i love him so much guys

Let me talk about Clark Gregg for a second.

So. Based on his FB and twitter and interviews, you would think he is the kind of guy who is super nice and sweet and fantastic. 


(This is a rambling story, because I’m really really really tired. Also, terrible phone pictures.)

So I went through his line today at ECCC. Picked out my picture to get signed. Chatted for a second with his agent dude, (who was also SUPER NICE and remembered me from Chloe Bennet’s line the day before.) He immediately teased me about not having my baby yet. I scooted over to Clark, and told him how much I’m loving SHIELD. He was very grateful and appreciative, and shook my hand after signing my picture. 

Then asked how I was feeling, indicating the baby bump. I told him how tired and excited I as, and mentioned how the day before, Chloe practically knocked her table over in her excitement to rub my belly. Then he asked when I was due. When I told him Wednesday, his mouth fell open. He immediately told me I looked great, and asked if I knew what I was having, and if we had a name. I told him a girl, and her name is going to be Annika. He grinned, told me that he has a daughter, and that she is the greatest thing ever. Then he looked at his agent, nodded, GRABBED ANOTHER PHOTO, and did this:

He handed it over with a smile, and I did the only thing I could think of, which was work really hard to not cry. He leaned over the table, rubbed my belly, and wished me good luck. 

Then,to top it off, as I exited the line, I was handed a small bundle. Inside was a t-shirt.

I just can’t with this man. 


3 years of Zig, the shiny zigzagoon

Scandal Review, Episode 417, Put A Ring On It...

Guys, I loved this episode so much, even though it messed with all of my OTP fangirl feels.  

It was so good, and once again, we had a great episode that was made even greater by the absence of The Human Vibrator.  Next week seems to be all about him though, but we’ll tackle that later in predictions.

Anyway, let’s do this.

What I Hated

Cyrus’s wig.

Seriously guys, you couldn’t find a wig that at least looked like it belonged on his head?

What I Liked and Loved

1.  Olivia dreaming of her kidnapping interspersed with images of Fitz.

Ugh. Baby Girl is going through so much right now.

Did you all notice that her dreams had  a pattern to them? First we saw images of her kidnapping, specifically of her running towards the red door, running towards a perceived safety, then we saw when she first met Fitz, then back to the kidnapping and running, then back to her and Fitz in the Oval, then she dreamt of her throwing the ring at him, then she was running towards the red door, then other images of other key Olitz moments, including when Fitz ran out the clock for her, then lots of her running towards the red door, then throwing the ring at him.

I decided to slow-mo Liv’s  dream to see what order the images were coming in. Here’s what I got:

1.  When she first met Fitz (The Trail)
2.   Running towards the red door
3.   Her and Fitz making love in the Oval (Happy Birthday Mr President)
4.   Liv throwing the ring at Fitz
5.   Running towards the red door
6.   Fitz crying in her arms after his dad’s funeral (Episode 211)
7.   Ring throwing
8.   Running towards the door
9.   Fitz running out the clock with her (episode 220)
10. Running towards the red door
11. Them making love in the Oval
12.  Running towards the red door
13.  Throwing the ring
14.   Running towards the red door
15.   Throwing the ring
16.  Fitz crying in her arms after his dad died
17.  Fitz running out the clock with her
18.  Running towards the red door
19.  Throwing the ring
20.  Running towards the red door
21.  Throwing the ring
22.  Running towards the red door
23.  Throwing the ring
24.  Running towards the red door
25.  Throwing the ring
26.  Red door
27.  Throwing the ring
28.  Red door
29. Ring
30.  Red door

Now isn’t that interesting?  I found it fascinating that as the dream went on, the images that recurred the most were those of her trying to run to safety and her throwing the ring at Fitz. It was almost like she was equating the fact that she couldn’t reach the door, with her throwing the ring at him. I wish I could hear from the writers themselves about what the dream really symbolized.

2.   Olivia calling everybody but Jake to help with the Cyrus situation.

Yes, I’m petty, but that shit made me happy as fuck.

3.  Cyrus:  "I want that whore out of my house"

Cyrus about to give himself another heart attack.

4.   “Gentleman Johns

Great name for a gay bar.

5.   Cyrus:  ”It sounds like a shotgun wedding”
Liv:        ”It is, and you’re the pregnant bride”


6.   Cyrus:   “There hasn’t been a good time”
Liv:        ”Of course not, it’s impossible to find time to do something that you don’t wanna do, funny how that works.”

There’s something quite delicious about this happening to Cyrus.  The person who never hesitates to make people do shit that they don’t want to do. I’m really happy that Liv called him out on his crap.  If anybody knows what it’s like to do something they don’t want to do, it’s Olivia Pope. Her entire relationship in one way or the other has been about doing the opposite of what she wants to do, in order to keep Fitz in the White House.

7.   Liv:  ”We need the White House. There is no bigger stage, there is no bigger moment.”

I’m still puzzled as to why it wouldn’t have been a better option to simply call the wedding off, but I guess having a big splashy gay wedding at the White House would definitely change the conversation.

8.   Cyrus:  ”We have bills to pass, we need the Teapartiers to pass them.  He has yet to publicly express his views on same sex marriage and he can’t rock the boat with Mellie’s senate campaign on the horizon. I can’t pile on and bother the president with my hooker problems.”

So Liv has to come up with a plan that doesn’t put Fitz in jeopardy, politically.

9.   Mellie: "A White House wedding? A gay Republican White House wedding?"

Olivia: “Hosted by the First Lady, and more importantly, the Republican candidate for senator of Virginia. Posting an historic White House wedding would be the perfect platform for a candidate who’s looking to transition from a social figurehead to someone who’s engaging at the forefront one of our most divisive issues of our time.  A leader, taking a bold step towards the right side of history. Breaking with her husband’s beliefs. Decisively. Unapologetically. Publicly. Never once considering asking the president’s permission, because this is something you feel.  In your heart. In your gut. Politics should never stand in the way of fundamental rights for an oppressed population of law-abiding Americans. That yours is the party of Lincoln, that love, is love. To be celebrated, never relegated or regulated.”

Man, Olivia played Mellie like a fiddle. She knows her so well. And she knows that Mellie’s ambition leaves little room for any kind of questioning or clarity of thought, when it comes to pushing up her presidential aspirations.
Bravo Liv!  This was such a great way of getting what she wanted without compromising Fitz.  She also didn’t do Mellie’s future potential run any harm. 

Did y’all peep that self-satisfied smile on Olivia’s face when Mellie was doing exactly what she asked her to do?

10.   Janet:  ”I am Cyrus Beene and I would make a great controller

Oh man, I loved the flashbacks to Cyrus and his wife. She seemed like she was such a good person. Somebody who really loved him.

11.   Cyrus:  ”You know what, why don’t we get married?”

The fact that Cyrus didn’t have a ring prepared, and took his own ring off to propose to Janet tells you how spontaneous the whole marriage idea was. Especially as they’d only been dating a few months. Marry in haste repent at leisure Cyrus Beene.

12.  Janet:  ”You better not be joking. I am Catholic, I have been saving myself and I can’t just get divorced..”

Ooops. Talk about doomed from the start.

13.  Fitz:  ”I hear we’re running a quickie wedding service out of the White House now.”

All the lols.

14.  Fitz: “Who’s idea was this?”
Abby: “The First Lady just announced it.”
Fitz:    ”Mellie did not think of this.”

Fitz knows that his wife ain’t shit.

15.  Abby:  "The president’s views remain unchanged."

Even though publicly nobody really knows what his views are either way.  It was such a smart move by Olivia to use Mellie to get this done.

16.  Mellie:  ”I am doing this for you.”
Cyrus:   “Are you? Are you Ma’am? How generous, how selfless. I cannot tell the difference between you and Mother Teresa.”

So much shade at Mellie from Cyrus here. We all know that Mellie isn’t doing this for anybody but Mellie.

17.  Michael: "Is there any way we can do this without my parents, Cyrus, please?"

The panic on his face though.

18.  Ronnie:  ”Are we still in for racquetball next week?

So that’s what the kids are calling it these days? How does Cyrus manage to get all these pretty good looking dudes by the way?

19.  Sally Langston:  ”The spray-tanned former gigolo.

Yesssss, Sally’s back! Man I’ve missed that hypocritical bible-thumping bitch like she was my best friend!

20.  Lizzie:  ”Casting your lot with Olivia Pope, backing this terrible idea without checking with me, your campaign manager. What in the hell was that?”

21.  Mellie:  ”We are not partners. We are not friends. You work for me. You fix for me. You don’t accuse me. You do not judge me. You most certainly do not lecture me. You are not me. You wish you were me, but you can’t be me. Remind yourself of that. Do you understand?”

Well that told Lizzie. Although, that speech seemed like something she’d have loved to say to Olivia Pope, but chose to say to a less powerful target.

22.  Liz scurrying away like the rat she is after Mellie gives her a tongue lashing.

Girl where’s your backbone?

23.  Abby:  ”You played me.”

Even though Leo and Abby have way better chemistry than her and David, this is why I can’t get on board with them. Leo is a snake and a sleaze, and didn’t even a bat an eye-lid at Abby catching him betraying confidential conversations.  I know that she’d do the same, but once again, what’s healthy about mutual betrayals?

24.  Leo:   “You poked the hole in the condom, not me. I kept it wrapped up.”.

So many lols.

25.  Cyrus:  “You need to stay on your side of my house.

Ugh. Cyrus stays being a hypocritical ass.

26.  Janet:  ”I definitely never knew it could be different….I am lonely here Cy, with you. It has been 16 years and I barely know you.  Being with you is a lonely experience.”

Poor Janet.

27.  Janet:  ”How about I will admit I’m not having an affair, if you will admit that you are gay?”


28.  James: "Cyrus, are you ok? Because if this is happening too fast, tell me."

I love the fact that Cyrus literally walked out of the closet from the flashback about the end of his first marriage, into his bedroom with James on his bed.
If that was intentional, then bravo to the writers and Regina King for that great piece of direction.

29.  Olivia:  ”No one is calling anything off. No one is quitting. Not until I’ve tried everything. Everything. Is that clear?

Lol at Mellie shutting the fuck up, then resentfully mimicking Olivia’s “Ok then.” Man she’s so salty that she can’t be Olivia.

30.  Olivia’s hair and dress in Cyrus’s flashback to his and James’ wedding.

I love how much softer she looked back in the day. I wish she’d wear dresses more often…

31.  James: "I want to be Cyrus Beene’s husband, and I wanna be a journalist, but I don’t want to be ‘Cyrus Beene’s husband, the journalist…"
Cyrus:  ”I’m never gonna ask you to do that, compromise your principles, or to influence your work. I love you too much for that.”

Man, when I think of how badly Cyrus fucked up James just before Jake murdered him. 

32.  Olivia’s second dream sequence scene;

1.  Flashback to her and Fitz making love in the Oval.
2.  Throwing the ring at Fitz.
3.  The red door
4. Throwing the ring at Fitz.
5. the red door.
6. Fitz crying in her arms after his dad’s funeral.
7. The red door.
8.  Throwing the ring.
9.  The red door
10.The image of the clock that Fitz was running out with her.
11. The red door
12. Throwing the ring
13. Running towards the red door
14. Throwing the ring
15. The red door
16. Throwing the ring
17.  The red door
18.  Throwing the ring
19. The red door
20. Throwing the ring
21.  The red door.
22.  Throwing the ring.

Once again, Olivia seems to be equating the red door that she can’t reach to safety with throwing the ring at Fitz. Maybe the loss of that ring means that she can’t reach safety without it?

33.  Fitz:  ”Don’t you love Vermont?

Fitz wearing the Navy sweater that Olivia clutched while crying over him in the presidential closet, when he was shot was kind of everything. Shonda knows that Olitzers pay attention to those kinds of details.

34.  Fitz:  “It’s a ring.  Very old. Rare. One of a kind. It even has a name. Doux Bebe. It was my great-grandmother’s. Her father bought it for her at auction in Paris. She wore it at her Debutante ball. And I was supposed to give it to my wife and I didn’t. It just never felt right, so I kept it. And now I know why, because I was supposed to give it to you.” 

So many feels. So damned many.

35.  Fitz:  “You don’t have to love me. You don’t have to come back to me. But if you could wear this…if I could know that you were wearing this. Then even if you hate me, I’ll know we’ll be okay. I’ll know you’re out there.” 

I loved that Fitz said this. It wasn’t him being manipulative or possessive, or him trying to “rob her of her agency”, a charge that regularly gets aimed at him by Haters.  He just wanted a connection to her. One that told him that they were ok, regardless of what she was doing, or even who she was doing.

Dear God, my feels over this entire scene was off the charts. Yes I ugly cried, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Olivia was so torn.  We know why she left the White House, she’d left for his sake as well as for herself. She was protecting him like she always does. Protecting him from her treacherous mistake, trying to make sure that their association didn’t tarnish his reputation and his presidency. Trying to make sure that she didn’t ruin him.

I genuinely don’t see how anybody could watch that scene and not feel moved. Olakers don’t count because they generally tend to hate Fitz more than they love Jake.  For them, Jake not being Fitz is all they really give a shit about, because otherwise, they wouldn’t give two fifths of a fuck about him.

It’s funny, but I was terrified that they were going to have sex, and the relief I felt when it ended with Olivia just hugging him was immense.  We know how hot these two are together, but that scene would have been ruined if they’d got all hot and heavy. It just wouldn’t have been appropriate, and would have ruined a really beautiful moment between them. This was Olitz at their best to me.

36.  Olivia:   “I could never hate you

All the tears. Dammit. Olitz for life, people.

Honestly, I just don’t see how Shonda isn’t going to have these two people end up together. I don’t see how the writers are going to have her choose The Human Vibrator over Fitz. Not after this episode. I think the choice to not have Jake in the episode was a very deliberate one.  They’re telling us that no matter what happens with Fitz, Jake is not the one, and he never will be. He’s not the one who keeps her awake at night. He’s not the one that makes her heart ache. He’s not the one that she wants to protect to her detriment.  He’s not even worthy of getting mad at.  He’s simply not the one that she truly wants. Some people might want to deny that she loves Fitz, but that’s their business. I think what’s on the screen is pretty clear.  Their back and forth is annoying, but the fact is, Fitz is who she wants, not the spy who choked her.

37.  Fitz:  ”I just want you to be happy.

I’m so back on board the Olitz ship. No half measures.

38.  Fitz seeing Liv’s ring-less finger.

I loved that he didn’t even mention it. You could see that it hurt him, but he just carried on and I loved that.  Back when the writers were trying to make him out to be the devil, they would have had him petulantly mention the fact that she wasn’t wearing the ring. This way, haters can’t say that he pressured Olivia. If and when she decides to put the ring back on, it will be entirely her choice, and I’m such a huge fan of that.

Also, I love that he didn’t even hesitate to sign off on offering Sally Langston the position of Secretary of State. The woman who’d double crossed him and tried to oust him from the White House. The woman who even now was trying to bring him and his administration down.  All he knew was that Olivia wanted it done, and that was that. Gah, I loved that he just calmly gave her what she wanted. But then I guess when you’ve taken the country to war to save this very woman, offering an arch enemy a job is a piece of cake, huh?

39.  Fitz:  ”You went around my back to Mellie.”
Liv:    ”I did.”
Fitz:   “Nice move.”

Ugh. Fitz had so much pride in her. I loved that he understood that she’d been trying to avoid compromising him politically, by fracturing his already tenuous relationship with the Teapartiers and members of his own party even more.

40.   Olivia:  ”But to be clear, you’ll be throwing Michael to the wolves to save yourself.”

Olivia seemed surprised that Cyrus Beene would make such a choice. Has she not met him before?  The guy nearly had his husband killed, and was ready to nuke her black ass, when she was kidnapped. Cyrus ain’t loyal to anybody but Fitz.  

41.  ”You think we approve of this? Of you? Of what you are? You think we spent all those money sending you to camp to fix you, only to have you to end up like this?  You make me sick to my stomach. Both of you.”

Well Michael’s parents sure won’t win any Great Parenting awards any time soon.  The way that they spoke to him though.  I felt so much for Michael in this scene.  It totally reminded me of how Liv used to be with her dad. Head down, shoulders down, eyes down. Submissive and child-like.  You could see that he wanted to just curl up and cry his heart out.  My heart kinda broke for him.  Nobody deserves parents like his.  You could see that Cyrus even felt the same way, despite their differences.

42.  Cyrus taking the tie despite James asking him not to, and manipulating him into helping fix a political situation for him.

Man, he didn’t even wait until after the honeymoon to break his promise.  Cyrus Beene, you’re the worst.

43.  Olivia wearing white!

Yessss, I never thought I’d miss that overdone color so much!

44.  Olivia:  ”We’re not throwing Michael under the bus.

Oh thank God.

45.  Olivia;   “If you go ahead with this, trying to take down Cyrus, I’ll tell the world about another sham marriage, the one between you and Daniel Douglas.”
Sally:   “You would defame a dead man.”
Olivia:  ”Only because you’re defaming a live one.”

I don’t know why Sally Langston even thought for a moment that Liv wouldn’t attempt to blackmail her using what she knows about her and Daniel Douglas’ marriage.  I loved this scene so much. I love Liv being badass, and fixing shit, and I love Sally’s bible-thumping shady ass.

46.  Michael:  I’m one of those people who’s been picturing my wedding since I was a teenager. I believed. Even in my stupid hometown with my stupid parents and idiot guys who threw rocks at me every day, I believed. Even when I was working as a pro, my worst nights on the streets, I still believed. I believed that someone was gonna love me, care about me, that I wouldn’t be alone, and it is my wedding day, and you hate me. You would murder me with your bare hands if you thought you could get away with it and I have no one who would even miss me. I have nothing. It is the day I’ve been dreaming of and I have nothing.
Cyrus: You’re wrong, you know. I would never murder you myself. That’s a rookie move. I’d pay a professional to do it. 

Man this scene made me cry so hard.  I was so happy that Cyrus found his humanity for a minute. I really hope that they make it, even if Cyrus is an asshole.  After all, they had a genuine attraction even back when Michael was trying to play him.

47.  Cyrus:  “You’re wondering what this is going to look like, our life. And I could lie to you right now. That’s how both of my other marriages began, with lies, so I could lie to you right now. I could tell you there’s a chance we will warm to one another, maybe fall in love and live happily ever after. I could lie, but I won’t. We’re not going to fall in love, and that is a relief to me because I cannot disappoint you. I cannot hurt you anymore than I already have. I cannot destroy your image of me or break your heart or damage your soul. You don’t believe in me, so I have nothing in you to break. I am on no pedestals. You see me for what I am. A filthy monster desperately trying to hold on to the last shreds of its humanity. You are a good person. I know that. Ella could use a good personin her life. I’m not promising much, but I will promise this. I may not do it well, but I will do my best to be your someone so you’re not alone. Okay? You’re not alone.

This is literally the most honest that Cyrus has ever been, and I’m here for it. 

48.  Fitz seeing the ring back on Liv’s finger.

I love Olitz at their best. When the writers just let them do what they do best. Be in love, show their love in all the ways that count.  Can you imagine how great they could have been had the writers not done their level best to destroy them?

Random Rambling

Man, that was such a great episode, made even greater because Jake Ballard wasn’t there. It really felt like vintage Scandal.  The writing was good, the case of the week was excellent because it involved somebody that we cared about, or at least knew, and was invested in.

I’ve said it before, but I really think that Shonda meant to tell this story at some point.  We all knew there was a story, but Shonda was never going to tell it until she was ready.  Apparently folks have been going in on her for lying, but what’s the point?  She finally gave us what we wanted, even if it was a ratings ploy, I literally couldn’t give two shits. I’m just happy that we got a poignant and beautiful Olitz flashback moment, and that Olivia put the ring back on herself. At least the Fitz Haters have no way of spinning that Fitz made her do it. She did it of her own volition and it was a beautiful thing.  Suck it haters.

I’ve seen Olitzers bemoan the fact that next week she apparently sleeps with Russell even though she’s got the ring on, and honestly people questioning that, like she hadn’t already been sleeping with her very own portable vibrator, whilst wearing said ring, made me scratch my head.  Where have you people been?  She wore it the entire time she went away to Zanzibar with Jake.  We clearly saw the ring while Jake was fingering her on the beach.   Liv having sex with another guy while wearing the ring, means nothing. Fitz knows that it’s not a promise to be faithful, and he’s been mostly fine with it, and even if he isn’t, as long as he’s still attached to his particular ball and chain, he knows he has no right to expect celibacy or fidelity from her.  Olivia sleeping with Russell while wearing the ring doesn’t negate the importance of the ring, or the significance of her putting it back on. So yeah, pipe down whingers.


Having seen the promo, it seems clear that the show wants us to think that Jake is turning into a maniac.  As much as I’d like to believe that they’re finally ready to show us how crazy he  is, don’t know if I trust it completely. ABC promos lie. They lie blatantly.  I don’t see how anybody can spin “I’ll kill Liv” into anything positive, but I’m damned sure the powers that be will give it a go.   I’m more inclined to believe that Russell will turn out to be yet another person who was sent in to sleep with Olivia, and that will make me so damned mad.

If the episode doesn’t turn out to be quite so anti-Jake, then what does it mean that ABC have done a promo almost promising that Jake would be turning into a fully-fledged bad guy?  It means that they know that the Jake Ballard character aint shit, and that they’re aware that people are waiting for him to die.  I mean… that’s hardly a ringing endorsement is it?

By the way, if it does turn out that Jake is as crazy as we’ve always known that he was, I think it will have something to do with when he went to visit Rowan to ask for help with Olivia.  I’m thinking that Rowan said something to him, much in the same way that he did with Huck back in season 3, when he killed that guy who was threatening to expose what really went on with Operation Remington. Maybe he’s been given his orders by Rowan?

Either way, I’m bracing myself for way too much Jake on my screen. 

Watching Scott Foley make a hash out of his lines is not my favorite thing to do.

Anyway, seeing as the writers regained their senses this episode, here are some Jamie and Claire and Live and Fitz GIFs to end with.

Surfbort. Lol

anonymous asked:

He's my best friend, he's tall and fit and sooo handsome, but the best thing about him is that he supports feminism and tries to understand it, and he also tries not to be racist or offensive with anyone and sometimes he is but he does his best and tries to change that attitude and to me that's what matters and god i don't even know anymore i love him so much

there’s should be more guys like him


word count: 1.3k
a/n: kinda short and it kinda sucks and it has no smut but so much fluffff !!!!„„!!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧  lots of love, -Em

“Luke, pull the trigger now.” I said.

A bead of sweat trickled down from Luke’s hairline and along his cheek before reaching his jaw and dropping onto his bulletproof vest. His gun, shaking but still aimed, was pointed at an unconscious man. I did understand why Luke couldn’t kill him.

“Stop.” Luke whispered, staring at the body in front of him.

“Luke, this isn’t some innocent guy, okay? This is a criminal, he hasn’t done anything good in his lif-”

“You don’t know that.”

“Just pull the goddamn trigger Luke!”

“Shut up! Give me a fucking minute.” He said, breathing shaky as he tried to steady it out.

I sighed, knowing that this would take a huge toll on him emotionally. I was the one who usually did the killing, but this time, Luke had to do it. He tried to avoid being the one to do the killing, which was kind of ironic for an assassin. He didn’t originally want to go on missions, he was a more tech guy. But he eventually got pushed into the field once they realized how valuable he would be out on missions. He didn’t like it but the pay was better and he hated to disappoint people. Luke was actually a great shot, he could be top ranking if he wanted to.

He took a deep breath, letting his shoulders relax and pulled the trigger, looking away after it hit the target.

“He was defenseless, I shouldn’t have done that.” He said, walking back and dropping the unloaded gun.

“It had to be done.” I shrugged and he whipped around, staring at me with wide eyes and furrowed brows.

“No, it didn’t. That man had family somewhere, no matter how much damage he’s done. No one deserves to die.”

“I can’t understand how you get so emotionally attached to all these people, Luke. It’s your job to kill, not make up dramatic back stories and reasons as to why they shouldn’t have got a bullet through the head.” I yell.

“You have no heart, you know that? All you think about is your work and nothing else, you don’t pay attention to anything else!”

“Oh, please. We can talk about this later.” I brush past him. He grabs my wrists and pulls me back to face him.

“Nope, you know what? We are talking about this right now.” He said, “You only pay attention to work, you don’t care about yourself, or anyone else. You don’t even… You don’t even pay attention to me anymore.” He mumbled, his head down and hands folded in front of him. What? Of course I pay attention to him.

“What are you talking abou-”

“We haven’t had sex in two months.” Luke said, “You don’t talk to me, you don’t tell me how you feel, you don’t act like you love me anymore.”

“I do love you though.”

“But you don’t act like it.” He sighs, “Look, if you don’t want to face the facts then whatever. But, I just want you back, I miss my wife.” He finishes before looking up at you with watery blue eyes that made my heart feel like it was being cracked open with a sledgehammer.

Fuck, why did I make him feel like that. I’m just not really used to being married I guess. We’d only been married for four months now, we were ok in the beginning, it didn’t really set in until recently. I felt really bad because he was perfect, he was the perfect guy and he deserved a beautiful, loving wife that he could have tons of beautiful children with and a nice blue house with a big garden. But instead he got me, I’m not soft around the edges, I’m sharp and calloused. I have no maternal instincts and it’s obvious that I would suck at being a mom. Why was he even with me? What on earth did he find attractive? I’m everything he wouldn’t want.

“I-um-I don’t really know.” I said pathetically and his face twisted in confusion.

“That’s all you have to say? ‘I don’t really know’? That’s it?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

“Well, uh, yeah.” I stupidly finished, wow I’m a fucking idiot. Why can’t I be normal and say how I really feel, that would be a lot easier.

“Wow, ok. I’m gonna go and wait for my wife to come home. Feel free to come back when you feel more like yourself.” He said, his words cutting like glass as he turned and walked away.

Shit, shit, shit, shit. I was gonna lose him because I’m a stuck up fucking prick who can’t get her priorities sorted out.  


“Hey, uhm, Luke?” I ask, walking through the front door of our apartment tentatively.

Hearing nothing, I close the front door and lock up behind me before tossing my keys in the dish by the door.

“Luke?” I call, walking down the hall towards the bedroom. Cracking the door open slowly and pearing in, the form of a sleeping Luke, tangled up in the cotton sheets, laying before me. A smile fell onto my face and I walked over to the bed slowly, the mattress dipping as I move towards him.

“What do you want?” I hear him mumble from partially closed lips, his eyes still not opening.

“I… I came home.” I reply, turning onto my side and facing away from him, feeling an aching pain in the bottom my heart, knowing that he obviously didn’t want me near him.

“Is this really home to you? Do you even… care anymore?” He asked, re-adjusting his head on the pillow.

I didn’t respond.

“Then was it… I don’t know, something that maybe I did?” He said quietly, insecurity dripping into his voice. Fuck, I just really wanted to hug him right now.

“Never. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Than what?” He asked, finally turning towards me, a faint shine in his eyes from the lights behind the drawn curtains.

“I just don’t feel comfortable. I wasn’t made to be a wife or mother or lover. I’m just too rigid and structural. I’m stiff and the more I try to be soft and loving, the more I feel uncomfortable.” I say, keeping my voice flat and trying to explain it quickly to get it over with.

“Do you know the first time I felt really attracted to you?” Luke asks, slowly letting his hand hover over my waist before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. I sighed in relief but shook my head in response to his question.

“I put the wrong gun in the holster on my first week of the job and you yelled at me saying I was going to get myself killed. It’s weird and I don’t even understand it but I know that that was the moment when I thought, ‘Holy shit, she’s beautiful.’”

“You thought I was beautiful after basically calling you a dumb ass.”

“Well… yeah, actually.” He exhaled, causing warm air to spread over my neck and make me feel a little fluffy inside.

“That’s cute Luke, but that doesn’t solve my problem.” I reply, finding the hand wrapped around my waist and tracing the veins extending from his wrist.

“You don’t have a problem, I just need to know that you still have feelings for me, cause sometimes it just feels like you don’t.” He whispered, his flat hair meeting the back of my shoulder as he buries his nose between my shoulder blades.

I didn’t tell him I loved him often enough, that much I knew. He deserved so much love that he could burst with happiness.

“I love you.” I whisper back, turning to face him and leaving a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.

He smiled under my lips, his hand moving to hold the back of my neck to keep our lips locked. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled away and grinned lopsidedly down at me.

“Now, about us not having sex for a while…”

Fyi so you guys know where I stand I love zayn and I’m still going to make him part of my 1D blogging but I’m not really cool or comfortable with pap pics so if it seems like I’m ignoring zayn, I’m not, there’s just not really anything zayn related I feel like I can reblog right now, save for old stuff, ya know? Ok? Ok.


Matt covers Gotye (sort of)


As much as I love Jensen, If anybody deserves this award it’s Misha! Going against Jensen is making this round extremely close, and Misha is currently losing.

Click here to vote for Misha and help him win!

“But why?”

  • Cooking Fast And Fresh With West
  • Youtube videos in general
  • Constantly tweeting
  • Facebook cover photos
  • He’s an actual angel
  • He’s been on social media longer than Jensen
  • Gishwhes
  • Random Acts
  • His Face
  • His Body
  • Because he actually deserves this fucking award and uses his time on social media to actually talk to us and knows exactly what’s going on in the fandom. 

Seriously, you guys. GO VOTE!

anonymous asked:

If bts were superheros, what do you think would be their weakness? Like what would be their kryptonite/fear? Like would it be water, or certain elements or foods idk haha. :D

I literally exist for super hero AUs you guy have no idea. I love them so much. Under the cut is the powers that I think would fit them.

~Admin BojiOppa

Keep reading

oh god forget everything no one cares what lays has to say anyway LISTEN

one of my former students just emailed me to tell me he was accepted by Yale, Stanford and fucking Harvard for med school!!!!!!!!!! i obviously started sobbing but besides that, when you’re a teacher, you become close to your students that you care so much for them and to me in a lot of cases especially when they were university students like him, i would treat them like i would treat a friend or even a family member honestly. this guy was the best in my class obviously but we were nerd buddies and he used to appreciate my sense of humour too. and now he’s emailing me to say this and to thank me for idk what tbh!!!!!! like you see how precious this moment is to me??? god i love my job :”)))))))

Here’s my first contribution to the Barduil fandom (you’re all amazing I love you guys). I had a great time drawing it (especially Thranduil I have to admit but I’m in love with him so it doesn’t count)
elvenandman you asked me a month or two ago (perhaps much longer? I don’t remember) to tell you when I’d draw something so there you go :D
And of course huge thanks to breathingbarduil who made me discover this wonderful and depressing ship, I love you <3

anonymous asked:

We were here, standing onstage at the final Mockingjay Part 2 premiers, the camera's pointed at Josh, Liam and I. The interviewer was still babbling on about God knows what when I steal a glance at Josh, smiling nervously at him. He gives me a smile back, tapping his microphone, causing the area around us to fall silent. "Hey Jen, you love me, real or not real?" He asks me casually, a wide grin on his face. I giggle softly and roll my eyes, lifting the mic up to my mouth. "Real Joshy. Always."

Okay. New project. I made tons of blank clone armors and faces using the old Clone Wars concept arts as reference :)

And I started drawing my and my friend’s clone selves :) How would we look like if we were clones.

This one is trooper Forlorn (the-lone-wolffe-khaleesi in clone form). Our grumpy private who secretly has a big heart. Forly is the rookie of the team and we love him so much ^^

I’ll upload the other two in the coming up days.

anonymous asked:

Do you know why you are my favorite blog? Theres a million blogs that post Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, etc, but there only seems to be one REALLY good blog that posts Hugh Jackman things and that's your blog. It's a shame there isn't more Hugh Jackman blogs, but thank you for being the best one around :D

I really appreciate that Anon. I try to share the Hugh Jackman love as much as possible. I wish there was more love for him on here because he is amazing. Everyone says he is the greatest guy you will ever meet and I can confirm that for myself. He’s great <3 

Thank you for enjoying the blog. It really means a lot to me. So all the love <3 

anonymous asked:

Am I the only one whose crush isn't a cute silly boy, but a guy who is kinda cold, mysterious and doesn't 'do' romance and shit ? But still, I love him so much.

today was soooo GOOD i met transjackfrost irl for the very first time but it was so comfortable i felt like we’d gone to hs together or something it was so wonderful!!!! hijack reunion

we saw home and i liked it a lot but i would have had a way better time if some guy hadnt made a rude comment to us at the beginning bc im bitter as hell and i spent 2/3 of the movie fantasizing about yelling at him and beating him up lmao

but once i managed to focus i really enjoyed it.. BIG autism feels and of course tip was amaaazing i love her so much, i had a really great time

anonymous asked:

I've kissed this Pisces guy a couple of times now and he's told me he likes me and thinks I'm pretty (but we weren't exactly sober so I don't know how much he meant of that). I'm starting to fall for him but I don't know how he feels or what to do cause he lives 2 hours away and I don't think it would work out but damn he's so amazing.. I can't stop thinking about him. Love from a confused Scorpio

If it helps Scorpio/Pisces is a v compatible relationship