i love how this turned out. the colouring in the centre one especially

Who is Kai?

♡ Kim Jongin

♡ “Nini”

♡ The biggest chicken lover after sehun

♡ Also the maknae

♡ V I S U A L

♡ dance line

♡ Unique voice

♡ Also raps in some of their concerts

Worships loves dogs

♡ P E R F E C T  H U S B A N D  M A T E R I A L

♡ i really don’t know where to start this boy is too perfect

♡ We all know exo is made of visuals

Originally posted by jonginssoo

♡ but he is a legend

♡ Many people criticised him for his dark skin including his members

♡ Which is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen

♡ He is so unique in every possible way

♡ He is literally art

♡ his pouty face

♡ his resting bitch face

♡ his sleepy face

♡ his angry face

♡ his smiley face

♡ his hungry face

♡ his “told ya” face

♡ his proud face

♡ his scared face

♡ his surprised face

♡ All of them are art

♡ All of them are handsome

Originally posted by kaimilky

♡ He looks good in every hair colour

♡ Photo shoots are made for kim kai

♡ Model material

♡ So perfect

♡ His lips are amazing

Originally posted by intokai

♡ As well as his face

and ass

♡ He is a gift from above

♡ He is really cute

♡ another cinnamon roll from exo

♡ is so giggly

♡ but so cute

♡ forgot his members name on a special press conference

♡ soft

Originally posted by malectrash256

his smile melts my heart

♡ He is a plushy giggly lovely kid

♡ should be protected

♡ and he will be

♡ he is a cute child sent from above but

♡ don’t be fooled so easily


♡ He knows what we want

♡ he gives us what we want

♡ He is one of the rudest members

♡ He has to turn every and anything into something rude

♡ he ain’t joking around with that blindfold

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

♡ he is literally an exo-l’s dream and nightmare

♡ his hip thrusts 

can get you pregnant

♡ ive been waiting for that child’s support since 2014

♡ his body waves are so smooth and hot

♡ He knows what he’s doing

♡ Is dirty-minded

♡ Sehun and kai went to a chinese mukbang show as guests

♡ And the lady made a dick joke and kai was the only one who understood while sehun was the innocent baby

♡ Is really goooooood at smirking

♡ Has the best smirk

♡ Exo-l have been suffering

♡ He can ruin your day with his smirk

♡ he can make your day with his smirk

he can basically fuck you up

Originally posted by jonginssoo

♡ he is an angel and the demon himself at the same time

♡ And remember

♡ Even if he’s not ur bias or bias wrecker

impossible lol

♡ Or even if u don’t stan exo


♡ The real dancing king

♡ him,lay and sehun slay every exo-ls life

did we have a life tho?

♡ nope thanks to exo

♡ His moves are smooth af

♡ He was literally born to dance

♡ His body is capable of moving so professionally

♡ he also works hard for it

♡ His best friend except the members

♡ Taemin

I hear people screaming yaaaass

♡ There’s this soft friendship called

♡ Taekai

Originally posted by tobeautifuldisaster

♡ It’s the best friendship ever

♡ where one of them films the other while he’s crying and telling him to stop

♡ Also where one of them dances less boldly so the other gets as much attention

♡ “Pretty Boy” by kim taekai

They’re seriously so pretty wtf

♡ They’re both rude fluff balls

♡ He also has a good relationship with nct’s ten

Exo has the best relationship with nct since nct is their child

♡ Taekai’s photo shoot was ranked as one of the sexiest photo shoots ever

since they’re both rude af

♡ Which brings us to Krystal

Originally posted by lightheartedfun

Bitch get  out they’re having a moment

♡ They’ve been dating since 2015 but they broke up last month

I don’t want y’all to hate me but i dislike jung sisters and i didn’t like the two of them together from the beggining so “told ya kai”

♡ P.s. Kyungsoo was so happy and laughing,having the time of his life before the day the break up was announced

He knows it


♡ A hoe for ksoo

♡ They have the best married couple award along with xiuchen

♡ Kai like to eat—>kyungsoo loves to cook

i hear my kaisoo shippers

♡ They’re so adorable

♡ They’re the perfect match

Originally posted by gsynys

he wants to eat him

♡ kai has so many ships and they call baek the hoe of the group lmfao

♡ Let’s ship him with food as well

♡ He loooves food

as much as he loves ksoo

♡ Chicken is his life goal

♡ Fried,boiled,in any form

♡ the love of his life after ksoo and dogs

♡ I love the way he eats lol

♡ he eats like its his last meal

♡ A soft baby appearing

♡ Since we shipped him with like 8773839 things and people 

♡ Ship him with dogs

♡ He absolutely loves them

♡ another member of exo who’s love is a dog i mean chanyeol and sehun

or multiple dogs

♡ His dog is the biggest one out of all the dogs members have

♡ he also has lovely relationship with his members

♡ Especially with sehun since they’re both maknaes

♡ But also with any other member

♡ wants to a part of the beagle line

♡ is a secret member with sehun

♡ Chan and him had a car date where they went to a gaming centre but there wasn’t enough place

♡ Also goes shopping with his hyungs

♡ His vlives are so amazing

♡ He didn’t know how to use it first but now

♡ he’s “kai the pro”

♡ Invites his hyungs and films vlives together

♡ He is actually an emotional kid but he doesn’t like to show his sad feelings

♡ Cried during several performances

♡ He wears his expensive ass shoes really mindlessly

♡ but its ok coz he rich

♡ also didn’t shave when they filmed 5 year anniversary on vlive

♡ had a mask


♡ He and chanyeol have really unique voices

♡ Deep and soothing

♡ “OMMAYA~~~~”

♡ His voice is not the typical KIdol voice which is so incredible

Originally posted by jonginssmilee

♡ He is a soft child who’s on his way to become your ultimate bias wrecker.Send him lots of love and protect him ♡ 

18 (Ethan)


The room was buzzing as everyone gathered around to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to your boyfriend Ethan and his twin brother, Grayson. The night had been filled with music, dancing, and general party fun. Ethan and Grayson had sworn they weren’t going to have a big party but their older sister, Cameron, had insisted otherwise. 

“You guys have to celebrate! It’s your 18th birthday! Besides, how often are you home in Jersey the same time all our cousins are down? They’d be disappointed if you didn’t have a party.” 

Ethan shook his head, frowning. Both he and Grayson, ridden with social anxiety at times, generally didn’t like loud or crowded situations. Especially when they were both the centre of attention but you had assured Ethan with a squeeze of his hand in your own that you’d be there with him the whole way through. You had spent majority of that week planning the party with Cameron and you even had a small surprise for Ethan of your own later that night. A trip to Victoria’s Secret and you were ready to blow his mind. You had reserved a hotel room for you and Ethan that night because somehow his childhood bedroom didn’t really seem like a very romantic or sexy setting.

Keep reading

Plucking Petals

Wanna One’s Lee Daehwi X Reader

Word count: 3582


• flower boy cafe! Daehwi ( oh god i’d pay to see that 😂 )
• your friends really like this cafe…especially Daehwi ;)
• you just don’t get the hype
• but Daehwi hyPES YOU UP 110%
• ft. bffs Lisa and Somin

tbh…. I haD ZERO ZILCH CLUE WHAT A FLOWER BOY CAFE WAS WE DON’T HAVE IT HERE but I now know because of my intellectual friend @woojinstinygf  tysm beb 💓
Daehwi would fit this I hate it he fits everything how dare he
anyways, I hope my lack of experience with flower boys ( or boys in general ) doesn’t come off strongly. Thank you for requesting this anon ! :)
- admin L
fun fact: Daehwi and I have the same uneven eyelids ‘problem’ but he has taught me to recognise them as a cute trait better.


“Oh my god, oh my god Y/N please! Please!” Your best friend, Lisa, begged. “Please! Please! I’m begging you right now.” She grabbed your hands in hers and tugged on them gently.

For the past half hour, Lisa and Somin had been pleading with you to hang out at the new flower boy cafe that had just opened in your estate. Somehow, your best friends were crazy for the idea of cute guys, cakes and aegyo but the thought of it made you feel a little sick. Of course, it was nice to have cuties attending to your every need but it was all a fabricated fantasy and you didn’t exactly like your feelings to be played with. Your friends had been there without you twice but they had enough of going by themselves and thus, were nearly on their knees for this.

“Please! It’s almost my birthday!” Somin pointed out, sticking out her bottom lip. You shot her a flat look. “That shit doesn’t work on me, Somin,” you fired back, referring to her puppy dog face.

Y/N, how bad could it be? Isn’t it her birthday soon anyways? Just endure that place for a little while then you can leave. Maybe it isn’t as bad as you think. A voice inside of your head piped up. 

You groaned. “I hate you guys so much.”

“Does that mean you are agreeing?” Lisa pestered.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “But now, I will consider it…more than last time. I’ll think about it.”

Somin beamed and clapped. “Yes! I know you would cave in!”

“Y/N, did you know that Lee Daehwi is working there for the summer?” Lisa blushed, nearly letting out a squeal of delight.

Ahh, Lee Daehwi. He was the president of the English Language Drama and Debate Society ( ELDDS ) of another college not far from the one you attended. You had seen him at plays once or twice and even complimented his good looks. Daehwi was incredibly smart and well-mannered but he also emitted this aura of enthusiasm. Flower boy cafes were bound to be his thing, it didn’t come as a shock. He had the brains and beauty, it was no mystery as to why people fawned over him.

“I’m sure that cafe would be flooding with people because of him! All the more we must go! Daehwi is a limited time offer!”

“Stop objectifying him.” You said flatly.

“Sorry…but you know what I mean! Don’t you think you would look cute with him?” Lisa suggested, wiggling her eyebrows. Somin ‘oohed’ and high fived Lisa, smirking.

You nearly spit out the water you were drinking. You coughed violently, trying to pump out the water from your lungs. Once you had more or less regained your senses, you continued. “What? What! Lisa! Stop it, that’s too much. Don’t be like this, for both our sakes.”

Lisa tsked. “Just wait and see, Y/N. No one can withstand the charms of Lee Daehwi.”

You pursed your lips together, they were coated with a new shade of red today. “We have to see, Lisa. We shall see.”

Lee Daehwi wasn’t going to steal your heart, you were sure of it. No matter how flowery his words may be.

Somin’s birthday quickly approached and it was her wish that she could celebrate it at the flower boy cafe with you and Lisa. At first, you opposed as strongly as you normally would have but softened when you realised how irrational you were being. It was your best friend’s birthday, it was going to be her day.

So you sucked it up and agreed to celebrate in the flower boy cafe with your friends. To say they were ecstatic was an understatement.

“Guys? What are you doing here?” You asked, wide-eyed and still clad in your pyjamas. You examined every inch of your best friends, they were well dressed, hair curled and probably had much more makeup on than usual. They looked ready for the red carpet. “Oh! Happy birthday Somin!”

Somin squealed and hugged you, “Ahh, Lisa, we have one hour to transform this ugly duckling into a beautiful swan!”

You didn’t know whether to be insulted or insulted flattered.

Against your will, you were thrown into a hot bath with scented rose petals which you didn’t even know existed, so it came as a shock when Lisa plucked it out from the cabinet under the sink. It was like she knew your life more than you did.

Once you were all fresh and clean, Somin dried your hair while Lisa began applying makeup to your face. “Yah, I envy your skin so much. So smooth, you should be in an Innisfree commercial,” Lisa said.

“Did you guys know that Daehwi was in an Innisfree commercial? I’m pretty sure some shops still screen his photoshoot. It was a blessing,” Somin announced, her eyes clouded over as if she was dreaming. “Lee Daehwi…..”

You clapped your hands in her face to signal that your scalp was getting too hot from the hair dryer. “Somin, …please concentrate! My hair is going to catch fire!” You shrieked but ended up laughing and nearly smacking the bb cushion out of Lisa’s hand.

For the next hour or so, you let your friends doll you up in preparation for your first and last time ever setting foot in that damned cafe. Somin looked every bit the part of a party princess from her black crop top and red mini skirt, delicate golden crown earrings hung from her ears. No one would be able to take her eyes off her. But her gaze was fixated on you and tears nearly welled up in her eyes. “You…look amazing! Thank you for agreeing to go with us! My birthday would not be the same without you.”

You could only hug and reassure her that as long as she was your best friend, you would do almost anything for her.

Even going to weird flower boy cafes.

I take that back………..Why did I agree to go to this ridiculous place?

Today’s concept appeared to be flowers, flowers and more flowers. Every single waiter had either a flower crown on his head or some sort of flower related ornament as part of his 'uniform’.

How is this legal?

You tentatively shuffled a step forward into the cafe.

“Hello! Woah, someone call God because I think he sent down an angel.” A voice complimented, it’s owner gently placed your hand in his before bending down to kiss it. “I’m Daehwi, at your service.”

It took you everything to not recoil and punch some sense into the president of English Language Drama and Debate Society, his pickup lines were awful! (bomb pickup lines created by yours truly™) Instead, you forced a smile on your face and gently removed your hand from his grip. Apparently, that wasn’t the reaction he had been hoping for, he pouted and whined in a small voice. “Am I not cute enough for you?” Daehwi allowed his puppy dog eyes to take centre stage, behind you, your friends were bursting with happiness, you could pretty much feel it radiating off them.

You had to admit, this scene surprisingly fit him well, plus, he was naturally adorable so it made his aegyo either ten times more cringy or ten times cuter. For now, you could tolerate it. You sighed, “You are adorable. Could you please show us to our table?”

Have Somin and Lisa suddenly become mute? Why am I doing all the talking?

Daehwi snatched a couple menus off their place at the cashier and nodded. “Certainly, right this way.”

You couldn’t help but admire his legs in those skinny jeans as he walked. ( i nEed to mAkE SURE MY BABIES ARE GETTING FED )

“You must be tired since you have been running through my head,” he proclaimed, shooting you a suave wink as he pulled out a plush velvet chair. You opened your mouth to protest but Somin and Lisa had already settled onto the love seat across and sent you a 'zip up’ gesture. Without an audible reply, you sunk into the armchair and quickly grabbed a menu in hopes of Daehwi taking the signal and leaving you alone. Quite the contrary, he took this opportunity to kneel down to your level and pushed the card down so your eyes met his. It was then that you realised how gorgeous his eyes were, especially his unevenly folded double eye lids, they made him more quirky and unique.

“Did you know? I’m sweeter than all these things written on the menu combined?” Daehwi said smoothly, fluttering his long eyelashes.

You giggled despite how lame it was, satisfied with finally eliciting a reaction out of you, Daehwi bounced away but hung around his group of tables. The other customers whispered about his obvious attention directed towards you. You tried hard to tune out to those, cheeks already turning red.

“Ahhh, and who said they would hate this place forever?” Lisa teased, squealing. You frowned at her, shaking your head but the pinkness of your cheeks was a contrast to what you said. “S-stop it.” You stuttered out. You nearly smacked yourself for being so affected by Daehwi’s actions.

He does this to like two hundred other customers three times a day. Why are you so affected? Get a grip, Y/N! Stop feeling so special. It’s literally his job, it’s not like he likes you.

“Yah! You’re crushing so bad on Daehwi right now! Look at your face!” Somin giggled, she subtly pointed to the boy with silvery dirty blonde hair who was fixing his peach coloured flower crown and let out a small annoyed huff when it didn’t seem to cooperate with him.

It was true, Daehwi was the most charming boy you had laid your eyes on. Major crush material, huge boyfriend material.

You smiled smugly, playing with a lock of your perfectly curled hair courtesy of Somin.

You weren’t going to fall for the flower boy, you were going to make the flower boy fall for you.

Daehwi set your cup of tea down on the coaster without messing up any of the intricately displayed macaroon towers - Somin had insisted on it -.


You were mildly impressed he hadn’t messed up on anything yet. Before he left, he tapped you on the shoulder and made a heart with his fingers before pressing it to his plush lips and blowing you a kiss. Though you were screaming internally, you kept your unfazed look on and pretended to catch it, only to crush it and let it go. It did hurt when the smile on Daehwi’s face fell but he quickly recovered.

“Does Y/N not like Daehwi? Daehwi is hurt!” He wailed, sticking out his bottom lip and crossing his arms over his chest. ( guys kms idk how to describe aegyo and I’m not good at it either ) “Can Daehwi show you more aegyo? Will you love me then?”

Oh my god. He should be paid double to act like this.

Without any warning, ( someone come collect their mans ) he cupped the sides of his face and squished his cheeks together, furrowing his brows and pouting. “Y/N? Do you like me now?” ( bOii I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO YOU LIKE thIS )

He’s so extra……

“Daehwi, you’re already prettier than the flowers in your hair,” you complimented sincerely.

For the first time, Lee Daehwi, the confident, assured President became flustered. His eyes went as large as tea cup saucers and he opened his mouth multiple times wordlessly. He covered up with his 'bbuing bbuing’ and shuffled back to the counter, pink blush extremely prominent. Another boy with black hair saw what had happened and punched Daehwi’s arm playfully, repeating his actions and mocking him.

He seems like a perfect fit for Somin. Doesn’t Lisa know him from somewhere? School? Oh! They were in the same theatre department before he graduated.

She hid her face when you glanced at her. Lisa reached over and smacked your shoulder, grinning. She raised her hand.

“Seongwoo oppa, it’s Somin’s birthday today. Does she get anything…I don’t know…special?” Lisa tapped a finger on her lip, looking deep in thought.


“Somin! Oh gosh, happy birthday!” Seongwoo wished her, a bright smile on his face as he plucked out a flower crown from his apron pocket and placed it on her head. Seongwoo took her hand in his and kissed hers gently. You struggled to hold in your giggles.

Back in the kitchen, Daehwi was plucking petals off a daisy violently. “She loves me, she loves me not….she loves me, she loves me not. She…..”

His best friend, Bae Jinyoung, saw the state he was in and sighed. “Yah, Daehwi, just tell Y/N how you feel.”

“I can’t! I’ve liked her for so long yet I’m messing up every chance here! Why is my job so hard!” It was his eighteenth time re-tying the flower crown around his head, a sign of his anxiety increasing. Eventually, he gave up and let his bangs flop, it was long enough to conceal both eyes.

At least it hides my weird eyelids…..Wait, why tf is Jaewhan hyung mopping the floor now? Daehwi wondered as he exchanged his half bare daisy for the tray Jinyoung had arranged nicely. Suddenly, as if a light bulb ignited, he had an idea. Without a second thought, he gracefully used the lack of friction to his advantage and slid all the way to your table, tray balanced in hand. Daehwi made eye contact with you and delivered his line perfectly. “That’s how I slid into your DMs, babygirl.” ( fckboi alert! )

Your small smile was nowhere near Somin and Lisa’s excited clamours. Disappointed, Daehwi hastily set the tray down and rushed back to the kitchen. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans and Jaewhan’s cleaning skills were terrible.

Too!! Much!! Soap!!

He let out a tiny yelp as he slipped on the damn patches of marble, landing with a thump.

Without thinking, you rushed out of your seat to check if he was all right. “Daehwi! Oh my god! Are you hurt?” Your hands found his, you helped him to his feet, completely unaware of the eyes boring holes into your back.

“Oh! Your flower crown!” You retrieved it from the ground and carefully nestled it on Daehwi’s curls. “No prince is complete without his crown,” you blurted out before slapping a hand over your mouth.

“I-I…I think I just fell for you,” Daehwi declared, pun-intended. You gaped at him in disbelief and lightly slapped his shoulder, unable to stop the laughter.

“You’re awful.”

“But you love me.”

“No, your aegyo sucks.”

He gasped in mock offence, eyebrows creased, arms folded, cute little foot stomp. “Yah! Daehwi’s aegyo is the best! I can do the gwiyomi song for you!”

“Don’t you do that for everyone,” you pointed out. “I never come here. Make my first time special.” You trotted back to your seat in triumph, not really sure what you were happy about though. Maybe it was because you challenged a cutie to do something special, personalised just for you.

Somin and Lisa’s jaws dropped, however, there was still some sort of smugness and 'I knew it’ that emitted off them. ( you know, 'pretends to be shocked’ )

The rest of the went by joyously, you were glad to catch up with your best friends even though you saw them every single day. Lisa updated you with the latest gossip - “Did you know that Lai Guanlin hasn’t been in school recently? People think he’s travelled back to Taiwan to train as a professional basketball player.” “Everyone thinks that Ha Sungwoon is in love with his sugar daddy, Yoon Jisung. I ship it.” - Somin unwrapped her presents - “Because I want to capture you crying on camera.” - and pulled a fake shocked look many times yet cried in the end. Seongwoo was there to dry her tears.

Shameless couple.

Daehwi had not returned to your table since then, in fact, he didn’t seem to be in the cafe anymore and that sparked your curiosity. When you asked Ong, he shrugged and apologised. You hoped you would see Daehwi at least once more before leaving but when it was Seongwoo and Park Jihoon who carried out Somin’s birthday cake, you began to lose hope of seeing him ever again.

Maybe I’ll just start attending school plays more often….just for Daehwi. I’m so hung up about this I can’t help it.

With Lisa at your table, the cake disappeared in record time. It was no surprise, really. You took time to savour the sweetness, creaminess and softness. Also an excuse to spend extra time here waiting for Daehwi to make an appearance.

“Y/N has got it so bad for the flower boy! Finally! I thought she’d never like someone,” Somin rejoiced. “You have to thank us if you do end up dating him, Y/N. Two of us made it happen.”

“I’ll ask him out only if you kiss Seongwoo…uh, on the cheek of course,” you retorted back, taking a sip of your beverage.

Where! Is! Lee! Daehwi!

Somin groaned and her eyes narrowed. “Fine, if that’s how you want things to be.”

It was an easy task for her. Somin never struggled with dating, regardless of who it was.

“Let’s go. We still have about three other cafes to go to before the sun downs,” Lisa beckoned, grabbing her fancy cross body bag.

“I can get the bill. You guys can pay me back later.” You marched over to the cashier. “Yo, Seongwoo, are you sure you don’t know where Lee Daehwi is?” you hissed.

Seongwoo bit his lip, sighing. “Okay, okay. He just told Jaewhan to cover for him and ran. His break is ending in a couple of minutes though but it doesn’t seem like he’s in the area.”

“Oh….” Your face fell, mildly upset. “It’s fine. Thanks. How much?”

Seongwoo told you the price and you nearly dropped dead. “I can add a 20% employee discount! You guys are my friends anyway.” He tapped a few buttons and the price decreased. Still, it blew a hole in your wallet, bank account dented.

“Thank you, Seongwoo oppa! Please date Somin. Please!” You chirped. He laughed.

All of a sudden, the door to the back room burst open and a frantic Lee Daehwi came tumbling out. He looked like he had returned from running a marathon. His apron wasn’t on and his flower crown was lopsided but in his arms was a bouquet of deep red roses, all fresh and lush. “Y/N!” He rushed to your side, somewhat out of breath and flushed.

“Daehwi? Are you okay? What happened?” You quizzed worriedly. Why was he so anxious? Did he run? In those ridiculous shoes?

“Y/N, you-you called me a prince just now but what prince would be fit without his princess. Here, I-I bought these for you. I hope you enjoyed your time here, no matter how much you hate this place.” Daehwi beamed hopefully at you, placing the flowers in your arms.

“Daehwi….you didn’t have to!” You squeaked, lost for words. You covered the left side of your face with your hand, avoiding other customers gazes.

“Y/N, I’ve never done this for anyone. You are saved in my heart,” he paused to perform his aegyo.  ( Park Jeojang is shaking! ) “I’ve had a crush on you for forever. Ever since I saw you at one of the debate tournaments supporting Somin. I fumbled so much in my speech because of you. Then, I managed to know more about you through your friends as creepy as it sounds. Now I’m confessing, oh god. How crazy is this?” He babbled, clearly flustered and worried. His face reddened and his eyes could only linger on the floor. His weird shoes scuffed together.

“Hey, Y/N!” Somin yelled, once she had your attention, she pressed a quick peck to Seongwoo’s cheek, right on his constellation. He grabbed her hand and pulled her close. “So, what are you doing later on?”

Oh my god.

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, your grip on the roses grew tighter. “Uh, Daehwi?” He looked up at you, smiling shyly.

“Thank you, I’m flattered but-”

The crestfallen look that crossed his face as enough to make anyone burst into tears. Your hand enclosed his, squeezing it comfortingly.

“But, are you free tomorrow?”

“Considering the fact that dyeing my hair alone cost $350, I’m worth a dime. But princesses deserve diamonds.” Daehwi winked cutely despite his heart gradually cracking.

“Let’s go on a date. Call me,” you managed to squeak out without messing up before slipping him a napkin with your number scribbled on it. You winked as you let go of his hand and practically skipped out of the shop, leaving a shell-shocked Daehwi in it. He gaped at your disappearing figure for a good thirty seconds and then neatly folded the napkin before stuffing it into his wallet. His blush was comparable to the strawberry cake Jihoon was serving. Once he came back to his senses, he fist pumped and jumped for joy.

Seongwoo rolled his eyes at the amount of half bald flowers and flower stems scattered around Daehwi’s locker. “I’m glad he doesn’t have to pluck petals anymore.”

We Are One Mess - Stafou

Things are going well for LeFou.

Belle and Maurice appear to have forgiven him and everyone in the village is making sure he knows he isn’t blamed for a thing. LeFou notices there is a lightness in his steps that hasn’t been there for a very long time.

“Bonjour!” LeFou smiles at Agatha, nodding as a way of greeting. He makes his way over to the tavern, the sun setting and painting the sky a combination of beautiful reds and pinks.

As he opens the door the tavern he is immediately greeted by laughter and other noises and he smiles as he hops onto one of the stools at the bar. This isn’t so bad.

A beer is slid in front of him and when he looks up, he sees Stanley grinning at him. “LeFou.” Stanley slides onto the stool next to him, their elbows touching. LeFou takes a big gulp of his beer. “How was your day?” It is such a simple question, but the smile that Stanley sends in his direction causes LeFou’s heart to flutter. “I uh- I went to the castle. Belle had something she wanted to show me.” LeFou shrugs. He wouldn’t tell Stanley about the reading lessons he was getting from Belle. Not yet.

“How was yours?’ He asks instead. “It was – ah, uneventful.” Stanley ducks his head, his cheeks colouring slightly darker than usual. “Want to get out of here?” “We can go back to mine if you want?” LeFou offers as an answer, smiling slightly. Stanley merely nods.

As soon as the pair felt like there was nobody around that could see them, Stanley’s hand found LeFou’s and the two continued to walk to LeFou’s small cottage hand in hand. LeFou allowed Stanley to enter his tiny house before him, taking his jacket, hanging it over one of the squeaky old dining chairs and closing the door. As soon as the door falls shut, Stanley’s arms are around LeFou, embracing him tightly. LeFou lets out a little sound, before relaxing into the embrace and burying his face in the crook of Stanley’s neck. “I missed you today.” Stanley mutters and LeFou hums. “I did too.” The pair breaks apart, smiling softly at one another. Stanley grabs his bag, pulling out a small package carrying the logo of LeFou’s favourite baker. Stanley sits down and slides the package to LeFou.

“What’s this?” LeFou picks up the box, a big smile plastered on his face. “A little something for my favourite person.” LeFou opens the box, taking out a cupcake, a delicate little sugar flower on top of it as decoration. LeFou leans over the table, pressing a small kiss on Stanley’s cheek.

Yes, things are going well for LeFou.


Some days, things are not going so well for LeFou.

On days he doesn’t spend with Stanley, insecurities and doubt fill his mind and heart, suffocating him. Stanley is without a doubt the most important person in LeFou’s life. He’s funny, handsome, kind, caring and just about everything LeFou isn’t.

Stanley can get everyone he desired, especially now that Gaston – Well, let’s just say Gaston isn’t snatching away any of the village’s ladies anymore.  He can be with someone he can show off to the entire village, something he most definitely cannot with LeFou.

LeFou looks at himself in the mirror, hating how his reflection isn’t fully visible, his sides being too wide. (Never mind the fact that if he takes a step backwards, he will be) He lets out a frustrating groan.

“What are you doing mon amour?” LeFou turns around at once, facing Stanley with his tear-stained face. “Oh, LeFou.” Stanley coos, stepping closer to his lover. “I just want to be skinny.” LeFou sniffles. “Why on earth would you want that, LeFou?” LeFou looks down at his feet. “I just want to be good enough for you.” He didn’t mean to say it out loud, he really didn’t. The words just slipped.

“Oh LeFou! Non! Tu es parfait maintenant! Tu es plus parfait! S’il te plaît, écoute moi! You are the most perfect person I know!” Stanley rushes towards LeFou, cradling LeFou’s face between his large hands. “You are caring and loyal. You are kind and ambitious. I love cuddling with you and I love how well you fit in my arms. I don’t care if you’re not skinny, LeFou, I care if you’re happy. Tu es mon rêve, mon amour.” Stanley gently wipes away LeFou’s tears, leaning down and softly kissing LeFou’s lips. “Je t’aime.” He whispers against the other man’s lips, before pressing them together once more.

Some days are not going well for LeFou, but he will always have his Stanley to make them better.


Stanley is happy.

He has the most wonderful lover and he feels like the two of them can’t possible get any happier. This doesn’t mean, however, that there isn’t something nagging at Stanley. Something that has been nagging him ever since his first encounter with Madame de Garderobe and her majestic creations.

When Tom, Dick and himself were put into dresses of the most gorgeous, soft fabrics, it had repulsed Tom and Dick, but not Stanley. No, Stanley had loved the way the soft fabrics fell around his body and felt beautiful, especially with de kind and uplifting words coming from the Madame. So ever since then, he has been going to Madame de Garderobe, comparing colours and drawing designs for the most wonderful dresses for the most gorgeous of mesdames. Madame de Garderobe has even told him he’d make for a great apprentice and she would love to take him on, if that is something that he would be interested in.

Truth be told, he wants nothing more, but something is holding him back. After all, he doesn’t want LeFou to regard him as – No, he will not fall into his doubts so deeply again. He must be the strong and masculine one of them, LeFou carrying enough troubles and doubts for them both.

So, he told Madame ‘no’ with his gaze on the floor, before hurrying out of the castle. Yet every Saturday morning, he makes his way back to the castle, surrounding himself with colours and fabrics and the wonderful person that is Madame de Garderobe. And he doesn’t say a single word to his lover.


“Bonjour, Madame!” Stanley greets her brightly when he enters the chambers. “Stanley! Oh, Stanley! I have the most wonderful thing to show you!” Stanley laughs and follows Madame de Garderobe into the other room, where she makes all her wonderful creations. Stanley stops abruptly when he sees the mannequin in the centre of the room, the most beautiful, gorgeous dress he has ever seen hanging from it.

“Well, what do you think?” “Madame, votre création est magnifique! The girl who will get the honour of wearing these otherworldly fabrics will be the luckiest of all!” “C’est me pas pour une fille, my dear lad.” She smiles, her eyes twinkling with mischief. Stanley steps closer to the mannequin, his fingers dancing over the soft peach-coloured fabric, entranced by the beauty and difficult designs. “Pour qui-” Stanley glances up at the Madame. “Pour toi, Stanley.” “For me? But-” “It’s exactly your size. Go! Try it on for me, s’il te plaît.” And how could he say no to those pleading eyes?


LeFou whistles a little tune as he walks out of the library. The reading and writing lesson went especially well today. Maybe sometime soon he will be able to write an actual letter to Stanley. The thought only caused his smile to broaden. “This is – I’ve never felt so beautiful in my life, Madame.” LeFou hears a familiar voice say. Stanley.

He follows the sound of his excited chatter and walks into the chambers of Madame de Garderobe. He wonders what has lead Stanley to be as happy, since it has been a while since he heard the man this excited. He glanced inside the other chamber, de working space of Madame, and sees Madame de Garderobe looking fondly at Stanley who’s twirling in front of a full-sized mirror, dressed in – LeFou’s eyes widen. Stanley is twirling in a detailed, peach-coloured dress, his lips appearing to be slightly darker than usual and a light pink colouring his eyes.

Stanley gasps when he locks eyes with LeFou through the mirror and turns around abruptly. “LeFou! This isn’t – It’s really not-” Tears well up in Stanley’s eyes and he shuffles his feet. “Madame, could I have a moment with Stanley, s’il vous plaît?” He smiles at her. Warily, she takes her leave. Stanley doesn’t dare look LeFou in the eye as the shorter man walks closer to him. “Stanley, you-” LeFou raises his hand. Stanley flinches back. “Oh, Stan. You look-” Stanley sucks in a breath. “Disgusting? Like a freak? You never wish to see me again?” From the other chamber, Madame de Garderobe makes an indignant sound.

“Stanley, you look stunning.” LeFou speaks quietly, not wanting to startle or cause distress any more. Stanley carefully meets LeFou’s eyes, tears starting to fall once he saw the sincerity in them. “How- Why aren’t you-?” Stanley can’t understand. This wonderful, amazing man, accepted him?

“Stanley.” LeFou wipes away Stanley’s tears, careful of the simple, yet fitting, make-up. “I love you.” Stanley lets out a throaty laugh. “I love you, too, mon amour. Thank you for-” LeFou cuts him off. “There is absolutely nothing to thank me for. Tu es parfait, Stanley.”


One night, a fortnight later, LeFou is getting ready for the ball he was personally invited to by Belle. “Are you sure you won’t join me?” He looks at Stanley through the reflection of the mirror. Stanley is looking at his lover with a wide smile, from where he is leaning against the door post. “Yes, I’m sure. Madame de Garderobe had something the wanted to show me.” “Join me after?” “Don’t assume, but maybe I will. I have no idea how long Madame will take. I do know she is expected to sing at the ball this evening. Come here.” LeFou turns around as Stanley walks over to him, gently taking the strands of the ribbon around LeFou’s neck and tying it together in a neat bowtie. “The pink suits you, mon amour.” “All my ribbons are pink, Stanley.” Stanley hums as response, pressing a kiss on LeFou’s forehead. “Je sais, but pink is quite your colour.” LeFou chuckles and walks past him, exiting their shared bedroom. “Have you told Madame de Garderobe that you will take the apprenticeship yet?” Stanley follows suit. “Not yet, but I will tonight.” He hands LeFou his coat. “Enjoy yourself this evening, mon amour.” “It would turn out better if you would join me. At least join me on the ride to the castle?”


The pair separates in the entrance hall of the castle, after both greeting Lumière, who is welcoming the guests.

LeFou makes his way to the ballroom, while Stanley walks towards the chambers of Madame de Garderobe.

“Salut Madame, you had something to show me?” “Stanley! Oui, come!” She smiles one of her trademark mischievous smiles at him and pushes a grey dress in his hands. “Let’s give that man of you a little surprise, shall we?” “But Madame! The people-” “Will be dealt with by me and my Froufrou if they dare speak badly of you! Now get dressed! I didn’t spend all week on sewing for nothing.” She walks off and Stanley starts to get dressed. The grey fabric falls over his shoulders and Stanley eyes himself in the mirror. The grey is decorated with rich patterns of the most vibrant of blues. It is absolutely stunning. Stanley sits down at the table where the Madame holds all her powders and coals and starts to working on his face, a nervous yet exciting feeling settling in his belly.


LeFou can’t say that he isn’t having a good time, because he is. Yet he also knows Stanley’s presence can make it infinitely better. He smiles at the lady he is dancing with and twirls her around. As she steps from him to turn, another person slides in, filling her space.

LeFou looks up and smiles broadly when he sees Stanley in front of him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, yet his lips are lifted in a nervous smile. 

“You look gorgeous, Stanley.” LeFou tells the taller man as he leads Stanley through the dance. In the background, they hear Madame de Garderobe singing her beautiful tunes, her husband by her side and her beloved Froufrou in her arms.

And in that moment, in the ballroom, surrounded by people who don’t even spare the gentlemen a second glance, they were infinite.

Feysand Week - Family

This is my fourth fic for Feysand Week, and the prompt is ‘family.’



“Feyre. It’s going to be fine.”

I turn to look at Rhys, trying not to look as worried as I felt. “I know. But what if they don’t like me?” Hate me, in fact.

Rhys put his bag down on the front steps of the house and put his hands on my shoulders. “They’re going to love you, darling.”

I rested my forehead against his. “Really?”

He smiled, leaning down to snatch a kiss. “Really.” Rhys murmured against my lips before pulling away to knock on the door.

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Can’t Shake This - Bellamy Blake Imagine

Authors Note: I just love this gif so much that’s all.

Originally posted by astraeastronaut

Reader x Bellamy Blake

Word Count: 1,157

Warning: cuteness

“Stupid (Y/N)! Why are you such an idiot. You had one job, just one job why did you do you constantly stuff these things up?” You whispered talking to yourself. You had stormed off out of the dining hall of the ark just wanting to be alone and were pacing around lost in the massive camp. “And now you’re talking to yourself what fun.” You huffed leaning against the closest thing, which happened to be the outside of the weapons centre.

“As much as this is entertaining, you should probably get inside before it starts really storming.” Bellamy smirked startling you a little. “I don’t know you were out, uh here, uh. Okay I’m sorry, I’ll go.” You rambled thinking of what you said, wondering if you mentioned the disastrous thing you had done. You had one job, do not like your best friend’s brother romantically. 

What a cliché. It shouldn’t be a cliché you’d fall into. No one was supposed to even have a brother. You’d read about this stuff in books. Saw it in the movies on the ark. It happened so many times and overtime you’d think it was cute, because it was foreign to you.

But now, oh boy were you in deep. He got you hook, line and sinker. 

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Let Your Heart Decide (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)

A/N: Now that the semester is officially done, I’ve had time to sleep for more than 2 hours every night and of course I’ve dedicated it to fic writing! So here’s a Prince!Lin fic whose concept was inspired by Aladdin (but of course strays quite a bit from the actual movie). I hope ya’ll have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

Word Count: 8,166 (longest fic yet aayyy)




One of the smaller kingdoms in the land, it was what you considered a hidden gem. The agriculture flourished. Nature was at its most thriving in this kingdom. Closer to the centre of the kingdom where the palace was situated, you could find the tallest, leafiest trees surrounded by shrubbery, and flowers of the most vibrant colours ever imagined. Plant life was the most diverse here, creating a mosaic of wildlife. The marketplaces and all other architecture were built around this, oftentimes even incorporating the plants into the structure.

As you walked closer to the edges of the kingdom, the eccentric green plants gave way to vast fields and farms, the largest of which were on what you had affectionately nicknamed, “The Outer Rim”. The outskirts of the kingdom. This is the part of the kingdom that you called home.

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Totally unplanned jeans wetting

Or better said the public surprises of a very full bladder. Or blame the beer. I don’t post much here on tumblr, but this is quite a recent thing that happened, being of the most intense desperations I have ever experienced, especially as it was completely unintentional. Anyways, let me know what you think.

So, I just got back after doing some traveling around Europe and I brought a few gifts for friends. I met one of them two days ago in town to give her the chocolates I brought over. We met in town at around 8 o'clock and went for some pizza. It definitely wasn’t a date but I haven’t had so much fun and also quality conversation in a long while. Everything normal, until we went to this great pub that has a selection of locally-produced beer. People usually buy it in fours, as they come from bright yellow (regular lager colour), to reddish, brown and full black, and my friend felt compelled to buy me one of those in exchange for her chocolates. That was exactly two lovely litres of liquid. Yum!

We stayed there for around 2-3 hours, in which I peed twice. I finished all my beer, which was absolutely great, and we had to leave as the place was closing. I must admit that I have skipped going to the loo before leaving, even though I was already filling up again after my last toilet trip. She joked about the fact that I went twice in the span of half an hour and I decided to not give her any more reasons to make fun of my bladder size, of which I am actually proud.

There were no buses at that time, so I walked her back to her place which was a decent 20 minutes away from town centre. After dropping her off and making a huge effort not asking her if I can use her toilet real quick, I turned back towards town centre. (To go home I had to go through town centre once again and head in the opposite direction.) That was good, as I was already feeling my bladder really bad and I was planning to go use the toilet at McDonald’s in town before carrying on with my journey. I really wasn’t in the mood for a hold and even with my big bladder, two litres of beer is definitely not a joke.

I got to McDonald’s quite quickly, but as you can probably guess from the title, I didn’t get to use the loo there, as the bouncer locked it after someone puked all over it. Great. At 1 o'clock at night everything else is already closed apart of that stupid McDonald’s. Even KFC closed at 12… I soon realised there were no other toilets I could use apart of my own, which was 30+ minutes away.

But I’m a big boy, I got home nearly losing it in my boxers many times before, so this wasn’t really an unusual situation. I decided it might be a good idea to actually take a taxi back home at this point. I was filling up way too quickly and a taxi would’ve been my best bet to make it home in comfortable time. After losing almost 10 precious minutes trying to stop a taxi, I realised that I just need to start heading home on foot. I really couldn’t afford losing more time as my bladder was already aching. It was a huge surprise to me to be that desperate, that quick. I guess it must’ve been the alcohol in the beers I had, along with the fact that I drank a huge amount of liquid in a short time span. I couldn’t sit still and, biting my lip, I decided to start walking as fast as I can.

What happened next is right out any of one of those cheesy Bound2Burst movies, because two police officers stopped me in the street. I was quite anxious to be honest, not knowing how long they’ll keep me there or what they want. I could honestly picture myself slowly soaking my jeans in front of them as I casually answer all their questions. Fortunately enough, they just asked if I saw anybody running in the opposite direction, as there was a pretty messy fight a few minutes before. I finished with them and carried on with my desperate walk.

I was so, so desperate! I was literally bursting. You can’t imagine how embarrassing it can be for a guy to get that desperate… My bladder felt like a rock bopping up and down in my lower abdomen and it was really uncomfortable to walk fast. I eventually had to slow down and walk with my right hand in my pocket, secretly but strongly pinching my cock to help with the desperation. There were many people on the streets, as everybody was heading home at that time, so I couldn’t really do anything more obvious.

The people also made the idea of simply wetting behind a tree or a car impossible. In addition, as some of you might already know, I have a policy for not peeing in the street. I just hold it. For me, it’s either a toilet or a pair of jeans. I was getting closer to home when it started to become more obvious that it might be impossible to get back dry though. It’s a truly unique feeling, and everybody into omorashi knows it well enough, where the voice in your head just tells you “Jean, you will not make it. You know you will wet yourself soon…”.

Strangely enough, I felt it like a challenge this time. On another occasion I would’ve simply let it go in my pants. I love the feeling of a soaked pair of jeans and the incredible desperation I was going through would have definitely led to a very, very big and satisfying wet mess. But no, I decided that I am a big boy and that I can hold it until I get home. I took it as a challenge, but had to undo my belt… I really wanted to prove I can hold it for as long as I want and that I am in charge and decide when my bladder empties its content and when it doesn’t.

I was close now. Also, there were less people on the street so I made the most of it by getting a good front grip on my crotch. I was incredibly horny at this point and had to deal with a huge and noticeable bulge in my jeans too. A long, desperate and horny walk.  When the powerful waves of desperation started hitting I had to walk even slower to not lose it. Moreover, I had to stop every 100 feet, cross my legs and regain my composure for a few moments. A cold sweat was a final warning signal to what will soon follow if I don’t get to a toilet in time.

Then I spurted. Yes, I SPURTED! The first time in my life that I actually spurt; I usually just explode all at once. It was such a strange, alien feeling to be able to stop the flow after a few drops hit my boxer-briefs. Although I wasn’t dry anymore, there still was a chance of getting home with a pair of dry jeans. And I was wearing my favourite pair of shoes, which I definitely didn’t want to soak in waves of warm urine.

The last 5 minutes of my walk were full of ever increasing spurts which, sliding my hand inside my jeans, I found have left my underwear dripping wet. There was a noticeable wet patch on my blue jeans already, but I could see my house.

That was the longest walk ever. With 10 feet to my front door, I could already feel the huge relief and hear the pee splash in the porcelain toilet bowl. Soon!

But I lost it. I completely lost it and started peeing full force as I was frantically searching my pockets for the front door key. I just couldn’t stop peeing. I couldn’t. I was gripping my cock so hard through the wet material of my jeans it hurt, but to no avail. Pee was jetting out of my throbbing cock and I couldn’t even slow the stream down. And it was so loud! It was hissing, I could here it as the stream was going through my boxers and was hitting my jeans. It had to be almost two minutes of continuous peeing followed by a lovely hissing sound. I almost finished peeing when I realised I was still standing with my legs double-crossed, still trying to stop the flow.

What mess have a I made?! I was standing in a 2 feet - wide puddle. My shoes were full of pee and all squishy. I also apparently came in my boxers in the process. I eventually got in the house and when I got in the bathroom, I emptied all the pee out of my shoes (once again, just like in a cheesy B2B movie :P) and admired myself in the mirror. I wasn’t even mad that I didn’t make it home in time, dry, or that I have lost my own personal challenge. It didn’t matter. The relief was absolutely incredible and this has to be one of my best wettings ever. And the best relief feelings too!

It was real, big, messy, unplanned. It was perfect! My white ankle socks were completely soaked and almost transparent and my red boxer-briefs were almost entirely wet, it was actually hard for me to find a dry patch on them. The jeans had a lovely wet pattern on both the front and their back.

Something else that I’ve never done before now is that I actually kept my wet boxers on and slept in them. In the morning, they were nice and dry and I decided to pee in them once again in the shower.

This was absolutely incredible!

Guys, this is pretty much it and I do hope you enjoyed it. Two lessons are to be learnt from this experience:

1. You cannot walk faster than your bladder can fill up.

2. You can actually piss yourself on your front door step.

I thought that is just something dramatic that they like to show in videos, that you wet yourself seconds and feet away from relief, but this experience taught me the exact opposite. Pretty weird way to learn a lesson if you ask me…

the sequel to this ficlet i posted yesterday literally none one asked for. (I blame @sapphicsugden for mentioning wanting to see robert react to the voicemail. oops.)

home is wherever i’m with you 

robert gets a voicemail from aaron that has him running to leeds train station to reassure his husband of his love. 

1,669 words.

Robert got out of the shower, towelling his hair dry as he turned to look at himself in the mirror, sighing at dark circles that had found a permanent home there. If he’d ever assumed marriage would make his life, their lives easier, he’d been entirely wrong - even after therapy, even after marriage counselling, regardless of how hard they’d worked on their relationship, they could seem to shake the petty arguments and sniping that always seemed to put a strain on their relationship.

He couldn’t even remember what they’d been fighting about, really, but Aaron had left for meetings in London two days previously, and they hadn’t even been on speaking terms.

Robert had only heard about Aaron’s trip from Liv, the blonde as perspective as ever and knowing Robert would only worry if he didn’t hear from Aaron, but was too stubborn to call (and vice versa, he could only assume, or hope, either or either.)

Going through his usual post shower routine, Robert fished about their messy ensuite for his moisturiser. He’d gone for a shower in the middle of the afternoon in the hopes of relaxing the stiff, sore muscles of his body, easing the tension he’d been carrying for days.

It hadn’t worked, really, but at least he looked less terrible than he had done a half an hour previously as he padded into their bedroom, rooting for some fresh clothes to wear. He really needed to put on a load of washing, the hamper in their room overflowing.

Robert dressed quickly, in a neat blue shirt and navy trousers, pausing to sit on Aaron’s side of the bed as he laced up his shoes. He might as well be productive while he waited for Aaron to come home that evening, he supposed, stuffing his damp towel into the hamper before he headed downstairs, navigating the spiral staircase.

Robert couldn’t help but laugh as he noticed Liv’s overflowing washing basket plonked down by the washing machine. At least it was a step up from leaving her clothes all over her bedroom floor, he supposed.

Separating the colours was a blissfully monotonous task as Robert set about making piles of darks, whites, and colours, Aaron’s clothes overwhelmingly in the darks pile.

Some things would never change.

Washing on, Robert headed for the kitchen, flicking the kettle on before he picked up his mobile, surprised to see a new voicemail from Aaron. Holding it to his ear, Robert leaned against the kitchen counter as he listened.

“I know the last few weeks have been hard, but I want you to know that I love you, and no one makes me happy the way you do. I’m sitting on the train home, and I just… All I want is to be with you, right now, and for the rest of my life. Yeah? So whatever else is going on, we’ll sort it, because I love you, Robert.”

Robert’s heart was racing as he listened to the voicemail, the emotion clear in Aaron’s voice as he spoke. Sometimes, even now, three years on from their wedding day, Robert had moments where he wondered if Aaron would stay, if Aaron would always think that he was worth the hassle, worth the stress.

Robert didn’t always think he was worth the hassle, but here his husband was, telling him that he loved him, that all he wanted was to be with him, that he loved him, and Robert’s heart could have burst out of his chest.

“I’ll be home, soon. Pick me up in Leeds, yeah? We can go for dinner or something, I want to spend some time with ya.”

Robert pressed the palm of his hand into his eye, taking a few seconds to breathe deeply before he did anything else.

Aaron always did floor him.

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Birthdays in a traffic jam

Title: Birthdays in a traffic jam

Fandom: OMGCheckplease

Pairing: Larissa Lardo Duan / Shitty Knight

Rating: PG-13 (for language)

Word count: 3320

Part 3 of The Shitty and Lardo Chronicles.  Also on AO3

The problem is traffic.

The problem is it’s four in the afternoon and everyone and their mother is out thinking that they’ve escaped early enough to avoid the home time traffic.  The problem is someone up ahead is honking angrily every three seconds.  The problem is some people can’t blare a horn politely.

The problem is they’re in a traffic jam.

The problem is Lardo’s in labour.

“I’m gonna have this baby in the car.”

Shitty looks calm and composed.  His eyes are focused on the unmoving traffic ahead and his knees aren’t bouncing but you’ve only to look at the bone white knuckle grip he has on the steering wheel and his twitching moustache to see that he feels otherwise.  That despite how he looks he is very aware of the active labour going on beside him and he is shitting himself.

The wheel leather squeaks under his hands.

“My darling, my queen, my reason for living,” he takes a thin breath, “please don’t because I don’t know how to deliver a fucking baby.”

Lardo flinches despite his even tone and her eyes flit to the rear view to check the backseat but of course it’s empty.  Xuan is not bouncing impatiently in her car seat because she’s at Dex and Nursey’s probably drinking too much sugary juice and watching cartoons that are slightly too old for her.  Shitty can swear all he likes now that they’re sponge of a two-year-old isn’t around. Truthfully Lardo wants to swear too but someone in this vehicle has to have their shit together.

She thought she had more time.


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HOME STRETCH! Our Kickstarter still has a little over one day left to go. We’re funded, but we would love to reach our stretch goal so we can pay all the hardworking folks who volunteered to help us make it possible. People like our artist, (@theoutsidervevo) sound engineer (@shapechangersinwinter) and musician (@sounddesignerjeans).

During our campaign Andrea Klassen (our Certified Journalist on the team and co-writer/producer for Station to Station) did interviews with the creative teams of all our shows. In case folks on the tumble missed it, we’re also posting it here! 

Below the cut: Station to Station writer’s room insider with Alex Yun and Andrea Klassen on inspiration, horror, and representation in genre fiction. 

When Dr Miranda Quan embarks on an 10-week research cruise in the Pacific Ocean, she expects two months of no-nonsense experiments, bad Titanic jokes and marathoning Grey’s Anatomy. Instead, her lab partner has vanished, leaving nothing but a notebook full of illogical ramblings, a voice recorder, and a half-finished maths problem she has to solve. With a storm moving in and something sinister lurking below decks, Miranda must untangle the conspiracy surrounding her or be consumed.

AK: It’s really satisfying to write women who get to be flawed heroes in all the ways male protagonists do too. With moments of bad judgement and moral conflict and selfishness and stubbornness. Also as a queer woman it’s… just nice to get write characters whose stories aren’t tied to homophobia — where someone can have a crush on another woman, but that’s not the source of conflict the way horrifying science conspiracies are.

AY: Exactly. And the reason that we do this — the point of PPN — is to create narrative space for ourselves in genre fiction, be it horror or sci-fi or fantasy, where we are allowed to take up that space and drive that narrative. We deserve to be front and centre, to have our stories not end in tragedy, to have stories that doesn’t just mimic the current way the media treats marginalised identities. It is not niche to put non-white, non-straight bodies into narratives that have been historically excluding of them.

The idea that diverse stories are less appealing is based on constructed ideas of what “the norm” looks like - it’s tied to the experience of what it means to be the “default” and what it means to be the Other.

The rest is below the cut!

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★ Hot Off the Press / Brandon Larracuente ★

Words: 1000

The surprise you had planned for today was not only for your friends and family, but for Brandon as well. You knew that when you found out you were pregnant that you would ask about the gender the moment you could. When you originally proposed the idea of surprising your family and friends to your partner, Brandon requested to find out at the same time as them-wanting to experience it with them, making it that extra bit more special.

You had known the gender for almost a whole week now and you wanted nothing more than to share the news with Brandon, but you respected his wishes and kept it hidden.

Everyone would be arriving at your home in just less than an hour and you were practically counting down the seconds.

A hand rested on your shoulder, causing you to turn your attention to the person behind you. Smiling, you rested your hand on top of Brandon’s.

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Isaac Lahey Song Fic Part 2

Oh my my my…

Originally posted by dunbarfeels

Part 2

I gasped as his lips descended down the column of my neck, his large hands slipping under my top and gripping my waist. A soft moan left my lips as I muttered his name again. He chuckled deeply, “You like saying my name, don’t you?”

“You like it too.” I breathed out as my fingers sank into his curls, making him groan.

“So so much.” His lips assaulted mine, kissing me with vigour.

“Isaac don’t be a tease.” I growled when he pulled back and though the idiot smirked at me, he listened, and took his top off, throwing it to one side of my bedroom. I couldn’t help but stare at the defined muscles on his torso.

“Like what you see?” He quipped arrogantly and I cocked my head to one side, accepting his challenge. I too took my top off and threw it to one side and asked, “Like what you see?”

I was wearing a red lace bra and it brought me great satisfaction to see Isaac’s jaw all but drop as he gaped at me. A growl sounded low in his throat and his eyes flashed golden for a moment before he buried his head in my chest, his lips laving hot, wet kisses on my breasts. His hands roamed, squeezed and pinched my skin in a delectable manner making me moan loudly as I raked my fingers through his hair.

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Birthday Wish - Alfie Solomons One Shot

It’s my birthday and I’ll write smut if I want to.

Birthday Wish

Her heels clicked out a warning regarding her dark mood as she rapidly walked along the cobbled streets. This day couldn’t end fast enough. All she wanted was to go home and climb into that big copper tub and soak every worry and ache away. Forget this day had ever happened. She snorted a loud humpfh as she skirted around other pedestrians. One shoulder knocking off a large gentleman’s and nearly sending her teetering off balance. As she fought to remain upright, the thought came sourly; yeah, just forget you’d ever been born.

Well that was a bit dramatic. Not to mention ungrateful. However, it was her birthday and also just about the worst day ever. Work had been busier than ever, with barely a moment to pause. Her new hosiery had a run in it not ten minutes after arriving at the bakery. Worst of all was an entire batch of bread ruined due to an incorrect oven setting. She had hoped her boss would let her go early - maybe even take her to lunch. But no, he’d been his typical grumpy, volatile self all morning. When she had sought him out in his office to say she wasn’t feeling well, he wasn’t even there. Had “gone for the rest of the day on some important task” his assistant had said.

Well wasn’t that just fine!!! HE gets to leave for a special errand, but the birthday girl spends the day covered in flour and buried in his paperwork.

Well hell no, if she would!!

She told that foolish boy assistant as much and marched straight out of the empty office. Then right on out the distillery back doors. Ollie thought about given chase; he had warned Alfie about not saying anything to his girl on her special day. But the tough gangster had insisted he had it all under control. Ollie shook his head and gave up the idea of chasing Alyona down the streets. Especially given her mood when she departed. He smirked a little imagining the tirade about to be unleashed on his employer when she arrived home. Maybe he’d sit down behind the big desk and have a cup of coffee while he imagined the scenario. Ollie was halfway to his office and the coffee pot when he suddenly turned on his heel in retreat to the desk once more. Picking up the phone he heaved a sigh. He still had to work with the man after all.

Alfie heard the key in the door from the second floor of the manor and came to stand at the top of the stairs. She breezed through the door, slamming it so hard he winced and the dog backed out of the room. Her clutch and keys were tossed upon the hutch and heels kicked off; one skittering down the hallway towards the kitchen. A mumbled fuckin hell tossed after it.

Alfie cringed from his position above. Well, there was no doubt she was his woman, as he heard the stream of curses continue towards the kitchen. A door slammed, followed by the bang of glass on the table. Guess Ollie weren’t bluffing after all. Suddenly silence from the kitchen and slowly he descended the stairs. He found her by the doors to the backyard, eyes wide and mouth ajar, the glass of whatever something strong and straight she poured tilting in her hand. Only her eyes moved slowly about the room, taking in the dozen or so bouquets of flowers. So many colourful blooms that she could not even name them all. And in the centre of each fragrant bunch was a simple daisy.

The breakfast table was set with china and candles, and it was only now as she stood wondering how - her nose caught the delicious aroma that permeated the room. As she turned towards the oven, her eyes caught Alfie standing leaning against the wall just outside the kitchen entrance. Eyes resting on her and the smile lighting his face.

“Ya thought I forget yeah?”

She could only nod and buried her face in her hands. Her mind recalling all the hateful words that had rolled about her head the long walk home.

“Yeah well see, I didn’t right. Happy birthday beautiful.”

The tears slipped down her cheeks, as she thought how yet again she had under estimated him. Thought the worst - when here he had left his business to come home and do his best for her. Her eyes dropped to the floor.

“I’m wretched.”

He crossed the room and stood before her, hands in his pockets.

“Ollie said ya weren’t likely to arrive home in the best of moods.”

"I’m sorry Alfie. I don’t deserve all this … I was so hurt and angry …”

He finally drew her into his arms ; felt the whole weight of her sag upon him. All he could think about was how he loved the way the top of her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. His chin resting at her temple where he kissed her softly.

"Nah love. I should have said something this morning before I left.” His hand rubbed down the length of her back. “Would have been more proper than letting ya go half the day thinking I’d forgotten. Or didn’t care.”

She leaned around his burly frame and plucked the daisy from the nearest bouquet, inhaling it’s sweet scent.

"Ya did really good love.” She pulled his mouth to her own. “Mmmmm, real good.”

"Yeah? Because listen sweetie, this is only the start.” At her raised brow, he took her hand and led the way upstairs. “Come on.”

When they reached the landing he proceeded towards the master bath, she could see light flickering from the hallway. When she stepped inside, her breath caught. The bathtub stood steaming full and surrounded by more flowers and candlelit filled the room. A bottle of champagne chilling nearby. The final touch was a tray of strawberries dipped in chocolate. She almost swooned on the tile floor. Instead she clasped his hand.

"Alfie, I can’t believe ya did all this. No one has ever …” her voice caught and the tears flowed once more.

Alfie was more practical and simply pulled her close and began slowly undressing her. His eyes capturing her own and holding her with that steady way of his. His hands roamed over her bare flesh, stoking all the flames to burning. She reached for his shirt buttons but he pushed her hand away.

"Ach, this is just for ya tonight love. Get in and don’t come out until I can see yer smile in those stunning eyes of yers, right.”

She kissed him soundly and then didn’t hesitate to climb in the soothing heat, leaning back with a long sigh. Alfie handed her a crystal glass of champagne and brought one of the decadent berries to her mouth. She licked her lips, savouring the blending of flavours; noted how his brow raised.

"Sure ya don’t want to join me?”

He stared at her long and hard, as though memorizing every detail. Eyes raking down the length of her lithe form, lingering on the swell of her breasts just below the water. Recalling the first time he had glimpsed her just like this. How he had wanted to climb into that tub and lose himself in the feel of her. And now he knew exactly how good she felt.

And he had dinner in the oven.

Fuckin hell and damn, when did ya get domesticated anyhow!?

"I can’t believe, right … that I’m even saying… hell probably gonna regret it … but I got to keep an eye on the dinner.”

It was unclear who was more shocked. Alfie that he was turning down sex, or Alyona that he had actually cooked.

"Not Sabini’s?”

He snorted in offense. “Fuck no love. I wanted it to be special for ya.”

His eyes sought hers, the hesitation and uncertainty barely concealed. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back for a hearty kiss.

"I love you Alfie. And you have made it special.” The look of relief that crossed his face did not go unnoticed. She whispered softly by his ear, “and I know you’ll make it extra special later too.”

Their gazes locked, and mouths merged and when he finally raised his head again

"There’s that smile I love. Happy birthday love.”

He left the bathroom with the instruction to take her time, and went back to continue dinner preparations. When Alyona finished in the bath and wandered back to the master bedroom wrapped in one of his huge fluffy towels, she saw a beautifully wrapped package lying on the bed. Quickly she untied the ribbon and lifted the box lid to discover a delicate lace negligee. She touched the silk fabric in awe. Never had she owned something so beautifully made. It was art. And the most beautiful shade of soft coral. She knew immediately he had picked it out to compliment her eyes. Grinning wide she donned the garment - and nothing else. Opting to leave her long tresses knotted, with stray curls hanging down her graceful neck, she proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. It was aglow in candle light but she could see Alfie lifting a dish from the oven and setting it upon the cooling rack.

When she glided into the room, he immediately straightened; eyes taking in every inch of her.

"Fuck me.”

She laughed softly, “Well that is my birthday wish.”

Alfie didn’t waste a second this time, before closing the space between them.

"That roast really needs to sit for a spell yeah. Brings out the flavour … or some shit, I don’t fuckin know. Hell love, look at ya.”

Before she could reply, or even catch her breath, she was lifted on top the counter and his mouth was ravishing her own. His hands already climbing up her thighs, fingers reaching for the panties that weren’t there and meeting her wet centre directly. He groaned and pulled back to raise a brow.

"Damn. Kinda feels like it’s my birthday, eh?”

She grabbed him by the front of the trousers, and pulled him back. Slender fingers slipping past the waistband to tease the tip of his hard cock. Her other hand grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him near.

"Well it’s not, so get over here and make my wish come true.”

"Bit pushy ain’t ya?”

But before she could use that smart mouth again, Alfie pushed her back to lay upon the counter, hitching the lingerie up to her waist. Strong hands lifted her hips, while his head dove between her spread thighs. With expert use of his skilled fingers, mouth and tongue - he fulfilled that wish. Several times over.

When she finally raised up, eyes and body limp with spent desire, he unfastened his trousers and drove inside her in one swift movement. His need driving him hard and fast; thrusting into her with such passion dishes rattled within the cupboards below. She clung to his broad shoulders and wrapped her legs about him like a vise. A surprised gasp that he’s taking her to dizzying heights yet again. Both of them desperately seeking release from the tightening coils that set fire to every nerve, every cell and lingered on the edge of bursting. Until finally with a few deep and slow thrusts, the flames finally ignited and spread their heat along every limb and they fell into the inferno together. Alfie’s chest heaved with the effort given and her head dropped to his shoulder. She pressed a kiss along the side of his neck and he could only murmur in reply.

"Oh god Alfie. This is the best birthday ever.”

He hugged her close. Buried his face in the soft curls that had tumbled free. When his eyes met her own, they held a hint of his teasing nature.

"And here I thought based on what Ollie said, I’d have to give ya a proper spanking when ya got ‘ere.”

She smoothed the silk negligee back down her hips and hopping off the counter, cast him a sly wink as she sashayed over to the table.

"Well love, we haven’t eaten yet. Ya never know what might happen. Ain’t over till it’s over … right? And it’s still my birthday for another five hours.”

Alfie stood still, jaw slack. Until he clapped his hands together and gave her a wicked leer.

"Damn if it don’t feel like my own birthday.”

"Yeah well I’m starving now love, so why don’t we eat … and then we can get back to granting wishes.”

She cast her own wicked grin. “Eat up - yer gonna need the energy love.”

"Getting pushy again ain’t ya? Careful love - I might think yer picking a fight with me again.”

She laughed out loud. “Now there’s some wishful thinking.”

Fucking hell. Between those eyes and her sassy mouth of many talents - she was gonna be the death of him for sure. And he couldn’t for the life of him think of how he could wish for anything more.


Tag:  @thihaf , @badassbaker, @brinabear458, @banes-tshirt, @thewife101

Originally posted by sceawere

Seventeen Diamond Edge NYC: An Experience

I JUST got back from what has been probably, one of the most memorable experiences of my stay here in New York City. I’m going to try and crunch out some highlights, and save it away for later so I can come back and read this post and remember what exactly went down. This will be a long post. Also swearing. Baby Carats not allowed.

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our unexpected life

heads up, it is very long. true be I wanted to write one incredibly long piece rather than maybe three shorter ones where I lose interest over time if that makes sense?

this was requested by an anon so thank you! it is about the reader being 18 and dan his current age yet they start to fall in love. 

in no way am I enforcing this sort of relationship, I know couples have age gaps but you never know who someone actually is or their intentions etc- remember this is fiction, don’t take this into real life :) (I know the majority of people know this already, its just a reminder)


p2 / p3

Neither of us expected this, but they say expect the unexpected. My version of the unexpected comes in the form of a blue eyed sweetheart named Dan, who I thought was just another person passing by. I didn’t expect attachment nor did I think about the way my heart would flutter with joy whenever he smiled.

But above all else, I didn’t think about the frowns that we’d receive because of it.

Growing up I never thought about the first twelve years of my life being so significant. In twelve years you grow, you develop skills and are educated. Aged twelve I began high school, I knew puberty was coming along with other responsibilities. Now looking back, twelve years feels like a hefty amount to walk around with.

I needed to escape from the stress of studies and craved serenity more than anything else. My feet led me to a place I didn’t think I wanted to be at; the beach. Walking along the sand ridden tiles I placed myself on the rocky wall, the sand about a metre from my tip toes leaving my legs dangling aimlessly. Picking my camera up in my hands I began to take a few shots, some of the sea, some of the old fashioned pier. Most seemed pretty amateuristic, I didn’t expect much, but something more. 

That’s when the unexpected occured. 

Continuing to hide my face with the width of my camera my left eye remained focused in the viewfinder observing the lives of those having a morning out by the beach, not so much of the seaside. Seagulls swarmed on rubbish, any scraps they could find whilst children squealed into their parents’ arms, the amount of love they emitted was undeniable. Just as I put pressure onto the button a blur crossed in front of it. 

Pulling the camera away I brought the picture up, sighing as I saw the sight of it. You could barely make out the mother and son in the background as a mess of hair and blue jacket blurred across two thirds of the photo. “Oh, did I get in the shot?” Someone hesitantly called out from the right of me. 

As I lifted my head up I wasn’t sure what I expected, all I know is that I felt different as I focused on him. I remember noticing the small smile form into something bigger, a sweeter grin amongst the light stubble around his jaw and above his lips. My mum always told me when she was younger she’d focus on a man’s eyes first, that those were the most attractive aspect before his persona. 

All I can say is my Mum was right, as per usual. Within all eighteen years of my life there are various shades of blue I’d experienced, most of them could be limited down to the colour of the sky or the distorted seas across the world or the vivid blue of a bottle of shots soon to be demolished. Yet his weren’t the sort to pin point, to sort into a little box and label them as that particular shade of blue. His eyes were rimmed with a soft cool blue, full of care, wisdom and knowledge. In the centre of his iris’ the blue varied but blended seamlessly, the sort of eyes that are too enticing, I fell at a loss for words and he sensed. 

Glancing down to my camera I could feel the heat floating to the surface of my cheeks, “Yeah, but it’s alright. I’m not doing anything with these photos it’s just to pass the time.” I explained and slowly lifted my head up as I was unable to ignore the increased thumping of my heart hitting my chest with too much force. 

He was still wearing that smile, “Can I take a look?” I heard him stutter as he bit his lip, the glint fading amongst nerves in his eyes. 

Replying with a small nod I heard a light grunt as he forced himself up onto the wall next to me, the denim of his jacket brushing across my light summer top. Leaning down the top of his slicked back hair crossed my face, making me chuckle lightly. “Okay but please be careful. If you try and steal this I am wearing appropriate footwear.” I joked and he glanced down to my shoes. 

“You’d probably catch me anyway, especially on a beach.” He was quick to reply, which was different. Reaching into his pocket he grabbed a pair of glasses, slipping them on he rested his arm across my thigh and examined the photos I showed him. “You’ve got some talent.” It was a genuine comment, it didn’t sound like the fake enthusiasm I’d heard too many times before. “Do you do this often, like in between day to day life?” Sitting back up opposite me he was engaged entirely in what I had to say. 

Placing the camera strap back around my neck I turn it off, putting the lens cap back on and rested my hands against the rough rock, pondering momentarily on how best to reply. “When I’m not in uni I like to find some time, even if it’s an early Thursday morning to just not think.” I focus on the sea rather than him, the slow rolling of the waves grouping together to create something with more force. “Sometimes I end up going back home, visiting family. The majority of the time I come somewhere like this, where I can get a bit of peace- no student drama, no stress, just see life.” 

He remained quiet, at calm listening to me. Something I haven’t experienced since I was at home with my old friends, staying up late to just hear what we had to say without interruptions. “So you’re at university? What’re you studying?” Shuffling a little bit closer I could feel my heart screaming in my chest, his eyes boring into my soul. 

“I’m a philosophy student.” I smile and the look changes, “What? Didn’t expect that of me, a stranger?” I question and he just looks away, deep with thought as he focuses on his sandy converse. 

After a minute of listening to the seagulls wail he brings his legs up and hangs one over the ledge and one firmly on the pavement. “I just, I think it’s fascinating.” He struggles to find his words and avoids eye contact with me, nerves, not something I’ve seen from any guy in a while. 

“You’re a bit shy natured aren’t you?” I ask and he responds with a light chuckle, taking his tortoise shell glasses off. 

“Is it that obvious?” Raising an eyebrow to me I nod in response, making him reveal a toothy grin. “So, you know about Plato and Aristotle?” Again I nod, thinking how of all the days to explain my course today isn’t one of them. 

“Do you want to go get some coffee, or tea or something? There is this little cafe I discovered down the road.” I suggest and he seems taken aback by my idea. The deer in headlights look in his eyes sinks my heart, forcing it into my stomach, suppressing all emotions. “I’m coming off too strong aren’t I? I try and be you know quiet or friendly but it sometimes doesn’t work out and you’d think I’d have it under control at eighteen but no I still-”

He cuts me off with his large hand covering mine, the difference in size making me smile. “I’d love to but,” He pauses and looks away from me, I can feel everything condensing inside of me, the rejection nearing. “you’re really sweet and I’d really like to get to know you better it’s just,” He was faltering, losing his words. 

“Just what? I’m too bubbly, I’m coming off too keen?” I list, unable to ignore the unsettling feeling inside of me. 

“You’re too young.” He sighs. 

I remain quiet, silently taken aback by his comment. Turning my legs away from his I focus ahead, unsure how to process it all. Too young. The sort of thing your parent would tell you about rides at a theme park or when you want to know about how babies are made or wearing makeup. Never have I been told I’m too young for something other than naivety. Never has someone told me I can’t be associated to them because of my age. 

“Oh.” I scoffed. “What are you one of those dads who is deceivingly young? Or a predator?” Sarcasm rolls off of my tongue as it naturally does in times of defense. “Nice try blue eyes.” Standing up he takes it, he wears a heavily look in his eyes, the blue clouding into a rain storm. 

Walking away I can’t help but feel something, my heart aches in my chest as the feeling of rejection settles heavily. I could hear footsteps behind me, the paranoia settling in. “Wait.” A breathless call made me pause, I turned around to see him shrugging the denim sheepskin jacket off, holding it in his arm as he stopped in front of me. “I’m thirty.” I blankly stared at him, 30. 

He didn’t look 30. He’d easily pass for being in his 20′s. How does a man age that well? No sign of wrinkles, of the burden of education or over drawn out hours at work settling under his eyes. “So, you’re twelve years older than me.” I let it settle in around us as I said it. 

“See what I mean?” He states and I keep quiet, trying to think it through. “We, we’d be no good. Sure it’s just coffee now but then what? What if I end up liking you more than I already do. What if I want to learn more about the girl who studies philosophy and you want to know more about the guy you met on a beach? Then what?” 

“We take it.” I declare to him. “We see what happens, so what? Age is just a number. I might like you, you might like me and we might want it enough to make it work. Coffee is just coffee, so,” Pausing I realise I don’t even know who he is, his name to identify him. 

“I’m Dan, Dan Smith.” I smile, Dan Smith. It is written in his eyes, it fits him and who he is. I reply with my name, leaving out my middle name- if this guy is a catfish best leave my entire life private. 

“So, Dan Smith. Coffee?” 

p2 up above :) 

This is a Henry x Lizzie modern au fic inspired by @harritudur’s flatmates au. Thank you dear for allowing me to play in your sandbox!

Henry and Lizzie are uni students in London and share a flat. Enjoy!

“Remind me again why we’re here.”

His voice seemed to have come from far, far away. Lizzie almost didn’t hear it, such was her state of mind. The day was splendidly beautiful. The warm light of the late afternoon covered everything in a golden haze, surprisingly making up for the chilliness of the occasional wind blowing in Regent’s Park. Lizzie had her eyes closed, sunbeams played behind her eyelids to produce the most extraordinary colours. Nothing could spoil that day, not even a mildly cranky Henry Tudor.

“It’s your fault, really.” She slowly opened her eyes to look at him squarely. “You wouldn’t stop nagging me about how I should not get the tube in my condition. You left me no option but to drag you along.”

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Sharpie Soulmates (Soulmate AU)

Pairing: Kickthestickz
Wordcount: 2.3k
Rating: bad language, but nothing to cry about

Request/Prompt: Whatever you write on yourself appears on your soulmate but disappears from your skin. Pj is always covered in horrible pick up lines and crudely drawn dicks. While Chris is covered in doodles and gets an occasional ‘fuck you’ or 'you’re a dick’ on himself from pj. Eventually they meet when Chris writes 'I have a small dick’ on his forehead and sees pj.

A/N: Request a fic here, click a like down there. This isn’t youtube people, you guys aren’t stupid enough to need to be told what to do

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