i love jordan for this

  • Clarke: *Is a teenage girl who has to make life or death choices with thousands of lives at stake every damn day and sometimes makes bad choices because she's human and has had a good .5 second reprieve just like everyone else*
  • Monty: "You can't just choose who lives and who dies."
  • Jasper: "Clarke, you're not god."
  • Raven: "Choosing who lives and who dies is your specialty."
  • Octavia: "You let a bomb drop on Ton DC and didn't care about who would die"
  • Clarke: "Okay, so does anyone else want to step up and make perfect decisions every time so that everyone is happy and we all get to live even when we're constantly at war with someone or something."
  • Monty: ...
  • Jasper: ...
  • Raven: ...
  • Octavia: ...

the first few weeks of the justice league actually being a team are probably a fucking nightmare. superman keeps using midwestern expressions. you’re not going to need paper towels to clean this up, you’re gonna need an irrigation system, he says. nobody is entirely sure what that means. aquaman keeps leaving in the middle of fights to go save lobsters from restaurants, because he can’t just let them get eaten, y'know? wonder woman quickly figures out that there’s maybe three people here with any serious combat experience. the flash is just a police officer, man. that’s all he knows. she’s in despair. speaking of the flash, someone made the mistake of giving him caffienated coffee, and now the power’s out. someone tell green lantern that he can’t wear the same gross jacket to every meeting. shouldn’t his space cop uniform keep him warm. who keeps playing ‘mmm whatcha say’ over the speakers. batman keeps disappearing during after battles, and it turns out he’s at the daycare down the street hanging out with the babies. he got bored

The Signs as Iconic Deadpool Quotes

These were actually in a comic book.

“Deadpool” [Yellow Box]  (White Box)  “other”

Aries: (This plan that we’re working on..)  [What plan?]  “Operation moves.” (..Yeah. It’s awfully risky.)  [There’s a plan? Why wasn’t I-]  “Need-to-know basis. Sorry, pal.”  [But.. I’m you! That’s- that’s just stupid!]

Taurus: “Spidey! What up, baby boy? Haven’t seen you since Amazing Spider-Man #611!”

Gemini: “Let’s see how you like it when I smack you with an interspatial disorter that will temporarily phase your brain into dimension X!”  “This is an iPod with a piece of masking tape attached to it.”  “It is. Ah, but for a second there, you were really worried!”

Cancer: “Like Han Solo said to Chewbacca in Return of the Jedi, ‘Fly casual.’“ “Actually, I like the three new films better. The special effects are fantastic, and Hayden Christensen is an amazing actor.”  {shoots cronie} {points gun at other cronie} “Say Jar Jar Binks is an abomination! Say it!”  “Jar Jar Binks is an abomination! Jar Jar Binks is an abomination!”

Leo: “So, kick back, and enjoy Deadpool issue thirty-three point one!” [Wait, why is it called “point one”?]  (Who cares? At least this issue, there is a point.)

Virgo: “Why did you that?”  “Because you were gonna do it, and this is my book.” 

Libra: “Well, it’s in the Yellow Pages. You can’t get much realer than that!”  [I’m confused. I thought you couldn’t read anything in dreams.]  (I’m impressed he can read when he’s awake.)

Scorpio: “Oh, hi, kids. Deadpool here. Hate to interrupt the story like this, but our fine artist had the overwhelming urge to draw me in this pin-up shot, even though it’s nowhere in the script. Let’s return to the story while I go teach Michelangelo there the error of his ways.”

Sagittarius: “Is that Richard Nixon?”  “I can’t wait to pound that Dick… Uh. Hey, Doc, do you have a spell to undo what I just said?”

Capricorn: “I only have half a brain!” [be the meat] “What was that?!” (The other half. Ignore it.)

Aquarius: “Yeah, that fight lasted as long as Deathlok’s last comic.”

Pisces: “It’s funny.. I came here with starry-eyed dreams of killing some X-Babies. But now all I can think of is that damn Spider-Man.”

I almost forgot that I did this real quick after seeing the Broadway Newsies in theaters for my cousin’s birthday last month, so…. here you go!