i will never EVER be able to get over Mike Wheeler. he’s willing to take in a girl he barely knows and keep her safe even though she’s obviously dangerous to be around. he pushed down his biggest bully in defense of a friend who wasn’t even present. he’s willing to fucking jump off of a cliff so his friend wouldn’t get hurt. he cares so deeply for other people and is extremely emotionally mature for his age. he’s genuinely kind hearted and does the things he does just to help others, not for any self gain. he deserves everything good in this world and i just wanna hug him
warnings: swearing, car accident mention, death, weed mention
a/n: hehe because what is life without a little bit of connor angst? i love him. i love him and mike faist he makes me want to explode. ok ENJOY THIS <3
words are muffled – his hands are rubbing and running over his mouth, over his
eyes, over his face. He’s been sweating for hours, his overweight denim jacket
feeling even heavier under the hot, bright light of the hospital overheads.
Yet, despite the moisture dripping down his skin, he doesn’t feel like anything
is real. He doesn’t feel real. This
all feels like a terrifying nightmare, every fear and every heartbreak
seemingly picked from the very back of his brain, and if he rubs his face
enough, he’s hoping he’ll wipe this fictional situation away and everything
will be okay again.
“Such a fucking idiot.”
He wants to
plug his ears; he wants to cover his eyes; he wants to wipe away all the proof
that this is actually happening and fall asleep. He hasn’t slept for two days –
he’s too scared that he’ll wake up and learn that you passed away while he was
under. But he’s so goddamn tired of waiting around and not being able to help
or do anything. It’s adding more exhaustion to what he’s already feeling,
because he doesn’t know what to do, and he’s practically ripping his hair out
over how helpless he feels. What would
he do? You either survive or you don’t. It’s not like resuscitation would do
anything for you now. He just has to wait. And waiting feels so awful, because
he doesn’t know how this is going to end. He wishes he did. He wishes he could
sleep and be promised you would wake up.
you just shouldn’t have fucking done it? It’s not rocket science or something.
It’s… it’s just common sense.”
He pulls his hands away from his face and
grabs his knees, leaning forward.
smarter than this. You’re so much smarter than this. Why would you risk
yourself like that?”
bitterly, coldly. He’s not mad at you, of course. He would never be mad at you.
He’s mad that this had to happen. He’s mad that this had to happen to you.
you risk your life?”
He gets up
from the chair and moves slowly, sadly over to your bed. It creaks quietly when
he sits down. But you don’t move.
never done anything like this before. I should’ve been there, shouldn’t I?”
His hands –
his damp hands – are shaking, but he still reaches forward to place it on your
leg. He hopes that it doesn’t hurt.
do anything stupid like that again, okay? I-I’ll come with you wherever you
want – even to parties. Even to the mall, even to restaurants – wherever you
want me to come, I’ll come. But you have to wake up.”
he leans down; unties his boots and kicks them off; hoists his long, dangly
legs onto the bed, tucks them under himself, and… lays his head on your