I loved too deeply, that was my problem.
I loved so deep that I became frightened I would drown in the depths of it all.
I loved so deep that it swallowed me up in darkness when I realized I was swimming in it alone. I loved too deep…. but I’ve never been a shallow sort of person.
you can’t see this but my friend who didn’t get front row videoed this and matty asked me if I was okay and I should smile because I was crying at the gig for half an hour and he postponed a bit of the chorus. I appreciate the band so much. ((Also it was longer it was cut short because he made sure I was okay))
I can´t believe Lance loves rain, which indicates sadness. I can´t believe Lance loves the ocean, which shows how deep of a character he is (Ocean =deep). I can´t believe Keith loves to swim, meaning he tries to figure Lance out.
I can’t wait to be so in fucking love with someone. To be frustrated as hell, to not be able to breathe thinking how deep I have fallen, to feel so excited seeing that person, to feel nauseated and scared of how much it affects me to even just hear his name, his voice, feel his touch… I can’t wait to go through thick and thin, swim the pacific shit, experience pain just for that person. I can’t wait to feel the emotion that holds all the emotions you could possibly feel.
request: anyfandomwriter Can you make one with Jimmy Darling where we are dating all of a sudden we have a stupid fight and we get captured by that clown and Dandy the other one tries to do things to me and Jimmy cant take it anymore and in some way free’s himself and fights with him and we get back to the circus and we make up with alot of fluff? :)
“Hey babe,” Jimmy Darling, your longtime boyfriend, breathes in your ear. You are frying some eggs and the warm smell coming off of them combined with the feel of Jimmy’s hands on your hips makes you feel like you have never been more at home.
“Come on! Not now. Breakfast is ready..” You whine, bumping him lightly with your hip which he grabs to pull you closer. He leans down to your neck and begins to kiss and suck it gently, then a little rougher before rasping in your ear, “Food can wait-” Gripping you tight around the waist Jimmy lifts you off of your feet causing your back to arch, you expel a moan. That only makes matters worse because Jimmy adores making you moan. He flops back on the creaking bed and you twist around so you are against his firm chest. You are going to get him back, you ease up his shirt and blow a raspberry on his soft, supple tummy. Jimmy laughs heartily and you feel the vibrations and laugh yourself. “Come here,” he growls and tugs you up to his lush pink lips by your armpits.
You are pulled out of your adorable love fest by three short raps at the door. Jimmy groans and gently lifts you off of him, he drags his feet all the way to the door then opens it and leans lazily in the doorframe. Eve, one of your friends, stands outside your trailer. “Hey Jimmy, so for tomorrow night are we going to use the yellow or orange based gel on the spotlight?”
You all lived at a freakshow and worked in the show. You and Jimmy both grew up in the show, he had “lobster hands”, fused hands, and you were an acrobat. Ms Elsa Mars took you under her wing and you’d faithfully been in her show ever since.
At the mention of tomorrow night, the glowing excitement from your heated kissing session fades, confusion and disbelief take its place. “Uh, I don’t know, we’ll have to figure it out tomorrow,” Jimmy contemplates, running a large claw through the golden blond curl on his forehead. Eve agrees and nods to you, “Hey Y/N, see you later,” and ducks her head so she can exit the trailer, she is incredibly tall, her nickname being “Amazon Eve”.
You clear your throat and rise to your feet, resting a slender hand on your hip, which you jut out sassily. You mean business. “Jimmy. We were going to the diner and then to see a picture tomorrow night..” You raise a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and look at him through squinted eyes. No matter how much attitude you feign, Jimmy knows you are extremely sensitive, and your voice gives away how hurt you are.
“Look, sorry babe. Whatever, let’s just do it another night?” He reaches for you, arms outstretched but only grasps the air because you jerk back. “WHATEVER??? Really? Do I even matter to you?” You cry out in disbelief, throwing your hands down and gripping at your poodle skirt in distress. Jimmy sighs frustratedly and turns his back on you, “God, you are so high maintenance.” You gasp at the ridiculousness of that statement. “Yes, I am crazy for wanting you to keep your word when you make a plan with me.” You mimic sarcastically. “You are being ridiculous.” He calls and slams on the counter.
That hurt. He never says such hurtful things, you know he’s stressed right now but that doesn’t mean he can treat you badly. You choke back a sob and sprint out of the trailer desperately not wanting him to see you cry. You run as fast as your bare feet will take you, they slap the wet grass as you enter the field away from the campground. Tears streak your face and the cold wind whips your long Y/H/C hair all around. You stop to catch your breath and clear your thoughts, and you hear Jimmy calling for you, begging you to come back. You just sit there in silence and allow the tears to fall. You realize how dark it is now and you hear a rustling behind you. You whip around and get cut off before you can emit a blood curdling scream. A terrifying clown faces you with a mask over the bottom half of his face and dirt-caked clothes splattered with a red color that you pray is not blood. He has your mouth covered and suddenly he jerks a knife to your throat. You don’t know what to do so when he shoves you and you whimper he puts the knife closer to your neck and you follow him blind with fear.
Petrified, he leads you into a broken down shed. There is a ripped screen door that he kicks in violently. He shoves you into the dark room where you are caught by two strong hands. The clown leaves immediately. “Hello darling,” A smooth, sinister, voice purrs in your ear. A shiver of fear trickles from the crown of your head to your feet. Dandy. The creepy rich boy who was obsessed with the freakshow. He grips your delicate upper arms viciously and pushes you back into a creaky wooden rocking chair. The chipped wood scrapes your skin and you try to sit up but Dandy brandishes a gun.
After tying your wrists to the chair, feet bound together, and gagging you with a rag he reclines in a chair opposite you, crossing his legs in a grandiose fashion. “And now we wait.” He says with a sly smile. You choke on the rag trying to cry out. Tears leak down and soak the rag, Jimmy, you ached for Jimmy.
As though the universe was playing some sadistic joke on you, you got your wish. Jimmy was shoved through the door then by the clown. When he saw you he tried to make a break for you but Dandy aimed the gun at your head and whispered, “Move… and see what happens.” Jimmy looked at you with heartache in his eyes, and then at Dandy with murderous rage. “Y/N,” Jimmy whispers, voice packed with emotions, sadness, love, anger at Dandy.
“Gag him.” Dandy calls absentmindedly waving a hand, not moving his eyes from you. Jimmy thrashes but gets gagged and his hands tied and thrown in a metal cage in the corner which the clown locks promptly. “So, I want to torture you. I want to hear you scream out in pain and feel your warm crimson blood run on my hands.” Dandy circles your chair and when he is back in front of you he runs the flat side of the knife down your forehead, pausing on your nose and then tapping it playfully, psychotically.
Jimmy bangs on the cage desperately and Dandy shrugs it off as though he isn’t there. “However, maybe I’ll keep you. I’ll hold you as my pet and have you do whatever I want, torture you enough that you live, just so I can torture you again.” You shake in your bindings and try to scream at him angrily, this changes his attitude in an instant. He looks at you in absolute rage and draws his knife across your collarbone. Not doing any real damage but scaring you out of your mind.
This drove Jimmy over the edge, somehow he got his handles undone and he was slamming out of that cage. He ripped the gag out of his mouth and grabbed a piece of plywood, knocking out the clown in one brutal swing. And then he’s on Dandy, he was out in one punch but Jimmy beats him bloody. You cry out for him to stop and he looks at you, snapping out of the rage. He unties you and holds you close to him. You have your face in his slightly sweaty chest and you breathe in his scent. Safety is found encircled in his arms.
“Oh baby, oh, are you alright,” He nervously caresses your face and then gingerly touches your collarbone. “It’s hardly a scrape, it’s okay,” You assure him breathlessly. “We better get out of here before they come to,” You pull him, knowing if you don’t get out now, Jimmy may kill them. He looks at you and grabs your hand and you two are off, flying through the woods back to the campground.
Jimmy carries you to the trailer once it is in view. He sets you down on the beat up maroon couch in the dim living space and sprints into the bathroom. When he comes back he looks at you sadly, “This is going to sting,” You nod and allow him to clean the cut with alcohol and then put a large bandage on it.
Once all of the mending is done Jimmy hangs his head sheepishly. Slowly he looks back up at you, deep eyes swimming with tears, “I love you. I love you and I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have forgotten about our date. You matter more than anything. I’m not missing that date for the world. Never again. I never ever want to hurt you like that again.” You can’t answer, you just cry out a huff of relief and nod vigorously.
Your and Jimmy’s teary eyes meet in a remarkable show of love and he slowly leans his forehead down to yours, never breaking eye contact. Carefully he joins his plump lips to yours and you share a sweet loving embrace. He lifts you off the couch and strides to the bed, lowering you down and climbing in next to you. You snuggle into the crook of his neck and he wraps you in his strong secure arms.