i love humor fics

Wherefore art thou Gnomeo?

Drabble Challenge - Prompt 51 - “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?” Filled for @cowandcalf   

Thank you for the prompt, I don’t gnome if you’ll like this… hehe.  Hope you enjoy it. :) 

“What the hell?”  Harvey exclaimed from the doorway of Mike’s new office.

His old coffee table was covered with approximately twenty garden gnomes, with pink and blue coloured hats.  Mike looked up from the gnome he’s painting Tara and Louis’ names on, and rolls his eyes.

“Say hello to my little friends,” he quips tiredly, putting down the paintbrush and stretching.  

When he’d said yes to helping Louis out with the wedding preparations, he hadn’t envisioned he would be hand painting garden gnomes as bonbonnieres, not to mention all the other obnoxious requests Louis had made.

“I warned you not to say yes, Louis had all the trademarks of a Groomzilla,”

“Thank you, that’s very helpful,“ He replied sarcastically.

Harvey leant against Mike’s desk, folded his arms and smirked, “I thought you came back here to help the needy, well that, and take your boyfriend on long lunches?”

Mike returned the smirk, “Louis qualifies as needy, doesn’t he?”

Harvey chuckled.

“As for taking my boyfriend on long lunches, I believe you were more than satisfied with your ‘Lunch’, yesterday.“

Harvey hummed, “It was delicious,” he agreed, walking behind the couch and pressing a few delicate kisses to Mike’s neck, followed by a peck on the forehead, before taking a firm grip on his shoulders, trying to massage a bit of tension out of them.  Mike closed his eyes and relaxed into the touch.

“Where is the Captain of the USS Insanity, anyway?”  Harvey enquired.

“Groomzilla has a final tasting tonight; he chose to drag Rachel along thankfully.”

As if Louis were gifted with psychic abilities, Mike’s phone started ringing.

“Shit,” Mike grumbled, checking the caller ID, “Speak of the Devil.”

‘Mike, I need a fourth opinion on these hors d'oeuvres, get down here now, these women are ganging up on me.’

‘Louis, I-’

‘Please, Mike.  Corner of 9th and Broadway.’ 

He hung up in Mike’s ear.

Mike sighed wearily, grumbling under his breath about shoving a garden gnome somewhere as he grabbed his coat from the back of the couch.  Harvey watched his boyfriend with amusement.

“Where are you going?  I thought I was getting dinner and a show tonight,” Harvey teased.

Mike smiled, despite himself, “Where am I going?  Crazy.  Wanna come?”

Harvey shrugged and followed Mike out the door. “I’ll follow you anywhere, Mr Gump.”

“We are definitely getting a wedding planner, I’m not doing any of this stuff for my own wedding,” Mike babbled as he hurried toward the lift, turning his head back to see that Harvey had stopped dead in his tracks.

“We?” Harvey asked, eyebrows reaching the heights of his forehead.

“Oh … I um, I meant-“ Mike stammered as Harvey caught up with him.

Crowding into Mike space, Harvey asked, “You mean to tell me that after only two months of dating me, you know I’m ‘the one’?”

Mike met his stare and grinned. “I’ve known since the day you started teasing me about my skinny ties,” he replied cockily.

Harvey grinned, and his eyes dropped to Mike’s lips.  “My only love sprung from my only hate,” he murmured, gently biting Mike’s bottom lip and grabbing him possessively by the ass, and pulling him against him.

“How dare you use Romeo and Juliet to insult my skinny ties!” He moaned into Harvey’s mouth, rutting against him.

“Mike, stop, you know how much I like it when you-”

“When I what?” Mike asked innocently, biting Harvey softly on the sensitive skin of his neck, and continuing to roll his hips slowly against him.

Harvey spun them, pressing Mike against the glass of Louis’ office.

“I love you, there will never be anybody else,” he avowed, “and I’ve always liked fall weddings, but…”

“But?” Mike asked, feeling a tickle of worry.

“But,” Harvey said with a wolfish grin, “First things first.  You know what happens when you bite my neck and grind against me?”

Mike’s breath caught, and a sly smile spread across his face.  “You fuck my brains out.” He confirmed.

“Good Boy,” Harvey praised, pulling Mike toward the library.

Louis could wait.

Authors Note:  Thanks for reading.  This is drabble number 5/8.  You can find the rest here - Millie’s Mini Marvey Musing’s

Credit to @catxnoir, @ursopanda, and @gelema for the original concept!

EDIT: Part two here, part three here, and chapter four here (part 1, part 2. part 3)!

He was never meant to hear it.

It was just a wry observation during a particularly smooth battle with an akuma, one she hadn’t even realized she’d voiced until her partner in crime stiffened beside her.

“If only asking out my crush was this easy.”

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February Fic Rec Round-Up, Part I


Rather Emotional Days by Draycevixen

This fic is delightful. Yes, Harry Hart Lives!, but he comes back as a field agent and utterly confident in his desire for Eggsy. But things aren’t always straightforward; it takes time for Harry to requalify and Eggsy is the bright, shiny new agent taking on all the exciting missions. This throws Harry for a loop, but luckily, Merlin is around to troll assign his agents to missions where they’ll be forced to confront their feelings.

Callouses and Canes by starredthought

Adjusting to the world without a sight would be challenging for anyone, and Harry’s no different- his reaction at the beginning is heartbreaking. But with time and Eggsy by his side, he gradually adapts to his new circumstances and the world. This fic follows the process, and how they slowly grow together and take care of another. It’s just lovely.

First Impressions (Or a second) (Maybe a third) by propriety_is_not_a_priority

Think of this as the Meet Cute from hell. Harry springs Eggsy from jail, they share a pint at The Black Prince, and quickly realize they’ve met before… and we’re not talking about when Harry gave Eggsy the medal. Eggsy is cheeky and brazen here, and Harry’s embarrassment is palpable and delicious.

Accidental Roommates by enjoy_acne

YASSSS! @enjoy-acne just updated this, and it’s fucking awesome. Devastating, hilarious, and a great mix of canon elements. The Hartwin interactions are gold. READ READ READ.

Unwin, et al. (2016) by eggmuffin

Nerd humor FTW!

Okay, I love this fic. I’ve read other academia AUs and they tend to focus on the petty politics and the soul-robbing process of finishing the thesis. This story touches on all that and more, but the difference is its tone. It’s gleeful. It’s fun. You can tell that @eggmuffinwrites had a blast writing this, and for me as a reader, it’s so delightful to read.

where on this earth i could be by fideliant

When I was a teenager, my grandpa gave me his copy of “The Royal Road to Romance” and I learned that the word “romance” has many different meanings. I’m bringing this up because this fic by @fideliant embodies romance. Eggsy and Harry go on epic adventures together, and the slow burn between the two is gorgeous. Their love is never voiced, but you can feel it in every interaction.

And can I say that when they finally get together, I love how easy it feels?

to all the men who have stood without fear by romans

Hartwin vampire AU where Harry, instead of recruiting a young man into the service, has a taste for rent boys.

So this is fantastic with one hell of a twist.

For the sake of a simple thing by concernedlily 

At least in terms of ubiquitousness, Rentboy! Eggsy is the coffeeshop AU of Kingsman fandom, but @concernedlily elevates the trope to a new level in this fic. Harry is assigned to take Dean’s group down and Eggsy is his confidential informant.

The first thing that struck me about this fic is how gritty it is. There’s this low level tension that permeates the story and never lets up. Also, no glamour nor gloss here; the inglorious side of spycraft is emphasized. A lot of waiting, a lot of watching, a lot of politics and behind the scene machinations.

I was also struck by the writer’s empathy for Eggsy. Usually CIs are portrayed as craven and motivated by personal greed, but @concernedlily never lets you forget that Eggsy is the one taking all the risks, and he is the one with the most to lose. I remember feeling infuriated when Eggsy literally risks his life and limb (due to shoddy information) for an assignment.

Read it! The storytelling is top notch and the characterization of all the players, even the minor OCs is outstanding.  There’s a sequel as well, and it seems to lighter, thank goodness. I don’t know if I could take another equally intense follow-up.

A Long Way to Go by 221watson

Eggsy gets woke.

I love this fic for three reasons:

1. While class issues were discussed in Kingsman, nothing else was said about the lack of diversity of this mostly white, male, upper class group.So I enjoyed how @queercroft explored the prejudices that would exist in such an insular group.

2. The roles are reversed, and Eggsy is Harry’s teacher.

3. The emergence of Harry Hart, unapologetic feminist. (”…he even gets enthusiastic about it, because a gentleman should know his privilege, he says.”)  

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride [J-Hope]

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader
Genre: Fluffity fluffity fluff it’s all fluff and also bad humor
Word Count: 3320
Description: Who knew blind dates could go so RIGHT?

Author’s Note: wahey somehow all my latest fics have been hobi fics…coincidence? i think not. ANYWAYS it’s my faves birthday and i just love him so much so i avoided all my work and everything to write this i mean iw ould have avoided work anyways but whaTERVER THE POINT IS THAT I LOVE HIMA LOT A LOT A LOT i hope he has the nicest day and he knows that he is amazing and beautiful on the inside and the out and that he eats a lot of cake and gets a lot of compliments and presents..he is just so lovely..i love him sosososo much…,,,, now pls..enjoy my bad humor fic

“It’s not like I’m the bride,” you mutter, wedging your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you pick at a knot in your hair, making a face to yourself in the mirror as you feel how rough and matted your hair is. Your head is killing you, and all you want is to go back to bed, but apparently cake tasting is more important that you feeling like absolute death, and “Jesus, [Name], you knew we were going to choose a cake today, so I don’t give two shits about your stupid hangover and how you brought it on your own incompetent-at-drinking ass, but you are coming unless you want me to scream in your ear” so you’d just need to pop an aspirin (or, like, six) before you left.

“I know you’re not the bride, but I am, and I want all my bridesmaids to have a date.” You sigh, and Jiyeon tuts on the other end of the call. “Also you put yourself down with a plus one, and we’ve already set all the tables,” she whines.

You drop the length of knotted hair, and grab your hair in handfuls instead, shoving it into a messy, drooping knot, and picking up your toothbrush. “That was before my horrible, dreadful, bad breakup with my shitty, cheating, asshat of a boyfriend you, my dear, dear friend, promised to never mention, remember?

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Pairing: Minho/Key
Rating: PG
Length: 1.2k
Warnings: super crack-ish, attempts at humor. But no real warnings. 

Summary: Jonghyun is hell-bent on getting Minho and Key together.

“What if we push them under the mistletoe?” Jonghyun asked quietly. He, along with Jinki and Taemin, was watching how Minho and Kibum talked intimately in a corner of the apartment. The two of them were so meant to be, it was no longer funny how frustratingly obvious it was.

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West Italy

West Italy by lunar_mischief

Feliciano and Lovino realize they have a younger brother and must nurture him into a proper Italian. Warning: typical Italian antics and a very confused America.

Id: 1668971 - Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers - Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply - M/M - Rated: Teen And Up Audiences - English - Or not/poor poor america/seriously it’s all crack/it’s an anything can happen story/Forced Crossdressing/they really do mean well/but not in a malicious way/It’ll make sense eventually/Dresses/Avenger guest stars!/Avenger guest appearance!/nothing buck crack/Crack - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34771 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 3297 - Updated: 13 Mar 2017 - Relationships: [America (Hetalia)/Russia (Hetalia)]/[Greece (Hetalia)/Japan (Hetalia)]/[Canada (Hetalia)/Prussia (Hetalia)]/[South Italy (Hetalia)/Spain (Hetalia)]/[Germany (Hetalia)/North Italy (Hetalia)]/[Finland (Hetalia)/Sweden (Hetalia)]/[England (Hetalia)/France (Hetalia)] - Characters: South Italy (Hetalia: Axis Powers)/America (Hetalia: Axis Powers)/North Italy (Hetalia: Axis Powers) - Ongoing

My. GOD. I just re read and catch up with the latest update and be reminded again how much I love this fic! Besides its top notch humor, I just love how IC the author portrayed the characters! Especially Alfred, he’s very multi dimensional here! Really reallly reccomended if you love rom com with a big portion of comedy here!

‘Have you done with your huff Potter?’ Malfoy asked, and waited a moment for a response. When none was forthcoming, he went on, 'Only it’s been five hours and there’s a lot of work to do. It’s been a very good huff, I think you can call it successful – it skirted the borders of sulk without ever tipping into petulance, very fine work, almost Malfoyesque.’

Harry felt a smile flit across his face.

Malfoy took this for assent, and came into the room, lobbing his armful of papers onto Harry’s desk. 'You really do have no sense of humour,’ he announced. 'No wonder you never appreciated any of my brilliant jokes at school.’

'They were all designed to make me look like an idiot,’ Harry pointed out.

Malfoy did not say a word, very pointedly.

Harry groaned. 'Why would I need to do that, Potter?’ he asked in affected tones. 'When you are so brilliant at it yourself.’

'It’s as though you read my mind!’ Malfoy said gleefully.

—  For the Public Good, by blamebrampton
  • Eggsy: You've been avoiding me.
  • Harry: My dear boy, I've been doing no such—
  • Eggsy: Look, I don't know what's gotten into you. Are you pissed at me or something? What did I do?
  • Harry: You haven't done anything—
  • Eggsy: Really, Harry? Then why don't you look me in the eyes anymore? Why do you walk away whenever you see me? Why don't we talk, like before you got shot in the fuckin' head in Kentucky? Why have you been acting off since we found you—
  • Harry: In vain I have struggled; it will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
  • Eggsy: ...
  • Eggsy: Why the fuck didn't you say that earlier??
Tumblr Family!

This is random as all hell but I wanted to appreciate my mutuals and pretty much explain my relations with each!

@ham4fan-fiction is my momma! She is amazing and sweet and funny! She cares a lot about me like I’m her kid. She sends me snapchats between 3-4 times a day and it just makes me smile! She is also so so so beautiful.

@listenlyss is my twin! We are basically the same person. We don’t talk much anymore because of time differences and school but when we do, we can’t stop for hours! I LOVE her writing and her humor. She also helps me edit fics.

@notthrowingawaymyfood is also my sister! She is my dearest Alexander and I’m her dearest, Angelica. I try to talk to her as often as I can and try to help her edit fics. She is also one of my platonic crushes. I also enjoy her writing very much.

@iamnotthrowingawaymyshit is also a sister from a different mister! We try to talk often and when we do, she never fails to make me smile and laugh. I LOVED BTTP and she seems to like my works too. Tayah is just an angel!

I’ll be updating this as my Tumblr Family expands! If I forgot any other mutuals, I hope we can talk more and form a family-like bond like I have with these beautiful users. 💝💝💝

anonymous asked:

do you know any ot12/ot9 fics that's kaisoo centric and doesn't have a lot of smut? side pairings are ok :3 thank youu ~

Hi anon! 

I’m gonna be honest with you, and shamefully admit, that I don’t read a lot of fics with no smuttt xDDDD 

But I do know a few that involves ot12~ lol

A Certain Romance (Highschool!au, Fluff, humor, romance. Smuttt later on.. I really love this fic >< Kyungsoo is not into sports, but ends up joining the football team. The team captain of the rivaling team, Jongin, sparks an interest in him. Really love Soo’s character in this!)

Secrets That I Have Held In My Heart, Are Harder To Hide Than I Thought (Non!au, crack/humor, fluff, ot12. It’s about the rest of exo realizing that kaisoo are more than friends^^)   

The Milk Misadventure (Gangster!au, fluff, humor. This one is so cute and funny. So Nini is a mob boss and Soo is his assistant, Nini swears they’re not boyfriends, and then Soo gets kidnapped xD)

Try Not To Mess Up… (Teacher!au, fluff. I have this on my to-read list ;; It’s Nini’s first time teaching, and he falls in love with his assistant)

Insert An Epigram For Awkwardness Here (Greek mythology!au, romance, humor. Also on my to-read list. Nini is the God of Awkwardness, and Soo is the most awkward human on earth) 

Clubrooms & Weirdos (College!au, fluff, humor, ot12. From my to-read list. Jongin joins a club at school, and instantly falls for Kyungsoo. 

Gay Support Club (Angst. Ot12. I haven’t read this, but a friend of mine recommended it. And I think it’s pg-15?? Soo is bullied for being gay, and then joins a support club)

Michief Managed, Or, Sorta… (HP!au, romance, fluff, ot12. Haven’t read this either but, Soo has a huge crush on Nini, and makes him cupcakes. This seems to be more focused on ot12) 

In Bloom (Fluff, romance, ot12. Have heard a lot of great things about this fic, but haven’t read it yet. Nini is a florist and delivers flowers to Soo’s office, and then gets a crush on Soo, but is too shy to do anything about it) 

I’ve posted some Tony/Pepper recs all over the place and one day I will organize them properly, but that’s probably not going to be today. Instead, here, have the fruits of my diving back into this pairing because I still really, really have feelings about them. ♥

The Pregnancy Scare by igrockspock, tony/pepper, humor, 1k
    Pepper Potts has made it thirty-five years without a pregnancy scare. Unfortunately, she’s not going to make it thirty-six.
Domestic Bliss and Detours by foolyoulove, tony/pepper + other marvel characters, fluff, 20.7k
    Wherein Tony and Pepper decide that, despite the number of times one or both of them has almost died saving the world (or at least the metro area), maybe lifetime commitments and procreation aren’t terrible ideas… even if things don’t always turn out quite right.
Pale Queen by icarus_chained, tony/pepper + rhodey, 1.3k
    “Ask me to help you take over the world, Pepper Potts. Ask me to be your knight, and you my queen. Ask me that, ask me anything, and I will.”
Black and Blue by roboticonography, tony/pepper + other marvel characters, 1.5k
    Tony and Pepper attend a function with the rest of the Avengers. Steve practices his dancing skills. Tony not-so-secretly enjoys wearing a tux. Pepper feels like she’s at superhero prom.
As It Should Be by MusicalLuna, tony/pepper + the bots, humor, ~1k
    In the wake of Iron Man 3, there are three things Tony still needs to take care of. Three ‘bots, to be specific.
Silent Like the Grave by Arukou, tony/pepper, 5.8k
    The first night in the hospital, Tony sleeps like a baby. By the third night, he can barely sleep at all. The surgery was supposed to make everything better, but somehow he feels like he’s falling apart.
Ring of Fire by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl, tony/pepper + rhodey, 23.6k
    Why don’t we take a vacation?“ "Like the last vacation where you stole a race-car and we almost got sliced into ribbons by your crazy, tentacle-having nemesis?” She put her hand over her eyes, remembering the car she was in getting sliced in half.
Velveteen Rabbit by PutItBriefly, tony/pepper, im2 au, 16.2k
    Iron Man 2 AU. Soon after the onset of his palladium poisoning, Tony reveals the truth to Pepper – about his condition, and his feelings for her.
Invasive Maneuvers by PutItBriefly, tony/pepper + rhodey + natasha, 3.8k
    When their romantic getaway is ruined, Tony and Pepper learn their closest colleagues share a strange hobby.
Sometimes a Fantasy by PutItBriefly, tony/pepper, 1.7k
    “This is my 'she loves me’ fantasy, not a 'drill her like she’s never had before’ fantasy.”
Plus/Delta by PutItBriefly, tony/pepper + j.a.r.v.i.s., 3k
    A surprising assessment of their relationship.

full details + recs under the cut!

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Cocoa Puffs

author: madigraye

length: threeshot

word count: 39,705

rating: Not Rated (my rating: T)

author’s summary:

Somewhere between fake basketball matches and even faker marriages, Park Jimin learns that camp is for fun, and summer is for butterflies.

read it on ao3

don’t forget to leave kudos & comments on the work!

lapiccolina  asked:

So big fan here. I LOVE YOUR HUMOR. You honestly write some of the best humorous FS fic. LIKE FOR REAL. Also? JEZZA. I CARE SO MUCH FOR THAT CHARACTER!!! I JUST ADORE YOUR FIC.

*mwah* thanks :D :D 

I do love being silly and stupid and trying to make people laugh, so I’m glad I succeed in your case!

also: JEZZAAAAA. Love that big ol’ teddy bear :D


I started reading some of @lpwrites fics the other day and FELL IN LOVE

I don’t usually laugh or enjoy much humor in fics (angst angst angst I love to suffer) but I was CACKLING through every chapter and I just had to draw something

The first image is from All I Want and the others are from the pursuit of knowledge 

Go read them and enjoy!!

evilheroes  asked:

Hello amazing admins of an amazing blog! I love this blog! I love your fic recs and your humor and everything! I love that you always take into consideration all of the suggestions that your followers give you! Thank you for being awesome and continue the great job! You deserve all the followers you have and a lot more! Can you update the sterek college au tag? Thanks in advance!

YYYYOOOOOO!!!!!! YOU SAID YOU WANTED COLLEGE AUS AND DO I HAVE COLLEGE AUS FOR YOU?!?!?!?!?!? I HAVE A LOT OF THEM FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE THIS. I LOVE THIS A LOT. (Also, it would have been done sooner today, except Angsty stole my computer to read meta and just scroll through our dash. *CURSE YOU ANGSTY*) 

Also, I didn’t know what you wanted specifically, so I just grabbed some of my favorites and threw them in here. Thus, some of these will already have been recced and some of them might be reviewed in the future. 

you turned around and stole my heart by spock_flavored

2,468  I  one shot

Teen and Up

College baseball AU. What even is Stiles’ life.

A Goldfish in a Bowl by orphan_account

2,575  I  one shot


Stiles really, really hates his roommate. He’s too clean, too quiet, too ruggedly handsome, and it’s just not fair. People like Stiles Stilinski aren’t supposed to hit the kinda-sorta jackpot and end up roommates with people like Derek Hale. Plus, Derek keeps walking in whenever Stiles is trying to have “Happy Manly Alone Time.”

The Future’s Open Wide by cheesewithmy

4,147  I  one shot

Teen and Up

AU. Stiles snaps his fingers, rocking forward on the chair and grinning, “Oh, oh man, Derek’s the Magneto of werewolf rights! You’ve been invited the join the Brotherhood of Evil Werewolves.”

Yo Hablo Español by themistymountainsong

4,519  I  one shot

Teen and Up

“That Spanish poetry class I’m taking- the final is now a take-home. We have to write poetry, Erica.”

“And that’s what has you so freaked out?” she says, laughing. “Derek, you’re a lit major- how have you never had to write poetry before?”

I’ve- I’ve had to write poetry before, but this isn’t, it’s-” Derek puts his face in his hands. “It’s erotic poetry,” he says, his voice muffled into his palms. Erica bursts into cackles, and Derek lifts his head to glare at her. “It’s really not that funny.”

there are rows & rows & rows by magneticwave

4,621  I  one shot

Teen and Up

NOTE: This is a genderbend

There are at least fourteen things Danny would much rather be doing right now, including sawing off his own arm and stabbing puppies with knives, and yet he’s still here, around the corner from their Econ lecture hall, coaching Stiles through asking their TA out for coffee.

Green Means Go (and Sex) by literaryoblivion

5,319  I  one shot


Stiles is more than a little disappointed to see a sea of red and yellow when he enters the party. He is already halfway through his second semester of college, and he has yet to have anything remotely resembling a hookup, not even a steamy make-out session with some over the pants groping. He thinks maybe he shouldn’t have come expecting anything else at a stoplight party on Valentine’s Day.

Only… he saw a certain someone named Derek Hale post on Facebook that he was coming to this party, and Stiles kind of wanted to see what color he was wearing and fantasize about possibly having a chance with him.

Second-hand bookshops are the new romantic backdrops by RonnieMinor

6,902  I  one shot  I  part 1 of 3 of this series

General Audiences

In which our hero moves to England, has an only slightly petrifying best friend, works in a bookshop, oh, and meets Derek.


Silence In The Computer Lab by charlesdk

8,043  I  2/2

General Audiences

Derek has way too much studying to do and is running on way too little sleep and way too much coffee. So of course, that’s when this little asshole comes in and ruins his day completely.

Hot for Teacher(’s Aide) by linksofmemories

8,050  I  one shot

Teen and Up

“He invited you to his apartment.”

“To do a lesson plan.”

“Yeah and to probably lesson your plan while you’re there,” Scott said, waggling his eyebrows.

“That made no sense, but you still managed to make it sound dirty,” Stiles said. “I’m impressed.”

Varsity Jacket. by Handsofred

8,979  I  one shot

General Audiences

‘’Who’s he?’’ Stiles had found himself whispering to Isaac who was sat next to him, their eyes watching as Danny, Boyd and Jackson had wondered over to the table where the darker haired boy had appeared.
‘’Derek Hale, captain of the football team’’ Isaac had replied in a mono tone, his own eyes drifting back to his lunch and books which had been scattered around them and amongst Stiles’ own as he sat and stared across the quad. ‘’I wouldn’t bother, Derek doesn’t date’’ Isaac’s tone that lunch had been dry, like he knew the real story behind the boy called Derek.

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prophaecy-deactivated20150608  asked:

hello, you lovely person you!!! i was wondering if you knew of any good fics where draco/harry (preferably both, but one is fine!) are healers? i really love fics where there's lots of great side characters and humor, and the longer the better. i'd really appreciate it, thank you!!!

Yeah I do! These are some awesome, awesome fics. Really recommend reading every one of them. Enjoy, and please leave some love for the authors!

Drarry Recs: Healers

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 - NC-17, 15.5k - As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

At the Crossroads There We’ll Meet by firethesound - NC-17, 24.5k - Potter keeps dying; Draco keeps saving him.

Collect Your Courage by mervab - NC-17, 44k - Potter needs control; Draco needs forgiveness. They shag; Lavender gives advice; they yell; Seamus makes muffins; they fight; and everyone else drinks far too much coffee for their own wellbeing.

Doctor! Doctor! (Is this love I’m feeling?) by khasael - R, 20k - For the first time ever, Harry agrees to seek medical help when he feels ill. His Auror colleagues are amazed, and most of the St Mungo’s staff are starstruck, but when it keeps happening, Draco suspects Harry has a hidden agenda. And he’s right.

Foundations!verse by Sara’s Girl - (G-NC-17, 364k) - Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

Hello, China! by Nattish - NC-17, 20k - In a world where Voldemort has been defeated but the Death Eaters remain at large, Harry Potter is a war colonel leading a regiment across Muggle Eurasia. When he’s injured in the line of duty, he refuses treatment from anyone except Healer Malfoy, who is befuddled but perfectly willing to find out what this means.

On Fingers Broken Long Ago by oflights - M, 91k - After a ten year absence, Harry returns to his old life in England to find Draco Malfoy at the center of it. A tale of rekindling old flames, unlikely inter-House alliances, angry Hufflepuffs, and medical mysteries ensues. (and sequels Bound to Linger On (M, 23.5k) and Tunnels (M, 18k))

On One’s Knees by pir8fancier - NC-17, 34k - The war is over and to the victor go the spoils.

Thou Art More Lovely by writcraft - NC-17, 8.5k - When Harry Potter is cursed by an innocuous looking book, he is rendered incapable of speaking in anything other than rhyming verse.  Harry struggles through his treatments with a gleeful Healer Malfoy all while faced with the prospect of becoming the Wizarding world’s worst poet in living memory.  Things take a turn for the worst when Harry discovers that the curse has its own unusual and typically poetic cure.

Unkissed Kisses and Songs Never Sung by femmequixotic - M, 12.5k - I sit silently in the shadows, staring at the tiny, pulsing ball of light that tells me my Harry’s still alive.

anonymous asked:

I'm sure you have a lot of prompts for this, but I've read a lot of your fic and I love your sense of humor. I'm not saying this to flatter you so you pick up my prompt (maybe a little bit:)) but could you write a little tiny short ficlet about Gillian arriving at David's place this weekend? I'm sure you can make something funny and fluffy :) Thank you!

Weird how it feels like home, she thinks when she enters his apartment with her own keys. Everything is at the same place than last time she went, she even recognizes the cushions and the painting she’d bought him. Unfortunately, the green carpet is here too. She’ll try again to make him burn it again this time, even if she knows the battle is already lost.

She’s so tired after this long flight that she heads directly to his bed for a little nap, leaving her suitcase in the living room. She knows he’s filming in L.A and can’t join her before a couple days, but he’d told her to make herself home. His bedroom had always had a particular scent. A sweet mix of sandalwood with a hint of his very own characteristic smell. It brings a lot of good old souvenirs to her memory and she shivers at the thought that soon, she’d have a bunch of new ones.

There’s a little white envelope on the bed that she hasn’t noticed before she pulls the comforter to slip under. She opens it and finds an handwritten note.

I thought about telling you how happy I am that you decided to stay here with me. I thought about telling you how much I miss you. I thought about telling you that I thought about you every minute of every day for the last 64 days, 15 hours, 10 minutes and 12 seconds. 13 seconds. I thought about telling you how much I love you and how much I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and feel your skin against mine. I could have told you all those things, but I didn’t. I just wanted to let you know that there’s meat in the fridge.

‘The Lady Amalthea is a unicorn,’ said John, narrowly avoiding a knife. Sherlock really was a terrible magician, but you never knew with magicians. 'And if I know my mythology right, and if I understand quests – which I do – you’re shirking your duty to help her with her destiny.’

'I’m looking for the path to the bull,’ said Sherlock. 'Her quest ends there and I daresay it will be the end of us all. Her place in the story grows every day and soon she’ll be so woven into it that to take her out will mean unravelling everything that has ever been. Or everything that is to come. Unicorns change time, or they control clocks. The legends aren’t clear.’

'You’re a very unreliable detective,’ said John, frowning.

Sherlock flushed, and said, sullenly, ‘this castle is nothing but rumour and hearsay. It laughs every time I try magic. It cries every time I ask questions. I’ve figured out the skull belongs to Haggard’s dead wife, and the clock has chimed every hour since the start of time. I know when the last king decided to recarpet the library, and why. But try and find something as simple as a staircase and you end up with your head in a paper bag trying not to hyperventilate.’


from The King Is In His Counting House by Rhuia (2,571 words)

Sherlock / The Last Unicorn. I loved this! Humorous, direct, and unexpected. This fic starts with TLU canon, replacing Schmendrick with Sherlock and Leer with John and then heads off in a slightly different but utterly delightful direction, while still maintaining the tone you’d expect from this verse.

anonymous asked:

Hey vppa, would you mind maybe sharing your thoughts about 2seok (Seokjin/Hoseok)? I come to you because you're the queen of Jin shipping and its a pairing I find myself beginning to be intrigued by but cannot quite figure out. Only if you want to though!! Feel free to ignore otherwise. Hope you're having a wonderful day dearest <3

Oh man, yeah! Yeah of course I’d love to! (And I’m not the queen of Jin shipping nooo ah!!) I feel you though, 2seok is a pairing that I still can’t quite get a grasp on but I’d love to share my thoughts, as unorganized as they are!

First of all Seokjin and Hobi are both known as the mothers of Bangtan. Where Seokjin cooks, Hobi cleans and much like Yoongi, 2seok is constantly looking after their dongsaengs, doting esp on the maknae line. Though Hoseok tends to be loud and Seokjin is more quiet, they can both be quite warm and I guess caring in general. I feel like a lot of 2seok moments would be spent in comfortable silence or long winding discussions whenever they’re not laughing their asses off over some lame joke (which is probably often).

One thing I love is that they are so complimentary of each other, I mean Hoseok is always saying how handsome he is, how much he loves Jin’s cooking. And of course lately Seokjin is constantly raving about how handsome Hobi is, how he loves that Hoseok is in the center nowadays and maybe it’s just me but I feel like Hobi must’ve said something or expressed some feeling of inadequacy (he’s so hard on himself ;-;) that Seokjin literally all of a sudden just started throwing compliments at him?? IDK I just love it okay there is so much love

ANYWAY I think I might’ve mentioned it elsewhere but Hoseok is pretty touchy with all the members, but for some reason for me 2seok’s skinship feels almost unconscious? I don’t really know how he is with the other members because I wear Seokjin goggles 25/8 but from what I see of 2seok, they’re full of linked arms and casual touches and happy hugs, except they don’t even quite realize it themselves? Like their skinship doesn’t seem like it’s exaggerated for the camera like sometimes Hobi does to get some laughs. Ah idk, Hoseok mentioned that him and Jin have always been together since the trainee days and they just seem like kind of a comfortable ship that you don’t really notice because…they’re just so comfy with one another? I mean even in fic, I’d have an extremely difficult time ever coming up with a first-meeting idea for them, they just seem like the type to already have an established relationship or possibly a friends with benefits type situation (though I love and maybe prefer humorous 2seok fics). What am I even saying anymore idk but here are some 2seok gifs (why are there only like five to chose from??):

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Originally posted by altarboys-alteredboys

Originally posted by eatjin

And here are some really great 2seok fics that I’ve really enjoyed: