i love kickass girls

8

It's not right.

It’s

right

It’s just not right now.

Dedicated to Lola

The first boy who ever likes me wears too much cologne and slumps like every ounce of confidence has been drained from his body. He tells me that I’m not like his ex-girlfriend and that I have a pretty face, so even though he’s boring I let him ramble on while I nod and agree. His beliefs do not in the slightest align with my own, but it seems like such a moot point as I let him speak. I don’t know yet that there’s a difference between loving feeling loved and actually loving someone, so I let him hold my hand and take me on a date.

The second boy who likes me plays with my feelings, and I am too young to realize that that is all he will ever do. He calls me bro and tells me I’m funny and I think that means more than it does, so I put too much of my heart into empty text message conversations and laughing at jokes which hold no humor. I let him take me to Prom and when we slow dance I think I feel sparks. Later, I cuddle close to him and feel his heat, purposefully ignoring the texts he sends to another girl because I don’t know better.

One of my best friends finds the bottom of a bottle and tells me that I’m beautiful. I think it is as good as I deserve so I let him kiss me, let him touch me in places that, before this, only I had known about. Later he texts me and tells me that we were only meant to be friends anyways, that that’s simply the kind of girl I am, and I agree. It makes me think that maybe I will never be loved, that I was simply not made to be loved, but I repeat lonely promises in my head to keep the tears at bay.

The sting of unrequited love first hits me when I am probably too old for such a thing, but his smiles melt my heart and his laughs fill me with light. For a while I think he stares at me across the room in Literature, and I think that means that maybe he sees a light in me too, but then I discover that his eyes have always roamed over my shoulder at the bombshell behind me and the dreams melt into nothing. I wonder how I could have ever thought that I deserved someone as beautiful as him because he is the stars and I’m nothing but a bunch of darkness, empty and void and trying to let something fill me so that I can taste what happy feels like.

After a friend tells me that I’m a girl but not a real girl, I realize that maybe my love story will never come to fruition. If no one else loved me, who would? It had always seemed like such a ludicrous thought to love yourself, and how did one even begin? I look in the mirror one day and notice the extra love on my stomach and the too many moles around my neck and dead, thin hair. I do not like what I see. I don’t know how anyone ever does, and I decide that it is simply impossible to love me.

The boy with warm eyes who works in the bookstore walks in and out so fast he doesn’t really exist at all, not in the way I dreamed of him, but he hands me some books and makes me realize that maybe I could love me. It is hard, and horrible, and the act of it is so absolutely terrifying that I think it may be a cruel joke. I have been defined by boys who find me passable, and yet I am meant to find myself as something so much more extravagant than this diluted simplicity of the past.

No boy helps me realize that I am more, because I do that myself when I get the tattoo painted on my wrist. I am fire and ice and too many puns and not enough hair product. My nails are cracked but creativity flows through my fingers and the pages of books are written all over my arms; when I laugh the whole room stops, because it dances from my lips with such abandon they long for a similar sense of concentrated joy. The boys did not realize that they were touching a hurricane who happened to have a penchant for sundresses and combat boots, and must have never learned that if you touch the sun you’re supposed to hold on to it, but instead they just decide to burn themselves and walk away.

It is a struggle, loving myself every day, but I was made to be loved. I am the perfect end of the day. I am words that excite and hands that were made to be held and tears that may be shed, but I shine like a solar system exploding and roar like the Earth cracking in two. I do not need the boys, I never needed them.

—  not when I had myself all along
Man Killer - Hedley (Peter Parker Imagine)

Warning: Some swear words

Originally posted by peterparkerimagine

/Red lips
Big eyes
No vanilla
Make you wanna cry
Sweet little surprise
She’s a killer
Telling no lies/ 

 From a distance, you look harmless, pretty face, petite body and long pretty hair, it’s funny though - nobody would believe you’ve been trained by the Black Widow. Maybe that’s way Peter loved you. You could kick ass. He stood in the entrance of the gym in the Avengers tower, which he spent weekends at, mainly to bond with the team and be with you. He watched as you smiled at Steve and Buck who stood opposite you on the sparring mat. Normally Steve and Bucky are off on a mission or have already trained before you train. They’ve never sparred with you. ‘This should be easy, Y/N is small’ Steve thinks to himself. 'I hope Y/N doesn’t get hurt.’ Bucky thinks as he stands ready. 'This’ll be good.’ Peter smirks. The gym is silent as the other avengers gather around the ring 

 /Pretty like a lemonade and a smile and a 45
If you fuck with my girl, you could lose your life
I don’t gotta lift a finger
'Cause I got me a ringer/

Peter smiles as you give Steve and Bucky a sweet smile and get into your stance. Steve approaches you and throws a punch to which you duck, grab his arm and flip him over your shoulder. Bucky stands up straight and stares, jaw slack. He shakes his head and returns to his stance.

“Go babe!” Peter yells as he joins Natasha at the edge of the mat. Nat and him share a smirk. Peter stares in awe. He could watch you fight forever. He loves the way your lithe body moves, like a jungle cat on the prowl, and at the moment Steve and Bucky are your prey.

Bucky throws his metal arm towards you as Steve gets up. Like Natasha taught you; you grab his arm and swing your body around Bucky, your legs around his neck. You twist his to the ground and jump up, kicking Steve in the stomach without even looking.

/Well if you mix with my girl, it’s fine
You can get a dose/

Steve and Bucky lay on the ground and moan. Your shoulders sag and you pout. 

“Come on guys, I was just getting started!” You say as you shoot Nat and Peter a look.

“I think they made need some medication and a visit to Bruce.” Nat smirks as she comes onto the mat to observe your damage.

Peter runs up to you and wraps his arms around your waist. you turn into him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“That was extremely hot, babe.” He says. You smirk and push your lips against his. He pulls away to rest his forehead against yours.

/I don’t gotta lift a finger
It’s just me and my ringer/ 

“I love how kickass you are. It’s so hot to have a girl who can kick anyone’s ass”

“What about your masculine ego?”

He kisses you again pulling you in closer, his hands travelling from your waist to under your butt, you giggle into the kiss. You put your legs around his waist and feel a bulge against your crotch.

“Okay love birds, keep it pg. Spider-ling, you’re needed in the lab. Mankiller, good job in there. Frosty and the Star spangled captain needed their 90-year-old asses kicked.” Tony smirks when you and Peter jumped apart, blushing.

/She’s a man
She’s a man
She’s a man killer
She’s a bam bam that’d take you down if you mess with her
But it’s alright
'Cause she’s on my side
She’s a
She’s a man
She’s a man
She’s a man killer
When she’s all mine/

seducingmrhenney  asked:

i dont know how many times you get this, but its really, really, really REALLY comforting to get to see asian girls of all sorts?? i get bummed out sometimes because i feel like im not "asian" enough, but then i see all these kickass posts of girls loving themselves and i feel more cheerful and like ?? have a renewed comfort in my own identity so thank you so so so much for the face appreciation day!! you all do such wonderful work thank you so much!