i love tater

Tater is a master of the art of tacky, tasteless Christmas presents that make people awkwardly unsure if he knows how inappropriate they are, or if he’s giving them out of honest good faith.  He’s like that dragon who hoards uncomfortable situations.

Kent Parson does him one better by gladly accepting and openly using them, from the Hello Kitty travel mug to the Britney Spears body pillow.

Every year it’s like a game of chicken: Tater tries to come up with a gift of even greater hideousness, trying to find something even Kent will blanch at.  At the same time, if he goes too far with his gift, he’s going to endure the pain of watching Kent use it.

I want Kent and Tater that both have huge crushes on each other, who know that their feelings are requited, but who are too stubborn to make the first move.

Like every time they see each other the flirting is so instense that the rookies get embarrassed and have to leave.

When Jack asks them why they won’t ask the other out, Kent tells him “I like making him work for it. If he wants a piece of me, he’s gonna have to do something about it.”

Tater responds “Kent is too cocky. Need to knock him down a peg. He is needing to admit what he wants.”

So they continue to dance around each other, until a party at Jack’s one weekend when the Aces are playing in Boston. Tater finds Kent leaning against a wall in the hallway, nursing his drink and looking contemplative.

“Kenny, why so sad looking? Aces lose again? Or you just disappointed I am not in your bed?” Kent grins at that, looking up at Tater with those bright eyes that just get him every time.

“No, just wondering when you’re gonna get the courage to wine and dine me like you know you want to.”

“Am ready to do so much more than that, am just waiting for you to give word.” Tater is, he really is, but he’s not ready to give up on this game yet.

Kent sighs and look down at his drink, somwthing Tater was not expecting. “Why do we do this, Alexei?” Tater is surprised, and it takes him a moment before he can answer.

“Am liking chasing you, Kenny.” Tater tries to keep the conversation flirty, but the air has changed, and he’s not sure what to do. Kent looks back at him intensely, and Tater feels naked.

“I’m done with games, Alexei. I think it’s time I let myself have something that I deserve.” Tater is sure that Kent is ending this thing they have, that he’s getting thown aside so Kent can chase a real relationship, and Tater is ready to leave now. He wants to go home and bury himself in his blankets and never come out.

Tater is so buried in his thoughts that he nearly falls over when Kent pulls him down into a rough, searing kiss that leave him a little lightheaded and yearning for more.

Suddenly Tater’s hands are on Kent’s waist, pulling him in closer, and Kent’s hands are burying themselves in his hair, and he’s pressing Kent against the wall like he’s afraid Kent might slip away. One of Kent’s legs is in between his own, pressing up into him, and Tater’s whole body is on fire.

Kent’s mouth has moved to his neck, and Tater is gasping into Kent’s hair, breathing in smell of him. He pulls Kent back up to kiss his mouth, murmuring “Go on date with me, real one”

In between kisses Kent laughs softly. “Thought you’d never ask”

omgjustinoluransi  asked:

in the wtnv au is there still a literal five-headed dragon running for mayor? and if so who is it?

Oh HELL yeah… 

idk about mayor but Providence Mcfalconer is definitely running for something. (or, maybe we’re running from him. debatable…)

anonymous asked:

46 for patater? and/or 10 for wtf?

46. “Shut up, I am a delight!”

“Kenny, maybe it’s not so good you come for reunion. Russia is… very cold in winter, котенок. Too cold for you, maybe.” Alexi sat at the counter of Kent’s kitchen, large hand wrapped around a rather tiny mug of ginger tea, smile curling onto his cheeks as he watched Kent spin around at the sink, lips pinched into a scowl. 

“I play hockey, Tater. I think I can handle the cold.” Kent replied, eyes narrowing slightly at the smug Russian across from him. 

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More Patater Family!AU

Follow-up to this post. Last thoughts on the Patater family for tonight because I realize I’m going overboard with this buT LAWD i love them so much

I imagine that even with how involved Kent and Tater tries to be in their kid’s life, there are just some moments that they will miss because of how much they have to travel. Their son understands; his parents more than make up for it when they come home and he knows they love him a whole bunch but it still sucks sometimes to only talk to them through Skype for weeks at a time. Like in third grade when he made it to the final rounds of his school’s Spelling Bee, but lost at the end, he really wished that his Pa was there to tell him he did a good job, or to see his Dad in the front row probably trying to stifle his backseat coaching because “Kenny, is spelling, you cannot coach. That is actually cheating.” Like yeah, they always do the thing with the matching suits and accessories whenever they go to Back to School Night, and Karen from the PTA basically wants to slaughter Kent for dissing her baking skills, but he’d rather have that than walking home alone from school to an emptyish house (nanny is there) for weeks at a time.

Every single time, the regular season pretty much coincides with the annual school play, and ok, their son doesn’t really care about the play. He’s playing a tree that says about five lines total, but looking in the dark at the parents and not seeing his blows a lot more than he’d expected. When the play is over and they all stand in a line to bow, the lights turn on and suddenly, amidst the clapping and cheering, he hears a familiar accent yelling, “That’s my son!! You see! The third tree!” And their son notices the two figures in the very back, still in hockey jerseys and looking pretty frazzled, are Kent and Tater, who’d immediately jumped in the car post-game interview (tbh Tater only said “I have to go to my son’s play I am sorry maybe next time!!! Ask Zimmboni questions he was very good!!!” and Kent just straight up walked out). Kent and Tater are the first parents to rush forward to collect their kid and are extremely alarmed when their son barrels towards the two of them, crying because he missed them. Tater raves about how convincing he was as a talking tree and Kent wipes the tears away and gives a bunch of gross cheek kisses like he did when he was in first grade. (Headcanon that Kent calls their son Tater Tot and does kid-friendly chirps while giving said kisses.)

BONUS: All the parents in the auditorium are turning their heads and you hear the crowd whispering excitedly as they recognize Kent and Tater in their jerseys. Except for Karen, who glares at Kent for a full minute while Kent narrows his eyes and look highly unimpressed.   

My mom @omgittybits has been feeling super down so I decided to write some Patater headcannons to cheer her up cause I love her a lot!

  • Tater loves picking Parse up. Just at random, when he’s trying to cook or playing with Kit or whatever. Parse isn’t small exactly but compared to his Russian giant of a boyfriend, he’s tiny. He always complains, demanding he be set down at once, but he can’t keep the fond smile off his face.
  • Tater also originally believed he hated cats. He was scratched up by a particularly grouchy one as a child and declared them demons ever since. Parse got him to a shelter via a lost best (that last goal was a lucky shot, Tater totally should’ve gotten more goals in 30 seconds), and the minute Kit was plopped into his lap he was smitten. He tried to play it cool but Alexei Mashkov is literally incapable of playing it cool. Parse’s chirps were endless as they took her home.
  • Kit Purrson’s name started as a chirp from Jack about Parse’s cockiness confidence, but Parse totally adored it and it stuck. Tater thinks it’s ridiculous but adorable.
  • Whenever the Aces play the Falconers, in between periods Parse will always pick a fake fight with Tater, always ending in Tater picking Parse up and threatening to toss him into the boards. Both teams chirp them about getting a room. They absolutely do later.
  • Sometimes at bars they try to see who can be the most loud and charming and outgoing. This once led Tater to dance shirtless on a table (after several shots of vodka). Parse still has the video and occasionally tortures Tater with it.
  • These boys are the life of any party and get along with literally everyone. They almost always have several potential plans they could take people up on any given weekend in the off season, but sometimes they blow everyone off to just have some lowkey time to themselves.
  • Basically they’re cute af and good for each other and somehow I ended up loving them. I always get sucked into rarepairs, how??

anonymous asked:

I love your writing and I'd love it if you wrote something with patater that's sweet and domestic but also a little sexy, too if you want. Idk I just love those two together and thinking about kent being a blushing Nerd when tater flirts with him or is sweet to him gives me palpitations.

Do you write Tater? I need some Tater love. Platonic, romantic, I’m not even picky about who, I just need to see Tater loving people

okay so this is more of snapshots of their lives but there is some definite domesticity in it :) :) :)

Five Names Kent “Parser” Parson and Alexei “Tater” Mashkov Call Each Other

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