i love matt so much sobs

I can’t believe this stupid trash show made me cry so much but goddamn the vampire diaries finale is the end of an era and I can joke about how badly written or annoying it is but I genuinely loved it evidently because I’m sobbing and I’m so happy that all my children found peace in some way

So I basically cried all over Jeremy.

I told him, in a trembling voice, how much it means to me that he doesn’t, uh, use the r-slur and things, and actively calls it out and stuff (I’m severely mentally disabled)– and I started crying, and he just. His eyes, the way he looked at me, I knew he really cared? (I’ll never forget it, I swear he was tearing up too?)

And he leaned over the table and he gave me the most sincere bone-crushing hug and he told me how much what I’d said meant to him, and said he understood, and I wanted to sob but I held it in as best as I could because this man is just the fucking sweetest? And I talked to him about Dooley Noted and told Matt how much I loved him in videos (I felt like I was focusing too much on Jeremy ahhh I love Matt so much!!), and I took that pic with them and my fucking knees were shaking so bad like they’d fall out from under me but I just. So many hugs and tears and trembling hands but Matt said “Hey, it’s alright– we’re okay!” to make me laugh, pretending it was them that were starstruck and not me, because he knew how anxious I was, and it just.

They’re angels. I respect them so much. I’m so happy.

He loved that I’d chosen to get the AH Anatomy of a Fan shirt signed (he was wearing it himself omfg) and he and Matt both loved Ash’s cosplay to bits, laughed so hard at their sign.

I loved it so much. I’m beside myself with joy. Now to prepare for meeting Ryan tomorrow. Dear God.

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I think this is the same reaction Matt had when the news broke out. He poured his soul, his huge talent, his time, devotion and love is this character and it makes me so sad and so pissed off at the same time.

So fuck all y'all who didn’t picked up this amazing show and gave this beautifull cast & crew a chance to make a cult show.

Still have a tiny bit of hope that someone with enough brain and balls will take Constantine and make it even more badass and awesome.

I wanna hug Matt, Daniel, Angelica, Charlie, Harold and everyone else and tell them how much I love them all.

Rant over.

Now I will go and sob in the corner for a while.