i love hermione okay

9

harry potter

anonymous asked:

Okay I absolutely LOVE the idea of Ron and Hermione's fathers being pen pals and sharing bits of their worlds back and forth,do you have any more head cannons about them?Cause I've decided that this is the best thing ever and the possibilities are endless!

THANK YOU I love it a lot too <3 When I wrote that letter from Daniel Granger to Arthur Weasley, I created a friendship for them in my head that went deeper than just “our kids are friends, please tell me how a lightbulb works.”

The two meet in Diagon Alley the summer of Sirius Black’s escape, and immediately hit it off. Daniel and his wife, Emily, had been planning to drop Hermione off and head home again, but after meeting Arthur, Daniel knew that he couldn’t pass up the friendship that would offer such a wealth of information about the world they send their tight-lipped daughter off into every year. He’s read all the books, of course, all Hermione’s coursebooks and a few others besides, but Arthur gives a human face (and such a friendly, loving, knowledgeable one) to the world. 

Daniel likes the Weasley kids, too, particularly Ron and Ginny. They’re funny and much more open than his own daughter - he wishes he could be as at ease with Hermione as Arthur is with them. He and Emily were older when Hermione was born, after a few years of trying, and they’re quiet and reserved and nothing like the bundle of intensity who has his eyes and his wife’s hair and nothing of their timidity. 

After those weeks that summer, they keep up a steady stream of letters. Sometimes they’re just back-and-forthing about their respective worlds, but other times their conversations are deeper - father-to-father type musings that help each of them understand their kids better. 

During Ron and Hermione’s sixth year, both fathers are left wondering when their children are finally going to admit their love for one another. 

When Hermione wipes her parents’ memories, Arthur’s first instinct is to recoil, to hate her for what she’s done to her parents. Molly, though, sighs and asks him if he’d really rather be in the middle of this war watching his children risk their lives daily, than live in ignorance somewhere far away from the fighting. He’s forced to admit that it’s possible she’d made the right choice to keep them safe. He knows it’s unfair to grieve someone still alive, but having someone to discuss the war with would make it so much easier when he’s terrified for his kids. 

When he overhears a Death Eater at work listing off houses he’s planning to “search,” that afternoon, Arthur leaves work immediately after hearing the name Granger. The snarl rings in his ears as he lets himself into the home of two dentists and a missing daughter using Alohamora as though Hermione hadn’t anticipated her childhood home to need any more protection than a deadbolt. He takes what he thinks Daniel and Emily will miss the most, arriving home at the Burrow before his usual hour, carrying a sack of photo albums and nearly in tears. 

On days when the ghoul in the attic is too loud to hear Potterwatch properly, and he imagines his youngest son dead in all sorts of horrific ways, too many unknown factors to even give the unmarked grave a location in his imagination, he vows that even if Hermione doesn’t make it through the war, his first stop at the conclusion of the darkest hour the wizarding world has seen will be Australia. 

Luckily, he never has to go. Beautiful, brilliant Hermione makes her triumphant return (and Ron’s alive thank fucking Merlin, Arthur’s never letting him out of his sight again) and Arthur knows that person going after Daniel will be the one person he wants to see more than anybody. 

Because Daniel is, first and foremost, a father. 

  • Harry Potter gang being placed in different houses (while of course still being the most lovely of friends) 
  • Like Harry can still be Gryffindor, but Hermione be in Ravenclaw, and Ron take his rightful place as the ULTIMATE HUFFLEPUFF. 
  • And dunno maybe Draco is dissuaded from his awful upbringing (and self serving drarry reasons) and joins the group as their Slytherin because he needs love and affection (and drarry) and to be shown he is cared for by peOPLE. 
  • Main motivation for all this is transparency of houses like the Hogwarts layout would be opened up to showcase the inner workings of all houses functioning/shenanigans? 
  • Everyone coming up with ridiculous call signs to summon each other after infiltrating their common rooms (with poor stealth skills of course)
  • Harry Ron and Draco up at night sneaking around trying to get into Ravenclaw so she can be a part of the (put title adventure here) but they can’t figure out the stupid riddle so Ron and Harry are just whisper-screaming gibberish/the names of candy at the eagle because hey that usually works at Hogwarts while Draco just punches the door repeatedly until Hermione whose already outside calls out the answer from behind them because she totally figured out the mystery five minuets ago but there’re bound to be more cause this school is trying to kill them
  • Ron and Harry aggressively (but playfully) being all competitive over Quidditch matches chanting at each other in full house attire
  • Ron purposefully teaching everyone the wrong knock for Hufflepuff’s room so they’re doused by vinegar. 
  • Draco literally hissing at being exposed to the overwhelming amount of yellow and brightness and overall pEPPY HUFFLEPUFF INTENSITY until Ron hands over some sunglasses that everyone in Hufflepuff just happens to have on standby saying “you get used to it after a few years,,,sometimes.”
  • Draco acting as a double agent acting to continue his mission in Half-Blood prince but is aided by Harry because “VOLEDEMORT IS IN MY HOME HARRY WHAT THE FUCK AM I SPOSE TO DO WITH THAT” so he helps a disguised Harry sneak into Slytherin to investigate and spy on which classmates Draco knows are interested in becoming Death Eaters to try and find a link, but Harry of course is all Gryffindor and keeps screwing with everything in the common room much to Draco’s dismay because first and foremost he’s “still a Slytherin bruh could you like not. C’mon I’m breaking a seven centuries “No Outsider Has Ever Been In Here” rule—be nice to the squid don’t taunt the squid the squid did nothing to you we live in a dungeon don’t make this any worse—OH MY MERLIN NO DON’T CHANGE THE LIGHTS FROM GREEN TO YELLOW HARRY IT’S LIKE A SUN (dissolves into hissing fit) we aRE tryING TO Be DiSCreT”
  • Draco being harassed by some of the Death Eater Slytherins and despite his housemate friends trying to defend him it’s still a lot to deal with especially exposed during sleep so Harry Hermione and Ron all work together to hide him in their house rooms on alternating nights (using magic okay just some magic) until someone discovers him in the Gryffindor common room and get like super Gryffindor vs. Slytherin antagonistic about him being there but before they can kick him out Harry’s ‘nah-uh’ and stands in front of Draco protectively explaining how he’s helping Hogwarts as a whole and honestly “why should we be so uptight about house entrances? Let’s not separate alliances by where we’re from we’re all fighting for the same reasons here” and the Gryffindor’s agree to let Draco stay with them due to the circumstances 
  • but after all that the house communities become more free flowing as the war approaches with people of differing houses being allowed into common rooms to discuss plans and precautions, more people being comfortable sitting at any table in the great hall, rivalries being more like friendly competition than angry battles about which house is the most important 
  • the first time the sorting hat calls out “SLYTHERPUFF” 
  • everyone genuinely applauding whoever wins the house cup 
  • all houses getting love
  • Mixed house slumber parties
  • all houses being friends
  • all houses
  • just
  • ALL HOUSES ARE OPEN
Beauty and the Beast review and rant

So I just got out of Beauty and the Beast. So here my opinion seeing as my family’s reaction is to say “you need to let other people have opinions to.” as they ignore me.

I liked:

The opening scene. In fact it’s one of my favorites. The costumes are divine and the choreography is excellent.

The fight scene. OMG I couldn’t breath during the fight scene, every time I thought I stopped laughing I started again.

That one guy smiling when Madame Garderobe dressed him up. Little things make me happy okay. Leave my nb child alone.

Madame Garderobe. All time fave. She and her husband are adorable and my fave ship in this movie. Audra McDonald should have been cast as Belle. Yes I’m salty but that’s for the next part.

Agatha/the Enchantress. I enjoyed how she kept appearing throughout the film.

Gaston. Gaston is at the bottom of my list of villains  (who I rank by song). But Luke Evans and the ensemble managed to make Gaston’s songs my favorite out of the movie.

Lefou. I will fight people for Lefou. He is my son now. The part in the ending where he gets to dance with another boy made my heart swell.

The jewelry they paired with the yellow dress was so pretty and I’ll take two ear cuffs please.

The Potts. I love how they showed the spell made Mr. Potts forget, but even then it was still farmilar

The spell. Yes 8/10 on the world building. The edits to the spell were👌👌👌

The cast. There are so many talented people and such diverse ages and skin colors and ugh I want that ensemble to show up at my funeral and sing me to eternal rest okay that ensemble needs an award.

Things that make me salty:

Emma Watson. This is gonna take a while. Look Emma I love you okay, you are a great Hermione but as Belle well you were missing a certain je ne sais quoi.

Namely stays. And to anyone who tries to tell me that stays or corsets are antifemist, all I can say is: Do you (expect women to) wear bras every day? Because what Emma Watson was doing was basically running around braless.

Honey every other woman on that set was wearing period accurate clothing right down to the underpinnings and the fact that you had a defined bust instead of a smooth front was very obvious. You stood out and not in a good way.

The yellow dress. *insert long line of expletives* GLITTER GLUE?! AND TEAR OFF SKIRT?? GO SIT IN A CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE!!!!

 *deep breath*

The yellow dress isn’t all bad. It moves beautifully and the color is gorgeous.

But.

I could see the zipper in almost every shot. The neckline didn’t lie right. What fabric did they use for the bodice? (Seriously this looks like the monstrosity The Play Moms tried to force me into back in 5th grade.) The glitter glue was as obvious as the lack of stays; (I don’t even give a shit about the panniers that almost every other woman was wearing; just are you kidding me with the stays.) Especially next to the gorgeous embroidery on pretty much ever other costume. The tiers are the completely wrong era and the the silhouette is ridiculously modern.

And then she rode off in her formal attire. And RIPPED THE SKIRT OFF!!!! I’m sorry but as someone who is personally handstitching an authentic 18th century outfit FUCK YOU DO YOU KNOW THAT’S MONTHS OF WORK??!!!! AND WORTH ABOUT AS MUCH AS BELLE’S ENTIRE HOUSE???!! Belle would have known that. Clothing was handmade and a lot more expensive so formal wear wouldn’t have been worn on a ride through the forest!

you have a movie where every one is gorgeously costumed in fairly accurate garb and then your heroine looks like you bought all her costumes at a Halloween Express. Emma Watsons singing. She’s not bad. But next to everyone one else she’s obviously an amateur  (also her technique made me want to scream. Your mouth needs to be rounded not flattened). Seriously I could have done better. In case you couldn’t tell I wouldn’t have cast Emma as Belle. Nope. Audra is my Belle it is mycanon. That Lumiere and Cogsworth weren’t a couple. Cursed!Mrs.Potts and Chip are gonna give me nightmares just saying. Why was everyone speaking with a British accent? They’re French? In France? Speaking French? Like they didn’t even have her be born in England and move to France nope evidently England conquered France when we weren’t looking and everyone in France now speaks with a British accent. In the end it was an enjoyable movie. I would watch it again. But I’m SO tempted to start doing historical costume out of spite.

So we’re watching Beauty and The Beast and the first thing my mom says about Emma Watson? “Uhg, that girl is ugly.”

EXCUSE me, mother! Emma Watson is NOT ugly! She is a beautiful motherfrickin bamf chick who will forever be Hermione Granger in my heart. I feel like my whole childhood has been insulted, I need a mother with a working brain please.

Today on: “Homeboy Did Not See That Coming”

so i read the cursed child

WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS

A full list of my thoughts while reading The Cursed Child: 

i’m ready, witches and bitches

  • “don’t stop and don’t be scared you’ll crash into it. best to do it at a run if you’re nervous” juST FUCK ME UP
  • ron doing a lame trick and everyone loving its lameness is something i didn’t know i needed
  • “mum! i can’t give a professor love!” obviously rose hasn’t read much fanfiction
  • ROSE GRANGER-WEASLEY
  • scorpius sings, and then realizes singing was a mistake….my precious smol bean, the smolest of beans
  • “the rumor is that he’s voldemort’s son, albus…it’s probably rubbish, I mean, look, you’ve got a nose” i don’t even know what to say i just
  • i’m on page 18 and albus and scorpius are gay
  • “Albus Potter, the Slytherin squib” alright I’m ready to fucking throw down and fight, you talk shit about me and you talk shit about my house but DOn”T TALK SHIT ABOUT MY SON
  • “just cast a spell, dad, and change me into what you want me to be, okay? it’ll work better for both of us” this book just started how am I already suffering this much
  • “I didn’t choose, you know that? I didn’t choose to be his son” be my son please
  • wait did I read something wrong or are harry and ginny on a no sugar diet
  • wtf boy you killed the dark lord and you think a little sugar is going to hurt you? eat that toffee, bitch
  • HERMIONE IS THE MINISTER OF MAGIC? YOU GO GIRL, OH YEAH, QUEEN OF MY HEART, BADDEST BITCH OF YOUR AGE, KNEW YOU COULD GIRL
  • “How many people have died for the Boy Who Lived? I’m asking you to save one of them.” …….well shit
  • lily is a pure angel and her fairy wings are the cutest, how did they do that on stage i must see this play
  • “The poor orphan who went on to save us all. So may I say– on behalf of wizarding kind– how grateful we are for your heroism. Should we bow now or will a curtsy do?” wow albus is a salty little shit, isn’t he? my parents would never let me
  • “well there are times I wish you weren’t my son” OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT WADDUP
  • his scar had not pained him for 19 years, all was well BITCH YOU THOUGHT
  • why is scorpius rambling about how rose smells like bread on the hogwarts express, this boy is so socially awkward
  • oh hi hello middle school rose and scorpius feels
  • albus hugs his friend. with fierceness. they hold for a beat. it’s page 51 and albus and scorpius are gay
  • “okay. hello. um. have we hugged before? do we hug?” they are so gay ?? like ?? so so gay
  • why are two fourteen year old gay boys trying to time travel to save someone they have never met just because one fourteen year old gay boy is angsty towards his father, what is this plot, i love it, but what is this plot
  • what the fuck. the trolley witch. what the fuck.
  • hello draco, nice seeing you again, still a little shit i see
  • “nothing scares me, apart from mum” same ron, same
  • how the fuck do they do this on stage
  • “I don’t care what you did or who you saved, you are a constant curse on my family, Harry Potter.” I mean he’s not wrong.
  • is it still casual incest if pollyjuice potion is involved
  • this is like a really interesting really well written fanfiction
  • wait where is teddy
  • of all the people they could bring back to life they chose cedric? no offense to cedric, but….really?
  • where is teddy
  • what the hap is fuckening
  • harry james potter scorpius is a smol bean child why can’t you see thatalbus is a bad influence on scorpius not the other way around SMH MY HEAD
  • he’s going to use the map to spy on albus?? he’s going to force albus into gryffindor?? he’s keeping him away from his boyfriend??  WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS HARRY BEING SUCH A BAD DAD
  • oh. oh. oh albus is actually in gryffindor. okay so harry is slightly less of a bad dad
  • but still a bad dad
  • it’s page 121 and albus and scorpius are gay
  • w h e r e   i s   t e d d y
  • “but you’re not this mean” “and that’s 20 points from gryffindor to assure albus potter that i am this mean” #teachinggoals
  • “I don’t want to hurt you, Draco” “How interesting, because I do want to hurt you” GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE THIS IS GOOD SHIT
  • “you two– you belong together” even characters in-book ship this okay
  • “We’re losers. True and total losers.” #same why is this book so relatable
  • oh how did i not realize that this entire scene takes place with scorpius and albus wrestling on the ground okay
  • maybe the real cursed child was the friends we made along the way
  • oh man i just hate it when i upset the dementors and interrupt voldemort day :///
  • FOR VOLDEMORT AND VALOR wtf
  • honestly though it makes sense Voldemort is team valor.
  • the scorpion king, the blood ball, oh potter, this is too much
  • f o r   v o l d e m o r t    a n d   v a l o r
  • “she made being brave very easy, your mother” aw draco
  • draco defied his father for love I cannot
  • EVEN IN THIS WORLD ASTORIA IS STILL DEAD WHAT DID SCORPIUS DO TO DESERVE THIS
  • and to think I thought I would get through this book without having to see snape, fucking hell
  • “Cedric Diggory killed only one wizard and not a significant one– Neville Longbottom”
  • IF NEVILLE HADN’T BEEN NEVILLE HARRY POTTER WOULD NOT HAVE WON, NEVILLE WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT, MOST SIGNIFICANT, if I accept one thing from Voldemort Day™ world, it is this canon recognition of Neville’s importance goodbye
  • “I’m a wanted man” “less wanted” SAVAGE
  • scorpius watches as hermione and ron have their souls sucked from them after finally realizing they are in love, okay, yes, i am fine
  • I still hate Snape
  • okay wait it just sunk in that cedric became a death eater and ?? no ?? I don’t like this or approve of it ? that just destroyed his character? cedric would never okay
  • okay if we’ve had the conflict and the resolution and we still have 100 pages…what comes next…
  • “What did I miss?” “It is considered polite to knock when entering a room, Hermione Granger, maybe you missed that.” I fucking love McGonagall okay, I havent’ said that enough in this liveblog
  • “bravery doesn’t forgive stupidity” A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE GRYFFINDORS IN THE BACK
  • okay well at least they acknowledged that Slytherin!Albus wasn’t the reason for all their problems
  • oh yeah voldemort i forgot about him
  • glad to see the moldy voldy nickname has caught on
  • seriously though why has no one mentioned teddy lupin this entire play does he not exist anymore
  • who the fuck is polly chapman
  • “It’s time that time-turning became a thing of the past” I love this boy with all of my heart
  • who the fuck is craig bowker jr
  • hello delphi, fancy seeing you again, i still don’t care about you
  • wait delphi is the book’s main villain ?? that feels anticlimactic
  • RON GOT SO DRUNK ON HIS WEDDING DAY THAT HE COULDN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT
  • ron and neville are drinking buddies
  • “Your niece” “I don’t have a niece” oh shit, the plot thickens m8, too bad i still don’t care about delphi
  • she’s torturing scorpius to get to albus i am both sad and also happy, i love this trope but i want to protect my sons
  • it’s page 229 and albus and scorpius are gay
  • craig bower jr is dead, and i am so broken and sad, he was my favorite character, i am so emotionally attached, after how much we’ve all gotten to know him, oh no, what a shame wow.
  • “but if the prophecy is inevitable why are we here trying to influence it?” fucking finally
  • how is she flying without a broom do they ever actually explain this
  • how do they do all of this on stage i am still wondering
  • WHAT THE FUCK DELPHI IS THE CURSED CHILD
  • IS THERE SERIOUSLY A “DAUGHTER OF VOLDEMORT” PLOT TWIST? THIS IS EVERY FANFICTION EVER WTF
  • I won’t accept this
  • what the hap is fuckening
  • “I didn’t know much about it so can’t take responsibility– and I’m pretty sure my kids had nothing to do with it– but if this lot are standing up here then so am I.” I love you Ronald Weasley, until the day I die
  • where is teddy lupin
  • why are they saying albus fancied delphi, they had no chemistry and this appeared nowhere else in the story
  • are we going to get to see lily and james potter because if we are all is forgiven
  • “wow. squeak. my geekiness is a-quivering” I love scorpius malfoy my smol bean son
  • a young, attractive couple leave a house with a baby in a pushchair
  • carve that onto my tombstone
  • “Go. Leave. I don’t want you here. I don’t need you. You were absent every time it really counted. I fought him three times without you. I’ll face him again, if needs be– alone.” FUCKING FINALLY
  • the boy finally admits dumbledore was a shitty father figure, my day has finally come
  • the boy finally calls dumbledore out on his bullshit for leaving him in an abusive home !! I have !! waited !! years for this !!
  • “it isn’t true that I never complained” we know, harry, we know. you could have been renamed “the boy who whines”
  • “What did you want to do?” “…Mainly I wanted to be happy.” be still my beating yet aching heart….draco…my son…my boy…my precious child…
  • the ministry’s time turners were too vanilla for lucius malfoy
  • “secretly I think he preferred a world without voldemort” thank you jk rowling this was all i really needed to hear
  • “It is exceptionally lonely, being draco malfoy” oh god, my sweet boy
  • “I would sell my soul for another minute with astoria” WHY IS THIS SCENE GIVING ME SUCH EXTREME FEELS
  • why do i feel like this is the beginning of a drarry hurt/comfort fic on ffn
  • draco and harry bonding over parenting is my aesthetic
  • “as pleasurable as it will be to hide in a hole for the next forty years…” their relationship is written in such a way that I’m still not sure if he’s being sarcastic or not
  • “if I had to choose a companion to be at the return of eternal darkness with, it’s you”
  • IT’S PAGE 265 AND ALBUS AND SCORPIUS ARE GAY
  • draco has a ponytail
  • but how are they going to get back to their own time again, time turners don’t allow for that i don’t
  • #savevoldemort81
  • ron is the most chilled out
  • I bet ron does weed i’m calling it now
  • so is delphi immune to the five minute rule on this time turner because it seems like this is a plothole
  • “I’m being bossed around by Hermione Granger…and I mildly enjoy it” dramione fans everywhere are shitting their pants I’m sure
  • FUCKING BELLATRIX
  • BELLATRIX FUCKED VOLDEMORT AND NO ONE IS SURPRISED FUCKING HELL
  • but when did they have the time
  • “Are you crawling away from me?” She seems surprised. Obviously she didn’t read the first seven books.
  • “I’ve never fought alone, and I never will” FUCK YEAH
  • is jkr really making harry witness his parents murder?? this is so fucked up
  • HAGRID !!!!!!!!! <3 <3 3 <3
  • scorpius asked out rose which on one hand brings back so many middle school scorpius/rose memories, but also angers me because for 300 pages albus and scorpius have been incredibly gay
  • what is this forced heterosexuality bullshit
  • “Your dad used to love to do this smoke ring thing with you” i’m so happy i’m so happy
  • aw harry is afraid of the dark
  • i accept claustrophobic harry as canon
  • but pigeons ?? really ??
  • who the fuck is craig
  • “not ALL slytherins” “your right, scorpius and albus would NEVER”
  • time to rewrite all my middle school next-gen fanfiction

in conclusion: somehow despite it all I still loved it

Let’s talk about Ron and Crookshanks okay
  • Ron and Hermione move into a small flat together
  • Obviously Crookshanks is there too
  • And at first Ron and Crookshanks are always out to get each other
  • (Ron hides his favourite scratching post whilst Crookshanks eats Ron’s favourite shirts)
  • But eventually they start to get on and when Hermione’s away Crookshanks often cuddles up on Ron’s lap and Ron actually gives him the leftovers from dinner
  • But this only happens when Hermione’s away at work
  • When she comes back they go back to hating each other
  • Eventually it gets to the point where they’re only pretending to hate each other in front of Hermione but secretly Ron’s become quite fond of the hairy beast and Crookshanks doesn’t mind the loud tall human either
  • But they still don’t let Hermione know because she will obviously say ‘I told you so’
  • But she comes home from work one day and finds Crookshanks and Ron asleep on the sofa and she knows
  • But she pretends she hasn’t so she can watch them fight and keep their pride
  • And this goes on for the rest of their lives
  • Until Crookshanks dies and Ron is crying almost as much as Hermione when they lay the cat to rest at the back of their small garden while a 4 year old Rose and 2 year old Hugo lay drawings on the makeshift grave
  • And that night Ron tells her how he never really hated him and how they became friends in the last 11 or so years of life
  • And Hermione just smiles and says ‘I know’
  • Draco: look Granger, I dlnt get all mushy, its against my whole character... but I gotta say something.
  • Hermione: what is it?
  • Draco: Okay here it is. Your choice. It’ s simple. Him or me. And I’m sure he’ s really great for you... I mean I dont see it... I mean whatever....
  • Hermione: I don't--
  • Draco: Just! Okay... Hermione.... I love you, in a really, really big – pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window – unfortunate way that makes me hate you... but love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.

anonymous asked:

Can u do headcanons on the gang trying to recreate Harry Potter? Like who would be what character and how it would turn out?

-Ponyboy would be Harry because he fucks everything up all the time but I still love him so it’s okay

-Darry would be Hermione

-Sodapop would be Ron

-Dally would be Draco 

-Johnny would be Neville (But only because of the scene below where he’s like “I’ll fight you.” He’s such a bean I love him)

Originally posted by holey-george

-Steve would be Snape because he’s an angry snake ( @emodadrodrick‘s words, not mine)

-Two-Bit would be either Fred or George

-Ponyboy would be really into it, and try to get the gang into it

-SPOILER ALERT: It doesn’t fucking work

-Dally thinks it’s stupid

-So does everyone else

-Except for Johnny

-That’s all I got

anonymous asked:

Harry, Ron, Hermione! /nhasablog

get into a tickle fight with: ron bc he’d destroy me within seconds bc he is Big and Strong and i would die but it’s worth it

get tickle-tortured by: hermione bc i’m fucking GAY okay i’ve been in love with hermione since day 1 my dude…i love her so much

have find out about your tickle kink: harry bc he’d probably be like “uh, bitch me too??” and we’d both be really shy about it but occasionally talk about it and give each other pokes to the sides and stuff and god i love harry so much

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

so as most people know Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus (Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon) is Hogwarts’s motto
Very witty. Very safe. Very Hogwarts-y
But i couldn’t help but notice that the word Draco is in it. And this has opened a tunnel of endless possibilities. Now humour me for a second and forget the actual meaning of the sentence. Actually just pretend no one actually knows what the sentence means. Especially not young draco malfoy. Especially not young desperate for attention draco malfoy who would go at great lengths just to prove he was better than harry potter.
NOW imagine little draco malfoy reading hogwarts motto. His small devillish grin when he realizes his name is on the text. Oh boy. OH BOY the endless bragging.

- “I heard potter saved that weasly girl from the sewers how cool i mean i just-“UM EXCUSE ME YES IT IS I DRACO MALFOY MY NAME IS ON THE SCHOOL MOTTO I AM CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN POTTER NOW MOVE ALONG PEASANTS STOP YOUR BABBLING”

- hey potter you know what draco stands for? …no not dragon you idiot It clearly stands for better than potter any day of the week haha fight me my name is on the uniform

- “dear dad. I made fun of potter today. You must have noticed by now that mY name is on the school motto. I know you said hogwarts was terrible but I actually like it here, anyways it gives me something to tease potter about. You should’ve seen his face..”

- CRABBE WHY IS HARRY POTTER ON THE TRIWIZAR TOURNAMENT AND NOT ME?? I MEAN I AM CLEARLY MORE POPULAR THAN POTTER HAVE YOU NOTICED MY NAME IS ON THE SCHOOL MOTTO I..WAIT CRABBE DONT LEAVE CRABBE THIS IS IMPORTANT COME BACK THIS INSTANT

- I think they should change the whole motto to just draco. I mean it would sound better

-goyle don’t you think the houses should be named accordingly to the school motto. It is after all the first thing the respectable wizard community thinks about when they hear about the school. I was thinking that maybe malfoytherin, dracoclaw, and huffledraco sound way better than the actual ones. I also took the liberty to delete one of the houses since it doesn’t seen necessary and attracts only excessively annoying people. What do you think?

- “Proffesor snape could you please move malfoy away from me? He’s singing a stupid muggle song and won’t let me concentrate

"LIES i would never sing muggle songs parkinson”

“But you WERE i just heard you-"IS YOUR NAME ON THE MOTTO? NO. MINE IS. SO SHUT UP”


- “parkinson? More like parking zone haha”

“How do you even know what a parking zone is-” “MERLIN PANSY NOBODY CARES GO BE ANNOYING SOMEWHERE ELSE GOD I SWEAR THIS SCHOOL WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I RAN IT I MEAN HONESTLY MY NAME IS ALREADY UP THERE IM PRACTICALLY THE HEIR”

-
“Draco”

“…”
“Draco”


“…”

“MR.MALFOY”

“Oh sorry proffesor I thought you were reciting the new improved school motto”

- stupid famous potter the little shit doesnt even have his name on the school motto and the girls all swoon for him dumb idiot with his dumb loyal poor friends. the h in hogwarts probably stands for hero as in draco the hero. not harry and certainly not harry potter the hero. He was a 1 year old when he killed you know who bloddy hell he couldn’t even talk, besides he obviously did it wrong because he came back. Stupid potter can’t even kill a dark wizard properly i swear i’ll-“BLOODY HELL MALFOY STOP MURMURING TO YOURSELF AND GOT TO SLEEP I WILL CRUCIO YOU”


- it’s not Potter Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus. Why are people so infatuated with him I just don’t understand. Students can’t even go by a minute without talking about the great hero harry potter their knight in shining armor the savior of the winzarding world Hogwarts’s famous celebrit-
“Son, i thought we agreed no Potter talk during dinner time”
“But-”
“That’s enough draco. You’ve been ranting ever since you got out of the train. Now eat you vegetables so you can open your Christmas presents”
“…”
“what?”
“I bet potter doesn’t even get Christmas presents”
“DRACO”