<b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>me:</b> look into my eyes<p/><b>my crush:</b> ... okay<p/><b>me:</b> as I suspected, your pupils dilated to 45%<p/><b>me:</b> thus you must be attracted to me<p/><b>my crush:</b> ...<p/><b>my crush:</b> you can't just-<p/><b>me:</b> I just did<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
Some Context: one of my fellow players in a game is a rock golemn named Scoria. This exchange happened when the GM asked us on skype if we were available to play over the upcoming weekend:
GM: what’s the weekend plans guys?
Scoria: I am ready to roll.
GM: But are you ready to rock?
Scoria: You’re a real gem, GM
Scoria: I’m sorry, shale we talk about this later?
Player: How dare you
Scoria: I got a bit boulder
Player: I s2g
Me: I think the puns rock. Perhaps you’re just too impatient to wait for a really nice one to crystallize. In the meantime you’ll just be losing your marbles over some lime jokes
Player: Why do you do this to me?
GM: Because we love you. Granite, we’re not very nice people.
Me: I wanted to throw out more puns in response, but I’ve hit a wall. They’re really too hard. Player is right, we should all some back down to Earth and start over, you know, with a clean slate. No more forced rock puns to stalagnate our conversations
Me: Uh oh, I’ve sent your and my relationship down a rocky road. Maybe if I’m gneiss you’ll be willing to drop all this grit and work with my based on sediment alone.
Me: I suppose I have norite to ask for forgiveness. Of quartz, I’ve earned your skarn. If you can’t forgive me I’ll just have to boulder on without you.
Player: why do you hate me?
Me: I don’t, I just love puns. But I’m done. I spent a solid 10 minutes reading up on names of rocks. It’s too much effort and I’m not even the rock golemn who should be making these puns.
Player: I’ll just silt over here and be quiet then
Scoria: I was driving!
Me: I’ve put more effort into thinking of rock puns in the last hour then I think you’ve done in entirety of the time you’ve played as Scoria. Not that I’m really keeping Scor(ia).