i love how it says night time live happy


QUEEN VICTORIA → It does make my hair stand on end to think that my 2 daughters should turn into des vaches [cows].

Vicky’s fourth child in six years of marriage arrived on September 15, 1864. It was another son. By the time this baby was born, Vicky had enough self-confidence to defy her mother and mother-in-law and nurse the child herself. “I am sorry to find that Vicky’s determination to nurse her baby makes you so angry,” Victoria’s sister Feodora wrote Victoria from Baden; “the Queen of Prussia feels the same as you. I have no opinion… as I have always felt it a duty for a mother to nurse her child if she can and if the doctors approve.”

“My little darling is grown so fat!” Vicky wrote one of her mother’s ladies-in-waiting two months after the baby’s birth. “He has not had a single ache or pain and sleeps like a top. He lives next door to me, and I wash and dress him every night myself. I nurse him 5 times a day. I cannot say how happy I am with him and what a delight nursing is. I really think I never was so happy, & I certainly never loved one of the others so much. It is too strange that crowned head have sworn such enmity to this very innocent occupation.”

Queen Victoria not only disapproved of Vicky’s nursing her baby, but was furious at her for influencing her sister Alice to nurse her newborn as well. The Queen had thought that Alice, like their mother, “disliked the disguting details of the nursery…” “all & every one of which Vicky delights in,” and was pained to discover otherwise. “There is in everything the animal of our nature…” Victoria wrote to Alice “but this - when one is high born - one can avoid & ought to avoid. I maintain that a child can never be as well nursed by a lady of rank & nervous & refined temperament - for the less feeling & the more like an animal the wet nurse is, the better for the child. It hurts me deeply that my own 2 daughters should set at defiance the advice of a Mother of 9 Children, 46 years old. You said you did it only for your health & because you had no social duties. Well Vicky has none of these excuses, & indeed has very important public & social duties to perform which she cannot with nursing & if she gives up her duties as Crown Princess she will right enrage the King & Queen & the whole of Society. I think you could speak to her much more strongly than any one else. I never say anything more to Vicky for she always disagrees with me.” 

On another occcasion, Vicky arrived in Homburg in early September. Her sister Alice, about to give birth to another child, was with her, and the Crown Princess shuttled between her family and the hospital. After the baby’s birth, Alice had trouble with her milk, so Vicky, who was still nursing four-month-old Sophie, helped nurse her sister’s child as well. 

{An Uncommon Woman : The Empress Frederick by Hannah Pakula}


request:  Omg 24, 30, and 42 sounds interesting lol love you 😘  & could u do 24 and 46

hello loves! i’m coming at you with more friend Harry. honestly, this one i had a hard time coming up with ideas for, so bare with me. send in those requests from this writing list, or whatever you want! hope you enjoy!

Being a chef had some many perks. First, obviously, was that you knew how to cook. Second, you got to do what you loved. It wasn’t always a practical job that your family wanted for you, but in the end, you did what you wanted for yourself, and didn’t care so much about what others thought. Finally, your friends got gourmet cooking. That was more of a perk for your friends, but you liked doing what you loved for the people that you loved. Your roommate, Harry got the most benefits, mainly saving money on food, not that he really needed to.

You and Harry had been best friends since primary school. Your families were friends since they had been in Uni, so naturally you guys became close friends as well. After Harry’s hiatus, he came to stay with you for a while, just wanting to be back in London with his family and you. He had been with you for about a month before you guys decided just to move in together. You knew that once writing began again for him, he wouldn’t be around as much, so you were happy that he was with you while he could be. There was just one issue with Harry living with you.

That man did not know how to cook.

But he still tried to at least once a week. So that meant once a week, you were under so much stress simply from Harry cooking. You tried telling him every single time that he just didn’t know how to cook, but of course he would say, “I used to be a baker, love. It’s not that different.” Usually on nights when he would cook, you would call a pizza shop telling them to send over a cheese pizza in 30 minutes. Harry took offense to this, but you were always right. You didn’t know the severity of his awful cooking until one night after getting home from your restaurant around eight. You walked into your flat and were met with a putrid smell. Harry was in the living room, eating pizza.

“Harry, why does it smell like smoke? Why do you smell like smoke?” you said while giving him a kiss on the cheek hello.

“Well, you see, I saw this recipe for a spinach quinoa that I wanted to try, and I may have left it on the stove for too long,” he explained, timidly.

“How long is to long?” you asked.

“20 minutes,” he mumbled, knowing that you were going to be frustrated.

“Harry!” you scolded.

“I know, I know. But there’s more.”

“Oh god, what?” you asked, not exactly wanted to know the answer.

“There may have been a small fire.”

Your mouth fell agape, not actually believing that his cooking was that bad.

This isn’t just one of your little jokes, right?” you asked, walking into the kitchen.

“I wish it was,” he said following.

You screeched when you saw the damage. There was a fire mark on top of the ceiling above the stove. It wasn’t awful, but it was your kitchen. Your home. And you were mad.

“Dammit Harry! What were you doing in those 20 minutes?!” you yelled.

“Well, I had an idea for a song, and went to write it down in my journal, but then I thought of lyrics, and it all flowed together. Sorry, Y/n.”

You were still mad, but didn’t like fighting with Harry, so you changed subjects.

“Can I at least hear the song?”

And that was the last time you let Harry cook for a month. Then he tried again, with you in the house, but your knowledge of his cooking adventure was unknown to you. You were upstairs, reading, when you smelled smoke. You sat there for a minute, waiting to see if anything would happen. Then you heard Harry.


Then you ran downstairs, to a very smoky area. Harry was in the kitchen with a fire extinguisher that you bought after Harry’s first accident. He was putting out a very large fire that started to spread to the counter. Luckily, Harry got the source of the fire out before it spread any further, then moved onto the counters, which didn’t take long to get out. He put down the fire extinguisher and slowly turned to you, knowing he was in deep shit.

“Before you say anything, I already ordered the pizza.”

“Harry! This isn’t funny! This is your second fire! You put us both in danger!” you shouted.

“I know. I’m really, really sorry. Truly!” he said.

I’m begging you, STOP COOKING! I’m literally a fucking chef! I’ll cook!” you said.

“But I like cooking. It’s fun,” he said, a tad bit whiny.

“Then I’ll teach you! Just don’t cook alone until I’ve taught you everything,” you reasoned.

“Okay. I’m sorry!” he said one last time.

“I know. C’mon, let’s go get stuff to redo the wall that you destroyed.”


okay i was talking about this earlier and i’m still thinking about it

about the difference between the optimism of Carnival vs. Honeymoon. I remember how tense Yongguk was during the countdown to Carnival on V Live. I think it’s probably safe to say he was struggling with some anxiety by that point. And look, I love that album, it’s fun, it’s happy, it’s light, it’s probably all the things Yongguk feels most with the other members. I wonder if some of his anxiety that night was because he didn’t feel that way most of the time, so the music felt false to him somehow. Our “silence is better than bullshit” man would probably hate that.

But so then cut to the release of Honeymoon, how EXCITED and relaxed and happy he looked on that V Live. I think Honeymoon is just so much more HOPEFUL than anything else…the hope that you can go through some really dark shit and come out on the other side. It doesn’t mean you’re “cured” or whatever, but it’s something you can take with you even if you wind up in the dark again, even if you have to face it alone. You faced it before, you can do it again, and your people will still be there for you when you come out.

imagine being in a long distance relationship with jimin and always waiting until late at night in your time zone to talk to him at a reasonable time in KST. He would hate that your sleeping schedule was so screwed up and that you were always sleep deprived and tired at work. He would feel like it was his fault for not being able to be by your side due to his hectic schedule but you assured him you didn’t mind at all because as long as you got to talk to your amazing boyfriend you were a-okay !! But then, SURPRISE SURPRISE, one day there’s at knock at your door later in the evening after you had barely got home from work and there he is. Jimin in a tux and a beautiful bouquet of flowers, with a wide smile on his face accompanied by rosy cheeks. You struggle to get any words out so yOu’re just standing there shooketh as fuk covering your mouth tears about to burst out of your eYeS and you’re just like wOw ((’: my bf ((’: loves and cares ((’: so much ((’: about me ((’: ((((“: you threw yourself at him and wrapped your arms around his slim body as he lifted you up and spun you around and pressed small kisses all over ur cute lil face ((((((’: “I can’t believe you’re here oh my gOd i love you” “well u better believe it b because I’m staying for a whole week!! I know you always stay up late and lose sleep so you can just talk to me but i wanted to be here so i could be by your side and you wouldn’t have to stay up to video call me. I’ll be here the whole time 💖💗💗💘💗💖❤💕💓💜💙🖤💝💛💞💚💟❣💞💞💚🖤💛💟💟💙💙💘❤❤💚🖤💛💝💛💞.” “Idk how you even said the last part but wOW I LOVE YOU I HAVE THE BEST BF EVER??!?@?@?#&%*#(%*$*=($((”

“ “Omg how did you say that” “I don’t know SEE THIS IS WHAT U DO 2 ME!!!!!” (hhshdjfkdl imnotsorry) anyways you guys cuddle the whole night and then do so much soft and cheesy couple stuff the whole week and isss so sad when he has to leave but ofc he’s gonna come back to see you because he loves you so much and you’re both so happy together and he doesn’t even know how he lives without being next to you all the time ahdkfkelglldd gosj im so emo

anonymous asked:

I used to love this time of night. The 2AM’s when there’s nothing but the sound of the rain and the voice of the one you love most in this world. But those times are gone, they died with her. How do I get back my midnights, my early mornings, without seeing her face? How do I take back what’s been lost? I can’t live without it, but I can’t stand to live in it like I used to.

The say that we’re depressed when we think about the past, we’re anxious when we think about the future and we’re happy when we live in the now— but that’s not all true. Some people relish because the past happened, some people live in today while loving how they’ll be in the future— in reality, it’s all about perspective and how you perceive your surroundings. I know that you miss her, but let’s face it. Would she have really wanted this? This isn’t living until you start over and sometimes that’s hard, I know. Easier said than done, but it must be done.

Let’s appreciate how almost all of You’s screen time in Episode 8 was devoted to her saying “Chika-chan…” and giving Chika worried looks.


As I sat in the living room earlier watching Jeremy sleep, I literally broke down in tears, knowing what he’s been through in his short life. I do know he’s very happy now being part of our family but it still breaks my heart to see him hurt like he did last night. I know time and our love will heal him, and it has, but it’s still hard when we see how venerable he still can be when he wakes up to the nightmares that used to be his life. Say a prayer for him that he can eventually let this go and live his life that he now has with us. 😢

Shakespeare Sentence Starters

“That is should come to this!”
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking it makes it so.”
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
“Brevity is the soul of wit.”
“And it must follow, as the night the day, though canst not then be false to any man.”
“How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes!”
“I like this place and willingly could waste my time in it.”
“Now is the winter of our discontent.”
“So wise, so young, they say, do never live long.”
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
“But love is blind, and lovers cannot see.”
“I like not fair terms and a villain’s mind.”
“The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.”
“The better part of valour is discretion.”
“A man can die but once.”
“Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.”
“There’s daggers in men’s smiles.”
“Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.”
“Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?”
“Fair is foul, and foul is fair.”
“The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief.”
“I have not slept one wink.”
“Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.”
“These words are razors to my wounded heart.”
“You pay a great deal too dear for what’s given freely.”
“The common curse of mankind–folly and ignorance.”

Monsta X in a Long Distance Relationship with you!


  • Wonho is always sending snapchats, even when the situation doesn’t call for it.
  • He’s also the type to screenshot all of your pics if they have your face in it.
  • He loves seeing your texts whenever you do send them because you two probably only talk through snapchat
  • On instagram, he’s your number one hype man and is always leaving like five comments on every picture with a dozen of emojis
  • He never usually sends voice messages, but if you were feeling down, you bet his ass would send you an entire song through a voice message
  • The first time he got to see you in person, he did not let you go for like fifteen whole minutes.
  • He would probably cry when he had to fly home, he’d also say something really cheesy before he left like, “I have to fly back to where I live, but my home is always with you”


  • He mostly talks to you through Facebook or Text
  • He doesn’t send many selfies, but if he’s having a good day, you might be lucky enough to get one from him.
  • He isn’t an avid emoji user, but he loves using the heart emojis
  • He might have his hands full a lot more, so you can expect calls and voice messages from him a lot more than the other members
  • He loves to hear your voice at night, too, but you and him live in different time zones so hearing his tired and deep voice in during a call in the morning/afternoon is a little strange, but you get used to it
  • When you two meet in person for the first time, he is practically glowing with happiness, he spends every moment he can with you while he’s with you in person.
  • When he has to go home, he doesn’t want to go, but he knows that you two will see each other again soon, so he’ll look forward to being with you again.


  • Sometimes you will go days without a single text-based conversation bc you’re just texting ugly pictures back and forth
  • But that’s sometimes not in your favor because he uses you as memes when you two are play fighting
  • Sometimes nights with Hyungwon get really deep and he reminds you that he’s really in love with you
  • Hyungwon does not have a middle ground, he either is 100% awake and responding to you the entire day, or he’s 100% sleeping and not responding to anything you send him
  • Because of the time zone difference, it’s hard to tell when he’s going to be awake and when he’s going to be asleep
  • He’s always @-ing you on public social media so that you two can be the social media power couple of the century
  • When Hyungwon meets you in real life, he tries to play it cool but he really can’t hold himself back from getting all giddy because he’s with you now!
  • When Hyungwon needs to go home, he needs to be convinced to leave because he’s so comfortable around you and loves you so much that he doesn’t want to leave you


  • Daily reminders to sleep, eat, take your meds (if any), and to enjoy life and relax
  • He’d get a bit worried about you not responding right away, when he knows that you two would be awake at the same time.
  • He only calls if it’s an emergency, like something happened to him or if he heard something happened to you.
  • He sends you reminders about certain dates and things that you have trouble remembering before he falls asleep so you’ll see them in the morning
  • He would want to facetime you but he would have to plan out the details like a day prior so he can prepare
  • When he meets you in person, he greets you as if you two had met in person before. The atmosphere is calming
  • When he has to leave you, he would say his goodbyes and be off, but he’d purposely forget something with you so you wouldn’t forget your days together


  • He’s super happy whenever he gets a notification from you, even if it was just a like on his posts
  • Snapchats are frequent but he never texts through snapchat, all his snapchats are A++++ selfies that look good enough to put in a museum
  • He’d send his goodnights/I love yous through voice messages
  • Will 100% call you just to say “I love you”
  • 70% of his snapchat stories/instagram posts are about how much he wants to be with you in person
  • At night, he complains about being so distant from you and says that he’ll take every chance he gets to see you in person
  • When you two meet for the first time in person, he’s super clingy and happy to see you, his love is overflowing!!
  • When he has to say goodbye, he promises you that he’ll try to come back every year around the same time and he’ll learn more about the place you live in, so you two can make the most of their location


  • So many snapchats and facetime sessions!! He loves to see your beautiful face!!
  • He leads on like he’d be the type to send a paragraph of text as a good morning text, but he’d probably send a voice message of him screaming “good morning” to you
  • He loves you so much and is not afraid to let you know through seven snapchats and five texts
  • Double texting? He probably Quintuple texts just to get his point across
  • Constantly venting/ranting about something petty/minor
  • Definitely over-uses emojis
  • When he meets you in person, his first goal is to make you laugh with his ridiculous humor, he probably screeches and hugs you really tightly
  • When he has to go home, however, he absolutely does not want to leave you. He probably drew out his goodbye for too long and ends up almost missing his flight.

Chankyun (I.M):

  • At first, his texts and calls are pretty standard, like the “How are you, how was your day, I love you” type of calls/texts
  • When he’s finally comfortable with you, he probably sends you memes
  • He is an avid user of the wholesome memes about loving their significant other
  • Definitely sends you long texts, but you never know what they could be about. They could be a meme theory, his longest yeah boi, or just an entire thesis on how much he loves you
  • He’d be super weak to you pretending to kiss him through the phone on a snapchat or through a call
  • When he meets you in person, he seems a bit reserved and quiet, but once you leave the airport and are in the car, it’s meme central
  • When he has to leave, he knows that when he gets off the plane, he’s probably just going to text you, so he doesn’t make a big fuss about leaving until he actually has to leave you. 

guess who’s birthday it is where I liiiiiiive. sonnyyyyy! good thing in Australia we’re a day ahead of everyone else. but anyway, happy birthday to the man that makes my days bright, to the man that makes me feel safe, to the man that keeps me going, to the man that makes me the person I am today. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Sonny. Here never stopped me from believing and he never made me give up. Last time he came to here I tried so hard to see if I could meet him since my aunt works for radio. I never got to meet him in the flesh, but he told me he loved me on live air and gave me a shoutout. so it’s like we have met but we haven’t really 😂 he always makes me feel happy on sad doomy days and protected on dark nights. and watching him grow up into the man he is today, 27 years old, I think about how the time has gone and how much he’s gone through with his career. To wrap this all up, I just wanted to say happy birthday to my favourite artist, my favourite friend, my favourite angel. I love you. And I’ll never stop. - Maddie ❤️👽 skrillex

The Voicemail II (S.Coups)

type: one shot

genre: angsty fluff

synopsis: things weren’t as you seemed

author’s note: in honor of the comeback

|part one|

You didn’t know. You didn’t know whether he meant for you to listen to it or just delete it, unopened, so it would go into the void of unknown. But you did. And what it said left you breathless.

“I spent countless nights thinking about you. Thinking about the way your laugh filled me with happiness and how, for some reason, you were always cold and I was there to keep you warm. I wondered, night after night, if I told you that I loved you, would you say it back? And the first time I said it, that freezing winter night when your nose and cheeks were bright red and your teeth were clattering in the cold, you said it back. I can’t quite describe how I felt in that moment, but I’ll tell you this. An infinite amount of happiness couldn’t live up to it.

I know it’s hard – things like this. The heartaches and the tears aren’t worth any of it in the end. Especially when you deserve someone better. You deserve someone who will give you their time and theirself. 

But me?” At this, he let a small sigh into the phone. “No. You deserve so much more than me. I’m just Seungcheol. The guy who’s selfish and can’t give you any time because I’m scared of messing things up. But, I know I already have. And none of that is your fault, it’s mine. 

So, really. I am saying goodbye. And I’m saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the troubles I’ve put you through – all the tears, and frustration, and sadness. But I also hope you find all of the joy, and laughter, and adventures again. Just not with me. It’s a waste of time if it’s with me.

I’m sorry.”

The phone clicked, after listening to the message over ten times. The first time you heard it, you sat in silence. Your hope of everything being okay was swept away by his words. His words that you wanted to hear reassure you and tell you that everything was fine. 

But they weren’t. Clearly.

You saw him in everything. When you were out walking, he was in the boy riding his bike along the sidewalk. He was in the laugh of the woman sitting on the bench. 

And when you went to school, he was in the slam of locker doors or the complicated math problem. He was in everything and it left you in despair. 

You thought you saw him walking down the sidewalk sometimes. Stopping in your own tracks just to double check. It never was him. Until one day.

You were sitting in a cafe, doing homework with a friend of yours, heads thrown back in giggles. Thoughts of Seungcheol had slowly started to retaliate, leaving you with a free feeling, but an empty one at that. You glanced out at the sunny street. The light was beaming down on the road; couples walked hand in hand, a dog weaved in and out of them. 

Then, there he was – hands shoved in his slouching jeans, a wrinkled white t-shirt laying casually on his body. You stood up against the shocked glare of your friend, who tried to make you sit down. But you couldn’t. Involuntarily, your legs carried you outside, away from your friend’s cry of your name, and towards Seungcheol. 

Faster and faster, your legs pushed you toward him until he stopped. You stopped, too. 

He turned his head slightly, after knowing there was someone – who, he didn’t know – following him. He continued walking again.

“Wait!” You called, hoarsely at first, but once he stopped, you knew you had to say it. Something that was bothering you ever since he spoke the words, “You deserve better,” into the phone. Because what you deserved, was him

“You were wrong.”

Birthday Girl

Sebastian Stan x reader

Summary: it is your birthday but Sebastian is in Ireland. 

Originally posted by heartfularry

Originally posted by jakfruit

Credits to the people who uploaded the gifs.

‘Hi love. Happy birthday!’

'Hi Seb. Thank you! How are things in there?’

'Well, this place is fantastic. We should come together someday. Tell me about you, what is going to do the birthday girl?’

'The girls are coming and I suppose we are going out.’

'Have a great night then. Hope you drink as much as you did your last birthday.’

'You still remember that night?’

'You were so funny. I must say I like your drunk version, Y/N. It must sound awkard but…’

'I cant believe we are talking about this Seb. How is the film going?’

'Ok, just let me tell you you owe me a few drinks. Fine. We are filming the last scenes.’

'So, you are coming soon?’

'Yes! I will be soon in there.’

'That is great Seb.’

'Fuck. Y/N, sorry but the break is over. I have to go back to work. I love you.’

'It is Ok. I love you too. Bye.’

'Bye love.’

And this is how your day starts: with Seb’s call. Yes, you are used to this kind of relationship in which he travels a lot and there are times in which both of you do not see for months maybe. And it would be a lie if you say that you dont miss him since the last time you saw him was three months ago. You do not live together but you miss the nights in which one of you sleep in the house of the other, you miss his jokes, you miss him. However, you are happy knowing that he will be here soon. Besides, today is your birthday so, you decide to enjoy your day with your friends.


As you are getting ready before your friends arrive at your department, you get a notification in your cellphone. Once you finish curling your hair, you take you cellphone and look at the notification. You see it and you smile at the screen of your cellphone. Sebastian uploaded a photograph with you on his Instagram. 'Happy birthday to the girl who dates the Winter Soldier but is still part of Team Iron Man.’ They took you that picture in a party and Sebastian and you are dancing while looking and smiling at each other. It can be said that they photographed the perfect moment. God, you love him so much.


'Where do you want to go? You are the birthday girl!’ One of your girlfriends asks you.

'Wherever you want girls. I think we should ask Robin. What do you think Robin? Where should we go?’ Yeah, Robin is the one in the group who goes out the most. Therefore, she knows where the party is.

Robin recommends 'Jagger’ so, you and your five friends go there.

You have been here once and the place is amazing, the environment is fantastic. It is a bar but a disco too.

You are having an excitment and joyful night. Even a guy buys you a drink. You drink it and then you tell him you have a boyfriend. Yes, imagine his face. You take plenty of selfies. You dance as you have not danced in all this time. The girls make you have a perfect night.


You get up the next day because of the sounds your cellphone is making. Your friends start to upload the pictures you took tonight. You stay five more minutes in bed till you are awake enought to get up.

Luckily it is Saturday and luckily you did not drink too much. So, today you will just relax and take the day off. Just coffee and netflix.

And this is how you spend your morning.

In the afternoon, you hear that someone knock the door. It may be Charlotte who forgot her jacket tonight. You grab the jacket and open the door.

'I know you cant live without…’

'Hello Y/N!’

'Seb! Hi. What are you doing here?!?’ You are so suprised. The last thing you would imagine was seeing Sebastian in your department today.

'Well, I asked the director if I could come a couple of days and he let me.’ He kisses you. 

'I missed you. God, these last days I can only imagined you wearing that old man clothes.’

'Do not get use to them, it is just the character.’ He tells you while he kisses you. 'I have  bad news and good news. The bad news: I have to return to Ireland.’

'Shh, just enjoy the days while you are here.’ You hug him.

'Wait, there is more. The good news: you are coming with me. I want to spend more time with you and I dont forget you owe me a drink. So, lets go to the land of beer.’

'What? Oh, I love you so so much, even though I am still in Team Iron Man.’ You wink at him.

'Yes, thats your flaw. I love you too. Wait, I have your present in my suitcase.’

'Oh, and you are a dork. But you are my favourite dork Seb.’

Opinions are accepted!

I live in New Jersey and she lives in Connecticut. After spending every night facetiming, we finally got to be together this last weekend. It was the best time of my life and I’m so happy to say I love her even more than I thought was possible. I can’t wait till we get to be together again, because I don’t know how long I can take not being with her.

“ Happy 4th of July! Growing up as as kids in the United States we are often told stories of the “American dream” and how with great work and dedication you will be able to achieve your goals and live a happy and fulfilling life. I would like to say thank you to every one of you around the world for helping me to make my dreams come true and allowing me to sing for you and share my thoughts and aspirations with you. I love my country so very much and I love the people who have helped me get to this point in my life. Have a great night everyone, I believe in you and I believe in your dreams. Now it’s time for me to get back to vocal tracking for #bvb4 💀 photo by: @sedition1216” - @AndyBVB

I don’t think there’s a better way to say goodbye.

Look, I have set my eyes on you since I saw you. Those eyes of yours were exquisite, your lips… irresistible. I could live a hundred years with just one touch of your fingers. Your smiles could light up my dark moments. Your voice, warm as the summer breeze, enveloped my cold evenings as you said “Good night”.  The first time I held your hands, I felt heaven on earth. When you said that you love me, it felt like I could die in an instant. That’s how impacting your existence was to me.


But love, there’s no such thing as a “Happy ever after”. We live in the reality where everything could end in an instant and I apologize if I had to do this early. I just don’t want you to live with the pain of losing me after three years of us fighting. I had to end this not because I’ve given up but because I don’t want you to suffer anymore. I’ll take the pain, I’ll take the blame… all because I don’t want you to bear the pain until the end of your days.


I’m dying, Makoto. I only have three days to live. I didn’t tell you because it would kill you inside. This sickness has taken over my whole system and I have no choice but to accept defeat. I raised my white flag because you have been mortally wounded and I don’t want you to take your life after hearing this. I love you so much I don’t want you to live the next years taking the blame because you haven’t done enough. I did my best to fight this sickness and you were with me day and night. You were protecting me like I was an important gem and I appreciate it. But I know when to give it all and when to stop… and it’s the best time to throw the war away and accept defeat.


I love you so much, Makoto. Only if I can stay longer, I would appreciate every single trait that you have. I’ll miss you. There are no words that can convey how much I love you. Not even this letter, not even words. Please stay the same sweet man I loved and continue changing lives like how you changed mine. Eight years of being with you is such a miracle. I’ll tell God how beautiful your soul is. I’ll battle the demons who will ridicule you once I reach Hell.


Till then, I’ll watch over you wherever I may go.        


I love you.

I love you.

I love you so much, Makoto Tachibana-Yamazaki.



Makoto folded the letter that he received as he touched his deceased husband’s tombstone. A smile formed on his lips as he wiped the tears cascading down his cheeks. The cold, summer breeze blew and he felt like it was Sousuke who embraced his cold, shivering body. He placed the letter in his back pocket and continued staring at the ivory stone standing up in front of him.

“It has been three years, my love.” He whispered. “You still haven’t changed. You’re still the sweetest tsundere I have ever known and I’m proud to tell that I have loved you for eleven years now. I will continue loving you until the end of my days. I’ll tell God how valiant your fight in this earth was and I will break heaven and hell if I hear remorseful words toward you.”

He then switched his direction and walked away from Sousuke’s grave.

“I’ll see you soon, Sousuke Yamazaki.” The green-haired man muttered. “I love you too.”

anonymous asked:

. I feel like nobody loves me, like nobody will ever love me. all I do is sit on my bed listening to sad music. I'm just so lonely. I really need someone to be here for me. my friends say they're here but it doesn't feel like it. I've cut so many times but it's never enough. I just want to feel something. anything. I don't know what to do anymore. everything is crashing down on me. all my friends are in relationships and happy, and I'm just the loner taking late night walks alone...

I hate how people can feel like this. I hate how others are living my past and it fucking sucks. It sucks how others have to know how this feels. It sucks how people don’t know how or if they’ll get through it. And it sucks how no one else understands this moment.

I know, I really do, how this feels. In fact I still do feel that way. Only this time, there’s a chance for you to understand. I know you know that some people love you. No matter how hard to find it is I know somewhere you can’t deny that people care about you. 

It’s hard for you but for you’re friends it’s unimaginable. It’s like telling someone how to ride a bike. For you it’s almost a natural instinct. You can’t unlearn it. But to them it’s like an alien machine. They don’t know how fast to move their feet or what the wires do. The metaphoric meaning behind this is that they probably don’t know what to do or how to help. If they know anything they’ll probably be running everything they say through their heads several times before they even murmur. Make sure they know when you need them. If they know, they’ll care. They might be useless and awkward and you might think it would’ve been better if you’d left it but it wouldn’t have been. They don’t know anything about it. That’s a good thing though.

Just at some moments, forget the future. The future is unpredictable, addictive and as cloudy or fake as your thoughts about it. You can dream about it but never go guessing it.

Sorry I suck at this, I’m not good with talking but I just felt like I had to say something. Sorry.