i love hermione okay

9

harry potter

  • Harry Potter gang being placed in different houses (while of course still being the most lovely of friends) 
  • Like Harry can still be Gryffindor, but Hermione be in Ravenclaw, and Ron take his rightful place as the ULTIMATE HUFFLEPUFF. 
  • And dunno maybe Draco is dissuaded from his awful upbringing (and self serving drarry reasons) and joins the group as their Slytherin because he needs love and affection (and drarry) and to be shown he is cared for by peOPLE. 
  • Main motivation for all this is transparency of houses like the Hogwarts layout would be opened up to showcase the inner workings of all houses functioning/shenanigans? 
  • Everyone coming up with ridiculous call signs to summon each other after infiltrating their common rooms (with poor stealth skills of course)
  • Harry Ron and Draco up at night sneaking around trying to get into Ravenclaw so she can be a part of the (put title adventure here) but they can’t figure out the stupid riddle so Ron and Harry are just whisper-screaming gibberish/the names of candy at the eagle because hey that usually works at Hogwarts while Draco just punches the door repeatedly until Hermione whose already outside calls out the answer from behind them because she totally figured out the mystery five minuets ago but there’re bound to be more cause this school is trying to kill them
  • Ron and Harry aggressively (but playfully) being all competitive over Quidditch matches chanting at each other in full house attire
  • Ron purposefully teaching everyone the wrong knock for Hufflepuff’s room so they’re doused by vinegar. 
  • Draco literally hissing at being exposed to the overwhelming amount of yellow and brightness and overall pEPPY HUFFLEPUFF INTENSITY until Ron hands over some sunglasses that everyone in Hufflepuff just happens to have on standby saying “you get used to it after a few years,,,sometimes.”
  • Draco acting as a double agent acting to continue his mission in Half-Blood prince but is aided by Harry because “VOLEDEMORT IS IN MY HOME HARRY WHAT THE FUCK AM I SPOSE TO DO WITH THAT” so he helps a disguised Harry sneak into Slytherin to investigate and spy on which classmates Draco knows are interested in becoming Death Eaters to try and find a link, but Harry of course is all Gryffindor and keeps screwing with everything in the common room much to Draco’s dismay because first and foremost he’s “still a Slytherin bruh could you like not. C’mon I’m breaking a seven centuries “No Outsider Has Ever Been In Here” rule—be nice to the squid don’t taunt the squid the squid did nothing to you we live in a dungeon don’t make this any worse—OH MY MERLIN NO DON’T CHANGE THE LIGHTS FROM GREEN TO YELLOW HARRY IT’S LIKE A SUN (dissolves into hissing fit) we aRE tryING TO Be DiSCreT”
  • Draco being harassed by some of the Death Eater Slytherins and despite his housemate friends trying to defend him it’s still a lot to deal with especially exposed during sleep so Harry Hermione and Ron all work together to hide him in their house rooms on alternating nights (using magic okay just some magic) until someone discovers him in the Gryffindor common room and get like super Gryffindor vs. Slytherin antagonistic about him being there but before they can kick him out Harry’s ‘nah-uh’ and stands in front of Draco protectively explaining how he’s helping Hogwarts as a whole and honestly “why should we be so uptight about house entrances? Let’s not separate alliances by where we’re from we’re all fighting for the same reasons here” and the Gryffindor’s agree to let Draco stay with them due to the circumstances 
  • but after all that the house communities become more free flowing as the war approaches with people of differing houses being allowed into common rooms to discuss plans and precautions, more people being comfortable sitting at any table in the great hall, rivalries being more like friendly competition than angry battles about which house is the most important 
  • the first time the sorting hat calls out “SLYTHERPUFF” 
  • everyone genuinely applauding whoever wins the house cup 
  • all houses getting love
  • Mixed house slumber parties
  • all houses being friends
  • all houses
  • just
  • ALL HOUSES ARE OPEN
  • Hermione: It's okay to be scared, Draco. I mean, the world is a scary, scary place. I don't want you to be scared of me.
  • Draco: How can I not be, Hermione? You're the one who's opening up this whole life for me and I'm just afraid that...
  • Hermione: What?
  • Draco: I'm afraid because you're the single most important being to ever grace my existence. I am falling hopelessly in love with you.
Let’s talk about Ron and Crookshanks okay
  • Ron and Hermione move into a small flat together
  • Obviously Crookshanks is there too
  • And at first Ron and Crookshanks are always out to get each other
  • (Ron hides his favourite scratching post whilst Crookshanks eats Ron’s favourite shirts)
  • But eventually they start to get on and when Hermione’s away Crookshanks often cuddles up on Ron’s lap and Ron actually gives him the leftovers from dinner
  • But this only happens when Hermione’s away at work
  • When she comes back they go back to hating each other
  • Eventually it gets to the point where they’re only pretending to hate each other in front of Hermione but secretly Ron’s become quite fond of the hairy beast and Crookshanks doesn’t mind the loud tall human either
  • But they still don’t let Hermione know because she will obviously say ‘I told you so’
  • But she comes home from work one day and finds Crookshanks and Ron asleep on the sofa and she knows
  • But she pretends she hasn’t so she can watch them fight and keep their pride
  • And this goes on for the rest of their lives
  • Until Crookshanks dies and Ron is crying almost as much as Hermione when they lay the cat to rest at the back of their small garden while a 4 year old Rose and 2 year old Hugo lay drawings on the makeshift grave
  • And that night Ron tells her how he never really hated him and how they became friends in the last 11 or so years of life
  • And Hermione just smiles and says ‘I know’
  • Draco: look Granger, I dlnt get all mushy, its against my whole character... but I gotta say something.
  • Hermione: what is it?
  • Draco: Okay here it is. Your choice. It’ s simple. Him or me. And I’m sure he’ s really great for you... I mean I dont see it... I mean whatever....
  • Hermione: I don't--
  • Draco: Just! Okay... Hermione.... I love you, in a really, really big – pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window – unfortunate way that makes me hate you... but love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

so as most people know Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus (Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon) is Hogwarts’s motto
Very witty. Very safe. Very Hogwarts-y
But i couldn’t help but notice that the word Draco is in it. And this has opened a tunnel of endless possibilities. Now humour me for a second and forget the actual meaning of the sentence. Actually just pretend no one actually knows what the sentence means. Especially not young draco malfoy. Especially not young desperate for attention draco malfoy who would go at great lengths just to prove he was better than harry potter.
NOW imagine little draco malfoy reading hogwarts motto. His small devillish grin when he realizes his name is on the text. Oh boy. OH BOY the endless bragging.

- “I heard potter saved that weasly girl from the sewers how cool i mean i just-“UM EXCUSE ME YES IT IS I DRACO MALFOY MY NAME IS ON THE SCHOOL MOTTO I AM CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN POTTER NOW MOVE ALONG PEASANTS STOP YOUR BABBLING”

- hey potter you know what draco stands for? …no not dragon you idiot It clearly stands for better than potter any day of the week haha fight me my name is on the uniform

- “dear dad. I made fun of potter today. You must have noticed by now that mY name is on the school motto. I know you said hogwarts was terrible but I actually like it here, anyways it gives me something to tease potter about. You should’ve seen his face..”

- CRABBE WHY IS HARRY POTTER ON THE TRIWIZAR TOURNAMENT AND NOT ME?? I MEAN I AM CLEARLY MORE POPULAR THAN POTTER HAVE YOU NOTICED MY NAME IS ON THE SCHOOL MOTTO I..WAIT CRABBE DONT LEAVE CRABBE THIS IS IMPORTANT COME BACK THIS INSTANT

- I think they should change the whole motto to just draco. I mean it would sound better

-goyle don’t you think the houses should be named accordingly to the school motto. It is after all the first thing the respectable wizard community thinks about when they hear about the school. I was thinking that maybe malfoytherin, dracoclaw, and huffledraco sound way better than the actual ones. I also took the liberty to delete one of the houses since it doesn’t seen necessary and attracts only excessively annoying people. What do you think?

- “Proffesor snape could you please move malfoy away from me? He’s singing a stupid muggle song and won’t let me concentrate

"LIES i would never sing muggle songs parkinson”

“But you WERE i just heard you-"IS YOUR NAME ON THE MOTTO? NO. MINE IS. SO SHUT UP”


- “parkinson? More like parking zone haha”

“How do you even know what a parking zone is-” “MERLIN PANSY NOBODY CARES GO BE ANNOYING SOMEWHERE ELSE GOD I SWEAR THIS SCHOOL WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I RAN IT I MEAN HONESTLY MY NAME IS ALREADY UP THERE IM PRACTICALLY THE HEIR”

-
“Draco”

“…”
“Draco”


“…”

“MR.MALFOY”

“Oh sorry proffesor I thought you were reciting the new improved school motto”

- stupid famous potter the little shit doesnt even have his name on the school motto and the girls all swoon for him dumb idiot with his dumb loyal poor friends. the h in hogwarts probably stands for hero as in draco the hero. not harry and certainly not harry potter the hero. He was a 1 year old when he killed you know who bloddy hell he couldn’t even talk, besides he obviously did it wrong because he came back. Stupid potter can’t even kill a dark wizard properly i swear i’ll-“BLOODY HELL MALFOY STOP MURMURING TO YOURSELF AND GOT TO SLEEP I WILL CRUCIO YOU”


- it’s not Potter Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus. Why are people so infatuated with him I just don’t understand. Students can’t even go by a minute without talking about the great hero harry potter their knight in shining armor the savior of the winzarding world Hogwarts’s famous celebrit-
“Son, i thought we agreed no Potter talk during dinner time”
“But-”
“That’s enough draco. You’ve been ranting ever since you got out of the train. Now eat you vegetables so you can open your Christmas presents”
“…”
“what?”
“I bet potter doesn’t even get Christmas presents”
“DRACO”

Valentine’s Day For Hermione

Haha, I fucked up and didn’t finish this in time. I’m only a little late.


Hermione walked down the hallway, weaving between people easily, looking over the department budget. She would need to find a way to make it stretch for a few more days, just until Friday when the unit got more money.

“Hello, Hermione.”

“Hello, Michael.” She greeted absently. Honestly, where were the fifty missing Galleons going? If there was an embezzler, she was going to make them wish they had never crossed her.

“Hey, Hermione, you want to go out?” She pretended she had no idea what that meant.

“Can’t right now.” Avoidance was the best option. “I need to figure out where the missing money is going to. Maybe I’m doing the Arithmancy wrong.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, you’re brilliant.” Hermione smiled softly as she heard him run the other way. She had someone at home anyway.

She loved them with all her heart, at least the part that was for romantic love and a good size of the friend love as well. He said that something special was planned for tonight. Well, she had news too.

.0.0.0.

“I’m home.” Hermione called when she opened the door. She smiled at the answering “Welcome back!” as she put down her keys and purse. She giggled when arms got her from behind, fingers tickling just enough to make her lean forward.

“It’s good to see you so happy on this day of love.” His smooth voice was like silk as it washed over her. She could, and had upon opportunity, listen to him talk for hours. “I just finished your surprise when you walked in.”

“Really?” A smile graces her lips as tilts her head back to see his face framed by dark curls. “Well, then I suppose my gift can wait until after.”

She laughs softly, feeling chagrined at forgetting what day it is. But he didn’t. He, the more flighty of the two of them, was the one that remembered the dates and her days off.

She hopes her news will make up for not getting him anything.

“Close your eyes for me, my little otter.” Hermione shivers as he whispers in her ear, following his request, letting him lead her to their tiny dining room. Just as she’s sure they’ve reached it, it’s only fifteen feet from the front door, he snatches her up in a twirl that makes her yelp. He sets her down in one of the rickety chairs and says, “Open your eyes.”

What she sees is his best attempt at cheeseburgers and salad. The wine is what makes her hide a snort behind her hand.

She’s not sure what’s making her so bubbly today, maybe because this is the day to tell him and she knows he’ll love it.

“I love you.” Hermione breathes, tilting her head back to get a kiss from him. His gray eyes sparkle when he sits down across from her.

“I’m pretty sure I love you more.” He laughs charmingly to go with it. She smiles unbelieving. How could he love her more when his littlest gestures make her heart swell?

They eat in a warm atmosphere, breaking momentarily with each of his jokes, until he brings out little, store bought chocolates. She gasps at them. They shape words that he’s asking.

“Will you marry me?” Hermione looks at the ring in his hand, silver with a topaz stone, holding it out to her. She gentle holds his hand in both of hers, looking into his eyes. All she can see is love and nervousness and fear of rejection.

He’s the most perfect man she’s ever dated. Always making sure she was taking care of herself when she gets wrapped up in a project. Putting up with how stubborn and pig headed she can be. All of her snappish moments, he keeps up and can even out do her. He makes her laugh when all she wants to do is cry. He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up or eat her honey candy. He somehow knows the right things to say after they fight, even if it’s her that apologized first. He encourages her independence even when all he wants is for her to lean on him.

He’s the man she loves.

“Of course I will.” Hermione states, taking the ring and sliding it onto her finger. It fits perfectly, just as she knew it would.

She doesn’t quite expect when he hauls her up and twirls around while yelling excitedly. She tugs his hair to make him put her down, holding off his kiss with a hand to his lips.

“One thing.” Hermione takes a few deep breathes, suddenly a little unsure. “I found out something this morning before work.”

“Whatever it is, I can deal with it.” A moment of consideration. “Or we can both deal with it. But I will kick some arse if some bloke came onto you. Or prank them since you probably already kicked their arse.”

“No, nothing like that.” Michael would back off when he saw the ring. “It’s just, okay. When do one and one make three?”

It takes him a moment to understand that, and then he looks absolutely gobsmacked. She takes his hands and leads them to the tiny bump she has on her lower stomach. She giggles at the awe on his face.

“We’re having a little bookworm?” He implores softly.

“Or a little Padfoot.”

“I’m going to be a father?” Sirius asked just as softly.

“We’re going to be parents.” Hermione assures.

“We’re going to be parents!” And he promptly passes out.

.

  • Draco: I've got to say that this report is quite impressive, Miss Granger.
  • Hermione: Thank you very much, Mr. Malfoy. And I have to say that the way that you're rockin' those slacks is quite impressive as well.
  • Draco: Well, thank you.
  • Blaise: [Clears throat] Can we hurry this up, please?
  • Draco: What? There's nothing wrong with acknowledging the fantastic work of one of your employees, especially if she's adorable.
  • Blaise: Please stamp the form.
  • Draco: I just want to admire it one more time. Again, fantastic work. In fact, such good work I think I'm in love with you.
  • Hermione: Oh, my God, that's great news, 'cause I'm in love with you too.
  • Blaise: Stamp the form.
  • Hermione: Okay, let's not let Blaise feel left out. We love you too, Blaise.
  • Blaise: Stamp the damn form!
Dramione Gothic
  • You fall. You wake up. There are 27 tabs open on your mobile. All of them are fanfiction.
  • ‘Can I see your phone?’ someone asks. You frantically close the tabs. Two tabs of fanfiction load for every one that you close.
  • Your hand is bleeding. You don’t remember how it happened, but it makes you think of Isolation. You smile.
  • You go about your day. You go to the park. You go to the shops. There are children everywhere. Children with brown and grey eyes and varying masses of blonde, wavy hair. Where are their parents?
  • Forget the children, you think; there is fanfiction to be read. You open your phone’s browser. There are new fics in the tag. There are no fics in the tag. There are three fics in the tag, and none of them have been updated in the past fifteen years. Dramione isn’t yet fifteen years old.
  • Something is wrong. You can feel it. You open tumblr. There is hate in the tag.
  • You refresh the tag. There are three edits in the tag. The same three edits, over and over. Over and over. Over…
  • You need a drink. You open your cabinet. There is nothing but firewhisky in your cabinet. You are a Muggle.
  • You drink the firewhisky. It will help you with your OTP feels. It does not help you with your OTP feels. You cry and open one of the three fics in the tag that have been abandoned for fifteen years.
  • Your blog was not a Dramione blog. Your blog is now a Dramione blog. It is spreading.
  • You reblog a post. You reblog ten posts. Your friend tells you that they ship Dramione because of you. The ritual is complete.
  • There is a new edit. Their faces are touching. You forget how to breathe. Your lips turn blue.
  • Everyone decides to adopt a headcanon. The headcanon is wrong. No one believes you.
  • Someone offers to make edit requests. ‘New Dramione edits!’ you think, as you go to their blog. Their ask box is closed. There will be no new Dramione edits.
  • You make plans to name your future daughter Cassiopeia. No one gets the reference.
  • You had no choice in choosing to ship Dramione. You always had a choice in choosing to ship Dramione. You did not realise you had had a choice in the first place. You no longer care.