i love me a pun

Flirting "nerd-style"
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>me:</b> look into my eyes<p/><b>my crush:</b> ... okay<p/><b>me:</b> as I suspected, your pupils dilated to 45%<p/><b>me:</b> thus you must be attracted to me<p/><b>my crush:</b> ...<p/><b>my crush:</b> you can't just-<p/><b>me:</b> I just did<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

anonymous asked:

Akaashi, please tell Futakuchi to CHILL

futakuchi has been adequately chilled… just kidding, he unplugged the fridge to get in there. akaashi has learned to keep a closer eye on him from now on

Cunning Stunts 6
  • Ryan: Catch Up Is Working Hard Right Now 'cause I'm Runnin' A Pretty Clean Race
  • Lindsay: Well That's Good 'cause I'm Giving It The Mustard
  • Michael: God Dammit
  • Ryan: Stop, Just Let It Go, No More Condiment Jokes!
  • Michael: It Doesn't Even Really-
  • Ryan: I Don't Relish Them!
  • Michael: It Doesn't Really- [Sighs]
  • Gavin: Ha!
  • Lindsay: Does No One Say That In Georgia? People Don't Say That Shit?
  • Gavin: Say What?
  • Lindsay: Give It The Mustard! It Means Like, Fuckin' Go
  • Ryan: Uh, No Yeah I Have Heard That Yeah
  • Gavin: I Mayo Have Heard That!
  • Everyone: [Groaning]
  • Jeremy: Boo!
  • Lindsay: What Have I Started
2

Happy Birthday to our First Love, Min Yoongi! #HappySugaDay

2

[28%]

I have a chem test on Monday… and so, here are some nitrogen oxygen tellurium sulphur ft. some pink pens that sadly aren’t all mine (^◇^)

(that’s N O Te S hehehe)

in honour of Jackson’s Birthday, I’d like to bring this video back

A rocky start

Some Context: one of my fellow players in a game is a rock golemn named Scoria. This exchange happened when the GM asked us on skype if we were available to play over the upcoming weekend:

GM: what’s the weekend plans guys?

Scoria: I am ready to roll.

GM: But are you ready to rock?

Scoria: You’re a real gem, GM

Player: stfu

Scoria: I’m sorry, shale we talk about this later?

Player: How dare you

Scoria: I got a bit boulder

Player: I s2g

Me: I think the puns rock. Perhaps you’re just too impatient to wait for a really nice one to crystallize. In the meantime you’ll just be losing your marbles over some lime jokes

Player: Why do you do this to me?

GM: Because we love you. Granite, we’re not very nice people.

Me: I wanted to throw out more puns in response, but I’ve hit a wall. They’re really too hard. Player is right, we should all some back down to Earth and start over, you know, with a clean slate. No more forced rock puns to stalagnate our conversations

Player: F***ING

Me: Uh oh, I’ve sent your and my relationship down a rocky road. Maybe if I’m gneiss you’ll be willing to drop all this grit and work with my based on sediment alone.

Player: z;ldkfjgn;zkjb

Me: I suppose I have norite to ask for forgiveness. Of quartz, I’ve earned your skarn. If you can’t forgive me I’ll just have to boulder on without you.

Player: why do you hate me?

Me: I don’t, I just love puns. But I’m done. I spent a solid 10 minutes reading up on names of rocks. It’s too much effort and I’m not even the rock golemn who should be making these puns.

Player: I’ll just silt over here and be quiet then

Scoria: I was driving!

Me: I’ve put more effort into thinking of rock puns in the last hour then I think you’ve done in entirety of the time you’ve played as Scoria. Not that I’m really keeping Scor(ia).

  • me: hey you wanna hear some desi puns in urdu/punjabi?
  • friend: no but ok
  • me: if you're on a bus and you've had enough do you say "bas"?
  • friend: ...
  • me: if you're in a car and you've had enough, do you say "bas kar"?
  • friend: ....??!?!?!?
  • me: if you're on a boat and you've had enough, do you say "boht ho gaya"?
  • friend: get out