pleasant suprise to see everyone working together. I loved the fact that supporting actors got the chance to actually help the ledas and be useful. Each one helped in their own field.

Cosima helped with the Dyad information and Scotty-Hell with the security system (even if it was kinda weak to hack the security system with such convienience-i’m bypassing that lol)

Even Rachel helped!! Rachel!!! My only complaint was Alison’s minimum participation in this but i get that given the circumstances her involvement  would be extremely difficult

Should i talk about Art??

Cause everything

screams

SACRIFICE

and all this time i ‘ve been crazy rambling about how his chances of surving are veeeery  low…. ep 9 built his exodus cause the final episode will be Leda/Sarah Centric…so be prepared guys…

i get Ebro’s schedule..i trully do..and i was fine with Sardinia..i was fine with Geneva as well cause there was a reason behind it plotwise but we’ve come to the point where there isn’t even an explanation about this…

they didn’t clarify the reason she left… cause it doesn’t make sense when Siobhan’s funeral was 4 days after the gallery party…there wasn’t a reason good enough to justify her absence that’s why the writers didn’t give one…they prefered to let the fans decide which reason was good enough…let’s be real though that was sloppy..and as much as i love orphan black i’m gonna point out  it’s weakening points as well.

  • Coady+ Mark

So Mark died absolutely clueless…his death matched Ira’s death, both manipulated by their creators, hoping for a cure that never existed in the first place.Too bad that there wasn’t any building up to bring tension and to make us care about those characters… so this scene felt kinda flat at least for me…i believe the reason behind this was cause ob writers didn’t want to make Coady a grey character…. well i for once celebrated her death after this scene

wait it is confirmed that Coady is dead right? I mean Helena beat the shit out of her so it would be  impossible to zombie out ?? or should i be worried??

  • PT + Rachel!Sarah

oh god PT without his wig is like a bulb with ears lmao

anyway so i loved these 2 together…this is the first time Sarah meets John am i right?

also congrats to the props team and the level of detail they use in each scene…i liked that Sarah didn’t wear the same patch Rachel wears…

a++ to the dialogue about PT perving out on Rachel because in that way Sarah put herself on Rachel’s shoes and actually saw for the first time how they were monitoring her sister and what actually means complete lack of privacy…

also both Susan and PT seem to have a perplexed image as to what a father/mother figure looks like

you don’t fuck your ‘son’/ or watch you ‘daughter’ masturbate and then call them “son/daughter” lol

but it gave me pleasure that Rachel never actually called PT “father” and that’s how Sarah got exposed..

the moment she cut him with the knife i was like “yaaaas finish him lol”


HELENA

  • FLASHBACKS

omg??

don’t get me wrong the kid was very good/ super talented and all

but how could they do this???

i mean it was SO.FUCKING.OBVIOUS that this isn’t the face of a leda clone you couldn’t concentrate on anything else!

at least i couldn’t! Especially when 2 episodes before they used canonically Cynthia!

i mean

??????

it defies logic?? there’s no excuse??

they could have dubbed the ukranian parts i don’t care if little Cynthia couldn’t play that good that was so wrong in so many levels… it had the “Spongebob takes a bath in the sea” logic lol

and it was really such a shame cause the flashbacks were so amazing..

first of all i loved the whole “pleasures of the flesh are unacceptable in a religious environment” thematic cause it adresses real social issues like the austerity and fake puritanism of social institutions.

the reason behind Helena’s bleached hair was a nice touch even though little Helena should also have some  burn marks after this…we got to know why she has those pink shades under her eyes as well so that was good..

as far as to why her hair is still blonde after all this time…well i choose to patch this plot hole by believing that Helena did this to herself again and again..she bleached/dyed them as a sign of punishment, self harm  and guilt cause that was the way she was raised- a mouthpiece and killing machine of others..

the art department did a brilliant job with the dollhouse and the correlation between Helena’s fixation with dolls back in her Rachel assassination attempt

Tomas took her and hide her the fact  that she’s a copy..she grew up in the illusion that she was special..that she was the original..in fact Rachel and Helena fantasized about the same thing and it is so fascinating to see how they are 2 different sides of the same coin…

  • Most Heartbreaking moment

Oh god this moment…

what kind of mother could you possibly make?

jesus Tatiana each time you give more and more, i haven’t seen an actor as committed and devoted as you are, you deserve all the praise girl woah

Coady found Helena’s weakness and it is not how she smells, looks or talks…it’s about her capacity of giving a future more bright and beautiful to her children than the one her younger self  had to endure…

and at the end of the day she’s willing to take the bait..  it’s either freedom or death…exactly like Rachel..there’s no middle ground..she won’t leave her children become experiments so that’s why i find super important that we finally get a Rachel Helena scene…there’s a high probability Rachel won’t make it in the finale so at least lets have a last glorious scene with the 3 of them as they try to escape…or so i hope…

  • THE TWINS

YEEEEEESSSSS

all this crazy rambling about this being a Sarah-Helena season finally came true! Everything came full circle and this moment was SO important like you guys don’t understand…

Sarah finally made up for Helena..she gave her her blood to keep her alive…she put each and everyone of her friends and family searching for her, she made her a priority- drowning her grief -cause she couldn’t lose another one..especially Helena.

And now she will help her give birth..she will be there for her, protect her, give her life even..even tho after the obspoilers fiasco my theory now is that Art is gonna save Sarah…because it is super symbolic .. it would be his second chance and his redemption after losing Beth.. now he’s gonna do it right. Idk it is so foreshadowing… i wonder what Rachel’s role is gonna be..i sure hope she’s the one that’s gonna kill PT but who knows at this point.


Ep 9 set the mood for a very powerful ob series finale..Helena’s inner world was raw and pure and it’s going to  parallel  Sarah’s  final  gut-wrenching episode.The twins are going to set the epilogue and i trully hope their journey will be as magical and  satisfying as this show was  for all of us.

feels just like the first time (frank castle)

Originally posted by gradytraviis

(omg this got so long but what can i say……i am a sucker for that sweet, sappy frank castle. i always headcanoned him as kinda mushy and soft, and when he gets a crush one someone, it’s sooooo sugary-sweet. he can’t stop himself. he’s a big lover!! i love him so much oh my god.)

(warnings: food, swearing, an excess of fluffiness and sweetness)

(part one here, but not super necessary for context! it’s just frank on a date with the girl that caught his eye :’D)


The second she arrives, Frank jumps to his feet, carnations held in a deathgrip by his side. His face flickers between his attempt at stoicism and a smile, because, God, she looks so pretty.

Keep reading

—who cares | 09 (m)

pairing kim taehyung x oc / kim seokjin x oc
genre/warnings angst, adultery, mature themes, sexual talk
words— 7,740

:: summary— what happens when Taehyung falls for someone who’s already taken? Can he control his feelings or will they take over and render him powerless? In the end is it all her fault or his…?

note— inspired by Dean’s album 130: trbl

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 ::05 :: 06 :: 07 :: 08 :: 09 :: 10 :: 11

Keep reading

3

sweet creature ( bakery! childhood friends! au)

To put it in a simple way, Jeon Jungkook was Jimin‘s first love, or like Jimin would dare to say, he was the one he ever loved. Unfortunatelly, at the sweet age of sixteen, Jimin’s parents  noticed his feelings for the younger boy who lived next door too. It was a small town, people lived to gossip about each other’s lifes. “Did you see, the Park’s older son?” “Yeah, such a shame, such a beautiful kid…” “What a waste.” “He always was a little weird, I’ve seen the way he looked at the Jeon’s younger kid!” “Yeah, they’re really attached to each other’s guts since the Park’s moved in.”                   

Jimin’s parents, of course, didn’t hesitate to send him to study abroad, in America, where he should forget the light kisses exchanged in late stargazing   nights at Guk’s yard, the smell of the strawberry pies, his best friend round eyes, the lovely words that came out of each others mouths when no one else could hear. Nine years later, and Jimin still could remember every single detail of his pastel youth, where he felt love at his fingertips and had a home.

However, Jimin wasn’t the one who gave up. Jungkook was.

He sent the younger so many letters, yet, Jungkook never awnsered a single one. The letters contained his adress, sitll, he never appeared, never called. When Jimin came back to South Korea for a holiday, at this time he was already at college, the Jeons had moved out to God-knows-where. 

 He decided that it was the time he should give up too.

-

The first time Jungkook saw Jimin starring at his freshly baked croissants in the shop window his heart made this weird twist and he found himself hiding behind the counter. It coudn’t be. But it was, after so many years…

When their parents decided their friendship wasn’t so beautiful anymore and Jimin was gone, Jungkook was the one left behing at the town’s judment. It was hell, and suddenly, strawberry pies - Jimin’s favorite -  didn’t taste so good anymore. He didn’t need any other punishment besides Jimin’s absence, everything was lifeless. He didn’t saw when the first letter arrived, or the eight, or any other until the day he decided to leave some stuff in the basement. He cried at every single word from the boy he loved and his parents had hidden from him. And for this reason, on the following month the Jeons had moved to Seoul, and the letters were long burnt to ashes.

When he made the money he needed, he moved to America. Opened a small bakery. But not even once belived he could see his Jiminie hyung again. 

He didn’t believed, but he hoped.

So, every morning he saw the boy, now a man, always at the same time, starring at the shop window of his small bakery. Never once coming inside. Never glancing at the guy trembling behind the kitchen door.

-

His morning started just like any other one. He woke up, fed his cat, brushed his teeth, dressed up to work and left his apartment in a rush, he crossed the street and walked passing by the bakery expecting to see the same freshly baked croissants, donuts and breads that made his mouth water. But starring at the window shop his eyes widen at the view of a beautiful strawberry pie, just like the ones he fought so hard to forget.

This day, he promised himself that he would have a bite after his shift at the office.

-

When Jimin entered the bakery it was warm, but not like a weather thing, more like a heartwarming thing. And at this time, he felt stupid, he should have stopped by before. A nice lady was behind the counter, she took his order and asked if he would like to take it home. Jimin said he would have it there.

When Jimin had his first bite of the strawberry pie he dropped the fork. He knew. 

He wasn’t imagining it.

Jungkook.

He would reconize this taste even if he had burnt his tongue. 

It tasted like sweet love.

“Hyung?”

And just like that, Jimin finally returned home.

                                             …                  


**prompt highly based on this song and 4 o’clock.

Starchild, 2.

Pairing: Park Jimin / Reader

Genre: Bad Boy!Jimin, Fluff + Slight Angst

Rating: PG-15

Warnings: None.

Summary: It’s been one hell of a night, hasn’t it?

Count: 3200 words.

Note: Part two already? Dear lord.

STARCHILD

one - two

OUT ON A LIMB

Jimin watched her frolic in the sand from his motorcycle, basking with yet another cigarette as his pocketed hand fumbled with a lighter. She had discarded her jacket upon the half wall, left her shoes near him and unbuttoned her uniform to reveal a low-cut tank top. All in all, she was free and there was never a better sight than the one right in front of him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hi! my depression's been acting up lately and I've been having a really tough time. I know you've written similar things before but i could really use a comfort fic. Most likely with lots of hugs and honest feelings and talking. Thank you and keep up the great work!

“I wanted to,” she’d half choked out, half snapped. Wanted to tell her. About the cheating.

And she meant it.

Sort of.

She’d wanted to tell her because Alex had said she didn’t want there to be any secrets between them.

Secrets.

Ha.

Secrets, like Maggie’s father. Like cheating on Emily.

Like the senior guys on the football field when she was a freshmen – because she was fourteen, she was a freshman, and a tiny one at that.

Like getting spit at in the street.

Like her depression.

Like her anxiety.

Like her tendency to bottle everything up until she just bursts.

Sometimes – well, once – by cheating.

Usually – much more than once – by punching, by drinking, by punishing herself, by pushing people away (hence the cheating).

She’d wanted to tell her.

But telling her would be a can of worms, a bombshell of damage, that she’s terrified will make Alex run. Will make Alex look at her like…

Will make Alex lose that spark in her eye, that smile, that softness. For her.

But when Alex shows up at her door – “Maggie, come on, I know you’re home” – Maggie has to text her instead of call out to her, because she can’t open her mouth right now. Doesn’t have the energy for it.

Barely has the energy to move her fingers over her phone’s screen.

Come in. I gave you the key for a reason.

Alex is in faster than Maggie even thought the text would send, and her eyes are swooping over Maggie’s body, scanning for damage, for injuries, for pain.

But it’s all inside.

“Maggie, what happened? You weren’t answering your texts, your captain said you called in sick but you weren’t sick this morning – “

Maggie just looks up and Maggie just stares, and tries not to let her chin tense, her lip wobble. But they do.

“Can I touch you?” Alex is asking, because Alex doesn’t miss a thing.

Maggie nods and she sighs with unexpected relief when suddenly she’s enveloped in Alex’s arms, when suddenly she’s gripping at her like she’ll drown if she lets go, and she will, she will, she will.

“I just hate it sometimes, Alex,” Maggie chokes, hating herself for her weakness, for her whining, for her patheticness.

“Hate what, Maggie?” Alex asks, trying to pull back so she can look at Maggie’s face, but Maggie doesn’t let her, because she can’t see those perfect eyes, that perfect face, right now, because seeing would mean Alex seeing her, and she is messy and she is a mess and she is damaged and she is damage itself.

“Life,” Maggie chokes, and she feels Alex tense.

She braces for goodbye, she braces for ableist shaming, she braces for this is too much, you’re too much, you’re not worth it, you’re not worth anything.

But she should know Alex better, because Alex just hugs her closer.

Alex just turns her face to kiss her temple. Alex just strokes her hair and whispers sweet nothings, sweet everythings, into her ear as she starts to shake, as she starts to break, as she starts to let the bottle burst through her tear ducts, through her chest wracking, through her hands grabbing, holding, needing.

“Did something happen? Or does this… do you get this feeling a lot?”

Maggie’s stomach churns, because she knows what Alex is asking.

Did something happen, or are you crazy?

“I’m not crazy,” she defends against an attack that isn’t there, and she feels Alex shake her head, and Alex succeeds in pulling back this time, in taking Maggie’s face between her hands and making sure she’s looking into Alex’s warm, warm eyes.

“Depression isn’t crazy, Maggie. Or whatever word fits for you. And hell, if anyone has a monopoly on crazy in this relationship, it’s me. You should see my rap sheet with the DEO shrink.”

“Psychiatrists don’t have… rap sheets, Alex, that’s not… how it works.”

“But it made you smile.”

“Nerd.”

“Shrink says I have BPD. And PTSD. All the acronyms. Kara has a few, too, but those are for her to tell you about if she wants – my point is, I get it, Maggie. I hate life so much sometimes I just… were you afraid? To tell me?”

Maggie sniffs and lifts her hand to her face, but Alex stops her and wipes her nose with her own sleeve, and Maggie has never been so moved.

“Well you know how much I love talking about myself, Danvers.”

“Maggie, I meant what I said. I’m here to help you heal. Even if there are things you can’t heal from. Even if there are things you’re always gonna to experience. Okay?”

“But why? I… I have zero emotional intelligence and I attach super quickly – hell, if I ever went to therapy they’d probably knock me with a BPD diagnosis of my own – and I do stupid things like cheat and lie about my parents and how do you know, Alex? That I won’t cheat on you after five years? Because you want to take the next steps with me, because I can’t handle it and I bottle things up and I lash out because I don’t know how else to end things, how else to destroy everything? Because that’s what I do, Alex. I destroy things. People. I destroy people.”

Alex strokes her hair and she takes a long, quiet breath, and she kisses her temple and she pulls her back into a soft, passionate hug.

“I don’t know, Maggie. I don’t know that you won’t cheat on me after five years because I want to take the next step with you. But I do know that we’ve taken a lot of steps already, and you’ve already stopped leaving the house and going to the couch when you need to walk away. And I know that you’re wrong. About yourself. You don’t destroy things, Maggie. You maybe don’t always make the best decisions, but you know what I see? I see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen trying so hard to navigate so much pain. And sometimes, you’re gonna make mistakes. I will, too. You’re human, Maggie. And I love you for it. I love you for how human you remind me that I am. Because I forget, too. So maybe… maybe we can remind each other?”

“You… love me?”

It’s Maggie that’s pulling back so they can make eye contact now, Maggie with the wide eyes and stilled breath, Maggie framing Alex’s face with trembling hands.

“Yeah, Sawyer. I love you. I’m soft on you. That okay with you?”

“Only if it’s okay that I love you back.”

“That’s more than okay, Maggie. So much more than okay. And you’re gonna be, too. I promise.”

anonymous asked:

scenario with xanxus and hibari falling in love with the person they were forced to have an arranged marriage with

Xanxus
You always knew you were just going to be used as a bargaining chip, just an easy way to advance your father’s position. You weren’t from a particularly strong family, you were actually pretty tiny, and not all that great. Your father was a bit of a coward and everyone knew it, so why not just marry her off to the highest bidder? You had come to terms with that ages ago.

It was pretty unlucky, though, that your father was able to find someone like Xanxus. You certainly didn’t know the details, didn’t know what in the world he did or who he paid off, but you had been informed that it hadn’t been an easy sell. Apparently your fiancé hadn’t been too thrilled. You weren’t either, but you certainly weren’t throwing a piss fit. But damn, you weren’t happy. You’d heard the rumors about him, knew what he was like with woman. And you were mostly annoyed with the fact that he’d probably be free to fuck around after you were married and you wouldn’t. Stupid double standards, ones that you weren’t going to let happen. Cause fuck, you don’t want to do this either!

You two were married within the week. Bam, boom, done. Your father saw you off and was glad to see you gone. It was a good deal for him, after all, able to get rid of you and increase his standing in one swift shot. You wished you didn’t have to actually have the whole stupid ceremony, but it had been necessary- appearances were very important. Xanxus really didn’t speak to you practically at all that entire night. He drank a ton of wine and passed out in your bed. Of course, not before ripping off every bit of clothing he had had on.

The next few weeks were weird. Neither of you was very happy with the situation you’d been put in, and you were a little annoyed at the fact that you found you got along with your husband fairly well. You had similar interests, and though he wasn’t incredibly talkative you could hold a conversation with him pretty easily. But he annoyed you to death with the way he didn’t even try to hide the woman he was still sleeping with. It was actually getting on your nerves a lot more than it ought to.

One day you had needed to clean your guns, your pride and joy, two PP2000, so you sat down in your shared bedroom to do it. Cleaning your guns was the worst part of having them, though, it was such an involved process. You had to unscrew parts just to get inside and it was just a pain. But it needed to be done. And you loved these guns, they were good close range and they fit perfectly in your hands, so they deserved to be clean.

You didn’t even look up when the door flung open, and you had begun speaking before it had even had time to slam against the wall. “Find a different room, there are more than enough in this castle.”

“I didn’t realize this room was occupied,” the girl Xanxus had brought back said, sounding both haughty and displeased.

It was a shame, if they’d shown up five minutes later you would have been finished and done and wouldn’t have had to deal with this. “What the fuck are you even doing?” Xanxus asked, and from the genuinely confused tone to his voice it occurred to you he probably hadn’t even known you knew how to shoot a gun, much less take it apart to clean it. Unfortunately not surprising, you thought, as you were both a woman and from such a weak family.

“Come on now, husband, I’d think that such a great boss like yourself would know what the inside of a gun looked like?” you said.

You’d finally got the last screw on, and you slid the magazine back in and gave it a smack, giving a quick check that the safety was on. You rose to your feet, keeping your weapons pointed down as you stalked out of the room. As you passed the two of them you said, “I’m staying at a friend’s tonight, so have fun.”

Xanxus didn’t trust her or that stupid smile she’d given him. And he found himself too agitated to even give this dumb cunt a fuck, so with very little kindness he pushed her out of his room and slammed the door in her face. And then immediately had to open it again. He pushed past her roughly before stomping down the hallway. He needed to find out where she’d gone. His stupid wife. So he barked orders at the first people he saw to go follow her.

He didn’t know why he was so angry. It didn’t make sense. What should he care what she was doing? It’s not like he chose to marry her or anything. But the thought of her with another man made him seethe with rage. And no, he absolutely didn’t see the blatant hypocrisy since he’d literally just been about to screw some random chick right in front of her. In fact, now that he thought about it, why hadn’t she been more angry about that? She hadn’t seemed to care at all and it pissed him off.

When he was told that they’d seen her going into some guy’s apartment he was seeing red. He grabbed his guns and left. Got a little lost on the way there, that certainly didn’t improve his mood. It had now been two hours since she’d left and he didn’t hesitate to kick that door open. The sound of the wood splintering beneath his boot seemed to echo in the empty living room.

He could hear her behind the bedroom door, voice urgent as she said something he couldn’t make out to whoever it was she was there with. He had thrown the door open and shot the guy in less than a heartbeat, a clean shot through his left eye, blood splattering back against the wall, creating an almost pretty starburst of red against the plain white wallpaper.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with other men?” he spat, he was sure she could see the fire in his eyes. “You’re my fucking wife.“

She had a gun pointed at his head, a thin sheen of sweat on her naked body. The sight turned him on way more than it probably should, but he didn’t care. “If it’s okay for you to do it, it should be okay for me.”

“I didn’t do shit.” He took a step towards her and she took a step back. She wouldn’t shoot him, he knew she wasn’t stupid. So by the time he’d gotten to her she’d backed herself into the corner, and he roughly grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, the gun slipping from her grasp and falling at her feet. He kicked it across the room, leaning in so close she was sure to feel his breath on her skin. “You’re supposed to be mine, and I’ll make sure you remember that.“

Hibari
They had never warned you about this, and it had seemingly come from nowhere. Being married to one of the Vongola Decimo’s guardians. You were more confused by why this other person agreed. You didn’t know the details, but apparently it was a kind of punishment for him. Maybe he’d really messed up some kind of mission, or he wasn’t doing enough for the family. But your own family was fairly powerful, but mostly they had a lot of money. Marrying you had a lot of benefits, just like marrying him got her parents in good with the Vongola.

Your parents were planning on using you as a spy, that much you were clued in on. They needed information on one of the most powerful Famiglias in Europe, if not the world, and you were easy to sneak in. It was all about the timing, and it was good timing.

Your marriage was done quickly, and Hibari was surprisingly accommodating. Though he wasn’t happy about it either, and he wasn’t very talkative, he was at least not treating you as if you didn’t exist. Honestly, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought it was gonna be. Plus, you didn’t know he had a pet bird, and they were just so cute! His box animal too was very adorable, and they both seemed to like you.

Honestly, their company was very much appreciated, since Hibari wasn’t around very often. He was always off working, and he hadn’t ever let you into his office. You chewed your lip as you stared at the closed door. You knew you had to get in there, there had to be a wealth of information your family could use, but you were finding the more time you spent here the less you wanted to do this.

Hibari had been nothing but kind to you. He hadn’t pressured you into anything simply because you were technically married, and he’d all around made you feel welcome here. Even if he did have security cameras hidden in all the places he thought you’d never see, he hadn’t done anything to you.

But your parents were getting… They needed that information, they said, and you should’ve had the chance to find something by now. Anything. They were pressuring you more and more into taking stupid risks, it didn’t matter, they just needed you to get what they wanted. And you were torn. You wanted to remain loyal to your family, to the parents who’d raised you and taught you everything, but you didn’t want to betray Hibari, or the Vongola.

“Is something the matter?”

You jumped at the voice, turning to find your husband behind you. And all you could think was ‘He knows, he knows, he knows!’ He’d kill you in a second, you knew that. But you’d have to make the first move. “No, I’m fine.”

He stared silently at you for a heartbeat, scrutinizing you, trying to figure out what you were planning. At least, that’s what your stress addled brain thought. “If there is, you can feel free to come to me about it. We’re married now, after all.”

He was giving you the option to come clean. That had to be what he was doing. Prove your loyalty to the Vongola and confess that your family was full of traitors plotting to take down his boss. You almost did, but you bit back the words before they could come out. “I’ll remember that, thank you.”

You didn’t see much of him that week. Your parents were becoming hard to continue lying to. No, you still hadn’t learned anything, you’d say. Again, and again, and again. You got a message that day. Your father needed to speak with you. Urgently. In person. So you snuck out of the house and went to the location you’d been given. But nobody was there. And you could feel the bile rising in your throat. Cause something wasn’t right, this didn’t make sense. You searched the warehouse, and finally found it. A note taped to one of the doors leading outside. Not the one you’d come in from. We don’t need you. We’re moving ahead with the plan without your help.

Hibari wasn’t startled when the door to his office was flung open. He’d seen her enter from the cameras, in some kind of hurry. She was breathing heavily, and her face was speckled with blood. It didn’t look to be her own. “Hibari,” she gasped, “They’ve found a way in. They’re going to do it.”

They’d known about this for months. They’d known that ______’s marriage proposal was all just a ploy to get in good with the Vongola. And they’d known that _____ was never expected to survive, a sacrificial lamb. If only she’d played her part correctly, that was.

But he was surprised to find that she’d not only refused to play her parent’s game, she’d even come back to warn them. She was lucky she’d picked the correct side. He had found that he wasn’t really that keen on killing her. He’d admit it, to himself at least, that he’d found he’d grown quite fond of her. She was strong, and loyal, and she didn’t get on his nerves.

He finally rose from his seat, walking slowly across the room to her. She looked scared, he could see she was tensing up, ready for some kind of attack that wasn’t going to come. She lowered her eyes to the floor, and the look of utter confusion on her face when he patted her gently on the head was almost funny. “Good job, herbivore.”

Moonlight Reign Ch. 4

A/N: This was rough to write while I’m all busy, so it’s not my best. However, I hope you enjoy and give me feedback!

Originally posted by ky-ngsoo

Word Count: 3.2k

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Chapter Summary: You reunite with someone with undertones of betrayal as your place in Bangtan is solidified

There’s nothing uglier than a person’s face right before they kill someone. The curling of their lips into a snarl, the glint of merciless psychosis present in their eyes, and their hands, almost too ready to seize a heartbeat. It’s common for the killer to beg their loved one’s eyes to look away before they cause someone else’s to close indefinitely. However, your father had never asked you to do so before.

He had never asked that of anyone.

You weren’t able to see Yoongi’s face before he killed Byungjoo, but you did feel the blood spatter paint your face. You had been covered in the blood of family, which would be the largest crime someone could commit in your former syndicate.

However, you didn’t feel sick. You felt fine.

Your eyes stuttered open, the feeling of a cool washcloth gently brushing against your skin as you regained consciousness with blurry vision trying to realign.

“Y/n, I’m washing the blood off of you, don’t be scared,” You heard a gruff voice as your eyes focused to see Yoongi’s face above your own as he brushed the cloth on your cheek, “We had to change your clothes to get all the blood, but we didn’t see anything past what a bathing suit would be, and by we I mean Jin and I.”

“Byungjoo is dead,” That was something you had to confirm as Yoongi nodded, “Why?”

Yoongi ceased all movement for a second, reaffirming his decision to say his next few words, “He tried to kill one of our own, one of my own.”

You almost choked on air, “O-One of-”

“I didn’t stutter, y/n,” He stated, continuing to clean you off, “You are mine now.”

His stare was a web that looked like the coziest bed to snuggle into. Yoongi was either a new home or a prison with amazing architecture.

You didn’t know which option was the most dangerous.

He chuckled, breaking the stare and you from your own thoughts, “Don’t get too excited, I mean you’re my new addition, we have a closer bond now, I guess,” You scrunched your nose at his chiding, “I mean if you wanted one night of-”

Your lips twitched upwards, “You’re disgusting,” You said as Yoongi flashed you his gummy smile.

“There’s a sense of humor, something to lighten the mood,” He noted, standing up to put the rag away, “I need you alive and well, it’s the least I can make sure of.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, “What do you mean?”

Yoongi smiled, “Ah, who would’ve thought you’d forget saving a trembling preteen when you weren’t even 10?”

You paused, remembering the child of the Min’s, the only person you had shown your face to. Byungjoo was right, this was all your fault, but you weren’t angry with yourself in the least bit, “It was because you were either going to die or end up like me, and I didn’t like either possibility.”

He nodded, “Little did you know I’d tear that whole system down.”

You wanted to be shocked, but you weren’t. Min Yoongi hadn’t exactly said it, but you knew, he was the push to the dominos that your empire was built on.

“What? No anger?” Yoongi leaned down to look at you with eye contact, “I ruined your life after you saved mine.”

“I get angry at wrongful acts,” You managed to sit up straight, “All you did was show the world the truth.” Your head was pounding for you to lay down again, “My father and Byungjoo ruined my life.”

Yoongi was dumbfounded, unable to wrap his head around what made you so level-headed, considering your background. It was just about admirable how you could recognize fault where fault is due, “How did you manage to form an independent opinion with all the blindfolds they put over your eyes?”

Keep reading

Mofftiss’ Masterpiece

(Or: How The Watson’s Marriage Was Done So Right, It Hurts - A Johnlock Perspective)

When Mary was first introduced into the show, we very graciously welcomed her into our hearts, trusting that the writers had some kind of plan. We knew that they were facing the difficult task of staying true to canon while further developing the relationship arc between John and Sherlock. Not an easy feat, but we had faith: Eventually, we would see Mary’s true colours, John would return to Baker Street - all would be well.

But, alas, it did not happen. And the fandom was flabbergasted. What were Mofftiss playing at? However, there are actually two really good reasons for doing what they did:

One, you can’t just turn one of the very few original female characters into something negative. I mean you can, but I really don’t think Mofftiss wanted to. Two, there was a much, much more beautiful route. And Mofftiss took it. 

Because what do you do, when you can’t make a character lovable due to the risk of heteronormativity, and you can’t make her unlovable due to risk of misogyny? The answer is: You make her awesome. You make her the best, most brilliant hero ever. And then you let her make a really strong case in point: No one can compete with Sherlock Holmes. 

(Read-more link for mobiles)

Keep reading

i love steve harrington’s character development and i think it deserves more praise

yes yes, this is something everyone talks about, but trust me. it took me so long to convince my mom and the people i talked with about stranger things that steve harrington was not just some dumb douche character that saved his friends by coincidence and would fall back on his own development as soon as nancy left him for jonathan. back before s2 was really hyped up, it was difficult when you liked steve more than jonathan because everyone thought steve was the worst!! they all flocked to jonathan’s character because he was relatable and you could tell he had something with nancy and everyone was rooting for the caring older brother who was socially awkward.

i love jonathan, do not get me wrong, but he has character traits that i see in myself that come with isolation. so trust me. i’m not doing this to bash on a character, i just want to explain some of the reasons why jonathan has more depth than just sensitivity. firstly, jonathan byers is completely isolated, and this has led him to have a skewed view of everyone who isn’t as isolated as him. when you are so far removed from your typical high school life, of course you’re gonna see the faults in it- he’s so self conscious that his brain tries to put others down just to make him feel less lonely. an important scene for this is when he and nancy are fighting in the woods- he says “i thought you were different”. the implications of this are that he liked her because she wasn’t high school-y and boring teenage girl-y.

when you start to get to know someone, you can see them as more of a person and less of a conforming hive mind, which is kind of what he sees a lot of people as. especially the way he said that she wasn’t herself at the party just because he fell in love with the idea of a girl who /would/ feel uncomfortable at a party. of course it took nancy a while to get used to parties and that sort of stuff, but from what i saw, she was enjoying herself!! she was having fun but jonathan couldn’t see that because he didn’t expect her to have fun. it’s something very typical of people who don’t feel like they fit in to imagine people that they want to get close to as not feeling like they fit in. jonathan hasn’t had much character development because his character has been pretty good from the start, save for the thing i talked about, which is important but nothing something his character is based off of. a healthy dislike for large groups of meddling teens is fine.

the reason i included this part about jonathan is because i wanted to contrast steve with this. jonathan went through a lot as a kid, and it made him stronger, but lonelier. steve, on the other hand, was probably a stupid kid with a fragile ego who surrounded himself with friends just to realize that he felt even more alone with people around. rich and dumb and an asshole. the seemingly best life to live. but steve harrington’s character goes deeper than that.

he started off as someone we all kinda disliked. there wasn’t much reason for it, but he probably reminded us of some dummy we knew in real life that was “popular” and liked girls and thought he was “all that”. pushy asshole boyfriend, an understandable target for hatred. then he showed us that he cared more about his parents’ opinions than barb. then he broke jonathan’s camera- something expensive and prized at the time and difficult to replace. this was when people started to really rag on him. and then he further proved himself by letting his friends spray point rude shit about nancy and jonathan, and though he wasn’t the culprit, he let it happen and he seemed to be okay with it. he spent most of the season being annoying and rude and then flat-out like a bully.

so this is where steve shines!! he started off as a hated character and, despite amazing character development, ended up as a mostly disliked character. he gets in the way of one of the main couples, he’s an asshole, he’s a douche, he did mean shit, he paled in comparison to the other two in the “teens” trifecta. but his character development, especially among the teens, is unparalleled. first off, the duffer brothers commented on his character a bit, saying he was originally meant to be an antagonist but joe’s portrayal of him changed their minds (thank you so much joe). they also say that steve comes from a background where he was never a priority- a kid whose parents ignored him and treated him poorly. sure, sure, this isn’t an excuse, but it explains a lot about his character.

ysee, when i first watched st, i kept thinking ‘what is steve doing in that friend group with those assholes?’ because he seemed so… awkward?? like the way he talked and carried himself seemed very unlike the charismatic characters we usually know as the douchey popular kids. he just didn’t fit in. i think steve was raised by cold, unloving parents that led to him trying to be someone like them- having fun when he can by just hanging around and being a general douche to people, never opening up to anyone. and then, see, he meets nancy. this smart, nice, kinda outsider girl, and finally he has something that makes him happy. i wanted to save this for later, but the time when he calls his friends out for being jealous or something “because she’s not miserable like you”? i think a lot of people overlooked that when it really tells us about steve’s character. these are the kids he’s hung out with throughout high school. these are the kids he probably ended up hanging out with in a time where he felt his worst. these kids probably helped him in a time when he was miserable. he’s been miserable. but nancy, she brought him out of that, and i think that’s why he was so affected by seeing her with jonathan. i think he finally had someone he opened up to, or was going to open up to, found someone who made him happy, and then he saw that and realised that he had put his trust in someone who would just let him down again.

and the parents thing is shown in the conversation with nancy about barb. he was a complete douche during this exchange, but there was a reason for it. barb was missing, but she was also a level-headed teenage girl, so if someone told me someone like that was missing, i would have assumed that they were fine and just probably ran off or played hooky. like i know that’s dumb but if i had stupid parents who never paid me any mind and were probably not exactly nice to me, i think my brain would jump to that. but, still, dick move steve.

breaking jonathan’s camera. okay. heavy thing. yes, DICK MOVE, STEVE, but not without reason. done in a terrible, terrible, awful way that would make me dislike anyone, but not without reason. if i found pics like that of my girlfriend taken by the notorious “weird kid”, i’d be super angry. not angry enough to break a rare commodity, an EXPENSIVE commodity, but enough to do something. everyone hated steve after this.

the graffiti….. the dickest steve move in the series. yes, he didn’t do it, but he followed his friends around as they did it and allowed them to do it. even if the one person you began to trust breaks your heart, that’s still an absurd and awful thing to do. but it also brings one of the most important scenes. i mean, yea, steve and jonathan fought, steve ran away from punishment and left jonathan to be punished, like the awful spoiled boy he is, but the scene at the gas station where they get him like a cola or something to put on his wounds?? that’s an important scene. of course i already mentioned the most important part (the “miserable” part), but the fact that he calls them out?? the only people who seemed to have stuck by him for all these years. he’s finally had enough of being this thing he doesn’t want to be, and he yells at them and drives away (run away like you always do).

steve is a coward. steve is an asshole. steve is a douchebag. steve is a man-child. but steve also had a rough childhood. he also had difficulty opening up. he also spent a lot of his life as a miserable, dull, asshole.

he went to jonathan’s house in the middle of the night to apologise to him. he went out of his way to go to JONATHAN’S HOUSE FIRST!! he wanted to redeem himself to other people besides nancy, so don’t you dare pull the ‘he did it all for her’ card. even after they told him to run, to leave, he came back. it’s so much harder to run away from danger, turn around, and run right back into it than it is to stay and fight. it takes courage. steve broke away from being a coward who always runs away (run away like you always do) to a man trying to become someone better. he’s trying his best to be someone he’s always wanted to be. it’s such a shame he gets put down as the token asshole. remember, he’s not trying to flaunt either. he probably paid for most of that camera, but nancy gave it to jonathan and said it was only from her anyways. he doesn’t care that he doesn’t know it was from him as well, because that’s not the important thing. he wants to redeem himself TO HIMSELF. he wants to be a better person because it’s making him happier, and i feel like dating nancy was a bit of a gateway to that, but not as like a… not like he tried to better himself for her, but more like she showed him that he /can/ become better.

i love steve harrington and in the new previews he’s hanging out with the kids and everyone is like “he was a good guy after all!!” but i am here as his #1 fan to show you guys that it has, in fact, been like that for a minute.

𝕡𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

» Feel free to change pronouns as needed. || Mix of fluffy, angsty, NSFW, etc. «

  • ‘ I alter the structure of expectations. ‘
  • ’ Just to be clear, I’m not gonna do whatever you want, so… ‘
  • ‘ If you are lying to me I will put rocks in your pockets and throw you in the ocean. ‘
  • ‘ Gone are the days of a man in a bandit mask stealing a ruby from a museum. ‘
  • ‘ If I knew I could fail up, I would’ve done it years ago. ‘
  • ‘ You know how everyone wants to have sex with robots, right? ‘
  • ‘ Now you’re smelling it like a creepy person. ‘
  • ‘ Prepare to feel my powerful balls…of fire! ‘
  • ‘ You promised me that we were going to stand in awkward silence. ‘
  • ‘ Did you just call yourself a bitch? ‘
  • ‘ You don’t even feel shame properly! ‘
  • ‘ It’s called “Being a Dick”. ‘
  • ‘ That’s very aggressive language. ‘
  • ‘ This will cut off the heating, AC, and sewage, but it might get us the internet back. ‘
  • ‘ Were you making that whipping sound at other black people? ‘
  • ‘ You’re on the very short list of things that upset me. ‘
  • ‘ We bitch and we procrastinate because that’s what we do. ‘
  • ‘ We would’ve gotten it done at the absolute last possible minute. ‘
  • ‘ You are definitely not our friend. ‘
  • ‘ You are a turd in my toilet, and you can’t even swim. ‘
  • ‘ My dad always said, “Buy your mistress the same perfume as your wife.” ‘
  • ‘ The only way to know for certain is for one of us to sleep with him. ‘
  • ‘ Daddy doesn’t love me. ‘
  • ‘ He’s even half circumcised. ‘
  • ‘ This is far too important for you to screw up. ‘
  • ‘ I’m naked from the waist down. ‘
  • ‘ You therapy-inducing windbag! ‘
  • ‘ The acceptance of a racist grandfather is still my white whale. ‘
  • ‘ Batman never leaves anything behind, including insurance information. ‘
  • ‘ You’re like Jason Bourne if he was destined to die alone. ‘
  • ‘ If I leave now, I can still get home in time to not be here. ‘
  • ‘ I bet he stole it from somewhere really nice. ‘
  • ‘ I took the high road and it felt like crap. ‘
  • ‘ I invented the pretend-to-fall-and-grab-a-pair-of-breasts move. ‘
  • ‘ Why are you watching a guy get a handy? ‘
  • ‘ I know what you’re thinking: not a lot of white guys named Reggie. ‘
  • ‘ Please tell me this is a Japanese game show. ‘
  • ‘ Why, unprompted, did you just tell us your entire evil plan? ‘
  • ‘ My Bugatti is because my father didn’t hug me. ‘
  • ‘ Old girl’s still got some moves. ‘
  • ‘ I am not the “Hobbit” movies. ‘
  • ‘ What’s up, really hot loser? ‘
  • ‘ The joy of obeying a direct order from your superior, that lasts forever. ‘
  • ‘ Apparently, she has a “squad” and they have “goals”. ‘
  • ‘ That’s so sad. Except for the cartoonish level of opulence. ‘
  • ‘ Yes, I’m talking about sex! ‘
  • ‘ He’s definitely talking about his penis. ‘
  • ‘ There’s a chance you’ll get to punch a stranger. ‘
  • ‘ Please stop bonding with me. ‘
  • ‘ Aww, people are using my name as a verb? ‘
  • ‘ I’m giving you an opportunity to snitch on a friend. ‘
  • ‘ Grasp the furniture. ‘
  • ‘ You’re sort of reliable and capable in a middle school hall monitor sort of way.  ‘
  • ‘ Maybe I have too many bounds to step over. ‘
  • ‘ Your punishment will be of biblical proportions. ‘