i love how this one line actually killed me

feyre-cursebreaker  asked:

I reread Dark Paradise and I wanted to tell you how much I really loved the whole story. The line where Nesta cries to Cassian about how no one ever wanted her hit me so hard I teared up. If you decided to do something similar with another ship, I'd totally support it.

Thaaaanks!!! 😘😘😘 I actually have some Moriel angst I wrote/need to edit. But it’s not as angsty as Dark Paradise and it’s only one part. But I have been thinking of a “what if Azriel died and Mor was pregnant” story. 💀💔🗑 but of course I can’t kill Azriel if that’s the case. Lol. I need happy endings!!! So I need to think about it. I also have an idea for a feysand one. LOL. I have no many ideas floating around. But I need to not be so damn busy at work! Ugh!

anonymous asked:

Shepherd Book.

what other characters could you see me roleplay as

Hmm… that’s not one I’d ever considered. I briefly considered Simon Tam on my multimuse, actually, but Whedon dialogue is so hard to get right that I have to really limit myself on his characters despite how much I like them. I do love the Shepherd though.

Originally posted by theraggedyedge-blog

What I think about during the songs at our concerts

Okay so, for some of the songs, I am just mediating on a feeling. But there are some songs that make me think of VERY specific people/ times in my life, and I thought it would be really special to share those with you!! These are some very personal details, but you guys know I am a very open person and I don’t mind sharing at all.


Hearts On Fire-
I think of the last person I REALLY liked before I left California. It was his decision to end things, and that song describes how I felt PERFECTLY. Especially, “and it felt like magic / but I knew I couldn’t have it”. I think about the intense moments of romance and then the feeling of it all falling apart.. Unpacking the picture of us together when I got to Tennessee (see the poem on my tumblr, “minutes like mountains”, I wrote that that night..) and how I crumbled to the carpet in my new room, feeling it all so sharp and fresh.


Fall Back-
I think of this guy I was really good friends with in California, and then we started liking each other and everything ended. (Scroll down to the poem “November third” on here)
It was the worst thing I have ever experienced- losing a person who was not only someone I really liked and had strong feelings for, but also one of my best friends. That broke me so deep, I said I wasn’t gonna allow myself to fall for anyone for a YEAR.. That didn’t work so well lol but I actually did run into him at the grocery store in Malibu several times, so Fall Back REALLY gives me the feels!! Wahhhh!!


I’m A Mess-
UGHHHHHH. I actually think of a few people for this one. I’ve definitely been “messed” with a lot- just got caught up with these cold, closed off people who send tons of mixed signals, and I end up feeling so confused, frustrated, insecure and rejected. I like performing this song cause I think of these guys and it helps me express that pent-up frustration!


A Lot Like Love-
This song actually makes me think of one of my best friends a lot. She had a few situations where she was used by guys and watching her go through that KILLED me. There was one particularly horrible incident she told me about that affected me so much.. I went to the beach alone the next day and wept so hard thinking about what happened to her. I remember the sky was very stormy and the beach was empty and my heart hurt so much, thinking of how she felt.
The line that always wrecks me is “I can feel him add my name to his list/ I’m nothing more than a number.” I really relate to that because there have been a lot of experiences I’ve had where I felt like the guy was just using me for emotional gratification, or the “ego boost” of having a girl in his life. That’s the worst feeling- utterly dehumanizing.


Easy To Forget Me-
Oh man. This is probably the most relatable song to me in our set. I think about this all the time- I’ve had sooo many experiences where I’ve felt like my friends don’t understand me and they just forget about me. I almost always feel like I am too much- like my stories are too long, my thoughts too deep, my emotions too heavy. I feel like a misfit a lot- misunderstood and alone, like even the people who really love me and try really hard to be good friends to me don’t really “get” me. Sometimes I think I am an alien 👽. Lol. I think that’s one of the reasons I love God so much- the idea that He fully and completely understands my thoughts, feelings and intentions is refreshing- a life saver.
I’ve been forgotten and abandoned by friends so many times, but one of the ones that really weighs on my heart lately is an old friend. I’ve known her since I was a kid, and I thought we would ALWAYS be friends. She’s an incredible person, but we have definitely lost touch over the last few years and she never really talks to me anymore. It hurts a lot. I think about her every single night we play this song on stage.


Move On-
I think about the same guy I told you about for Fall Back.
Story about this one actually:
Christina made the demo for it in 2013, and I L O V E D the song so much, I put it on my iPod so I could listen to it.
I remember so clearly - we were in New York for an awards show. It was November, really cold out. We were going to and from the event in a big limo, and I remember looking out the window at night and I wrote a poem that began “big cities are the loneliest places.”
I was thinking of him. Things had ended just a few weeks before, and I was so raw, so broken. I had never felt a pain like that- losing a best friend, and someone I also had deep feelings for. That night when we got back to the hotel, I remember laying on the floor in the dark after everyone had gone to sleep, listening to the demo of “Move On” and crying as quietly as possible so I didn’t wake anyone up. I remember the hot tears and how they fell down the side of my face.
Move On is one of my favorites from the Hearts On Fire mixtape because of the comfort it provided me in that moment. I will always think of him when we perform this song, and that moment in the hotel room in New York, two winters ago.


Before October’s Gone-
THIS IS MY FAVORITEEEEE SONG FROM THE MIXTAPE!!! WAHHHHH!!!
Two stories for this one :))
1. I remember the first time I heard Christina playing it on the piano downstairs. She had told me that she was writing a song based on Dani’s experience of heartbreak and that Dani had written the verse lyrics. The first verse slays me, “Our phone calls got shorter/ and the nights they got longer/ you stopped replying/ and I saw you with her”
I was upstairs when I heard her singing out the chorus “Maybe sometimes things just have to end.. Maybe sometimes, there’s just no explaining it.”
I thought of Dani and how Dani felt and I felt sooooo sad for her. I remember crying upstairs and thinking “Wow, this is a really special song.”
Then, onto my own experience of the song…
2. So, the last guy I liked before I left California (see Hearts on Fire notes lol 😜)…
The night he told me “let’s just be friends”.. It was the night before I moved to Tennessee. And ironically, that week I had really started falling for him. I remember driving home from his parents house listening to Gravity by Sara Bareilles just a few days before, because it totally described how I felt- I really, really liked him, but I could feel him pushing me away; he was so cold and distant that last week and it KILLED me.
So that night that he essentially rejected me, he gave me a little memento of one of our dates and I remember thinking “w0t m8???? Why would I want to remember this when you just rejected me ???”
So I put on a smile when I said goodbye to him for the last time, but as soon as I got into my car I lost it and started crying really hard. This was actually the same day we released the mixtape and I had been listening to it obsessively, so as I drove away, I put on BOG. It was absolutely PERFECT for the moment! “Maybe sometimes things just have to end..”
As I drove away, I may or may not have thrown the little “memento” out the window. Lol oops 😳


Good Enough-
Wahhhhhhh. This song is probably the most personal. I mean it was written about divorce, and my parents are married and our family is doing good, but I always think back to my pre-teen/ early teen years when things were pretty rough in my fam, and the tense silences and coldness. When I was a kid, I remember feeling like it was all my fault. I think back to the fights and the bad times and feeling guilty, like if I was a perfect kid and I helped clean the kitchen and set the plates just perfectly and take care of my little siblings and just generally stayed out of the way, invisible yet perfect, then I could fix things. I think about anxiety, times when I felt depressed and hopeless and so restless I thought my skin would crawl off. If I didn’t have God, and the outlet of writing, I really don’t know where I would be… I have a large wooden chest in my room, stuffed with papers I have written poems and feelings on. I think, if those were still inside of me, who would I be?


You’re Worth It-
This is the song where I am the most present onstage with all the people in the audience. I look out and I see people who are crying really hard, or who look like they’re trying not to cry cause they feel uncomfortable expressing emotion in public, or who are just very quiet and listening carefully to the lyrics of the song. I appreciate every single person there, no maybe what their reaction is.
In this moment, I am usually crying and my shirt is stained with black tears (lol emo as m8)
I am thinking about every single word of the song, and deeply feeling the message. My favorite line of the song, “You are not a burden, not a waste / you’re not a copy, can’t be replaced". I really relate to this line because I feel like a burden a lot. Sometimes I’ll just stand on stage hugging myself for a moment or two, as I relate to this song so much, too.
I look out and usually at every show there is at least one person I know their personal story. And I can see the pain in their eyes as they think about times they felt worthless. This really touches my heart; I just want to make everyone better. I want God’s love to flow in everyone’s hearts, for them to all feel the peace that only He can bring. I know I can’t fix people, but for that moment, I can be present with them as they bravely express their pain in front of me. My favorite part is when I get to reach out and touch people’s hands during this song.. I always try to think healing thoughts and I pray for the person I am with. I look in their eyes and I really, really want them to know how good, lovable and beautiful they are. I want them to feel worthy and valuable.
This song always makes me realize the true magnitude of what I am lucky enough to do. It’s so much more than what I could have dreamed of doing at twenty three- to reach out and touch people, to cry with them, to look them in the eye and think “You are worth it. You are valuable. You are loved. You don’t have to change who you are to be good enough. You already are.”
And I really don’t care about anything else to be honest. I think award shows and photo shoots and “networking events” are boring as HECK. I don’t really like wearing makeup (or shoes for that matter lol) and the music industry as a whole depresses me.
You’re Worth It is one of best things I’ve ever been a part of. Touring that song has been life-changing for me. It has healed me, inspired me and renewed me. I feel like I am a braver person, after many nights of experiencing that song and the power it has to touch my life and the lives of others.. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!! My life is so rewarding, I really could not be more grateful!!!


Wow. If you actually read all the way to the end, we are pretty much close friends at this point. Lol. You are probably thinking “wow Kath cries a lot…” which is TRUE, haha. I’m a highly sensitive person and I feel things really deep. But I really like that about myself now!! I’ve accepted and embraced it and I wouldn’t have it any other way!


I just wanted to thank every single person who has come to our shows. You really have no idea how much it means to me and my family to see you there, supporting us, allowing us to try to make a difference in a darkened world.

I love you guys!!!!


Sincerely, with love,
Kath 💜

“Great love is wild, and passionate, and dangerous. It burns and consumes.”

(BtVS - Seeing Red)

Ah yes, the infamous bathroom scene that people either prefer to forget, or use to shame others with. Yet I keep bringing it up like the snooze on your alarm clock when all you want to do is sleep in.

I wrote this post (x) last year about the importance of this scene, and how it actively kills the fantasy we’ve been so enthralled by, etc, etc. But there’s this line about love that Spike says (the one above) in this scene, that I keeps being brought up in either a romantic context, or used as an example of Spike not loving Buffy. And it really makes me want to address it. Cause I don’t agree with either of these things one bit.

Lets rewind some, and talk about season 5-6. I believe Buffy and Spike had feelings for each other quite early on actually. And yes, one side might have been obsessive and a soulless selfish bastardization of love, and the other might have been reluctant and in denial one, but they were feelings nonetheless. Buffy had great difficulties with her emotions when it came to her love life. She got way too burned with Angel, and that lead to her not telling another love interest she loved them until the very last episode. But I think her self loathing with how she’d treated Spike in season 6 “Please don’t forgive me, please”, and the way she continuously went to him for comfort, release, and even love “Tell me you love me”, then her complete belief in him in season 7… I think all of it spoke volumes for how she actually felt for him. Spike was simply a lot more passionate in his way of showing his feeling for her, even if they were for the wrong reasons at first, the feelings were still there. He showed them to her not only with words, but things like keeping his promise to her even after her death in regards to Dawn.

And that brings me back to the bathroom scene, because I agree with what Spike is saying. Love can be great and wild, it can be passionate and dangerous, it can burn and consume. And while this is a very damaging love, and all love doesn’t look like this, it is love nonetheless. No amount of arguing “you don’t hurt people you love like that” will change that. Because we do hurt people we love, all the time. Intentional or not.

Which is why that particular line in the bathroom scene is important, because love is so often seen as this ultimate positive entity, when that’s simply not the case. Love is not by any means inherently good - it’s a powerful, blinding, and volatile force, that can be used for destruction just as much as hate can. 

Hello! Love your books, and I have two questions I am curious to know the answer to. 1: How does co-writing a book work? Like, does one pitch ideas and the other do the actual writing? Or do you actually sit together and come up with each line together? Because matching different writing styles and things like that seems so difficult to me! 2: It is said a few times in both TMI and TID that demons can only be killed/harmed by weapons that have runes on them (right?) Because otherwise the demons would just heal. But then there’s the scene where Jace kills the fear demon on Valentine’s ship with a random metal strut, and the scene where Will kills the Mrs. Dark demon by crashing a chandelier onto it (which wouldn’t have runes on it, right?). So I was wondering about how it works. Again, love your work and I’m very excited for TDI and TLH to come out! Hugs! — yentlxsanders

1. There are all kinds of ways to collaborate. Holly and I talk about ideas, developing the outline for a story so we know what events happen and in which order. When it comes to writing, we try to be in the same place so we can pass the computer back and forth. We write, rewrite and edit together, so the Magisterium books end up with one voice that is a combination of both of us.

2. What is a weapon? Good question. I shall attempt to clarify below.

2.1 Agramon and the particularities of resistance to normal weapons:

The varieties of demons have different traits, and resistance to un-runed weapons is a on spectrum, rather than being all-or-nothing. There haven’t been scientific tests done, where every single kind of demon is rounded up, contained, and attacked with variety of weapons to see whether they work. Lacking those results, Shadowhunters have had to make assumptions based on what they’ve seen in the field. What they’ve seen is that most demons are definitely resistant, so they err on the side of caution and act as though all demons are completely resistant, always carrying runed weapons. (There are probably historical accounts in which certain demons are claimed to be less resistant, but they’re pretty sketchy, and what if those demons had some individual genetic flaw unrelated to their species? What if they were just having a bad day? Trusting those tales would be a dangerous gamble.)
Not a whole lot is known about the nature of Agramon. He likes it that way, and I’m not going to tell you everything about him, because he might appear again someday and that would really take the fun out of him. But I will give you this tidbit: it would make sense if Agramon were among the less-resistant-to-nonruned weapons. He doesn’t need that resistance. He literally terrifies his prey to death, becoming the manifestation of their greatest fears. Even the toughest warriors can barely raise a trembling pinky under his influence, let alone a sword. He has other defenses that make resistance to ordinary weapons seem trivial. A broken strut in the hands of Jace was able to destroy him (well, return him to his home dimension), but Jace was only able to get that close to him and stiff function because of the Fearless rune Clary invented. (Was Jace’s own angel blood a factor? Maybe. We have no way of knowing for certain.)
Agramon hates the Fearless rune, obviously.

2.2
Demons are, in some form, living creatures. As such, they are vulnerable to physical accidents. If a (flightless) demon falls off a high cliff, they won’t survive even though the ground wasn’t runed. If a (exoskeleton-free) demon gets buried in a rockslide, they won’t survive even though the rocks weren’t runed. The same goes for getting crushed under large objects, like chandeliers, grand pianos, and roof collapses. I’m sure that at one or another point in history, Shadowhunters put runes all over trebuchets, catapults, and their ammunition. Did they need to? Probably not, but it couldn’t hurt.

3

So all the cast really liked their portraits, but Keahu and Melissa took the time to write me these lovely messages. That said, my favorite autograph was still this one of Linden from Wyatt Earp. He was trying to remember his line from the movie and ended up writing ‘I think we should kill them all’, but the actual line is: I say we just kill 'em all.

Let’s Do the Time Warp: Why the S3 Finale Rocked

Okay, kids, sit down, buckle up, and take a DEEEEP breath ‘cause we’re going into the long-awaited S3 finale review full speed ahead. I’ve only got a few minutes before the little ninja wakes up, so this is going to be what I’m calling the unfiltered Screwball Ninja experience: minimal editing, maximum stream-of-consciousness rambling– think Hunter S. Thompson without the psychedelics and with a predilection for rambling about fairy-tale characters.

You said it, Rumple!

First off, some people objected to the S3 finale for the following reasons:

  1. IT SHOULD’VE BEEN NEAL *sob sob sob*
  2. Get your Hook out of my Snowing!
  3. Timey-wimey stuff is just like fanfiction
  4. Frozen is such a cash-grab OMG

Understandably bitter Nealfire fans get a pass because he’s dead, dead, deaders and his leather-clad rival is running around FTL in a new frock coat courtesy of Banana Republic couture, and I imagine that might chafe. (Chafe the Neal fans’ FEELINGS, not Hook’s … let’s continue, shall we?)

Still dead. (Too soon?)

But I think everybody else should give the finale another chance. Ready to hear why, why, why?

Keep reading

motoman085  asked:

What are your top 10 LDR songs?

  1. “Video Games” — This was the first song by Lana that I listened to and I will always love it. 
  2. “For K, Part 2” — You don’t wanna see me dance and sing to this one, because, God, I totally feel it. Lyrics, melody, beats. It’s a masterpiece.
  3. “Brooklyn Baby” — I love the guitars, the melody and the lyrics. I can really relate to this one.
  4. “Motel 6” — Cleaning the house is actually fun when you listen to this. Lana sounds so sassy.
  5. “How Do You Know Me So Well” — Great lyrics. Favourite out of all the May Jailer songs.
  6. “West Coast” — The chorus melts me, I love that it is so slow. 
  7. “Kill Kill” — First unreleased song by Lana I listened to. It kind of reminds me of West Coast, I think these two go together very well. It’s got a similar vibe in my opinion.
  8. “Gramma” — I think what makes me like this one so much is the way Lana sings it, I know it by heart.
  9. “Pawn Shop Blues” — Favourite song to listen to when I’m sad though it only makes it worse. 
  10. “This Is What Makes Us Girls” — This one is so sad, too. I just love how she tells the story. Beautiful lyrics.

I could add so many more to this list… I even like LQ ones like “Bentley” and then there are “Ride”, “Million Dollar Man” and the live version of “Without You” and so many more! I love these all so much too. I think that’s what makes Lana my favourite artist — she’s the only one whose songs I simply cannot dislike, they’re all great and special to me.

Everything aside, let’s all agree that the episode was a BIG BOMB! I can’t remember any other episode that left me confused like this! not that there’s something I don’t understand, but for the fact that I don’t know how to feel with everything going on! 

I literally feel like I have two personalities right now. So just let us get it out! If I ignore the accent, I think I’ll be okay with Valerie, I mean we saw more of her and that’s kinda better. 

But now the whole Stalerie thing (is that the name?) I’m just trying really hard to understand how is it that two people spend the day together and end up making out and then it’s true love? And aaahhh it’s out of character for Stefan Salvatore to get down with some girl he just met (at least he knew Elena for few days not hours) specially when it’s his first time! They just made them look so close and it was just one day?? Okay if you insist on coming up with old love just make it logical! I thought they would know each other for a while NOT A DAY!!

And honestly Stefan got on my nerves this episode! I’m trying to understand how is he brooding on a bench while Caroline is still kidnapped? Same with that scene when Valerie interrupted their phone call, he didn’t seem irritated that she got caught! I just don’t understand the writers right now!

My problem is that, Valerie is clear, she is still in love with Stefan. (gurl needs our prayers for falling so hard for someone she spent 12 hours with even if it was Stefan Salvatore) But Stefan is the one I’m putting lots of circles around because what are you doing kid? more like what are you feeling? The car scene with Lily I was sure that when she didn’t came he was hurt, and it still hurts! but then that scene on the bench?? that was a lot for someone he knew FOR ONE DAY! even Katherine didn’t touch him like that? excuse me but what the hell! which also reminds me, I just feel that Stefan was lying in the last scene when he said Valerie doesn’t change anything, not at Caroline but at himself!

now that’s person A, person B is actually feeling bad for Valerie and Stalerie! Okay just let me explain! Valerie is a victim, she lost her child, had to kill herself and she truly loved Stefan! Yes can’t swallow that they knew each other for one day but she loves him that’s it for her!

I’m just really torn between rolling my eye at how the writers put them together and how rushed and um… forced they feel, but I’m also feeling sad for this tragedy! and then I’m totally worried about the child story line! I mean this is gonna effect both Stefan and Steroline! 

If this is how every episode gonna leave me like then I’m gonna lose my shit!!